Tuesday, November 14, 2006 6:03 PM CST

THE BEGINNINGS OF JESUS’ HUMANITY

When we went to Theresa Rose Clyde’s memorial this past summer, I was introduced to a young woman who had suffered two miscarriages and did not yet have a child. I assured her that indeed souls were created within her but also shared that initially I questioned such because I was a brand new Christian when I first miscarried.

I then relayed what I had read in a grief book, I’ll Hold You in Heaven, about the story of Mary’s visit to Elizabeth. When Mary greets Elizabeth, the baby in Elizabeth (John the Baptist!) jumps for joy and Elizabeth immediately knows Mary is blessed as Mary is carrying our Savior.

And how far along was Mary? About three days.

Below is Luke 1:26-48 on the story of Mary’s conception and her immediate visit with Elizabeth.

”And in the sixth month the angel Gabriel was sent from God unto a city of Galilee, named Nazareth,

To a virgin espoused to a man whose name was Joseph, of the house of David; and the virgin's name was Mary.

And the angel came in unto her, and said, Hail, thou that art highly favoured, the Lord is with thee: blessed art thou among women.

And when she saw him, she was troubled at his saying, and cast in her mind what manner of salutation this should be.

And the angel said unto her, Fear not, Mary: for thou hast found favour with God.

And, behold, thou shalt conceive in thy womb, and bring forth a son, and shalt call his name JESUS.

He shall be great, and shall be called the Son of the Highest: and the Lord God shall give unto him the throne of his father David:

And he shall reign over the house of Jacob for ever; and of his kingdom there shall be no end.

Then said Mary unto the angel, How shall this be, seeing I know not a man?

And the angel answered and said unto her, The Holy Ghost shall come upon thee, and the power of the Highest shall overshadow thee: therefore also that holy thing which shall be born of thee shall be called the Son of God.

And, behold, thy cousin Elisabeth, she hath also conceived a son in her old age: and this is the sixth month with her, who was called barren.

For with God nothing shall be impossible.

And Mary said, Behold the handmaid of the Lord; be it unto me according to thy word. And the angel departed from her.

And Mary arose in those days, and went into the hill country with haste, into a city of Juda;
And entered into the house of Zacharias, and saluted Elisabeth.

And it came to pass, that, when Elisabeth heard the salutation of Mary, the babe leaped in her womb; and Elisabeth was filled with the Holy Ghost:

And she spake out with a loud voice, and said, Blessed art thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb.

And whence is this to me, that the mother of my Lord should come to me?

For, lo, as soon as the voice of thy salutation sounded in mine ears, the babe leaped in my womb for joy.

And blessed is she that believed: for there shall be a performance of those things which were told her from the Lord.

And Mary said, My soul doth magnify the Lord,

And my spirit hath rejoiced in God my Saviour.

For he hath regarded the low estate of his handmaiden: for, behold, from henceforth all generations shall call me blessed.”

SHE LEFT US 1,636 DAYS AGO; OUR LIVES TODAY

Aubrey had a good time in Winona last weekend, or I should say she had a good time at the hotel in Winona. She loves being in charge of the room key, running down the hallways, and of course, the swimming.

Strangely, we both woke up in the middle of the night not feeling very well and Aubrey was worse off than I was. She was crying and wanted me to bring her home but it was 4:00 a.m. and I told her she would not be comfortable in the car. I coaxed her into trying to go back to sleep and she did and we were both fine in the morning.

We missed our guys, though, and by the way Noah was charging and roaring at us when we got home I’m sure he missed us! I now brace myself when I hear Noah running up behind me because I know he is going to charge his body at me. Boys sure are different. But Noah also always comes in the bedroom when I’m praying at night (he is supposed to be in bed at that time) to give me a second or third goodnight hug and to remind me that he loves me. Sweet and rough and loud all in one little boy!

AUBREY’S UPDATES

She only has a few bruises on her body. We a very good conference with her teacher and just hope she continues to enjoy school.

A NOTE ON GRIEF

I watched Aubrey, for the most part, play by herself in the pool at Winona. For a while she did play with a charming little girl who was very friendly. Her name was Gabrielle.

Although God knows best and does best, I wished so much that our Gabrielle had been there too.

OUR THANKS

Thank you for visiting Gabrielle’s site! We appreciate your prayers and kindnesses.

Note: Gabrielle will be mentioned in a Lutheran Hour Ministries broadcast coming up on November 19th—two days after her birthday anniversary. In the Twin Cities, the program will air on WCCO (AM) beginning at 6:05 a.m. If you are not from the Twin Cities, you can find broadcast information at the LHM Web site, below. Click on Radio & TV Programs from the left pane and then choose Broadcast Guide. Check The Lutheran Hour checkbox and then enter your zip code and state information and search!

*~* Lutheran Hour Ministries *~*

In His Arms,
The Paquette's: Monica, John, Aubrey, Saint Gabrielle, and Noah

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Wednesday, November 8, 2006 5:14 PM CST

WHAT POLITICIANS CANNOT DO

No party or politician can save America, only God can save us.

SHE LEFT US 1,630 DAYS AGO; OUR LIVES TODAY

Hmmm, yes, John and I were both initially quite disappointed with the election results but not surprised and not despaired. At least Minnesota hung on to our pro-life governor. As we cannot idolize politics, though, we both cheered up today and can only hope for the best in 2008!

On a lighter note, I am taking Aubrey to Winona this weekend for a one-night trip. As usual, the highlight for Aubrey will be the hotel pool. Winona has river bluffs I would like to see and I also want to take Aubrey for a walk around either campus for Winona State or Saint Mary’s. Not that we have any grand dreams that we will be able to afford college for either Aubrey or Noah, but I just thought it would be fun to have Aubrey see what a college campus looks like.

AUBREY’S UPDATES

I added Aubrey’s new school picture to the main page and now I know how some have mistaken her eye color for brown. Aubrey actually has pure green eyes—not hazel and not a speck of blue or brown. But I’ve noticed in pictures that they can appear to be brown.

I remember very little from my college biology classes except for snatches of a genetics section and especially eye genes. No one from either side of our family has pure green eyes so that must have been passed down, but recessed, from an ancestor. I find such things fascinating!

OUR THANKS

Thank you so much for visiting and for caring. Have a wonderful weekend and enjoy the weather before winter comes!

Thanking God, again, as the Creator of all life.

Thanking Jesus, our Redeemer, whose sacrifice on the cross brings the departed little ones home to their Father.

Thanking Gabrielle and all the suffering little ones, seen and unseen, for inspiring us so much to always fight for life—no matter how tiny that life may be. We can never stop praying and never give up hope.

Note: Gabrielle will be mentioned in a Lutheran Hour Ministries broadcast coming up on November 19th—two days after her birthday anniversary. I will post station information in the next few journal entries. Or you can find broadcast information at the LHM Web site, below.

*~* Lutheran Hour Ministries *~*

In His Arms,
The Paquette's: Monica, John, Aubrey, Saint Gabrielle, and Noah

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Thursday, November 2, 2006 6:07 PM CST

SURE TESTIMONIES FROM OUR TINIEST CHILDREN OPPOSING TODAY’S CULTURE OF DEATH

My OB/GYN, during Gabrielle’s embryonic stages, sadly informed me, I can give you very little hope that the pregnancy will go on.” I had already accepted that Gabrielle’s twin (a vanishing twin) had died and now this. But he then quickly followed up with, However, it would be immoral and unethical, at this point, for me to advise you to get a D&C.” He meant that we needed to give her life a chance as we are not the determiners of death.

But the pregnancy did indeed continue and astonished the ultrasound technician at week seven when the image of Gabrielle’s beating heart could not be missed. My OB/GYN later on remarked that vanishing twins can cause “great havoc” on the surviving twin. By week 20 or so, we were informed that Gabrielle had absorbed everything of her vanishing twin.

Advancing a little over two years, we found ourselves researching nutraceuticals (medicinal food) in a desperate attempt to save Gabrielle’s life as she battled neuroblastoma. In connection with nutraceuticals, we had been provided with research documentation on neuroblastoma. One sentence jumped out at us: a researcher had noted that one of the possible causes of neuroblastoma is the “vanishing twin” syndrome. I have always believed that Gabrielle’s neuroblastoma is in some way related to her absorbing her vanishing twin.

(Many do not know this, but embryonic stem cells cause malignant tumors and cancerous growths.)

Gabrielle’s twin and the baby I miscarried before Aubrey--our babies, our children, children of God--died during their embryonic stages of development. And during the embryonic stages of development of the child we came to know, love and cherish, when the fetal sac deceptively appeared as empty nothingness on the ultrasound image, we were told she would most likely never come to see this life. But she did come to see this life.

Personally, John and I have many reasons to vote only for those who oppose embryonic stem cell research (and many other issues on life and today’s world) and we shall do so. But the reasons to oppose embryonic stem cell research go far beyond our personal experiences with the untimely deaths of three of our children. I wish I could explain it more eloquently but cannot and so below is a link with thoughtful commentary in opposition to embryonic stem cell research and that will never be reported in mainstream media.

*~* First Things: On the Square *~*

“No life that is not a human being has the potential of becoming a human being, and no life that has the potential of becoming a human being is not a human being.” ~ That They May Have Life: A Statement of Evangelicals and Catholics Together, reprinted at First Things

GRAINS of RICE FOR AUBREY and GABRIELLE

I once placed tiny grains of rice on Aubrey’s and Gabrielle’s high-chair trays while telling them they started out even tinier than that inside me. Only a God like our God could knit His children so tiny that they are initially invisible to our eyes. But they are NEVER invisible to His eyes.

A NOTE ON GRIEF

Missing Gabrielle always but also missing the two we never knew.

OUR THANKS

Thank you for visiting Gabrielle’s site and remembering our child whose beginnings were not visible to our eyes. The same beginnings we all had, come to think of it.

Thanking God, our Creator, from whom all life comes.

Note: Gabrielle will be mentioned in a Lutheran Hour Ministries broadcast coming up on November 19th—two days after her birthday anniversary. I will post station information in the next few journal entries. Or you can find broadcast information at the LHM Web site, below.

*~* Lutheran Hour Ministries *~*

In His Arms,
The Paquette's: Monica, John, Aubrey, Saint Gabrielle, and Noah

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Friday, October 27, 2006 5:52 PM CDT

SEASONS OF WAITING

He who trusts in the LORD, mercy shall surround him. (Psalm 32:10)

“At times, God requires a season of waiting before He sends His blessing. Then trust becomes your greatest asset. If you don’t trust God with your need, you will cry out in fear and panic. At one point during the storm on the Sea of Galilee, the disciples thought they would perish. But Jesus commanded the wind and waves to be still. He taught those men how to trust Him even in the most tempestuous of circumstances, and He is teaching you to watch and wait for his outstretched arm.” ~ Charles Stanley, Into His Presence, reprinted in God’s Promises, Day by Day

SHE LEFT US 1,618 DAYS AGO; OUR LIVES TODAY

We should be having a low-key weekend, the best kind! Aubrey and I will be running in the Monster Dash 5K on Saturday morning and it’s a good thing we’ll be moving around because while it’s warmed up a bit it’s still chilly. Aubrey and Noah are excited for Halloween, which we will keep simple with just a bit of neighborhood trick-or-treating.

PRAYERS FOR…

Please pray for the Clyde and Buckentine families in their season of waiting. The Clyde family recently had another birthday anniversary without Theresa Rose and October 31 is the death anniversary of little Zachary Buckentine.

*~* Site for Theresa Rose *~*

*~* Site for Zachary *~*

OUR THANKS

As always, we thank you very much for visiting Gabrielle’s site.

If the changes happening all around you in today’s very uncertain times are troubling, then trust and know that Jesus surely will come again some day to gather all God’s children and bring them home. To our true home!

In His Arms,
The Paquette's: Monica, John, Aubrey, Saint Gabrielle, and Noah

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Friday, October 20, 2006 5:48 PM CDT

GABRIELLE’S STORY

I will post more specific information in the near future but wanted to note that Gabrielle will be mentioned in a Lutheran Hour Ministries broadcast in November. The Lutheran Hour “is the world's longest-running Christian outreach radio program. It airs weekly on more than 800 stations.” A link to the LHM Web site is below.

Lutheran Hour Ministries Web Site

We are so blessed that God continues to use Gabrielle’s story for His eternal purposes. Gabrielle is so very blessed also!

SHE LEFT US 1,611 DAYS AGO; OUR LIVES TODAY

Miss Aubrey turned eight!! We went out to Appleby’s last Saturday to celebrate and brought a neighbor girl, Greta along with us. Aubrey and Greta play very well and Greta is very, very well-behaved so we are truly grateful they are friends. Tuesday was the actual birthday so I took off half a day and surprised her and picked her up early from extended day. And Saturday we are having one more event and having the grandparents and Auntie Sarah join us for dinner.

PRAYERS FOR…

Please pray for Jake Raborn’s family. I hadn’t visited his site for probably a month and actually thought he was doing well and was heartbroken on Tuesday night to see he had died. We had just finished celebrating Aubrey’s birthday so Aubrey and Noah were real wound up and laughing there I was on the computer crying over Jake. It’s always the special pictures…their bald heads….their innocent eyes…that bring such waves of sadness.

I know they are with Jesus. But they are missed beyond description or explanation from our lives here.

*~* Site for Jake *~*

A NOTE ON GRIEF

One would think that as time from Gabrielle’s death passes that the deaths of other children would not be so hard but, in fact, it gets harder all the time. I know why.

It’s one more departed child.

OUR THANKS

Thank you for visiting!

There is so much going on in the world, evil and violence and more, but we can trust that God will yet work all of this to good for His purposes. He is an Awesome God!!

In His Arms,
The Paquette's: Monica, John, Aubrey, Saint Gabrielle, and Noah

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Friday, October 13, 2006 5:16 PM CDT

FAITHFUL

He who promised is faithful.

“A number of years ago, somebody counted the promises in the Bible, and totaled up 7,474. I can’t verify that number, but I do know that within the pages of the Bible there are thousands of promises that grab the reader and say, ‘Believe me! Accept me! Hold on to me!’ And of all the promises in the Bible, the ones that often mean the most are the promises that offer hope at the end of affliction. Those promises tell us, ‘It’s worth it. Walk with Me. Trust Me. Wait with Me. I will reward you.’” ~ Charles R. Swindoll, reprinted in God’s Promises, Day by Day

Grieving for the Amish community but knowing that they are holding on to God’s promises. Their display of forgiveness is beyond exemplary and their focus on God is inspiring (I had read that their funerals are about God and not about commemorating the dead.)

SHE LEFT US 1,604 DAYS AGO; OUR LIVES TODAY

Last weekend we took John’s mother up to St. Croix State Park for some sight-seeing and a picnic lunch. We could not have asked for a more beautiful day. On Sunday I went with Aubrey, one of her class-mates, and her class-mate’s mother to an apple orchard. It was gray and starting to turn chilly but not too bad. The weather has since taken a turn for the worse and it has been much colder than normal.

This weekend I’m taking Aubrey out looking for a Halloween costume. I might sign both of us up for a “Monster-Dash” 5K fun run at Lake Harriet scheduled later this month which means I will need a costume also. The run requires that you stop and “trick-or-treat” along the way (and carry your candy) so Aubrey will not have to run the full 3-miles without stopping.

OUR THANKS

Thank you for your continued visits. We hope you all have/had a great fall weekend. Praise God for His beautiful creation!!

Please seek Jesus as He alone can give the gift of eternal life!

In His Arms,
The Paquette's: Monica, John, Aubrey, Saint Gabrielle, and Noah

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Thursday, October 5, 2006 5:57 PM CDT

THE TRUE HEALER

Heal me, O LORD, and I will be healed. (Jeremiah 17:14)

“It is the soul prerogative of God to remove spiritual disease. Natural disease may be instrumentally healed by mortals, but even then the honor is to be given to God who gives virtue to medicine and bestows power to the human frame to cast off disease….’I will heal your wound,’ is a promise which could not come from the lips of mortals but only from the mouth of the eternal God.…All his patients have been cured in the past and shall be in the future, and you shall be one among them, my friend, if you would just rest in Him this night.” ~ Charles H. Spurgeon, Morning and Evening Devotional

SHE LEFT US 1,596 DAYS AGO; OUR LIVES TODAY

Last weekend was gorgeous and on Sunday we watched the Twin Cities Marathon, first from the 8-mile mark in Minneapolis on Minnehaha Parkway and then at the 25-mile mark on beautiful Summit Avenue in St. Paul. John said that he had heard the TCM organizers expected 250,000 spectators due to the great weather. We Twin Citians really do support our runners! Later on that day we just sat around outside and watched all the neighborhood kids play, I made the kids stay outside because it was so nice!

Sadly, we heard later on that day that one of the runners collapsed at the 6-mile mark and subsequently died. He was the father of seven biological children and many, many more foster children.

AUBREY’S UPDATES

Picking up a bit on her bruising but doing well in school according to her teacher.

A NOTE ON GRIEF

When I hear of others commenting that a bereaved parent has not moved on, I always want to clear up such a common misperception. I doubt history could find even one grieving parent who had not moved on in some fashion.

But a child’s death is so life-shattering that we no longer walk on same paved path we may have walked our entire lives. In fact, we are no longer traveling on a road but rather in a dense thicket with many thorns.

Thankfully, God’s Word is a lamp at our feet that guides our scythes of tears paving the way. He also faithfully plants roses for us to behold until eternity when the way of life after the death of a child shall be no more.

OUR THANKS

Thank you for continuing to visit Gabrielle’s site. It is very much appreciated. Have a great weekend! (Sorry to all the Twins fans....but there is still a chance.)

Praising God for his never-ending faithfulness…always!

In His Arms,
The Paquette's: Monica, John, Aubrey, Saint Gabrielle, and Noah

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Friday, September 29, 2006 6:41 PM CDT

SHE LEFT US 1,590 DAYS AGO; OUR LIVES TODAY

Well it did rain last weekend but not at all on Sunday and so after church we spent a good part of the day at OLP’s Fall Festival. We were gone almost all day Saturday so the weekend flew by and there was Monday…again.

PRAYERS FOR…

Please pray for little Catie Marie who will be having brain surgery in October. I’ve followed her site for a long time and she has bravely fought her cancer with many smiles.

*~* Site for Catie Marie *~*

A NOTE ON GRIEF

Because Noah was born only 10 months after Gabbie died, I was too exhausted emotionally to do much of anything…and that includes taking pictures.

The other night Aubrey and Noah were looking at pictures and Noah kept bringing me Aubrey’s baby pictures and asking, “Is this me?” Over and over I had to say, “No, that is Aubrey.” Each time his expression became more and more sad. Even I was about ready to cry and wondered how I could have let Noah’s baby years slip away. But I went and got out another box of pictures (our pictures are not organized—only in boxes and Gabbie’s are separate). I was so relieved to find at least a few pictures of Noah when he was very young.

The impact of Gabrielle’s death will be with us always and always in the present moment.

OUR THANKS

Thank you for visiting Gabrielle’s site. We hope you have a great weekend and we pray that Jesus Christ is your one and only Savior.

Jesus answered and said unto him, Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God.(John 3:3)

In His Arms,
The Paquette's: Monica, John, Aubrey, Saint Gabrielle, and Noah

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Friday, September 22, 2006 6:15 PM CDT

CRUMBS FROM THE MASTER’S TABLE

And she said, Truth, Lord: yet the dogs eat of the crumbs which fall from their master's table. ~ Matthew 15:27

“It was a very great thing to her, but she had such a high esteem of Christ, that she said, "It is nothing to Him, it is but a crumb for Christ to give." This is the royal road to comfort. Great thoughts of your sin alone will drive you to despair; but great thoughts of Christ will pilot you into the haven of peace. ‘My sins are many, but oh! it is nothing to Jesus to take them all away. The weight of my guilt presses me down as a giant's foot would crush a worm, but it is no more than a grain of dust to Him, because He has already borne its curse in His own body on the tree. It will be but a small thing for Him to give me full remission, although it will be an infinite blessing for me to receive it.’” ~ Charles H. Spurgeon, Morning and Evening Devotional

SHE LEFT US 1,583 DAYS AGO; OUR LIVES TODAY

We’ve been under depressing weather and this weekend is OLP’s fall festival. We’ve had great weather in year’s prior so I suppose we cannot complain if this weekend is a wash. But it is a source of income for the church so hopefully the rain will clear here and there.

I think we are settling into the school routine. Aubrey has already reported a small incident regarding the tight threesome that she is involved in and that started in Kindergarten. It’s nothing alarming but we are going to continue to watch this and we are doing what we can to encourage her to foster other relationships, which she does have.

AUBREY’S UPDATES

She’s been having a lot of bloody noses but her bruising has not been too bad.

PRAYERS FOR…

Most people already know….but please pray for the Thomas family. Christi battled, so bravely, neuroblastoma for four years.

When I follow these children there are always certain photos of them that jump out at me with overwhelming sadness. The one of Christi that I will never forget was where she was sitting on their couch at home and crying and you could tell she was dealing with immense pain. One of her parents had captioned the picture “Precious child in pain.”

*~* Site for Christi *~*

Precious indeed.

A NOTE ON GRIEF

Surviving siblings will have strange things to think about. The other day I was driving Noah to daycare and I happened to mention Gabbie’s soul. And Noah asked me a question:

"Does she have her skin?"

No, Noah. Her soul is waiting for her body to someday be reunited with her soul!

OUR THANKS

Thank you for visiting. Have a great weekend!

Please seek the LORD. There is absolutely no universal “we all go to heaven” found anywhere in the Bible. Only those who have accepted His free gift of grace shall see Heaven some day.

In His Arms,
The Paquette's: Monica, John, Aubrey, Saint Gabrielle, and Noah

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Monday, September 18, 2006 6:10 PM CDT

FLAMING ARROWS AND THE SHIELD

Above all, taking the shield of faith wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked.

“What are the "flaming arrows of the evil one" that the Christian is to extinguish with the shield of faith? These flaming arrows, or fiery darts, as it is translated in some versions, refer to every kind of assault that the devil launches against us. There is no limit to Satan's ingenuity. Every arrow has our name on it specifically. Do you know how it is said in warfare that the bullet that kills a soldier is the one that has his name on it? It is the one he never hears, I understand. So every fiery dart has our name upon it…..He [the Apostle Paul] also referred to Satan's assaults as being messengers of Satan who would beat him about the head. But no matter what metaphor Paul, or we, might use, when these fiery darts come, they are unpleasant in the extreme. Every one of them has as its avowed purpose the goal of causing us to forsake the way of the covenant made with God in Christ. It is nothing less than that. Satan is relentless in his assaults on Christians.” Excerpts from sermon by Don Garlington, Ph.D., Grace Valley Christian Center

The date of this sermon was 1996 and so precedes Gabrielle’s entrance into this life but was on her birthday anniversary, November 17.

PRAYERS FOR…

Please pray for Christi Thomas and her family.

*~* Site for Christi *~*

A NOTE ON GRIEF

There are many in my circle of life who I would deem to be pacifists and they can be uncomfortable with terms such as war, warfare, warrior, power, fight, and who also believe that peace is the answer to all or most of the world’s problems.

But I don’t mind the ideology of warfare being a (sometimes) necessity. I know that Gabrielle was a warrior for Christ and she fought hard. Her battle was indeed very ugly and hideous which may likely explain for us her very solemn nature and character. So many of her pictures show battle-weary eyes and I don’t even want to know, in this life, how many of those “fiery darts” had the name “Gabrielle Paquette.” Not my name or John’s name but the name of our two-year old little girl (we had and have our fiery darts, too). But in spite of the long fatigue of her battle, she never, ever quit or gave up.

While she was too young to fully understand Scripture from either my guidance or her Daddy’s, God, Himself, gave her a battle shield and, I am sure, He also inscribed His law upon her heart. And so she fought the good fight of faith with all the power of God behind her.

Missing our quiet little warrior so very much but believing so very much we shall meet her again. She is resting now in complete joy!

OUR THANKS

Thank you for visiting Gabbie’s site today. Thank you for praying for Christi Thomas and her family.

Please accept Jesus Christ as your Savior as it is only His righteousness that can bring you home to heaven some day. The battle cannot be won without Him!

In His Arms,
The Paquette's: Monica, John, Aubrey, Saint Gabrielle, and Noah

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Wednesday, September 13, 2006 5:52 PM CDT

TODAY’S YOUTH CARES!

We often hear pessimistic views about today’s youth. But if we look, and not very far, we can also find very much good in today’s youth. Here is something that will take place this weekend in many states and that shows much hope and optimism for the values of young people.

Is your car dirty and in need of a wash? Then click on the link below to see if there will be a “Wash for Life” in your city. This is a “New, Nationwide, Pro-Life Youth Event.” Proceeds from the washing of your car will go to local pregnancy care centers.

*~* Wash for Life *~*

Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I dedicated you. (Jeremiah 1:5)

SHE LEFT US 1,574 DAYS AGO; OUR LIVES TODAY

Aubrey and Noah love their new bunk beds. And I am lucky that John has spoiled Noah more than I have because John is the one called into their room at night when Noah falls out! He has fallen out every night but we joke about it so there are no tears.

It took John six hours to set them up and probably six hours for me to get all the bedding (remember they both only had crib mattresses) . From the lower-priced sets, I let Aubrey pick out her sheets and comforter after pointing out that she needed to see TWIN on the packaging. Well, Noah distracted both of us and when we got home and opened Aubrey’s comforter it was a KING so off we went back to the store for a long exchange process.

My sister, Nancy, was in town from California as she had gone on a cruise near the Netherlands with my parents and she spent a few days here before heading home. Sunday’s rainy/cool weather chased us into a coffee shop instead of a walk around the lake.

After Nancy left and now that our neighborhood babysitter is around again (her family spends most of the summer up north), John and I went out on a dinner date.

AUBREY’S UPDATES

Her first week of school went well and her second grade teacher has told us she does not give out as much home-work. The homework situation last year got a bit tense. Her bruising is so-so but there are lots of bloody tissues in the wastebaskets in our house due to all her nose-bleeds.

PRAYERS FOR…

Please keep praying for Christi Thomas and her family. What a stressful situation and all the more with the hospital not located near their home.

*~* Site for Christi *~*

OUR THANKS

Thank you for visiting Gabrielle’s site. Please pray for a very successful Wash for Life!

Thanks to all those young folks dedicating part of their weekend to saving those dedicated by God Himself! Keep working and praying and perhaps some day the unborn will be oppressed no more.

In His Arms,
The Paquette's: Monica, John, Aubrey, Saint Gabrielle, and Noah

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Sunday, September 10, 2006 9:49 PM CDT

THE ENDURANCE OF PAIN

"Five years on, their recollections remain as vivid, shocking and painful as they were on September 11, 2001: The brilliant blue morning in lower Manhattan… the terror that swept Pennsylvania Avenue… the fear of becoming another target….the loss of a beloved son…the sickened realization that suspicions about a guy named Moussaoui had been right all along. For most Minnesotans, 9/11 was a remote event, witnessed on television or read about in a newspaper. For a few, it was immediate, awful and sometimes life-changing." ~ Bob Von Sternberg, Minneapolis Star Tribune

PRAYERS FOR…

For our wonderful country, America.

A NOTE ON GRIEF

"Tom and I still grieve for our son, and we'll probably grieve for the rest of our lives....I think any parent can relate to that." ~ Beverly Burnett, a Minnesotan, speaking of the death of her son Tom Burnett. Tom was one of those who assisted in the brave insurrection against the terrorists on United Flight 93.

OUR REMEMBRANCE

I remember feeding Aubrey and Gabrielle in their highchairs one work morning and John called me and told me to turn on the news. One plane had already hit one of the towers and I watched in shock as the second plane hit the second tower.

Seventeen days later,"...she has a tumor. You don't want to see it." ~ ER nurse at Minneapolis Children's who said Gabbie's tumor was so large I should not see it. I saw it later that night and kept asking the doctor, "But where's the tumor?" The tumor was her entire abdomen, which explained my confusion.

Our lives have never been and never will be the same. We will always remember her and deeply grieve for her. We will always remember the unprovoked and horrible attack on our nation. But everything, absolutely everything, is in His hands and for that, we will always rest assured that some day this will all be made right.

In His Arms,
The Paquette's: Monica, John, Aubrey, Saint Gabrielle, and Noah

---

Tuesday, September 5, 2006 5:05 PM CDT

NOT FORGOTTEN

Behold, I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands. (Isaiah 49:16)

“….Even when any one of his people wanders from him, and grieves his heart, he says, “Yes, but I have loved thee with an everlasting love, and I will not cast thee off. Though all that thou now art might tend to wean me from thee, yet mine is not the love of yesterday, it is not a passion like that which flames within some men for a brief space, and then quickly goes out in darkness.” It is God’s eternal love that makes him keep us in memory. He has graven us, from all eternity, upon the palms of his hands, and therefore he cannot forget us....” ~ Charles H. Spurgeon Sermon: Neither Forsaken nor Forgotten, November 5, 1882

SHE LEFT US 1,566 DAYS AGO; OUR LIVES TODAY

We had a good Labor Day weekend and the weather was much nicer than predicted. On Saturday Aubrey and I took a bus to the Minnesota State Fair and the rain, which was supposed to be all day, held off until we were done and on our way home.

We also finally purchased a bunk bed for Aubrey and Noah. Noah is still in a crib and poor Aubrey has been sleeping on a crib mattress on the floor for years. Her new bed and new mattress will seem like the Taj Mahal!

AUBREY’S UPDATES

Today was back to school day for Aubrey!! She was very excited and we are hoping for another good year. She wrote out a three-week schedule for how I am to fix her hair—one day braids, the next a half-pony, the next a full-pony, etc, even including a corresponding picture she drew for each type of hairstyle. She has her schedule taped to the bathroom wall.

She went to school today with French braids created from the night before—which meant no hassles this morning. Maybe we will focus on French braids as often as possible. I have been told there will come a day when she will be very particular about her hair and brush it all the time but that does not seem possible!

A number of bruises and noticeable bleeding from the nose but otherwise she seems quite healthy.

PRAYERS FOR…

Children and the excitement of another school year beginning…even in this life can be very, very unfair.

Please pray for the Thomas family. Christi Thomas has been battling neuroblastoma for years and the news from her doctor is not good. What breaks my heart when following the stories of these children is their love for things in this life that others take for granted far too often. If you read Christi’s journal you will learn that she absolutely loves going to school. She just wants to go to school.

These children are innocent and have asked for so little and yet they are the ones who seem to pay the most in this life for our fallen condition.

*~* Site for Christi *~*

And, yet, we know that God has not forsaken or forgotten these little and most innocent ones. After all, they are engraved in the palm of His hand. Not their names…but they themselves are engraved in His hand.

OUR THANKS

As always, we thank you so much for visiting Gabrielle’s site. Thank you for your guest book entries!

In His Arms,
The Paquette's: Monica, John, Aubrey, Saint Gabrielle, and Noah

---

Monday, August 28, 2006 6:31 PM CDT

HIS GREAT SUPREMACY

O praise the LORD, all ye nations: praise him, all ye people.
For his merciful kindness is great toward us: and the truth of the LORD endureth for ever. Praise ye the LORD. (Psalm 117)

What a wonderful privilege to serve such a supreme God! God’s mercy is great and God’s truth endures forever! The changes around us can be pressing and many in this world claim that truth changes as discoveries and technology advance but that is not true. God’s truth is absolute and unchanging and we can surely cling to His truths as our only salvation and our only guidance.

SHE LEFT US 1,558 DAYS AGO; OUR LIVES TODAY

We are back from our trip and we had a great time! While we had some rain the weather was actually perfect although Aubrey acted as if she was melting on one of our excursions to a beautiful sculpture garden. We went to Myrtle Beach but stayed south of the “party” strip. We went to a family-oriented resort that really is geared towards young children.

Noah was initially terrified of the ocean but on our last night he was so enthused with it that he was throwing himself into the waves even though we had just changed him into dry clothes.

Aubrey really enjoyed our trip and she was able to swim in the ocean or the outdoor pools every single day.

John was relieved that the flying was really not that bad. Our one and only hitch was on our way to the airport at the start of our trip when we realized we had left the traveler’s checks at home. We had the cab driver drop me and the kids off and drive John back to our house and then back to the airport. Thankfully I had insisted we get to the airport very early and so we had plenty of time to spare.

As much as I enjoyed the trip I am glad we are home—I’m a homebody and not sure I’ll ever change.

PRAYERS FOR…

Please pray for Max Jordan’s family. Their precious beautiful baby boy is now with Jesus.

*~* Site for Max- *~*

A NOTE ON GRIEF

I missed her so much on our trip. One night I had an intense dream about her and unlike the one I usually have (where she comes home to die but continues to live and I actually see her) this is the other dream and it is more painful.

Gabbie was still living in this dream but she remained at the hospital. What is so unbearable is that in my dream I have not been to the hospital to see her for quite some time. So obviously in my dream I am making all attempts to get to her but cannot do so. Why would I not be at the hospital with her?

I can only think that my inability to go to her grave is deeply ingrained in my innermost being and that in my dream watching her suffer at the hospital is too painful and so I choose not to be there. But, of course, I would never have chosen that.

OUR THANKS

Thank you for visiting Gabrielle’s site! Thank you for caring for the other children.

In His Arms,
The Paquette's: Monica, John, Aubrey, Saint Gabrielle, and Noah

---

Friday, August 18, 2006 5:57 PM CDT

FEAR of the LORD

The fear of the LORD is the instruction of wisdom. (Proverbs 15:33)

“Freedom to choose or to reject, freedom to obey God’s commands or to go contrary to them, freedom to make himself happy or miserable. For it is not the mere possession of freedom that makes life satisfying—it is what we choose to do with our freedom that determines whether or not we shall find peace with God and with ourselves.” ~ Billy Graham, Peace with God, reprinted in God’s Promises, Day by Day

SHE LEFT US 1,548 DAYS AGO; OUR LIVES TODAY

We are just about ready for our trip—the kids are excited beyond words, especially Aubrey. Should be a nice time to relax and enjoy the ocean as we live so far from either coast.

AUBREY’S UPDATES

Poor Aubrey has another hideous bruise. It’s so bad that John is bringing our ITP information sheets with us on our trip in case anyone should question her bruises.

PRAYERS FOR…

Please keep praying for healing from God and relief from pain for little Max. He is really struggling.

*~* Site for Max- *~*

OUR THANKS

Thank you as always for visiting. We hope you have a great weekend.

Remember, too, there is only one way to heaven and that is through acceptance of Jesus Christ as LORD and Savior!

In His Arms,
The Paquette's: Monica, John, Aubrey, Saint Gabrielle, and Noah

---

Monday, August 14, 2006 6:26 PM CDT

HIS HUMANITY

Jesus said to him, "The foxes have holes, and the birds of the sky have nests, but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay his head." (Matthew 8:20)

There are those who deny Jesus’ humanity (and others deny his deity) and yet the Bible tells us that he suffered poverty, thirst, fatigue, and hunger just as we sometimes do.

SHE LEFT US 1,544 DAYS AGO; OUR LIVES TODAY

We are getting ready for our trip to South Carolina. Due to the foiled terror attacks on flights from the UK to the United States, the Northwest flight attendants have delayed their CHAOS strike long enough so that we shouldn’t have a problem getting to South Carolina but may run into trouble getting home. Fortunately, Aubrey and Noah are too young to have any apprehensions about flying, whether due to strikes, terrorism, or plane crashes.

Noah is still potty-trained and has not regressed!

AUBREY’S UPDATES

My mom was visiting a few nights ago and we were outside while Aubrey was biking up and down the block. My mom then asked if Aubrey had fallen off her bike as she was just sitting on the boulevard several houses down from us. I assumed she was just sitting down for some reason but eventually I approached her and she cried as soon as I got to her. She had fallen and hurt herself and the next day she had a very nasty and IPT-indicative bruise on her groin. Her legs are also not looking so well but she doesn’t complain and we still hold out hope that she will outgrow ITP.

PRAYERS FOR…

Please keep praying for Max Jordan. I can hardly bear to look at his innocent pictures and then imagine his intense suffering.

*~* Site for Max- *~*

A NOTE ON GRIEF

There are so many ways in which the resulting grief from the death of a child resembles a famine.

Whether year one or year ten in a deep famine, hunger persists and does not ease at all. Imagine if well-fed missionaries went into countries facing famine and commented, “It’s been ten years, are you really still hungry?”

Of course, a true missionary would never say such a thing. But the grief from the death of a child is, unfortunately, greeted with such beliefs from some of those who have always been well-fed. (Not everyone…and I appreciate all of you for that!!)

OUR THANKS

Thank you for visiting! Thanks for praying for the other families.

In His Arms,
The Paquette's: Monica, John, Aubrey, Saint Gabrielle, and Noah

---

Monday, August 7, 2006 5:57 PM CDT

AUBREY’S UPDATES

Aubrey is bruising a little more but otherwise holding steady.

This summer Aubrey has been going to daycare with Noah but it has not been as problematic as last year. She still does not like being the only older child but thankfully two days a week there are two other children her age. We also send her to daycare with several workbooks and she has been getting paid per page completed based on correctness and neatness. Normally we wouldn’t “pay” her to do homework but what a great way to motivate her to earn money during the summer and also to stay on top of what she learned in first grade. I’ve heard it can take some children weeks or even months to get back into learning mode when school starts in the fall.

Noah is, at least during the daytime, finally potty-trained!! Initially he resisted so I ordered some rubber-pants and thick underwear but by the time the package arrived in the mail Noah was trained. We still have some minor issues to work out but mostly it has gone well.

When we get back from our vacation we are going to buy bunk-beads so that Noah can come out of the crib and then we will start potty-training for nighttime. And poor Aubrey will have a real bed! We have two other unused bedrooms but because they are on a different floor Aubrey and Noah will probably share a room for a few more years.

PRAYERS FOR…

Please pray for sweet baby Max Jordan and his family. Little Max was diagnosed with cancer when he was only one-month old.

*~* Site for Max *~*

OUR THANKS

Thank you for visiting. Have a blessed day.

In His Arms,
The Paquette's: Monica, John, Aubrey, Saint Gabrielle, and Noah

---

Thursday, August 3, 2006 9:52 PM CDT

How Long?

Keep not thou silence, O God: hold not thy peace, and be not still, O God.

For, lo, thine enemies make a tumult: and they that hate thee have lifted up the head.

They have taken crafty counsel against thy people, and consulted against thy hidden ones.

They have said, Come, and let us cut them off from being a nation; that the name of Israel may be no more in remembrance. (Psalm 83:1-4)

A NOTE ON GRIEF

She was pressed on all sides,
She only wanted to love, play and run,
She was pressed on all sides,
While Aubrey and Noah love, play and run freely.

Gabrielle was pressed on all sides by the evil of cancer and submitted her life to suffering.

She is pressed on all sides,
She only wants her people to be free and her children safe,
She is pressed on all sides,
While our children love, play and run freely.

Israel, O Israel, pressed by your enemies, while our children live so free.

OUR THANKS

Thank you for visiting Gabbie's site. I smile when I watch Aubrey and Noah play so freely yet my mother's heart knows that tough times are truly coming and some day Aubrey and Noah will probably also be pressed on all sides.

While it seems God is too slow to respond we can know and trust that His timing is perfect. He is longsuffering mainly so that more and more will respond to His call and the offer of His free gift.

Thank you for waiting for us, God.

In His Arms,
The Paquette's: Monica, John, Aubrey, Saint Gabrielle, and Noah

---

Monday, July 31, 2006 10:08 AM CDT

OUR SHADE

The LORD watches over you—
the LORD is your shade at your right hand;
the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.

SHE LEFT US 1,530 DAYS AGO; OUR LIVES TODAY

Minnesota could set some heat records today (we might see 104) so I decided to take the day off and treat Aubrey and Noah to a pool—maybe even a waterpark (to be honest, I'm not at all fond of waterparks but I know the kids would be very happy).

And yes, I caved in and we have had our AC on since Friday night. I enjoy this heat but for one thing and that is having our windows closed. Tomorrow is only supposed to get up to 90 so I'm hoping to turn our air off either tonight or tomorrow morning.

AUBREY’S UPDATES

Her legs are starting to bruise again and it has been a year now.

A NOTE ON GRIEF

Gabrielle knows neither sweltering heat nor shivering cold. And someday when the new heavens and earth are created all of God's children will live in a climate so perfect we will be in wondrous awe.

OUR THANKS

Thank you for visiting Gabbie's site today. Thank you for caring.

In His Arms,
The Paquette's: Monica, John, Aubrey, Saint Gabrielle, and Noah

---

Tuesday, July 25, 2006 8:45 PM CDT

LETTER FROM A FRIEND!!

Always at the right moment God sends us friends with heartwarming words that lift us up…on this sad journey of the death of a child.

Below is something a friend sent to me by e-mail. We have never met in person although we hope to do so because she is here in the Twin Cities. Gabbie is by no means a prophet but like the prophet without honor sometimes the significance of her short life is far more understood by strangers then those much closer to her.

And I am so very, very grateful, so thank you, my friend. I've included everything, with the exception of names, because it means so much to me.

Dearest Monica ...

I have been spending a lot of time reflecting on what my life has become as
an adult and where I was before I found the Lord. I must honestly say that
Gabbie's story and the continuous strength that you tell it has helped me
find my way. I have become a different person and have become so much
stronger in my faith and in turn have tried so very hard to teach the same
to others, especially my daughter ….. I know that frequently you close
your journals with a message of finding God. I just wanted to say Thank You
again for helping me do just that. This is what I have come up with as I
reflected upon my journey to finding God. Thank you for helping me. I look
forward to meeting up with you sooner rather than later. God Bless You
Monica and thank you for sharing your Gabbie with me and so many others ...

How tonight can you have peace with the Almighty God, the Creator of the
Universe?

1. Understand that the Almightly God, the Creator of the Universe loves
each of you desperately and that He has a wonderful plan for your life.
Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know that plans that I have for you, declares the
Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a
future and a hope."

2. When sin entered the world, we were separated from Almightly God and
we could no longer have communion with Him. Romans 3:23 "All have sinned
and fall short of the glory of God." That means all-every single one of
us. Romans 6:23 "For the wages of sin is death but the gift of God is
eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord."

3. God has made a way for each of us to have peace with God and that is
through His Son, Jesus Christ. "For God so loved the world that He gave
His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish
but have everlasting life." John 3:16 Jesus said, "I am the way, the
truth, and the life, no man comes to the Father except through Him."
John 14:6

4. We each have to individually come to the point in each of our lives
that we personally accept the free gift that God has offered. "If you
confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that
God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved." Romans 10:9-10

So that is the deal - the whole deal. If tonight in your heart you would
pray and ask the Lord Jesus to come into your life, forgive you of your
sin and to cleanse you from all your unrighteousness and be eternally at
peace with Gabbie's God, that is the greatest blessing you would ever
give her. This is the prayer that Gabbie prayed and that you can pray
also right now. . .

I continue to pray that so many others will ask the Lord Jesus to enter
their lives and forgive them of their sins and be eternally at peace
with Our God.

God Bless you Sweet Solemn Gabrielle, so much wiser than so many others.
I WILL BE DERE Gabbie! Thank you for teaching me the way ....

A NOTE ON GRIEF

Some of my tears are not so sad as the letter above is a glimpse of God working the horrible tragedy of Gabbie's death for something good.

OUR THANKS

Thanks to all of you who have at one time or another shared with me the impact Gabrielle had on your life.

Thank you for visiting! God bless.

In His Arms,
The Paquette's: Monica, John, Aubrey, Saint Gabrielle, and Noah

---

Thursday, July 20, 2006 4:32 PM CDT

TRUSTING NOT OURSELVES

But we had the sentence of death in our selves, that we should not trust in ourselves, but in God which raiseth the dead.

SHE LEFT US 1,519 DAYS AGO; OUR LIVES TODAY

I took a day off today and Aubrey, Noah and I spent several hours at the pool. Perfect summer day!

And so although it is a beautiful day it is also a very contemplative day. When John gets home from work we are all headed out to the cemetery for a memorial service for Theresa Rose. Theresa Rose is buried in the same cemetery as Gabrielle but in a different section. I will stay in the car or have John drop me off at the front gate if he wants to go to Gabbie's grave.

PRAYERS FOR…

Please pray for our faithful friends, Cathy and Nate Clyde, and their daughters, Mary and Sara.

Theresa's Site

A NOTE ON GRIEF

"Pain plants the flag or reality in the fortress of a rebel heart."

"When God wants to do an impossible task, He takes an impossible individual—and crushes him."

Authors unknown.

There is no greater crushing of the entire being then the death of a child…nor is there any reality more real.

OUR THANKS

Thank you for coming to Gabbie's site today! Thank you for praying for our friends, the Clyde family.

Have a safe weekend. Do not trust in yourselves…trust in God only.

In His Arms,
The Paquette's: Monica, John, Aubrey, Saint Gabrielle, and Noah

---

Friday, July 14, 2006 9:42 AM CDT

TELL IT TO YOUR CHILDREN!

Tell it to your children, and let your children tell it to their children, and their children to the next generation. (Joel 1:3)

"It is a pleasant duty to talk of Jesus to our sons and daughters, and the more so because it has often proved to be an accepted work, for God has saved the children through the parents' prayers and admonitions. May every house into which this volume shall come honor the Lord and receive His smile." ~ Charles H. Spurgeon, Morning and Evening

SHE LEFT US 1,513 DAYS AGO; OUR LIVES TODAY

I took a vacation day today and am home this morning with Aubrey and Noah as Aubrey got home last night from Alexandria. We are in a heat wave, which could become dangerous this weekend, so we will be heading off to a pool shortly. I really do feel sorry for those who cannot take the heat but for me, well, I enjoy it! We have yet to run our AC but I will probably turn it on this afternoon so that when my construction hubby comes home from a day of working in the heat he will be greeted by a cool house.

Aubrey had a great time at the lake and I know the kids are entertained constantly. It's a tradition that started in my mom's family before I was even born.

A NOTE ON GRIEF

We are missing Gabrielle deeply as we try to start our own family traditions.

OUR THANKS

Thanks for visiting Gabbie's site. We are very grateful for Auntie Sarah's watchful care of Aubrey at the lake and for all those who helped Aubrey have a great time!!

Please take much care in this weekend's heat.

Share Jesus with your children…they are so open to Him when they are young.

In His Arms,
The Paquette's: Monica, John, Aubrey, Saint Gabrielle, and Noah

---

Friday, July 7, 2006 5:30 PM CDT

EVEN THE SPARROWS

Are not two sparrows sold for a farthing? and one of them shall not fall on the ground without your Father.

But the very hairs of your head are all numbered.

Fear ye not therefore, ye are of more value than many sparrows.

(Matthew 10:29-31)

AUBREY’S UPDATES

Tomorrow Aubrey is heading up to Lake Carlos in Alexandria with my sister, Sarah. I completely trust Sarah but like any mother I worry and worry when she is out of my sight. Last year was supposed to be the last year she went to the lake but I caved in for one more year.

We have told Aubrey that due to her ITP she will not be tubing behind a boat. I think she was a little disappointed but not too much. (Last week there was a story in the news about a 42-year old man who died after he hit the water hard while….tubing—that sealed the decision about tubing.)

And when Aubrey comes back she will start counting the day until our own family vacation, later in the summer, to Myrtle Beach, South Carolina.

PRAYERS FOR…

The Olson family has now lost little McKenna to Alpers after losing a son, Drew, to the same disease. Please keep them in your prayers.

*~* Site for McKenna *~*

Please also pray for the Petz family who lost a beautiful boy, Benny, to neuroblastoma.

*~* Site for Benny *~*

If even the sparrows are watched…how very much more He takes seriously the death of these littlest and most pure saints.

OUR THANKS

Have a great weekend. Seems so trivial to say that when thinking of McKenna and Benny and all the other children who have died.

Jesus is the only way, the only truth, and the only life. We will not see these little ones again unless our trust and faith are solely in Jesus Christ.

In His Arms,
The Paquette's: Monica, John, Aubrey, Saint Gabrielle, and Noah

---

Wednesday, July 5, 2006 6:20 PM CDT

SHE LEFT US 1,503 DAYS AGO; OUR LIVES TODAY

We had a great four-day weekend although John did go to work on Monday. It has finally warmed up again and I had Aubrey and Noah at a park-pool twice and was relieved to see Noah finally take to the water. There’s a great park in south Minneapolis that few families take advantage of and I really enjoy sitting at a quiet pool with Aubrey and Noah.

We didn’t go anywhere special for fireworks as some neighbors down the street, once again, put on their own little show and that’s enough for us. Anyway, you hear the sonic booms all night in our neighborhood.

AUBREY’S UPDATES

Well, the bruising I thought she had around her mouth turned out to be lipstick that did not come off in the shower! So she was doing better. But now more bruising is coming back and even her hands are a little black and blue.

We might be facing chronic ITP but I think John and I are ready for that diagnosis.

On a lighter note, Aubrey finally got off training wheels about four weeks ago and she has been pestering me to take her biking all the way around Lake Harriet (it’s just under 5-miles). So we tried it on Saturday morning and but for a few “stay to the right, stay to the right” nervous shouts from me, she did great! We biked the route again on Tuesday and she stayed to the right the entire time.

PRAYERS FOR…

This little boy, Jake Raborn, is so cute! He has hepatoblastoma and has been through a lot and could use your prayers.

*~* Site for Jake *~*

OUR THANKS

Thanks for visiting! We hope you enjoyed your holiday weekend.

GOD BLESS AMERICA!!! We certainly need His blessings more than ever.

In His Arms,
The Paquette's: Monica, John, Aubrey, Saint Gabrielle, and Noah

---

Wednesday, June 28, 2006 9:56 PM CDT

A COVENANT FOR THE PEOPLE

"Jesus Christ is Himself the sum and substance of the covenant and, as one of its gifts, He is the property of every believer. Can you estimate what you have received in Christ? 'In Christ all the fullness of the Deity lives in bodily form.'" Charles H. Spurgeon, Morning and Evening

I will make you to be a covenant just for the people. (Isaiah 49:8)

Some would tell me it's an indulgence but now that Aubrey is out of school she can sleep in with Noah and so after John leaves for work I have my coffee, the sounds of the outdoors, and beautiful scented breezes. And because I'm trying to avoid the TV I read a little of Charles Spurgeon on most mornings (and that's why I keep quoting him!)

SHE LEFT US 1,496 DAYS AGO; OUR LIVES TODAY

The Lasik surgery went well and I had 20/20 vision at the post-op! I had the newer procedure, Intralase, and so it was without any type of knife and just pure laser. It was quite an experience but there really is no pain, mostly pressure. I was outside less than four hours later with the kids and the neighbors and the next morning took Aubrey for a jogger-ride.

AUBREY’S UPDATES

I thought she had food on her face tonight but after her shower I discovered she has bruising around her mouth. So, we are still dealing with ITP.

PRAYERS FOR…

Someone John and I know very well is really, really in desperate times. Please pray that God call out to him a little louder.

My mother has had her last chemo (except for the pill form that she will take for years) and all seems to be well. Pray that she remain in remission.

OUR THANKS

Thanks for all the good wishes on the surgery! Thanks for visiting Gabbie's site.

In His Arms,
The Paquette's: Monica, John, Aubrey, Saint Gabrielle, and Noah

---

Friday, June 23, 2006 8:55 AM CDT

ADOPTED CHILD

Mere infants in Christ. (1 Corinthians 3:1)

"Are you mourning, believer, because you are so weak in the divine life: because your faith is so small and your love so feeble? Cheer up, for you have cause for gratitude. Remember that in some things you are equal to the greatest and most full-grown Christian. You are as much bought with blood as he is. You are as much an adopted child of God as any other believer. An infant is as truly a child of its parents as is the full-grown man….." Charles H. Spurgeon, Morning and Evening

It's so easy to look at other Christians further on their walk and compare your own walk which may seem like a failure. Yet one of God's promises if you are His is that He will work out your life for good….we must be patient.

SHE LEFT US 1,491 DAYS AGO; OUR LIVES TODAY

I am taking a day off today with Aubrey because I am getting new eyes! (Lasik surgery) Everyone keeps asking me if I'm nervous and I've had so many other things on my mind that, no, I have not even been thinking about it very much. But I am hoping it goes well and am excited about not having to deal with contacts and glasses.

My mom is driving me to and from and will watch Aubrey during the surgery. The medical center where I'm going has lots of places to walk around outside with fountains and walking paths.

I almost didn't sign-up for this when the doctor started explaining the lifting of the flap during the procedure…..

OUR THANKS

Thanks for visiting Gabbie's site. Hope you all have a great weekend.

There is so much going on in the world that can be so distressing. Please look to the Savior and know that no matter what may be down the road for America and our lives, God is in control and He WILL work out everything for good. Some day.

In His Arms,
The Paquette's: Monica, John, Aubrey, Saint Gabrielle, and Noah

---

Wednesday, June 21, 2006 8:45 AM CDT

PRAYING ANYTIME

Devote yourselves to prayer. (Colossians 4:2)

"Our necessities are so deep that, until we are in heaven, we mustn't stop praying….Prayer is the lisping of the believing infant, the shout of the fighting believer, the requiem of the dying saint falling asleep in Jesus." Charles H. Spurgeon, Morning and Evening

For the longest time I thought praying to God could only be done in the formal quiet of kneeling down in a room alone or with other believers. But you can pray while driving in your car, while sitting at your desk at work, while walking or running outside. You can pray just about anytime and God will listen!

PRAYERS FOR…

This morning when I first got up John told me that there was one of "those pictures" in the paper that just get to you. At first I thought it was going to be of some poor child in a developing nation but it was from the obituaries. I gasped, as it was a little boy I just recently had pointed out to me.

Please pray for Luke Wood's family. Luke's picture in the paper is so sweet and yet we know the parents now are feeling the greatest harshness known.

www.caringbridge.org/lukewood

A NOTE ON GRIEF

Grieving for our children and the children of others, however deep and harsh, does not mean at all that we are wasting our time here or letting life pass by. If anything, we experience life more deeply then we ever did before.

OUR THANKS

Thank you for visiting and thanks, as always, for caring for so many children.

In His Arms,
The Paquette's: Monica, John, Aubrey, Saint Gabrielle, and Noah

---

Wednesday, June 14, 2006 6:17 PM CDT

JUST REMEMBERING

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses… Hebrews 12:1

In some ways we are commanded not to forget the past but to remember, remember, the saints who have gone before us.

A NOTE ON GRIEF

From CaringBridge journals only, it may seem as if we never stop referring to our departed child. But in life outside of our journaling I know that the departed children are spoken of far, far less often than our living children or the living children of those who never buried a child.

And yet….the merest mention of our child or grief brings about a restless impatience in some who cannot tolerate that we yet again speak of our departed child. How strange this is.

And so I remain ever grateful that we can remember, remember the departed children on our CaringBridge sites.

AUBREY’S UPDATES

I took a vacation day yesterday to spend some time with Aubrey. We went for a short walk, had lunch outside on our deck, and biked a mile or so around the neighborhood. We also went to a movie which we will not do again on such a nice day—had to force myself to leave the warm outdoors to enter the cool stale air at Southdale. In the evening Aubrey and I went to a send-off gathering for a family we know getting ready for a mission trip abroad.

(We still cannot bring Noah to events that require even a few moments of decorum so only Aubrey and I could attend!)

PRAYERS FOR…

Please pray for the Duckworth family as they have been through so very much. I know they, like us, begged and begged God to heal their Jacob in this life but God’s answer was to bring Jacob home.

*~* Site for Jacob *~*

And please all pray for Cameron Wood who is on hospice…another beautiful and suffering Minnesota child.

*~* Site for Luke *~*

OUR THANKS

Thank you for keeping me informed of the other children—I appreciate it very much. Hope you all have a great day.

Remember Jesus and all He has freely done for us!!

In His Arms,
The Paquette's: Monica, John, Aubrey, Saint Gabrielle, and Noah

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Wednesday, June 7, 2006 5:53 PM CDT

AUBREY’S UPDATES

A couple of Sundays ago, I left church early because Aubrey was with me and she did not feel well at all. We got home and she settled herself on the couch. I had a volunteer commitment for that afternoon and while making the phone call to confirm I would still be coming, Aubrey was sitting on the couch looking at me with tears streaming down her face.

I should have canceled my other commitment. It seems as if today’s world thinks nothing of the fact that I am away from my children and my home 50+ hours a week.

I understand we are not here just to raise children. But Aubrey and Noah are still so young and I’ve decided from now on I will say no to any ongoing commitment UNLESS Aubrey or Noah can come with me or it’s something at church on Sunday when I would already be there.

I would much rather say “maybe later” to adults than to keep saying “maybe later,” to my children. The saddest song in the world is Cat’s in the Cradle….

…I said, "I'd like to see you if you don't mind."
He said, "I'd love to, dad, if I could find the time.
You see, my new job's a hassle, and the kid's got the flu,
But it's sure nice talking to you, dad.
It's been sure nice talking to you."
And as I hung up the phone, it occurred to me,
He'd grown up just like me.
My boy was just like me….

My little girl is still bruising.

A NOTE ON GRIEF

We lost a child and our other two children are growing up too fast. We are even pulling back on play-dates for Aubrey because it takes away from what little, little family time we have left. An occasional play-date is fine but life is already so hectic and if it doesn’t slow down then soon my own children will say….life’s a hassle… talk to you later.

OUR THANKS

Thank you for visiting and thanks for letting me vent frustration.

In His Arms,
The Paquette's: Monica, John, Aubrey, Saint Gabrielle, and Noah

---

Thursday, June 1, 2006 6:23 PM CDT

A NOTE ON GRIEF

The baby’s legs were limp. Folds of skin hung from his bones, easily holding the shape of the doctor’s pinch – a telltale sign of dehydration.

His face glossed with fever, his narrow chest heaved and fluttered. His milky eyes darted desperately around the dim tent. He was a month old, but weighed less than five pounds.

This baby is Mukhtar Ahmed and I found a picture of him in today’s Star Tribune and he is an innocent victim of the hunger in Darfur. His eyes, apparently, betrayed his desperation.

In what kind of world is this that even month-old babies, such as Mukhtar, have desperation in their eyes? Or toddlers like Gabbie and all the other children ravaged by horrible disease or horrible accidents?

What kind of world? A very, very fallen world.

PRAYERS FOR…

The Fraher family just lost a beautiful little girl to neuroblastoma. I was looking at the photos and saw a picture of a little girl with a bald head and sitting on her hospital bed playing with beads…just like Gabrielle. And here in Minnesota, too. (Thank you, Sara.)

www.caringbridge.org/visit/julia

TODAY’S CROSSES…TOMORROW’S GLORY

I consider the sufferings of the present to be as nothing compared with the glory to be revealed in us. —Rm 8:18

This Scripture verse is always worth repeating.

OUR THANKS

Thank you so much for visiting. We hope you have a great weekend…looks like we could have another few very warm days.

As always, look to the Savior for your salvation! There may be many paths to Jesus Christ but he is certainly the only way to the Father.

In His Arms,
The Paquette's: Monica, John, Aubrey, Saint Gabrielle, and Noah

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Tuesday, May 30, 2006 5:58 PM CDT

A LITTLE CHILD

The mother of the counselor at The Salvation Army who contacted us happened to be in town and she was there when we all went last week. She told me that the verse that keeps popping into her head, with regard to Gabbie, is that a little child shall lead them.

God does use children for His glory and for His purposes. He probably uses them far more than we will ever know in this life.

The wolf will live with the lamb, and the leopard will lie down with the young goat; The calf, the young lion, and the fattened calf together; and a little child will lead them. (Isaiah 11:6)

SHE LEFT US 1,468 DAYS AGO; OUR LIVES TODAY

We had a fairly decent holiday weekend. It was hot, humid, and hot. I am now known in our neighborhood as the mean wife because we did not turn on our air. But I never said it couldn’t be turned on! On Sunday it was 89 degrees in the house when we put the kids to bed but John got hungry and baked a pizza. So then our house went up to 90 degrees. We did not use the oven the rest of the weekend.

We spent a lot of time outdoors with the kids and neighbors and ran sprinklers so the kids could cool off. On Memorial Day morning I met up with a friend visiting from California and we had hot coffee while sitting in the sun.

Summer is short here so some of us do not complain about the heat, and, in fact, we seek it out.

Later that day I took Aubrey, Noah, and a friend of Aubrey’s to get cold slushies at the Dairy Queen and then for some play time at a park. I was distracted with Aubrey and her friend for about 15 seconds and then noticed Noah was gone. I yelled and yelled and my heart and legs were racing to find him. I did find him around the corner of a building but found the whole incident very disturbing as would any parent.

PRAYERS FOR…

A gentleman signed Gabbie’s guest book and mentioned a boy named Cameron in need of prayers. Cameron has neuroblastoma. I’m so sorry for Cameron and his family.

www.caringbridge.org/visit/cameronhenke

A NOTE ON GRIEF

Over the holiday weekend I took a trip to a local drugstore with Aubrey and Noah in tow, in the wagon. Aubrey had been pouting because of where she had to sit in the wagon so I was simply letting her pout. But then she started to cry and I asked her what was wrong. This was her heartbroken reply:

”When we watched the video of Gabbie at the Salvation Army, you (me) called Gabbie your special child.”

This is why our grief runs ever so deep. Not only the death and illness of the child causes pain but the very natural parental focus on the ill child causes pain for the surviving child. There truly is not one area of our lives that is left untouched or unscathed.

And, yes, I did explain to Aubrey that she was special in her own way but that due to Gabbie’s cancer we had to focus on her for a while. Aubrey has now accepted that she has heard me call her special far more times than Gabbie ever heard me say it.

OUR THANKS

We are so grateful for your continued visits to Gabbie’s site. Thank you so very much!

By the way, you guys are special!

In His Arms,
The Paquette's: Monica, John, Aubrey, Saint Gabrielle, and Noah

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Friday, May 26, 2006 5:40 PM CDT

REMEMBERING the SOLDIERS

I watch my children play, eat, and sleep. I watch knowing with much gratefulness that my children play, eat, and sleep in relative safety.

Remembering and thanking all the courageous soldiers who have fought for freedoms and who have given Americans so much to be grateful for. Without the soldiers, this great country would not be what it is today.

REMEMBERING FRIENDS

Please pray for my friend Yolanda, and her husband George, as they faithfully follow Jesus while missing Anna, their only child. Anna loved Jesus and went home on May 30, 1997. (Link at the bottom of the page to Anna’ site—Galations 5.)

PRAYERS FOR…

All the mothers and fathers of brave soldiers who have heard these words, “We regret to inform you….”

OUR THANKS

Thanks, as always, for visiting and for remembering so many departed children. Hope you have (or had) a great holiday weekend and enjoy the hot and muggy weather!!

We are not in the land of the living going to the land of the dying, we are in the land of the dying going to the land of the living.

And that ever bright eternal land of the living has but one entrance, one way, one door, Jesus Christ.

In His Arms,
The Paquette's: Monica, John, Aubrey, Saint Gabrielle, and Noah

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Wednesday, May 24, 2006 8:47 AM CDT

THE SALVATION ARMY

We are so blessed and God has been so kind.

Due to a turn of events from the "In Memoriam" for Gabrielle, we all went to the Salvation Army last night and shared our story about Gabbie. But we, especially John and me, are the ones who walked away blessed. The men we met last night, struggling with trials which we know nothing about, are very, very special. The way some of the men clutched their Bibles and prayed over us will be a memory we hold dear for a long, long time.

But we also know that every detail that led us to the Salvation Army was all in God's Sovereign hands.

We know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him. Romans 8:28

"Say not my soul, 'From whence can God relieve my care?'
Remember that Omnipotence has servants everywhere.
His method is sublime, His heart profoundly kind,
God never is before His time, and never is behind."
Charles H. Spurgeon, Morning and Evening

PRAYERS FOR…

Our friends, those seeking and those already believing, at the Salvation Army.

A NOTE ON GRIEF

We never expected that Gabbie's story would end up at the Salvation Army. We never expected that Gabbie's story (the memoriam) would be taped up to the wall of a classroom in a public high school.

OUR THANKS

We thank God for His Sovereignty and all that He has done.

Have a good day and thanks for visiting!

In His Arms,
The Paquette's: Monica, John, Aubrey, Saint Gabrielle, and Noah

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Tuesday, May 16, 2006 9:30 PM CDT

GABBIE’S MEMORIAM

I just wanted to quick update and thank everyone for all the wonderful guest book entries and all the cards. There were some special notes in some of the cards and we appreciate the loving remembrances of Gabbie.

I also wanted to say that God has really blessed us by using Gabbie’s memoriam. I’m still in a bit of shock but I will just say that much has happened. I wanted the memoriam to touch people but I truly had no idea that so much could happen in 72 hours. With God, all things are possible.

God bless all of you. We are so very, very touched.

DEPARTED CHILD

As always, thank you from the bottom of our hearts to those who continue to support us on this journey. We will always remember you for remembering Gabbie and we are eternally grateful.

We thank the good LORD for all He has done and for his tender mercies. We thank the LORD for loving Gabrielle beyond our wildest dreams.

Below is the memoriam I placed in both papers for the Twin Cities in the obituaries. I also included a good photo and a suffering photo. Because that is who Gabbie was and what her life was....quiet suffering.

DEPARTED CHILD

Departed Child, it has been four years and our sojourner hearts grieve harshly but our heavenly hearts rejoice gladly for your soul!

Patient Child, your soul eagerly awaits the coming Resurrection for the full redemption of your body.

Wondrous Child, your soul joyfully praises our Redeemer in His presence!

Persevering Child, we remember your exemplary composure of sad but so silent tears when you asked, “cancer gone?” and Mama said “No.”

Blessed Child, Daddy treasures the memory of the day before you died as you pointed at someone he could not see and said, “Jesus, Jesus, Jesus.”

Wise Child, Mama told you it may be time to go home to Jesus, and you asked, “Will you be dere?”

Providential Child, you were cruelly scourged by cancer but the Sovereign Father carried you and gently stilled your heart in His timing.

Kind Stranger, thank you for reading about our Shy Child, could you please read a little more?

There is only one way home to the Father and that is through the Son, Jesus Christ. “Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.” (John 14:6)

And so our Heavenly Child begs of you, please, “will you be dere?”

Saint Child, we love you so much. Daddy, Mama, Aubrey and Noah

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Friday, May 12, 2006 8:43 AM CDT

ETERNAL WORD

In these ever increasing uncertain times isn't it reassuring to know God's Word is eternal and everlasting? I was listening to someone on KTIS who recently went to a talk on terrorism and said that his mood was light upon starting the seminar but that the room was appalled and gloomy by the end of the seminar. And the movie from the book that attacked Christianity, The DaVinci Code is soon set to release and how many more will be wrongly persuaded by Brown's fictional fantasy? I read a statistic and fewer and fewer Americans believe in absolute truth.

But we can't despair and need to go on trusting Him and Him only.

Your word, O LORD, is eternal; it stands firm in the heavens. Psalm 119:89

PRAYERS FOR…

The Carlsen family from North Dakota as their baby girls undergo a very, very difficult surgery. Sisters Abbigail and Isabelle are conjoined twins and we here in Minnesota have been privileged to follow their story in the Star Tribune and on the news. I believe the surgery is today.

A NOTE ON GRIEF

Someone once told me I "probably now have a different perspective." That is somewhat true.

Gabbie's death and the impact of her death on my life is an experience. I don' t view life that differently but rather life is completely different.

OUR THANKS

Have a wonderful weekend and thank you for visiting and for your kind thoughts! Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers!! Prayers for all my mother friends who have buried a child as a mother could know no greater pain.

Remember that God is eternal truth. The only truth.

In His Arms,
The Paquette's: Monica, John, Aubrey, Saint Gabrielle, and Noah

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Wednesday, May 10, 2006 8:53 AM CDT

SLEEPING

I slept but my heart was awake. (Song of Songs 5:2)

"…With a perishing world around us, to sleep is cruel; with eternity so near at hand, it is madness. Yet none of us are as awake as we ought to be; a few thunderclaps would do us all good, and it may be, unless we soon move quickly, wake ourselves up, we shall have them in the form of war, or pestilence, or personal bereavements and losses. O that we may leave the forever couch of physical comfort and go forth with flaming torches to meet the coming Bridegroom!..." ~ Charles H. Spurgeon, Morning and Evening

SHE LEFT US 1,448 DAYS AGO; OUR LIVES TODAY

We had great weather over the weekend and we were outside a lot on Saturday. On Sunday only Noah and I went to Nurse Kate's daughter's First Communion celebration as it overlapped with John's nephew's, Joey, First Communion Mass. Noah and I then later joined John and Aubrey at Joey's celebration. The First Communicant's at Joey's church let balloons go and Joey's note was to Gabbie—how sweet!

AUBREY’S UPDATES

On Monday, Our Lady of Peace called and told us that Aubrey probably had pink-eye so we had to pull her out and bring her to the pediatrician. Turns out she did not have pink-eye but as long as John had her there the doctor checked her counts.

She is above the danger level but her platelets are only at 40,000. Normal range is 150,000 to 400,000. We just keep going and hope that she yet grows out of this.

PRAYERS FOR…

Please pray for the Fraisse family who lost Raphael, an incredible son. I never met Raphael but he worked at the International School here in Minnesota with my sister, Sarah. Raphael is originally from France and he seems to have made friends in many places in the world.

Raphael's Site

A NOTE ON GRIEF

I rarely ask for prayers but please pray for us. The sadness around this time of year is hard enough but I also am always flooded with very unpleasant memories. I get so edgy and by the time I prayed last night I simply asked God to forgive me because my thoughts were not so good through-out the day.

The most hurtful, hurtful things in life are when others do to you what would anger them deeply if the roles had been reversed. So as I struggle with these memories, and their numbers are overwhelming, please pray for me.

I would love to sleep through this but that is not what God wants.

OUR THANKS

Thank you for visiting. Thank you for your prayers. Thank you for acknowledging Gabbie's suffering. Yes, her tummy was swollen and it must have been very uncomfortable for her. Thank you, Michelle, for noticing.

In His Arms,
The Paquette's: Monica, John, Aubrey, Saint Gabrielle, and Noah

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Friday, May 5, 2006 5:53 PM CDT

HE IS THE POTTER; WE ARE THE CLAY

I’ve been thinking about all the children and their stories that have painfully come into my life. However painful to think of their suffering, I am much, much richer for such heartache.

You are the Father; we are the clay, and You our potter; and all we are the work of Your hand. (Isaiah 64:8)

”God is the Potter, we are the clay. His is the one who gives the commands; we are the ones who obey. He never has to explain Himself; He never has to ask permission. He is shaping is over into the image of His Son, regardless of the pain and heartache that may require. Those lessons are learned a little easier when we remember that we are not in charge, He is.” ~ Chuck Swindoll, printed in God’s Promises, Day by Day

SHE LEFT US 1,443 DAYS AGO; OUR LIVES TODAY

We have a busy weekend—or I should say a busy Sunday. Church and Sunday school in the morning and then two different First Communion celebrations. We will attend one celebration in the early afternoon for the daughter of one of Gabbie’s nurses and another celebration later on in the day for one of John’s nephews.

AUBREY’S UPDATES

She looks so battered and bruised. I would be a wreck if the bruises were painful but thankfully they are not. Just blue, black, and green decorations on her skin—how pretty!

PRAYERS FOR…

An ever so faithful family just lost their beautiful little boy, Micah. His pictures are so sweet and yet so painful.

*~* Site for Micah *~*

A NOTE ON GRIEF

Oh, I know the Potter did what was right for Gabbie but I long to see…I just want to see her.

OUR THANKS

As always, we thank you so much for continuing to visit Gabrielle’s site. We are so very, very grateful.

Have a beautiful weekend. There is an absolute and unshakeable truth…JESUS!!!

In His Arms,
The Paquette's: Monica, John, Aubrey, Saint Gabrielle, and Noah

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Tuesday, May 2, 2006 5:40 PM CDT

HELD BY GOD IN SUFFERING

I know I’m not the only grieving parent who has noticed this new song by Natalie Grant. I thought I heard “appalling” in the lyrics regarding the death of a child but I wasn’t sure so I looked it up.

Held

Two months is too little.
They let him go.
They had no sudden healing.
To think that providence would
Take a child from his mother while she prays
Is appalling.

Who told us we’d be rescued?
What has changed and why should we be saved from nightmares?
We’re asking why this happens
To us who have died to live?
It’s unfair.

Chorus:
This is what it means to be held.
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive.
This is what it is to be loved.
And to know that the promise was
When everything fell we’d be held.

Bridge:
This hand is bitterness.
We want to taste it, let the hatred NUMB our sorrow.
The wise hand opens slowly to lilies of the valley and tomorrow.

(Chorus)

Bridge:
If hope is born of suffering.
If this is only the beginning.
Can we not wait for one hour watching for our Savior?

(Chorus)
Artist, Natalie Grant; Written by Christina Wells

SHE LEFT US 1,440 DAYS AGO; OUR LIVES TODAY

Aubrey and I had a great time in Stillwater….in spite of the non-stop rain! For Aubrey, the most exciting part is staying in a hotel so the rain did not get her down. We swam several times in the pool but spent more time in the whirlpool. Downdown Stillwater has unique shops so we browsed but fortunately bought very little. We went to beautiful St. Michael’s for church and out to dinner on Saturday night.

PRAYERS FOR…

Please pray for our dear friends-they are both such wonderful families. The Nielsen family recently faced another anniversary of Steven’s death and the Buckentine’s are facing another birthday anniversary for Zachary.

*~* Site for Steven *~*

*~* Site for Zachary *~*

A NOTE ON GRIEF

I pray every night for the souls of Aubrey and Noah. And after I pray for their souls, I pray for their physical health and safety.

I prayed the same every night when it was Aubrey and Gabrielle. And every weekday after I dropped them off at daycare I tearfully thanked God over and over for such wonderful blessings.

Thank you, God, thank you, God. Please God, please God, keep them safe.

And in the midst of prayer…she suffered immensely and she died.

OUR THANKS

Thank you so much for visiting.

Thank you, God, for holding us and for your assurance that Gabrielle is now truly safe.

In His Arms,
The Paquette's: Monica, John, Aubrey, Saint Gabrielle, and Noah

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Thursday, April 27, 2006 8:35 AM CDT

IN REMEMBRANCE

Do this in remembrance of me. 1 Corinthians 11:24

"It seems then, that Christians may forget Christ! There could be no need for this exhortation, if there were not a fearful supposition that our memories might prove treacherous. Nor is this a bare supposition: it is, alas! too well confirmed in our experience, not as a possibility, but as a lamentable fact. It appears almost impossible that those who have been redeemed by the blood of the dying Lamb, and loved with an everlasting love by the eternal Son of God, should forget that gracious Savior; but, if startling to the ear, it is, alas, too apparent to the eye for allow us to deny the crime.
.
.
.
Let's charge ourselves to bind a heavenly forget-me-not about our hearts for Jesus our Beloved, and, whatever else we let slip, let's hold fast to him." ~ Charles H. Spurgeon, Morning and Evening

How often during the day do we forget Jesus? Sadly, I am distracted too often.

SHE LEFT US 1,435 DAYS AGO; OUR LIVES TODAY

Another weekend almost upon us! I'm so busy at work that the days fly by and so too do the work-weeks. This week-end I am taking Aubrey to Stillwater for our "hotel-trip." We took one several years ago and Aubrey asks every year when we are doing it again so I caved. Stillwater is only about 45 minutes away but we can spend some one-on-one time. And that time is priceless!

AUBREY’S UPDATES

She has bruises all over and I'm sure her counts are quite low.

A NOTE ON GRIEF

As another CaringBridge parent recently noted, busy lives do not ease the grief.

OUR THANKS

Thank you for taking the time out of your busy lives to visit Gabbie's site. Thank you for remembering Gabbie! We hope you all have a great week-end.

Remember, remember, the Savior. There is no other way. Great intellects have set out to disprove Christianity and they come away, however surprised, as believers.

So remember the Savior!

In His Arms,
The Paquette's: Monica, John, Aubrey, Saint Gabrielle, and Noah

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Friday, April 21, 2006 6:00 PM CDT

PRAYING FOR OTHERS

And the Lord turned the captivity of Job when he prayed for his friends. (Job 42:10)

“The real business of your life as a saved soul intercessory prayer. Wherever God puts you in circumstances, pray immediately, pray that His Atonement may be realized in other lives as it has been in yours. Pray for your friends now; pray for those whom you come into contact now. Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest

SHE LEFT US 1,429 DAYS AGO; OUR LIVES TODAY

We had such nice weather and now it’s turned rather gray and dreary again. Well, we have somewhat of a busy weekend planned so hopefully we won’t notice the weather. John and I are going to a fundraiser for OLP on Saturday night—Starry Starry Night. I didn’t go last year so I’m not sure what to expect. We are hoping that one of Gabrielle’s nurses, Nurse Kate, will be joining us! Her daughter, one grade ahead of Aubrey, will be going to OLP next year so hopefully we will see more of her.

On Sunday John has volunteered to clean-up after Starry Starry Night and I will also start my first time as a teacher in Noah’s class at First Evangelical Free. I have never done anything like this but am actually looking forward to working with the two-three year old children.

PRAYERS FOR…

So many families watching their children suffer from cancer. Please, please pray for them.

A NOTE ON GRIEF

Thank you to all those who have at one time or another thanked us for sharing Gabbie and her legacy. You have NO IDEA how much it means to us!!

OUR THANKS

Have a great weekend. Remember that Jesus is THE only way and not just one of many ways.

In His Arms,
The Paquette's: Monica, John, Aubrey, Saint Gabrielle, and Noah

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Tuesday, April 18, 2006 8:31 AM CDT

LATER ON

"How happy are tested Christians, later on. No calm more deep then that which succeeds a storm. Who hasn't rejoiced in the clear shining after rain? Victorious banquets are for well-exercised soldiers…..It is peace, sweet, deep peace, which follows the horrible turmoil which once reigned in our tormented guilty souls. See, then, the happy estate of a Christian! He has the best things last and, therefore, in this world receives the worst things first. (How very, very true for our dear Gabrielle!) But even the worst things are 'later on' good things, harsh ploughings yielding joyful harvests. Even now he grows rich by his losses, he rises by his falls, he lives by dying, and becomes full by being emptied; if, then his grievous afflictions yield him so much peaceable fruit in this life, what shall be the full vintage of joy 'later on' in heaven? If dark nights are as bright as the world's days, what shall the days be?....Oh blessed 'later on!' Who wouldn't be a Christian? Who wouldn't bear the present cross for the crown which comes later on? But herein is work for patience, for the rest is not for today, nor the triumph for the present, but 'later on."

Wait, O soul, and let patience have her perfect work." ~ Charles H. Spurgeon, Morning and Evening

Morning and Evening is a daily devotional of some of the works of Charles Spurgeon with a morning and evening reading for each day. The excerpts above from Later on (Hebrews 12:11) are for May 18. The day after Gabrielle left us.

Later on. How very true.

SHE LEFT US 1,426 DAYS AGO; OUR LIVES TODAY

We hope you all had a good Easter celebration! It was quite a day for us but it was a good day. My neighbor had volunteered my faith story to our pastor and I was asked if I wouldn't mind giving it on Easter—which was also the first Sunday that First Evangelical Free went to two services.

On Saturday night my neighbor called to tell me she had also invited many of our neighbors so I was nervous as public speaking is a rarity for me. And many of them did come…I was so very touched!!

John and Aubrey (Noah went to the nursery) came to the second service. After my faith story, I went back to the pew and found John with tears streaming down his face. I'm not a very prepared wife/mother and I never have Kleenex in my purse so we sent Aubrey off to the bathroom to get him some tissues.

A number of people came up to me and shared how they too had lost a child. The children ranged from ages six weeks to 61 years of age….no matter their age they are always our children and should never depart before us.

After church we went to Maple Grove to my brother-in-law's and sister-in-law's house for a nice Easter brunch. When we got home we faced the reality of a very messy house, no time for grocery shopping and no time to finish the weekend's laundry.

Well, it's all about Jesus so who cares about laundry and groceries!

AUBREY’S UPDATES

She has quite a few bruises. But she also, finally, learned how to ride a bike this weekend and she is somewhat of a klutzy girl.

A NOTE ON GRIEF

I shall see you, Gabbie. Your glorified body shall be forever reunited to your soul, Gabbie.

Later on.

OUR THANKS

Thank you all for continuing to visit Gabrielle's site. I want to thank my sister, Nancy, for sending me that photo of Noah, above, with the massive hair, as I was shocked when I saw it but it is a great photo to keep and treasure!

Have a wonderful day and never lose the hope that Jesus shall indeed come again, later on, and bring all His children to eternal life with God. And we can worship God in pure joy.

In His Arms,
The Paquette's: Monica, John, Aubrey, Saint Gabrielle, and Noah

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Thursday, April 13, 2006 8:36 AM CDT

POURED OUT AND THROUGH THE FIRE

I am poured out like water, and all my bones are out of joint. (Psalm 22:14)

"….He was wounded, and felt the sword; He drained the cup and tasted every drop.

As we kneel before our now ascended Savior's throne, let's remember well the way by which He prepared it as a throne of grace for us; let's in spirit drink of His cup, that we may be strengthened for our hour of heaviness whenever it may come. In His natural body every member suffered, and so it must be in the spiritual; but as out of all His griefs and woes His body came forth uninjured to glory and power, even so shall His mystical body come through the furnace with not so much as the smell of fire upon it." ~ Charles H. Spurgeon, Morning and Evening

OUR THANKS

Our family thanks our Heavenly Father for the most precious gift of His Son, Jesus Christ. Without the pouring out of His innocent blood and His glorious resurrection we would be nothing and have no hope.

THANK YOU….OUR SAVIOUR LIVES….THANK YOU….OUR SAVIOUR LIVES!

We hope all of you have a very blessed Easter.

In His Arms,
The Paquette's: Monica, John, Aubrey, Saint Gabrielle, and Noah

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Friday, April 7, 2006 6:21 PM CDT

HIS RESURRECTION…OUR RESURRECTION

Albert Mohler reports on his blog that most Americans do not believe in a bodily resurrection.

(A poll undertaken and published by Scripps Howard News Service and Ohio University points to a most interesting finding -- a majority of Americans no longer believe in the resurrection of the body.)

I’ve had both believing and non-believing relatives tell me that it’s possible we won’t have physical bodies. This is not true!!

As usual, Mohler had a lot to say but below are his closing remarks.

“Instead, this is further evidence of the doctrinal evasiveness of today's churches. My firm guess is that the vast majority of Americans simply have no idea that the Bible clearly teaches a doctrine of personal resurrection and that the claim is central to the Gospel itself. Whose fault is that?

I tell you this, brothers: flesh and blood cannot inherit the kingdom of God, nor does the perishable inherit the imperishable. Behold! I tell you a mystery. We shall not all sleep, but we shall all be changed, in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. For the trumpet will sound, and the dead will be raised imperishable, and we shall be changed. For this perishable body must put on the imperishable, and this mortal body must put on immortality. [1 Corinthians 15:50-53, English Standard Version]”

SHE LEFT US 1,415 DAYS AGO; OUR LIVES TODAY

OLP had spring break this week so I took Tuesday off to spend time with Aubrey. We ended up having the neighbor girl, Greta, join us as we went to see Hoodwinked (pretty good I might say!).

Before we went off to the movie Aubrey and Greta wanted to walk around the block and pick-up trash. We came home with a lovely souvenier—a shell casing. Last Saturday night right after I went to bed I heard a spray of bullets and so John turned on his scanner. All we know is that a vehicle was shot at multiple times at the end of our block. Thankfully no one was hurt.

But it hurts us as we and all our neighbors truly enjoy living in our little south Minneapolis neighborhood. I do think that most of us still feel very safe during day-time hours. Lots of runners, lots of walkers, lots of families with kids, lots of coffee shops….and more.

AUBREY’S UPDATES

Last weekend Noah picked up one of my rubber-stamps (they are mounted on solid wood) and whipped it at Aubrey’s head. She immediately got a little egg and a very, very ugly bruise. Noah was marched straight to his room after that and I did not suppress my yelling. I don’t know what prompted him but he and Aubrey had been playing and Noah can get whipped up easily and he has this intense amount of physical energy—hope he becomes a runner some day! But since he loves to throw I guess I might have to accept baseball.

PRAYERS FOR…

So many children dying. Please pray for Cam’s family and visit his site. A beautiful boy who battled neuroblastoma and autism. Seems so unfair to have so much poured on one little body.

*~* Site for Cam *~*

Please also pray for Nick Snow’s family. Nick battled neuroblastoma and was NED…but as any cancer parent knows, the harshness of the treatment is so devastating that sometimes children die from results of treatment and not the cancer itself. Nick certainly also endured more than his fair share.

*~* Site for Nick *~*

A NOTE ON GRIEF

Dearest Gabrielle, I fully believe I will embrace your physical and resurrected body some day. What a day that shall be!!

OUR THANKS

Thank you so much for visting….Gabbie’s site and all the other sites. God bless you!

Know that through the righteousness of the Son we look with much hope to a resurrected body in our eternal life. But only if we admit we are sinful creatures and we look to Jesus as our Savior.

In His Arms,
The Paquette's: Monica, John, Aubrey, Saint Gabrielle, and Noah

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Sunday, April 2, 2006 1:02 PM CDT

THE LITTLEST ONES

…The Kingdom of heaven is like a mustard seed, which a man took and planted in his field. Though it is the smallest of all your seeds, yet when it grows, it is the largest of garden plants and becomes a tree, so that the birds of the air come an perch in its branches." Matthew 13:31-32

Some day all the things of God, which may seem small now, shall produce results beyond our human comprehension.

PRAYERS FOR…

Here is another little neuroblastoma warrior and his family who really need prayers. Please keep Cam and family in your prayers.

Site for Cam

A NOTE ON GRIEF

You were so very little, Gabbie. But God's plans for you are so very, very big.

OUR THANKS

Thank you for visiting. Thanks to all those who went over to Ashleigh's site and offered condolences.

Only Jesus will bring us home some day and so only Jesus can offer that heavenly reunion with our departed loved ones.

In His Arms,
The Paquette's: Monica, John, Aubrey, Saint Gabrielle, and Noah

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Wednesday, March 29, 2006 8:31 AM CST

UPDATE

BROKEN, BROKEN HEARTS

I think it was her constant smile or maybe it was because she and Gabbie had the same wicked cancer. All I know is I’m very sorry and very saddened to note that she has died. I will try to concentrate on the mundane, mundane, unimportant things at work today but it will be almost impossible.

SHE LEFT HER FAMILY TODAY…THEIR LIVES WILL NEVER BE THE SAME

Please pray for sweet Ashleigh’s family.

*~* Site for Ashleigh *~*

* * * * *

SHE LEFT US 1,406 DAYS AGO; OUR LIVES TODAY

We had a good weekend, especially with a visit from my friend, Jen Buckentine. Jen (Zachary's mama) drove down from Saint Cloud with Brady and baby Tate for a visit. Brady is so well-behaved and Tate is a very cute roly-poly baby!

On Saturday night we took Aubrey and Noah to the Minnesota State High School Boy's Basketball championship. John went to DeLaSalle so he was very happy to see them beat Duluth. Aubrey surprised me by paying attention to the entire game and she even corrected me once when I started daydreaming and accidentally clapped for the wrong team.

AUBREY’S UPDATES

She has some bruising so we know her counts are not normal. Last night before she showered she was worried about a bruise right in the crotch area and so I asked her is she was playing on the monkey bars and, why yes, she was. Well, that's your answer.

If we hadn't been through Gabbie's cancer we would probably be at the pediatrician's office getting her counts checked every month just as they told us to. But why bother when the bruising is nothing to worry about and the bruises themselves can tell us her counts are not normal.

PRAYERS FOR…

Please keep praying for Ashleigh….I guess she is feeling OK and has been out and about.

Ashleigh's Site

A NOTE ON GRIEF

A couple of weeks ago we got a flyer from Common Ground at church along with the bulletin. It included a Holmes-Rahe Stress Scale that indicated in order or importance events that precipitated change or life transition. While other deaths were on the list, the death of a child was absent. How could that be? I know the answer.

Most children in America do not die and most American parents do not bury children.

OUR THANKS

Thank you for visiting and have a good day. Enjoy the beautiful weather and all the signs of a loving Creator.

Missing Gabbie very much but thanking God for a roof over our heads, food on the table, and jobs we like. Although I still dream about being a stay-at-home mom!

In His Arms,
The Paquette's: Monica, John, Aubrey, Saint Gabrielle, and Noah

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Tuesday, March 21, 2006 5:52 PM CST

GLORY TO GOD!

Wherefore God also hath highly exalted him, and given him a name which is above every name:

That at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of things in heaven, and things in earth, and things under the earth;

And that every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father. (Philippians 2:9-11)

SHE LEFT US 1,398 DAYS AGO; OUR LIVES TODAY

Just like everyone else these days….we are struggling to keep the pace with school work, work schedules, highly energetic children, and so much more. But we are thankful to God for all that we have.

Noah finally got a real haircut a couple of weeks ago. John took him to the Home & Garden show and he couldn’t believe how many times Noah was called a girl. So I took Noah to Great Clips the following day and I was asked if the haircut was for “her.” No, it’s for him and that is why we are here! Noah behaved well but had a very strange frown on his face the entire time—I think he was scared so I stood there and held his hands.

PRAYERS FOR…

Keep praying for Ashleigh. Her story is breaking my heart so very much.

*~* Site for Ashleigh *~*

I can only imagine the heartbreak of finishing up chemo and less then two months later to learn that your child has relapsed. Please pray for Hunter and her family—Hunter has relapsed with her ALL. (Thanks to “a friend.”)

*~* Site for Hunter *~*

A NOTE ON GRIEF

When I was still attending Wooddale, and months after I had given my faith story, I ran into one of the pastors on a Sunday and he told me that a mother had listened to my faith story and her very young child had been with her. Later on that day, the young child asked her mother Gabrielle’s question: Would she be there?

I never thought about Gabrielle’s journey touching other young children but I guess it has.

To this day I still pray that Gabrielle’s story bring others to Jesus. And yet while it is her story all the Glory belongs to God!!

OUR THANKS

Thank you for visiting our site and thank you for so many kindnesses over the years.

In His Arms,
The Paquette's: Monica, John, Aubrey, Saint Gabrielle, and Noah

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Friday, March 17, 2006 6:11 PM CST

Noah Knows Holy!

”…Holy, holy, holy, is the LORD of hosts…” (Isaiah 6:3)

During a sermon several weeks ago our pastor was talking about the holiness of God and mentioned that the only “tripleness” in the Bible is “Holy, Holy, Holy.” So later on that day when we were all eating lunch I whispered the answer in Aubrey’s ear and quizzed John about what was the only “tripleness” in the Bible. I wasn’t paying attention to Noah but eventually could hear him singing, without any prompting from us, “We cry holy…we cry holy…we cry holy…”

John still didn’t get the answer until we told him but Aubrey and I sure got a kick out of Noah’s unintended hint. He must have remembered it from one of our Michael W. Smith CDs.

Oh, if only our family could be as holy as we are called to be.

AUBREY’S UPDATES

Her bruises are getting better again.

PRAYERS FOR…

Please continue to pray for Ashleigh and her family.

Site for Ashleigh

A NOTE ON GRIEF

I’ve said it before but I think so many always forget.

I love my children far more than my own life. I love my children far, far more than life itself (this temporary earthly life).

That is why our grief for the child now gone runs so deep and is so enduring.

OUR THANKS

Thank you for visiting Gabbie’s site. Thank you for praying for or visiting the sites for other children.
Have a great weekend!

Jesus Christ is the only way. There is no other way and no other life.

In His Arms,
The Paquette's: Monica, John, Aubrey, Saint Gabrielle, and Noah

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Monday, March 13, 2006 8:52 AM CST

SNOW DAY FOR THE PAQUETTE'S!!!

Our Lady of Peace is closed so I am taking a vacation day. Aubrey and Noah are very excited as I have told them we are going to go out and play in the snow. After all, my children live in the great northern state of Minnesota and snow is quite a novelty.

We are surrounded and cloaked in brilliant white snow...it's very beautiful.

AND THE HEAVENS DECLARE HIS GLORY!!

I took Aubrey, Noah, and a neighbor girl to the fund raiser for the Olson family. It was at "Jump-n-Spot," and the kids had a blast. It had eight very large inflatables—so large that sometimes I couldn't even see Aubrey and Greta even though I always knew which inflatable they were in.

Noah was a little hesitant and I had to go in, over and over and over, one of the slide inflatables with him—I worked up more of a sweat then I do running! I didn't see the Olson family but based on their updated journal entry I think they were there.

The neighbor girl joined us for dinner and cake and ice-cream for Noah's birthday. It was very loud good to watch Noah and the girls have such a great time.

PRAYERS FOR…

Please keep praying.

Ashleigh's Site

And prayers for our friends, the Nielsen's, as they endure another anniversary.

Steven's Site

A NOTE ON GRIEF

At Sunday's fundraiser I bought a ticket for you, Gabbie. Tickets for you and some of your friends never to be seen again in this life.

OUR THANKS

Thank you for visiting Gabbie's site. Enjoy the rare snowstorm.

In His Arms,
The Paquette's: Monica, John, Aubrey, Saint Gabrielle, and Noah

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Friday, March 10, 2006 6:16 PM CST

AUBREY’S UPDATES

She’s bruising a lot again.

PRAYERS FOR…

I am taking Aubrey and Noah on Sunday (Noah’s b-day!!) to one of the fundraiser’s for the Olson family. This is the family that lost a young boy, Drew, to Alpers, and now their little baby girl, McKenna, also has Alpers. Please pray for them.

Site for Drew & McKenna

And please continue your prayers for sweet Ashleigh and her family.

Site for Ashleigh

OUR THANKS

Thank you for visiting Gabbie’s site today. Have a wonderful weekend.

For God so loved the world,
He gave His only Son,
To die on Calv'ry's tree,
From sin to set me free;
Some day He's coming back -
What glory that will be!
Wonderful His love to me.
(Author unknown)

In His Arms,
The Paquette's: Monica, John, Aubrey, Saint Gabrielle, and Noah

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Wednesday, March 8, 2006 8:27 AM CST

NO ONE DECLARED RIGHTEOUS

Most of us are nothing like Adolph Hitler yet most of us are nothing like Mother Teresa. But we will be judged not against Hitler and not against Mother Teresa but against the PERFECT righteousness of God.

Therefore no one will be declared righteous in his sight be observing the law; rather, through the law we become conscious of sin. Romans 3:20

What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord! Romans 7:25

Thank you, Jesus!

SHE LEFT US 1,385 DAYS AGO; OUR LIVES TODAY

We will be celebrating Noah's third birthday this weekend! Aubrey, still Offrey to Noah, has him all worked up and he is quite excited. Last night I mentioned that in a few weeks we might all go as a family to watch the high school boys' finals for the state basketball tournaments and he ran around jumping up and down yelling how "cited" he was.

AUBREY’S UPDATES

She only has one bruise right now but I know it's from the ITP because she didn't recall how she got it. If I had such a deep bruise, I would remember how I got it!

PRAYERS FOR…

Even John sat with me one night as we read the history of Ashleigh's battle against neuroblastoma. He cannot believe everything she has been through either. Please pray for Ashleigh and her family.

Ashleigh's Site

A NOTE ON GRIEF

I removed one of the pictures of the children of Niger's famine. I cannot bring myself to remove the remaining pictures because they remind me so much of Gabbie, especially the one with the child sitting up.

Images of Gabbie flash through my mind all the time and so often she is just sitting, sitting, and sitting in her hospital bed. She was always sitting with solemn wide eyes ever observing never complaining.

She is deeply and forever missed. But she has been fully rescued now from death.

OUR THANKS

Thanks again for the prayers for my mother. The pathology reports were good and they believe they got all the cancer.

Have a very wonderful day and thanks for visiting Gabbie's site.

In His Arms,
The Paquette's: Monica, John, Aubrey, Saint Gabrielle, and Noah

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Friday, March 3, 2006 10:08 AM CST

AUBREY'S UPDATES

I’m home this morning with Aubrey as she started to throw up in the middle of the night. Hopefully it will not last long….….

PRAYERS FOR…

Please continue to pray for Ashleigh and her family. If you can, read the introduction on the main page that chronicles all of Ashleigh's treatment. Neuroblastoma is already a very wicked cancer and it has been particularly harsh on little Ashleigh.

There are a lot of pictures of Ashleigh on the main page and the one that makes me cry almost every time is one where she has her arms and hands raised with a very happy expression at Christmas time.

Site for Ashleigh

A NOTE ON GRIEF

"Small coffins are placed in the ground, but more than the body is buried. Parents also bury all the hopes and dreams they had for those children….dusty toy dogs and rusty toy soldiers pale before the glories of heaven, but they are present and profound losses just the same." ~ James W. Bruce III, From Grief to Glory

OUR THANKS

Thanks for visiting Gabbie's site today. Have a good weekend.

There are no tears in heaven. Please look to the one and only true and living Savior who can bring you to the place where sorrow is no more.

In His Arms,
The Paquette's: Monica, John, Aubrey, Saint Gabrielle, and Noah

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Monday, February 27, 2006 6:09 PM CST

HE GATHERS THEM

One of my dear friends who is almost upon another birthday anniversary without her only child recently sent me a link to a Charles Spurgeon sermon on the departure of loved ones.

“…Why this removal of the very best when we so much need the noblest examples? I am bowed down, and could best express myself in a flood of tears as I survey the line of graves so newly digged; but I restrain myself from so carnal a mode of regarding the matter, and look upon it in a clearer light. The Master is gathering the ripest of his fruit, and well doth he deserve them. His own dear hand is putting his apples of gold into his baskets of silver; and as we see that it is the Lord, we are bewildered no longer. His word, as it comes before us in the text, calms and quiets our spirits. It dries our tears, and calls us to rejoicing as we hear our heavenly Bridegroom praying, "Father, I will that they also, whom thou hast given me, be with me where I am." We understand why the dearest and best are going. We see in whose hand is held the magnet which attracts them to the skies. One by one they must depart from this lowland country, to dwell above, in the palace of the King, for Jesus is drawing them to himself. Our dear babes go home because "he gathereth the lambs with his arm and carrieth them in his bosom;" and our ripe saints go home because the Beloved is come into his garden to gather lilies. These words of our Lord Jesus explain the continual home-going; they are the answer to the riddle which we call death….” ~ Charles H. Spurgeon, March 21, 1886, Why They Leave Us

PRAYERS FOR…

Please pray for my friends who miss their beautiful daughter, Anna, so very much.

Galations 5 Site for Anna

OUR THANKS

Thank you for visiting Gabbie’s site today.

Thank you for the prayers for my mother. Aubrey and I went to visit her at the hospital on Saturday morning—less than 24 hours after surgery—and she shocked us by announcing that she was going home later that day!! Pathology reports are not ready of course but I believe the doctors are quite hopeful that all the cancer was removed.

In His Arms,
The Paquette's: Monica, John, Aubrey, Saint Gabrielle, and Noah

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Friday, February 24, 2006 8:31 AM CST

PREPARED

But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect…. (1 Peter 3:15)

On the night I ran last week it was very cold and dark so few people were out and about. So I was a little surprised when I heard someone calling out to me. I stopped running and watched two young men approach me (I knew they were safe…I've always had a very good instinct). One of them started to laugh and mentioned that "no way would a car hit me" as I was so reflective. I looked down at my running vest and mentioned that my husband makes me wear it.

And before either of them could speak again I knew who they were. They were Mormons. We briefly chatted and I told them that I had accepted the free gift of eternal life from Jesus. Yet obviously I wasn't very convincing as they still wanted to come visit and tell me about the Book of Mormon, which I politely refused.

We are supposed to be prepared but I was totally unprepared as to what to say to two young men braving the cold and the dark and, probably, uninterested people as they went door to door with such sincerity.

How come we evangelicals don't do that?

PRAYERS FOR…

My friend Susan left a message in the guest book about a family on KARE 11. The Olson family from Minnesota has lost a son to Alpers disease and now their youngest daughter also has Alpers.
Please pray for them.

Site for Drew and McKenna

And remember prayers for Ashleigh and her family.

Site for Ashleigh

OUR THANKS

Thank you to those who gave us Baby Charlie's Web site! Thank you for the prayers for my mother who is having her surgery today.

Have a very good weekend and thank you for visiting Gabbie's site.

In His Arms,
The Paquette's: Monica, John, Aubrey, Saint Gabrielle, and Noah

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Tuesday, February 21, 2006 8:30 AM CST

UPDATE: PRAY FOR ASHLEIGH

Not too long ago I mentioned a little girl named Ashleigh battling neuroblastoma. Almost all the pictures on the site depict a very happy and smiling child. But now Ashleigh's pain is beyond words and her parents are also suffering beyond words. Please, please pray for Ashleigh and her family.

Site for Ashleigh

SHE LEFT US 1370 DAYS AGO; OUR LIVES TODAY MESSAGE

We had a good weekend even though both Aubrey and Noah are battling bad colds. John and I split our workdays yesterday because Noah was running a fever but I think he can go to daycare today.

Aubrey did not have school yesterday and so in the morning she actually wanted Noah to have a fever so that she could stay home with us as we keep our kids home if they have fevers. But Noah didn't have a fever initially so as I was getting to work I listened to Aubrey's sobbing as she does not like to go to daycare. (It's a very good daycare but there is no one there her age.) I told her I wanted to stay home too and that I was saving my vacation days to spend with her in the summer. Still, sobbing, sobbing, and more sobbing. I cried too. But she eventually cheered up and was only there a few hours because then Noah did develop a fever.

PRAYERS FOR…

The Nuckolls family lost a very beautiful and very precious little girl a little over a year ago. Please visit their Web site for Star….another child has touched my heart.

Star Nuckolls' Site

A NOTE ON GRIEF

"Life is a hard fight, a struggle, a wrestling with the principle of evil, hand to hand, foot to foot. Every inch of the way is disputed. But the night is given us to take breath and to pray, to drink deep at the fountain of power. The day, to use the strength that has been given us, to go forth to work with it till the evening." ~ Florence Nightingale

Missing Gabrielle very much every single step of the way and wrestling the temptations that seem never to have ceased since she took her last breath. Without Him, I would not even be standing.

OUR THANKS

Thank you for visiting Gabbie's site and thank you for the prayers for my mother and friend.

Did anyone see the Nightline special last night? About baby Charlie? If you know the Web site address for Charlie, please share with us!

In His Arms,
The Paquette's: Monica, John, Aubrey, Saint Gabrielle, and Noah

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Friday, February 17, 2006 8:39 AM CST

PEACE FROM ABOVE IN CONFUSED WORLD

Has anyone else been following the stories about avian flu? For over six months I've followed a "flu wiki" and there are people in this country, and outside this country, who have stockpiled a year's supply food and water in case of a pandemic.

There is nothing wrong with preparing but to stockpile a year's worth of provisions is too daunting for me. I don't know one single person who is preparing for a possible pandemic even though the experts say it's not an "if," but rather "when." So, I've made a few, tiny, insignificant preparations.

I used to be the type of person that would be panicking every day about avian flu. I think it can and will happen. I would be devastated if I lost my husband or another child or both my children. But yet I do sleep at night…because He will always be in control.

And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:7)

AUBREY’S UPDATES

Aubrey only has a few bruises this week. OLP called me at work this week because Aubrey bumped her mouth and she bled on her lips and where a tooth is coming in. OLP has been so good about reporting every little incident—fortunately I get most of the calls as opposed to John! I just thank them and get back to work but John worries about every drop of blood. And rightly so, after all he has been through.

PRAYERS FOR…

One of my friends is having her surgery for cancer next week so please pray for her.

My mother is having a double mastectomy next Friday the 24th. Please pray for peace and comfort.

OUR THANKS

Have a good weekend! If you are here in Minnesota make sure to bundle up as we were so very spoiled until now. Brrrr.

Hug your children….listen to your children….praise your children when they are good.

Thanks for all your support.

In His Arms,
The Paquette's: Monica, John, Aubrey, Saint Gabrielle, and Noah

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Monday, February 13, 2006 8:40 AM CST

FREE

A friend once told me that maybe God allowed Gabbie to die because perhaps later in life she would have rejected Jesus Christ. I thought about that one a lot but decided God's effectual call to whomever He wants to save would have won Gabbie over, regardless.

While the full purpose will never be revealed in this life, the overarching purpose for her death is because God loved her.

Death, being the wages of sin, why are not the righteous delivered from death, seeing all their sins are forgiven in Christ? The righteous shall be delivered from death itself at the last day, and even in death are delivered from the sting and curse of it; so that, although they die, yet it is out of God's love, to free them perfectly from sin and misery, and to make them capable of further communion with Christ in glory, which then enter upon. Westminster Larger Catechism, 85

Aubrey likes the perfume inserts that come in Sunday's paper. Some of you may have seen this one if you get the Star-Tribune. I showed it to Aubrey and asked her if it reminded her of a story. She took two seconds and then replied, "Adam and Eve." The advertisement was clearly a reference to Adam and Eve. It was a seductive head shot of a man and a woman and she was holding an apple and had taken a bite. The perfume, with male and female versions, was called Be Delicious.

Today, sin is up on a pedestal as if it is to be desired.

Gabrielle is free. Aubrey and Noah are not.

PRAYERS FOR…

Someone who was following Gabbie's site even as far back as the illness once noticed a picture that I put on the site included a friend she knew from college. Her friend turned out to be my sister, Nancy. And now my supportive friend's little boy is getting ready to have extensive foot surgery and they have set up a CB site for him. I guess the surgery has been put off because Noah has strep throat. If you can, please visit the site for little Noah.

Noah's Site

OUR THANKS

We hope you all had a great weekend! Have a blessed day.

In His Arms,
The Paquette's: Monica, John, Aubrey, Saint Gabrielle, and Noah

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Thursday, February 9, 2006 8:31 AM CST

THE LAWS OF SUFFERING: LAW FIVE

Law Five: It is not God's will that everyone be healed in this life.

During Gabbie's illness I fell into the trap known as Word of Faith (it has many other names). I thought my faith could heal Gabbie. And as Chuck Swindoll points out, the verse most often cited for faith-healing is By His scourging we are healed. (Isaiah 53:5b)

"'There is healing in Christ's atonement!' they shout. Of course there is! But what kind? Check the context, O shouter. By His scourging we are spiritually healed. The whole flow of thought in the fifty-third chapter [of Isaiah] has to do with the inner, spiritual needs of the man and Christ's priceless provision. That is why He was wounded and bruised. That is why He died…not to heal sick people but to give life to dead ones." Charles R. Swindoll, Come Before Winter, And Share My Hope

I remember I read all kinds of Word of Faith materials and saw the scourging verse many, many times. But strangely I never relied on that verse because deep down I already knew that the healing in that verse referred to spiritual healing.

Thank you, Jesus.

PRAYERS FOR…

Parents of children who disappear. Another young woman (in Florida) is missing. John and I have both mentioned how much greater the despair would be...to not know. It's so hard to watch them suffer but it is, I'm sure, even harder to imagine the unthinkable.

A NOTE ON GRIEF

We were not made to handle loss. Adam and Eve were made to enjoy life without sickness or sin.

OUR THANKS

Thank you for visiting Gabbie's site today. Have a great weekend.

God is our salvation!!

In His Arms,
The Paquette's: Monica, John, Aubrey, Saint Gabrielle, and Noah

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Tuesday, February 7, 2006 8:27 AM CST

THE CHRISTIAN'S PAIN

It is expected that when a child dies, the Christian will have less pain than a non-believer. Our faith does give us a different perspective (and very much hope) but not always in the way that others would believe.

"There are many advantages to being a Christian, but absence of pain is not one of them. Believers are called to be people of godly integrity who honestly face the realities of living in a sin-stained world, in sin-infected bodies, and in sin-marred relationships. Experiencing pain is one of those harsh realities. If anything, the Christian's pain is intensified because he knows better then anyone else how different things might have been if it were not for sin. He also knows how different things someday will be. It is that hope of a better day that makes the bitter tears of today bearable." Tim Jackson, How Can I Live With My Loss?

God sovereignly ordained, but did not author, Gabrielle's cancer and untimely death. But that was not His original plan for her. Gabrielle was meant to live a long, long life. But only a God like our God can take this tragedy and in eternity it will be for good. Very good, in fact.

SHE LEFT US 1,356 DAYS AGO; OUR LIVES TODAY

I have been paying for a family membership at the YMCA for several years but John rarely if ever goes. But I am trying to get us to do more things as a family and so we all went on Saturday. Noah is the only one without a card so we had his picture taken, or tried to at least. He is so defiant and I am waiting for the day that his strong-will can be put to good use! I still worry, however, that his behavior is a little out of control.

AUBREY’S UPDATES

Aubrey has very few bruises right now but she is having nosebleeds. Never mind the six-month goal, I think we are now on track for a year-long watch process. But she is so healthy, otherwise, and we can be nothing but thankful!

A NOTE ON GRIEF

Within days or weeks after one of my friends lost her child, her mother finally observed and remarked that there was nothing she could do to ease the grief.

That was so understanding but also so very blessedly humble.

(She didn't mean that people cannot help but that no one can change our pain.)

OUR THANKS

We thank you for the continued visits to Gabrielle's site. Thank you for so many, many kindnesses.

In His Arms,
The Paquette's: Monica, John, Aubrey, Saint Gabrielle, and Noah

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Thursday, February 2, 2006 6:17 PM CST

SUFFERING: LAW TWO

Here is Charles Swindoll’s second law on suffering. Little children all over the world who suffer needlessly and die have never sinned. That can be so hard to understand but we do live in a fallen world.

Law Two: Original sin introduced suffering, illness, and death the human race (Romans 5:12b).

Had there never been the presence of original sin in the Garden of Eden, mankind would never have known sickness or death. In the broadest sense of the word, all sickness and suffering today are the result of original sin. Literally, the Lord told Adam "in the day that you eat from it, dying you will die." (Genesis 2:17), Charles Swindoll, Come Before Winter and Share my Hope

PRAYERS FOR…

Please pray for the Thomas family. Christi has been battling neuroblastoma for a long, long time and it is turning into a tough battle.

Site for Christi

Also, the doctors found more cancer in my mom and so things have changed. She will need much more invasive surgery but the doctor is very hopeful that the surgery will eliminate all the cancer.

OUR THANKS

We hope you all have a great weekend. Enjoy the warm weather…it’s supposed to get cold next week.

Thank you for all your prayers!

In His Arms,
The Paquette's: Monica, John, Aubrey, Saint Gabrielle, and Noah

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Monday, January 30, 2006 8:37 AM CST

LAW FOUR OF FIVE SUFFERING LAWS

I have a new devotional by Chuck Swindoll and he outlines five laws of suffering. Gabrielle fits into more than one, and I will share all five soon, but here is Law Four:

Sometimes there is no relationship between personal sins and sickness.

Some are born with afflictions—suffering before they ever reach the age of committing sins (John 9:1-3; Acts 3:1-2). Others, like Job (1:1-5), are living upright lives when suffering occurs. Jesus Himself "sympathizes with our weaknesses" (Hebrews 4:15) rather than rebuking us because we have sinned. Remember, "although He was a Son, He learned obedience from the things which He suffered" (Hebrews 5:8). Jesus never committed sins, yet He suffered. Charles R. Swindoll, Come Before Winter and Share My Hope

SHE LEFT US 1348 DAYS AGO; OUR LIVES TODAY

We had a good weekend with the kids—Noah does always test us, however. Poor Noah is still referred to as a girl almost every single weekend and usually by several people. I've decided that so many toddler boys have their hair shaved that people simply assume Noah is a girl the minute they see a head of hair.

We were also received good news on my mother's breast cancer. She had surgery last week and we were blessed to find out that it most likely has not spread to lymph nodes and she now will just need radiation. This is the best possible outcome for breast cancer.

AUBREY’S UPDATES

Aubrey has lots of bruising and nose bleeds. We are still hoping this is temporary.

PRAYERS FOR…

Please pray for this precious little girl, Ashleigh, and her family. Little Ashleigh is facing a very tough battle with neuroblastoma. Her little body has been through so very much and I wept the first time I went through some of their journal entries.

Ashleigh's Site

One of my supportive friends has recently been diagnosed with cancer. She has helped so many on CaringBridge so please pray for strength and healing for her and her family.

OUR THANKS

Thanks for visiting!! Thanks for all your prayers. He is always there and He is always Good!

In His Arms,
The Paquette's: Monica, John, Aubrey, Saint Gabrielle, and Noah

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Wednesday, January 25, 2006 6:24 PM CST

HE DIED FOR US BECAUSE HE VALUES WHAT HE MADE

"You made him a little lower than the heavenly beings and crowned him with glory and honor. You made him ruler over the works of your hands; put everything under his feet" (Psalm 8:5-6)

A guest book signer kindly pointed out that Aubrey may be too young to know about abortion. I trust our pastor and he talked about the anniversary of Roe v. Wade and abortion before the children were dismissed to children's church.

God values all human life and we want our children to know that but to also understand that the many in the world will teach them the opposite. We do not share graphic details with Aubrey so she is not fearful or judgmental. She just knows it is wrong.

I wonder if the guestbook signer knows that even some Girl Scout Councils in the United States have ties to Planned Parenthood. If any of you have daughters involved in Girl Scouts you might want to do some research on the Internet to find out if your Council supports PP.

A KINDLY SOUL…

Tanja Theriault has set up a Web site called Loyal Lambs and she profiles numerous children, those fighting disease and those who have gone on to Jesus. She set up a page in memory of Gabrielle and may even try to write a song that includes “Will you be dere?”

Loyal Angel Lambs

OUR THANKS

Thank you so much, Tanja! Thanks to all who still come visit our site!

In His Arms,
The Paquette's: Monica, John, Aubrey, Saint Gabrielle, and Noah

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Monday, January 23, 2006 8:35 AM CST

IN MEMORY OF THE littlest LOST LIVES

Yesterday was the 33rd anniversary of Roe v. Wade. How many more of God's beautiful children will bleed into the already flowing river of blood before God's longsuffering patience ends?

"You formed my inmost being; you knit me in my mother's womb. I praise you, so wonderfully you made me; wonderful are your works!..." (Psalm 139:13-14)

Those children are with God and I always wonder, what does He say to them?

AUBREY’S UPDATES

Aubrey's bruising is picking up a tiny bit but I remain hopeful as we approach the six-month mark. Actually, I've already accepted we might have to watch this for a year before deciding whether she will have it for the rest of her life.

Aubrey surprised me yesterday when we were driving home from church. She had picked up on the Pastor's comments on abortion and all the innocent lives lost. She mentioned to me that two of her friends have "American Girl" dolls and how she told them that American Girl supports abortion and so she cannot have one. All we did was tell Aubrey that we will not support American Girl and then briefly told her why.

I'm not sure if everyone knows this, but American Girl does (or did) fund pro-abortion groups. How strange that they would support the very actions that are reducing their income base.

PRAYERS FOR…

Please pray for a family member who will be having surgery on Thursday due to a recent cancer diagnosis. (Not everyone knows so I cannot share other details.)

OUR THANKS

Thank you for visiting Gabbie's site today. We thank God for all those who have helped us on this journey!!

In His Arms,
The Paquette's: Monica, John, Aubrey, Saint Gabrielle, and Noah

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Tuesday, January 17, 2006 6:09 PM CST

PRAISING GOD WITH BROKEN HEARTS

I was just commenting to another grieving mother today that sometimes I think about God’s purpose in Gabbie’s untimely death and how if I knew His purpose I would truly faint. And so how appropriate…a nugget from Oswald Chambers!

The first thing God does is get us grounded on strong reality and truth. He does this until our cares for ourselves individually have been brought into submission to His way for the purpose of His redemption. Why shouldn’t we experience heartbreak? Through those doorways God is opening up ways of fellowship with His Son. Most of us collapse at the first grip of pain. We sit down at the door of God’s purpose and enter a slow death through self-pity. And all the so-called Christian sympathy of others helps us to our deathbed. But God will not. He comes with the grip of the pierced hand of His Son, as if to say, "Enter into fellowship with Me; arise and shine." If God can accomplish His purposes in this world through a broken heart, then why not thank Him for breaking yours? Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest
SHE LEFT US 1,342 DAYS AGO; OUR LIVES TODAY

For some reason, West chose to give us MLK as a holiday and so Aubrey and I went to Minneapolis Children’s to donate some stamping supplies. The bag I carried was so heavy that the Child Life Specialist asked me if I was giving up stamping and, no I am not…but I did have that much stuff! It wasn’t all stamping supplies but most of it was—I’m just glad someone else can use it.

Aubrey and I then went to visit my friend Cathy Clyde. We had a nice visit but their oldest daughter, Mary, was in terrible pain from teething and we felt so sorry for her. Baby Sarah is growing so fast and I was shocked (I haven’t seen her since she was only a day or two) at how big and chunky she has become!

Noah is doing fine…defiant as ever and testing our patience every day. Although I do hope to soon share some pictures of Noah while he was enamored with Aubrey’s pink shiny rain slicker. For some reason he likes to wear it and is oblivious to the “girly” color of pink!

AUBREY’S UPDATES

Holding steady, we think. A few ugly bruises and some nose bleeds but I’m guessing her counts have been much lower in the past.

OUR THANKS

Thank you for visiting Gabbie’s site today!! I keep forgetting to share a new link concerning Gabbie and several other children...will do next time, hopefully.

In His Arms,
The Paquette's: Monica, John, Aubrey, Saint Gabrielle, and Noah

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Wednesday, January 11, 2006 6:09 PM CST

PRAISE HIM ALWAYS

…The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away; may the name of the LORD be praised. (Job 1:21)

Job praised God in the midst of terrible suffering. We simply cannot begin to understand God’s ways when so many little children continue to die from cancer. We might ask why, but God is free to do His will for all His creation.

We are doing alright and we still remain healthy. I am doing something new this winter and about once a week I run outside after the kids go to bed. This means, of course, that I am out in the black of night after 9:00 p.m. but I have felt relatively safe and once I start I truly enjoy the quiet time in the winter night.

You have to do something otherwise winter in Minnesota can become quite dreary.

PRAYERS FOR…

The family of Dakota Rose…another precious child who left too early after battling neuroblastoma.

Site for Dakota Rose

OUR THANKS

As always, we can never thank you enough!!

In His Arms,
The Paquette's: Monica, John, Aubrey, Saint Gabrielle, and Noah

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Wednesday, January 4, 2006 6:12 PM CST

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

Christmas was very, very hard this year for me but as always we seem to survive.

Everyone remains healthy for now and we are so grateful for that. I took some time off last week while Aubrey was out of school and really enjoyed spending time with her. We went to the Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe even though some thought that the final intense battle scene would be too much for someone Aubrey’s age. I knew that the movie never showed actual blood during battle and felt Aubrey could handle it and sure enough she did.

All I can say is….what a great movie!! I might try to drag John to see it (he isn’t much for movies).

AUBREY’S UPDATES

She has enough bruising to indicate her counts are not normal but not so much that we are worried. However, we will soon be approaching the six-month mark, which some doctors use to determine whether the child will have to deal with ITP for the rest of their life. Other doctors suggest waiting one year so we shall see.

PRAYERS FOR…

All the families of the miners from West Virginia. I cannot imagine the utter heartbreak of celebrating good news and then only to learn the information was wrong.

OUR THANKS

Thank you so much for visiting Gabbie’s site!

In His Arms,
The Paquette's: Monica, John, Aubrey, Saint Gabrielle, and Noah

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Monday, December 19, 2005 4:19 PM CST

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL OF YOU!!

We will be offline for a bit and so wanted to wish all of you an early Merry Christmas. We are forever grateful for all your support. We hope you all have safe travels and that your are much blessed in 2006!

Others can try with might to remove Jesus from America but Jesus reigns over all forever and ever!

For to us a child is born,
to us a son is given,
and the government will be on his shoulders.
And he will be called
Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,
Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.

Of the increase of his government and peace
there will be no end.
He will reign on David's throne
and over his kingdom,
establishing and upholding it
with justice and righteousness
from that time on and forever.
The zeal of the LORD Almighty
will accomplish this.
(Isaiah 9:6-7)



*~*~* handstamped by Miss Aubrey Paquette!! *~*~*

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Saturday, December 17, 2005 10:06 PM CST

CHILDREN AND SANTA AND CHRISTIANITY

Ever wonder if the practice of Santa Claus runs contrary to Christian faith? We do Santa Claus for our children but I was always a bit uncomfortable with Santa until I read my latest issue of Touchstone (link to this wonderful magazine below). Excerpts below.

"When the Santa Claus tradition is practiced within the full context of the Christmas celebration, there is no danger of distrust or cynicism. To the contrary, a failure to cultivate children's imaginations with Fantasy makes them vulnerable to scientism and rationalism, and damages their ability to appreciate the mysteries of the faith….in the practice of the Santa Claus tradition, children are given a concrete experience of mystery, wonder, and happiness, which in some sense is a participation in and preparation for the mysteries of the faith.
.
.
.
The practice of Santa Clause tradition is more like Fantasy than Magic. Unlike Magic, the practice of the Santa Clause tradition does not desire 'power in this world,' nor 'domination of things and wills.' Rather, like Fantasy, it seeks to instill Secondary Belief in a Secondary World. Nor does Fantasy require that its Secondary World be completely separate from the Primary World." Nathan Schlueter, Yes, Aquinas, There is a Santa Claus, Touchstone, December 2005

OUR THANKS

Thank you for visiting! Hope you are all doing well.

In His Arms,
The Paquette's: Monica, John, Aubrey, Saint Gabrielle, and Noah

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Tuesday, December 13, 2005 6:03 PM CST

SHE LEFT US 1307 DAYS AGO; OUR LIVES TODAY

Everyone is healthy again! On Monday Noah went to daycare, John went back to work, Aubrey went back to school, and I started my new job.

John never listens to my advice about taking vitamins, exercising, and eating right but the doctor he saw recommended all three and even John is taking note. Hopefully it will not just be a passing phase.

AUBREY’S UPDATES

Aubrey is doing well but the situation at school with the threesome is still an issue and I did not get a very good report today in an e-mail from Aubrey’s teacher.

PRAYERS FOR…

Please pray for the Brion family as another beautiful and special child has entered heaven after battling neuroblastoma.

Site for Brooke

A NOTE ON GRIEF

For as much detail as some of us share about grief…few of us, if any at all, share with anyone the deepest and most painful parts of this journey.

OUR THANKS

Thank you for visiting!! We appreciate you so very much.

In His Arms,

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Saturday, December 10, 2005 11:44 AM CST

TURNING THE CORNER…

Aubrey missed school every day this week and even with a strong antibiotic she ran fevers every day.

But I had Aubrey to the doctor yesterday and she is finally on the mend. The doctor and I were both extremely shocked at how high Aubrey's platelets turned out to be. They were only 9,000 on Monday and yesterday they were 120,000. The doctor even had the lab run the test twice just to make sure the counts were really that high.

It turns out that both Aubrey and Noah were fighting bacterial and viral infections. John also went to the doctor and he was told he was fighting only a viral infection (but a pretty potent virus). John feels better today so we are cleaning the house, of course.

OUR THANKS

Thank you for visiting Gabbie's site today and thank you for thinking of us during the holidays.

I still follow so many CaringBridge sites and my heart aches for all the families who are losing children. Child after child after child after child….please think of those families during this season. We place all our hope in Jesus Christ who I know is embracing these children the second they die and our family is so thankful to have a Savior so loving that He came here to suffer and die so that we could live with Him in eternity.

In His Arms,
The Paquette's: Monica, John, Aubrey, Saint Gabrielle, and Noah

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Tuesday, December 6, 2005 5:44 PM CST

THE NAPPING HOUSE….

The Napping House is a cute children's book that I never tire of reading to Noah but it also somewhat describes our house at the moment.

Noah has continued to do well and he went back to daycare on Monday. However, I had to take Aubrey to the doctor on Monday and she also now has a severe infection. On top of that, her platelets are dangerously low at 9,000 (normal range is 150,000 to 450,000).

Aubrey's body is so busy fighting the infection that it's not bothering to make platelets. Now she too is on the strongest antibiotic that can be taken orally. The pediatrician called Dr. Bostrom to see what we should do and he says we have to take care of the infection first and foremost. The antibiotic will also kill the some of the good bacteria that help make platelets and so Aubrey is also taking vitamin K to help with clotting.

John is also sick…and hence we are the napping house. Everyone is sick but me.

OUR THANKS

Through all this, we still have much to be thankful for!! Have a good day and thanks for visiting!

In His Arms,
The Paquette's: Monica, John, Aubrey, Saint Gabrielle, and Noah

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Sunday, December 4, 2005 3:30 PM CST

HIS KINDNESS

"Are you facing a difficult person or circumstances that leads you to question the goodness of God? Perhaps you know someone who severely doubts the Lord's benevolence? While it is important during difficult times to be honest about what we are facing and why we are facing it, we must never deny the kindnesss of God. Take some time today to meditate on the Lord's goodness as revealed in Genesis 1 and remind another believer of His beneficience." TalbleTalk, January 2006

And God said "….let the dry land appear….Let the earth sprout vegetation, plants yielding seed, and fruit trees bearing fruit in which is their seed, each according to its kind, on the earth." And it was so….And God saw that it was good." (Genesis 1:9-12)

SHE LEFT US 1298 DAYS AGO; OUR LIVES TODAY

Finally…yesterday Noah turned the corner. Only after three trips to the pediatrician and one to Children's ER. Noah has an unidentified infection that was out of control. He had to get antibiotics via IV and shots on Thursday, Friday, and Saturday. And this was after he was already on the strongest antibiotic that our pediatricians can prescribe.

It’s scary to see the effects of antibiotics losing their effectiveness right before your very eyes. Noah was very, very sick and it's a relief to have our defiant and naughty boy back.

Now Aubrey is sick although I don't think it's the same sickness (but we just took her temp and it's 103). She fell asleep around dinner yesterday and threw up a couple of times this morning. So we are all pretty much hanging around home today.

A NOTE ON GRIEF

As horrible and awful as the memories are of Gabbie's suffering…we have never stopped believing in God's kindness.

OUR THANKS

Thank you for visiting!! Hope everyone had a great weekend.

In His Arms,
The Paquette's: Monica, John, Aubrey, Saint Gabrielle, and Noah

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Thursday, December 1, 2005 8:18 AM CST

HEAVENLY CITIZENSHIP

For our citizenship is in heaven, from which also we eagerly wait for a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ… (Philippians 3:20)

As the celebration of the birth of Christ comes nearer, the temptation to buy, buy, and buy some more should make us stop and remember that we are only passing through this life and nothing we buy here will ever remain.

This verse also helps when one is bogged down by the temporary problems of the day, week, month, or even year!

SHE LEFT US 1295 DAYS AGO; OUR LIVES TODAY

Noah was exposed to a sick cousin on Thanksgiving and Noah became ill Saturday afternoon.

Noah is still very, very sick. He has a double ear infection, a severe cough, inflamed tonsils, spiking fevers, and we are watching him for pneumonia. He is at times lifeless and other times he shrieks in pain—especially after horrible coughing attacks. We've been to the doctor and started antibiotics Tuesday night but so far we have seen no improvement.

He will be fine but it has been very hard to watch him suffer so much.

OUR THANKS

Thanks for visiting Gabbie's site today. We hope you are all healthy!

In His Arms,
The Paquette's: Monica, John, Aubrey, Saint Gabrielle, and Noah

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Tuesday, November 29, 2005 8:48 AM CST

OUR FEEL GOOD SOCIETY

Gabbie was not a "feel good" child -- she was very solemn and weighty and when I read this last night I thought of her.

"If indeed God loves us unconditionally and requires nothing of us, then obviously there is no need for us to do anything. But if God has judged us according to the righteousness of His perfect Law and has called the whole world before His tribunal to announce that we are all guilty, that none of us is righteous, that none of us seeks after God, that there is no fear of God before our eyes, that we are in the meantime, before the appointed day of judgment, treasuring up wrath against the day of wrath, then anybody in his right mind (and even those in their wrong mind) would have enough sense to cry out the same lamentation, [from Pilgrim's Progress] 'What shall I do?'" – Dr. R.C. Sproul, Tabletalk, January 2006

SHE LEFT US 1293 DAYS AGO; OUR LIVES TODAY

I am home this morning with Noah who has been sick since Saturday afternoon with fevers on and off and some vomiting. John and I switched morning and afternoon yesterday and will do the same today. While I can ride it out, I know if Noah is still not well by tonight John will have him at the doctor's office tomorrow.

AUBREY’S UPDATES

Aubrey is the same—we are way overdue for counts but since her bruises are holding steady I'm not overly anxious to have her counts taken. Sunday she hit her mouth on some furniture and while I was getting a washcloth I sent her to the bathroom. When I went in to the bathroom it was a bit unnerving as there was a lot of blood in the sink (I know it always looks like a lot more than what it is) and it was more than trickling out of her mouth. But we stemmed it within 15 minutes and all is well!

PRAYERS FOR…

Back in July I mentioned a little girl named Catie from Georgia who has medulloblastoma and she was doing well. While all of these children touch my heart, there are always those who for unexplained reasons impact me even more. Catie is one of them and I was very sad to learn yesterday that she might be facing relapse.

Please pray for Catie and her family. Please, God, an earthly healing for little Catie.

Catie's Site

A NOTE ON GRIEF

She carried so much. She hurt so much.

OUR THANKS

Thank you for visiting Gabbie's site today!! We hope everyone who had bad weather stayed safe.

In His Arms,
The Paquette's: Monica, John, Aubrey, Saint Gabrielle, and Noah

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Wednesday, November 23, 2005 12:13 AM CST

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!

We wish all of you a very safe and good Thanksgiving. All the wonderful blessings we have are from God and our family is thankful that He is always watching over us.

SHE LEFT US 1287 DAYS AGO; OUR LIVES TODAY

Gabbie’s birthday anniversary was very hard for both John and me but we are grateful for all the support. We appreciate all the cards and guest book entries and the Gideon Bible in Gabbie’s memory. A co-worker gave me beautiful roses and another co-worker left flowers anonymously…so now I don’t know who to thank but was very touched.

In the midst of all this I had to make a very hard decision at work and decided to accept a job offer from another department. I am leaving the department I have been in for 12 years and will start a brand new job in a newly created position in mid-December. I’m sure it will work out but I’m still in shock as this happened so quickly.

AUBREY’S UPDATES

Aubrey is doing fine but we are overdue on a check-up for her counts and she is starting to get very dark bruises again, along with little nosebleeds and bleeding near her gums.

This past Monday I volunteered at her class and I brought in stamps and ink for the kids to make Thanksgiving placemats. We now know that first graders cannot really handle the mechanics of stamping (I can still see some of the boys placing the stamp on the ink pad and then taking their fists and pounding on the stamp…after I told them that was not necessary!). But Aubrey was so excited to have me there and I’m glad I did it.

A NOTE ON GRIEF

We frequently see parents on these CaringBridge pages saying, “Hug your children!”

Yes, hug your children! But also listen to them…really listen to them. If you don’t listen to them now you never will.

Praise your children! Children need to know discipline but they also need to hear praise when warranted.

OUR THANKS

Thank you again for showering us with kindness. Please remember God wants everyone to turn to Him and fully trust that Jesus is the only way.

In His Arms,
The Paquette's: Monica, John, Aubrey, Saint Gabrielle, and Noah

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Wednesday, November 16, 2005 8:24 PM CST

DEAREST GABRIELLE

We miss you so very much and we all have a something to say to you.

FROM MOMMY

Thoughts of your beautiful soul are with me every day. Even now, three and one-half years later, it amazes me that I have survived but that is only because God is carrying me. But you know that, don’t you? Your short life was packed with suffering but now you are with the Holy One who carried you as you gracefully submitted to the cross.

I love you and miss you so very much…until that day when I can be “dere.”

FROM DADDY

There is a song that reminds me of you….

"He has chosen you to share his glory, You are the light of the world."

May He continue to cradle you in the palm of His hand.

FROM AUBREY

I miss you a lot. I hope you have a good life in heaven. Love Aubrey.

FROM NOAH (when we ask him where you are)

At home. In heaven. With Jesus.

OUR THANKS

From the bottom of our hearts, thank you to all those who have supported us on this journey in so many different ways.

Thank you, God, for hope eternal which overshadows this ever enduring painful loss. Please tell Gabrielle we miss her every single moment and our love for her only grows.

In His Arms,
The Paquette's: Monica, John, Aubrey, Saint Gabrielle, and Noah

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Friday, November 11, 2005 6:26 PM CST

LONGSUFFERING

The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you,not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance. (2 Peter 3:9)

SHE LEFT US 1275 DAYS AGO; OUR LIVES TODAY

It’s been a hectic and emotional week as we approach Gabbie’s birthday anniversary. On top of that I was presented with a choice at work, I guess you could call it a fork in the road. Either I stay in my present position and accept that the work will change dramatically or I take a new position in a new department. Blessed to have a choice but stressful nonetheless! But information technology is changing so fast and in some ways this is no surprise at all and I saw it coming.

John and I have another date night on Saturday!!!!

PRAYERS FOR…

Please pray for the Trimper family. I haven’t followed their story real close but have been to their CaringBridge site many times. All three of their beautiful children, Max, Maddie, and Sam, are battling Metachromatic Leukodystrophy, MLD.

Maddie died November 7.

Site for the Trimper Children

How long, oh LORD, will the innocent suffer and the wicked prosper?

He is longsuffering, however, because of His love and His wish that none should perish.

OUR THANKS

Thank you for thinking of and praying for the other families. God bless all of you.

In His Arms,
The Paquette's: Monica, John, Aubrey, Saint Gabrielle, and Noah

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Tuesday, November 8, 2005 6:33 PM CST

AUBREY’S UPDATES

We think Aubrey’s platelets are headed down again as she has started to bruise quite a bit. A few weeks ago she was almost bruise free. However, the bruises are not as dark and angry this time but I am not sure if it is their appearance or their number that is more indicative of platelet count. But at least she is feeling fine.

I have received one e-mail today and one yesterday from Aubrey’s teacher and other than a couple of reminders I guess she and her friends (the threesome) have behaved well this week.

I’m not sure if Aubrey was able to do her reading, but she wanted to bring her Children’s Bible to school today so she could read the story about King Solomon’s wise judgment. This is the true account of two women fighting over a child and the King’s solution is to offer that the child be divided in two—so then the real mother is revealed as she does not want her child to be killed. It’s not a short story and the text is straight from Revised King James so I am a little nervous for Aubrey.

For some reason, Aubrey is fascinated by this story and we have read it many, many times. So much so that when Aubrey asked me the question that follows the story, which is what did the King do to resolve the situation, I was reprimanded for answering incorrectly. I said that the King was going to cut the child in two and Aubrey said, “No, he said ‘Divide the living child….’”

PRAYERS FOR…

For the family of Michael Romano. Brave Michael recently died from neuroblastoma after a long 7-year battle.

Michael’s Site

A NOTE ON GRIEF

Most people understand that we love our children more than life itself…especially our own life. But I know that some people are quite surprised (and even a bit angry) when they see that we loved our child not just more than life but far, far, more than life.

God’s sunsets are still awesome but His greatest creations are His children. Gabbie is far, far, more beautiful than the most beautiful sunset of all time and so the sunsets I still eye in wonder are simply not the same.

OUR THANKS

Thank you for visiting and thank you for sharing your own lives. I am slipping again on e-mails and in signing other guest books but I am able to check the guest book entries and read each and every one. I think sometimes people are afraid to talk much of their children but actually I enjoy it when you share what has been going on with your families. * So please continue to share! * It helps me to know you more.

In His Arms,
The Paquette's: Monica, John, Aubrey, Saint Gabrielle, and Noah

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Friday, November 4, 2005 5:03 PM CST

INEXPRESSIBLE GLORY

And though you have not seen Him, you love Him, and though you do not see Him now, but believe in Him, you greatly rejoice with joy inexpressible and full of glory, obtaining as the outcome of your faith the salvation of your souls. (1 Peter 1:8-9)

SHE LEFT US 1268 DAYS AGO; OUR LIVES TODAY

We have a few things planned for our weekend but should be low-key…the best kind!

AUBREY’S UPDATES

Aubrey is starting to bruise again and today I got a call from OLP and there was an “accident” with her friends and she has a bruise and a blood blister. Sounds like a table leg was accidentally placed on her arm…just what those kids do I am not sure.

John and I also had a parent-teacher conference with Aubrey’s teacher this morning. She is doing well, especially with reading, academically. However, we were told that the social situation with the other two girls is only getting worse. The teachers are getting concerned that it will even start to impact their learning.

Aubrey’s teacher told us she has never seen anything like this for children this age. Apparently the three are so close and very intense that other children are always excluded. And even when it’s the just the three of them I guess they fight because we all know “three’s a crowd.” The teachers are going to try and keep them apart as much as possible and it was strongly recommended that we avoid play dates on the weekends.

A NOTE ON GRIEF

At the parent-teacher conference, I was looking through Aubrey’s papers and one of them was about “family.” There was a picture of Aubrey at the top and a line for how many brothers and sisters she had. Aubrey noted that she had 1 brother but she put down 0 for sisters.

I remember how Gabrielle would frequently remark about Aubrey, “She’s my sister.”

Gabrielle had the most beautiful soul and I have not seen or heard from her for 1,268 days. This pain is inexpressible.

OUR THANKS

Thank you for understanding that grief over the death of a child runs so very, very deep.

Have a great weekend! We thank God for we know that Gabbie is in His presence and that her joy is inexpressible!

In His Arms,
The Paquette's: Monica, John, Aubrey, Saint Gabrielle, and Noah

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Tuesday, November 1, 2005 1:48 PM CST

CRACKED GLASS

Last Friday a glass company came out to West to put in a new windshield on my car, which had a crack along the entire window for over a year. (The poor man drove me out to my car but actually had to help me locate my car buried in row after indistinguishable row in West’s massive parking lot.) I did not see the new windshield until it was time to go home and I was shocked as my view was new quite different. In a similar way, we also do not really see what is going on in the spiritual world even thought it fully surrounds us.

When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.

For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.(1 Corinthians 13:11,12)

“….Yet in our human predicament, we don't have first-hand information about the ‘neighborhood’ we inhabit. We see what Philip Yancey calls ‘rumors of another world,’ but we are trapped in our own world. We have never been on the other side of the darkened glass to observe for ourselves the cause of all the shadows we see. We could assume the shadows of the spiritual world (such as loneliness or joy) are just that—nothing but shadows. But we would do better to accept the testimony of one who has been on the outside, whose vision was not hindered. This is the reason revelation is so central to the Christian faith. We acknowledge that we see in part, but we know someone who has seen in full: Jesus Christ, the Son of God. We look to his testimony and the testimony of God's Word to make sense of the dim outlines we see all around us….” Betsy Childs, Through a Glass, Darkly, Reprinted by Ravi Zacharias International Ministries, Copyright 2005

SHE LEFT US 1265 DAYS AGO; OUR LIVES TODAY

We had beautiful weather this past weekend (which meant running around Lake Harriet on Saturday and a long stroller-ride with Noah on Sunday) and I did get the opportunity to open windows wide and air out our home.

John and I also had the opportunity to go out on a “date” Saturday night. We have just started using our neighbor’s daughter, Jackie, as a babysitter. Aubrey and Noah love her and I tease Noah constantly about his crush on Jackie…and other girls. By the way, it was nice to just have some adult conversation with my husband!

Jackie’s family is the family that introduced me to First Evangelical Free and they also bring Aubrey to “Girl’s Rock” on Wednesday evenings at the church.

PRAYERS FOR…

For Zachary Buckentine’s family as they lived through another anniversary of Zachary’s passing into eternal life.

Site for Zachary

For the Hamilton family who recently said good-bye to a precious little boy, Brant.

Site for Brant

A NOTE ON GRIEF

It’s that time of year and Gabbie is missed as much as ever.

OUR THANKS

Thank you for visiting, we appreciate all of you so very much!

In His Arms,
The Paquette's: Monica, John, Aubrey, Saint Gabrielle, and Noah

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Thursday, October 27, 2005 5:58 PM CDT

HEAVINESS OF SOUL

Ye are in heaviness. (1 Peter 1:6)

Believers were the audience to the verse above, spoken by Peter. Christians are sometimes expected to always be lighthearted and without heaviness but that is not always so.

“So, though they [the believers] were in heaviness, they were possessed of living faith. Their heaviness did not destroy their faith. Neither did it destroy their peace, which is inseparable from true, living faith…..In spite of their heaviness, they still retained a hope full of immortality.” John Wesley, Renew My Heart, Daily Devotional Insights

SHE LEFT US 1260 DAYS AGO; OUR LIVES TODAY

Finally…everyone now appears to be on the mend. John actually had a mild case of the flu in addition to the stomach bacteria and missed even more days of work this week. He must be feeling better as he went back to work today and I know he even went downtown in the middle of the day to attend a retirement party for his brother, Greg.

Noah had a raw bottom so I suspect he caught it and while I didn’t have all the symptoms I am pretty certain I also had a mild version of what Aubrey and John had. It’s supposed to be in the 50’s and 60’s this weekend so I will have windows wide open to air out our entire house!

AUBREY’S UPDATES

Aubrey has only a few bruises and seems to no longer be bothered by the stomach illness. Thank you, God!

PRAYERS FOR…

Our friends, the Clyde family, had another birthday anniversary without their precious Theresa Rose (how I love her huge brown eyes!!). Please pray for this faithful family.

Site for Thersa Rose

WELCOME BABY!!

The Ervin family (Saint Lukie) just had another little baby and they named her Autumn Rose. Please pray for years and years of health and pray for the whole family as Luke will always be deeply missed.

Luke Ervin’s Site

OUR THANKS

We appreciate all those who visit…even though I now only update twice a week. Hope everyone has a great weekend and can get outside and enjoy our autumn.

He is the only way, the only truth, and the only life!!!

In His Arms,
The Paquette's: Monica, John, Aubrey, Saint Gabrielle, and Noah

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Monday, October 24, 2005 6:18 PM CDT

HIS WORD WILL REMAIN

For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ: for it is the power of God unto salvation to every one that believeth; to the Jew first, and also to the Greek. (Romans 1:16)

Today Albert Mohler reported that a university in London (Edinburgh) has decided that the Bible is offensive to some of its students and they are attempting to ban the Bible from residence halls. Some of America’s colleges and universities are probably not too far behind.

But no matter, His Word will ever remain!

SHE LEFT US 1257 DAYS AGO; OUR LIVES TODAY

John wasn’t feeling too bad this weekend so I did get out Saturday morning and met up with Janine Nielsen (Steven’s mom) at a rubber stamp convention. And later on, because we had canceled a play date for Aubrey, I took her to a movie, Wallace & Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit. If you don’t know what it is about, don’t let the title scare you. It is a G-rated claymation that is mostly not offensive. There were a couple slaps at Christianity but Aubrey would not have noticed and Aubrey is already aware that hostility towards Christianity is a reality, however sad.

AUBREY’S UPDATES

Aubrey is better but John is still trying to get over this bug. We may never know what caused these strange symptoms. The doctors wanted to test Aubrey for two other infections but when I looked them up on the Internet one had to do with fish (which we rarely if ever eat) and the other was caused by eating under-cooked pork or handling raw chitlins. We never eat chitlins and the meat I serve my family is usually hardened to a crisp and never under-cooked!

I think by the end of the week we will be past all of this. Thank you for your prayers!

PRAYERS FOR…

Children who starve. Children who battle cancer. Children who suffer. The most unfair tragedies in life are, for the most part, all about the children.

A NOTE ON GRIEF

Missing our Gabrielle very, very much.

OUR THANKS

Thank you for visiting Gabbie’s site today!

In His Arms,
The Paquette's: Monica, John, Aubrey, Saint Gabrielle, and Noah

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Friday, October 21, 2005 3:30 PM CDT

AUBREY’S UPDATES

We are still very much in the dark on Aubrey’s condition. The only thing new is that the labs by both the hospital and our pediatricians show nothing. And now John is having some of the same symptoms of cramping and passing blood.

John just called me at work and said that the doctors want Aubrey to see a GI and she might have to be scoped. I said NO, NO, NO!

While I feel a bit mean pushing this on John, it would be much better for him to have an invasive (and uncomfortable) procedure rather than Aubrey. How bizarre to have both a child and an adult show the same symptoms yet suggest the “procedure” be done on the child. Maybe all my frustration over what Gabbie endured is kicking in….

OUR THANKS

We hope you all have a safe weekend and hope your homes are much healthier than our home!!

We know God is watching and in control and we are thankful for that.

I also know that there is much horrible and unbelievable suffering in other parts of the world and I will never forget that and the other children are forever on my mind.

In His Arms,
The Paquette's: Monica, John, Aubrey, Saint Gabrielle, and Noah

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Tuesday, October 18, 2005 1:45 PM CDT

AUBREY’S UPDATES

Good news…bad news.

Aubrey’s birthday party was fine but I am so glad that Auntie Sarah was there to help us entertain the girls. I still do not understand why children seem to treat all activities as some type of major race. We had a scavenger hunt and I followed them from point to point but was running almost the entire time!! Other games were also played at a breathless pace.

On Sunday afternoon Aubrey and I spent several hours at Children’s ER because she had stomach pains and blood in her stools. Her platelet counts are rising and are now 52,000. However, that means that ITP is probably not the cause of her other bleeding. It would have been more reassuring to know it was ITP-related rather than now facing more unknowns.

We were sent home with no instructions other than to provide a sample for the lab, which we did on Monday. Aubrey has continued to pass blood and complains and cries that she is also experiencing cramping. So this afternoon our pediatrician’s office told us we needed her to be seen right away and John and Aubrey are there now as I type this.

I know God is in control but this is all causing so much worry and tension in our home. Please pray for Aubrey.

OUR THANKS

Thank you for visiting Gabbie’s site today. We appreciate all of you!

In His Arms,
The Paquette's: Monica, John, Aubrey, Saint Gabrielle, and Noah

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Friday, October 14, 2005 4:44 PM CDT

OUR CHRISTIAN ILLITERACY

Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth. (2 Timothy 2:15)

Albert Mohler has an article on his Web site on the biblical illiteracy of Americans….Christian Americans!Fewer than half of all adults can name the four gospels. Many Christians cannot identify more than two or three of the disciples. According to data from the Barna Research Group, 60 percent of Americans can't name even five of the Ten Commandments…. Multiple surveys reveal the problem in stark terms. According to 82 percent of Americans, "God helps those who help themselves," is a Bible verse. Those identified as born-again Christians did better--by one percent. A majority of adults think the Bible teaches that the most important purpose in life is taking care of one's family. Albert Mohler, The Scandal of Biblical Illiteracy: It's Our ProblemAUBREY’S UPDATES

A little early.... HAPPY 7TH BIRTHDAY MISS AUBREY!!!

Aubrey will be 7 on Monday and tomorrow (Saturday) we are having an old-fashioned birthday party in our home with some of her friends and classmates. We will only do this once so hope all goes well! Auntie Sarah is helping out, with much gratitude from me.

We still do not have an appointment to have her counts taken because the regular pediatrician must get an order from the specialist. Guess if we hadn’t already lived through pediatric cancer we would be hounding our pediatrician for an appointmen.

PRAYERS FOR…

Please pray for the Musyl family who recently lost their little precious Madison to neuroblastoma.

Madison’s Site

OUR THANKS

Thanks for visiting Gabbie’s site today!! Have a great weekend.

Please remember that Jesus is the only way, the only truth, and the only life!

In His Arms,
The Paquette's: Monica, John, Aubrey, Saint Gabrielle, and Noah

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Tuesday, October 11, 2005 5:49 PM CDT

SHE LEFT US 1244 DAYS AGO; OUR LIVES TODAY

We had a very busy weekend. The wedding was beautiful but I did not get to see my own daughter walk down the aisle as flower girl, flinging all her leaves from the basket in two handfuls rather than gently dropping them down the entire walk down the aisle. I was too busy frantically looking for an exit with my hand over Noah’s hollering mouth. Sigh, he is such a daddy’s boy and when he realized he was not going to sit with John he became unmanageable so he and I sat in the cold crying room for the entire wedding.

The reception was also beautiful and Noah and Aubrey got in lots of dancing!!

On Sunday, I went to an apple orchard with Aubrey and one of her classmates and her classmate's mother. Not sure we will eat all of those apples so we will have to find someone to share them with!

AUBREY’S UPDATES

Aubrey is doing fine and we should be going in for counts anytime now. John is expecting no change or even lower counts because we are seeing more nose bleeds and a little bit of blood on her pillow in the mornings.

PRAYERS FOR…

All those suffering in Guatemala from the mudslides (where my sponsored child is…I hope and pray she is fine) and for those suffering in Asia from the earthquake.

Where was God? Right there…on the cross.

A NOTE ON GRIEF

I met someone new at church a few weeks ago and when she asked me how long ago we lost Gabbie, I replied, “a little over three years ago.”

Without any prompting from me, she immediately said, “Oh, that is really recent.”

I cannot tell you how pleasantly shocked I was that a stranger understood. Yes, three years ago…the pain is very fresh.

OUR THANKS

Thank you for visiting…thank you for understanding.

In His Arms,
The Paquette's: Monica, John, Aubrey, Saint Gabrielle, and Noah

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Thursday, October 6, 2005 5:59 PM CDT

TWO PHOTOS…MINUTES APART

Those in Minneapolis who get the Sunday Star Tribune may recall some disturbing photos from about 4-5 weeks ago. The first picture I saw was of an emaciated and crying baby boy in Niger and for some reason he was sitting in a bucket. The photo immediately below was of a man eating a hamburger. Apparently the Star Tribune had received both photos from different sources within only minutes. What is so disturbing is that the man eating a hamburger is stuffing it into his mouth because he is participating in an eating contest somewhere in the United States.

Food is a gift from God that is no longer appreciated in our abundantly wealthy nation. But we shouldn’t be surprised because children are an even greater and more precious gift from God and we have yet to stem the rivers of blood from abortion that freely flow across our nation.

Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward. (Psalm 127:3)

Perhaps many will forget about the children of Niger and the children never seen…but God will never forget them and their angels are ever by their side.

AUBREY’S UPDATES

Miss Aubrey will be walking down the aisle as a flower girl in the wedding of John’s nephew, Jeffrey on Saturday!!! We are trying to keep her face bruise-free….

Congratulations to Jeffrey and Chris!

OUR THANKS

Thank you for visiting and thank you for visiting the other children. We hope you have a safe weekend.

Thank you, God, your goodness and mercy never end.

In His Arms,
The Paquette's: Monica, John, Aubrey, Saint Gabrielle, and Noah

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Tuesday, October 4, 2005 6:12 PM CDT

SHE LEFT US 1237 DAYS AGO; OUR LIVES TODAY

We are doing OK….

We all went to OLP for church last Saturday night so that we could watch the Twin Cities Marathon on Sunday. It’s a very exciting marathon to watch and the weather was perfect for spectators but a little warm and humid for the runners. Even Noah was cheering the runners on as he would copy whatever encouragements we yelled out to the runners.

Once again I was reminded that the Christian’s life is like a marathon and that however hard and even excruciating the journey may be the prize at the end cannot be described!

AUBREY’S UPDATES

Aubrey is doing OK. We have taken some pictures of some of her bruises but John is wondering if someone developing the pictures would think of calling the police with suspicion of child abuse. I don’t suppose it will help matters that there will also be a picture of Noah with an eye swollen shut due to a bug bite??

PRAYERS FOR…

Please, please pray for the Tamsen and Fitzpatrick families. Little Libby Tamsen is really struggling with ATRT and little beautiful Jill Fitzpatrick recently passed away from Hurlers.

Libby’s Site

Jill’s Site

OUR THANKS

Thanking God and knowing He is ALWAYS there!!

In His Arms,
The Paquette's: Monica, John, Aubrey, Saint Gabrielle, and Noah

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Thursday, September 29, 2005 5:58 PM CDT

HIS GOODWILL

I don’t have a favorite Scripture verse because there are too many that are my favorites. This is one of them:

God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved. (John 3:17)

“The word ‘benevolence’ is derived from the combination of the Latin prefix bene, which means ‘well’ or ‘good,” and the Latin root that means ‘will.’ Together the prefix and the root mean ‘goodwill.’ The Incarnation was an expression of the goodwill of God. His benevolent love. Christ came into the world not only by the will of the Father but by the goodwill of the Father.” ~ R.C. Sproul, Loved by God, reprinted in God’s Promises, Day by Day

God did not send Jesus to condemn sinners but to save those who would believe in Him. As sinners, we were already condemned.

SHE LEFT US 1232 DAYS AGO; OUR LIVES TODAY

I should have advertised this for all those who live in Minneapolis: Last night First Evangelical Free had a free concert featuring nationally known Sam Rotman, who is a classical pianist. At the end of his incredible presentation, Sam shared his testimony as a Jew for Jesus!

I had volunteered to help serve desserts but then also had the chance to listen to the concert for about 20 minutes. I confess to rarely listening to classical music but can certainly appreciate it after hearing Sam play. It was so dramatic and so beautiful!

AUBREY’S UPDATES

Aubrey is doing well and, so far, no calls from OLP this week regarding accidents! However, she is still having them as bath-time last night revealed some angry and scary bruises.

PRAYERS FOR…

Please pray for the Norris family who said goodbye to beautiful David on August 25. David went home after battling Neuroblastoma. However little these children are….to me there are the greatest Warriors for Jesus!

*~* David’s Site *~*

OUR THANKS

Thanks for visiting and thanks for caring for others!!

Thank you, God, for loving us while we were yet sinners.

In His Arms,
The Paquette's: Monica, John, Aubrey, Saint Gabrielle, and Noah

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Wednesday, September 28, 2005 8:33 AM CDT

CROSSES TO BEAR DO NOT MEAN ABANDONMENT

"How should American Christians pray for the church in China? So asked the reporter from the Baptist mission board, ending his interview with a leader of the Chinese house-church movement. His subject answered, 'Stop praying for persecution in China to end.' He added, 'It is through persecution that the church has grown.
.
.
.
Despite the clear teachings of the Bible, many of us actually think God has abandoned us when we go through difficulties, failures, and sorrows. We expect one glorious victory after another and are disconcerted when Jesus sends us a cross to bear.

We American Christians have become so prosperous, so successful, so optimistic that we have become spiritually soft and thus ineffective. The Chinese churchman sees that we could use the bitter medicine of persecution.

So when you find yourself struggling with hardship and opposition, or, even more so, when you are exulting in your success and popularity, remember: Someone in China is praying for you." ~ WORLD Magazine, Praying for Persecution, Chinese Christians Have a Slightly Different Idea of How God Blesses, October 1, 2005

SHE LEFT US 1231 DAYS AGO; OUR LIVES TODAY

I am really struggling with our church situation. At the same time that First Evangelical Free seems like the perfect fit for me, our going different ways on Sundays is wearing me down more and more. I was actually all ready to start having us all go to OLP for the sake of our family and marriage. However, last Sunday when I went to pick up Aubrey at Sunday school at First Free, I saw her happiness and all that she has learned and my heart sank to a new low. Aubrey loves going to church with me!! She sometimes begs to come with me.

Any of my Catholic friends can correct me but I read somewhere that, according to the Catholic Church, it would be a serious sin if John did not insist that Aubrey and Noah be raised Catholic.

There is a lot of advice available for intrafaith marriages but very little advice for which way the children should go. This is so very, very hard.

A NOTE ON GRIEF

I sometimes see how protective mothers are of their little children from even the littlest of injuries. I always wonder if they realize that it is a privilege to be so protective and that some of us have our hands tied behind our back as we watch pain and suffering poured over our innocent little child.

There are no words to describe the helpless feeling of not being able to protect your child.

But then again, I now know that Gabrielle was refined, however painfully, to perfection…by the One and Only Creator over all.

OUR THANKS

Thanks for visiting Gabbie's site!! Please pray for our church situation…I want to make sure we do what is right and not just what we want.

In His Arms,
The Paquette's: Monica, John, Aubrey, Saint Gabrielle, and Noah

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Thursday, September 22, 2005 6:07 PM CDT

CRUTCH OR CURE?

Our church gives out little flyers once a month that are published by Common Ground. Last week’s flyer discussed whether Christianity is a crutch or a cure. Those in Minnesota may recall that a comment made by Jesse Venture, below:

“Organized religion is a sham and a crutch for weak minded people who need strength in numbers.”

Common Ground goes on to explain how this is not true.

“The object of faith at the heart of Christianity that sets it apart from every other religion in the world is Jesus Christ crucified and resurrected. The Apostle Paul argues in 1 Corinthians 15 that the resurrection is the jugular vein of Christianity—if it’s true, so is Christianity. For centuries skeptics have sought to disprove this crucial event but very alternative explanation for the historical facts of the resurrection has failed. The direct evidence of the empty tomb and the appearances of Christ, combined with circumstantial evidence, establish the bodily resurrection of Christ beyond a reasonable doubt.” Common Ground, Christianity: Crutch or Cure, September 2005

SHE LEFT US 1225 DAYS AGO; OUR LIVES TODAY

Last night when I got home I hurried and got dressed to run so I could take Noah in the jogger before the rain came. But it was looking pretty stormy and John did not want me to take Noah so I went off alone. Aubrey asked me to hurry because she does not like storms. I was almost at the halfway point when all the tornado sirens went off. I wasn’t worried but picked up the pace and made it home just before the winds and rain.

I wasn’t surprised to find Aubrey crying as she is fearful of tornadoes and she was also worried because I was out there running. We did have some wicked weather last night and sadly a man in north Minneapolis was killed by a fallen tree so I guess we should always heed the weather warnings!

Praying, once again, for those down in the south and in the path of Hurricane Rita.

AUBREY’S UPDATES

We get calls from Our Lady of Peace…almost daily!! While I am sorry for the school, I am glad they are being extra vigilant about Aubrey’s condition. She is always OK and tonight we will find a bruise on her head as a telephone was dropped on her while the kids were playing.

OUR THANKS

Hope you all have a safe weekend!

Thanking God for his deep love for Gabrielle and all the other children who have left us.

In His Arms,
The Paquette's: Monica, John, Aubrey, Saint Gabrielle, and Noah

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Monday, September 19, 2005 5:40 PM CDT

WELCOME BABY!!!!

Please visit the CaringBridge site for Theresa Rose Clyde and congratulate Cathy and Nate on the arrival of Sarah Lucia!!! We are so very, very happy for the faithful Clydes.

Site for Theresa Rose

Always remembering, of course, how deeply Theresa Rose is missed. But we know our most faithful Father in heaven has brought her to his side and her joyful soul awaits a future reunion with the rest of her family.

SHE LEFT US 1222 DAYS AGO; OUR LIVES TODAY

Last Friday I went to the hospital to visit Cathy and meet baby Sarah. What an * honor * for me to be able to actually hold Sarah Lucia—she is so very precious and extra cute!

AUBREY’S UPDATES

Gabrielle’s godmother, Elizabeth, and John’s nephew’s fiancée, Chris, picked up Aubrey and I on Sunday and we went dress-shopping as Aubrey is to be a flower girl in the upcoming wedding. We went to Penney’s and both Elizabeth and I gasped at the same time as we found a dress immediately that matched the wedding colors!! I thought it was going to be a long afternoon but everything went quickly although we had to do a bit more shopping to find some shoes for Aubrey.

Before we went, John was trying to wash lipstick off Aubrey’s face…but upon closer inspection it was a form of bruising. ITP doesn’t just cause typical black and blue marks as almost any blow or sustained pressure will cause some type of mark to show up. Hopefully we can be extra careful the week of the wedding so that she is not all bruised.

OUR THANKS

Thanks for visiting Gabbie’s site today. Thanking God for his blessings upon the Clyde family…we rejoice with them!!

New pics of Aubrey and Noah on photo page.

In His Arms,
The Paquette's: Monica, John, Aubrey, Saint Gabrielle, and Noah

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Thursday, September 15, 2005 5:46 PM CDT

THE NEW CITY

For here have we no continuing city, but we seek one to come. (Hebrews 13:14)

Some day there shall be no more troubles in our home because there shall be no Wentworth Avenue, no Minneapolis, no Minnesota, no America…

There shall be a new city!!

AUBREY’S UPDATES

School hasn’t even been in session for two weeks and we have already had several “incidents” concerning Aubrey. Last week when John picked her up, a friend had a rope around Aubrey’s waist and was yanking her around and within hours Aubrey had an ugly and even swollen bruise on her waist.

Yesterday we were called by one of the Extended Day workers and Aubrey was on the monkey bars and a friend pulled her off and she landed on her back and hit her head. We called the nurse at the hematology clinic and were told to just watch for behavior changes and Aubrey was fine.

Today I was called by a school nurse assistant and this time Aubrey apparently walked into a pole and hit her head again.

Aubrey is fine but her platelets are very low. The normal range is 150,000 to 400,000. Aubrey’s platelets are only at 17,000. We ran some errands last night and people were staring at Aubrey and I was tempted to just loudly announce that she had a condition. I'm sure people stare and then contemplate whether there is abuse--because that is what it looks like.

PRAYERS FOR…

For Scott and Shannon who recently lost their beautiful baby girl, Avery, to a Congenital Heart Defect.

Site for Avery

OUR THANKS

Thanks again for all your kind guest book entries.

Thank you, God, for watching our little Aubrey who only wants to swing, run, and play!

In His Arms,
The Paquette's: Monica, John, Aubrey, Saint Gabrielle, and Noah

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Tuesday, September 13, 2005 4:41 PM CDT

”HEARTBREAK IS ALL THAT LIVES ON”

The expression above was from today’s issue of the Minneapolis Star Tribune and is related to Hurricane Katrina. Many times when I have expressed to those who have never lost a child that “I died the day Gabbie died,” I have been scolded that I didn’t really, and couldn’t possibly, have felt that way.

Well, some of us do die and it really is that painful. Read below for an excerpt from “Heartbreak is All that Lives On.”

As Grady Samuels Sr., 82, sat in an evacuation shelter in Baton Rouge, La., he could not stop watching the images of children on TV. The elderly man, known as Grandpa Grady in his River Ridge, La., neighborhood, was sickened by the suffering.

“He was saying, ‘Ya’ll get those children,’” said Rosie Jackson, 35, one of his many grandchildren. To calm him, family members lied and reassured him that they would rescue the children on TV.

As the days wore on, Samuels grew quieter. He stopped eating or speaking. Last Thursday, he died.

“I think he grieved himself to death,” said daughter Julia Samuels, 56.

A NOTE ON GRIEF

Yesterday Noah was exactly the same age as the day Gabbie died in my arms. By God’s plan, my aching heart is strong enough to continue beating but yet I now fully know why Grady Samuels Sr. died…deep, deep LAMENTING heartache. (Thank you, Yolanda, if you read this.)

OUR THANKS

Thank you for visiting. Thank you for updating me on the “other children.” Thank you for the many and kind guest book entries! Thank you for praying for Aubrey.

Thank you, Grady Samuels, for showing us the true meaning of having a heart for others.

Thank you, God, for gathering together all our heartaches that will be banished forever away some day.

In His Arms,
The Paquette's: Monica, John, Aubrey, Saint Gabrielle, and Noah

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Monday, September 12, 2005 9:48 AM CDT

WE REMEMBER

Far away in Minnesota...we remember all those impacted directly and indirectly by September 11, 2001. We are sorry for all the families who lost loved ones on that tragic day.

In His Arms,
The Paquette's: Monica, John, Aubrey, Saint Gabrielle, and Noah

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Saturday, September 10, 2005 9:31 AM CDT

AUBREY'S CHECK-UP

We met with Dr. Bostrom yesterday and I am, once again, relieved. I had resisted the urge to go online and read up on ITP until Thursday and it was a mistake because I have a knack for finding all the "bad" news about a disease.

For now we are only going to monitor Aubrey as all medications have unwanted side-effects. There is no cure for ITP and we are hopeful Aubrey will grow out of it. However, while she has her young age on her side for complete recovery, it is balanced out by autoimmune issues on both sides of the family. Unless things change, we will only have blood drawn for counts once a month. Aubrey's platelets have gone up by 3,000 but in the scheme of things that is not considered a change. I think normal counts are 140,000 and she only has 17,000.

She can resume some activity but we will see bruises. There really is nothing we can do from the perspective of her diet or natural remedies as we do not want to "boost" her already active immune system.

After our visit with Dr. Bostrom, we went up to the 8th floor and because it was shift change we saw many of Gabbie's nurses and had a little reunion. We will always be so grateful for the caring nurses at Children's!!

OUR THANKS

We thank God, again, that this condition should be manageable. No matter what happens, of course, God is good and His mercies always endure. Sometimes as a parent watching children suffer we forget to praise Him as much as we should. No one deserves more of our loyalty than God!

We hope everyone had a great weekend!

In His Arms,
The Paquette's: Monica, John, Aubrey, Saint Gabrielle, and Noah

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Thursday, September 8, 2005 4:58 PM CDT

PRAYERS FOR…

Tomorrow (Friday) is our first clinic visit with a hematologist. Please pray that Aubrey’s ITP is the classic textbook case and that within six months or so this will all be behind us. For most children this is an acute diagnosis but for some it becomes chronic.

I know that God is in control and I remain relieved that this is not leukemia. But now I’ve done some of my own research and am very frustrated by what we are facing. As a guest book signer noted, this is still a serious disease.

Aubrey has been through enough and she has been through far, far more than most adults. Just like Gabbie.

OUR THANKS

Thanks for visiting and thank you for your prayers.

In His Arms,
The Paquette's: Monica, John, Aubrey, Saint Gabrielle, and Noah

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Tuesday, September 6, 2005 7:57 AM CDT

PRAYER REQUEST

Here is another prayer request from a guestbook signer, Emily. Jeremiah was a preemie (whose twin, Isaiah, died) and has had many complications and needs prayers now. Please stop by and offer support for Jeremiah's family.

Jeremiah's Site

A TRIP TO THE E.R.

About 7-10 days ago John started to notice and worry about an increase in number of bruises on Aubrey. I brushed aside the bruises as a natural outcome to increased tumbling and when she had some nosebleeds I assumed it was because our humid air had become dry.

Aubrey was showering on Saturday evening and John came out of the bathroom almost despondent. I went in and looked at Aubrey and became very, very worried also. The bruises were increasing and some were huge and ugly. We called our pediatricians and they also thought we should go to Children's right away.

Less than 4 hours later and after midnight I floated out of Children's with Aubrey and I was so relieved!! She does have a diagnosis but it is NOT CANCER!!

Aubrey's immune system is attacking her platelets. The condition is called Idiopathic Thrombocytopenia (ITP). Most children outgrow it in about 6 months and for now we are just to watch her. However, to Aubrey's dismay, she is to be very, very inactive. The ER doctor said, "lots of T.V., lots of movies…." So, we will allow T.V. but encourage workbooks and art!

We need to follow-up with a doctor at the hem/onc clinic and we hope to be able to get Gabrielle's doctor, Dr. Bostrom.

A NOTE ON GRIEF

As Aubrey headed off to her first day of school today, I went out (still in my pajamas) and took a picture of her this morning.

Gabrielle should have been in that picture. Missing you, more than ever, dear Gabbie. Sorry your diagnosis was so ugly and so ravaging.

OUR THANKS

Thanks for visiting and thanks to all who are praying for our brothers and sisters in the Gulf Coast.

Our trip to Children's ER Saturday night went so smoothly and the doctor and nurses and the childlife specialist were absolutely incredible. Mpls Children's is a great hospital!

Thank you, God, for sparing us from what we thought was surely leukemia.

In His Arms,
The Paquette's: Monica, John, Aubrey, Saint Gabrielle, and Noah

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Friday, September 2, 2005 11:21 AM CDT

THEY NEED OUR HELP…SO VERY, VERY MUCH

The overwhelming devastation and sadness in the Gulf Coast is unbelievable but true. While I feel great sadness for the adults, every image of a child is crushing and, to be honest, infuriating. I’m also very sorry that this tragedy has predominantly hit people of the lowest level of income and blacks.

I will confess that I am not donating to the either of the charities I mentioned in the previous journal entry. Our company is participating with the American Red Cross and Thomson is donating $2.00 for every employee $1.00 donated to the Red Cross!! (No maximum amount on our donation either.)

So, the chance to double my donation was too good to pass.

SHE LEFT US 1205 DAYS AGO; OUR LIVES TODAY

Aubrey and John surprised me yesterday by coming to West for lunch (I recently had a birthday). Although I knew something was up because Aubrey kept peppering me with questions about meetings, what I did for lunch, would I be at work on Thursday, etc.

Last night we had the chance to meet Aubrey’s 1st grade teacher at Our Lady of Peace and we are all excited for Aubrey to start first grade.

Another low-key weekend and I think we will continue to have nice weather. All week Minnesota has had nice weather and it’s so strange to think of the stark differences between Minnesota and New Orleans.

PRAYERS FOR…

Kelly, Dave, and Charlie, the parents and brother of Jamie (Beebo), who died on August 31 after a brave battle against neuroblastoma.

Beebo’s Site

A NOTE ON GRIEF

The sad eyes of every hurt child in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina, remind me of you, Gabrielle. May the angel of mercy who was your guardian angel, and many, many more, wrap their loving arms around those children. May God, who I know was at your side, whisper to them that some day it really will be alright, even if that day may not be until eternity.

OUR THANKS

Thank you for visiting and we hope you all have a safe holiday weekend.

My heart is also grateful for all those who ARE making an impact in the aftermath of this horrible, horrible disaster. While these times are so hard to understand, we praise our God of unfailing promise who tells us that “…all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.” (Romans 8:28)

In His Arms,
The Paquette's: Monica, John, Aubrey, Saint Gabrielle, and Noah

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Tuesday, August 30, 2005 5:08 PM CDT

HURRICANE KATRINA: DO YOU WANT TO HELP?

“The American Red Cross has requested Southern Baptists to prepare 300,000 meals a day by mid-week, increasing capacity to half a million meals a day by the end of the week.

During a natural disaster, the American Red Cross and the Salvation Army depend on NAMB [North American Mission Board] to coordinate the nearly 600 disaster relief units owned by SBC churches, associations and state conventions and staffed by Southern Baptist volunteers.”

For more information on how to help, click on NAMB

Or, click on Samaritan’s Purse

GOD and HURRICANE KATRINA

The utter devastation on the Gulf Coast is overwhelming and unimaginable. Atheists will surely ask, “Where was your God?” But not only are humans affected by the fall, so too is all of creation. Below is an excerpt from a Spurgeon sermon regarding creation and the fall.

"Creation glows with a thousand beauties, even in its present fallen condition; yet clearly enough it is not as when it came from the Maker's hand--the slime of the serpent is on it all--this is not the world which God pronounced to be "very good." We hear of tornadoes, of earthquakes, of tempests, of volcanoes, of avalanches, and of the sea which devoureth its thousands: there is sorrow on the sea, and there is misery on the land; and into the highest palaces as well as the poorest cottages, death, the insatiable, is shooting his arrows, while his quiver is still full to bursting with future woes. It is a sad, sad world. The curse has fallen on it since the fall, and thorns and thistles it bringeth forth, not from its soil alone, but from all that comes of it. Earth wears upon her brow, like Cain of old, the brand of transgression. Sad would it be to our thoughts if it were always to be so. If there were no future to this world as well as to ourselves, we might be glad to escape from it, counting it to be nothing better than a huge penal colony, from which it would be a thousand mercies for both body and soul to be emancipated. At this present time, the groaning and travailing which are general throughout creation, are deeply felt among the sons of men. ~ Charles H. Spurgeon, Creation’s Groans and Saints’ Sighs, January 5, 1868 Sermon

PRAYERS FOR…

In the days, weeks, and months to come, all those impacted by the hurricane.

OUR THANKS

Thank you for visiting.

In His Arms,
The Paquette's: Monica, John, Aubrey, Saint Gabrielle, and Noah

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Friday, August 26, 2005 5:50 PM CDT

IT WILL BE UNEXPECTED!

Be ready, for the Son of Man is coming at an hour you do not expect. (Matthew 24:44)

Every person who has ever lived will be present at that final gathering. Every heart that has ever beat. Every mouth that has ever spoken. On that day you will be surrounded by a sea of people. Rich, poor. Famous, unknown. Kings, bums. Brilliant, demented. All will be present. And all will be looking at Him—the Son of Man. Wrapped in splendor. Shot through with radiance. ~ Max Lucado, And the Angels Were Silent, reprinted in God’s Promises, Day by Day

SHE LEFT US 1198 DAYS AGO; OUR LIVES TODAY

Not too much planned for our weekend—it’s supposed to be nice and with summer’s close pressing in on us so quickly I will make sure Aubrey and Noah spend a lot of time outside. School for Aubrey is only about 11 days away! She still has some issues with going to the bathroom but I’m just hoping that the change of pace will really help her and us.

Noah is still Noah…temper tantrums seem to be a way of life. Last Sunday, as John tried to walk quietly up the aisle for communion, Noah kept screaming:

I push button, I PUUUSHHH BUUUTTTONN, IIII PUUUUSHHH BUTTTTON.

Apparently Noah really wanted to push that elevator button.

OUR THANKS

Thanks for visiting! We appreciate all of you.

In His Arms,
The Paquette's: Monica, John, Aubrey, Saint Gabrielle, and Noah

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Wednesday, August 24, 2005 6:40 PM CDT

UPDATE and PRAYERS FOR…

Per a request in the guest book, please pray for Jacob Duckworth. This family has recently received very bad news about Jacob’s progress in fighting adrenocortical carcinoma.

To those who pray for others…please remember this faithful family.

Amazing Jacob’s Site

When I went to Jacob’s site and looked at the pictures, I remembered that I had visited the site some time ago. So many children suffering…always, always far too many.

TRUSTING

Every word of God is pure; He is a shield to those who put their trust in Him. (Proverbs 30:5)

Sometimes that is the most we can do when thinking of the suffering of children…trust in Him!

SHE LEFT US 1196 DAYS AGO; OUR LIVES TODAY

We had a busy weekend! On Saturday morning Aubrey and I went to my sister-in-law’s house and we helped John’s nephew and his fiancée put together some of their wedding invitations. I left before we were finished but since we already received our invite in the mail I’m assuming they finished!

After that I took Noah to Zach West’s birthday party. Zach is the little boy who is dealing Mitochondrial disease. Zach’s mom had arranged for a firetruck, the Twin’s mascot, and even the Timberwolve’s mascot, Crunch, to come join the party. I know all the children had a great time! Please pray for Zach and his family….they have had a long and frustrating journey.

Site for Zach

On Sunday night, my parents came over for a visit and also brought dinner. After we were done eating, Aubrey was showing John how she could completely swivel her latest loose tooth. Sure enough she turned it all the way around and then left it there…sideways!! I couldn’t even look at it and then Aubrey went to the bathroom and by the time she came out the tooth was out. (I can donate blood and not be one bit bothered by a needle in my arm but refuse to look at Aubrey’s teeth when there just hanging in there.)

PRAYERS FOR…

I received a prayer request for this little girl, Maddy Bates. Little “Queen Maddy” is fighting AML and her family needs encouragement and prayers!!

Queen Maddy’s Site

OUR THANKS

Thanks for checking in! Hope you have a blessed day.

In His Arms,
The Paquette's: Monica, John, Aubrey, Saint Gabrielle, and Noah

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Friday, August 19, 2005 6:21 PM CDT

SHE LEFT US 1191 DAYS AGO; OUR LIVES TODAY

I know I don’t update as often….just missing our dear Gabrielle so very, very much. Wondering why someone so very loving and gentle had to be taken away…not questioning God…just wondering.

PRAYERS FOR…

Please pray for this beautiful little boy, David, and his family. David is battling neuroblastoma.

David’s Site

OUR THANKS

Hope you all had a great weekend! God is good and full of mercy even when we are sad.

In His Arms,
The Paquette's: Monica, John, Aubrey, Saint Gabrielle, and Noah

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Tuesday, August 16, 2005 6:11 PM CDT

DO NOT CLUTCH TIGHTLY

On Sunday while Noah was napping I decided to go through all my cardstock (used for stamping) in order to give some of it away. I gave a stack to our daycare center and have a whole bag loaded up for Children’s Hospital.

This wasn’t a sacrifice—I should never have accumulated so much cardstock and I know that it will be used at the daycare.

“Whatever we may own, whether in large or small measure, when placed gladly in God’s great strong hands can be blessed and multiplied a thousand times to enrich countless other lives. If clutched tightly and timidly to our own selfish souls it will shrivel away to a mere whimsy, wasted on one’s self.” Phillip Keller, A Gardener Looks at the Fruits of the Spirit, reprinted in God’s Promises, Day by Day

The generous soul will be made rich, and he who waters will also be watered himself. (Proverbs 11:25)

SHE LEFT US 1188 DAYS AGO; OUR LIVES TODAY

John missed work Friday and Monday because he had some type of stomach virus but he feels better today. Aubrey was real moody during dinner on Sunday evening and John and I were not very patient with her but then we later realized she really was sick as she also had some vomiting and so she also stayed home on Monday. (I’m the only one who did not get the stomach virus!)

Otherwise we had an “OK” weekend. On Saturday the mother of one of Aubrey’s friends called us and invited Aubrey and me to meet them at a free Motown music festival that was held in south Minneapolis. It was a beautiful, although cool, evening and the girls really had a great time. Fortunately there were port-a-pots otherwise Aubrey would not have been happy. Her bladder issue has improved—but not very much. She will now not go anywhere unless she knows there is a bathroom.

OUR THANKS

Thanks for stopping by today!! Have a blessed day.

In His Arms,
The Paquette's: Monica, John, Aubrey, Saint Gabrielle, and Noah

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Friday, August 12, 2005 6:27 PM CDT

WILL YOU BE ….

On our second day of travel on the way to Eureka Springs, we made an unplanned stop in Carthage, Missouri. We saw billboard after billboard for Precious Moments Park and out of curiosity we stopped to see it. We were very surprised to see that it was quite an operation and not just a store. There are beautiful and peaceful outdoor gardens, complete with piped in Christian music and child-high stone statues of Precious Moments characters.

There is even a beautiful chapel with extra rooms dedicated to those who have lost children but also other loved ones. Apparently the founder of Precious Moments also lost a 27-year old son, Philip. There is even a room dedicated to Philip named “Philip’s Room.” The room has many, many thick guest books—almost all signed by those grieving from loss.

There is also something else special in the chapel. It was a glass-enclosed display and was a Precious Moments view of heaven (but otherwise evident biblical descriptions of heaven) with Jesus standing in the middle. The display was aptly named, “Will you be ready when Jesus comes?”

Gabbie knows there is no question more important!

SHE LEFT US 1184 DAYS AGO; OUR LIVES TODAY

The fun never ends…John had to take Aubrey to the doctor as daycare called us and said she was crying about bathroom issues. She does not have a bladder infection but the doctor said that girls from the ages of 3-7 year can sometimes get a condition where the bladder shrinks. It might be caused by anxiety but it becomes real in the physical sense. Not to worry, though, they prescribed a drug that will relax her bladder and we are to start using timers and slowly increase the amount of time she must wait before emptying her bladder.

We have so much to catch up on since we both went back to work that day after our trip so hopefully we will have a productive weekend.

PRAYERS FOR…

The Alain family who said good-bye to little and cute Ethan. He bravely battled a Wilms Tumor but is now resting with Jesus and Gabbie and all the others.

Ethan’s Site

OUR THANKS

We hope you all have a safe weekend. Thanks for being so kind and gracious!!

In His Arms,
The Paquette's: Monica, John, Aubrey, Saint Gabrielle, and Noah

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Wednesday, August 10, 2005 5:57 PM CDT

TEACHING YOUR CHILDREN…IN SILENCE

”Teaching children, said [G.K.] Chesterton, ‘is all a matter of tone and implication…It is not the things you say which children respect; when you say things, they commonly laugh and do the opposite. It is the things you assume that really sink in to them. It is the things you forget even to teach that they learn.’” Family Offices, Teaching Children to Love Being Sons & Daughters, Vigen Guroian, Touchstone, July-August 2005

So what we think, even silently, about Jesus and whether or not he is, as he says, the only way to heaven is of utmost importance for our children.

SHE LEFT US 1181 DAYS AGO; OUR LIVES TODAY

One of the bonuses of our trip is that we forgot to bring Noah’s “fodder” (pacifier). He only asked for it a few times and then again immediately when we arrived back home. But we said it was gone and now we are fodder-free!!

Poor Noah was sick on Monday with vomiting and fever but it must have been a very short-lived virus and he was better on Tuesday.

PRAYERS FOR…

For another family who sadly said good-bye to their little girl, Kaitlyn, a few days ago. Kaitlyn had neuroblastoma and like Gabbie I don’t think she ever saw remission.

Kaitlyn’s Site

A NOTE ON GRIEF

Those pictures you see in the paper of people in Iraq or Israel crumpled in a heap and screaming after a loved one has died—that is real grief. Here, we feel the same when our child dies but we are expected to keep it quiet and comfortable.

Quiet and comfortable for whom?

OUR THANKS

Thanks for visiting today! Thanks for sharing your own travel experiences as it really helps John and me to know it wasn’t just us.

In His Arms,
The Paquette's: Monica, John, Aubrey, Saint Gabrielle, and Noah

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Monday, August 8, 2005 6:22 PM CDT

SHE LEFT US 1180 DYAS AGO; OUR LIVES TODAY

We made it back from Eureka Springs!! We had some very good moments but to be honest this vacation was emotionally draining. Noah did not behave for us and at times he was difficult to manage. Aubrey also developed, psychologically, some bladder problems and she thought she had to go constantly. She does not have a bladder infection. We are certain it was psychological as it started right after we once told her in the car that we could not stop every half hour for a bathroom break. Sometimes she would go and then not even five minutes later state she had to go again. Now that we are home…the issue has resolved. This trip really was too long for Aubrey and Noah and not quite kid-friendly enough.

On the bright side, we are blessed to have Aubrey and Noah!

Eureka Springs is a very interesting town and we were told it is the only town where the entire downtown is on the National Register of Historic Places. It is a very hilly town as it is right in the Ozarks. Homes in the historic area sometimes appeared to be precariously perched right on the edge of cliffs—to the point of making my stomach turn. But I guess it’s safe because they are built upon rock and not soil that can erode.

We had sunny and very warm weather the entire trip so we used the hotel pool every day and sometimes twice a day, which was the highlight of the trip for Aubrey. The highlight for John was probably Pea Ridge battlefield—which Aubrey and I skipped and instead went shopping. The highlight for me was hand-feeding a camel in the Promised Land Zoo. And, based on his intense laughter, the highlight for Noah was when hungry Ostriches peered in our car windows looking for food, also at the Promised Land Zoo.

OUR THANKS

We hope everyone is doing fine….thanks for stopping by!!

We thank God for keeping us safe on our trip and for sparing us from what could have been a fatal accident (thanks to the difficult time we had navigating the freeway in Kansas City!)

In His Arms,
The Paquette's: Monica, John, Aubrey, Saint Gabrielle, and Noah

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Wednesday, July 27, 2005 5:51 PM CDT

WHO IS RABILOU?

All I know is that Rabilou was a tiny child who has already died from the horrible famine crisis in Niger. Appeals for help went out last November…but our world did not respond. Now that the crisis has reached catastrophic proportions the aid finally arriving on scene is too little and too late for many innocent children and families.

Much of Niger’s famine has been caused by drought and from severe locust invasions in 2004. Last night, ABC’s Nightline aired a BBC video regarding Niger’s famine. I will never forget watching a young child from a nomad family eat something we would never touch—I won’t even mention it here.

This morning as I ate breakfast (with much to choose from) with my children I opened the front page of the Star Tribune and was greeted with the sad and crying face of a little boy from Niger. There were four flies crawling near one of his eyes and more by his mouth and he is severely emaciated. I cut that picture out and it’s posted in my cube and even covering up one of my favorite pictures of Gabbie. He is next to the “And Surely I AM with you always to the very end of the age” poster with a child’s solemn face wrapped with a crown of thorns. The picture will remain until the famine is over.

How can we watch? How can we live as we do? How can we waste food?

Who was Rabilou?

GOING ON VACATION…

We are leaving for our summer vacation on Saturday morning and will be offline until after August 8. We are driving to * Eureka Springs * in northern Arkansas. Yes, it’s a live link if you want to check out Eureka Springs.

A NOTE ON GRIEF

We will be noticing Gabrielle’s absence the entire vacation.

But unlike the unfortunate in Niger, we will have money to plunk down for every single meal, snacks, refreshments…and more.

Those of us who have lost children to cancer will say that, “No child should have to bear cancer.” We should also never forget that, “No child should ever slowly starve to death.”

OUR THANKS

Thank you for visiting Gabbie’s site.

If anyone is willing to, please sign Gabbie’s guest book and note the international charities you think will best serve the Niger famine. While there are so many needy people in this world, this famine is too much and we really want to help out. THANK YOU!!

In His Arms,
The Paquette's: Monica, John, Aubrey, Saint Gabrielle, and Noah

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Friday, July 22, 2005 6:03 PM CDT

SHE LEFT US 1163 DAYS AGO; OUR LIVES TODAY

We are headed for a very toasty weekend!! I plan to bring Aubrey and Noah to a beach, probably both days. I am still working on Noah and the water as sometimes he will get in and sometimes not.

I took both Aubrey and Noah to Lake Harriet last night after work and Noah had a tantrum because I took his shoes and socks off. (He doesn’t like to be without shoes.) So he stood on the shore the entire time and just cried and screamed while holding a single sock. Then we all had to haul off to a port-a-pot because Aubrey had to go to the bathroom. She came out crying because the hand antiseptic squirted right into her eye. We went back to the beach and then we were attacked by biting flies so it was time to go home. Gosh, we had fun last night.

PRAYERS FOR…

Here is a site I have been following for a while. Catie has medulloblastoma and as far as I can tell she is doing OK. Still, I get tears almost every time I go to her site and see her little bald head. Please, please pray for this special little girl.

Catie’s Site

OUR THANKS

Have a safe weekend….be careful in the heat.

Thanking God for his mercy and for all the blessings He has so generously provided to our family.

In His Arms,
The Paquette's: Monica, John, Aubrey, Saint Gabrielle, and Noah

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Tuesday, July 19, 2005 6:18 PM CDT

SHE LEFT US 1160 DAYS AGO; OUR LIVES TODAY

Aubrey arrived back home all tan and happy. We are so grateful for all the care she received under Auntie Sarah’s watchful eye. I was also able to meet up twice with my sister Nancy, visiting from California and now flying back as I type this. We never did run on Sunday as it was very hot but we walked around Lake Harriet as the weather made a weak attempt at some storms.

A NOTE ON GRIEF

Cathy and Nate had a beautiful and meaningful memorial service for Theresa Rose on Saturday. We had some chapel time and then we watched Cathy put in Theresa’s memorial tile on a wall at St. Paul Children’s. Cathy is so creative and their tile had a handprint from Theresa Rose and Cathy then superimposed a crucifix on the Theresa’s little palm print.

As beautiful as it was, Nate and I agreed that no matter what we do, the pain remains.

“Many waters cannot quench love, nor floods sweep it away...” (Song of Songs 8:7)

In memory of Theresa Rose.

OUR THANKS

Dear Becky….thank you so much for the luminary in memory of Gabrielle…we are so touched and so thankful!

Thanks to all for visiting Gabbie’s site.

In His Arms,
The Paquette's: Monica, John, Aubrey, Saint Gabrielle, and Noah

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Friday, July 15, 2005 5:36 PM CDT