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Thursday, September 10, 2009 4:10 PM CDT

You know what? cancer can so bite. It will never fail to suprise me at who when and where it will strike.
Wow!

Wednesday, September 9, 2009 0:09 AM CDT

I learn a lot as I trundle along. Every time I wake-up in the morning there is an entire world out there to teach me all sorts of things. One thing I have learned is that I, at the time of whatever lesson that is being taught, do not realize the significance of said learning at the time of the teaching.
There are all sorts of people in this world with all sorts of personalities and quirks ect. I know I am not unique in anyway. What makes people who and how they are is how they apply the lessons taught. People like me always seem to not have a middle ground. I could just go on about this but will spare you the drama. HA! A lesson I have learned. No one wants to hear it so shut up.
To cut to the chase, Aizee is doing great. After her sisters went in for Echos and work-ups, they are great as well. Now that I have been settled in one place of my life of my choosing for more than a few years, I am actually getting my confidence back. A huge part of this is due to the community. People to people. Neighbor to Neighbor. Networking. Communication.
Through a wonderful friend I found since moving here, I have a great dentist. Through him, a grandmother to a cancer survivor. Through them, it made me realize hospital to hospital. Here, they have little heros who talk to other cancer kids. The parents are allowed to mingle and communicate. Despite the disease and problems, ect, parents can talk.
When Aisalynn was dxed, NO ONE was allowed to talk or communicate. We were virtually shut off.
Moving here and first seeing the childrens area of this 'new' hospital to us, I was freaked. NOW, I realize, NEW places are set up better to combat all that is involved with prevention, and containment, but also efficiently cuts of communication.
Yes, my next paragraphs will sound paranoid, but ohwell.
If Aisalynn had been diagnosed and treated in a place like Yale I know I would not have been so freaked out or felt so isolated. I know I would not have ranted and raved and felt so alone. At Primaries, everyone was cut off. NO communication allowed. So when I actually got to find an open area to vent to I spewed. I lost it.
Years later, belonging to an actual real time, here and now community, my feet have landed.
For the first year or so....okay, back track here a moment...
Imagine you are a flake in a snow globe. Or somthing that gets tossed around despite your own volition. A whatever who previously threw it to the cosmos to handle until the cosmos had a smack down...( omg! trying to apease the critics gets so Difficult! ) ANYWAY... And everytime you land and think THIS is it, your world gets topsy turvy again. And as you fly around you are beaten and berated, judged and condemned. For a long time you go along and make do. Then, it seems like your life is in perpetual hell and so you just make it all about you. You lash out and fight and judge and are terrified of the world.
Then you land and stay landed. Yet you still fight and lash.
Surrender. I finally did.
I am not saying throw it to whatever Gods hands. Different dieties, same premise. Just finally....
Actually paying attention to the world around myself again. The world at large. The universe. The rubix cube of the cosmos is a kadrillion little pieces and parts that makes an entire puzzle to be worked out. Whatever race, creed, heritage, ansetry, money, no money, music style, clothes, lables, dirty house, no house, slum, sexual style, whatever, anything and everything is superficial.
What matters is this is the one planet where we all live.
The one inarguable thing despite all else.
You can be any religion. Any belief. You can see ghosts, or not. You can talk to a diety or not. ect.
A doomsday prophet, a racist. A poet, a great artist in anyway.
The one thing Everyone has in common is that we all live here. Be it a horror movie buff. Or a jug band lover.
There have been wars galor from day one. Be it the Dinosaurs or Able and Cain. Through the centuries.
The one thing is Planet Earth.
We should make maintaining it priority number one. Then argue all the rest afterwards.
Ha, I can't wait for a relative to read this. They already forbid their kids to visit. Rob and I are the Piriarhas of both sides. We never did learn the proper puckering up method.
I was raised Born again Christian and took the lessons literally. It was viewing those around me that I realized, and who really cares. :)
Life is just that. Life. Live it and enjoy. Regardless.

Thursday, August 27, 2009 1:25 AM CDT

Aizee is doing fantastic. Now we are working on her realizing being healthy and okay is good. Due to just how life is, she seems to be addicted to hospitals. We are working on breaking that cycle.
For myself, seeing my daughters arterial blood spurting forth had me at a turning point.
There really can be no universal coming of minds on any aspect. But, what can be is a mutual understanding of personal hells. Each of us dealing with out personal stuff along with being empathetic to anothers crisis. Not to be taken advantage of, but to be there for one another.\
Aizee had a roommate. A little girl suffering from sicle cell anemia. that little kid sure educated me about that disease.
Being open, honest and communicating is what can make things better for all around. Not the finger pointing accusations and judgements that are so prevelant of everything.

Friday, July 17, 2009 2:04 AM CDT

YAY! Aizee made it okay! And that is AWSOME!
Maybe for me, more and more this page is turning into my vent area for how we are treated.
Upon discussing how she inadvertantly opened up her artery when she was vomiting in the hospital I got a lecture about how it was my fault it happend. And, about how our clothes won't be appropriate for the upcoming anniverssary shindig in August. ECT.
I mean, NO matter what happens, I have to be afraid of being taken to the gallows for anything. And Rob wonders why I am on edge all of the time. He has a cousin who is very neurotic and everyone gives a lot of flack about her. I must admitt I think her way is so extreme but I also understand why she is the way she is. In this family you screw up you are hung to dry. I know it is not meant to be mean or evil, but wow, I mean, cut some slack people.
Get real and then things may get a bit easier for everyone!
My daughter does not need to be lectured about her hair right after undergoing a huge heart proceedure. Rob and I do not need to hear about how it is okay for his brother to have pets but it is wrong for us to.
I am sick and tired of listening if only I were more like this sister in law who would rather die than ever ever ever really want to get to know me. But yet I am compared to here at every turn. I escaped one family like that only to have inadvertantly run into another family just like it.
HEY! I have always wanted to be an aunt! I always wanted to be there for kids to run to when they are mad at their folks. To have this great family kinship fun talk and real stuff with. Apparently, it was not in the hand of cards I was dealt in life. Sure, I have neices and a nephew. But I know I am considered trailer trash. Funny thing is, I had the exact same upbringing as they have now.
I had it all. Money was never an option. But it sure makes a terriable weapon so I denounced it all. My inheritance, my lineage, all of it.
And I married into a family just like the one I ran away from. Not all of them are like that though. But my inlaws make me consider suicide almost everyday.

Thursday, July 9, 2009 3:06 AM CDT

http://www.myspace.com/musicfromthebigpink

VELVET.
That song saved my sanity. Reading that NO one bothers to read or sign the guest book, I realize my thoughts are true.
I can say or do what I want. NO ONE who knows about Aizees page bothers to read nor comment.
Works for me. I love THE BIG PINK. VELVET is a song I would sell my soul for. The singer has the anemic big nosed, big eyed, half starved I love. The songs, I forget how old I am. The lyrics I dream about.
Anyway, it is four am. NO one here cares what time it is. NO one here cares anything about me. NO ONE CARES.
I mean, one mother worried we did not own Pinochio the movie. Same mom who did not care I was hurting through a miscarriaged and searched for an Auzzie shirt that I found later amd shredded. I mean, everytime I saw it it reminded me of my mother who did not care that my baby was dying inside of me, yes, I am lucky I have the three I do have. I know that. I never forget how lucky I am. Trust me!!!!! And I feel and hnurt for those who do not have their own babies! I see and know so much I make myself nuts!
Yet, I can NEVER EVER bond with my sister in law. or ever invite family here. NEVER ever.
She has a sister and brothers. She has happy happy land. Same as my brother. And I love it. I am all for the happy happy. I get angry when I get judged and doubted. Leave me alone and things are okay. Things get rough and all issues and judgement get turned to me, I get very angry and pissed.YES! I want credit and my due! I never try to steal anothers thunder. MY THUNDER has been taken over and over.
I HAVE given up so much. GRETEL and PONCHO. Two names to represent SO many other names. I fought. I sacrificed. I strove, ect. History will always come around again.
Got to give a lasting message. ONE that others actually hear. I realized, NO ONE hears or listens regardless. NO ONE cAres.
I can say The BIG PINK songs saved me this time.
The music they created is up there with NIN. Those who know me know how music saved and still saves me.
The Big Pink came to me while I was on the brink and I sought them out. They saved me like others before them.
I heard them. My choice was to die or seek them more. I chose The Big Pink. Not sure why. I know why NIN saved me. Thus MM in relationship. But The Big Pink, no idea why they stepped in my life and stayed my suicide. All I know is they are most awsom!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, July 1, 2009 1:19 AM CDT

Finally it got through to me how much I spread out myself.
Hahaha, I used to be the one most on top of music and all the styles. However, as a kid, I was ridiculed for it, until a Popular person agreed it was okay.
Anyway, there are those who are easy in life and explanation, then there are those who are not. I am of the latter form. We have a dish and in the spring when our tree blooms the channels hit and miss. Suffering from a hideous flu....NO NOT SWINE FLU that we know of...anyway, I decided to see what channels we did get. WOW, I hit upon MTV and MTV2 when they actually played music. And I hit them when they played music that I LOVED! Nothing against rap. I like certain songs and artists, but....
Well, When Aizee got dxed, music took a back seat. All of our time, energy and money went to her.
Still does. However, I do not even have a car stereo that works. I do not even own an ipod. The last new cd I got was a bday present and that was in January and I bought it myself.
I feel like I am doing somthing wrong...or have things wrong. I love music. I used to know how to play up to five instruments. I used to be on top of all of artists. Now when I hear a new band I learn they came out like 3 years ago. So, I guess I can chalk it up to karma. I used to feel so smug when I knew this or that beyond others. Gradually though, the things get flipped.
Ha, like today, I love Mathew and Jess, but wow, wouldn't it be awsome if we could all make our careers and fortunes then decide to have kids? And keep our figures? How would it be? And if there was an issue, say cancer, or any other problem, then wow, it is not on us! Damn those surrogate parents! NOT MY GENES! My FORTUNE and REP are in tact! To hell with those regular folks! Same with John and Kate Plus Eight and that other HUMUNGOUSE family....
What about us regular hard working HONEST folk who do our best. If it were not for family and friends to help we would be on the poverty pay list? Why do those who do so little get so much and those who suffer so much get so screwed?

Not to mention those you know for such a small time but make a huge impact on a life!
I took care of this woman who passed away and I am still devestated from it! To this day I find things I so want to discuss with her. Not to say we always agreed, but we had so much fun pointing out every angle. I so miss that!
Aizee goes in for heart reconsrtuction PROCEEDURE...do not mistake that for a SURGERY on July 7th. Tonight I had a heart to heart with Rob about my anger issues from the past to now. Not to say I don't want others involved but basically, I was the only one involved the entire time of Aizees issues until now. People who care now, where were you when she first got sick. where were you when they thought I was abusing her? where were you when she was nuetrapenic ect. Where were you through all of it? NO WHERE! Gifts great. Nuni came to help but she was so upset and all of that ( Basket Case) I had to tend to her along with the kids, pets, house, and not to kill my husband...
Not to say the gifts and well wishes where not welcome, but then I had not met most of you. It was like some person from a long ago photgraph sent a gift and you are told this is from so and so...and you are like, oh! Great Thanks! And it was a great gift, and the guilt of not being able to afford to send a similar gift, or remember to send a thank-you note or anything back, and the longer you regret not acknwledgeing the gift ect the greater the guilt...
Then you meet these people and they have these fantastic perfect houses and lives.
You realize you used to have that once. And your dream for your family and children and relatives was that way. It all got taken away. And ( yes hello english profs, sentences do not start with and, get over it or fuck off )
and, and you all fought for survival. and, wow, Rob and I beat the odds, despite how much hurt and betrayal happend, 90percent of cancer parents divorce.
We happen to have neighbors who now do what we always wanted. Like they are living the life we wanted. Along with relatives. However, we also lived in other regions. Hours away from people due to my almost being shot to death by a neighbor.
I guess I am hard to anger unless you judge me and mine.
I may not have a million school degrees or any of that. I do have a lot of life experience. I have known the low to the low, iI know the worst kings of gangsters, I can go into a ghetto and be okay. I can go into any posh house and fit in.
Where I get into trouble is when I actually want to be afraid of letting my guard down.
I am only being this weak because Aizee has to have her heart worked on in July. Here is a catch 22. if not for her cancer, they would never have done echos on her. But without the echos the heart issue would never have been known. A problem that could have killed her later in life. So....yay for Doxy or what? I mean, stop messing with my head!
Plus, give me credit for being the person I am. I have always wanted to be an aunt, and here, I am afraid to invite any relative to my house. West VS East!
I always wanted to be an aunt and I always wanted a sister in law. But how to talk to one who has the entire world at her feet? In fact, every single relative here has huge money jobs. Rob and I are considered the failures.
Every child dreams. What kid dreams of this?
I have a ton of friends who love us dearly and we love them.
I am okay with that. However, I was brought up with no family and I always dreamed of it.
My kids and us are okay. That is what matters!
Thanks for reading!
NEVER EVER FORGET the impact of friends
I had and still had friends during all of Aizees problems. I could have taken great advantage of them. However, they where young women like me, but still on the path of parenthood. Those friends who have always loved and cherished me as a friend and a soul confidant I did not want to pollute with the issues we had. And I am at times still hesitant to do so....
I have new friends here....I guess one day I should tell the story from start to end.
BUT To DEB! You have ALWAYS had my back and I will alway always always love you for that! Thank you!

Sunday, June 21, 2009 1:54 AM CDT

NOW I realize why no one visits here. It took me almost 15 minutes to just sign in with a simple message. I hope after venting I can remember the actual message!!!
I was pratically bullied into almost having my daughters immunizized for that cervical cancer shot. I said no. They tried to bully me into the flu shots ect. I said no. Yes, it reads weird. However, If one is a mother...regardless of age. Regardless of of envoronment. Ect. You are a mom. You know your child. You know what is what. However, you get bullied by 'proffessionals' (sp? my part) to tell you you are wrong and ignorant. you are bullied into thinking if they knew about you and your 'past' then blah blah'
When I was told of my daughters cancer Diagnosis, my father was outside the door pacing. It was during the 2002 preperations of the Olympics. I did not cry.
There are those who are all Micro Drama in explanations.
Then there are those who are just a thread of an embroidery string that is strung so along generations and frindships. I have many friends. And along these strings I am trying to reconnect then to now.
But for this one segment of this one strand
I did not cry. I was too afraid too. My dad was pacing in the hall and I sucked it down.~later in years I told my mother this and she told me how my father was so upset. Me, I was afraid to cry. I had known somthing was wrong with her for so long. I was even commited. MBP.
Now my folks have such a different tale about all events.
When one is raised in insanity...along with fighting the insanity of actual life...along with the insanity of Cancer, plus not being an advocate of any religion....
gol figure why I have always been the the srudge under the wheeles of life!
Thank you to those who Know me! Who understand! Or even if you do not understand, still love me and cherish me!
And still count me as a friend! rational or insane! You know who I am! I love you and thank you!

Friday, June 19, 2009 1:09 AM CDT

A lot of history in cliff notes here. I used to be linked to a lot of kids cb pages. Only to be told to take down the links due to predators to kids who stalked sick kids ect. I cut myself off so much to so many people. I have always been awful at birthdays, anniversarriese, spelling, that sort of stuff. Not in my wildest dreams would I ever think people would try to profit off of others generosity. iBut reading my local paper I found that it is a common thing. It really makes me upset. I know for myself why I never went after 'proceeds' ect. but to take advantage of others charitable goodwill? go figure why this planet is going to hell.
I hate cancer. However it is giving me an entire new perspective everyday on life and those around it.

Sunday, May 31, 2009 1:42 AM CDT

I used to count the register of how many times this page was read and tally it against the guest book notes. I used to read other kids pages on a mercy mission. I used to belong to MACS. Ect. I got overwhelmed. I used to be able to spell as well! Ask those who grew up with me! Yet I never fit in there either. I never used to care were I fit. I used to wear the clothes my mom would put me in that were in style when I was a kid. I just went along to get along. If someone messed with me, I could ignore it just so much until it would really make me angry and then I would strike back! Ha! Suspended off the bus! So on and so forth. I took care of kids. I listended and learned. I took college courses. I had extreme ideas about being a parent. HAha! I love Plankton in Spongebob episodes ( I went to college!!!) I also love Rocket Power. the old nick tunes! When I first had Banana, I thought this is what is what! I never counted on how another planned it to be! What I did not count on was how life can really give you a smack down on reality! Naive in true form!
I really do not pay attention to most things going on! I never thought myself that way until I got bitch slapped. Along with made afraid to seek help and guidance. I vent here because I realize since moving here I am not alone! We are made to feel afraid and alone. To feel lucky and guilty at the same time if our child lives! To feel at the mercy and angry hand in hand!
And I am wasting my time in explaining
if you want to know more, and do not want to post in the guest book go to gretelregretyahoo
The stress and how I can so vent about drs and f.....
I just want others to not feel lost and freakish like I had for so long!
propaganda need not apply!
er mess ups ect
I could so lose it and used to. But in reality, unless you live it, really. Unless you LIVE it, you really do not have a clue!
However, I love my friends who are there and understand! The ones who realize where I am coming from and do not pass judgement! Thankyou for realizing why I am the way I am!
Aizees heart will be okay!
If not, then you know when armeggedon has hit!

Sunday, March 8, 2009 3:04 PM CDT

It is sort of interesting for me, now.
Today, in Connecticut, at a place, there are tons of people going to get their heads shaved for donations. Proceeds go to fighing childhood cancer. I should go, but I won't. My daughter is doing great. I should be out there fighing for others kids. But at the time of my daughters crisis, we really had no one where we lived give a damn about her or us. Ironically now, living in CT for almost 6 years, I joined face book. Reconnected with a lot of people who still live where I used to live. When I most needed people, I had no idea anyone I knew was around.
I had no way of getting into contact, or searching or anything. I was all alone. Rob worked over 80 hours. I was pregnant when Aizee was dxed. We lived in an area that at the time had no internet availability. This was before wireless. And even if there had been wireless, we were too broke to afford it.
Family and the friends we did have tried to help, but most got scared and started to just avoid us.
I survived four years trapped alone with 3 kids. Either in a hospital room, Brianna stayed with my parents, or at the house.
It has just been the past couple of years that we got back to where things should have been all along.
Where we lived in Utah, we were treated like freaks and punished. That was the one main reason as soon as I could get away, I did. I miss Utah. However, I love it here now.
I just wish I had had access to reach out for support when I most needed it. I was treated like my daughters illness was no big deal. So, that is still in my head. Like it was no big deal. She wasn't 'that sick' ect. So, I got into the habit of avoiding things for cancer kids. And if I ever did go, I felt people thought I was taking advantage of recsources meant for really sick kids.
Even now, if I get upset, I get comments like, well, she's great now! Get over it. You are so lucky! Be thankful.
ect. it is not that I am not grateful, or we are lucky.
I know that we are. But that entire experience will always be tainted and haunt me. I could go shave my head. Big woop. What parents of cancer kids really need are people who really can understand the rage, frustration, helplessnes, loser quality feelings without a lot of preaching. The whole bible thumping stuff, needs to go. A parent of a cancer child already feels horrid and guilty. Someone preaching scripture or telling them to pray harder, don't lose hope or belief only makes it worse.
I am here today with a healthy child. I told God if he took her, I would be up there kicking his ass.
I am no longer in a rage with God. But I do get angry with religion. It should not be used as a weapon during peoples greatest time of need.
If you do decide to do whatever call for whatever charity, keep in mind to be a real person while doing so, find who and why you are doing it, and actually be real and talk to them about whatever the charity is about. Don't cut tail between legs and run. That is like only going to church on easter Sunday thinking it absolves you of all sins

Thursday, January 22, 2009 10:02 PM CST

Howdy! Aizee is doing awsome! Done with the five year watch! YAYA!
Brianna and Remy are doing great as well. This entire family is doing awsome!
Hope you and yours are doing great as well. :)
Have a Yippee day!
Thanks for visiting us.

Saturday, July 5, 2008 0:28 AM CDT

Hello out there. Just quick and brief. I will do a better job of explaining things later. As usual.

First off Happy Fourth of July to everyone in America.
And to those who live in other places. Happy Day!

Aizees health is good.
I guess one reason I avoid here is due to a few factors.
One is, the survivor guilt. That goes hand in hand with not being of a church, religion going nature.
The movie 1408 devastated me. It brought forth how I felt. My child is alive and others are not.
This ties into the whole thing about the privacy laws.
I am not talking about drs and nurses, receptionist and secretaries ect blabbing away willy nilly to everyone about what is going on behind closed doors.
I am talking about the barrier of communication between people in the same situations in same place and similar places. People talking, they trade tales and notes. Real time. The stories add up. Not just newly DXed people. But those who are there for follow-ups, relapses, you name it.
I know from reading countless pages and talking to so many people.
I also know that I am one of the few in a unique position. That position is all about the hospitals. Not only the hospitals, but the staff. Hospital locations. The main locations and the clients. They all operate so different.
There are countless cases from other countries brought here to America. How can those new here judge?
No one talks in a Cancer Ward. Everyone is too busy with platitudes of well wishes ect. Going to church and praying.

Just recently talking to Yale drs. I learned about how not only the patient can suffer Post Trauma, but also the family.
So for me, that is one reason I stay away from here. Hand in hand with God. I do not tie into any organized belief. I'd feel too much a faker.

Along with wanting to vent about things like going to the beach. No enjoyment there for me or my kids. Standing vigil over trying to keep up with the forever garbage flung out to sea. Along with trying to protect the sea life from kids who want to squash sea life while the elders turn a blind eye.d

All about cycles you know. Lack of communication. Lack of trust.

Saturday, May 24, 2008 0:31 AM CDT

I have too much to say and not sure how to say anything.


I'll try to start my thoughts and hope to continue them gradually. Sort of like the way English teachers or drama teachers would make one start. Get an idea, start a rough draft, then do a summary. The summary had to be noted ect...
Basically a lot of drafts to be mixed together for the finale. Hoping to pass the grade.

Whatever. Too many variables.

First off, if anyone still reads here, Thank-you. I so mean that. MACS is awsome. I know that thank-you's are not an issue there, but for me it is. The total love and gifts and out pouring of strangers...for me was overwhelming. ~ Ties in with a lot I have learned and gotten over, along with new things I want to vent about....
People who scam charity. Ect...
So many variables...
Let me try to organize my thoughts.
Try to hang with me here. I want to say bear or bare with me....which one?

Not sure how to explain this.
In real life, talking to people about kids with cancer... mostly freaks them out. Variations are, they treat you like a contagion. Freaks, or try to convert you to a church. Variables. Aizee got DXed in the middle of other crap. Now that we are settled here, if she got dxed here, the entire outcome of of the emotional side of it would be entirely different. Robs family here is huge. Patient and tolerent. I am not dissing the West. I have wonderful thoughts, memories and hopes ect.
Yet when people ask me how is Utah compared to here, I say it is like Pluto ( yes, to me, Years of Pluto being a planet, in my book it is!!)

Pluto meet Mars.

Meaning two entire worlds hitting and meeting.
Both have thier good and the bad.
It is what went on with the lives on either planet.
Every country has states. Every state has cities. Every city has towns. Ect. The entire world as we know it boils down to individuals. Every individual has their life and thier opinion on it. It is all of us coming together that forms a community. However, despite age, or benefits, there are those of us who are educated in some ways... be it abuse, secular education, whatever, that take a bit longer to understand how some things work. For me, you do not throw trash on the ground. You just do not do that. Or your butts either. Yet those same people who just ignore this or do this go to church every Sunday.
See someone walk in the rain. Not a random stranger either and yet are too busy to offer a ride. Or if you are the one to offer a ride and someone learns of it later, feel bad from thier ridicule and judgment.
Everyone is so open with judgment, but not up to steadfastness. I laugh at religious people.
Do not laugh at others as you may be the one laughed at yourself. Does anyone care anymore? Even charity groups are asking for charity? Yet our future canidates are begging for millions still for election. Whatever happend to Taxation without representation? Oh ya, that went out with education. The number one cut of budgets. Not only is our national government out of control. Ours in America and other countries. I love America. I love what it stood for. I say stood for. Saddly, for the last decade or so, no government has been for education.
Number one in History, what is the question? Why do you learn history?
The right answer is : To learn the mistakes of the past
One mistake of the past is Education.

Keep the masses poor. Keep them in fear. You keep them in control. Money is not the root of all evil. GREED is.

Cut education cut earnings. Keep people inferior. Then you keep control. I may sound insane. Fine, look around yourselfs.
I typed a huge page of thoughts, but realized most of what I typed was not okay.
I'll get there. Figure the right way out. Thank-you for caring! Off to read other pages.
I so wish links where okay. Or if they are now, I so need to learn that trick!!!
Thanks for stopping by and have a Yippee day!!!

Sunday, September 9, 2007 2:11 AM CDT

Hello out there.
Aizee is doing fine. Her echo graphs seem to be fine for now. Her recent regular ped. check up was fine. Except her vision.
Her endodontist she has to see again for her teeth. For the root canals to be done without the front teeth turning grey..or gray. Whatever.
She loves dancing. Her dance classes start again this next week. She seems to be a natural for soccor despite drop foot. Her swim lessons, swim team started today.
She loves 2nd grade. She comprehends her lessons. The issue is being able to express what she is learning in the way she is supposed to.
I realized one reason for my ongoing fear. A great friend of mine in this state was very frank about it.
It took so long for her dx previous. So much doubt, so much eyebrow raising. So many questions. ect. So much transpired in so many ways from her starting to get sick.
Along with all the accusations. And her really odd reactions to medications. SO on and so forth.
I am so afraid of any of that transpiring again. I feel that being forever vigilant, double time will prevent a relapse. We all know how full of folly that is. Still. The fear is real. And if we had been here and established when all had transpired, I know for a fact things would have been much different. All the way around.
We were not here though. However, through feeling established, and connected from living here now, with the wonderful friends and community, along with family close by, fear is slowly but surely abating.
Connecting with other families and lending a hand, comfort, resources is the goal now.
This family deeply cherishes the friendships established here.
Thank-you for reading
Have a Yippee Day! :)

Monday, July 23, 2007 4:44 PM CDT

Hello out there. Aizee is doing great!
She is having a wonderful summer!
In fact, except for a few odd things here and there, everyone is having a great summer.
Also, I just learned today that my neice donated her hair to locks-of-love.
Not sure what inspired her to do that, but it still teared me up just the same.
I hope everyone out there is having a good summer and that things are going well with you and yours as well.
Thanks for visiting us.
Have a Yippee Day!!!

Monday, July 2, 2007 11:11 PM CDT

My daughter can be really crazed. Lately, I am at a stand-still of how to handle it. My own issues, along with being
ADHD myself complicate things. Her behaviour at times goes a bit beyond normal. WAY beyond normal. So beyond she almost seems to be autistic at certain times.
I am hesitant to approach her pediatrician or other doctors with this. Since it seems everytime somthing is wrong with her, they only acknowledge it retrospect.
Everything with her is retrospect. OH YA, by the way, (later) we now acknowledge this that or the other.
I want to do somthing NOW. But am afraid to.
I have had it with the medical field.
Everyone is out for their own Cover Your ass prospect.
It is either medicine, science or religion.
No common denominator. All or nothing.
How about it all joining together for the greater good?
Life is good. ALL life. ( ALL for everything on the planet and not the peice of bad word cancer t cell or b cell )

The planet earth. Evolving. For the greater good.

People bury themselves in religion. Amongst other things.
To deal with stuff. Whatever it is.
The more life gets crazy, techknowledgy ect, the less communication there is.
The less actual communication the more crazed things get.
Life is all about connection. People need to shed fears and connect more. In real time. Not Life time soap opera time.

Saturday, June 23, 2007 1:38 AM CDT

Just so everyone knows,

Our computer crashed. Usually no big deal. However, I had let someone borrow our re-boot discs....no one has any idea what happened to those discs. With everything else going on lately, neither Rob nor I have had time to get the computer taken care of. Or, when we do have time, there is somthing else going on, we either forget or put it off.

SO, that means recently, ( hehe, about a few months )we have been trying to use an older computer ( my folks gave it to our girls )

It has been such a pain to deal with that basically we just don't bother.

Trying to read or respond to e-mail, scan new pictures, anything freezes it all up.

It is a catch. In all honesty, everyday stuff keeps us so busy that it is easy to put off getting the new computer taken care of. Famous last words by next school year I know.

Anyway. The doctors told us that the blood leaking around Aizees heart is not to be worried about right now. That the percentage is too low to worry about.

I won't go into my personal thoughts on any of it.
I'll save you all that.

Thanks and have a nice day. :)


Oh, here is a tangent I will sort of get into.
The bear prints on her page are for the Grizzly killed.


I am not saying having a child killed by an animal is not awful.

I am saying, people should start paying attention. To stop reacting.
To take a step back and see how and why things are.
When Aisalynn was DXed, I was so angry with God, the universe, everything.
I was so angry. Along with just trying to keep her alive. I had to put aside my qualms of the chemo given to her.
The qualms that happend on so many levels.
I am an avid animal lover. One major qualm was the knowledge of how chemo drugs are created. The research, the animals used to create such medicine. Ect. On going cycle. The use and disposal of medical waste. The pollution, the garbage, ect.
I could over-look it. I wanted to be angry. Being angry helped me quiet the qualms. Through my fear and anger, I have come to realize, unfortunantly perhaps we have all brought it upon ourselves. Insecticides for the perfect yard. Disposable toilet cleaner heads. Everything instant and disposable. Want to get rid of pesky ants without work? here is a poison to do so for you! Flys? Whatever, here is a spray for this that and the other.

Unfortunantly, society has gotten to be quick fix. Along with catering to cheap. Here is a cheap quick way to rid you of your problem. Wink wink Nudge Nudge Trust us!!!!!!!!!! We know what we are doing sort of advertising. Question anything about somthing popular get branded a name.

I look back on my education. About ecosystems. About how things worked.
Being in school, The schools I went to.
With the "prestige" of my class-mates.
The rich and famouse. OH the tales I could tell. Of whos who.
My mother would lament that I could be tops to them if only I would let her do me over. My response then and now was I never wanted friends due to what I wore or who I was. My mom, she tried her best.
I went green then and always have been.

Yet, when Aizee got Diagnosed, it shattered so much. Now it seems someone has somthing going on. This is what I mean about taking a step back.

Even for myself. With my outsourced Titanium and the lead poisoning.
If people where not so desperate in need to get ahead, to be ahead, to have 'all that' to show for things,
Outsourcing is not a good thing.

If people could follow the blue-print of mother nature in the ecosystem..

HINT: Don't want a shark attack? Stay out of the OCEAN!!!! Don't want a Bear to attack you? Stay out of the forest!!!!

Don't want wild life in your house?


Lets stop building up in open lands! Stop letting big strip malls and Corporations drain wet lands. Down forests! Invade oceans.

Humans are only one of a world of species here. All of us, That includes animals and bugs, insects, ect.
ALL of us where given this bueatiful present.
It is called Earth. All of us need to take care of it.
This means things like No more cig butts thrown out windows. Putting out poison for Raccoons and skunks.
No more allowing greedy corps to destroy nature for cheap easy deals. Ect.

In the end, all it means is with the waste and quick easy disposal, more and more of kids, ect will get cancer and or some sort of ailment.

I am all for preventitive measures.

We all live here. Lets find other ways to co-exist.

Tuesday, May 15, 2007 10:45 PM CDT

Today was quite the day.
I learned that Abuterol can make my child a spazzhead.
Of course. Given the rarest side effect of any medication, she is the one who reacts to it.
It is a catch. On the one hand, yes, that sucks. On the other hand, since it has happend SO much there are no more questions about it. On the most part, she went through all her chemo and all of that hell pretty easy. She only reacted to the odd things, not the major things. And as you all know, it is the major that are the most deffinining in surviving anything.

We met another family just starting out in surviving childhood cancer. She hugged me and thanked me for the insight and caringbridge and MACS.
She told me she had yet to meet another mother or another child suffering with this cancer. Thus another way this hospital is totally different than our previous one.
Childrens hospitals things are segregated due to affliction.
Oncology and Hemont....you pretty know what is going on there.
Here, everyone with a child suffering from anything is there. Along with privacy laws, ect. A lot of isolation.
Also, a new family starting down the rabbit hole, cancer still seems pretty rare....after a year or so, it seems all you know is someone sick, or with a sick kid or somthing.
It's not that birds of a feather flock together on purpose. But it is nice to be around people who can relate and understand exactly this weird twisted fear and stress that shroads life, even if not actively acknowledged.

Also, another mystery is unfolding. Aizees echocardiograhm.
Never saw the odd drama that totally came out of left field today surrounding it.

" No, nothing major to worry about, but she needs to be followed up on Right away. Do not worry though. How soon can she come in again? "
Along with they can not get any record of any of her previous scans. And forget the records from the Other hospital. The one she went to prior to her dx.
According to them, she never ever went there. Nor was she born there...?????!!!!
Nope, Most of the records of other kids born there her year are fine and dandy. She seems to been blipped off the map.
hmmmm.....
Would be nice to get all of her records together to at least create some sort of map to follow. Somthing.
All I want is for her and every child to be fine.
Everyday stuff happening, that is life, but to add this or that into things...
This is why I get free movies and books from the library.
I pay enough for real life drama. No need to pay extra for any more at a movie theater! :P
I used to crindge at " Bubble gum happy, the ending makes everything so cute and lovey dovey " type of anything.
However, slowly I can sort of see the charm in that.
Make the in your face life can be hell and this is why for those who have no clue and the happy happy joy joy for those of us who realize it already.

I'll let you know more about Aizees heart when she has her not important ASAP follow up.

Thank-you for visiting us.
Have a Yippee day!

Any guestbook entries, I will read, and respond to any e-mails next week when I get my other computer back up and running!

Monday, May 14, 2007 5:48 PM CDT

Hello all. I have not been able to read Aizees guestbook for a very long time now. Our new computer was crashed by a corrupt disk...ironically one that was supposed to protect it. Our '98 windows has a glitch, so hahahah, now dealing with windows 95. It can't download the GB.
The next week or so will see to it that our other computer is fixed! This is also why many e-mails have gone unanswered.


Anyway, hope everyone had a wonderful mothers day. I sure did. Beautiful as always. With the three wonderful Angels I have, no way can anything other than Excitement and Adventure happen!

Tommorow will be a long day for me. Not for Aizee. She is excited.
Weird. Is my child the only one out there Not terrified of hospitals and doctors? She actually looks forward to it.
Whereas I DREAD IT! She has the entire day between appointments planned.

Echocardiogram at 8:45 a.m. Then to Oncology and Vanhoff. CBC. Her physical. Then a break, then to Pulminology.
She has double checked about the Cheet-o status.
She gets Cheet-o's here, but apparently Hospital Cheet-o's are different or somthing. I have no idea.
But hey, as long as it all goes well, who am I to complain.

Love and Hugs to all of you and yours.
Thank-you for visiting us.

Have a Yippee Day!

Oh, and to anyone who wants an author who is a bit different,
I recently found books by Ted Dekker. WOW!!!!!

Tuesday, April 24, 2007 4:47 PM CDT

Aisalynn went to the dentist today. Rob took her since I was working today.

I guess the nerve that was damaged in her front tooth is starting to die. They had to gas her to numb her up to inject some sort of nerve regeneration into her tooth.
She informed me when I got home that the gas smelled like strawberries. Interesting. Scented laughing gas?
And that her face felt 'cottoning' afterwards.
She isn't worried at all that she could lose her front tooth. She always wanted to be a pirate. Guess her wish may come true! :P

Brianna is the top of her class. Remy is fighting all efforts of pre-kindergarten education.
Life and stuff. Fun!


Have a Yippee day!

Monday, April 23, 2007 10:58 PM CDT

Aizee is doing fine. She gets her teeth checked in the morning. Fingers crossed. :)

Tuesday, February 13, 2007 10:01 PM CST

Aizees counts are fine.

And I also now know I am 'normal' and will be fine eventually as well.

Apparently THERE is such a thing as post shock for parents with a child who has survived cancer. Funny thing though is that usually it comes earlier and gets taken care of earlier than with my situation.
It has taken me longer than usual to react to events then.
Also longer to actually inquire about it and look for help.

After talking to Aizees doctors about it today I feel more confident and reasured than I have for quite awhile.

heheh, to be told it is 'normal' to feel a wreck NOW.

At least I know it is not all in my head and I am not being some sort of drama queen or whatever.

I even met a woman who told me it took her 11 years to start feeling 'okay' again.

Fine. I do not want to wait that long, BUT, if it takes that long and things start to feel fine again, I am all for it!!!

Happy Valentines day to everyone.

I also visited with my daughters Principal who was also in the hospital with her son.

That visit sort of triggered the top of my emotions. ANd actually caused me to talk about my feelings.
The doctors thought I was afraid of what was going on with her son would happen to my daughter.
See, every visit I would be should I not or should I talk about how I feel now....
When I got the good news that all was well, I would just let it go and chalk my feelings as me being all dramatic.
And the fear of her Pre DX and all that transpired help wheigh the scales on letting it go.
Today though, I know what is going on with him is not the same as my daughter, but the fear is the same. And the whole helpless feeling of any child afflicted and also that as a parent or for another parent.

I never got the chance to deal with the whole emotional side of things when Aizee got sick. And when she got better, I figured I would and should feel fine too.
But it is somthing that just won't go away unless dealt with.
So, I am. The person I was pre and during and even after is not who I was before.
I can't wait to stop being such a mess!!!!

I am going to ask my friend if I can link her sons page here.

Hearing and reading about their experience is a learning lesson on so many levels.

Thank-you for visiting us.

Have a Yippee day!!!

Monday, January 15, 2007 10:01 PM CST

I wrote an entire thing, then thought, eh, who cares.
Why add to the fodder for fire.

The thing about filing for bankruptcy had to do with years ago, but our credit is still paying for it.

I figured out that if we had NOTHING and stuff, we would be home free.
But we pay double than anyone else does and that is just money.

No room for people like me emotionally.
About God this or God that.

Let me also make note to the person who prompted this entry.

For him who I will not mention by name.


I was raised in a very Wealthy environment.
Very wealthy and secluded.
Hey, if you along with all of your friends where being neglected and molested...who knows it is wrong?
If you never where given a blue print for a steady foundation, you strive for one on your own.
And HA, I try to be respectful of all in this family.
That is why I strive NOT to talk to any of the family.
I respect your blue print on how you want things to be.
I shy away and hide in the shadows, or behind a magazine.
Who wants to talk to or hear from ME?
I am not Worth anything right?
RIght now, my bank account renders me usless.
What insight to anything do I have to offer to anything right?
Only the ones who have a clue have x amount of dollars to be able to have anyting useful to offer right??
Along with shame and gratitude.
I am grateful for all offered to me and mine. Do not get me wrong.
Along with that comes shame. And defience.
I am wishing I could match gifts. To match what I had then to what I offer now.
To be equal. To Measure up.
Not being able to measure up is a humility check for me.
Also a learning lesson. TO learn how to treat others with out judgement or scorn.
Aizees illness knocked me to a place of learning. Of tolerance. A place of acceptence. Unfortunantly, only other people of a child who almost and unfortunantly died did I realize the road of intolerance I was on.
My one quirk that disconnects me to most on either side, Like Alice and The looking Glass is I do not follow church.
I do not follow a religion and I do not have money to back me up on any side.

I do not follow the parameters on anything. Thus, I am the enigma. HA!
To know how exhausting that is!

All I ever wanted was normal.

Just to be okay in life. To be accepted.
To trust.
Ha, but ya, instead of calling your kin on what you read, to talk to the source, TOO SCARY???
TOO connected? Too What?
You went third party on it.
Goes to show me, regardless of how much I strive for connection, I will always get smacked in the face for my efforts.

" Give a man a fish he eats for a day. Teach a man How to fish he not only eats on his own forever, but can also help others to survive "



Anyway....I should go back to the rabbit hole.
I do not belong on this side of the glass or wherever.

Have a Yippee Day.

Thursday, January 4, 2007 1:11 AM CST

Happy New Year Everyone.

Aizees ear drum ruptured. Yay.
Know my New Years Wish?
To no longer live in fear or to feel like a freak.


Ever since, even prior to her diagnosis, everyone around us played it off like no big deal.
I had no support. All of my friends had moved to other states and really did not know what was going on.
Everyone local acted like it was no big deal.
No one treated it like anything at all.
For me, this is my child and I had this plan for being a parent.
Not an exact plan. Not a toe the line type of thing, but an outline.


My question is, is there such a thing as post traumatic stress for parents?
When Aizee was diagnosed, I was instantly introduced to survival.

Do not get me wrong. I believe in a higher power.
I just do not believe in all the rules of religion.
To understand this, understand my life was not normal.
I believe all beliefs can live in harmony.

My odd beliefs segregate me from a lot of believers.
Ect.


People run from cancer as a rule.
But childhood cancer, well, NO one wants to hear about it.
I know. I was one of them.

You feel upset upon hearing it. Then you are like
better their child and not mine thing
ect. Donate blood, this that or the other.
But no one wants to know or hear about it.
The fear.
Hey, it is not their life....
YOU are the whacko.
Everyone wants things tidy. To put blame. Where it lays.
A tidy reason for whatever.
For me, a nice neighbor informed me if I was a MORMON, My child would not have cancer.
I do not blame my lack of words for my lack of love for mormons on her. At all. I was raised in Mormon land. My childhood was in the middle of mormonville.
Difference in life and all.


Recently though, I realized, I am thinking I am going through all the emotional stuff I did not go through when she was diagnosed.
I was accused of child abuse at first. I was in the hospital for over a week.
She was diagnosed February 22 at 2 a.m. 2002.
I remember NOT crying because my dad was there. And I was so freaked out, if I cried and he lectured me or got mad at my crying at her illness, I would have destroyed the place.
So, I handled it. I kept it in.
NO one was there for me prior. NO one but me would deal with it now.
I dealt with it.
ARAC or whatever. Any of the drugs injected into her.
Or the times I sat on her chest to put in an NG tube.
Crying silently.
ARAC. I still have the extra suits. And the HAZMAT kit.
In my attic now. I found it the other day. Looking for
A WISH FOR WINGS THAT WORK by Berkely Breathed
to read to my kids.
Monty Python and Berkely Breathed are my heros
I cried when Grahamn Chapman died.
anyway
It was Christmas Eve. I wanted to read them a great Real tale. I can no longer buy Red Ranger Came Calling :(

Our house payment is double than normal. We filed bankruptcy due to Aizees medical costs.

I work for Kiddie Kandids and hated it.
The parents who bitched and moaned about this or that with thier kids. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH
Reality check with the universe.
If more people had a clue about life or stopped running away from the fear of it. Or
STOPPED treating those who have lived to hell and back
Empathy and that caring returned


Yes, I am living the emotions I did not let myself experience when my child was diagnosed. I was TOO busy keeping her alive and taking care of my other kids.

And now, her Principal. I remember clear as a bell her tale of her son almost dying, stage three ect. Ended his five year watch.
Everything was GREAT for them all.
Now they are in Idaho and he is dying.
Bad words to follow.




BAD WORDS HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!





I typed them and erased them


BUT

SCREW CANCER
SCREW THE FEAR



CONSTANT FEAR



AAAAAAA
To deal with somthing I know what i am dealing with.

Saturday, December 23, 2006 2:03 AM CST

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I am SO sorry everyone!!! I want to say EVAREEEBODDDEEEE
(imagine with a Muppet tone there!!! :P )
Have a Wonderful Christmas everyone!

The true meaning of LOVE!!!


Anyway!!!!
Okay! Let me tell the tooth story first!!!

Friday nights are movie night. The kids take turns picking a video. Either we buy a cheap vhs they have never seen before, or we watch one they have not watched ages ago.

I buy them because 4 bucks to rent or 3 bucks to buy it??
And vhs since my kids no matter how smart and wonderful they are still really do not understand DO NOT TOUCH THE DVDS!!!!

Okay, Brianna goes to dance from 6-7 Friday nights. Thanks to my mom!
We get home and I am like, go upstairs and get Jammies on while I let the dogs out. I will cook dinner then we will watch the movie.
I am a bit anal about how late they stay up. Since they have a tendency to get overly tired thus way hyper and out of control.
My kids do not stay up late and sleep in. regardless of when they go to sleep, they are up by 7 am the latest.
Anyway, I come back in and I hear Brianna freaking out at the top of stairs. I hear her and see Aisalynn.
I hear Brianna yelling Aizee fell and got hurt very bad!!!
I hear her and see Aizee. Aizee is just standing there with her hands on her mouth. Not making a sound.
Okay, Brianna is pure drama. She loves to over react and tease ect. On the other hand, Aizee is so not one to mention any sort of pain AT ALL regardless.
I go up the stairs. Being a mom, you always have to check it out right?
No matter what?
I take Aizees hands from her face and the blood decided to pour out everywhere right then. I see her fat lip. And I am calm. I know face things bleed more than what the actual injury is. I see her lips and poke around trying to determine if she bit through them.
Me, I hear from Brianna behind Aizee saying she tripped and fell while twirling around.
Okay, we live in a house built in 1900. The tops of everything are hard wood. Real wood. The top of the banisters, the floors ect.
I ( silly me right? ) Assumed ( ass oout of you and me as my teacher taught it ) she hit her mouth on the top of our banister.
Anyway, while I am checking for holes in the lips. I noticed her top adult teeth are not where they should be. nor are they on the floor. I walked to the wall that was built with a cabinent in it, got about 4 washcloths out, walked back. told Aizee to put one in her mouth and hold another one. I put two in my pocket and told the girls to get coats and shoes on. We are going to the hospital. ( Homey don't mess with teeth YO!!! :P )
All of that happend within five or less minutes. I say five because it is a nice concise number.

On the way there, I am calm. I ask Brianna how did Aizee break her teeth on the railing?
Brianna told me Aizee had done it in her ( Brianna's room) by dancing around with her eyes closed. Our windowsills are lilke 4 inches out there!!

Emergency room stuff. Ya'll been there and ya'll know this that and the other.
The staff keep making comments on how calm and easy Aizee is and how quiet and calm I was.
I informed them Unfortuantly both of us had been trained for hospitals. I did take note that I was instantly emotionally exhausted when this happend. I told her Oncologist and he told me it was normal. Whatever the hell normal is?

So, they at first could not find her teeth. And when I hear them say they can not find her teeth, I am like, well, shit, I thought she hurt herself at the top of our stairs. I Never went into Briann's room. So, through my mind, I am like CRAP!
Did not look there, did not find teeth to save for child!!

ARGG!!! AHGAGHAGGA

I am kicking myself mentally then I hear, OH! There they are!
They had to pull them back forward to place them from --
to || in her gums.
I was told to call an ortho dr Right Away!
I get everyone home and to bed by12 am or so.
I call Yale and am told they have a dental dr on call.
I debate. Everyone is asleep, I am exhausted, BUT
the next day, she could lose her tooth!
And I will have all three!
What a mean Mommy!
So, I get Aizee up and off to Yale. 30 minutes later!
Walking to the hospital, my purse breaks all over the place!
GROWL!
Then, apparently I had parked in the wrong place and NO one is helpful at this hospital. NO one ever is, but it is worse at this time of night (homesick for Primarys even more!! )
find the emergency room
Ooops, we do not know who you talked to but we do not have a Pedi ortho on call! Our mistake. Sorry!
}:{ GRRRR!
Come back in the morning.
So, Rob takes her in the Am. Oops, we do not have the facilities here to tend to this.
Ect.

Anyway, NOW she is fine!!!!

As are the rest of us.

So, there is the Tooth Drama!


I love all of you!
Have a Fantastic Holiday!!!


Thanks for visiting!

Have a YIPPEE DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Monday, November 20, 2006 10:56 PM CST

hehe, I must say a few things first.
One is, Sorry for a long wait on up-dates. And for not signing guest books. I was for a bit, but for some reason, since I live in CT and not NY or wherever, no connections made.
But that is life. It is busy.
Also, I found out the reason for the whole fundraiser snafu.
The owner of The Blue Fish had delegated the duty to an assistant and he dropped the ball. A lot of firings happend at the end of the season. BUT, let me say, when I mentioned Fundraiser to CB people, I got a ton of queries and stuff. When I told them it may not happen, NO questions or responses back at all.
I mean, I felt like crap anyway. All hyped up about putting childrens cancer in peoples faces. Education sort of thing.
YES, THIS CAN HAPPEN TO YOU!!!!!!
But also to announce places like CB and MACS, QUILTING ANGELS ect to the world. A lot of New York City comes to the arena.
Hell, bands like THE WHO play there.
BIG NAMES! I am thinking word to the world, not just money to a wallet!
So, as it stands now, Next season, they are all gung-ho for it. For me, I have learned yet another lesson.
I have learned many along my road in life.
Through my own living and learning and through my children and experiences.
Always the tight rope. Tampering that enthusiasim with a touch of caution. But not so much as to kill the excitement. All very touch and go.


Aizees counts are good. It seems each time I meet her Doctor, the more we loosen up towards each other.
For me though, I am not sure how to meet others with my experience who are not either mourning their dead child or all into the bible.
I am sorry folks. I just can't go there.
Maybe childhood cancers are like that rubix cube thing. Or some other puzzle. There are connections made, but for those really odd ones out, we are the one peice that takes awhile to figure out where we go!
Yes, my daughter is doing great!
But every little thing, is it cancer side-effect related or you and genetic make-up?
Ever since she was born, I was always like what in the world!

I took care of other children from 11 years of age.
I read books, I went to courses. I volunteered.
I went to college.
Over 13 years worth of various childhood care.
Brianna came and to this day, I have this instinct with her. From day one. Aisalynn.....Even before Diagnosis.
OR, maybe we did have that instinct, but since her birth was so rough and from the get go there was difficulties and a lot of doubt cast my way I just stopped tuning in.
And now, I have no idea how to tune in anymore.



ANYWAY.....
About three weeks or so ago.....

Brianna takes dance late on Fridays (thank-you grandmaand Grandpa)



Friday night is their movie night. They are both Excellent at school. Students of the month, top grades etc ( except Aizee has some Comprehension things) anyway

Get home, I send all three upstairs. " Get Jammies on while I take the dogs out. Then I will cook dinner then we will watch our movie!"
CT....hahahha, neighbors, did I mention those lots of times?
From ACRES of land to what? Squat? And you can't even do that without say EVERYBODY seeing you!!!!!

Well, we have a new found dog hater amongst us. Not just me. Every person on this block with a dog.
What kills me is they can not tell you who is complianing.
And thanks to my Copper Friends from working D and D over nights, anyone in this state can make up any tale about anyone and that is that. GREAT!!!!

Anywho.....it took 5 minutes ( yes I know this for a fact )
to go out with the dogs and come in to find Aizee at the top of the stairs.
With her two top Permanent teeth horizontal inside her mouth vs verticle. YAY. Off to the hospital yet again.

Does anyone read this or care anyway what happend????


Guess you have to put a letter in her guest book or e-mail me to find out what happend after that!!!!




Lots of Love. Enjoy your Thanksgiving.

Watch The History Channles " Worst Jobs In History "
If you really want to know how the world was!

Have a Yippee Day!!!!

Wednesday, September 20, 2006 11:05 PM CDT

First of all, THANK-YOU EVERYONE FOR MAKING AIZEES BIRTHDAY SO
AWSOME!!!!!!

She loved everything. I am keeping every single card, note, picture, letter, present, etc. For a few reasons. One is so eventually I can send out the ever late thank-you cards. Second, so when she is older, she will have a better understanding of the awsomeness from others.
Also, so I can show others and express the wonderfulness of people in the world.
ECT.
Those of you who have viewed my hand-writting can see how hard it is for me to write. Especially compared to when Rob sends the thank-you's out.
I got new printer ink since I figured typing would be easier and prettier looking.
But, hahah, lost the stupid disk that lets my computer know I have a printer. We had to re-boot the whole system and that is one thing we can't re-install at this time. MOST annoying. Hopefully resolved soon.
Also, he and I are both working two jobs. We work our hours out so that either one of us is home with the girls, or his parents are availiable to care for them.
Just got to do extra to get things done beyond basic survival. How the times are lately.

SO, about Aizees life right now, and her sisters.
My mom and dad are paying for them to go to dance classes. It has been a desire of both Aizee and Brianna's since they were little.
I was all ready to sign them up when Aizee got DXed.
I never sent Brianna since, well, I did not want Aizee to feel punished for being sick. Also, germaphobic. Did not want anything coming home with Brianna to harm her sister.
But Aizee has always been in love with ballet. She loves it. Dreamt it. Every request when you ask her what she wants present wise is a pair of blue ballerina slippers and a blue ballerina outfit. The best I could do was buy certain dolls in that get up. I could never find one for her. And the one time I did, I did not buy it since I figured it would be a cheap shot. Hahaha, here is your outfitt, but tough on the lessons. I think too much.
Anyway, this year, Robs parents got her a Cinderella Twirling Doll in the dream outfit that Aizee always wanted. Plus Cinderella is her hero.
One of my new found friends since moving here hooked me up to a great dance school. Cheap, and professional.
My own aunt is a dance instructor. She works cheap, no contracts, easy going atmosphere and now owns a ton of her own studios.
This school is a lot like her set up.
When my mom said they would pay, it was a go.
All three girls get to go. Aizee and Remy on one day, Brianna on another.
They LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT!
Remy seems to be picking it up a bit faster, but it may be her age as well.
But when I watch, I can tell Aizee is really focuses. SHE IS GOING TO DO THIS! That is her expression. So beautiful!
Last night was meet the teacher night at their school.
Rob and I had to split up since it was only one hour. For everyone in second and first grades. Poor Single parents. And when I mentioned to the principal that perhaps it should be changed to another hour longer for that reason, and also so each parent can meet a teacher, she was very rude and flipant about it.
She who drives a brand new Lexus. Whatever.
But after meeting the teachers, my stress is alleviated. At home, Aizee seems to have difficulty, but at school she shines like a star. Perhaps at home, she is sick of being the roll model, the learner, sick of school period. I would get a bit tough on her. After talking to her teacher directly, I am so PROUD of her and now will back off and realize, home is where she just wants to be her. No pressure, ect.
Same with Brianna.
See,. with Aizee, she is so smart and notices the wildest things. She expresses herself and her thoughts, ideas everything ...but not the way schools expect kids to. OR so I thought. At school, she gets right to it.
At home, Brianna talks non-stop and is always antagonizing her sisters.
And is flipant, talks back, everything. At school, exact opposite.
Amazing.

OH, and there was a parent or two that e-mailed me about Aizees cronic cough., I e-mailed back once or twice, but then got WAY busy and sort of blew them off.
My apologies. Rob and I are working so much, and doing so much here....
We do not mean to be that way.
Also, the whole fundraiser thing for now seems to be a bust.
FOR NOW.
It is a baseball team after all and the weather has been really bad recently.
If it does not happen this year, we are guaranteed for next year.
ya, patience and waiting is so not my style, but what can ya do eh?

Thank-you again everyone for reading this and for caring!
Hope all is well with you and yours!
Have a YIPPEE DAY!!!

Thursday, August 31, 2006 8:19 PM CDT

Okay, YAYA for e-mails from friends!!! I need to keep it up on my side again!!! Missed you guys! :)

Obviously I was getting a bit angry here and there. I think I figured out why. I never really got a full chance to do so before. I did here and there, but then life would keep going and I had to keep up. Not a lot of time to let my emotions get all the way done and over with.

I mean, sure, you can cry here or there, but only for a few minutes until the next event or crisis came along. And when things where calm and happy, who had time to be upset?

Then, we moved here, and on and on. Finally life has settled enough and I am happy and comfortable here. It seems my long buried emotions decided to get noticed. I am not that happy about it. We are happy here and I want to stay happy. Not be bothered with weird upsets from the past. However, I guess they feel the need to be worked through to the full extent until they reach their conclusion. I am just trying to take it easy about it. I need to take up kick-boxing or get a punching bag.


On a lighter note, where Rob works, they want to do a fund-raiser for Aizee. I did not want to do one because she is doing fantastic. I felt guilty. Not only that, I mean, she is doing great! Fund-raiser for what?
They are persistant though. So, Rob and I figured it could help raise cancer awarness more. Plus, donate the money raised to various places. Like CB, MACS, GKTW.
I am not talking a huge amount. They did tell us to come up with a number to reach.
Anyone with any ideas about that one, please e-mail me or write a message in the GB. I have no clue how any of this stuff works.
I do not want Aizee to be a poster child. Well, I do, but for being the best Ballerina in the world, or somthing like that.
There is so much positive to come out of this. But I do not want to take advantage of her. I do not want it at her expense.
If need be, use her as the propellent to raise awarness for others, for places like CB. For the need for better care and understanding of what happens when your child has cancer.
But also as a positive. Like I have been told a few times. Aizee is a hope for all else.
That yes, tragedy does hit and it hurts. But there are times when things do turn out.

Heh, I want to add for now. Can't quite get over that fear of relapse. It is not that I am looking for it. But the first time around totally blindsided us. Sort of like a car accident. Gun shy next time you are in a car. That is how I feel. I want to believe Lightning never strikes twice. But being hit already, damn straight I am keeping a wary eye out forever afterward.

Anyway, any thoughts, suggestions, opinions, all of it are welcome!
Please share experiences and ideas.
When E-mailing me, please ref Aizee, or Hatter in the subject line.
I found a few times I had deleted innocent e-mails from friends!!!

Aisalynn is LOVING FIRST GRADE! As usual, it takes the teacher a bit to learn how to say her name. And without fail, they capitalize her L. I find it silly. Don't you think that if the L where capital, I would have done so when I wrote her name on everything she takes to school? One of our friends and neighbors kids is in her class. They are so cute together!
Brianna is totally into being a second grader. Wow, talk about just one grade older, but what an attitude!
Remy is very excited to start her school. She pesters me everyday about it! I can not wait myself! :P

I hope all is well with everyone here!

Thank-you for visiting us and have a YIPPEE DAY!!!!

Tuesday, August 29, 2006 9:02 PM CDT

I guess, after living 33 years so far...wow, I have made it this LONG???
WHOA! heheh
Anyway...I recently realized not only am I 'finding myself' but a lot of pent up feelings are coming along for the ride.
Is this just a me thing? Or has this happend to others?
On the one hand, it is nice to get it out, on the other, I wish all of this crap already happend and got over itself already.
I almost feel I have tourettes (sp?) at times. OR somthing.

I do know one big thing is money. Those with it feel a lot more confident than those without it. And are questioned a lot less. Or whatever.

I have it all ways. Animal lovin', survivor with ADHD, mother of a child who had/has cancer. Who really has no clue but a lot of great ideas!

One idea I have is how to help others who have children newly or even oldly diagnosed not to feel so intimidated.
The only services I recieved when Aizee was diagnosed was a bishop. Well, I am not mormon nor religious, so that was no comfort to me. At times, I am a bit envious of those who can turn all over to a diety. I wish I could tell myself to stuff it and do so as well. However, for some weird reason, I have to argue it.
I did not know about CB or MACS, QUilting Angels, or any of it until over a year after Aizee was DXed.
On the one hand, hell ya I am strong! I single handedly took care of 2 1/2 kids, Then the full three.
I could breast feed AND do a broviak flush. And a bandage change.
I could put toxic waste into my child ARAC or whatever the hell that was. Got a neat Halloween costume out of that HAZMAT box too.

I live in a whole new state now. But stil find myself a little neurotic at times. When Aizee broke her collar bone.
When she had surgery. Etc. The Bus Stop moms always try to tell me it is kid stuff. Not to sound mean to my other kids, but if it where one of them, I so would not be uptight as I am with Aizee.
I hate the double edged sword. I am glad not to be this up tight about all three, but hope they do not deem themselves less than important than her. But it was her that changed our life.

Every mom has some ideas of how she wants life to be.
I am going to have this many kids, and this is my outline of the life we are going to have.
You loosley set your life around this broad plan.
Then BAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Picking up the peices now is not so hard. I can say that since Aizee is doing so great. Just it is me. Trying to get over that huge limbo, the fear, etc.
I can't laugh at certain things like I used to.
I am way more serious than I used to be, and more black humored about other things.

Eventually Alice did come out of her Rabbit Hole. But then what?




Sorry for all the drama. I am just trying to sort things out for myself. Any tips would be most welcome.


When I hear some people still bitch about ' The Katrina ' Thing, I get very upset. Lots of reasons for that.

I love NO. I almost lived there. I met Rob first, the rest is history.
Also, though I was not there, and did not live through that hell, I can understand the devestation that is wreaked.
I can empathize.

I'll zip it for now!~


Have A Yippee Day!

Aizee is in first grade! In the Morning!!! I am so happy!

Friday, August 25, 2006 10:37 PM CDT

Okay, I have a lot of stuff to get out. Let me put
WARNING, LOTS OF DRAMA LJ STUFF< SO IGNORE IF YOU MUST

Heck, most people never visit here anymore. What reason?
I have blown every one else off. I understand.

I wanted to keep up with CB. First blow was CB telling everyone to take down links. Then family members saying hey, get over it. YOUR child is fine. What do you have to offer there?
Plus moving, lack of faith etc. And my survivors guilt over Aizee. I am the luckiest and happiest mom around. My daughter, so far is doing great!!! Yet, it puts a bit of a wedge, for me, between other parents whose child has not been so lucky. I feel I am thumbing my nose at them. Like, ya, my child is fine. I am sorry yours is not. AND< my lack of religous faith. I mean, I believe in somthing, but not how mankind wants me to believe. I am not even agnostic.
I believe in it all. Reincarnation, ghosts, etc.
Like, you get to live over and over or not. But if you choose not to live again, you get to haunt places.
So, that in itself can set me apart.
I also belong to HEAL. Which is for emotionally battered people.
I am still trying to recover from my past. I am still trying to construct a positive future.
All I know is...well, heck, what do I know....

Well, my daughter at 13 months acted sick and everyone was looking at me like it had somthing to do with my treatment of her. " She does not walk because you carry her so much "
I carried her because she cried. SO on and so forth.
NO ONE BELIEVED ME when she acted the way she did.
I was treated like a worthless person.
To hear my mom now, she was by my side and that ANGERS ME!
She was always working. Or whatever. She has NEVER been by my side. But she always claim to be so.
My parents have always viewed me for a problem child.
Etc.
I was accused of http://www.mbpexpert.com/definition.html

I was admitted to a hospital for a week.
Everyone was against me.
When I got out, it was the middle of the 2002 Olympics in Utah. Even my husband was against me. He never wanted to talk to me. He was never around. When he was, he would say things like, well, drs can not be wrong. OR, well, I am not a dr, so whatever they say, they know and you don't.
I love my husband very much to this day, but still harbor a lot of anger....like that was not obvious???? :P
Finally, one day, my mom witnessed how Aizee was screaming.
See, I wanted to get some sleep. I dropped Brianna off at her pre-school and went to my folks house OH, btw, I was pregnant with Remy during this, anywya
I went there in hopes my mom would watch Aizee so I could sleep a little. Aizee would scream all of the time. Months of blood test just showed her white count going up. I was told by both the ER doctor who committed me and her PED that she must have a bacterial ulcer or a very bad stomache virus. I mean, I was SO naive. I believed a dr was a dr.
If there was somthing seriously wrong, they would find it right?
It got to the point where even my doubting mother insisted my father drive Aizee and I to Primaries. He drove due to the road blocks thanks Olympics.
I was like a zombie. Sleeping less than 3 hours a night.
I would hold Aizee all night. She screamed and cried.
Trying to take care of two little girls and being pregnant. Feeling the world hates you.
NO one telling you anything. Being commited, etc
I walked into the emergency room. Being asked what was going on.
I do distincly remember saying
Hello, I may be insane or my daughter is sick.
If it is me, please find out so I can get help. If it is her, please fix it.
OH ya, by the way, I had taken care of various children for over 13 years. Pre-school teacher, personal Nanny AND a Guardian Angel ( baby-sitting service for tourists)
Plus I went to college for Child Development and Psychology.
Anyway, the er attendant reassured me.
Blood was taken, history is now.

Blah tale and tale and more tale.
Even after all of that hell.
I want to do so much, rise up, but still am easily beaten down.
Told by family, your child is fine, stop reading CB because what do I have to offer?
Do not do this or do that
Be this way or that way
etc. The list goes on. I was raised an abused child.
Accused of child abuse, and easily abused again.
Damn it.
My child has cancer. Until her last date of tests three years from now when they can clearly state to me, she is cured, she still has this monster.
She still suffers the affects. That is for sure.
SO, My daughter went through hell. NO, not the same as others. She is a lot luckier than others.
But she has ALL.
And I am SO sorry for those who have cancer and are still suffering from it.
And to those who lost the battle.
My heart goes out. I want to fix the world but can not!
However, I realize, she did suffer and I need to stop hiding my head, and hers in the sand.,
Hello My child is ill. Hopefully I can say WAS.
WHATEVER> Still, it happens. Is happening.
To other kids.
I still feel in limbo though.
Not sick, not 'cured yet'
Not religious.
But she is here.
I got to find me in order to help her find her story to share.
I do know that ever since being accused of MBP, I am very hesitant of really making any fuss. Making any sort of wave. That really caused a lot of my usual fire to die.e I was exonerated, but damn it, still that accusation haunts me. Somthing I will never get over.
Okay, that is it for now.
Thanks for tolerating my story.

Saturday, August 19, 2006 10:39 PM CDT

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AISALYNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


HAPPY SIXTH BIRTHDAY TO YOU!

Her counts checked out great on Tuesday. Just three more years to go. Three years until they can officially call her cured.
She wants breakfast in bed. I got it all planned.

Since I already up-dated on MACS, and doubt anyone reads here anymore anyway....
Guess I will leave it at that.
Have a Yippee day! :)

Saturday, August 5, 2006 0:54 AM CDT

HELLO out there.
Aizees PFT's are at 92. The surgery did wonders...
but they have to watch her a lot due to sinus infections and adnoids coming back.
I will write more about what is going on at another time.
Like, after I get her CBC on the 15th.
Until the five years is up, I will always be stressed every month or so until I get those flipping numbers.
No rest of stress for this child of mine.
However, she is happy and busy. May even be ADHD. Due to genetics and the whole Post Traumatic Stess syndrome.

BUT, she is alive and doing great right now!!!!

Happy Heat Wave everyone!

Have a Yippee day!


Please visit other children who are suffering.
Please visit MACS etc.
Your visits, gifts and whatever else you have to offer does make a giant difference in the life of a child with a serious illness.

Tuesday, July 18, 2006 3:21 PM CDT

HELLO OUT THERE!


NEW PHOTOS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Theos Hastily Put Together! Great Comedy! PLEASE READ!!!

So, Aizee is all recovered from her operation.
The worst part of the whole thing was, when we were waiting with her prior to the surgery, she was all smiles, happy and laughing.
Then at the recovery area, she woke up bawling her eyes out and miserable.
I know it needed to be done. And she is a lot healthier for it. But her misery still bites.
She is enrolled in a summer school program to help her in her weak areas. She knows math very well, but reading is a bit of a challenge.
She is just now figuring out tying her shoes.
Anytime anyone asks me why she did not learn this or that simple things at whatever age...heck, when we were going through all of her chemo and hospital stays, sorry, the last thing I was thinking was education. I was thinking comfort for her and just getting through it. So what if she is a little behind. SHE has the rest of her life to catch it up.

There has been a few of you to e-mail me and I SO apologize for not getting back with you right away.

I am in a quandry when it comes to Caringbridge, or even kids with cancer.

Aizee is doing so awsome. Her counts are great and things look to be going fine. Other than the out of the blue chemo side effect here and there, she is by all accounts totally fine.
SO, I need to figure out with myself my feelings when I talk to other parents with cancer kids.
I hate feeling like I am thumbing my nose at them...ya, my kid is fine, too bad yours isn't. Type of feelling I have.
And the religion issue.

She is a success story that is true. But, that can be painful to those who did not get the same ending.
Blah, too hard to explain.

I do however spread the word about CB and MACS, Quilting Angels and Make A Wish.

To all who listen.

Connecting people, that is what makes a big difference.

Hope everyone is keeping cool!

Thanks for visiting. Have a Yippee day!

Sunday, June 4, 2006 5:57 PM CDT

Hi out there.
Yes, we are still around from time to time.
Aizee fractured her collar bone a few weeks ago. This past week was the first one without her sling.
Her happy dance was priceless to watch. :)


She is having surgery June 19th. To get her tonsils and adnoids removed. She has cronic cough still and even her pulminologist can't do anything about it. So her ENT said it was time for surgery.

The girls have been doing great. Brianna got a certificate of achievment from Rosa's Reader Challenge.
Remy got an Early Reader Certificate from the library were she goes every Monday.
Aizee got a Certificate of Recognition from the reading circle at her school.

Remy is going to be four June 6th!!! I can not believe my baby is now four!
She gets to go see Seasame Street Live on Friday!
My parents are coming into town and promised to take her to Chuckie Cheese.

So, right now Major Melt Down city is happening in the next room.
I'll try to update more often.

Thanks for visiting.
Please visit other children whose links can be found in the guest-book.

Have a YIPPEE DAY!!!


Oh, and the Turtle Background is in Memory for our beloved pet Snapping Turtle Tueargy, who was killed on Thursday.
Turtles are awsome animals and she had a personality like none other!

Tuesday, February 28, 2006 8:15 PM CST

Hello out there. It is me.
I have a question. Am I the only one out there with a 'recovered' child that still seems to be on the other side of the looking glass?
What I mean is, my view on things is so altered.
So, how to let it go?
And please, no offense to anyone, I have talked to God about it.

Aizee is loving school. I was so afraid before I sent her.
But it has helped her so much. And I am so relieved!
Big weight off of the shoulders. She is getting top scores. Her comprehension, penmenship, all of it. Top notch! I am a proud mom! Well, I would be even if she were having troubles. But, with her, it is always her teaching me. She is an amazing child.
She recently was diagnosed with Bronchial Asthma. FINALLY that stinkin cough has been taken care of.
But, wow, the myrid of crap that is all combined to cause her cough.
Zantac for reflux-she had that since she was born-can irritate the adominals which can affect breathing.
Cingular for irritation due to her sensitivity to the world. Flovent and Abuterol.
I am selfesh I admit. Imagine my relief when I was told that she is in NO WAY AT ALL allergic to animals.
Yes, if she was found to have animal allergies, as much as I would have been emotionally and spiritually crushed, I would have gotten rid of the pets. For her, I would.
So, when she was done with her peak and flow meter testing, and I saw her Pulminologist ( what a fantastic doctor she is too!!!!)*
She explained Aizees particular type of Asthma.
It is the smaller bronchials that get irritated and inflamed.
She could have been born with it, or it could be due to chemo side effect.
BUT, I have to tell you, since we got that cough taken care of, her energy level is unbounded. Like another child all over again!
SO ENERGETIC! SO HYPER!
All over the place. Sometimes, so much energy she can't seem to find a constructive way to dispell it.
So, despite to freezing temps of late, I take them all bundled up to the beach, or a park and let her run and run and run. I do to.
Being able to jumpo, climb, play, without stress of counts, coughing, general sickness, or in-law lectures ( when we lived there, always lectured for going out in the cold )
It is fun and a new awakening!
She is the first to fall asleep at night. The first to wake-up.
She grabs the day with gusto.
And her imagination knows no bounds.
No kidding. When I look into her green-eyes sometimes they seem so aged.
Ever wonder how mentally little kids explain to themselves what they have gone through? I mean, us, as parents with our attempts to explain and help through the crap, but how do they actually percieve it?
So, when she comes up with what I call her 'black comedies'
I just listen and try not to lecture.
I just ask questions. And depending on her answers, just try to guide her along the best I can.


For me, actually being around people, it is different.
What I note though, at the bus stop. When we chat about our kids.
It really is like Aizee was on another planet. I can talk about Brianna's baby-hood. And about Remy...
And then it always hits me, Aizee wasn't able to have that.
But you know, that's okay.
All three girls are fine and having the time of thier life and that is what matters.

For me though, I guess I have trouble trying to talk to those I know whose child has died or is still ill.
Not because I do not want to. But I guess a type of survivors guilt.
Why my child and not thiers?
Why any child?
Compared to most I talk to, or meet, or know from here, this family came through with flying colors.
So, at times, I feel way outside of things on all parts of life.

Aizee gets her eyes checked tomorrow. So, we'll see how that goes.

Brianna is the number one student in her class. She is little miss popular. She loves school as well.
Reading up a storm. She was part of the Govenors reading challenge and won. We just have to work on Penmanship a little bit. For me, I see no point in it. But that is just me. Since my whole neck thing, I have trouble buttoning buttons, let alone write pretty. This is one main reason I am so awful at timely thank-you cards.
Remy is a little twerp. She knows how to work her charms.
She cracks me up all of the time. You would have to meet her to believe what a funny child she is.
She is on the waiting list for a pre-school here.
She needs more kid activity. Since I work now, she needs more fun in her life.
Rob loves his job. He gets to meet all of these mega stars that I want to meet. Lucky him.
But he is happy and that is a wonderful thing.
I work over-nights. I actually like it. No co worker drama. And I get to do whatever I want. Plus get paid double and keep all tips to myself.
And the interesting people I happen to meet. Can't beat it. :)
If you read this entire thing, thanks.
I hope everyone is doing great.
I have no other caring bridge links to share. Unless they are in my guest book.
Thanks to weirdos, and all of that, sort of cut off a lot of connections I had.
Take care everyone.
Have a YIPPEE DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Oh, I always say Handy-dandy. For the record, I always said that pre-Blue's Clue's. Think I should sue for creative rights??? :p )

Oh, I changed the background to suns to let everyone know I updated.
BUT, we have the coolest turtles now.
My boss gave me a baby snapping turtle he found in his shoe. She is the coolest critter. No, no samonela. And the Red slider we also inherited is also free of that.

* About Aizee's Pulminologist. She is a fantastic lady. She actually takes the time to explain things. See, prior to Aizees dx of cancer, she was on all sorts of stomache meds. I know what Zantac is. When I asked her why she needed all of those meds, this lady took the time to explain everything to me. Without being impatient. Without being rude. Just nice and happy. Plus, okay, everyone knows how looks get you questioned. She is 5 foot 8 or so. WHITE hair in a great curly do. Skin tight pants, COLORFUL shirts and high heels. Long nails, etc. But not guady at all.
She carries it off wonderfully.
But common everyone, when was the last time any of us saw a colorful, flambouyant doctor? Other than the hired clowns...the ones to entertain the kids :P
What I mean is, she is happy, a care-free spirit who is NICE!!!!!
Not in a rush, not RUDE over a simple misunderstood question.
It was SO refreshing!*

Tuesday, January 3, 2006 5:48 PM CST

I have been avoiding here forever. Sorry for so long. I guess I hate somtimes to talk here. Too many families reading. Too much emotion out of me and not feeling safe to express it. That is why I love LOVE LJ.

Aizees test came fine today. AND, if I am not mistaken, ONE year down four more of the five year watch to go before she is considered cured.
I hold this precious child of mine at night and try not to cry. I almost lost her. I could again. I try not to live as a fatalist. I used to be so happy go lucky. Living by the seat of my pants. But one day, my baby almost got taken from me. I try not to take things for granted anymore. Sure, there are times I want my space, to do 'my' thing. That is life. But for me, I catch myself and think, wait, if I had to regret this, would I want to?
I do not indulge her? No. If anything, I think in a way I hold higher standards for her. NOT on purpose. But instead of being like, wait, you liked that food yesterday, I am like, you never cried about this before, why are you crying now?
She makes me take a few steps back on everything. As I am realizing how much myself and soul and expectations on life have been affected, I have to also realize how much of who she is is also affected. I need to just start standing up for her and Myself and this family. Whenever I am judged, or her or anything, I have to make people realize, WAIT< we took three years out of 'normal life'.
Why are these kids not ab and c? Well, hello, you who has not dealt with this, the world we lived in surrounded itself around Aizee. That is not to say that Brianna was left out nor was Remy. I made sure Brianna had friends and things to do. We had our bonding moments. It was not as the magazines say they should be. You catch your moments when you can. Be it a book shared between proceedures, a late night snack. Or comforting her when she is afraid late at night about life and the future.
I got tired of being made to feel that OTHER peoples expectations for how kids should be were not met.
WELL, we are a family and I keep my kids close and try to be real and mix some imagination and fun with it.
I am just doing the best that I can. The one best pediatrician these kids had always reassured me. She always told me, your kids are alert, HAPPY, active, imaginative, polite and inquesitve.
They feel safe and secure, ask lots of questions. They give respect because that is how they are treated. Lots of love and regardless of everything, held together and feel safe and confident.
SO, regardless of the road map Rob and I have mapped out, we are all okay.
I guess I get myself in a tizzy because, I was always taught to not get too secure in things.
One year down though and confidence is raising.

I had to take Brianna and Remy with us to Yale. They did so great!!! :PROUD MOM HERE:
They loved the lunch in the Attrium later too.
My kids are so wonderful and so cute!

I will talk about the holidays later. I have the cutest neices and nephew though!!! But I know I scare the parents. They are catholic and I wear black, listen to NIN and have rainbow hair. Plus my kid has cancer. hahahhaha

Well, you know how it goes. I am always the weird one! :p

OH, and I went on a little vacation to Cali to visit Debbie!
We had a blast! I just have to be patient with Fate and all of that! meaning, I know she is the bestest godmother ever and Jason is a riot! Eventually, I know all of us will live closer than how many hours it is now!


I hope all of you had wonderful Holidays!!!!!!!

I am sorry I have been avoiding here for so long! I will try to be a bit more active and I realize I love the 'ancient'cb vs the new!

NEW PICTURES SOON!

Friday, August 19, 2005 8:49 PM CDT

Okay, go to Aisalynn's NEW caringbridge

SO, AIZEE IS FIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am going to try and do a ton of photos on her new page and some here. Just photos of that lovely little imp EVERYWHERE!!!
For her life update, I will put that on the new page.
:)
Thanks for visiting us!

Sunday, June 19, 2005 8:16 PM CDT

Okay, go to Aisalynn's NEW caringbridge


Yup, those new flashy pages.
Man, I have trouble keeping up with one page, let alone two....so, ya, this should be fun. I put recent pictures of the girls there.
AND, once I get the hang of that new format and people know to come visit us there, I will put neat house pictures there too.
We love our house. The girls are happy and things are going great. Rob has a wonderful new job. Pays more than the other one and he comes home happy again!

Aizee gets checked the first of July. I tell you, I can not wait to stop being stressed about these check-ups. I am afraid to let my guard down. Because it seems when one does that is when you get nailed ya know?

Okay, I need to find addresses so I can once again visit kids again. Once I get them, I will be in full swing to stop by and say hello again and I can't wait! :)

Have a YIPPEE DAY!

Monday, June 6, 2005 1:34 PM CDT

Hi all. Once I get back online, next month ~fingers crossed~
I will make a new page and link it to this 'classic' page.

The girls are doing great.

Taz died.

The house is getting put together gradually.

Aizee is excited about going to school next year.

I have so many stories to tell you and no time to do it right now.

I just hope everyone out there is doing great!


REMY IS THREE TODAY! She is such a dollie baby. :)

Have a YIPPEE DAY!

Thursday, May 12, 2005 2:42 PM CDT

Hello out there. This will be fast and all of that. I am once again on a library computer for a bit.
I hope all is well with you and yours.
We have moved into our house. It seems to have more glitches with it than we originally realized, but we'll get it together eventually. If my patience, or lack of it does not do me in first.
Aizee is doing great. SHE LOST HER FIRST TOOTH!!!!!!! IT was one of her bottom ones. Poor thing. She accidentally spit it into a trash can at the burger King play land. I took my mom and the girls there last week. So, she was so upset and I felt bad, I ended up taking both bags of trash with me to my house to sort through in the yard. Nothing like doing somthing that odd to get my new neighbors gossiping about me. Why not start off the new move with a band eh?
Alas, I could not find her tooth, but I explained that the Tooth Fairy would understand what happend. She was thrilled to get her dollar in the morning.:) Her visits to Yale are now every other month. She is still catching up with her vaccinations and she hates them. Poor kid, enough needles already!! She is a chatter box and big time busy. She is SO happy to have her cat back too!
Remy is doing great. A big pipsqueak as always. She is so wanting to have it HER way or the HIGHWAY! She has a VERY VERY VERY strong will. She is so much fun though!
Brianna is still loving school. She is also doing great. She is getting so grown up and the things she says. And OH how proper she acts! Like a prissy tom boy or somthing!
Oh, and her dental whoa had been that Aizee lost a tooth befor she did. Now it has been discovered by me that her adult teeth are coming in and her baby teeth are not falling out. So, off to the dentist we are going to see what needs to be done. I guess the Tooth Fairy owes her a few bucks eh?
They all three love the house and chatter all the time together. They do miss Nuni and Grandaddy though.
My parents are in town spoiling them rotten as I type this. My folks sure missed the girls and my girls are SO happy to see them!
As for Rob, he is taking on a great job opportunity. He has gotten so many great offers that it is hard for him to decide. He likes the UNH, but the pay is not what he wants.
As for me, well, my car got wrecked when another guy in a NAPA truck decided he wanted in the same lane I was in, in the same spot I was occupying.
:(
I miss my car. That happend on Tuesday. His fault, but trying to deal with the insurance crap is a real pain in the butt. I feel so stranded not having a car right now.
Robs dad is letting him use his car and my dad is driving me around. I had to have a CT scan today etc. I might have a concussion.
My dad also helped us buy another car, but we can not get it registered because I do not have a CT liscens and I can not get one without my birth certificate. Since we just moved, I have no idea where it could be. Fun times all around.
Along with some of my teeth being busted out about a month ago when I fell over a paint can.

But, my plans for the concert are still on. I AM NOT MISSING IT!!!

So, that is a whole bunch of stuff in a nutshell.
Eventually, I will get my computer and desk, etc all set up at my house and can dink around on it like I used to.
Thank-you for visiting us and take care.

Have a YIPPEE day!

Thursday, April 7, 2005 8:25 PM CDT

So, I wanted to wait, and tried to wait. I wanted Keys in my hand, but I just can't wait. This time next week, Rob and I will be home-owners!!!!!!!!
I am so excited and scared and nervous and stressed out all at the same time. I am excited to have a home of our own. To decorate anyway we want to. To actually Settle into our way. I mean, renting, you settle to some extent, but always with the feeling that you should always be ready to pack up and go if somthing happend. I avoided getting bookshelves because packing and unpacking my unbelievable library ( I did it once never again )
Simple things like that. Now, I can do what I want and how I want to. As long as Rob agrees too. But we are lucky in the respect that we can always compromise and work that sort of thing out.
We get our cats back. Now that is a HUGE PLUS!
You could not imagine how many nights I could not sleep because I would think and dream of our lost pets. I still can not look at dogs. There is one around the corner that looks exactly like a short haird Kiwi pup and I cry everytime I see her. And I just do not even look at black labs period. I just don't. Luckily there are no springer brit spaniels around otherwise I would be a total mess.
Anyway, I am nervous about getting all the odd and end things organized. Like, commutes to work, getting the kids here for Nuni to watch and getting the bills organized. The first few months of pulling all of that together and revamping a new budget is going to be a walk in a park straight out of King Novel. But it will all come together.
I had thought so long that we just were not going to get the house. I mean, we got pre-approval, but that is no guarantee that they won't decide, HAH ya right. Dream on.
So, the longer it took to hear a deffinant yes or no the more I thought it was a no go. So, then I just avoided thinking of the house at all.
When Rob called to tell me it was a final yes, I didn't know what to think.
Now I am all impatient! I am so excited I do not know what to do with myself! I know I should just relax because moving and all the joy that is I am going to be wishing for these last few days of peace and comfort.
But I must give credit to where credit is due.
If Nuni And Grandaddy had not let us move in with them, we would never have had this opportunity.
Yes, our lifestyles clashed along with thoughts on child rearing. Etc, but despite our differences on many things,
They deserve a lot of credit. Taking five people into your home and financially helping them as much as they have us, I really have no proper words for it. I can never thank them enough.
I guess the best way to thank them is by getting out of their hair and letting them get back with their own life. Except Nuni has agreed to tend to Remy, then Aizee and Brianna( when they get home from school)
But Remy is Nunis little dollie baby.
She put her hands on her tiny hips the other day and pulled a perfect Nuni imitation. I just about died laughing.
But at least these neat people will have their evenings back to themselves again.
My folks are planning on coming out in May for a visit. How they get here depends on Fabien. If he lives, they are driving out so he can come back home to me. If he does not make it they will fly.
I want them to drive. Any life, no matter how small is important. Heck, I try to not kill bugs. Just mosquitos. I felt so guilty when we had to hire an exterminator when we lived in Oakley!
Luckily our new house was checked and cleared of any bug threat! We payed a few hundred extra bucks to get it checked for lead, asbestos and raydon. It was clear on all except raydon. And the sellers put in an abatement system. Good thing I am paranoid about odd things like that.
So, just be ready in the next months for house pictures and all of that. My enthusiasim and new take on life has increased a kazillion folds!
I just wish I could ignore that stupid little voice that makes me nervous. I mean, things have been starting to go very well for us lately. Is it due to all the years of crap? That I can not trust good fortune to last?
I mean, Aizee is doing great. Her heart murmur is due to her odd bit of asthma. Her counts are excellent. After next months blood check, she can go every other month ( after her poke this last time,she got a Mr. Incrediable doll and has fallen in love with him!!! Too cute! )
She is doing so Wonderful! So is Brianna and Remy.
We got a new car. One that everything works! Family get togethers! They love their cousins! Easter was a blast for them! Rob has gotten back into the good job market. I am working again. Not my field, but hey, a pay check is a pay check! And a new house!!!! AND, I got tickets to NIN! They sold out within 5 minutes of being released!
I met Trent. When Debbie and I went to New Orleans. If it were not for that trip, I would never have met Rob. If that had never happend, then I would not be here right now annoying you with it and you would have nothing annoying to read. See how the world is full of oddness?
I guess I just need to stop waiting for the other shoe to fall and just enjoy what is going on now.
If we all grow happily grey and old without any more drama, that works for me.

Okay, enough of this. I could go on and on about the house and other stuff.
I am just so excited, I am not sure what to do with myself.
Thank-you for visiting us. I have been a butt and not visited anyone else for awhile.
I need to get over this avoidance thing I have going on.
I want to visit others, yet, I am afraid to, and I feel a bit guilty. Is it that weird survivors guilt I have heard about?
I do not feel guilty that Aizee is alive and well. HELL NO!
But I feel so bad that this wonderful goodness is not visted on every child.
I mean, what do you say to another parent whose child has suffered so much worse than yours?
I am so thankful Aizee did not go the rounds other children have had to. But, why do other kids have to suffer so much and I feel so inadequate in trying to comfort those parents who are struggling so much with the pain.
I don't know. Some of the things going on with them are so hard and this family did not have to endure it, so I just do not know what to say. But yet, I know saying somthing is better than not saying anything.
That is a fact.
Maybe it is easier for you on that side of the Looking glass in Wonderland than it is for us over here.
When I get my new home office set up, maybe I'll find inspiration in Carrol Books.
I have always found comfort in those stories. I have always especially loved The Mad Hatter.


Anyway, thank-you for reading here.
Have a Yippee day.

Wednesday, March 23, 2005 8:48 PM CST

So, all of the links are gone. For those of you who want to link your pages through Aizees guest book, by all means, do so. And for anyone who wants to maintain a link to FTI, please do so. :)
It is sad that a few sickos have to cause so much disruption in this community. This place was set up for people to connect. To reach out to one another and help each other. Share battle tales and advice. With others who can fully understand the hell it is. And to try and explain to those 'on that side of the looking glass' what it is like on this side of it. It is NO Wonderland at all.
But I guess there will always be nuts. So, for security reasons, all links must be taken down.

So, tomorrow, I am taking Aizee to register for Kindergarten. She refuses to learn to tie her shoes and can not even spell her name. I can not get her to sit still and focus to even listen to me about anything. I hope I can figure out how to get her to at least be able to recite the alphabet. Fingers crossed.

Brianna is doing excellent. She is part of a play. The Little Red Hen. She gets to be a Rooster. Cute huh?
I got her little report card....(in kindergrten??????)
She got great marks for everything but coloring. That gets a huge eye-roll from me. Grading a kid in kindergarten over coloring? Whatever.....
Remy is doing great. Fiesty as ever. She keeps me on my toes!

No news about the house yet. Once I know if we got it or not, I'll let you know. Fingers Crossed!

The girls are SO excited to be going to their cousins house on Sunday. They so love to be with their cousins. And their cousins are so awsome with them! It really is neat.
Rob and I are going to NIN concert in May. I am VERY excited about this. My last concert was NIN, but that was over three years ago. Another little adventure in NY. Weeee!

It is snowing here. For those of you from Utah, Idaho and CO....hahahhaa, you would get such a kick out of how they react to snow here. They shut EVERYTHING DOWN! And they have this thing here called Delays. I am not kidding either. They even cancel everything...like any sort of evening group whatever get together. Even on a prediction of snow.
It is going to take me a long time to get used to this oddness. I am talking a few inches too. Like, 3 inches? No school. But it does get mighty icy. Maybe this is why?
The drivers are way worse. Who knows. I just find it funny. I remember driving through canyons in pure whiteouts...twisty narrow roads. Like how I-80 gets...feet of snow falling from the sky and school and everything else went on as it was supposed to.
Like I tell myself....'Toto, we are not in Kansas anymore'
:p

Well, thanks for stopping by. I hope all is well with you and yours. Take care and have a YIPPEE DAY!!!!!!!!!


Okay, UPDATE>>>>>>>>>
Aizee is on an inhaler now. She also may have some heart problems due to That EVIL medicine....the Red devil. She needs a new Echocardiogram done.
Also, she and Remy have some sort of bacterial cold infection.
Yaya For STRESS!!!
Now she has a fever of 102 and vomiting. Sheesh, it never gets easy does it? I called the doc and I was told to just give her tylenol and motrin and keep an eye on the fever and her....if it gets worse or is still around next week, to call again.

Anyway, I hope everyone has a wonderful Easter. I hope Peter Cottontail is good to you all! :)
Eat lots of candy and have fun!

Thursday, March 17, 2005 6:22 PM CST

I just got this e-mail.........



"Your CaringBridge page http://www.caringbridge.org/ut/fti needs to be
modified. We must ask that you remove the list of links you have to
others CaringBridge pages. Our information shows that your page has at
least 68 to other CaringBridge pages.

CaringBridge is very concerned with confidentiality. It is our stance
that CaringBridge pages should not be linked together without controls
in place that ensure authors of the pages have provided permission.

The linking of CaringBridge pages has caused several issues and we are
taking steps to control abuses and breaches of confidentiality.

In the future, CaringBridge will be providing a controlled method to
have pages listed in a directory – but never within others pages.
This
practice opens up too many opportunities to invade ones privacy.

We must ask that all links to others CaringBridge pages be removed by
March 24th, 2005. At that time, if the links are not removed, we will
either a) be removing the links for you, or b) archiving your page.

Thank you for your understanding in this area. It has become a
critical
problem that CaringBridge must very proactively address.


Sincerely,
Sona Mehring
CaringBridge Executive Director"

Before I take away all of these links....is there a way for any of you to let caringbridge know that I got permission to link you?
I believe I asked everyone if it was okay before I added your link.
Anyway....the list will be gone by next week.

Right now all is well. Aizee has to start all over again with all of her shots. Poor thing. One actually made her cry. She NEVER cries.
So fas so good with everything. Hope it continues that way forever!
We will know by morning about the house or not.
I get to go to NIN in May. The Dresden Dolls are the opening band. I am very excited about that.
So, for now, I will go and be back in a few days to erase all the links.
Have a YIPPEE Day.

Sunday, February 27, 2005 4:26 PM CST

Hello out there. So, we are getting a house. The girls are so excited. And so are we!!

Right now the computer is upstairs in a bedroom so getting on and catching up at any consistent time never happens. But our new house has a den all set up for a computer. This way, when it is a rainy day or whatever, while the kids are doing thier thing, I can sign on more often and actually get back into Quilts of Love and all of that like I was before!
Plus get better at sending cards to MACS kids. So far it has been hit and miss. Thank-you cards to those who send the girls things. And cards and stickers to newly featured kids.
Aizee is doing great. I am taking her to her normal pediatrician next week for a full check-up. What shots she can and cannot have right now. The full asthma work up. Etc. Then on the 8th it will be back to Yale. In May, they will extend the once a month visit to every other month. If things continue like they have, the next five years will be a snap!

I cannot believe it has been almost a year since we said good-bye to chemo! With everything that has happend lately, it seems like it was much longer ago!

Remy has a nasty cold. I have a bad, annoying cough. Brianna had a bit of a cold/cough but is over it quickly as usual.
Aizee has a cough, but I am not sure if it is a new cough or the other one...
I am still having adjustment things here in CT land. The weather especially is very odd.
Summer one day frozen solid the next. Ohwell. That is how it goes!
Hope all is well with you and yours.
Thanks for visitng us. I'll be to see you soon!

Have a YIPPEE DAY!! :)

Friday, February 11, 2005 2:35 PM CST

Hello out there!
That main picture up there of Aizee shows one battle wound. That is the scar material left after they took out her port. In that shot, she is showing me her muscles. Silly thing. She is so much stronger than most people are aware. And stronger than any muscle man on earth.

Okay, so as I said before, my mom is labled as cured. She still has to be checked from time to time just to make sure it never comes back. That's fine. She says she feels great. She and my dad are all excited about us flying back this summer for a visit. We are excited as well.

We have saved enough to finally start looking at houses. There are quite a few interesting ones so far. Some of them Rob and I have realized are very creative with wording. The realator guide says one thing and it is a true play on words. But it has been fun. Can't wait to find that 'just right' one!

Brianna got THE PRINCIPALS STUDENT OF THE MONTH AWARD!
Boy is she ever proud. I am very happy she loves school so. I hope that stays throughout the years to come.
The one main gripe I have about the new school she is in now is that they are going to enforce uniforms. I am very against it. But as Linus would say: You can't fight City hall". Ohwell.

Aizee is doing great. Her health is wonderful. I have stopped getting into a tizzy over every new bruise or sniffle. She is eating great, running around ( which is very important to me!!) being a wonderfully hyper 4 year-old. My new concerns though are this: Her helpless act. It is hard for me to judge if she is truly not that focused or just being lazy. Okay you other Cancer moms....new question....
She won't focus on anything. I know these could be normal for her age, but with her, I just can't buy that entire story...because, well you know how it is when they are/where sick. You had to do almost everything for them because they really couldn't. Like when she was hospitalized or at home usually hooked up to somthing, she got waited on a lot. So, when I try to teach her to tie her shoes, or even sing the alphabet, zip up her coat, simple things like that...is she truely that helpless or is she just used to having someone rescue her? I must admit it does get a bit frustrating at times. She is SO SO SO smart. And so observant. The things she says, comments and random observations shows she sees and understands more than she lets on. But when it comes to small task things, and literal comprehension, it just doesn't seem to click.
I am taking her to her ped. In the next week or so (once my new work hours get worked out) because when I asked her oncology Doc some of these questions, that is what he suggested. However, I wanted the opinion of those who actually KNOW what I am talking about here. So, any ideas, suggestions and ideas would be great. Thank-you!


Remy is a ball of fire. She is into everything and anything. Busy kid! Sometimes between her and Aizee I feel as though I have twins!!
It is a bit more stressful than it normally would be since we are living here. Trying to accommidate everyones needs and expectations. Plus working again after six years of not. Go figure why I am never organized and hit and miss when it comes to having time to sit down, up-date And visit other childrens pages!
That is one main reason I am so excited to buy a house here. MY House, My rules! My way to figure out how to make it all work!
Alrighty, the quiet is over. Aizee is trying to fly off the top bunk using an umbrella for a parachute and I keep stopping and starting this, talk about losing trains of thought by the trackful!!!

Calvin and Hobbes has NOTHING on this household!!!! :p
Thank-you for visiting us and I already told Rob that Sunday Night, I am going to go by every page I can to wish EVERYONE A VERY HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Have a YIPPEE DAY!

Tuesday, February 8, 2005 8:42 PM CST

I will update more tommorow when I have more time. I just wanted to let everyone know two things. All is well here. Trying to save and find a house we want/can buy.
Aizee's health is great. Just got her CBC today and all looks great.
AND, my mom is officially cured of her Breast Cancer. YAY for early detection and right away taking care of it.
Thank-you for visting us and we hope all is well with you and yours.

YES! I had a WONDERFUL Birthday Thank-you!
And, it helps to know that you guys understand how it feels! It really helps to know that I am not getting all weird for no reason. Trying to be 'normal' whatever that is is more work than most 'regular people' realize.
You'd think that it would just happen. That Oh, she is 'better' now....on with life. That is what I used to think. I mean, I cared for kids for over 13 years prior to having my own. I went to college, I studied, etc. I 'know' how kids are, life etc. How it was with Brianna...she is the poster child for health and vitality. I guess being caught off guard like we all were, I am thinking NO WAY is that going to happen again. That certain on the toes feeling, that despite what is going on and what is considered rational, those game rules just do not apply anymore.
I so Deeply appreciate your well wishes and happy thoughts and messages reminding me that on this side of the Looking glass, we are not alone. Thank-you.
I will up-date better and I swear, I will get better at visitng others. And saying hello in your guest books as well! In the meantime,
Have a YIPPEE DAY!:)

Saturday, January 15, 2005 7:07 PM CST

Hi out there. Well, so much to talk about, but I need to sit down and get organized so I can re-do links and get caught up with families, and my own life, etc.
But, I just read this..a post from a message board I belong to.
As just about everyone who visits here can relate to the trauma of hearing the words 'your child' and 'cancer' together.....
It does not matter who you are, what you do...that is your child and cancer is just plain awful.
U2 is a favorite band of mine. And they are heavy into the politics of trying to help out with AIDS in Africa and also feeding hungry people, etc.
Then to have yet another child and her family on the road through Chemo hell...

Cancer never leaves you, even if you are lucky like Aizee. It haunts me to this day. That fear, though less than it was before will always bet there.





Cancer Heartbreak for U2’s Edge

> Heartbreaking news from the U2 camp last week. The band’s world tour, which
> was set to start in Florida on March 1, will be delayed because lead
> guitarist The Edge’s young daughter has been diagnosed with leukemia. The band was
> due to unveil details and on-sale dates for the tour early this month, but
> manager Paul McGuinness posted a message on the U2 website last week saying the
> plans had temporarily changed. “We’ve postponed the announcement of the tour
> because the routing is still being worked on. As soon as we get everything
> confirmed over the coming weeks, we’ll let you know,” McGuinness said. But
> news soon emerged that little Sian Evans, only seven years old, was recently
> diagnosed with cancer, and that her dad, whose given name is Dave Evans, has
> been by her side ever since. Sian has been receiving her treatment at a Dublin
> hospital. Sian is the eldest child of The Edge and his second wife Morleigh
> Steinberg. The couple is also parents of a son, Levi, age four. The Edge and
> American-born Morleigh met during U2’s Zooropa tour in the early 1990s;
> Morleigh was one of the backup dancers. They married in the south of France in the
> summer of 2002 in front of family and celebrity friends including all the
> members of U2 and supermodel Helena Christensen. The Edge had three children
> with his first wife Aislinn before divorcing several years ago. Childhood
> leukemia is a treatable disease, but one can only imagine the pain the Evans family
> is experiencing. Touring the world with U2 must be the last thing on The
> Edge’s mind, and the world will certainly wait for however long it takes for
> Sian to get better. U2 has it all going for them this year — a critically
> acclaimed new album that’s selling like hotcakes all over the world, a March
> induction into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame — but at the end of the day your
> health is your wealth. Here’s hoping that the lovely little Sian is well on the
> road to recovery, and that this nightmare quickly ends for the Evans family.
> Nothing else really matters.



I hate I hate I hate I hate I hate cancer.







Aizee seems to be doing fine. Here is my crap going on.
She started to throw up and I am suddenly in panic mode. Because her constant vomiting was one of the giveaways prior to her DX. She is now throwing up daily and no fever..she is tired, doesn't want to eat and doesn't want to walk. I am here in a new State, new Doctors who were not the ones who traveled the road through hell with us before. I try to explain to them why these signs so scare me. at times, I feel I get a lot of "lets placate the nut of a mom"
I do not act hysterical or any of that. I rationally explain why it is that this has me afaid. I am told they will monitor her numbers and that is all they want to do for now. Like I said, I am afraid. It is probably nothing, but damn it, this crap went on before and almost went on longer until I finally had enough and caused a big stink. So, anyone out there, when do you finally just stop being paranoid?

Okay, lots of stuff going on.

I will update better later and I have the most fun pictures to put!
I hope all is wonderful with you and yours
Have a YIPPEE DAY!

Tuesday, December 28, 2004 6:08 PM CST

Howdy out there! Everyone is fine. I can't type much now except to say hello and NEW PHOTOS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Will update more later. I hope everyone had a great holiday and a Wonderful New Year!!!!!!!!!!!!
Have a YIPPEE DAY!!!

Monday, December 20, 2004 3:20 PM CST

Hello out there.
It has been VERY busy around here.
Rob told me Santa may be bringing me DSL for my present. I sure hope so!!! ~crosses fingers and toes~
The people that work here at the library are very nice and they are fun to kid around with. However, half hour incrimints of time really doesn't allow me to do too much.
Anyway, it snowed today and I am sorry to say, I find it funny. There is about one inch of snow on the ground and the schools got cancled and people are freaking out.
Well, where we come from, up by the Uintah Mountains, there have been feet of snow since September. When I was a kid, it was on a VERY rare occaision that we got snowed out of school. It is interesting and entertaining to be in a different place and all of that.
The kids were excited to see it snow.
" It's about time!" that was what Brianna said.
Aizee is doing great. Her labs come back clean everytime. It better keep being like that too!
Robs family decided instead of adults buying gifts for other adults (of course kids get presents)this year they decided to choose a charity that everyone can donate too. Give Kids The World was picked!!! YAY! That trip still has strong wonderful memories for this family.
We took the girls to Coventry this weekend to see thier kitties. They loved it. It is an animal Rescue organization called Kitty Angels. A wonderful lady and her husband run it. They do a great job. The girls had a blast because not only are there thier cats, but several others as well.
So, all in all, things are going great!
Thanks for visiting us.
We hope all is wonderful with you and yours and that everyone out there has a FABULOUS HOLIDAY!
Have a YIPPEE DAY! :)

Monday, November 29, 2004 3:11 PM CST

Hello out there.
I hope every one had a Wonderful Thanks-giving!
So, wow....I am just now getting over Bi-lateral phnemonia. Plus duel ear infections and sinus infection along with a bit of upper chest broncitis infection. Let me tell you, the last week or so HAS SUCKED BIG TIME! No Thanksgiving for me. I sat home alone watching weird VH1 shows and stoned on codien. Yeehaw. And no kitty cats to snuggle with either. :(
The girls had a blast though. They went to their cousins house and got to play all day and eat lots of fun food. I was very happy for them.

BUT, the girls are all doing great. Luckily they did not catch what I have. ~PHWEW~!!

Last week, I took Aizee to Yale/New Haven kids hospital to meet her new Oncologist. Dr. Raitz(sp?) recomendation was great. Dr. Jack VanHoff is a very nice guy. But, I must admitt, I miss Primaries. It was set up so nicely. However, this hospital has clowns. One, with a mandoline, sang to the tune of OutKast 'oh ya' about chemo and blood draws etc. That was very interesting. Aizee thought they were great. They really doted on her too.
Oh, and at that hospital, no finger pokes at all. Nope, full on needle in the arm. She did not even blink. She is so amazing and tough. On one hand that is great. But, very sad on the other hand. It is a testiment for all she has endured. I had to get my blood drawn today and all I could think was Stop being a whimp Cheryl! Your four year old daughter can do it, so can you!
After her blood draw, she got a flu shot. No flinch there either. All she wanted was chocolate milk. Which she got! I got her a huge Chocholate Quick.
Brianna had a little Thanksgiving feast at her school. Rob went and said it was adorable. All the kids had on little paper pilgrim hats and collars. Sang little songs. I am glad he is able to spend more time with her. Especially since he had to work such long hours in her babyhood.
Nuni bought the three of us (me, Aizee and Brianna) tickets to a little mini ballet that they had here yesterday. Parts of The NutCracker. The girls loved it! Now they really want to take ballet. I am looking into it.
Remy is getting her 2 year-old molars in now. Poor thing. Talk about grouchy and miserable trying to be cute all at once. She is growing so fast!
The weird thing is, I can not really remember Aizee at that size, age whatever. I know she went through that age, but the memories are such a blur of all that cancer stuff...am I the only one whose memory is odd like that?
It is hard to explain.
So, about the kitties. A very nice lady has offered to take them for a few months. Hopefully in that time, we can figure out what we can do credit wise to rent to own, or buy a house. Another nice lady offered to take in two of them, however, I need to get their shot records etc to prove thier health history and all of that. Then we need to find someone who can care for the other two.
There are those who wonder what all the fuss is about about these cats.
If you are not a pet lover or owner, you will never understand and no way can I explain it.
Anyway, I hope that by the new year I can have internet at home. I got a lot of families to catch up on. I only get half hour incrimints here at a time. So, one time I check e-mail. Another I respond to the previously checked e-mail and read new e-mail. Or, I come here or catch up on other stuff. When you think about it, thirty minutes is really not long at all.
Thank-You for visiting us!
Have A YIPPEE DAY!!!

Saturday, November 6, 2004 10:50 AM CST

Hello out there. I hope all is great with you and yours. :)
The girls had a wonderful Halloween.
Brianna had quite the birthday party as well. We had the family party on Wednsday. She got a new bike and loved it. I also got her all the little gear to go with it. She was SO proud! Trying to invite friends from her class was tricky since kids are not allowed to bring birthday invitations to school. But I managed to get a few in the mail and two of her little classmates came on Saturday.
I have great pictures of it, but can not upload them from this computer. I'll get on-line at the house eventually.
Once again, I had to thrash a pinata. Candy mess all over the floor. Ohwell, the kids did not care at all! Then, Brianna's school does somthing called Trunk-or-treat where people park thier cars in the school parking lot and the kids can go from trunk to trunk for candy. They thought that was great! Then we went to Uncle Andy and Aunt Nancys house. They had a blast there.
Then Real Halloween. IT is amazing here. NO SNOW!!! Utah has about 4 feet now. I am not used to being able to actually see kids costumes. Here, it was a very nice night out. Tons of kids, fall foliage, just like you see in a movie! And boy did the kids ever make out with the candy! People gushed all over them! Exclaiming on their bueaty then giving them extra candy! They even got a few stuffed animals along the way. Amazing!
They always said Trick-Or-Treat. Then Thank-you. Then wished to person a Happy Halloween. They are SO darn cute:)
I am very proud of my girls.
They seem to love it here. Just one taint upon it all and that is the cat issue.
Aizee went through over two years of hell. Her sisters right along with it. All they wanted was a cat. We have four cats we are desperately trying to find foster care for. Seems NONE of the cat organizations want to help us out.
It sucks. If it were not for that one issue, everything would be just great here. If anyone has any ideas or suggestions, plese let me know ASAP! Thanks. :)

So, getting Aizee in to see her new Oncology doctor. In the next few weeks. Then she has to be set up with a pulminary doctor since she may have asthma. She has had a chronic cough for over a year now. So, Dr. Raitz (sp?) wants to have us get it checked out.
Oh, and we got a new car. Thank-you Mom and dad for helping us out there.
This car is brand new. Everything works! YAY! The doors open, the locks work and it has reverse. Both wipers work too. We got a care without automatic anything. So, that way, none of that odd stuff can malfunction again.

Thank-you for sighning the guest-book. Thanks for not forgetting us. Though it seems I have forgotten about you, I have not at all! I hate not having internet at home. At night now, I have hours to read, and I want to get caught up on the caringbridge families. But, I am not connected at the house. And only have a half hour here.
One day, things will be fully put together and I can actually get to the things I want to do and miss doing.
Make any sense at all?
Anyway, thank-you for everything and have a
YIPPEE DAY!!!

Thursday, October 21, 2004 12:49 AM CDT

Wow! Hello out there! I get about a half hour at the library here, and that is only on the days I can get here!
First off, sorry to everyone that I have completely stopped visiting pages. As soon as I get my own computer back on-line, my first goal is to go and say hello to everyone I know and meet new people I have not visited yet. Starting with the nice mom who welcomed me to New York. I will click on your sons link as soon as I can!
Also, thank-you to Sammi's mom and the rest for welcoming us here!
It sure is different. NOT bad, just different. Imagine the tale about the Town mouse and Country mouse. I am the country mouse. You get the idea! :)
Lots to tell about, but I'll just briefly tell you the biggest adventures.

A few weeks ago, for the first time in thier lives, the girls went to the beach! Me too. I have been at beaches and near lots of them, just never actually On one. Rob took us to a beach here called Short Beach. The tide was out so we got to walk across the shallows to a sand bar. The kids had a blast in the sand and water. Building sand castles, chasing sea gulls, splashing in the water. Collecting shells, the whole bit! Me too! We went two days in a row. I watched two Hermit crabs fight over a shell. I found it very amusing. One tried to drag it away while the other one hung on and tried to dig in his little feet to keep the other one from getting away, then the first one stopped and climbed over the shell and tussled with the other one. Etc. I am easily entertained. :)
So, Brianna loves school. She loves the bus. She went on her very first field trip yesterday. She is excited for her birthday coming up on the 27th. She is going to be Snow White for Halloween. Remy is a stinker. Being her usual adorable self. She is going to be a leggless Sponge Bob for Halloween. She insisted on this costume, and there is no small sizes. the smallest we found goes to her toes. It is just the yellow body. It should be interesting!

Aizee is doing GREAT! She is going to be Cinderella for Halloween. AND, she and I and Rob had quite the adventure yesterday. We rode a train to New York, then caught a Yellow Taxi for the hospital. See, one of previous Oncology Docs transferred from Primaries to Mount Sinai. So, we figured we would go there to see her (she is such a lovely person! And excellent doctor) then she could give us a great local Yale Recomendation.
Aizee was up bright and early all ready to go. It was my very first train commute as well. We sat by a very nice lady who gave Aizee her window seat. Aizee chattered all the way to the station. Then Rob hailed a cab. For some reason, I did not think the way they show it on tv is really how you get a cab. Never really thought about it too much. Aizee talked about riding in the cab all the way to the hospital, why I was a frozen statue of dread. How these guys Never crash is beyond me. The adrenaline from fear was enough to keep me peppy for awhile! New York is BUSY! Lots of stuff.
So, then trying to figure out where to go in this HUGE hospital was interesting. The Hem/Onc area is nothing like Primaries. But the staff are Very competent except for one person. The rooms are painted with cute outdoorsy animal scenes. Wonderful child life Lady. The Doctors and nurses are very prompt and attentive. But none of the extras you get at Primaries. Like the tvs in every room. The big tables with blankets. No Foster Grandmas (Pink Ladies) And no Angie and Sandy checking you in or out.
And the vitals lady is the same who does the finger pokes. The first lady did a horrid job. Poor Aizees finger. :( But the second one was very charming and got the second poke to work great.
We met other parents. I felt sad seeing a little boy about Aizees age with his port accessed. Brings back not too good of memories. He is almost in Maintanance. His parents are looking forward to that.
Over all, not a unpleasent experience.
Another cab ride back and another train trip. There where kids on the train that seemed to enjoy destroying the posters that are on there. That made me feel bad. And boy, did I have a ton of questions from Aizee about it!
She talked about that trip all night!
Brianna had gotten a pumpkin from her field trip and So wanted to carve it. So, Granddaddy went and bought two more. I spent the afternoon helping the girls gut and carve their pumpkins. It was a blast!
Rob got a great job at The University of New Haven. He is in charge of the food service. He seems to like it!
We are getting a car soon. One with reverse even! :)
I have a job too. So, all in all, things are looking up.
Aizees counts came back great. They seemed low until the Doc explained that at sea level, they do not need to be as high as they needed to be in Utah. Little bit of trivia there for everyone to know. She may have asthma though, so we need to take her to a Pulminary specialtist. I'll let you know what goes on with that.
Thanks for reading here. I'll update the photos when I can!
Hope all is going well with you and yours.
Have a YIPPEE day!

Oh, and My mom started Radiation today.She seems to be handling her illness better than I am.

Thursday, October 7, 2004 3:55 PM CDT

Hello out there. I am on a zippy little Library computer. <3 thank you little library. :)
So, lets see here....
Aizee seems to be doing fine. Has a wicked cough again. This cough I think will be with her forever. Other than that, she seems to be very happy. Very busy. Lots of new relatives to meet and charm. Lots of new sights and she likes the beach. She wants Nuni to take her there to build sand castles. And Nuni will. When it gets a little less chilly out.
Our second day here, we took to girls to a little YMCA carnival. They had a blast. They have all sorts of little things like that here and there. All kinds of community stuff. It is refreshing.
Okay, let me back up here a bit.
My mom-in-law came to our house in Oakley Ut a few weeks ago. Then she and I with the three girls flew to JFK in New York. The kids love planes. They were so good! The movie was Dodgeball. Hehehe!
Oh, got to see Air Force I at the airport, and the Aussie Pres was in town, etc. Big UN thing going on that day.
Culture shock. Trees and trees. And the drivers? New Yorkers who read here, why do people here drive so, er, um...not good? Just wondering if it is some skill I need to learn to get my new drivers liscens?:p
Got the kids settled in and Brianna in her new school. She gets to ride a special Kindergarten bus. She feels SO grown up!
Remy is on top of the world. So much busyness for a little kid!
So, I flew back to Utah and helped Rob load the truck. My dad helped more than I did in that respect.
Oh, and my mom is doing well. They go on a trip next week to visit my moms sister. Then she starts radiation. Other than terriably missing us, they are doing fine.
Anyway, so, I drove a 27 foot U-Haul with a car trailer all the way from Utah to Connecticut. I did not let Rob drive because I am anal like that. Or, well, I like to drive.
Hehehe, so, I had this little stereo that runs on batteries. To listen to Books on Cd. The truck says 'air ride' ya, my fanny.
The shocks were so bad, no way could I listen to anything on cd. :( Ohwell, plenty of odd radio stations to amuse myself with.
Saw lots of nothingness, corn, desert, fields, stuff like that. I'll tell more later. My time is almost up.
Still need to schedual Aizees first appointment here at Mount Siani (sp?) One of her first Pediatric Oncologists from Primaries relocted there. So, we are going there to see her to get a reccomendation to Yale. Her regular Pediatritian told me about an after care program they have there. They can monitor Aizee for adverse side affects and the like. So, this should be interesting. I am asking my Brother in law, who Rob tells me knows New York very well, to escort us to the hospital. Fingers crossed.
OH, and I now have a job. Start training on Monday. I have not worked for over 6 years, this should be interesting. Thanks for reading here.
Hope all is wonderful with you and yours!
Have a YIPPEE day! :)

Thursday, September 23, 2004 4:48 PM CDT

Just came by really fast to say hello out there. I am using a friends computer since mine is all boxed up and on a truck. I flew the girls to Connecticut. Just flew back in today to help Rob drive the truck. The kids are doing great. Lots to up-date on eventually.
The one terriable tragic thing about all of this that has me a bit in a very pessimistic mood is no pets allowed.
Seems that nothing ever goes Fully well for us. Just always half way. Almost there, then it always has to be somthing. Oh well. What can one do? Nothing.
If I could keep my heart from breaking to a million pieces, I would so do so. I know eventually all will work out and hopefully get better, just tired of things having to be a mess to begin with.
Aizee and Brianna and Remy seem to be enjoying it at Nuni's and Granddaddys house. There seems to be opportunities for Rob to get back on top. As long as they are happy and doing well, I am staying quiet. :)
Thanks for reading this and have a Yippee day!

I'll be sure to type a ton of fun tales later. The New Adventures of The Imp and her sisters at Nuni's house!

Saturday, September 11, 2004 9:36 AM CDT

~~~~~!!!!!!NEW PHOTOS!!!!!!~~~~~!!!!!!NEW PHOTOS!!!!!!~~~~~

Hello out there. Hehehe, ignore that messed up date on Aizees photo up there. My dads date changer on his camera is apparently broken.
And that smidge of yellow on her chin is from her lovely new medicine. It resembles Yellow Poster paint. I am not exagerating about that either. Hahahha, the docs and pharmacists can't even pronounce how it is called. Even better, it is so rarely used that a few docs and Pharms I have asked about it have never even heard of it. Guess Septra reactions are not that rare, but dapsone ones are. Go figure.

Well, my mom had her surgery. She starts radiation in October. She plans to take a trip to see her sister prior to that.
She seems to be doing well. She is more upset about not being able to really get into playing with the girls prior to them leaving. She feels cheated with that.
This move is going to be hard on her. I am not sure if my kids quite understand that they won't be able to just pop over to grandma's house all the time anymore.
Packing and packing away we are.
Nuni comes out next week, then I fly back with hers and the girls. Then fly back and help Rob drive the huge *** truck back.
We won't be going through Rochester :( Otherwise, I would drop by and say hello to Deidre and Debbie!
It has been very busy here.
Brianna LOVES school. She came home sick on Wednsday, so we kept her home on Thursday. She was so mad! I mean, I am glad she loves school so much that she threw a fit about going, a two hour fit at that; but still, nothing I could do about it.
Aizee still asks everyday if she can go. She is still a repeat and repeat, rinse and repeat about everything that gets stuck in her head. She has such a sense of humore as well. Such a scamp. She has also hit this rebellious thing.
OH! And hyper! When she really gets going, she does this voice, Rob is like what's up with the Pee-Wee Herman impersination? And her imagination has realy taken off!
She and Remy are playing better together now. Since Brianna is not around during the weekday, those two have really started to get along. It is tricky though. Brianna is pretty passive and easy going. Remy is very strong willed. VERY STRONG! And Aizee can go either way.
But she wants her way as much as Remy does. They are learning how to work it out so that is good.
Moving is going to be such an adventure. I know things will work out. Can't get any worse than it is here.
A van with no reverse is a sad thing to drive.
Hope all is well with you and yours. Got to get back to packing and stuff...blah
Thanks for visiting!
Have a YIPPEE DAY!

Thursday, September 2, 2004 2:28 PM CDT

Hey out there. My dad had given me some great pictures of the girls that he took. However, at this moment, I can not find them. I'll be sure to do my usual announcment of new photos when I do find them.
We went to the Make-A-Wish Rubber Ducky derby fundraiser on Sat. August28th. It was a blast. They always have it at Raging Waters water park. Of course my girls are alwayst thrilled with that. This year they were actually old enough to participate in all of the activities.
Aizee and Brianna got to be with Puddles, the Rubber Duck Mascot, for the opening ceremonies. Aizee was SO proud. She got to keep one of the sticks that held the banner than Puddles cut.
They made paper rockets that Saturn, one of the Sponsers shot off. They loved that! They rocket guys were pretty happy go lucky guys too. They laughed when one rocket went into the water and another one hit a lady on the head. They were just construction paper and foam tops. So, no way for injury to occure. Brianna wanted hers shot off again. Hers also happend to be the one that landed in the water. So, when they went to launch it off, it blew up.
Another activity was dressing up in fire clothes and using a fire hose to knock over cones and balloons. Aizee loved that. She loves water hoses. She especially found she likes fire hoses. Lots of power there! Then it was Brianna's turn and she hosed the crowd. HAHAHAHA!!
Then they created Wish Family pictures. Got their faces painted and played in a blow-up castle bounce thing. Then had lunch. Thank-you Chick Filet! :)
Then off to the water slides. For me, by myself, I do not mind water slides. If you wipe out, then it is just you who crashes. But when you have a little kid with you, it makes me nervous the tube may flip or somthing. FOrtunantly the only time I lost a tube was when I was alone. I found the perfect slide that Aizee and Brianna loved. It was for single tubes only and about a trillion stairs up. Me carrying three tubes over and over and over and over and over again. I was a bit pooped by the end of the day. The girls also LOVED the wave pool.
Last year at the same time, it was FREEZING!!! So, they did not want to get in at all. BRRR. This year, it was perfect.
My mom was kept very busy running around after Remy.
She also got us all Rubber Ducky T-shirts.
Speaking of my mom, I just learned she has breast cancer.
She tells me they caught it right away. That it is in the very begining stages. So, she is getting a lumpoctomy and radiation. I am still a bit shocked. And I feel bad.
We are moving out of state. Unplugging the computer on 9/19 at the latest.
But, I'll be back to get back into reading Other Caring Bridge pages and updating on the life of the silly threesome here.
Thanks for visiting us. Sorry I have not been by to visit others to say hello and let you know that I am thinking of you. BUT, I am thinking of all of you. Even if I do not let you know that.
Packing is a pain. Especially kids stuff. SO much itty bitty stuff. I think toys Do breed at night. OR somthing. Junk too.
Brianna Loves Kindergarten. Aizee asks everyday if she can go too.
Aizee loves to chatter and chatter and chatter. And she says funny stuff all of the time.
We went to play at a park yesterday. This park has a giant spider web type of climbing structure. SHe said she was a spider. I asked her if she ate plenty of flies. She just stopped and gave me this awful look and said in a huffy way of hers
"MOMEEE!! Flies are Disgusting!" then flounced away. She is somthing else.
Oh, one day all of our car locks stopped working so we were reduced to climb in and out of the windows. At first it was the driver side door. I would just climb over the console and out the other door. Then that door stopped opening. We would go out the slider. (it is a minivan)Then, after going to the post office and finding that door no longer opend. Called a lock smith and had to have all the locks ripped out. So, now all the doors open. But now we no longer have any other gear but drive and park. Reverse goes forward, neutral goes forward, park does park though. So, we are getting very creative with parking. Always pointed forward to get out. I am not wondering what is going to happen next anymore. I am a bit afraid to find out.
We found Kiwi a great home. Need a home for a Springer, Brittany spaniel dog. My lovey pup. She is the best, but we need to give her up when we move. If anyone wants to know more, or would even want to foster home her until eventually we can buy our own house, please let me know.
Thanks for visiting us. Have a YIPPEE DAY!

Sunday, August 22, 2004 8:43 AM CDT

!!!!!!!~~~~~~~~~~NEW PHOTOS~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hi out there!
First though, Robs best friend Eduardo died Wednsday night.
He was only 37 and it was quite shocking for all of his friends and family.
He was a very good friend and much of the memories of this family is tied up with him and his.
Not sure how to go from that to the birthday story, so I'll just jump right in with it.


Aizee had a great birthday. Lots of cake. Rob found a bakery that did Pokemon. She loved it! Gunar and Anders came over with their mom and they all played and munched out on goodies.
The pinata was fun to watch. Aizee was chewing gum, wearing sunglasses (inside) and just tapping it with the stick. Looking around and smiling. We got that on film. All the kids got lots of tries. Then after a half hour, I ended up having to break it open.
More pigging out for the kids. Nothing like lots of sugar!
I found a Playmobile camping/gold mine thing on sale! Score! Hehehe, after an hour, I had it all assmebled. I love how it says "some assembly" required. What do I not have to assemble? Actually making my own plastic and melting the pieces into forms?
Heheheh, and here is somthing silly. We had gotten Aizee a tiny folk castle. It was not until after we had it out and the kids were fighting, er playing with it that Rob noticed the box said "DO NOT AIM MISSLES AT YOURSELF OR OTHERS" heheheh.
We took Brianna to her back to school night Thuresday. She had fun. Aizee really wants to go to school too.
Since when do kindergarteners have homework?

Okay, here is some big news, we have decided to move. About the end of the month we should be out of here.
Anyone know of a home that needs a dog or two? I am being serious. We have four wonderful dogs and can not take them all with us. So, any help with that would be much appreciated!
Well, the munchkins are demanding breakfast!
Thanks for visiting us!
Have a YIPPEE DAY!

Monday, August 16, 2004 3:15 PM CDT

Hi out there!
Well, busy busy busy.
All of the time!
First, Rob and I had our 7th year anniversarry on the 12th.
My folks decided to help us celebrate it by getting us a romantic thing at a hotel for a night.. So, tomorrow, we are dropping the kids off to my parents house and going down to Salt Lake. It is the first time other than hospital stays either of us have been without the kids for an entire evening. It is going to be strange. NO complaints, but well, it has been 5 years since I have gone to bed without a twerp of three to take care of.
Eating in peace? What is that? No " Stop throwing peas at your sister!" " Please stop with the ketchup van gough's on the table!" No fifty potty breaks through out the meal! Etc! It is going to be strange. Wonder what Rob and I will actually talk about? Wonder if this fancy resurant has a tv? (lol)
Talk about how I guess I want this more than I want to admitt, I actually got a new dress. Two actually. (Summer and Deb, put your eyes back into your head!) I know I just shocked some people with that confession. Wait, it gets worse. High heels too.
Okay, let me pause here while those who know me and how shocking that is recover and climb back off of the floor into their chairs. hehehehehe
NO nylons though. I found smancy shoes that do not require them. ~Phwew~
I have no idea how we are going to spend our time together, but I know it will be nice regardless. I can't wait!
Aizee will be four on Friday! Busy week this has turned out to be.
Rob and I off to do what adults without kids around do...
Then, Thursday, Back to School Night at Brianna's school. Friday getting Aizees party ready. We are going to have it at my folks again so Gunar and Anders can come and play too. Aizee wants a Picatchu(sp?) cake. She wants a Poke-Mon/Princess party. Talk about a theme mixing!
I cannot believe she is four already! I think back and look back through the time and pictures. WOW, amazing.
It was all so dream like now. When you are living it, it is right there in your face. You get so worn out from stress, lack of sleep due to stress and medications, vomiting, a million things. SO many details to keep track of. Amazing.
Her latest clinic appointment went well. Her counts are wonderful. Her scar is changing, so when she is older, she may have to see a plastic surgeon. It used to be long and narrow. Now it is short and wide. Her hair is not growing at all. But it is thicker. She really wants a hair cut though. So, maybe I'll see if I can take her to a salon for 'a trim'.
She also has discoverd she loves earings. SO, for a huge gift for them all, getting ears peirced. NUNI!!!!
Let me explain...when Brianna was born, Nuni really wanted to get her ears peirced. Being a new mom, this made me nervous. Poking my child with a needle or somthing? Heck, when she had her first shots, I was hysterical the rest of the day. Little did I KNOW!
Also, hehhe, I have quite a few body peircings. Nuni thought it was funny I was against my baby getting her ears peirced. I told her I chose to do it and when Brianna is older, she can choose to as well.
So, the time has come. Peircings for everyone!
I will talk more about her birthday when it happens. :)
Aizee is loving Level Two of Swimming lessons! She loves the water. It is fun. Brianna's class is first. At nine a.m., then Aizees is at 9:30. So, she and Remy and I play. She is so hyper and full of pep it is wild! Then, when Brianna's class is over, Remy has had it in the water and wants out. This suits Brianna fine since she now has a few friends to play with while Aizee is now worn out and can actually stay still for her lesson!
My mom signed them up for basic tumbling as well. That happens in September. So, right when Brianna gets out of Kindergarten, she goes to tumbling.
August 25th is when Brianna starts school. The afternoon session. I am SO excited for her. She is so ready. ME TOO!
Aizee really wants to go. She is tired of hearing " Next year cutie!"
OH, and Aizees new favorite song is
" Put the Lime in The Coconut and drink it all up "
She sings it and sings it and sings it. I need to go buy that tape. Brianna loves " She wore an Itsy bitsy teeny weeny yellow polk-a-dot Bikini "
Remy just makes a lot of back-up vocal noise. Just a matter of time until she finds some whippy tune to join in with!
Erg, I have had to stop and start typing this so many times, I have no idea what I am babbling about anymore.
JUST, I think that when Fall hits, I will actually have time to spend reading caringbridge again.
Summer hours, they try and go to bed with the sun and get up with it as well. Long days! LONG, BUSY DAYS!
Brianna can do the Monky bars backwards now. Aizee loves the climbing wall and the firepole.
Remy is a slide kid.
Oh, I can now do the monkey bars again! GO me!
Anyway, I will write all about Aizees birthday next week!
She is going to be FOUR!!!!! You should see this kid in action! I should make a little mix of photos from when she was born, to a year, to when she was diagnosed to now.
Amazing.
Eventually, I can write up-dates with actual tales of adventures rather than these broad outlines of events!
Thank-you for visiting us!
I so hope all is well with you and yours out there!
HAVE A YIPPEE DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)

Wednesday, August 4, 2004 10:46 PM CDT

WOW Folks! Hello out there! NEW PHOTOS BY THE WAY!!!!!

Sorry it has been forever since I updated.
A lot of reasons for that. First though, let me tell you that right now, Aizee, Brianna and Daddy are on a camping trip way out in the yard! Remy is asleep in her bed so here I am, excited for their first camp-out and nervous as well!
We pitched the tent earlier in the afternoon. They have wanted to go to bed ever since! Hahaha!
We had a little camp-out cook-out! It was fun! Especially dessert. Hershey's and roasted marshmellows. Go me! I forgot the graham crackers. So partial shmore's. They were still a huge messy hit. So, it was not all bad. :)
The girls wanted to go to bed all day! They wanted to sleep in the tent that much! Kids! Too funny!
Okay, Rob got this fabulous job offer. It did not happen. Why not? He is OVER QUALIFIED!
That is the stupitest thing I have ever heard!
That is one reason why I have not kept up on updates. Waiting to see what the news was to share.
So, there it is.
I saw The Village. LOVED IT! Oh, and I kept forgetting to tell you that The Stepford Wives was great fun as well!
Anyway, another reason is a two parter. Being way busy here, and a bit guilty feeling for not reading other kids pages. I do try, and either a ton of stuff happens here, or somthing!
I just figured, it was not fair of me to expect you to read this page if I am not sharing that same courtousy to others. So, I just stopped updating.
The girls LOVE swimming. Aizee was supposed to be level two, but that class was too full. Works out though that she is in level one. Smaller class and she really responds to that!
THANK-YOU THANK-YOU THANK-YOU to all of you people out there for you kindness and generosity!
She loves everything that she is sent! Every card! Every gift! Kleenex Stock also thanks you since I end up buying so much! I tear up all the time! And that makes a nose run.
I have a ton of pictures with her and her cards and gifts. However, those are all on the film photos and I am so bad a actually getting film to the developer. The photos I put here are those I take with my little digicam. I used to take a lot more photos on that, but the thing eats batteries and silly me would forget to dl on here before the batteries up and croaked and they would be lost.

Aizee had her Blood check yesterday. Her counts look fantastic. Her hair will not grow, but they say it will one day. Her weight has not gone up at all, but it has not gone down. That is good. The only thing we have to watch is her port scar. It healed over some stitches that did not dissolve. She has some white pustule looking things. As long as they do not become infected, she is fine. As usual, she charmed the pants off of everyone in clinic. All three of them did. In thier little dresses and jewelry. Painted nails, crowns and ponytails. Talk about flamboyant!
Well, not Remy. Heheheheheh, a pony tail, that is all she wants and nail polish. She is not a big tiara or jewelry wearer. Finally a kid I can relate too!!!!! :p
Remy is talking so much! She says 'Tank-yu momee' and " MY whatever is that she feels is hers at the time"
She is one tough cookie.
Aizee is so adorable. She sits with her legs crossed, perched at the end of whatever she is sitting on with her hands folded on her knees. JUST LIKE NUNI! Nuni JR I swear! (Robs mom)
She is also a very broken record. She got these great monkey silk pajama's from a person I do not know if they want to be named here or not...MACS person....
She stripped right down and put them on and for the rest of the night all I heard was I got these neat jammies! I got these neat jammies! I got these neat jammies!
Or about her cards, I got these neat jammies! Were my bear card? I got these neat jammies! See my kitty on this card? Were my bear card? I got these neat jammies! Etc.
Very cuddly she is too! And is so healthy looking and vibrant, hyper, etc! Exactly were an almost four year-old should be!
Brianna is going to start Kindergarten three days after Aizee turns four! She is so ready! She thinks she is 13 already! Hahahah, tonight, I caught her dancing on this end table that they have in their play room and I said to her! You cannot do that until you are at least 21! Rob was not amused! She helps with her little sisters! No one could ask for a better big sister, well, one that is not so bossy! hehehebut I suppose that is her job. She can dive down 13 feet in the water and touch the bottom! She nows how to dive too! And she climbs trees like a monkey and swings on the monkey bars by her ankles like a monkey! She has a new found love for catterpillars too!
A whole wide world out there for all three of them and Rob and I are strapped in for that ride! Good thing I happen to enjoy wild rides!
Wow, this has gotten long. I apologize. Just lots to say.
Thanks for reading! Please say hello in the guest-book and I am going to go and try to do some catch-up on the Caringbridge!
HAVE A YIPPEE DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)

Sunday, July 18, 2004 10:21 AM CDT

~~~~~~~~~~~~NEW PHOTOS~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hi out there. We won half the case. We will win the other half in August.

Talk about blah. Sitting in a courtroom all day is very exhausting.

Anyway, the kids have been having a ball. My mom spoils them BIG time. She bought handle and chain monkey bars that she installed. Three new swings, the list goes on.

I take them swimming almost everyday now. Except Saturdays, which is grandparent day. And Sunday since it is closed.

Aizee still has the awful cough. Her next appointment will be for the end of the month.
Other than that she is doing so wonderfully!!!
It feels like the last few years were all a bad dream.

I want to thank the Neat people from MACS for all the generosity. It is so amazing!!!!!

And Quilts Of Love. They are very supportive with Hugs and greetings to those families in need.

In the next few days my plan is to play catch up with all the families on Caringbridge. Then I will try and put re-caps here, like I used to.
I hope everyone out there is having a fun summer. Thank-you for stopping by! Please sign the guest-book!

Have a YIPPEE DAY!

Wednesday, July 14, 2004 10:11 AM CDT

Hey out there! Sorry it has been awhile since I up-dated. Just very busy! :)
And no new photos yet. I attempt to take them and they wiggle too much. I took a ton with my other camera, I just am not that good at remembering to get the film developed. Eventually I will though.

Okay, I last told about Lunch with Grandma. Heheheh.
We did eventually make it to the Zoo. The very next day. Rob packed a picnic lunch. The girls had a blast! I keep my comments to myself. Hogel Zoo is notorious for killing animals. They shot the chimpanzees one time. Two giraffes died this year. Long list that I won't bother you with.
Since The Animal Abuse Prevention people have finally stepped in, the zoo has improved a great deal! They Elephants are getting a new larger home to roam in!
I just hang out with my kids and watch them enjoy the day. :)
Remy loves Meerkats. (spelling?) and all small type of critters that run around.
Aizee really likes frogs and snakes and spiders. Brianna just runs from one exhibit to another one.
Then the days are swimming. Aizee LOVED her swim lessons. The pool area takes a few weeks break between blocks of lessons and she is so excited to take more. That is the plan for two weeks from now. More swim lessons. In the meantime, lots of playing in the yard, swimming pool, walks and visiting the grandparents.
4th of July, the parade goes right down the road that is right off of our little road. We get front row spots. The kids were very excited. Especially since this parade is very generous in the candy throwing. They gorged themselves on it. Then more health goodness at lunch. You know, chips and soda and hotdogs. :p Then we did the little pull-string fire works. Due to the drought conditions, no actual 'fire' ones allowed. The kids seemed to like the confetti pop ones.
Then Rob had to go to work and I took the girls swimming. Then home to play in the sprinklers in the yard.
We let them stay up until 11 so they could all watch the BIG ones. This town is on the National Rodeo Circut. Tons of Rodeo stuff. Plus, fireworks everynight. But, the girls only got to stay up one night. And, once again, we live in a convient place. We can just sit in our backyard and watch them go off from the rodeo grounds. The looks on their faces as they watched them in awe was well worth the tired heck that went on the next day. Because we had to get them up way early to take them to my moms so she could babysit. Rob and I needed to be in Salt Lake to see our lawyer. Due to the nutcases trying to now get 20grand from us. Our attorney is so annoyed by these people he is charging us cheap. Almost for free. Even the few judges who have reviewed this case say they are nuts. Tomorrow is the trial. Then it is over with. We found out these people are the serial sue type. The kind who walks into a store and gets hurt and sues...stuff like that. Anything for a buck. Lucky us.
Anyway, last week my folks wanted to take us the Planetarium. The girls seemed to love it. We took them to see a Rock and Roll lazer show. IT was cute. It would go dark between songs. And everytime you could hear Aizee saying " Is it over?" I was holding Remy on my lap and she jammed out. Brianna just watched it in awe. She was very happy too since her favorite U2 song was on the play list. Elevation.
Then off to the IMAX theater to see a 3-d movie on BUGS. Talk about a wild movie!!!! If you have a planetarium with an IMAX and it offers that show, GO see it!
The one annoying thing about this place though is if you have to leave the theater for any reason, no re-admittance. 12 bucks a ticket and no refunds.(glad I did not pay or I would have been VERY not happy) I got lucky though. Remy was of course tired of having to sit still. Who could blame her huh? She kept wanting to run around so out of courtesy to the other people, she and I left. I figured since we had only been inside for 5 minutes, they would give me a refund. NOPE. Then Remy insisted on going back to the doors over and over. She is very tenatious that way. Finally the nice concessions guy said he would let us back in. He was very funny too.
So we got back in and watched the rest of the 3-D bug stuff.
My folks have gotten us a zoo memebership and a Planetarium one. Plus the Aquatics center. Busy summer going on.
Aizee still has this awful cough. The coidine only wires the heck out of her. And her port scar seems to be stretching. It used to be long and narrow. Now it is stout and wide. Got to figure out what to do about that. She is a girl after all and may wish to wear a strapless Prom gown one day.
Her 4th birthday is coming up in August. MAN!!!! Time sure zips along!
Remy is talking and skipping and being very busy. As I type this, I have had to stop several times to do this and that with and for her.
Brianna is thinking she is 15 or somthing. Her attitude anyway. She is very social and smart and fiesty. She loves being a big sister though. And swims like a fish.
My kids are breath takingly beautiful and fun!
Rob works and when he is not, he so loves hanging out with his family!
I ride my bike every morning and go to the fitness center every other night.
Busy family we are. And just enjoying that Aizee is healthy and trying to figure out what normal is.
This is one reason I must apologize. I have not visited any other CaringBridge pages for awhile. Not trying to blow anyone off or ignore other families. Just enjoying this family being together and having fun. I am sure once things quiet down a bit in the fall, I'll get back into it. So many people have been there for us and I want to reciprocate. Just for now, taking a break. Like waking up from a 2 year nap.
So, I am sure there are a few funny tales I have not written. Like when Remy decided to draw on her sisters while they were asleep. Or Aizee trying to hoola-hoop. Or Brianna and her flair for dress-up. That kid sure knows improv!
So, that's it for now. Thanks for visiting us. :)
Please sign the guest-book!
Have a YIPPEE DAY!

Wednesday, June 30, 2004 0:38 AM CDT

Hello out there.
Okay, here is a fun adventure. Today.
well, my mom offered to buy us a zoo memebership so we can take the girls anytime we want to go. I figured, lets do it today. Okay, take the kids to swim lessons and then go and pick-up my mom. She wanted to take us to lunch. We figure why not Ruby Tuesdays.
Oh, and it started to rain. So, we get the kids into the place, and are informed that they are out of kid cups. okay. No problem, I think....
My mom was on one side with Remy between her and Brianna. I am on the other side with Aizee on one side and Rob on the other. Okay, Remy being MISS I am independent TWO year-old does not want Grandma helping her hold her cup. It is a large heavy glass too. They only have one size cup. So, then Remy throws a fit. And boy can she kick. Well, I always have extra kid clothes, so I figure, lets empty out most of the glass and let her hold it. Heheheh, Remy and her temper. By that time she was so mad, that when my mom handed her her glass, she threw it. Nice wet Sprite mess. Then Remy decides to go under the table and hang out with Aizee and I. Aizee reaches across the table for some reason and knocks over my moms completely full coke all over her. My mom. Aizee is mortified and goes under the table and sobs while my mom, after jumping 30 feet in the air, tries to clean up this new mess. Thank-fully Rob found a dry towel, since our server was so smart and brought us a wet one to clean up with. Heheheh. Finally the food came. Remy ate all of my Brocoli. No complaints from me. Glad she likes it.
When we were done, my mom wanted to go clean up. Sticky sandles and all. Go out to the car and it is pouring out. We go to her house to call the Zoo to see what the weather is like there. See, in Utah, the weather changes with the terrain. Like, if it is a blizzard a their house, it will be blue skys and sunshine at ours. You can drive along and hit 3 different types of weather depending.
Park City can get about 3 feet of snow and nowhere else will get anything. Anyway, it is raining at the zoo as well. We decided to let the kids play at Grandmas house. Aizee was so cute when we told her we could not go to the zoo due to the rain. " I hope it stops "...she has this adorable voice. The plan is tomorrow, Pack a picnic and then get Grandma after swim lessons. Lets see if the noon meal is less messy! I had to laugh though. But of course I can do that. It was not me covered in soda pop!
The kids play all day. I do chaos control all day. Rob works...that is how it has been.
I will update the pictures soon!
Lots of kids to visit!
Thanks for visiting us and I hope you have a
YIPPEE DAY! :)

Friday, June 25, 2004 8:31 AM CDT

Hey out there! I will try to put new photos here soon. :)
It has been very busy around here.
The girls LOVE their swimming lessons! Aizee calls it her "listen to my teacher time". She is doing very well!
Brianna can really swim now. As opposed to her doggie paddle. She is great at the back stroke. Just trying to work on improving her front stroke. She and I do laps together. Her idea. She says stuff like, 'Come on Mommy! I need to practice and I guess I have to have you there too."
Went to my folks last weekend. Gunar and Anders with their dad came over for a barbeque. That was fun. The kids had a blast. My parents also got Remy a Pinata. Since they were out of town for her birthday. Heheeh, it was one of the pull-string ones and none of the ribbons opened it. So, I got to gut it. Which means, I got get some candy too!
When Anders went home for his nap, the rest of us took a hike. Where I grew up, it is all mountains and forests. Remy lead the way. I was amazed at her ability to hike up a mountain. She refused to be carried. We are talking 10 percent incline. She did it.
We are planning on doing that again tomorrow!
Aizee's appointment went well. Her counts look good. Once again though, they did not give me a copy. I did not request it more than 2 times though. Next time, I'll make it three times asking.
She is so funny. Since she has been de-port-ed, we go next door to the blood lab for a finger poke. She remembers it from last month prior to surgery. She sat right down, gave him her hand, not even a flinch. Then, hopped right down and went right to the prize drawer even before he suggested she get a prize. She has her priorities you know.
Then she had to have a chest X-Ray. She has this cough and has had it for awhile. At night it sounds awful. Like her lungs want to get up and take off. She coughs like that a bit during the day as well. But like all things, worse at night.
Her chest looks great. So, they think it must be somthing irritating her throat. She is on Coidine now. They said I could give it to her every 4 hours. However, that would keep her doped out of her mind and I do not want that at all. So, right before bed, I dose her. Seems to be helping. I hope it is just the dryness around here causing it and it will clear up eventually.
Right after all that, we took the girls to the Tracey Bird Avery.
Wow, memories. Aizee was younger than Remy is now when we used to take her and Brianna every Saturday.
Remy had a blast. She even almost caught a Peacock. I have photos of a tiny Brianna chasing an Albino one. And photos of a really tiny Aizee playing on the grass. Then, after the bird fun, we took them to the rickety rides at Liberty Park. WOW, prices had gone up! These rides are from the 1910 era. I think the Merry-Go-Round is like from 1800 sometime. Not exaggerating either. The tickets used to be about 50 cents. Now they are 1.50. One reason we used to take the girls there so much is because it was a fun, Cheap time. We used to live right by Park City Mountain Resort at that time in life. And they had rides there as well. Those rides cost as much as these do now.
Anyway...
When we are home, we are usually in the yard. The girls love to chase each other with the hose. They found a way to make a great muddy goopy mess under the swings. Then roll in it. Talk about 3 little piggies! I think my washing machine is planning a revolt!
The garden has gotten huge.
Rob got the job, but he had to turn it down. They asked if he had a problem with being transferred every 2 years. He automatically said he would not do that. Which is true. He sort of forgot that we wanted to move, and should have said yes. Then changed jobs once we were there. But, I think the Marriott has a contract that you sign to prevent that sort of thing. Ohwell.
I have not been on the computer for a few days. Too busy! Get up way early and just go and go and go. Then going to bed early as well. Today there are no swimming lessons, so I get a chance to catch up a bit.
Remy is starting to talk up a storm! Brianna is anxious for Kindergarten to start. Aizee is growing so tall and looks great! She is really blossoming. She is talking more and more as well. And is very active and just happy!
All three of them are just happy and fun! And that is what makes my heart feel great!
Sorry I have not been around to visit many of the other families out there. I am off to do so now.
Thank-you for visiting us. Please Sign Aizee's Guest-Book!
Have a YIPPEE Day!

Thursday, June 17, 2004 0:48 AM CDT

Hello out there. I found a GREAT Muppet Theme Midi, but it won't work. Darn. So, now you get the Merry-Go-Round Broke Down Again song. That is the true title of that zippy tune by the way!
Everything is fine!
Sorry I have not updated in a bit. I do have lots of silly tales to tell. However, I just realized it is now midnight. My lovely little twerps enjoy getting up about 5:30 or a quarter to 6 A.M.!!!!
I get up too. I make coffee (LOTS OF IT TOO!)
and feed them breakfast. Then, when Rob gets up, I go for a bike ride. About 6 miles. Then, I get Brianna ready for her swim lessons. SHE loves them. Aizee gets to start her own lessons next week! Thanks to my mom and dad.
She has developed a cough. It seems worse at night. So, we shall see. She does seem to be healing quite nicely though. It is odd to see her body without that lump anymore.
Remy is a chatter bug and I do believe she DID pick up her stinky little attitude right off the floor!
I have never encountered a child quite like her before. She is quite the character. She makes one smile while pulling your own hair out!
No news on the job yet. I hate this waiting thing. Too much waiting. Wait for this wait for that. Wait for counts, wait to see what this or that turns into, etc.
I want to know if I should start packing things already!
I did get 12 boxes of baby clothes packed up and donated to the Teen mothers center that is also a shelter for abused women and their children. IT really hurt to pack that stuff up. But I know that there are those who could really use it.
OH, and I need to go visit Brandon. I do believe his mommy has or is going to have a baby boy and name him Matthew!
I have been meeting new kids (Check out the QOL index above. 3 new pages of quilts that have pages at the bottoms)
So, not to mean to neglect my 'regular families' that I visit. Just trying to say hello to these others as well.
Arg....got to get organized so then I can go by and visit everyone at least once a week and say HELLO! And send hugs and all sorts of stuff to all of you!
If I actually did get organized, I think that would shock my mom in law! :)
Okay, off to bed with me now and later I will tell some fun tales that should be told!
Have a YIPPEE DAY!

Sunday, June 6, 2004 4:04 PM CDT

HI out there. ~~~~~!!!!!NEW PHOTOS!!!!!~~~~
Thank-you for telling Remy happy birthday!:)
She is having a blast! I will put photos of her creating cake havok later. The ones I put in today are from the antics of the yard this afternoon.
I love summertime! Going outside and playing. Eating messy treats and stuff. Getting all sticky and playing in the sprinklers. Good 'ol fun like that!
We are taking Rob to the airport right after cake and present time. FINGERS crossed everyone that he gets this job! It would be so great if he did!
Tommorow is going to be rough. See, Brianna's swimming lessons start. The plan was that they were early enough in the morning that Rob would hang-out at home with Aizee and Remy while I took Brianna. Especially since Aizee can not go into the pool until June 17. Doctors orders.
YIKES, so I get the fun of taking Brianna to her first class and feel like I am torturing the other two. Ohwell, I know it will be okay. It will smooth out.

Anyway, as you can see by the photos, this is the sort of stuff we have been up to lately. BUSY BUSY BUSY.
There is also a new park they built just down the road, at the new Rodeo fairgrounds. I take them there as well. At night, by the time they have dinner, bath and bed, I go to bed too. So, I have not been able to really keep up with the caringbridge family like I was able to before. My apologies.
I'm working on trying to get up earlier. Trying to get into some semblence of organization.
Thank-you for visitng us. Please sign the guest-book.
I know I have been a slacker, but please don't you be one too and if you do get a moment, please say hello to any of the many kids who love visitors! Thank-you!
Remy!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

I almost had her in the street. I took Brianna and Aizee for a walk. We used to live in an area where it was one mile each way to the store. I needed to go to the Pharmacy to get Methetrexate for Aizee. I got it and each girl a balloon and a yogurt pop. Walking there was fine. Coming home was hard!!!!! Finally got home and called my mom. She got to the house and our then neighbor took me to the hospital. Rob got there as soon as he could. And out came Remy. MAD as all hell.
BUT SO ADORABLE! Still is!
She was able to go with us everytime Aizee was admitted to the hospital. She had been in the hospital as much as Aizee. Until this last time.
Now she is TWO!!!! I see her and am shocked at how tiny she is, how tiny Aizee was. WOW. time sure goes a long and along.
Brianna is so cute. She told me Now, don't forget the guests! :)
I asked her what Guests? Grandma and Grandpa are on vacation. Nuni and Granddaddy are at home.....
Heck, Aizee had her 2nd birthday in the hospital and she is doing fine. I told Brianna the whole out bashes are for when kids are a little older. She was okay with that.
AND, trying to find anything for the 3rd daughter is hard! I mean, she has more than enough clothes and toys....etc. It was hard and I hope she likes what i got her. One thing is a talking Vaccum cleaner. She loves to help and takes the push-me-popper to help me clean the floor! So, now she can 'help' in style.
Anyway, I love my family more than words can ever express!
Have a YIPPEE DAY! :)

Wednesday, June 2, 2004 9:18 AM CDT

Hi out there!
Have any of you seen Julianna's page? Wow, everyone has her pink bracelets. :) AND, there is a HUGE link page! A ton of kids! So, sort of all in one visit there!
JTROWE may be getting out of the hospital today! Fingers crossed!
Other than that, I am not sure what is going on with everyone right now. It has been a little busy around here.
Remy will be two on Sunday! Man, time so flies. Aizee spent her second birthday in the hospital. I see Remy and am amazed at how little Aizee was enduring all of this!
She is doing great! Just no swimming until June 17.
Monday is going to be tricky. Brianna starts her swimming lessons. 9a.m. The plan was I would take her while Rob hung out with Aizee and Remy. My mom wanted to pay for it, so I had her enroll Brianna in the earliest class possiable. That way, it would give Her and I time together and he could take care of the other two before he had to go to work. Well, hehehe, he is going to be out of town this Monday. Brianna's first class. And Aizee can not go into the pool. So, somehow, I get to get Brianna settled into her class and handle the freak out that I am sure is going to come from Aizee. Ohwell. I know we will survive. Just won't be an easy morning. That is just how it goes.
I had a scare this Monday. See, I have this Black Long haired Dashund. Fabien. I have had him since 1990. He is 17 now. Well, Monday, when I went to get the dogs in, he could not walk. He looked awful. If you saw him, you would have thought his number had come up. I talked to my dad and he said he would help us out and to take him to the vet. I did yesterday. Heck, Monday was a holiday and they charge over double for an after hours visit.
Went yesterday. They took an x-rayor two. I was very afraid. I thought I would have to make a serious choice.
HE IS FINE!!!!!! The feeling of fear being lifted felt great! He just has a little inflamation around a disk or two. So, he has to take this pill everyday. For a dog his age he is remarkably healthy! Just have to carry him up and down stairs and not allow him to jump on or off furniture. So, that was happy for me to learn. He seemed happy too. I swear, he was all moody going to the vet, then very bouncy on the way out!
Here is a wild tale! We took the girls to the park yesterday. Play play play! :)
Oh, first, this park is in a canyon. Surrounded by mountains. On the other side of one set of mountains, are ranches. Most of that land is used for freegrazing of livestock. Also at this park is another fenced in area. A dog play area too! It is hard to really describe. Anyway, out of the blue, on top of this mountain, here comes this Beautiful Black Stallion. Tearing down the mountain. With a Husky literally on its tail. This horse is freaked to the max. It comes tearing into the park. Dogs are barking and all of us parents made sure the kids were in secure places on the play equipment. The horse tore around the park and went into the soccor field. Then, here comes this guy, down the mountian. The horse then takes off for the other side of mountains. Problem is, I-40 is on the other side of those. Utah is very awful for roadkill. I do not think you can drive anywhere without seeing smashed critters. Not just one or two either. Anyway, this guy finally makes it to the park. He is shaking and asking for a cell phone. He said the dog was his roommates and the horse was his neighbors.
When we drove back down the road, there were about 6 cop cars and 2 animal control everyone was looking up the mountianside bordering the freeway. There was a helicopter in the air.
Pretty wild thing you don't have happen often.I watched the news, but no mention of it. I hope everything turned out okay.
Anyway, so far, the yellow poster paint med that replaced the Dapsone and the septra seems to be not bothering Aizee. No signs of allergic reaction and I hope it stays that way! She is tired of it already, but, she takes it.
The weather is finally getting nice and warm. Though we could use more rain.
Things are going along just spiffy here. Hope that is how it is for you too!
Thank-you for visiting us. Please sign the guest-book!
And if you can take an extra moment or two to say hello to other kids, please do so! Visitors are always fun! Thanks!
Have a YIPPEE DAY!

Friday, May 28, 2004 9:22 AM CDT

Hello out there. Yesterday went smooth. Primaries has been up to a lot of newness. The patient surgery check in is completely new. The Waiting areas, all of it!
We got to clinic right at 8am. Got sent to the blood lab for a finger poke. Then upstairs to get checked in.
Then to the playroom. Aizee got to go earlier than expected. The child ahead of her, the parents decided the surgery could wait.
I hung out in the parent area watching the Hisory Channel. I learned quite a bit about the decline of the American Indians and the rise of industrialzation.
About 40 minutes later, the surgeon came in to tell me she did great. Then after that I got the call to go into recovery. She had been put under with Cottoncandy smelling gas. Then given some demerol. She was a bit loopy. When she was awake enough to talk, all she would say was CRACKERS. She was mad at the nurse and I because she could not have any right away.
She drank her juice, hung out and watched Tom and Jerry, until the nurse said it was okay for her to go. She got her crackers in the wagon ride out the door.
They did not let me keep her port. Apparently hospital policy JUST changed and they no longer allow it. :(
I was pretty bummed out about that. I wanted to put it in her keepsake box. Ohwell.
She was in a bit of pain last night, but Tylenonl did the trick. She is doing GREAT this morning. Good thing it is ucky outside so, I can encourage her to chill out and heal.
Remy, THE STINKER, would not go to bed. Would not sleep. Finally gave in about 1am.!!!!!!
Brianna had a blast yesterday. She and daddy played Chutes and Ladders, all sorts of stuff.
She is getting so big. I am so proud of all three of my kids.
Well, that is it for now. Thank-you for visiting us. Please sign her guest-book. When you get an extra moment or two, please go visit outher kids out there and sign their books as well. Thank-you.
HAVE A YIPPEE DAY!

Thursday, May 27, 2004 7:28 AM CDT

Hello out there. Today's the day (sounding like Steve era Blue's Clues) :)
Clinic at 8am and then off to surgery by 8:45.
So, I have my cococola packed up and a book.
Aizee is still sleeping and I am cramming my face with a fast breakfast.
I'll let you know how it went later! :)
Have a YIPPEE day! Thanks for checking on us.

Tuesday, May 25, 2004 10:45 AM CDT

Hi Out there!
Today, we are going to take the kids to see Shrek II. We have movie vouchers from Robs work. They are so excited!!
Okay, so, remember the other night when I went to bed by 9:30? Well I did and I fell asleep. (sorry Sandra, I was ill, not doing anything spicey! But I'll make somthing up and e-mail you that! :) )
Hehe, so there are the nights I have to stay up for a variety of reasons. Aizees meds, stuff like that.
And nothing happens.
So, the nights I go to bed early, a ton of things occure.
Kitty cats arguing. I just push them off the bed.
Remy woke up wanting to nurse despite the fact no more boob for her. She wanted to make an issue of it. I can not push her off the bed! :p I just snuggled her and fell back to sleep. Then, later still, I woke-up to AIzee crying. She had had one of her VERY rare accidents. So, I went in to help her. She wanted her green bunnies ( her name for footed Jammies~bunnies~!) Plus, all the other kid sheets are in the dryer. I go stumbling around not awake to find her PowerPuff Girl sheets. NO green bunnies. They were in the washer. She accepted her snowman ones instead. I made her go potty to make sure there would not be another one later. Here I am not awake and she is talking about a million different things loudly. I kept saying OH! Okay Whisper please etc. So, eventually, got her bed made up and her dressed and back into her bed. To go to my bed to find my spot had been taken. Got Remy back to her bed and got the cats off.
To be awoken at the crack of dawn with three little girls in bed with me fighting over a book.
So, the moral of the tale is, Going to bed early does not mean I will get the rest I want! I stayed up late last night and nothing happend. I watched a really really stupid movie and went to bed.
The last few days have been windy and cold. We go outside to play. I give them Iceepops. They eat it then they get cold. Inside we go where they trash the other play-room and I get some chores done. While I watch trashy tv! hehe!
Anyway, Thursday is fast approaching!
The kids are so excited about the movie today. It will be fun!
Okay, I keep forgetting to answer some questions I get. I will do that now.
Brianna is 5. Bri-ane' Lillianna
Aisalynn is going to be 4 in August. Ignore the A. Long I- salynn.
Remy will be two on the 6th of June.
Rem -ee. :)
I hope I was able to explain that clearly! :)
Thanks for visiting us! Thank-you for all the guest-book entries!
Please go visit other kids when you get the chance and tell them hello too! Thanks!
Have a YIPPEE DAY!

GO SEE SHREK II!!!! It is Great!:)
The girls had a blast! As so did Rob and I!

Sunday, May 23, 2004 8:48 PM CDT

Hello out there!
It has been wet and cold here for a few days. It hailed a lot yesterday. The kids are sick of being inside. But, they don't want to go out and get all wet either. I am all for that. Playing in the rain sounds good to me! :)
I took Brianna in to check out her soon to be Elementary School! She did her little Kindergarten Assessment test. She did great! She got a book. One of my favorites that I had actually on planned on buying. Chicka Chicka Boom Boom!
I sing it to her. I used to always sing with the tape when I still taught young child education. She loves it.
Aizee keeps talking about going to Kindergarten too. Poor lovey. Has to wait one more year. Brianna will start 3 days after Aizees 4th birthday.
Brianna got her little physical and she is so healthy! But very petite. Leslie traced her growth curve. If Brianna stays on the same curve that she has been consistant with her entire little life, she will only be five foot three. The same size as her Nuni! Aizee is only one inch shorter than her.
Remy's second birthday is coming up. MY GOSH! They do grow so fast!
Seeing Brianna get her little check-up by the same doc who did her er...PICU? testing and all of that. Seen her since she was born....Made me tear up at how fast she is growing! Her little attitude is going to outgrow her if she is not careful!
Aizee is doing well. Busy and full of beans! I had to laugh when I read Gemma'spage. Her mom Sandra says that too!
NEXT WEEK!!! Port removal! I just want this to be over with. Maybe I will actually stop being afraid. Eventually.
Thanks for coming by to visit us. I thought I chose appropriate music! :)
Please sign the guest-book! Hehehe, and I am not picky if it is long or short! I am just thankful that you come by and say HI!
Please go visit other kids when you can and sign their books! Some do take a moment or two to load up. Just so you know!
I have an awful cold and it is making me miserable. So, I am going to go to bed now. Beife 9p.m. NO LESS!!! Amazing!
Have a YIPPEE DAY!

Wednesday, May 19, 2004 10:34 AM CDT

~~~~~NEW PHOTOS~~~~~~
AND NEW CHILDS LINK. Go meet Connor and his family!:)

So, wow, what a week home it was.
Aizee came home accessed. Our home nursing/pharmacey had dropped off all the supplies to do her meds. I just needed to call to make sure I remembered how to do it right. Flush, med, 1cc perminute jobby. Then another flush and a heplock. Every 8 hours.
The kids were SO spazzy trying to readjust to being together again. Being cooped up in the house did not help.
Her anc was still low. We would go play in the yard for a bit. However, it was WAY windy. Plus, they are building a new fairgrounds down the way from our house. THe wind would blow all of the dirt amongst other things our way.
Then, on Saturday, I had planned on taking them for a walk to the post office. Well, it so happens that was when they decided to put the DINO water on sale. For the very first time. Thousands of people invaded this town for their chance to buy it first. Kens cash 'n carry is right across the street from the post office. Rob passed it on his way to work and called to inform me of the crowd. So, there went that plan.
Nothing exciting about being stuck home all day. I am not complaining. Just stating a fact. I got Mnt Laundrey put away. Got a ton of chores done.
Remy locked herself in my bedroom. I had to do a combo of prying it open with a butterknife while kicking it. The entire time she is freaking out in there. That was interesting. None of my kids have ever done that before.
Our garden is actually growing peas! :)
The pshycho ex landlords are still hounding us. This is getting insane. We went to a settlement hearing, and even the judge told them that they were being silly. He told them that there is no grounds for their claims. That they were being exceedingly disruptive and out of control...etc.
Even after that, they are pursuing a trial. And it gets better. The neighbor we had there we found is willing to lie on the stand in their behalf. My folks are livid!!!!
Because they know the situation. Everyone knows Wendy is a liar, and a gossip, etc. Good little mormon house wife who has a MRs. Kravitz side. A Mrs. Kravitz without the charm. Mrs. Kravitz- think the long ago show Bewitched.
OH, and now they want 12grand. :O
Hahah, also, the husband who was involved in this bailed out. He wanted nothing more to do with it. Leaving it all up to his nutty wife. Rob and I always knew, along with our parents, that she was a bit off in the head. If you ever met this lady, you would know exactly what I mean. Just hope you never have the displeasure!

So, that took our entire day Monday dealing with. Blech.
TUESDAY!!!! Aizee got deaccessed. Her anc went way up to 1600!!! YAY! While we were in clinic, Jeremys mom, Pam came to say hello! She is awsome! So, go say hello to JTROWE and his family. He has not been feeling well. It is a bit of a bummer because he had been doing great until recently. They even thought they would have gotten out last week. Hopefully whatever it is will clear up and they can get out soon.
Since Aizee got deaccessed, to celebrate, we went swimming last night! And it was wonderful! All of us really missed that!
Brianna starts her swimming lessons in June. Remy turns 2 on the 6 of June.
So, that is all I have to babble about for now....
OH, Alice the Pregnant horse had her colt. It is SO ADORABLE!!!! Running around on its little twig legs. The girls always call out HELLO Alice and Baby Alice. Too cute!
Okay, so thanks for visiting us! I always read Aizee her guest-book entries!
If you get a chance, please go visit other kids! Like This brave and tough SOUL! Patrick He has relapsed for a 3rd time.
Along with so many other kids who really enjoy knowing that there are people out there who really care!
Thanks. Have a YIPPEE DAY!

Thursday, May 13, 2004 5:25 PM CDT

Hi out there. We are home. The kids are being absolutely crazy.
Aizee is still accessed. I have to do her med every 8 hours.
I have not done flush or heprin or any of that since December of 2002.
No more baths or swimming for awhile.
I miss the same 'ol same 'ol routine we had.
I'll write more later. Thanks for checking on us.
Please go say hi to JTROWE and his awsome family!!!
Have a yippee day.

Wednesday, May 12, 2004 2:37 PM CDT

Hi there. This will be a short update. I snuck down to the 3rd floor computers. Aizee is watching Barbie and the Nutcracker, AGAIN!
Rob just left with Brianna and Remy. :( I SO MISS THEM!!!!!
So does Aizee. And they miss us.
We get to stay another night.
Temp high still. Though there are times of no temp at all. That is a plus. She has to be fever free for at least 24 hours. Her anc though is still only 200.
So far, the conclusion to the rash is due to the DAPSONE.
They have her on a new med. The first one I can not even begin to pronounce. I have the name written down upstairs. It looks just like bright yellow poster paint. Lovely. I was not too comfortable giving her a med that looked like that. It must not taste bad though because Aizee took it and did not make a face or anything.
So, that is that for now.
Thank-you for visiting us. :)
Have a happy day.

Tuesday, May 11, 2004 11:31 AM CDT

Hi.
HI PAM!!!
So, her counts now dropped to 200. There are a lot of H's and L's on her numbers. Things that are high, and things that are low. When they check things, they have References and values. If hers are above those are below,they get marked.
So,counts are 200, and temp moves from 103 to 100.9. Or,39 to 38 .
Her rash looks less sever. That is a plus.
She is in her big hospitl bed playing with a great doll set that Mike from Child-Life brought her. She is fun to listen to. She seems to be happier now. She was pretty grumpy earlier.
She talked to Brianna onn the phone last night. Hearing her chatter to her big sister made me tear-up. I miss her. And Remy.
We are staying another night. Got to figure out if my moms back feels well enough to keep up with the girls again. Or, if Aizee is okay with Rob coming here for the night and I take the other two home, or what.
When Remy was born, I was llowed to ring her with us anytime Aizee was admitted. Now that she is almost 2....well, she is too big and busy for that111 My mom said she and Brianna were hving fun though.
So, that's it for now.
I got to cht with Pam a little bit. She is a neat lady. Her son, Jeremy, his page is linked under JTROWE. Go say hello! Thaks!
well, Aizee want another movie in. That meansI got to go.
Thanks for checking in on us!
Please sign her book. thanks. And please go say hello to other kids when you can.

Our room number is 4422.
Have a nice day.

Monday, May 10, 2004 8:53 PM CDT

Hello out there. Aizee is in the hospital. ANC dropped from1300 to300. Fever of 103. She is on again off again chipperness/ikyness.
I am sitting across the romm typing ths. The tvs here are a combo computer,cdrom,dvd,cd,tv thing! Pretty fancy. And a bit akward to type .
Room number is 4422.
The weather sucks! We would have a great view if it was not so cloudy out!
I'll update later.
Have a yippee day.

Sunday, May 9, 2004 8:19 AM CDT

Hi out there! HAPPY MOMMIES DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My plan had been to go and say that in each and every guest-book! To all the great mommies that are out there!
I am still going to do that, but tonight.

Yesterday, Aizee spiked a 102 fever and got covered by a purple blotchy rash. Dr. Bruggers said she needed to be seen. So, on the way to Primaries, I dropped Brianna and Remy off at my folks. Then get to the ER. It was a long wait there. I did get Aizee to pee in a cup. It was busy there. I believe a life-flight or two came in while we were there. It was weird, because I started to feel very anxious. I just wanted to get AIzee and just leave.
When the nurse came in to access Aizees port, Rob called.
The 3rd story deck, off of my dads den collapsed. WITH MY mom and Remy on it. Remy was unhurt, but my mom was in pain. So, My dad took Brianna and Remy to Gunar and Anders house. And off to a different ER my mom went!!!!
If my dad happens to take photos of this mini disaster, I will put them on later.
Aizees counts look fine. Just, on our way out, her fever was 103. They gave her tylenol and told me to call if I was worried or if there were any changes. That is so frustrating. I guess if she did not have cancer, I would not be so anxious. Because, kids do get fevers and infections. And, they get over them. But, with her, I never have any idea what I am dealing with. And this whole rash thing is getting a bit old!
Anyway, left the er, picked up the girls and surveyed the damage of the deck. YIKES!!!!!
Got home very late last night, so no book signing.
My mom called and said her tail bone is twisted and only time will fix it. She is on pain meds. She still wants to go to LAGOON with us today.
For my moms day present I wanted to go to an Amusement Park! My mom wants us to go even if she decides not too.
Brianna has already given me her list of what she wants to do. She is all excited to be able to ride 'THE BIG RIDES!':)
I am excited too!
Remy seems fine to day, but a bit emotional. Go figure. That was quite the experience! Rob has been calling her Humpty-Dumpty all day!
When we get home tonight, I plan on telling everyone of you lovely mommies Happy Mothers day! Thank-you for visiting us! Sorry I have been slacking in the visits lately! I'll get back to it!
Have a YIPPEE DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Monday, May 3, 2004 10:33 AM CDT

~~~~MORE NEW PHOTOS~~~~~~~~~~~~Oh, and the date thing on the camera is broken, so that is why it looks way off!:)
Hi out there!
Today is the first day with out any chemo pills. It feels weird. I do have to give Aizee her Dapsone everyday.
But it felt odd not crushing up a 6mp or a steroid. And Thurs is going to be odd without Methetrexate.
I am thrilled that no more pills! Yet a tiny bit afraid. Two years and 3 months actively fighting this. Now doing nothing. Habits can be hard to get over. I am not complaining, just saying that it feels odd.
It is a bit emotional as well. Like a decompression stage. Anyone else have that? You are happy, but then get all emotional and that sort of thing for a day or so? Hard to explain.
Her rash is almost gone too! She looks like herself again! YAY!
And is she ever HYPER! That is somthing that is getting more and more. She is trying to make up the last few years RIGHT NOW! And it is fun! Three little squealing kids running amok through the house! Thankfully swimming every night right before bed wears them out!
Yesterday, my dad had us over for a little bar-b-q. He cooked the kids hotdogs, me, himself and Fabien (my dog)a steak. It was very pleasent. I took the kids for a hike through the woods. It is shocking though, how many trees are dead. When I was a kid, it was an impenetrable forest. Now due to salt useage and other crap, many trees are dead or dying.
Then, we went to play a bit at Gunar and Anders house. Had fudgecicles. Came back to 'gwanpa's howse'. I took Brianna on a little hike, until I heard the other two giving my dad a rough time. I told her when Grandma was back home, it would be easier to take walks together.
My moms brother was taken off life support last week. His memorial service was on Friday I believe. I am still a bit shocked that he is gone.
Got home and let the girls have 3 pop-sicles eac~, it was a hot day. Played a few hours in the yard while I attempted to read my new Dean Koontz novel. The Face!
I even went to bed early to read in bed. Funny, when I go to bed early, I wake-up tired. I have no idea why.
Still, it is a good book and I may do that every night until I finish it!
Right now the girls are ganging up on Rob. Being stinkers. I better get going to do the sun-screen clothes thing. Since the weather has been so wonderful, I now have Mnt. Laundrey on the chair. I don't care. I'll deal with it later! :) Taking walks to the post office and making a huge mess in the yard is much more fun. Just got to get our faucet fixed. Eventually.
On a sad note,Savannah is now an Angel.
Everyone else is doing pretty good. Katia, in case you did not know got out of the hospital. The photos her mommy puts on her page are adorable! Julianna has a great article on her page about the wonderful support and bracelet making that is going on! JTROWE is doing great with his BMT! Stuff like that.
Thank-you for visiting us! PLEASE SIGN Aizees Guest-book! We love reading it!:)
If you can, please go visit other children. And sign their guest-books! Thanks! Just little hellos are nice! Thank-you and have a YIPPEE DAY!

Thursday, April 29, 2004 6:11 PM CDT

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~NEW PHOTOS~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

YAHOOO!!!!!!!! Today was Aizees last day of Vincristine! She gets her port out May 27th!!!!!! YAYAYAYAYYA!
She gets her 6mp and her dex until May 2nd, then out the door it goes!
We found out what that rash is. Wild~ It is an allergic reaction to her SEPTRA! I mean, she has taken it since day one of DX. To NOW get a reaction to it? Hahahha, I have to laugh. I mean, here she is almost completely finished, I guess reality has to get one last dig at us. The next 6 months she is going to be on DAPSONE.
She will get it everyday rather than twice a week. I am not complaining at all. Other than the new list of potential side effects to worry about. Now we know what it is! And, I mean, heck, she is one of the lucky ones. I know this and am VERY GRATEFUL! So, a little silly thing like the new med stuff is just somthing I found just that.
The picture above is Aizee getting her last bit of Vinc.
Then a lot of the great nurses came in and sang to her. She got a beautiful Teddy Bear from Build-A-Bear, a cozy blanket and a neat sign that says " Happy Last Therapy To YOU!"
I will tell more later. Right now the kids want to go swimming.
But first, I saw Pam, Jerms mom. Go visit his page okay? (JTROWE) He is on the 4th floor recovering from his BMT. He was sleeping when I went to visit. She is a very VERY nice and sweet person! Just starting to get a little anxious to get out....go figure eh? I would have been a bit antsy from the first day! :) I am in awe of these people who go through so much!
Oh, and then we took the kids to Joes for a treat. For this day is one that marks the end to a long road.
I am happy and I am a bit sad as well. For all of those who did not make their end here on Earth. I know that we are lucky, I just wish all of the kids could be.
I am not sure how to word what I am feeling, so, I'll stop there.
Thank-you for visiting us. Please sign the Guest-book!
If you get a chance, please go visit other kids! And tell them hi as well! Thank-you and HAVE A YIPPEE DAY!

Monday, April 26, 2004 10:39 AM CDT

~~~NEW PHOTOS~~~
Hi Everybody!
See the kids little garden?
We need to get our outside faucet fixed. Apparently there is a break in the pipe at the shut-off. A few weeks ago, prior to the snow, I had hooked up the kids whale-spinny-bubble sprinkler thing. That night, Rob discoverd our basement had been flooded. I figured it was due to the hose being on wrong. It was spraying a bit at the connection. So, yesterday, I redid it. I went to check the basement and water is just pouring down the wall! YIKES. It stopped as soon as I turned off the water. Fun times.....
I got to refill those tiny watering cans a few hundred times. They love to water their garden though.
There are things growing in it. Not quite sure what yet. Weeds or actual plants!
We now have a horse in our field. I'll take a picture of her for next up-date. A pregnant horse at that! :)
Our neighbor has several horses and he asked if he could put her on our side of the fence to keep her safe. Today, I am going to find out her name and if I can let the girls feed her carrots and apples! He works for his dad, who runs the FULL service gas station here. I am so spoiled by that gas station. Just open the window, hand them the money and they do the windows, check the oil, etc while you wait. :)
So, Aizee still has this awful red, bumpy rash. No pee in the cup. We went to the park and they played and played. At home, still no pee. The next day, Saturday, still she has not peed! And the rash is so much worse. Her entire body is covered. We took her to Primaries. Her counts are fine. ALl they could say it was is a virul rash. She checked out fine. Just looks pretty awful! I was told going swimming should not be a problem though. The sun however seems to make it worse. Though she is covered with a few inches of sunscreen. And it is not the sunscreen irritating it either. Who knows. I hope it does not interfere with her May 2 end date!
In other news.....My mothers brother is completely comatose. Virtually brain dead. However, they did find a tiny spark of activity in the brain stem. The family is getting a second opinion on what is going on today. Then go for there. I so hope that there is somthing that can be done. Uncle Buck is a great guy. My mom had been planning a road trip for a bit for us to go back to Kansas to visit her family.
Well, that is it for now.
Thank-you for visiting us. Please sign the Guest-book! I read the entries to Aizee every morning! It does take the book a minute or two to load up just so you know. Thanks!
If you do get a chance, please visit other kids and sign their books as well! Everyone enjoys a visitor. Be that child done with treatment, almost done with treatment, in the hospital or the families of Angels.
Have a Yippee day.

Friday, April 23, 2004 9:34 AM CDT

Hi Out There!
So, Jeremy is doing well after his BMT. Devin is now home. And a lot of other stuff with a ton of kids!
Don't forget to visit Make-A-Child-Smile! 3 new kids this month!

Okay, a few mornings ago, the girls brought me breakfast in bed. It was so CUTE!!!!! Then they helped me eat it! hahahah. That's okay. It was panckakes. I am not a huge pancake lover. I did not mind sharing. Now,if it had been bacon, that would have been an issue!:b
Yesterday morning, Aizee came in and boy, her face, and her whole body is covered in a rash.
A nice red, pimply rash.
No fever and she is in great spirits!
I asked my mom the baby-sit Remy and Brianna. My mom always loves to do that!
Take Aizee to the pediatrician. Kathy thinks it is virul. I now have a pee cup to attempt to use for Aizee. To take in a sample today. This should be fun!
OH!!! Did I ever tell all of you she is Potty-trained? For almost a month now! YAYA!
She looks awful and feels great. Who knows.
My moms brother is in ICU. Massive heart-attack. She called last night to tell me that they are not sure if there is any brain damage. His heart had stopped. She flew out there this morning. It is her little brother. 3 years and 3 months younger than she is.
That sucks.
I have to go. The natives are getting antsy.
Time to do some grocery shopping as well!
Oh, and need new back brakes for the van. Blegh.
At least the sun is out today! And for now the snow is gone!
Thank-you for visiting us. Please sign the guest-book!
Please go visit other children as well. And sign their gust-books! Thanks! I'll add an official link to MACS later!
Off to conquer the Universe now!
Have a YIPPEE DAY!

Oh, and I guess I have been under a rock. When did they change the backs of Nickles?

Tuesday, April 20, 2004 10:14 AM CDT

HI OU THERE!
I have to tell you how brave my 5 year-old is. She went off the 25foot high dive. She really wanted to, so I was like, I can't let my fears stop her. If she is not afraid, why should I give her cause to be right?
She did it over and over! She had to wear her water wings rather than her body vest. Even then, one or both would fly off with impact. I was always right there to help her swim to the edge. Then, a life-guard said she can't jump with those on either. So, I was really nervous. Because, though Brianna has been in the water since she was 2 months old, this was the first time going off a high dive, especially without some type of flotation device!
She did it though. I was all set to dive down and get her, but she popped to the surface like a little cork! And she doggie paddled to the edge! :)
She is going to get swimming lessons. That has been the plan for awile. Just for her age, the next session of lessons do not start until June.
Aizee wanted to do it as well. She got very mad when I told her no. Her, without any saftey devices, I am not sure if she accomplished in the water enough to get herself back to the surface. She was mad at me. Maybe, after she has had her swimming lessons, then I'll let her go off the low-dive.
All of this water stuff is helping me get over my hydrophobia. I can swim, just have too much imagination!
I took Remy down the 3 story twisty slide. She loves it! That is what the girls had done for days! Go up three flights of stairs and go down that slide over and over. I was going with Aizee. But she started to do it on her own and was SO proud of herself!
Remy now loves it. So, I am getting my legs worked out. That is a lot of steps!
It is cold and icky, again.
We had nice weather on Saturday. Then it snowed Sunday. Good thing I had not packed the snow gear. Then, by that afternoon, it was all gone. Then it snowed yesterday. Gone again. Now more snow. Blah.
Our garden seems to be making it though. I had to go out and steal some dirt for a plant I am trying to save. There are all sorts of green sprouts. Hehehe, who knows what it is though.
Aizee woke-up screaming this morning. And wanted to be carried downstairs so she can sleep on her little lounge chair.
Remy slept almost the entire night through! YAY!
Anyway, next week is Aizees Last Vincristine!!!!! YAY! April 29th! Then schedual a port removal! I was going to wait, but my folks are going on a little vacation. I would like my mom to babysit Aizee as she recuperates and so the other two can continue on with the swimming. Just so it is all over and done with!
Thanks for visiting us! Please go visit other kids! Kodys folks are having some insurance issues. So, please go visit them!
A few others have things going on as well! If you visit the guest-book, please look for a link to Lakotas page. I need to add it up top as well!
Please sign the book while you are there! Thanks!
If you can, please visit other kids and sign thier books! Everyone loves visitors!
Have a Yippee Day!

Saturday, April 17, 2004 10:28 AM CDT

~~~NEW PHOTOS~~~~
Hi out there!
So, lets see....lots of swimming. Except yesterday. The day before, the kids were being stinkers and got into trouble. So, Rob and I took advantage of their misbehavior. I asked my folks to baby-sit so he and I could go work out. I'll get back into shape. Slowly but surely! And then he once again kicked my butt at Foose ball. We play that everytime after we are done. Should play it before. That way, my tizzy at being creamed can get worked out on the weights!
Aizee is doing great! She looks great and is one silly kid! She talks and talks! And the things she says are just priceless!
Brianna and she also just LOVE the White Rabbit song by Jefferson Aeroplane. They bang on thier little dino piano and belt out "FEED YOUR HEAD!" hehehe.
I need to record it! It is hysterical:)
One day, awhile back, while on our walk to the post-office, a nice elderly lady gave them each a package of seeds. One of Snap peas and one of Green beans. Rob built a garden. Then, it snowed. Finally, yesterday, it was nice enough to plant them.
3 little kids and seeds. And dirt. I am so curious as to how this garden is going to look! HEHEHEHEHE! They had fun. That is all that matters.
It has been way too cold and rainy to take walks lately. I get a lot of house work done though! Other than Remy always being mad! I have no idea what is wrong. Just being two I guess! The main time she is happy is at 5a.m. when she decides it is time to get up and everyone else as well. After going to bed by 7 or so and then proceeding to wake-up at 11 and not going back to sleep until 1a.m. Ya, it makes mommy awake and happy at 5a.m. SURE!
Speaking of which, the said child is at me yelling for somthing. Who knows what! My entire life feels like a big scavanger hunt!
If you can, go visit Julianna. She has phnemonia. I have no idea how to properly spell that. And don't feel like looking it up at the moment. Devin has low counts. Sammi is having some eye problems. And Kendrie has a link to a little boy who has relapsed. Along with the Erma Bombeck type of fun to read!
Other than that....I can't type coherently right now. What with sleep deprivation, a coffee buzz and a mad kid at my ankles!
Thanks for visiting us! Please sign the guest-book! Please visit other kids when you can and please Sign their guest-books as well!
Have a YIPPEE DAY!

Thursday, April 15, 2004 10:06 AM CDT

Hi there! I'll try to up-date the photos in a bit. I have a Remy critter hanging onto me. I think she is trying to make up for all the times Aizee could not throw fits and be a pre-two-year-old emotional wreck. Along with her own little fits. Boy, she is one dramatic fit thrower. I have never seen anything like her antics before! Oh, and she loves shoes. She will be naked except for shoes. She even has just has to sleep in her sandles. Odd kid....nothing like me at all!


~~~NEW PHOTOS NOW~~~~
Oh, and I broke my pinky. due to a jig I danced to NOT step on a cat. I slammed my hand into a cupboard. OUCH. So, my typing is way worse than usual. enjoy!:p
Today, it is cold and wet. GOOD! This way I can actually catch-up on chores around here!
We go swimming every evening. The plan had been for Rob and I to trade-off nights to go work out. Taking the girls swimming in the morning. The thing is, the hours at the center are weird. All of the life-guards are highschoolers. So, while school is in session, the place is closed. The hours are 5a.m to 9a.m. then from noon to one. Then 5p.m. to 9p.m. Trying to get everyone up and organized that early in the am is not happening! So, eventually, Rob and I will trade mornings. Hehehe, just got to actually get up and DO it. Swimming in the evenings actually works out too! We pick Rob up from work at 6:30 and go there. We play and swim until about 8:20 or so. I pack the jammies. That is what they change into when they are done. Home, teeth brushing, story and bed. AND, they go right to sleep! Too tired to argue and be stinkers! Works for me! :)
Easter was GREAT! These kids got SO much stuff! I made them each a fun basket. With a stuffed bunny, bunny pen and paper. Bunny slinkies and bunny sqirter toys. Bendy bunnies and feathery snap bracelets. With just a little candy! Good thing I was skimpy in the candy. Each got a solid chocolate rabbit. Everyone has to have one right?
oh, Saturday, we went to the Make-A-Wish Easter Egg hunt. IT was fun. Except the wind. That part sucked. It was COLD!
There was face painting, clowns with balloons, lots of games, etc.
The Egg hunts were fun. Rob took Brianna to her age area. She held her own against much larger kids. She had a huge basket full. My mom went with Aizee. Aizee just grabbed all blue eggs. And a lot too! :)
Remy took a bit to figure out what to do. THen she got into it. The ONLY thing that really made me mad was this one mother. She literally took an egg out of Remys hand and put it in her daughters basket. This child had a HUGE basket too. And it was over flowing. I was too shocked to immedietly(sp?) react. Then, I was like, whatever....still thought that was obnoxious.
Lots of pizza and cookies to be had. Brianna got the largest green balloon imaginable. It was almost as large as she is!
Hehehe, on the way home, driving up Immigration Canyon, the bumper on our van finally fell off. So, we left it on the side of the curve. My folks retrieved it later.
Rob had to work on Easter, so I drove the girls to the farm. About an hour and a half trip each way. IT was fun! They had a blast. Ran around with Franchesca and another girl. Hanging out with Robs family. I like it there. It is pleasent. The goodies to be had were very excellent as always!
Susan packed a great care package for Rob when it was time to go. The girls got even more candy. I got a lovely Sunflower plant! I love happy flowers!
Got home and Rob was already there. AND, some of the kids at the school he works at made the girls another Easter basket. Crammed full of toys, necklaces and MORE candy!
HOLY! :) I can now open a candy store! Anyone want some candy?
My folks too us all to see Home On the Range on Tuesday. It was fun. And what a weird Disney Movie. NO ONE died! WOW! It was a cute movie. Aizee and Brianna sat and ate their goodies and were very good. Remy was being a stinker. She fianlly chilled out. Hehehe, there was another kid making more noise than she. So, that was good! Hate to be the one with the noisiest kid!
Then we went to The Myan. Kids eat free on Tuesdays. There are cliff-divers and electronic animal stuff with shows and things. The kids enjoyed it.
Got home, went swimming. Yesterday, I had to go to court for somthing that occured like in 2001. Blah, court-rooms have such sad tales there.
That was my entire day. Rob was at my folks with the girls. I got back in time to get the kids home, feed them dinner and go swimming.
And, here I am now telling you about it!
WIth a twerp called Remy on my lap who keeps blocking my view and laughing about it!
I have found quite a few kids almost done with treatment and those who are done. I will have to add the QOL quilt Index #6 later. Sort of difficult to do with a kiddo on my lap!
JTROWE is getting a BMT. SO, please go visit his page.
Other than that...the new kids I have been meeting, I have yet to add links for. And I need to go catch up with everyone else!
I'll get to revamping everything eventually.
Thanks for visiting us! Please sign the guest-book!
Please go visit others when you can! ANd sign their books! Thank-you and
HAVE A YIPPEE DAY!:)

Friday, April 9, 2004 11:01 PM CDT

!~~~~~~!!NEW PHOTOS!!~~~~~~~!

My folks bought the girls some fun dresses and they looked SO cute in them!



Hello out there! First...let me apologize for my lack of visits to other caringbridge pages. I visit about 3 a day recently vs. the 15 or so I got to. Reading further, it will be explained. Once things get settled a bit...I hope to be able to get back to at least 12 a day!
The picture above is of the girls in their little swim suits. I hope to get a better one at another time.
See, for my and Robs Christmas gift, my folks got us a membership to the Fitness, Aquatic center here. It has an indoor water park for kids. Along with a regular pool. A work-out area...climbing mountain. Etc. The list this place has to offer is huge!
BUT, the pool area is most awsome. That is where we have been every morning for about 2 hours. Then at night, I am pooped. It is because all 5 of us go before Rob goes to work. NOway am I taking 3 wild kids alone in there! :)
My mom got them flotation vests. They work awsome! There is a 3 story high slide. I was so proud of Aizee.
See, Brianna will jst go to somthing she wants to do and just does it. Aizee is a bit more nervous. Another wonder thing-cancer related or her anyway?
Yesterday, after going up those stairs with her about 30 times, I told her no more. She went up anyway and then would not come down. Rob went. She finally went down by herself and she was so estatic! The confidence she gained by that one thing was wonderful!
That basicall was that. That is all she did. And boy, that is all she talks about now!
Brianna is here there and everywhere. I had her in water things since she was about 2 months old!
Aizee too. Just minus the year and a half with a pic and a broviak. She is making up for lost time!
The only time I can forsee her missing any water time is when we have the port removed. Other than that she is set to go!
Remy is funny in the water. She is like a kuola(sp?) bear. She hangs on our necks. The way the kiddie pools are set up, there are currents that pull you around. Through a loop, to the waterfall, etc. It is hard to explain. But it is fun! The bottom is all rubber too! Makes it nice on parents knees. heheheh, all the folks do squats through the little pool. To stay in the water and on kid level!
It gradually shallows out towards the edge. So, tiny tikes can walk in to their comfort level. There is a water playground with knobs and nozzels, wheels and levers. All controling different water stuff. It is most wonderful and the girls just love it!
They have no fear. Except Remy. I think it could be due a bit to the fact that she never got to play in a pool until she is almost 2. The other two were in pools before they were even a year old. And other water play as well. Remy was born in the middle of all that cancer mess.
Amazing that it is almost over. I am so thrilled for us! You have no idea. I also yearn for that to be the case for all of us in the land of the icky cancer.
Aizee statement yesterday as we were going down the slide for the 26th time (?) " This is Awmazing! "
OH! And no more NG!!!!! It slipped out one night and I thought hell with it. It stays out. Especially....get this...she drinks her pediasure! WOW!

Thank-you for visiting us. Please sign her guest-book. Please, please, despite the fact I have not visited other kids, please, if you can visit them. Thanks! Don't forget the guest-books!
Have a Yippee day! :)

Sunday, April 4, 2004 10:34 AM CDT

~~~~~NEW PHOTOS~~~~~~~

Hello out there! Thank-you for visiting us today!
Aizee slept almost the entire day away Friday. Go figure. She looked awful as well. But, no fever and she seemed cheerful. So, we took it easy!
She even DRANK a can of pediasure. If I can get her to do that every night, then maybe I can take that tube out earlier than May 2nd!
Hehehhe, so yesterday.....getting ready for Grandma's house.
She had bought all three girls flip-flops. We have a shoe rack. So, we are gettng shoes on everyone and Aizees flip-flops are gone.
We looked everywhere. I mean, EVERYWHERE!!!!
After looking in the usual places, we started to think that Remy put themin a cupboard, or another kid put them in a drawer or somthing. We literally ripped the house apart looking for these blue-flip-flops. It got to the pooint that is was a case of just finding them to FIND them than Aizee even caring anymore. Rob and I were on a mission to find these shoes. So, after he is a half hour late for work and we gave up, Viola....Aizee comes up wearing them.
I guess she had hidden them behind a little box she had put on the Glass hutch. The ONE place we did not look.
GRRRRR! But, well, one mystery solved. It is just silly how we were like WHERE ARE THOSE SHOES!!!!

Off to grandma's. Played in the hot tub. Gunar came over to play as well. They had fun. Gunar does 'not do tea parties'. That was funny!
Just an easy day of playing.
Today they are big grumps. The daylight savings thing has thrown their little schedual off a bit. Mine too.
That's it for now!
I need to start getting back into reading other kids pages. I have been slacking. My apologies! Tonight, that is my plan!
I do know that Jtrowe is going in for a BMT soon!
Other than that, I am cluless. SO, please go visit other kids and sign the Guest-books when you have a chance!
Thank-you for visiting us! Please sign Aizees book!
Just note some books take longer than others to come up!
Have A YIPPEE DAY!

Friday, April 2, 2004 10:56 AM CST

Hello out there!
So, everyone got up WAY early yesterday. AIzee did very well with not eating. The only time she got really upset with me was when she went to get her chocolate milk out of the fridge and I had to take it from her. I know I had to, but still doesn't keep me from feeling like crap. She was so upset.
OH, and she potty trained! YAYAYAYAYAYAYA!
I mean, I still have to remind her to go pee on the potty every 30 minutes...but she can go the entire night and wake-up dry! Amazing what Dora and Power Puff Panties can do!
Now Remy wants panties. She wears them over her diaper. It is cute.
Decided to just take the other two my moms house and take AIzee to the hospital to hang-out. That way I wouldn't have to keep trying to keep food from her. At my moms,t here is a lot of snacks and Aizee likes having 'chokit miwlk at gwama's howse".
We parked on top of the parking garage and she got to look out the windows up there a bit. Then off to the hospital.
Rob works for a private school. They do recycling. When the kids there learned that poptaps from cans can help the Ronald Mcdonald house make money, they always pop them off for us. I always have a HUGE bag to take when I go to clinic. Since we had about 2 hours to kill, I figured that I would take them to Len myself. On the third floor, or so I thought. Heh, Aizee has not been admitted for a year. I did not know that ICS is now on the 4th floor!
That was a little adventure. Then, to clinic, vitals etc.
She colored. I watch Tom and Jerry ( the oldies are great!)
Finally got a room. She checked out great!
AND>>>>>Helen the Nutritionist came in!
May 2nd, everything stops! Including the fact I can YANK THAT NG OUT!!!!!!!! YAHOO!!!!!!!
Can't wait!
Got into the proceedure room and filmed all of it. I cried actually. I mean, over 2 years of this and it is almost over! April 29th is her last VINC. Then May 2nd, other than 6 months of septra after that, she will be DONE!!!
All that will need to be done is surgery to get the port out. And her 6 week check-ups.
She hates septra. There is a grape flavored one, but it seems to be only for the ICS floor. I am going to see if I can get it for her for that 6 months.
She was so out of it. I am so happy I will never have to see her so out of her mind again! She was talking in slow motion and everything.
She eventually came back to her head and got her much desired Chocolate milk. Thank-=you Sheri!
And she chose a Hello-Kitty toy set from the Treasure Box!
Boy and she also found a cap to the Ketemine. And that was the Kitty's baby. Sheri accidentally threw it away and I know that Aizee would be so upset, so, yes, being the over indulgent mom that I am, I donned gloves and found it.
I could add more details here, but Remy loves to get upset when I turn on the computer. And Rob is needing to get to work. It is raining today, so he would like a ride.
Real quick...got to the van after walking past the Giant Mike statue in the lobby. Got into the car where she promptly passed out. Got to my moms and found a little party waiting for her. Ballons and everything. Brianna and Remy had made a cake for AIzee. My mom said it was quite the cooking time too! Chocolate everywhere. I bet!
And the sprinkles and sugar. Sugar shock I tell you!
Lots of Mint Icecream too!
It was cute. Care Bear Plates, cups and Napkins!
We had to leave because my mom was expecting her carpenter friend to make estiamtes on their green house...for improvements. Well, this is sad too......
right when we were leaving, he called my mom to tell her his dad was in a bad accident in Tooele.
(when I was getting Aizee into the van, I saw the University Life Flight taking off)
Well, apparently both his parents got killed instantly when they hit the side of a semi, their truck going under and shearing off the top half.
Just goes to show how weird life works.

Today Aizee is doing great! Another accident free night! I will put new photos on later!
Thanks for visiting us. Please sign the guest-book! Thanks!
And if you get a chance, please go visit other kids as well! All of us do enjoy visitors!
Thanks!
Have a YIPPEE DAY!



OH, and Rob and I went and say The Dawn Of the Dead on Wednsday. My folks treat. If you like Zombie movies, you'll find this one a good watch. :)

Tuesday, March 30, 2004 10:04 AM CST

IN TWO DAYS!!!!!! AIZEE WILL GET HER LAST LP!!!! (it better be the last!!)

I am nervous and EXCITED AT THE SAME TIME! What an odd mix. Getting the video camera all ready to film it.
An Lumbar puncture is akin to getting an Epidural. Just a bit more intense. Makes my spine cringe. I hate that she gets doped out of her mind, but, I if it keeps her from hurting, got to do what needs to be done!


Okay, so, let me try and tell some adventures. If it is disjointed and all that, my apologies in advance.
We got the girls new shoes. That is always fun. Who knew a 20month old could be SO opinionated? About shoes?
Every shoe Rob tried she would just stand and scream. Until she spotted these silver and pink Laser lights. The box said 6, and she was VERY happy when she got them on. Was not until after we were at the park that I realized the actual shoes were 7's. Just one and a half sizes too large. They were also the last pair the store had. However, she loves them and does well running around in them. Funny though. This little twerp knows what she wants and she's going to get it! Even when it comes to the books she wants us to read to her!
Aizee picked out some pink velvety tenee boot things. With flower and butterflys on the side. They light up too. She went right over and greabbed them. That was the last pair of those as well. Thank goodness they were her size!
She loves those little boot things! She sashays in them. Funny!
Brianna picked out a pair of silver and blue NO boundries tennis shoes. She is pretty zippy in them!
We have gone to the park several times. Always fun! Daddy went with us on his day off. They always love that. That was the shoe day as well.
The one thing that gets me is when people look at Aizee weird because she has an NG tube on her face. Kids always ask " What is that stuck to her face?" And I tell them she doesn't like to eat, so that feeds her. The kids go " EEEWWWW GROSSS!!' And the parent asks me why she doesn't like to eat? That isn't it mean to do that? I explain she has ALL which is cancer and the chemo makes food not taste good and gives her lack of appetite. So, the NG helps keep her fed. Then, it is like she has some contagion. I heard one mom cautioning her daughter to stay away from Aizee because she had cancer. Cancer is not contagious. I swear, some people.
Also, this is in Park City and people are a bit ruder and a bit more ignorant there than most places.
I just ignore them, and it seems that Aizee does as well.
They enjoy the park and I don't let stuff like that ruin it for us.
We have been taking walks every day, except last week when we suddenly got a half foot of snow. That was no fun. One morning,they went out in snowsuits and played. That afternoon, all the snow was gone!
The times we have gone to visit my folks, they have played in the hot tub. They love that!
Oh, and I saw The Missing on Saturday. That is one intense film. It was good though!
I also bought them their Easter Stuff. I decided to make them their own baskets this year rather than buying the pre done deals. I never have done that before. And deciding what to get for each to fill it was hard. So much fun stuff out there! The only thing I still need to get is 3 chocolate bunnies. NO Easter is complete with out those.
New shoes, lots of park and yard play. Walks and just fun stuff like that.
2 days until her last LP!!! It is at 12:30. So, that is going to be a tricky thing. Since she can't eat for 8 hours. She never wants to eat, but just watch, on that day she is going to want to!

OH, And MACS! They are so AWSOME!
I am still reeling in amazement at the generosity of people out there. THANK-YOU!!!!!!!!

Cute Aizee moments.
Hiding her face in her hands and saying "Where are me?" and then going Peek-a-BOO! :)
ANd talking on a play phone. "Me here, me fine. How you?" etc, walking around talking like that.
She also is great at entertaining herself. There are times she loves going off alone. I will later go and check on her to find her totally absorbed in some little activity chatting away to her dollies, or whatever she is doing. Like a little song sung to herself while doodling. She has loved Pen and paper since the start of this. Any time she would get freaked by some proceedure or upset by having to be bed bound, just hand her a pen and some paper and she was fine. Now she hums or chatters while doing it.
She has grown so much! We all have. This family has made it far through all of this. I am still amazed it is almost over. WOW!!!!!!!!
Other than that little tiny niggle of relapse fear, I am so excited!
Okay, I can keep going on and on!
So, I'll stop right there!
Thank-you for visiting us! Please sign the Guest-book!
Please go visit other children as well! All of us love visitors. Just note some books take a bit to load up.
Have a YIPPEE DAY! :)

Sunday, March 28, 2004 11:46 PM CST

I am sure everyone knows by now that Maxie has become an Angel.
Please visit his page MAXIE

I was so crushed to have read about what happend last night. I am still bothered.

Everything is going fine here. I'll tell you all more about it later.

Hug your kids tight. Life is quick. You never know what you have now will be there for long. SO,enjoy it to it's fullest!

Sunday, March 21, 2004 9:46 AM CST

Hello out there. How is everyone? ~NEW PHOTOS~
If you can, please stop by Maxies page. His family has an important request for a video camera. So, if there is anything anyone can do to help. Make it fast though,thanks.
Jtrowe is going in for a bone marrow transplant.
And much more is happening out there. If you get the time, please go visit and sign the guest-books! Just note that some take a bit to load-up!

Well, lets see here...okay, on Friday, I took the girls to the park again. I fed them lunch first so then they could have longer to play. It was a nice slushy mess at the playground. They enjoyed it though. There were a few more kids to play with. However, somtimes the freaking out of other parents makes it tedious, so eventually we left. But, well, they had about 3 hours of play under their belts. Got home and right to our walk to the post office. When Rob is not home, Aizee and Brianna take turns walking. One will walk there and then the other one will walk home. It's nice and fun for all of us. Then lots of play in the yard.
Yesterday Brianna got her hair-cut. It was fun to watch her. I had asked her when she got all settled into the chiar if she wanted me to stay there or go sit. She said " Mommy, Why don't you go sit down? I'll be fine." Well okay then. I could hear her little smurfette voice chatting away with the guy doing her hair. She even managed to scam a bag of skittles off of him!
Aizee was a bit upset. She wanted a haircut as well. Just, well, poor thing, she hardly has any hair. Let alone any to cut off.
Oh, and there is a fantastic puddle in front of my parents driveway. IT is like thigh(kid thigh that is) deep.
Remy had a ball practically swimming in it. And it worked out for her too. She hated the outfitt Rob and I put on her. She hates fluffy outfits.
It was a fun day. The girls also got to play in the hottub. I got Remy out earlier than her sisters and was she ever MAD!!!!!! I know next time to let her stay in as long as the other two!
Oh, and let me explain how I am going to film Aizees last LP. In PCMC, in the oncology clinic, there is a proceedure room. Or there is RTU. Rapid Treatment Unit. Which is like a mini OR.
I preffer the clinic room because I am welcome to stay in there. It can make you crindge though. To see a lumbar puncture in action. But, well, incase she is curious when she is older, I want to be able to show her what she endured. I already asked if I could bring in my camera. And was givent he go ahead. So I can film her loopy self. The last time I will ever see her so out of her mind on Ketamine and verset. PCP basically.
And for those who now let their kids play in the mud? The pleasure is all mine! :)
Thanks for visiting us!
OH, and there is a new up-date on The Twins page. Madeline and Hannah.
Please sighn the guest-book! Thanks!
Have a YIPPEE DAY!

Thursday, March 18, 2004 10:12 PM CST

Hello out there.
Today was a fun day. So was yesterday. Hehehehe, Rob was off and it was big time " Daddy! Chase me! " Daddy this daddy that! :) Walking to the post office is more entertaining when Rob is around.
The funniest moment though, was when we crashed the wagon and all of us ended up in the mud!
Most of the snow is melted in our yard. AIzee wanted a wagon ride. I oblige. Brianna is on the swings and Remy is in the playhouse. Then, Aizee tells me I want a ride. So, I get into this wagon just to humore her. She tries with all her little might to pull the wagon. Then calls " Daddy! Me give Mommy ride! Help me pweese?" Who could turn that down? Rob is pulling me around the yard and Aizee is 'helping' by pushing the back. Then Remy decides she wants in. Okay. She is on one seat and I am on the other. Then, Brianna wants to ride. I go to get out and Aizee says no! So, I have Brianna on my lap. ( I must take a photo of this wagon just so you get perspective)
So, the first silly is when we go down the hill again. Aizee loses her footing and drags behind the wagon. She won't let go! Rob stops right away and Aizee gets up and has mud drag marks from chest to knees and she is laughing! We did too. Then, she wants in the wagon!!!! Remy won't give up her seat to sit on her sisters lap. And Aizee tells me she wants on my lap. So, I pile her and Brianna on me. Heck, what could happen?
So, Rob pulls us around the yard and here we go down the hill again. The front wheel hits a rut and there we all go into the mud. It was hysterical!!!!
Where is a video camera filming when you need it?
Today, I have this bright idea of taking the girls to Trailside park. Forgetting that it is in one of those odd areas of Park City where snow takes longer to melt.
HEHEHEH, okay, well, at least the play ground and surrounding area was mostly melted. They had a BLAST!!!!!!
It was nice to get out and play. Without feeling like that Tire Guy. Then, another mom and her daughter showed up and they all had a ball.
Got home, lunch, attempted resttime (ya right! fat chance) then walk to the post office! I mean, I am still floored by people in this world and their wonderful generosity! Thoughtful cards and fun stickers and things! THANK-YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Home, back to the yard. I actually got the girls to bed before 7!!!!!
Other than Aizee being so hyper! That is somthing I am still adjusting to. I am so HAPPY she is so active, but man, there is active then there is SUPER active. Like, she used to be dial-up and then got cranked on dsl! :b
Her final lp is coming up. April 1st! I am going to film it. Now, that is going to be one heck of a day. The earliest appointment they had was 12:30. Ya right. I mean, she does not really eat, but imagine preventing snacking all day! I plan on taking Remy and Brianna to my moms. I just got to figure out how to distract Aizee from food. Maybe she and I will leave earlier than need be and just go to a park.
But, I am so thrilled this is her last one. But, I am also very nervous. But I know everything will be fine!
Thank-you for visiting us. Please sign the Guest-book! Thanks. And, if you could take an extra moment or 5 or so, to visit other children, and sign their books too!
Thank-you.
Just note that some Guest-Books take longer than others to load up.
Have a YIPPEE day!

Wednesday, March 17, 2004 11:15 PM CST

I'll tell about todays adventures another day.
I just read that Michelle became an angel last night.
Maxie has about two months left.
And there is no other news for JakeGriffin and Michael
Cierra
Another angel. Man, too many things going on to list them all.

If you can, please go and give them your support.
thanks.



Mad World Lyrics

All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places, worn out faces
Bright and early for their daily races
Going nowhere, going nowhere
Their tears are filling up their glasses
No expression, no expression
Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow
No tomorrow, no tomorrow

And I find it kinda funny
I find it kinda sad
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you
I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It's a very, very mad world mad world

Children waiting for the day they feel good
Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday
Made to feel the way that every child should
Sit and listen, sit and listen
Went to school and I was very nervous
No one knew me, no one knew me
Hello teacher tell me what's my lesson
Look right through me, look right through me

And I find it kinda funny
I find it kinda sad
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you
I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It's a very, very mad world ... world
Enlarge your world
Mad world

Sunday, March 14, 2004 9:38 AM CST

~~~NEW PHOTOS~~~~
UPDATE, Maxie and Michelle need prayers.

FIRST>>> PLEASE GO AND LEAVE PRAYERS AT THESE TWO PLACES>>>
Both have brain tumores and close to earning their Angel Wings.:(
Jake There is a lovely song there. The words will grab you.
Michael


The folks at Caringbridge Help center are great!!!!



Hello out there. Well, Aizee dropped two and a half pounds. I had to put her NG back in. 21/2 pounds does not sound like a lot, but for someone her size, it is. She handles getting it in better than I handle putting it in.
It has been beautiful weather here. We have taken a few walks. Flat tire be damned! We get some odd looks, probably because of the flat tire. I don't care! Aizee is the one who is walking and Brianna is riding! WOW!! Aizee with energy! I wish she had this much energy when we went on her wish trip!
Oh, and the mud puddles! We live in a rural area. We have a very VERY lond driveway. Gravel. Makes for great mudpuddles! Who am I to deny my kids the joy of mudpuddle play? I should remember my little camera to take shots of them in them! It is fun! Then, when everyone is soaked, we go right in, crank-up the heat, I strip them down and stick them in the tub! Hahahha, good thing they don't mind baths. Since they are now geetting 2 quick ones and one long one a day now! I don't mind the laundry either. Even if I was all anal saying NO to the puddles, I'd still have laundry. So, I guess may as well have the creation of dirty clothes be fun.
My mom gets back home tonight. And she wants to see the girls first thing tommorow. They are excited! Though Grandpa has taken good care of us while she was gone. He likes to stop by with lots of goodies. Now we have a freezer stocked with Pizza and Icecream...a cupboard full of candy and cookies, a fridge full of soda pop. And a few salads for me.:) Oh, and he got himself a new scanner/printer/fax gizmo. So, since our printer literally shot parts out one night, he gave me his old set up! Thanks DAD!
Well, please Sign the guest-book! Thanks! Please visit other kids when you can! Tell them HI as well!
Thank-you MACS! Wow, really!
Have a YIPPEE DAY!

Friday, March 12, 2004 9:26 AM CST

WAH! Still can't get the cursor to work here! Thank-you E.J. For your efforts! Some reason, it just won't work. Sigh.... I'll figure it out eventually. :)
Oh, and if you have yet to meet E.j. and see the many things she has going on on her page, it is linked above!

Okay, so, for now, Aizee does not need an NG. Unless she loses a significant amount of weight. Which, we will find out today. People at the grocery store probably think our kids are so spoiled and eat so unhealthy. I want her to eat. So if that means stocking up on a case of Ramens and another of kids cuisines, so be it! I am waiting any day now to be addressed personally at the Wendy's drive-thru.
Sigh, Rob is an executive chef. He creates wonderful things to eat. Everyone eats it except Aizee. She ate some cereal today! WOW! If she does not start to eat more, and ends up with an NG again ~Shudders~ what happens when treatment is over? She can't spend forever with a tube up her nose! It has been lovely without it. I can see her entire beautiful face! NO more tube end opening and making a mess. No more beeps in the night, etc.
I make a nice list for the store, and second guess myself all the way through. What she eats one day she won't another. Typical kid thing. I just don't have the option of saying tough, eat it or starve.
Man, and the shopping expedition was quite wild yesterday!!!!
I had to go to a court thing about somthing that happened a few years ago. I swear, Rob and I are just here and stuff just comes along on us! We don't go looking for trouble, it seeks us out! Nothing serious, just annoying! Talk about seeing sad human behavior.
Anyway, got home around the kids rest time. Then off to the stores. Not sure when the crazy hyper bug got them, but it sure was an adventure. They have these car carts here. Probably every store has them. Two in the front in the 'car' with steering wheels and horns. ANd then the regualer kid seat by the handle. There was Brianna and Aizee just spazzing out! Those cars are hard enough to manuver, but get two little kids in front who are hopping here and there, good thing they don't give reckless cart pushing tickets out! And they decided they needed to Shriek laugh and generally be nuts. I had left them with Rob while I went to the other end of the store to get somthing and I could hear them all the way there and back. IT was quite the adventure. And, the entire time all we heard from Aizee was " Bug mac and cheese! Bug mac and cheese! Bug mac and cheese! "
See, kids cuisines has themes for their meals. We FINALLY get to the frozen food section and LOW AND BEHOLD!! NO bug mac and cheese. I ripped that entire case out to unbury two. PHWEW! Of course I put all the Easter Egg themed ones back. Luckily Remy is still too young to really care what shape her noodles come in. OR then it really could have been a mess.
So, other than being a broken record about eating, nothing else going on here. Everyone is well. It is starting to get warm out. We even took a walk to the post office the other day. It was nice. Rob and Brianna raced along the road. While I pushed the other two in the two wheel stroller. The flat tire is hopeless. We just need to get an entire new tube and tire. We can find the tubes no problem, but the actual tire, hmmm, no luck yet. Makes for a bumpy ride for whichever kid is on that side! :)
I want to thank-everyone once again who takes the time to visit MACS and the kids that are there!
That was two main things on our list to buy yesterday. Thank-you cards and two things for the two other brave children profiled with Aizee.

OH! NEW PHOTOS! It's nice to share more current ones right away!
I have not visited too many kids the last day or so. I am going to see if I have better luck visiting during the girls rest time. 'Cause you don't know it, but I have been up doing this or that the entire time I have been typing this. When I finally get tired of babbling, I finally just stop. I would like to add a bit more attention to reading other kids pages and the messages there.
That's all for now folks! Thank-you for visiting us! Please sign the Guest-book! Thank-you!
Please take a moment and visit another kid or 3 if you can and sign the books. Some Guest-books take a bit to load up. Please wait a bit if you are able!
Have a YIPPEE DAY! :)

Tuesday, March 9, 2004 10:08 AM CST

HEY out there!!!! I see all those neat cursors everyone is getting on there CB pages and I want one. A big purple or blue HOWDY!! Thanks!
So, I feel like I am being so lazy today. Been up since 5a.m. Thank-you Remy.
Now it is about 9. Everyone is still in their jammies and just playing and watching cartoons. I am taking advantage of this and catching up on other kids. WOW, a lot going on out there....but then again, when is there not?
Aizee's ng has been out since last week when she was sick. I am hoping it can stay out. I hate feeling so mean. Threatening her with a tube to get her to eat. I mean, she had cheerios earlierYAYA! Then Ramens. Our meal times are nuts. I try and have it organized, but when you got one kid you need to get to eat, heck, who cares when it is....Those parent magazine articles make me nostalgic. The ones about how to get your kids to be better eaters. No short order cook stuff, and if they don't eat, ohwell, etc. Keep meal times consistent all of that. Ya right. Who would have thought that mealtime and eating could be such a source of stress? I guess because it is a part of normal life. I want things to be normal. Just somthing to be simple. Especially since her end to treatment is coming up. It is sort of like a fire or an earthquake. Totally devestates your life. And you struggle to pick up the pieces. To put it all back together. It takes a long time and a lot of work. Rebuilding the house. But it is never the same again. That security is gone. You stay even more vigilant to fool yourself into thinking you can prevent it from happening again. And part of that is basic rituals. Like meal time. Aizee used to eat. I could cook whatever and she would eat it. And she was fine. So, I guess in my goofy head, I believe that she will be fine, and will remain that way after her end of chemo especially if she eats. Then I will feel a bit more secure about things.
I am probably am not making anysense at all here. It has been nice to see her without that tube stuck to her face.
OH!!!! And Make-A-Child-Smile!!! WOWOWOWOWOWOW!!!!! I must admitt, I thought it was a tiny exaggeration when I was warned about the mail Aizee would be recieving. WOW!
There are such generous people in the world! And I am striving to be one of them. I am going to budget in 10bucks a month to get little things for other kids on MACS. Just the thought that counts! That people go out of their way to buy anything, even a card for someone they don't really know. And, take the time to write a nice note, and also postage to mail it. Just, WOW! I can't properly express my amazement and gratitude. Aizee loves it all. I read her the cards and she talks about the pictures on them. I could go on, however, I want you the visitor to have enough time to also visit other kids after signing the guest-book here. :) and if I went on about MACS, you'd be here for a day or so.
My train of thought is now broken. That not nice ex-landlord actually had the audacity to call here!!!!! I told her we refused to talk to her. If she needs to communicate, go to her attorney and they would contact ours I am sure. Heck, she is the one who started all of this in the first place...now I wonder what's up.
Anyway! Thank-you for visiting us!
Have a YIPPEE DAY! :)

Oh, and check-out the new photos on the photo page. My dad had gotten me a digital doohiky for Christmas and I never bothered to really mess with the picture taking, insta-upload here thing until now. Boy, aren't you lucky?

Saturday, March 6, 2004 8:40 AM CST

Hello out there. Man, for those of you who love the adventures of us, you'll get a chuckle or two from this.
First though, let me tell you I am a bit grumpy at the moment. Rob and I stayed up to catch the season thing of MONK. It was worth it. So, got to bed by midnight. 5:30a.m. RING there is the phone. His boss. Not going to get into it about any of that. Just, well, if this person had actually um, looked around and did other things, there would have been NO reason to call and wake-up the entire household. GROWL. Then they called again. I was mad and Brianna was awake. Which is not good because she is due to her first official by herself birthday party. So, I hope she got enough sleep! She has been to b-day parties, but most of our friends are from Mexico, and when there is any sort of birthday or anything, it is a party for everyone. So, all the moms and dads, and whoever else like 3rd removed cousins and their neighbors, etc. Get the idea? This is very first birthday party that I won't get to hang-out at. Gunar, my parents neighbors little boy. I hope AIzee does not notice she was not invited. Guess I got to get used to that as well. I am used to all 3 of them being together, there will be times when that won't happen. I just hope Brianna doesn't crash and burn from being too tired. IT is a sledding party.
It is a blizzard out, fun and Remy was being a big twerp this am. Fun all around. Aizee is doing great! :)
Okay, clinic day. Everyone in the car and Rob off to work no problems. Going down the canyon, an goofy person in a beemer stops right in the middle of the freeway. When I swerved around them, no cause for their stop could be seen. Get to the college road we take to the hospital and apperently there had been a wreck somewhere up the line. If not for that, we would have made it on time. Get to the hospital and no parking...OF COURSE! There are spots right outside the clinic doors, but visitors love to take those. Nice huh? We end up on the roof. 5 stories up. Right as I am getting the two seater stroller out, an insta storm hits. So, I am trying to get the stroller set up...oh, also, one of the tires has been messed up. I suspect those psycho landlords I mentioned before...once when we stilled lived there, she demanded me to give her our food Tongs so she could pull weeds out of the cactus bed. I told her no. Ever since then, one tire on the stroller has been a bit mangle. Coincidence? Perhaps.
So, here I am in a micro blast blizzard, trying to pump up this tire, get the girls in before everyone is soaked. Get to the elevators, inside down the mile long hallway to the clinic. And it is very crowded. So, add me and 3 girls plus an oversized stroller to a small waiting area. Fun. Especially when Remy thinks she needs to throw a huge fit. YAY! Got Brianna and Aizee into the art stuff they have there. Tried to keep Remy from slamming her head into the floor. You know that type of fit right? The excorcist type. Vitals went fine, but we had to wait for a room. My dad showed up and took Brianna for a walk. They showed back up with candy. GREAT! Just throw some sugar into the mix! A room came open and on the way back, the tire falls off the rim. That was nice. Make it to the room and got the girls settled. Robyn came in and got everyone chocolate milk. That made Remy happy. After that, things went great. Aizee checked out fine. Her counts came back fine. Her vinc went fine. Remy had chilled out. Brianna made a neat lady-bug thing.
Aizee is doing great, I can handle anything...just about. :) She is so grown-up. Remy throwing a fit while there reminded me of how Aizee was at first when all this started. WOWZERS! Almost done! Her next and HER LAST!!!!! LP is on April 1st! I am thinking of filming it just for her to see later when she is older. Sort of a history thing to look back on and be like Whoa....
Like that picture of her in the photo area. Of her on the steroids. I loook at her now and think, man, too weird.
So, that was the fun day we had on Thursday. Yesterday, we played in the snow and basically played all day long. Amazing what a 2 dollar toy at the store-one bag of wild animals and one bag of dinos-they have a lot of fun with those things!
OH! And a new fisher price toy is out! A castle! Saving my pennies for it! Hee, at the clinic the pink girls was gone from the roller coaster. I sure hope they don't think Aizee took it. I bought her her own!
Also, Aizee is on Make-A-Child-Smile along with two really strong girls. Their stories are amazing! What an amazing thing MACS is!
Okay,well, I am done babbling. I had no kids in my ears while I did this and took advantage of it to write you a novel. Hope it made sense.
I have not had a chance to visit other kids. My apologies. I am going to do that tonight! I would now, but I get to drive through the snow to my folks. Which means got to leave a bit earlier than usual.
If you get a chance, please visit who you can and Please sign the guest-books! Thank-you!
Have a YIPPEE day! :)

Wednesday, March 3, 2004 10:49 AM CST

Howdy out there. I can't seem to get anything to work on this page. I have no idea what is going on. I can't get the music to cooperate or the new trick that EJ taught me to make the cursor more interesting. Ohwell.
Okay, boy, let me tell you!!!!
There is a very mean flu out there. The only plus is it is only 24 hours long. But, that 24 hours is a long time enduring this.
Brianna obviously had it Saturday night. Aizee got it. HOwever, hers lasted and lasted and lasted. It was awful. I finally took her to the ER Monday night. Shortly before we left, Rob was getting sick. Great. So, then, in the ER, that magic trick ya'll know. YOur kid seems to feel better. They decided not to take counts. Fine. She is going down on Thursday anyway. She did test positive for strep though. No suprise there. We got home about 3a.m. to find Rob still sick. And Remy was up. I got Aizee to bed right when Remy started to throw-up. EEEEH!
So, getting her cleaned up and to bed. I go to bed tired of course. But, feeling fine. Until that morning. Yesterday sucked! Let me tell you. Everyone but Brianna was very icky feeling. Aizee and Remy and mommy (me) slept the entire day away. Brianna played nick games on the computer and colored with daddy.
Today, we all feel much better. But the laundrey! Ever see that movie called Jonny Dangerously? The scene with his mom and the dirty clothes? That is how I feel at the moment!
So, tommorow another adventure. Taking all three girls to clinic. Remy has not been there for a very long time. I used to be able to confine her to her baby seat. NOw she is up and busy. So, heheh, this will be interesting. Hopefully it will be a quick in and out! My dad offered to take us to lunch afterwards. And, I need to buy a birthday present for Brianna's friend Gunar. She has been invited to his b-day party on Saturday. A sledding party. I am excited for her, but a bit nervouse. They sled down their road. I also feel bad because they neglected to invite Aizee. But, well that is how it goes! I know it will work out just fine.
I also need to go by Jungle Jims to get some new Rubber fish. If I had hoped that Brianna would forget about it, hahhaha, ya right.
Thank-you for visiting us. Please sign the guest-book! Thanks!
I have no idea what is going on with other kids out there. However, between laundrey cycles, I am going to find out. If you get a moment or two, I hope you do the same! Thanks!
Have a Yippee day! :)

Monday, March 1, 2004 10:25 PM CST

Hello out there. Well, remember when I wrote Aizee was doing great? Scratch that. Suddenly, out of the blue tonight, she starts to barf. ~Sorry to those who read this while eating~
Just like that. It was right after bed-jammies time. She was sitting on the couch and asked me to hold her teddy bear. I said sure, why? " Cause I gawna bawf " So, I grab The Bucket which I had dug out recently and there she blows. Crikey, for a child who does not eat, she sure had a lot come out of her.
Brianna was just fine that next morning. Andhas been doing fine since. Remy too. Now Aizee is sick. NO fever. PHWEW!
However, she is barfing a ton more than Brianna. And can't keep down any liquids. So, I called the Onc on call. And her pediatritian. Both always right there when you need one! So, Dr. Terry gave me advice and we shall go from there.
I remember once upon a time not viewing a vomity kid with anything more than worry for the kid and crindging at the clean-up involved. Heck, Aizee has always thrown up. Since birth. At least twice a day. Not just baby spit-up, but the whole deal. It was decided that she liked to over-nurse herself. She gained weight and was fine other than that messy habit.
Now-a-days, simple things like that are viewed like warnings of doom.
I have met fear along the way of life and it decided it liked me. IT is a stalker that won't go away. I hate it and try and shoo it away as much as possiable. Then, when some small event happens, there it is, whispering crap in my ear.
Fear is a weenie. I got enough going on in my life without it meddling with things.
I so wish I could go along with things like I once upon a time did. Like, um, not getting upset about things like this. This regular thing. Kids barf. There are simple things out there like the flu and this is normal. Not some impending disaster.
Okay, I am nuts maybe. Those who know my two nicknames now know how appropriate they are.
I keep reminding myself not to get too upset. Because we don't have it so bad. There are those who have had it so much worse. Precious children who are now no longer here. I know that their families would love to have them back, and no whining about barf. Or those in the hospital would love to barf at home.
Maybe that is one big trailer root from fear. That it could have been us. Still could be. Cancer is one big crap shoot. It almost got her because no one was paying attention. So, maybe I think that if I am overly anal about every small thing like this, I can guarantee that she will always be okay. I know realistically that is not how it goes. But, I am getting some of that stuff out of my head.
Maybe I am a bit more sensitive to small things like this.
Aizee was sick for months before she was diagnosed. She never followed the signs either. Long story. I guess since so many things sort of went by the way side and it was quite the time then, I want to make sure I am aware of everything now.

Happy adorable things here now. While Aizee was retching into her bucket, Remy brought her a towel to wipe her mouth. Then got her water bottle. I was sitting with Aizee helping her hold the bucket. Aizee was too busy trying to hold her ng tube in. I wish she would have just payed more attention on throwing up and getting it over with than worring about that tube! Next thing I know, there is Remy with a towel that she had gotten out of the drawer all by herself. I took it and gave her a one armed hug and a kiss. Telling her what a sweetie she is! (Brianna was in bed, or she would have been telling Aizee it was okay to be sick).
Then, Remy wanders out. Then comes back with Aizees water. Then, another time, she got Aizees lye (pacifier) and gave it to her along with her teddy bear.
This last time, when Aizee was done, I was coming back from starting my 3rd or so load of laundrey, and ther is Remy, next to Aizee, patting her back and flipping through the pages of a story book. Makes me teary to tell about it. What a warm heart that baby has.
My three absolutely beautiful inside and out girls. My entire life they are.

Okay, enough of my rambling.
I know that Maxie is doing a bit better. His grandma feels better after visiting him today. So, go see what's up when you get a chance! I am off to visit other kids.
I hope you do the same if you can@!
Don't forget to sign the guest-book first! Thank-you!
And sign the books of whoever you visit, even if it is just a hello, I visited you today! :)
Have a Yippee day. I know I will. Filled with silly kids, laundry and coffee!

Sunday, February 29, 2004 10:23 AM CST

Hello out there! So, last night, Rob and I stayed up and watched t.v. I cam to the computer later with intentions of reading and signing Caringbridge pages. Well, Remy woke-up. Oh, wait, let me back-up here first...
Okay, Rob had Friday off. I had to go see a traffic officer about a ticket I had gotten. Well, I figured since he was off and we had like 12 extra bucks, lets take them to Jungle Jims. It is like a Chuckee Cheese. It has rides inside. Like a Merry-Go-Round, Swings, Twirlywhirly things. Rocket shitps, Bumper cars, a jeep ride and a round-e-round roller coaster thing that also goes backwards. Slides and games. They love that place. We have not been there for about a year. Remy was still in her baby seat last time we went. They loved that rollercoaster thing. They rode that OVER AND OVER. Remy hated the rides at first, then she got into them. Busy day. And daddy won like 6 tickets at a game. The girls play this alligator game and won 3 each. I played skeeball and won some too. So, the end of the day, they got to pick two little prizes each. They chose snakes and rubber fish. Boy, amazing how much fun a tiny rubber fish can be!
We are driving home and Brianna realizes she accidentally left her two neat rocks at the place we ate. Too late now. That was hours ago. Plus, we are almost home which is over an hour away from where we live. Poor thing. She really liked those rocks. I felt bad for her. Okay, flash to last night. She accidentally flushes her prize fish down the john. I saw it right when it happened. But I couldn't get to the toilet on time to stop the flush action. She was SO upset. Poor thing! So, on Thuresday, after Aizees chemo, I get to drive to JJ to pay 10cents for a new fish. I even called the place to see if that was allowed to do. That made her happy. Oh, and this is after an entire day of arguing with her and Aizee. Those two fought all day yesterday and argued with me all day. It was annoying.
Okay, back to my attempt at the computer last night. Remy wakes up and won't go back to bed easily. Finally, she goes back to bed. Only to have Brianna wake-up saying she is going to barf. Well, she fell back to sleep and I thought, she must have been dreaming or somthing. Next thing I know, she barfs. Brianna does not know how to throw-up. Really. She tries to choke-it back down, and it freaks her out.
Big mess. I get her changed and her bed cleaned and changed. Her pottied, etc. Back to bed. With a towel. IT is like 2 or so in the morning. And I had no idea where THE BUCKET is. You know the one. She does it again. She also likes to talk loud. Aisalynn by this time is also awake. To discover the other capper on her NG is open. So, Brianna is a mess and so is Aizee. And they are both talking away. It is like 3 somthing now. I am bleary eyed and hoping Remy won't wake-up as well!
I get everyone new p.j.'s and clean sheets. etc. Finally back to sleep by 4 or so. To have A cat jump on my head and Remy to wake-up and Brianna barfing again. Etc. What a night/morning!!!! To wake-up to a squishy chomping sound. I look over half asleep and think Chazfire must have a mouse. Nope, it was some snitched bacon! The only cat I have ever owned that I can not train to stay off of the table. Making me NUTS!!!!
So, poor Banana Sillianna. Lost her rocks, flushed her fish, barfed all night.
The thing though is this. Like with Gemma's mom...Before Aizee was diagnosed, kids getting sick, whatever. But, take a kid like Brianna who NEVER GETS SICK, I took her to the doc on Tuesday to find out she has strep. Great. So, she is on Antibiotics. NOw she has a tummy bug. I mean, this kid NEVER GETS SICK to have 2 things in a row. Makes me nervous!!!!
Aizee is doing fine though. So, this is a switch. Other than her being a pipsqueak by fighting with me on everything. GRRRR!!!!! Delayed two year old thing?
And Remy. Into everything. Litarally. I discovered those Mr. Clean eraser doohickies really do work!
Okay, this entry must be really disjointed and a million words long. Between keeping up with the kids and their needs, and my friend IMing me, doing this, with a tired brain, I have no idea what I was originally going to write here. So, I'll just stop.
HOWEVER, please visit Maxie. He is in the hospital and his family is very afraid.
Julianna's grandmother just passed away. Katia's mommy got to have a full night of sleep in a real bed! YAY, and Kody has neat photos up because he and his sibs had a partying time. To find out more of what I am talking about, go visit their pages. Sign the books too!
There are more kids to visit as well! So, whenever you get a moment, please do so!
Thanks for visiting us. Please sign the guest book!
OH, and look for Aizee at Make-A-Child-Smile!!!!! :)
Have a Yippee day!

Tuesday, February 24, 2004 10:05 AM CST

Hello out there!
So, for an cheerful perspective about childhood cancer, go visit Julianna! WOW!
Maxie is in the hospital. And his grandma is one heck of a lady!
Katia is doing a bit better. Great photo of Tracy and Katia on her page too!
OH! And for an Erma Bombeckish read, I swear, go read Kendries page! Talk about a hoot of a lady!
There are a ton more, but, I leave it to you, the dear friend and reader to take the time, when you got it, to go and explore and see for yourself. These BRAVE BRAVE families of cancer-land!
Don't forget to sign the guest-books!

So, the Big-Banana ( Julianna's daddy!) copied and pasted the instructions how to dl better tunes here. I will get to it later. Thank-you for doing that!
Right now, Brianna, of all people, WHO NEVER EVER gets sick was not feeling well last night. She is one pain of a kid to have in bed too. She does not lay still! AND, she kept scrittching at my pillow. To know how truly obnoxious this is, wake-up at 3a.m. and take your finger nail and scratch at the fabric of your pillow, while your ear is on it. Imagine you are asleep waking up to it!
She said her inside throat hurts and her ears are making noise. So, off to see the Ped today. She is excited. This is sad to me. That to her, seeing the doc is a treat.
She is so smart and very mature for her age. If a bit 'blonde' at times.... :b
But, she is too young to understand that all the 'treats' that Aizee gets when she goes to the hospital are to try and make-up for what she has to endure. I am sure if given the chance, Aizee would not endure the ickyness she has to!
I try to keep the 'treats recieved' equal for the girls, but, well, KIDS!!!!! You know how it is. They are silly regardless.
Aizee has stopped eating. Anything. There are two things she will eat, and we are going to go even more broke if it keeps up forever.
Kids Cuisines, Mac and Cheese and what she calls Grandma's pizza. Which are the little single Red Baron pepperoni pizza's. My dad, Thank-you! Brought about 5 boxes the other day and guess what? They are all gone. And I didn't even get a bite!
Other than that, I can cook a million things. And if she takes one bite, that is great! Brianna though, is getting better at eating. Takes about 2 years to finnish one meal, she is the queen of dawdle by the way...but she eats it!
Remy is just an adorable 19month old that is here and there, everywhere.
Talk about Miss Personality!
So, that is it. Aizee's next Appointment is March 4th. Just vinc though. Thankfully. My mom is out of town helping with a friends wedding and travelling the country of Texas visiting friends and relatives. So, I get to take all three girls with me. WEEE!
OH! And hopefully in March, Aisalynn will be profiled on Make-A-Child-Smile! All you have to do is type in that into your browser and it will take you to the list of options, etc.
Also, I finally found out who does that song on the Starburst commercial. It had been bugging me. I had a moment of intelligence and decided to check out the webpage! Viola! It is " The Whistling Song " by P.J. Olssen. The entire song is pretty neat!
In fact, it is the song I want to put here. But, I will have to do that later. I am off to tend to my little miss.
Thank-you for visiting us. Please sign at least a Hello in the Guest-book! We love to know who was here! It takes a minute or two for the book to come-up, just so you know. Patience and all that...
If you get a few extra moments here or there, please visit one or 5 of the many kids that are linked above. Even the Angels, hard as it is, still appreciate visitors. Along with kids who are done with treatment. We are all together here, along the CaringBridge and we so appreciate all of you who care! Thanks!
Have a YIPPEE DAY!

Sunday, February 22, 2004 9:57 AM CST

*******************NEW PHOTOS******************** The one on top is a more current one. Taken about 2 months ago.********
This day, two years ago, in two thousand and two, at two in the morning..... 2/22/02 2a.m.
I was told that they would have to admitt Aisalynn into the hospital. I asked why? They told me they suspected leukemia. I was so exhausted and an emotiaonal wreck. I looked at the doc and asked him..." So, when you find out that she DOES NOT have cancer, then what? Oh, and can I stay with her? "
He looked at me and told me that if it turned out to not be cancer, then they would do whatever was needed to find out what was wrong. And, sure I could stay with her.
What a lifetime ago that feels like.
Ever been in the middle of a great book? A really, really good book?
You put it down for whatever reason...and pick up an entirely different one?
That is how it feels. The really good book got lost somewhere, BUT, I think we have found it, pieces of it actually. Need to find some glue now.....
Life is just weird. I really don't know what else to say about that. I have met many an awsome person. I am a completely different person than how I was. More neurotic, crazy, more aware of things. Learned many things I never would have, or wanted to know. The list goes on. But you, the living in cancer land individual knows what I mean. To you, I make sense...I think.
Thanks for visiting us and for signing the guest-book! :)
If you get a chance, please go and visit other kids and say at least hello in thier guest-books.
Have a YIPPEE DAY!

Thursday, February 19, 2004 12:05 AM CST

Hello out there. Rob and I went to see Mystic River on Tuesday. I was a bit traumatized by it. Great movie. Just don't plan on being happy at the end. But, it is worth at least one time viewing. He and I had a nice time together. :)
So, Wednsday,(yesterday) Remy went to her very first movie!
The Cat in The Hat. That movie was better than I had expected. I love all Dr. Suess things. SO much, that about 7 years ago, I got a Cat In the Hat Tattoo. He is bouncing the earth in one hand, and daintily holding up the end of his tail in the other.
We got in to the movie for free. This Christmas, they had been giving away stockings full of goodies. Aizee got a Cat In The Hat one. In it, there was the cartoon dvd. In that was a movie voucher. Being worth 5 dollars. Well, since it was the dollar theater, and 5 of us. That worked out. They each got little snack boxes. Remy sat on my lap. And she sat still the entire time! :)
Movie Tally Brianna-4 movies. Return to Neverland being her first film. Aizee-3 movies. Finding Nemo her first one. Remy-1 movie. The Cat In The Hat, her first one.
It was a fun day.
Today it is snowing, but warm out. Heehee, the yard is a mess. It had been warm and made the snow all slushy. And new snow on top of it. What wet fun.
Brianna was making snow castles with a bucket and Aizee would attack them. A little pink Godzilla!
Remy just ate snow and wanted to swing in her swing.
So, that is what we have been up to the last couple of days.
Aizees new favorite movie is Lilo and Stitch. But she prounounces it Cleo and Stix. Took me a bit to figure that one out!
OH! And I finally found that stinkin' little pink FischerPrice girl. Really should not have bought the amusement park set, but, well, She and that little pink girl have been inseperable since. She is silly. It is a black haired girl in a pink dress, holding a chocolate ice-cream cone. She calls it her 'Bink fawmar goil". Aizee sounds like Pop-eye sometimes....heehee.
So, that's it for now. My mom bought them Do-Do Island Play-dough. They are having a blast with it!

Thank-you for visiting us. Please sign the guest-book!
Katia is having one heck of a time of it. So, please go visit her and give Tracy your support!
There are also a few kids on her page that need visitors as well if you can.
ALSO, Jeremy may be relapsing. Not sure what is going on there, but please keep that family in your thoughts. His link is under JTROWE.
There are a lot of others to visit. I visit at least 6 a day. I know it can be hard. Emotionally and timewise. But, well, one here, one there...it does not have to be overwhelming. Just do what you can. And if everyone does that, then well, there you go. :)
Go buy some play-do and have fun with it!
Have a YIPPEE DAY!

Tuesday, February 17, 2004 9:29 AM CST

Hello out there. Hope everything with you is well.
We are doing just great. Took the girls to my folks house for Valentines day. Had a little Valentine party. It was fun. Played in the snow with Brianna. The other two didn't want to go out.
Got home and was putting them to bed when BAM< the power went out. Great. Nothing makes me feel more restless than that than no power. Luckily the girls went to bed easily. Calling the power company, they just said our power should be back around 11. It was about 8 or so then. Just ducky! I had planned on telling everyone hi in their guest-books. So, well, Happy Belated Valentines DAY everyone.
Just been doing the usual. Playing, cleaning the house, etc.
Routine. At least it is a predictable one. Gasp~normal~!!
We are thinking about catching a movie today. Especially now. My mom is going to be out of town for about 3 weeks. So, gotto to see one while we can. :)
We may take all 3 girls with us another day to see The Cat In The Hat. And when Remy acts up, Rob and I will tag team to take her to the lobby or somthing.
Rob and I have been watching a lot of entertaining things at night. I could put reviews here, but, well, doubt anyone is interested.
OH! And those free John Lithgow books that come with the Cheerios cereal are adorable!
Go pay Katia a visit. She is having one hell of a time with it. Similiar to what Christina had gone through. Just Katia is much younger, and I think the lack of being able to comprehend is making it that much harder on her and her dear mommy.
And if you did not know that Gemma is now done with her medication, you do now!
I could put a huge list here...however, I won't. I am going to leave it to you if you want to go visit others or not. When you do, please sign the guest-books! Thank-you!
And THANK-YOU for visiting us!
Have a YIPPEE DAY!

Oh, and sometimes I add more kids links on top. So, everyonce in awhile, puruse the list to see if a new one pops-up.

Saturday, February 14, 2004 10:19 AM CST

Hello out there!
Happy Valentines Day!
I hope it goes well for everyone out there! :)

Funny thing today. Aizee can seem larger than life at times. She can seem to be more than one person, filling an entire romm with her personality. Busy kid.
This morning, when I saw Rob helping her into her 'Rella (she calls all dresses Rellas, Short for Cinderella)
And she was so quiet and still. It struck me how tiny she actually is.
I am in awe of this little twerp! Actually, all three of them. They are my life!
Well, we are oughta here for the day. Going to go visit my folks and do a little Valentine thing. Rob and I had a mini party with just him and I last night. Hang-overs are never a fun thing though. Heh, and bad tv. It was fun though. Oh, and chocolate rum beans are too yummy.
I am going to visit other kids this evening, wishing them and thiers a happy day today.
If you get a chance, please do the same. We all love to read our guest-books. The neat stuff found in them brings out lots of smiles.
Oh, and Katia is having a bit of a rough time of it right now. So, well, keep that family in your thoughts.
Have a YIPPEE DAY!

Friday, February 13, 2004 11:56 PM CST

Hello out there!
Short but fun. This time last year, Aizee was fighting for her life. RSV turned to Phnemonia and about zero anc. It was a really bad time.
She is doing great today. I am celebrating, so, I won't write much more right now.
I realize how lucky we are.
realize, how lucky you are.
There are kids who had to overcome this by exiting this life. I can so not imagine.
There are those who are right now fighting to stay here with their families.
About this time last year, I discovered a few message boards. One was The Care to Share board, and along with it, the Caringbridge. My wonderful In-laws found this info for us and sent it. Lucky you huh? :b
And another board. A music related message board. Boy, did I ever go off on there. Long story.. talk about a few moms and emotional tirades. Well, I decided to pay more attention to this board and realized it was a place I had seen before...long story, I was an emotional wreck.
I finally simmered down and made so many friends. Caringbridge, TCTS and the other board.
Anytime anyone says, oh, it is just the internet....and behave badly, they are so wrong.
I so THANK-YOU to those who take the time to visit us.
To know us. To say anything in the guest-book. I have made so many friends here. In Care to Share. In another message board.
I grieve for those I have met and who have lost a dear one.
When you have been hit by cancer or some other not good thing, inadvertantly, you are isolated. It is wonderful that there is a way to meet others who you can relate to and talk to.
That care.
I know I will update this later. I am feeling the effects of Captain Morgans, Private stock right now.
I just wanted to tell all who come here, THANK-YOU!
YOu have no idea how important you are to us.
If I had one wish, I would so wish things to be wonderful for us all.
Have a Yippee day.

Tuesday, February 10, 2004 8:48 AM CST

HI out there. I went to a viewing and a funeral of a dear teacher of mine. He was Bill Huhnke. My band teacher. And a big wiesenheimer. He was only 48 and had a heart-attack. Pretty young. It was snowing through the sunshine. Saw a lot of people from school. Friends and teachers. Like a small reunion. Just wish it had been better circumstances. :(
He made the Park City band what it is today. He taught us a lot. That band won a lot of awards. We went to perform in the half-time show of The Freedom Bowl. A lot of other concerts and events as well. Heck, the Park City band had so many offers to do so many things. Due to our foot-ball minded principal at the time, Mr. Huhnke was not allowed to take us as far as we could have gone. I was one of his very first band students. Starting in his first class in the 5th grade. And stayed in it until graduation. Class of 91. He was very talented as a teacher and a musician. And a friend. I am still shocked that this happened. Anyway,
There is a lady; she and her husband were pretty good friends with my folks, their son is one year older than me. His sister and brother are a bit older than that. Anyway, due to pancreatic cancer, she was just given two months to live. She has nine grand-kids.
Feb is not a good month for me. And those are just two more reasons.
I can't wait for March!
Right now, Brianna is writting her name over and over. She is so proud! She is so funny! We were watching home movies the other day and it was adorable. Brianna was such a tiny little thing. She looks the same, just taller. Even her silliness remains the same!
Aizee, WOW< what a difference. When she was smaller, all she was was HUGE eyes and forehead! And quiet.
Remy was just a smaller version of herself now.
Aizee has been on a pizza kick. The Red Baron mini pizzas. She calls them Grandma's pizza. And she will over and over again say she is going to go to Grandma's house and have Grandma's pizza. At breakfast she speaks of this pizza. At lunch, at snack, dinner...etc. Even while she was eating it yesterday, she kept talking about going to Grandma's to have Grandma's pizza, and she was there, at my moms eating the pizza. She is so silly. She is actually getting some hair back! YAY. She makes me laugh a lot! She and Remy are starting to play more together. They like to gang-up on Brianna. I think they think it is funny because Brianna gets so mad.
Oh, and haha, Remy won the Oscar for most dramatic performance. Rob held up her snowsuit for her to put on and she screamed and threw herself into the couch and did that funny kid thing were they get so dramatic and woeful. Like, putting on a suit that turns you into a marshmellow is anything to get upset about!
Well, the IMP and her sibs are getting busy now. And, a million 'Mommy this and Mommy that' going on. Concentration is not as it should be.
PLEASE sign the Guest-book! Thanks!
Please Go visit Katia. She had her transplant, and now suffers goopy lungs. Last time I checked, no news on what is going on with that.
Thank-you for visiting us! Please, if you get a chance, go visit other kids. Even the ones done with Treatment still enjoy visitors to their page and guest-book. And, though it is hard, the Angel families still need greetings as well!
Have a YIPPEE DAY!

Friday, February 6, 2004 10:34 AM CST

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Okay, I just wrote a huge up-date and TA-DA! It is gone now. Is that just ducky or what? So, now I am a bit grumpy. It was a great thing to read too. Too bad you didn't get to see it!
So, here is the Cliff-Notes version.
We took Aizee and Brianna to see Brother Bear on Wednsday. They had fun! Had their little kidsnack boxes on their little laps, and big eyes focused on the screen. It was a good movie. IT is Disney though, so it did have some tragedy of course. My kids are so good! It was fun.
Then, my mom offered to watch all three of them and loaned us some money so that Rob and I could go see a movie.
It was a toss between Mystic River and The Butterfly Effect. Due to Remy getting way mad at being left twice in the same day, we ended up seeing The Butterfly Effect.
That was a really good movie. Not sure why the critics blasted it so. IT was very intense. BUT, it does have some extream content.
Aizees kangaroo pump started to act up on Tuesday night. That happens from time to time. I think the pumps just need a tune up after so long. Darn thing and its BEEPBEEPBEEPBEEP like an alarm clock. I hope we get a newer one that at least plays a little tune. Still, she is not eating much, despite no Pediasure for 3 nights now.
I took her to clinic yesterday for her vinc. She chatted and skipped all the way there. ANd set right to playing. Once again trying to make off with the pink fisherprice girl holding an icecream cone. I must go visit the FischerPrice web page that a nice lady left the address to in the guest-book.
AIze is getting so big and is so happy. I love it. Such a funny little IMP. And, boy, can she chatter.
Her counts are good. 1400for ANC. Platelets are 190.
Her next appointment in March is for Vinc and her LAST LP is in April. Then, I guess on May 2nd, we just stop everything, just like that. No doctor visit or anything. Not too sure how I feel about that. I mean,are their any withdrawl effects? What about her NG feeds?
I was told I have to schedual a surgery date for her port-removal. And then go in 6 weeks later for a cbc.
I am thrilled to be almost done, but also afraid.
I mean, she had a killer in her and her and now it is gone, MAYBE. Took a long time and a lot of crap to figure out was going on with her in the first place. Then it is like, that's it. Happy and afraid are an odd mix.
But, what am I whining about? I mean, there are those out there that are going through so much worse. And for many of them, there is no end for them here. Their exit is off of the planet.
Conor Ford is a new Angel. Passing away yesterday. His spirit was so BIG and STRONG, but his body was too little and tired. He fought SO hard.
I am off to go visit other children. Thank-you for visiting here. And thank-you for signing the Guest-Book.
If you get an extra moment or two, please go visit other kids. Even those done with Treatment and The Angels. Sign the books if with even a simple hello. It does mean so much. Thank-you.
Have a YIPPEE DAY!

Tuesday, February 3, 2004 11:05 PM CST

Hey, I know I will write more later. But right now, I wanted to please go visit CONOR

His family is having to make some very heartwrenching choices right now. He had had JMML and it changed to AML. This child has fought so hard. His family has been so strong and close the entire time. So, please, go visit them. Please, just,umm, I don't know really what you can do, except let them know that you know that they exist, and care. And pray.

I will add stories about The IMP and her sisters at another time.
Please visit other children and if you can, please say hello in the guest-books. Even the kids off of treatment and those close to it appreciate hellos and things!
Have a yippee day. Realize how lucky you are that you can have another day to be yippee.

Tuesday, February 3, 2004 11:05 PM CST

Hey, I know I will write more later. But right now, I wanted to please go visit CONOR

His family is having to make some very heartwrenching choices right now. He had had JMML and it changed to AML. This child has fought so hard. His family has been so strong and close the entire time. So, please, go visit them. Please, just,umm, I don't know really what you can do, except let them know that you know that they exist, and care. And pray.

I will add stories about The IMP and her sisters at another time.
Please visit other children and if you can, please say hello in the guest-books. Even the kids off of treatment and those close to it appreciate hellos and things!
Have a yippee day. Realize how lucky you are that you can have another day to be yippee.

Saturday, January 31, 2004 10:22 AM CST

Hello out there. So, yesterday was my birthday. The girls and I went to my folks house. I got a nap!
The girls baked me a most yummy cake. It was a fun day.
Aizee is doing great. Other than that she now is talking about Ghosts. I doubt it would bother me so much...if she did not have cancer.
Out of the blue a few nights ago, she wakes up crying about the ghosts getting her. She did it about 4 times.
Then all that next day. "The ghosts no come get me?"
etc.
It sort of disconcerts(sp?)me. I have no idea where she got the ghost thing. We don't have any stories with them and no movies either. Kids and the things they pick-up. She has slowed down the chatter about it a bit today so that is good!
Brianna is being her usual, smart, beautiful self! Remy too.
I know I have a tale or two to share,....with three adorable, wild munchkins, how could I not?
But, speaking of which, I timed doing this update wrong.
So, well, Aizees next appointment is next week.
I know I will be back before then to astound you with another instalment of um.....hmmm, what would one name a silly 'show' about 3 lovely kids? A nice guy and an eccentric mother? Food for thought. =)
Anywho, gotto go! I have been back to visiting other kids!
And signing books!~ So, if you get a chance, please do the same!
Have a Yippee day! And thank-you for visitng! Please sign the book!

Monday, January 26, 2004 9:36 AM CST

WELCOME-By The WHO
Come to my house
Be one of the comfortable people
Come to this house
We're Drinking all night
Never sleeping
Milkman, come in!
And you, Baker
Little old lady,welcome
And you, Shoemaker
Come to this house
Come to this house
be one of us
Make this your house
Be one of us
You can help
To collect some more in
young and old people
Let's get them all in!
Ask along that man
With a big red carnation
Bring every single person
From Victoria Station
Go into the hospital and bring
The nurses and the patients
Everyone go home
and fetch your relations
Come to this house
Be one of the comfortable people
Lovely bright home
We're drinking all night
Never sleeping
There's more at the door
We need more roomBuild an extension
A colourful palace
Spare no expense now.


So, there is the welcome mat for all the travelers visiting from Kendrie's page.
I thank-you for coming by.
If I had any idea how to up-load that song here for you to hear, be sure it would be on here. ANYONE? IF you can help me, please, do not hesitate to! Thanks!
Along with this one that starts with these lyrics
Did you see the faces of the children
They got so excited
Waking up on Christmas morning
Hours before the winter suns ignited
THEY BELIEVE IN DREAMS AND ALL THEY MEAN
INCLUDING HEAVENS GENEROSITY

A good friend of Rob and I, his son died of a soft tissue sarcoma. The kicker is, that he did not need to die. Had the doctors not let it go so long. It mastatisized and fled into the blood stream. He had 5urvival. That really sucks.

So, let me admitt somthing here. I have slowed down on visits lately. I am attempting Kendrie's one hundred kid challenge. But, I guess after doing so many books for so long, I sort of burned myself out for a bit. I am slowly making the rounds.
But, though you do not see me in the guest-book, does not mean I am not thinking about you. I know that I need to get back to it and actually tell you that in the guest-book. I will.
Aizees counts are at 1000. So, 75percent meds. Her next appointment is on the 5th. So, we shall see.
She is such an IMP! My gosh. She is SO busy and what mischeif she pulls. She loves to pick on Brianna. Brianna is easy for her to pick on, because she is more 'proper' for lack of a better word. Oh, and, hahhaha, one night, we were arguing at bed time. Typical thing there. So, I am sitting there reading my book, thinking she must be almost asleep, after our last heated discussion about going to bed. Out of the blue, she sits up in her bed and says all mad like " FINE MOMMY! When I grow up, I AM NOT GOING TO COLLEGE!!!!"
So, there, I guess she told me eh?
Remy is the champ of cuteness and fits. She resembles a Precious Moments Figurine. One that can yell and throw herself around like no other kid could!
The weather has been cold. Snowy. Blah. I am the laundry queen. Brianna thinks she must be Cinderella since I make her help. She has to put her clean socks and panties away! OH MY! Call the child welfare on us right now! I get Aizee to help as well. She likes to. Remys job is to go to the drawers right after they have put their things away and pull them out all over the room. And laugh. That is a requirement.
Rob is doing good. So am I. Just got to shake these blahs. I cannot wait until March. Well, actually, I am so excited for May because that means the end of treatment!!! YAYA!
But, in March, I know I will back to my more motivated self.
Jan and Feb are hard. BUt,the misscarriage just made it worse. I would never have thought that the lingering FI syndrome would so compound the other type of blah.
Ohwell, after many years of dealing with these two months and my blah, I know not to fight it, it will go away sooner or later.
ANywho, THANK-YOU For visiting us! Thank-you for taking up the One Hundred kid challenge. For those of you who do not know what that is, there is a link above for Kendrie. Her mom has put one hundred kid links on her page. And challenges everyone to visit each one and say hello in their guest-books.

Thank you again.
HAVE A YIPPEE DAY!!!! :)

Thursday, January 22, 2004 11:05 AM CST

*)(&(&(&(*^*^(*&)(*!~~~~NEW PHOTOS~~~(&(&(*)((*)_()*(^$*
YAYA! Check em out!

Hello out there. Oh, my. I am tired. Things went great with Kate though. It is good, yet sad to see how traned Aizee is with everything. When I put the emla on this morning, her first words, " I see the doctor for them to take off the sticky" So, I reminded her that it was Kate coming and that she was not going to the hospital today.
She was so good for Kate. She helped with everything. Even pulling down her shirt and offering her arm-pit for the thermometer. Standing so still and serious until it beeped.
She even took off the sticky herself when she knew it was access time.
The only concernis that her port was hard to draw from. Not clogged, but not as smooth as it had been.
So, now I get to wait for the phone call to tell me what is going on with her counts. I am sure they are up again because she has been so normal. Actually, it seems she is over energized! HAHaH, and she loves to pick on Brianna. Poor Nana.
Brianna is doing great. So grown-up. Man, and her memory and imagination sure keep you hopping.
Remy is being a pipsqueak. Her last molar is almost in and she sure has made sure everyone is knowing about it. Oh, and she is one tough kid. I guess that is how it is when you are number 3 in the pecking order.
Return Of The King was awsome! I highly reccomend it to anyone who has yet to see it!
I wanted to go to Joe's Crab shack, but, I talked myself out of. We seem to always go there, and my folks said the Mayan was good.
Boy, okay, well, now we can say we tried it. Not that spectacular. Yes, there were cliff-divers. They were neat. I am weird. I kept expecting one to hit the rocks and that made me nervous. There are little robotic animals that sang and talked every once in awhile. And a storm scene. The food was okay. But, well, it is not my thing. So, now we know that we should stick with Joe's. :) Heck, the waitstaff dances through the dining room and it gets pretty wild there.
Oh, and hwhahhah, bad thing here, so if you are a prude, skip from here until I tell you it is safe again....

Okay, at the Mayan, I ordered a drink called somthing like Kamata's Sacrifice. It was good. So, as I am drinking it, I come across a cherry. So, I made a joke to Rob that I must have just sacrificed a virgin. HAHAHA, so I am wondering if that was intentional. Like that was really how the drink was, like a goofy joke. So, I asked the waiter and the look on his face. Rob and I were in tears trying not to laugh at it.

OKAY, It is safe to read again....
I know that it was not that bad, but there are some shy folk who read here and I don't want to upset them.
So, that was a fun time. Nice break too. Oh, and before we went to the movie, we went to Media Play to use the gift cards that my brother had gotten us for Christmas. We got what we wanted. My card had 3 bucks and some change. Robs had like 6 and change. NO cash back, so Rob let me combine them to get another cd, since he is generous like that.
So, there was 11cents left. They would not even give me 11 cents! The girl offered to just take my card and I was a bit annoyed by how anal they are I said no.
So, now I have a whopping 11cents on a gift card. Silly, I know, but I mean, there is cash back, then there is Cash back!
Sorry I have not been to sign books lately. Sorry to say it, but that may be hit and miss until the end of February. I am working on it though.
Everyone out there who I know from Caringbridge and those who visit Caringbridge are in my thoughts though. So, it is not like you are being completely blown-off.
I hope everyone is doing well. :)
Have a Yippee Day!

Monday, January 19, 2004 10:04 AM CST

Hey out there. Don't mind me. IT has just been usual busyness around here. I mean, the girls get up already set in high gear and it stays that way all day. Their slow mode is out of order or somthing lately.
I am thinking it is the weather. But, who knows.
I used to have the mornings to peacfully write here, but, now there is soooo much Mommy This and Mommy that that my concentration is shot.
I get a day off tommorow though. An early b-day present from my folks. Sending Rob and I to a movie and dinner. How would it be. To eat a meal in peace and the hot part hot and the cold cold. And all to myself without grubby paws trying to snitch things. It has been awhile.
And a movie. On the big screen. I got a bit spoiled there when we were able to go at least once a month. And not going for a few months has bugged me. Obviously. But, hey, that is how it goes.
I have a question for any ALL moms, or any mom of a purinthanol child. When the dosages get lowered due to counts, or whatever, did your kid get a bit, um....spazzy?
Or is this a phase of Aizee. I have no clue. But out of nowhere came this really wild child. Which is fine, just a surprise. She keeps me hopping. She crashes out right at 7 and wakes up a quarter to 6 every morning. Starting the day full steam ahead. Remy too. Remy has come into her own with her own twist on Impyness. Boy, she sure is somthing else. And her temper is a diety unto itself:b
So, Kate comes on Thuresday to check counts and we go from there.
Other than things being a bit nuts. And Jan and Feb are not the best months for me anyway, things are going just fine around here.
Sorry for being a slacker on other pages. I have been visiting like 3 a night. Instead of 30 or so.
So, I really cannot tell you what is going on with others, with any accuracy. If you get a chance, please go visit them and please, do not forget the guest-books.
There are seriously ill kids, Kids almost done with treatment and those who are all done.
And the Angel pages as well.
Thanks!
Have a YIPPEE day!

Wednesday, January 14, 2004 11:48 PM CST

Hi there everyone.
Have any of you ever woken up and had one of those days where you are like.... WHAT THE HECK HAPPEND THIS DAY??
But, in my head, sorry, it included bad words as well. But, only in my head, or way, WAY under my breath. :b
Okay, today was Remys check-up day and Brianna too. Heck, lets throw in a few extra minutes with Aizee as well.
The original plan was Remy getting her 18month check-up. Shots suck, but, well, what are you going to do about it right?
Well, for months and months, through the years, off and on, Brianna has complained of leg pain. And, now introducing, Itching. SO, I decide to include the appoinments. Must conserve gas and Robs days off, etc. The original plan was for Aizee and daddy to stay at home. Then, after Aizees appointment, swelling around her eye and face has come and gone. Really buggin me. Wondering what the heck that was about. I mean, it looked like someone socked her in the face. Not being one to let things go, I called the ped docs and ask that 15 or so minutes be included with the other two. Not a problem.
So, hahhaha, due to the NG feeds, Aizee wheighs one pound more than Brianna.
So, Remy is perfect. Everything about her. YAY! Even though I have stopped trying to ween her for now, her wheight, height and everything else is great. SHe of course cried at her shot. NO MMR (?) because it is a live virus. So, later on that one.
Brianna is great as well, What a big girl. Only concern is her right eye. Could not read the eye chart as well as her left. Rob is losing his vision faster in the right than the left. And my mom has problems with her right as well. So, that is a wait and watch for later. Since she is starting Kindergarten in the fall, we decided to do her shots for then now. She jumped like 2 feet off of my lap. What a tough cookie though.
Aizee though, may be losing her hearing. DR. Ostler checked her ears and found fluid behind both and even doing the air thing it did not move. So, another wait and see until her next vinc appointment in 3 weeks. I think I will see what her counts are on the 22 when Kate comes to do a cbc. Now that I think about it, I do not remember anyone checking her ears last time. But, I do know that her hearing test was said to wait until all was done with.
BUt, it would explain why she does not behave like she used to. And, well, she says mommy mommy mommy over and over again. I have worked with children for over 13 years before having my own. I am so bonded with Aizee that when this new behaviour started, I was wondering. SO, play it by ear.\
But, what a day. A huge wreck in front of the Dr. Office. Then, other folks driving like a really bad swear word here.
Later, I am cleaning the girls room. I see a can of pedia sure on the window sill. I had forgotten this. See, Brianna had wanted to try some. I gave her some in a cup, she was so funny about it. She said she wanted to save it for later. I knew that she thought it was icky. And it is. That stuff is SO blech!
I had taken the rest of it upstairs with plans to put it in Aizees Kangaroobag later. Well, I spaced it. Life got in the way maybe? So, well, this later afternoon, I see this can and go to grab it to throw it away. You know how you have to be preped for picking up a can that is heavier than empty? I dropped this half full can behind Brianna's bed. What a mess. And, there are those of you who read here... YOu know that smell of Pediasure gone bad!
I am using everything I can find to clean this stuff before that happens.
Yup, one of those days...one thing after another.
Like, opening the fridge and some half closed thing falls and splatters everywhere...your kid pukes and it coats stuff all around...you go to do dishes in the sink and the faucet is aimed wrong. You know. That is just how it goes.
But, the plus of it is, it gives you, the reader evil giggles because it is not you right now. It is someone else for the moment. :)
Life is silly. Grab as much of it as you can!
Please visit Katia and Michelle. And Conor
SIGN THE GUEST-BOOKS please!
And, there are so many others to say HELLO to!
even those off of treatment... Aizee in MAY! Fingers crossed!
Everyone loves company! Thank you so much!
Have a YIPPEE DAY!

Friday, January 9, 2004 9:41 AM CST

First, if you get a chance, please visit Michelle. Her mom and family are starting the preperations for her passing.
I can not even imagine what that must feel like. But, she truely appreciates any kind words in the Guest-book. Thanks.

So, well, AIzees counts have dropped to 600. So, basically she is neutropenic. They dropped her meds to 50percent now.
Her end of treatment is schedualed in May. YAY.
I can not wait until I do not see her dopped out of her mind like that. You folks who have seen thier kids on Ketamine and Verset know what I am talking about. Basically those drugs are PCP. Isn't that lovely?
But, the LP is like enduring an epidural so I am glad she does get doped. I mean, all of it is no fun, I don't want my kid on drugs, but I rather that than her enduring that pain.
She did really well. She has matured so much. It is amazing. She knows the entire clinic routine. She is not phased at all. I still am though. Seeing her eyes and she is not there when she is under, but her eyes are open and spacy. And when she talks it is like a movie in slow motion. When she comes out of it, it is always a relief.
Back to her impy self.
No phone call from the hospital so that means that her spinal fluid is good. Phwew.
We are housebound now, though. Because any fever at that low of anc count could mean we would have to go to the hospital. And that would suck.
The home nurse is going to come in two weeks to do a CBC to see where her counts are and then go from there with her treatment.
All the girls are in great moods today so that is great.
Cousin Jimmy and his family sent us that stuff you can make your own window transparancies with. They actually turn out pretty neat. ( I think it was those guys who sent it. Rob just handed out presents and I did not get a chance to see who sent what...)
EEH< I keep having to leave for a minute or two then coming back, and my train of thought is not having a smooth ride of it right now. So, before I start getting really disjointed I will stop here.
Thanks for visiting us. PLEASE sign the guest-book. Thanks.
And if you get an extra moment or two, please go visit another child or 3. Everyone loves a visitor. Even the ones who just ended treatment. Or have been off for a bit.
Don't forget the guest-books. Oh, and some take a bit to come up. SOme are way fast and some, like ours take a bit. I have no idea why that is, but it is.
Have a YIPPEE day! :)

Wednesday, January 7, 2004 9:51 AM CST

Hello out there.
Too many adventures to write about.
Aizee goes in at 8:00a.m. for her lp.
I really am starting to dread these things. But what can I do?
Aisalynn has actually been eating more here and there.
I think that the Wendy's drive-thru people ought to know us by name now.
That is one meal I can guarantee that she will eat. That and Kids Cuisine Mac and Cheese. I need to go see if some warehouse dealer sells that in bulk. Right now she is gutting some toast.
Yesterday while they were playing in the play-room, Aizee was behind the couch and Blossom fell on her. Still not sure exactly what happend. But man, what a mess. Her back was all messed up. It looks a lot better this morning.
It has been very cold and snowy for days. I took the girls out to play in the fresh new snow the day before yesterday. They sunk up to their little waists. I thought it was funny. Remy really did not see the humore in it. She did not like it one bit. Brianna thought it was great. Aizee was very worried about the snowmen we had previously made. There was the big one and the little one which she dubbed as the big ones baby.
So,I got the job of trying to unbury them. I did and we set about doing repairs. They are now buried again.
Other than Remy being so mad about being out, it was a lot of fun.
Brianna is talking to her Nuni right now. It is fun to hear her sound so grown-up. And boy, the ideas and thoughts that come out of that mind of hers. Amazing.
So, we are just hanging out today. I am not taking anyone outside today. Last thing needed is Aizee getting a cold the day before her lp. It's not like the snow is going anywere fast.
Katia is going to have lung surgery before her transplant. Go to her page and check out what is happening there.
Conor's transplant was postponed.
Julianna is still being tough despite her recent relapse.
Not sure what is going on with Michelle right now.
Katelynn's little brother now is sick with somthing.
Boy, and things just keep going and going.
Anna is doing well. Cameron, Jackie, Sammi, and Germ are as well. Things are so hit and miss. So, I guess to find out further details, you are just going to have to go read and find out for yourselves.
Don't forget to sign the guest-books. Thanks.
Have a Yippee day. :)

Sunday, January 4, 2004 0:46 AM CST

Hello out there. It is late and I am off to bed.
BUT, first. Julianna has relapsed. This really sucks. Actually, all of it sucks. Too much fear. Too much pain.
There is a lot of love though. And caring.
So, if you did not know that she and her family were in need of some comfort, now you do.
Thank-you Sandra for helping me there.
I admitt, I have been slacking off.
My goal for tommorow is to catch up with all of my friends and family.
Signing guest books and to tell all of you out there who are going through some hell or other, to hang in there.
People do care!
People you have never met. I know this for a fact. Ihave been suffering with my own issues and last night I got really down.
A friend wrote me somthing that really helped me today.
Another friend sent me a card.
Others have let me on their voice chats even when I have acted like a loon.
Stuff like that.
Just when you tell someone you care, even if you do not know what else to say or do, just that means A LOT!
More than can be expressed.
It has helped me pull through.
And, to those who are doing well with everything, we rejoice in that. It gives hope. It makes for positive thoughts.
And I want to say YAY! That is so great!
I put all of that here until I can tell you each individually in your guest-books and e-mails.
Thank-you all for just being who you are. :)
Have a Yippee day!

Thursday, January 1, 2004 4:04 PM CST

Ashley has become heavens newest ^i^ Angel. What a way for this family to start the new year. yick.

I know their family is devestated. Please find her link on the top of the Angel list and sign their guest-book. I know it is VERY hard to know what to say to these familys who are suffering so. BUT, just saying that you came by to tell them that you care! That may not seem like much, but believe me, it means A LOT to them. Really! It does.

Kody and his family have become extreamly close to Ashley and her family. Kody was planning on marrying Ashley. They were the same age and suffered through the same stuff.
So, maybe go there too and help keep Kody's chin up.

I have not gone by many CaringBridge pages myself this last week. I am deffinantly going to tonight.

We had a mellow New Years here. Got the kids to bed. Rob watched movies. I chatted on-line with friends.
Then, watched Conan O'Brian. As soon as he did the countdown for this area, I went to bed. Yay.
Today, is a RAGING Blizzard. It is completely white out. And the wind is monsterouse.
So, hanging out in the house, yet again. All this new snow and too cold and miserable to go out and play in it. Hopefully soon.
That is pretty much what is going on. Aizee has a bit of a fever, but it has not gone past 100 yet. And it had better not!!!
I hope everyone had a fun New Years and hope the new year goes great.
Thanks for visiting us. Please visit other kids when you get the chance. And, PLEASE sign the guest-books. All of us enjoy reading the entries! :)
Have A Yippee day.

Tuesday, December 30, 2003 10:08 AM CST

Please Visit Ashley and give her and her family much needed comfort and support! Thank-you!



Hello out there.
Thank-you for your support and friendship during this ordeal.
I feel a bit better after seeing the Doctor yesterday.
This is somthing that happens more than people realize. And it is one of those things that no one is at fault for or can control. Still sucks though.
I was told that I should feel better emotionally and physically in a month. And, if Rob and I want to, there may be a chance that we can try again. Not sure how we feel yet. Got to get off of this rollercoaster first.

The girls had a wonderful holiday. So did we.
They are over thier colds and are being their usual pip-squeak selves!
My brother and Maria had come for the Holidays. Bringing their new puppy, A Shar-Pei named A-Gloria. They loved that. Especially Remy. She is so into animals. More so than any kid I have ever met.
Aisalynn's next appointment is on January 8th, at 8a.m.. It is an LP. I am begining to really dread those. I just want it to be all done and over with so we don't have to worry about it any more!

I have not been by any CaringBridge pages for the last few days. I hope I feel up to it tonight.
I hope everything is well with everyone out there. Visitors and other Caringbridge families.
Thank-you for coming by. And for signing the guest-book. And the e-mails. IT is appreciated more than any typed words could ever properly express.
Have a Yippee day.

Friday, December 26, 2003 10:59 PM CST

This will be SHORT!
My Windows Explorere has a glitch.
Thank-you all for your holiday wishes.
The girls had a wonderful day.


I just wanted to let you know,
I miscarried the baby today. The doctors say it is just one of those things.
Right now I am a bit messed up emotioanlly and on a few script drugs.
So, on Monday, I hope the tech guy can fix the bad file. Do not worry, it is not a virus or anything. I just downloaded some bad discs. So, it messed up a few files. My own fault. So, I keep getting a file error message.
My interet works fine. It is just the basic xp giving me a hassal.\
So, well, that is taht. When that is fixed and I am not so messed up, I will be more coherent in my explanation.

I hope all of you had a wonderful holiday.

Tuesday, December 23, 2003 9:35 AM CST

Hello out there. It is FREEZING here today. Like 5 degrees out. Later, we get the joy of driving to Salt Lake City to see our attorney. We have to sign some papers. Then he sends these papers to the psychos attorney and then we go from there. These people are determined to take us to court. Whatever. I just don't understand people who make a hobby out of petty law-suits. Or what they think they are going to gain. I just love how we have to take time out of other stuff to deal with it. A big waste of time. There are those who have nothing better to do. I am not sure what we would have planned for the day, but it would have been better than going all the way to SLC to see some attorney.
Okay, enough of that.
I plan on visiting everyones guest-book to wish them a happy holiday. And the Angel books as well. I think everyone should try and do that. I know it is hard. I am so not sure as what to say. Especially to those who just lost their child. But, I want them to know that they are being thought about and not alone.

Tommorow night, we are going down to visit some of Robs relatives. they are fun to visit. A big, fun crowd of folks. Then on Christmas day, let the girls go nuts with their stuff under the tree. Then head off to my parents house. My brother and his new wife Maria will be there. This will be their first Christmas together. This will be interesting. Well, that is it for now.
If you get a chance, please visit other children and let them know that you visited them. Guest-book entries are great to read.
On Gooch's page, his mother has a whole grid of kids. IT is called ADOPT-A-CHILD. It is to make sure all children get visitors to their web-page. She is expanding it to include adults as well.
Just remember that the holidays are fun and filled with neat presents and goodies, but that is just a lucky extra. That seems to overshadow the rest.
The main theme behind a holiday is love and togetherness. The spirit of the Holiday is bonding with others over a shared belief, whatever that belief may be. And remembering that we are all humans that all need to live and get along on this same planet, despite the different beliefs.
Have a YIPPEE day.

Sunday, December 21, 2003 9:07 AM CST

Hello out there. We finally got some new snow last night. Enough to cover to oozy mud and stuff.
The girls still have their colds. They seem to be easing up a bit.
Remy is being such a stinker! HAHA, this age is GREAT!
But, I still can't get over how tiny she is. How tiny Aizee was.
Though Aizee missed this silly time the first go-around, she is making up for it now.
Brianna tries to be so grown-up! The things that kid comes up with is impressive. I am sure all of you out there who has had ever the pleasure of dealing with a 5 year-old fully know.

I took the girls to my folks house and went down to Salt Lake to get a few more Christmas presents. Man, no one sells big Fischer-Price sets. All the ones that are being sold are the ones we have already collected. I have been looking for the amusement park and the tall garage with the car ramps forever. :(
Ohwell. I found a couple single sets to add on to their other sets.
And, I can not believe I used to work in a mall. I am not sure if my customer service would be more improved now, or worse. My patience is greater now, so maybe it is balanced out.
Anyway, that is it for now.
Thanks everyone for letting me add more links. If you want me to say somthing next to your kids name, just let me know. And, if you know of any other kids who I should add, please let me know that as well. :)
Thank-You so much for stopping by! Please sign the guest-book! IF you get a chance, please stop by others and say hello to them as well!
Have a YIPPEE DAY!

Friday, December 19, 2003 11:17 PM CST

Well, so the revamping of the links is a start. Sorry that not all of the names have a little description next to them. I am working on it. Until I get it all done, I guess you will have to go visit them and meet them and see what's up for yourselves! :)
Don't forget to sign the guest-books!
Nothing too exciting going on here. The colds are still around and so is the freezing weather.
Brianna asked me if I would write a letter to Santa to see if he would mind coming by a bit early this year. Kids! They are always thinking! Especially when goodies are concerned.
So, well, that is it for now. Thanks for visiting us. Have a YIPPEE day!

If you live in a snow and ice area, be aware of kids playing too close to your home. Ice and snow slides off of the roof and can crush people who are unaware. That happens here a bit. Especially when folks move here from warmer areas. They are not aware of the hazards that slide off of buildings. That and debrise out of snowblowers.

OH! And here is a very important link about the dangers of Carbon Monoxide Poisoning in cars. A visitor to Aizees page sent this to me and I wanted to share it with you.
Carbon Monoxide dangers

I should state that everyone should also get a detector for their home. We would have died in a house we had lived in a few years ago without ours. In 1999. It was an older house, but with a newer furnace. The house had not been built on it's foundations. It had been moved from a different location. An older farm house it was. Anyway, the time I was pregnant with Aizee, the house shifted on the prelaid foundations. Slowly but surely, you could tell that things started to shift and go wrong in various places in the house.
Long story. Aizee was born. Time passes. But, one night, after being at the store, we came home to a very humid house. It was May, but in the Woodland area, snow stays until July. Then, we started to get very disoriented. Our alarm started to sound and we got out of there asap. Rob worked at Park City Resort and got us a condo. We did not want to go back to that house, so we moved permanantly.
Anyway, if we did not have that monitor beeping so LOUD and OBNOXIOUSLY, we may have just fallen asleep and that would have been that.
So, I vote for the same thing to be manufactured for cars as well.
Okay, long, unrelated story, but what else is new. :b


added 11:30 p.m. And damnit! NO MORE KIDS RELAPSING AND/OR DYING!!!
This really sucks!
Both Katia and Gooch and Kody have lists of names on their pages that have links. Please, visit them and then visit the kids listed and add your support to these families. This cancer crap is awful at anytime, but SO much more compounded due to the holidays. These icky illnesses do not take a vacation.

Thursday, December 18, 2003 9:19 AM CST

Hello out there. Yesterday was fun! We first took the girls to the store and met my mom there. So Rob could check-out an excercise bike. That is what he wanted for Christmas. My folks wanted him to pick out the one he wanted. While we were there, Brianna spotted a 'Rockin Santa. It sings " Taking care of Christmas" to the tune of " Takin' care of Bussiness ". And he does the wave. One hand is in a peace sign, the other is in a thumbs-up. Pretty silly. Brianna has this thing for dancing santas. She has 3 already. One from when she was about one. SHe carried that thing everywear that entire season. The poor thing no longer dances and is quite a mess, but she still loves him. Anyway, then we went and got lunch at a silly place called The Cowboy Grub. It has free electronic horses they like to ride, stuff like that. Then off to the mall to see Santa. Along the way to were the big guy was, we passed a neat mini-golf place. It was all Glow-in-the-dark. We decided to take the girls back after.
So, the photo on top is the result of seeing Santa. As you can see, Remy is not very thrilled about it. There was a shot with her mouth open even wider in a deafening screech, but, Aizee was looking the other way.
After that adventure, we went for a crusie through the mall. I saw some neat lights. They had water that was vibrated so much that it ionized into the air in a mist. Very pretty and safe. One day.
We went back to the mini-golf place. The clubs were covered in glowing tape, the girls and Rob each got a glow-bracelet. There was a black light in the front of each hole that you ran your ball through to 'charge' its glow. Every ahole has lined with floresent colors. The walls were covered with glowing animals. The obstacles all glowed. Pretty neat. The girls loved it. At the last hole, there was a trick hole. If you made your ball into it, the lady gave you a free flash pen to wear. Rob won 3. The girls thought that was so neat. Plus, it was cheap and they let you play twice. The only thing I found was that after so long being in there, it got a bit disorienting. The first round those guys played, my mom chased Remy around the mall while Remy window shopped. The second round, she spent her time trying to swipe Robs ball. It was fun. Then we went home and played the rest of the day. My folks came by later with Robs present. A different bike than he had picked. My dad was trying to find one in a box not so beat up and discovered this other one. Works out. This one is much nicer and Rob prefers it. They put it together and everyone tried it out. Even the girls. It was late by the time we got them to bed. Well, late for them. After 9. Of course they were up bright and early this morning. *YAWN*.
Oh, and on Tuesday, I went to see Doc Berg for my baby check-up. He could not hear the heart. He had a portable ultrasound brought in. He found the tiny critter. It was moving. Just couldn't hear the heart. I was a bit bummed out. Now I get to wait an entire month before I get too.
That is about it. Now I am in that quandry. The girls seem to feel better and it seems to be a nice day out. Do I risk us going out to play, or keep us cooped up for another day. I guess we shall see.
Thank-you for visiting us. Please sign the guest-book. We love reading the entries you leave! If you get a chance, please visit other kids and say hello. They love visitors as well. For updated info on what is going on with other kids, Gooches is a good place to visit. Kody has a neat Christmas page with fun stuff to do. Just click on his stocking. MIchelle needs a lot of prayers right now. Katia is still in the hospital. Thre are alos many kids off of treatment or almost off of treatment that still love visitors. Like Gemma, Cameron, Jackie, Gooch, Jeremy, Sammi, along with a few others.
Okay, there are a ton of kids. Ones who are still on treamtent. Those who are in the hospital or at home on hospice. Etc. So, just please visit who you can when you can. Even the Angel pages. Many of these families are really hurting. The holidays are very hard on them. I can not even imagine.
Thank-you.
Here is a neat poem that I recieved in my e-mail. IT was sent to me by Sandra. I figured I would share it here.
Have a YIPPEE Day.

T'WAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS, HE LIVED ALL ALONE,
>
>IN A ONE BEDROOM HOUSE, MADE OF PLASTER AND STONE.
>
>I HAD COME DOWN THE CHIMNEY, WITH PRESENTS TO GIVE,
>
>AND TO SEE JUST WHO, IN THIS HOME, DID LIVE.
>
>I LOOKED ALL ABOUT, A STRANGE SIGHT I DID SEE,
>
>NO TINSEL, NO PRESENTS, NOT EVEN A TREE.
>
>NO STOCKING BY MANTLE, JUST BOOTS FILLED WITH SAND,
>
>ON THE WALL HUNG PICTURES, OF FAR DISTANT LANDS.
>
>WITH MEDALS AND BADGES, AWARDS OF ALL KINDS,
>
>A SOBER THOUGHT, CAME INTO MY MIND.
>
>FOR THIS HOUSE WAS DIFFERENT, IT WAS DARK AND DREARY,
>
>I FOUND THE HOME OF A SOLDIER, ONCE I COULD SEE CLEARLY.
>
>THE SOLDIER LAY SLEEPING, SILENT, ALONE,
>
>CURLED UP ON THE FLOOR, IN THIS ONE BEDROOM HOME.
>
>THE FACE WAS SO GENTLE, THE ROOM IN DISORDER,
>
>NOT EXACTLY HOW I PICTURED A SOLDIER.
>
>WAS THIS THE HERO, OF WHOM I'D JUST READ?
>
>CURLED UP ON A PONCHO, THE FLOOR FOR A BED?
>
>I REALIZED THE FAMILIES, THAT I SAW THIS NIGHT,
>
>OWED THEIR LIVES TO THESE SOLDIERS, WHO WERE WILLING TO FIGHT.
>
>SOON ROUND THE WORLD, THE CHILDREN WOULD PLAY,
>
>AND GROWNUPS WOULD CELEBRATE, A BRIGHT CHRISTMAS DAY.
>
>THEY ALL ENJOYED FREEDOM, EACH MONTH OF THE YEAR,
>
>BECAUSE OF SOLDIERS, LIKE THE ONE LYING HERE.
>
>I COULDN'T HELP BUT WONDER, HOW MANY LAY ALONE,
>
>ON A COLD CHRISTMAS EVE, IN A LAND FAR FROM HOME.
>
>THE VERY THOUGHT BROUGHT, A TEAR TO MY EYE,
>
>I DROPPED TO MY KNEES, AND STARTED TO CRY.
>
>THE SOLDIER AWAKENED, AND I HEARD A ROUGH VOICE,
>
>"SANTA DON'T CRY, THIS LIFE IS MY CHOICE;
>
>I FIGHT FOR FREEDOM, I DON'T ASK FOR MORE,
>
>MY LIFE IS MY GOD, MY COUNTRY, MY CORPS."
>
>THE SOLDIER ROLLED OVER, AND DRIFTED TO SLEEP,
>
>I COULDN'T CONTROL IT, I CONTINUED TO WEEP.
>
>I KEPT WATCH FOR HOURS, SO SILENT AND STILL,
>
>AND WE BOTH SHIVERED, FROM THE COLD NIGHT'S CHILL.
>
>I DIDN'T WANT TO LEAVE, ON THAT COLD, DARK, NIGHT,
>
>THIS GUARDIAN OF HONOUR, SO WILLING TO FIGHT.
>
>THEN THE SOLDIER ROLLED OVER, WITH A VOICE SOFT AND PURE,
>
>SAID "CARRY ON SANTA, IT'S CHRISTMAS DAY, ALL IS SECURE."
>
>ONE LOOK AT MY WATCH, AND I KNEW HE WAS RIGHT.
>
>"MERRY CHRISTMAS MY FRIEND, AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT."
>
>
>
>This poem was written by a Peacekeeping soldier
>
>stationed overseas. The following is his request. I think it is reasonable
>.
>
>PLEASE. Would you do me the kind favour of sending this to as many
>
>people as you can? Christmas will be coming soon and some credit is due
>
>to all of the service men and women for our being able to celebrate these
>festivities
>
>Let's try in this small way to pay a tiny bit of what we owe
>
>Make people stop and think of our heroes, living and dead, who sacrificed
>themselves for us.
>
>Please, do your small part to plant this small seed.

Wednesday, December 17, 2003 9:09 AM CST

Hello out there.
Well, Both girls colds are worse. Or maybe they are peaking. YOu know how sometimes you are really icky for a day and then it gets better? That is what I am hoping this is all about. No fevers so that is a big HUGE sigh of relief.
I had promised them that they could see Santa today. I hate to break promises, but maybe we won't. I guess I will see how the morning goes. If we do go, we will just do the minimum and come home. See, we are meeting my mom. She wants us to check out some stuff that she and my dad are considering for Christmas. And then she wants to take us all to lunch and then see Santa. Then shop. I think that we will just do everything but the shopping. But we will see how it progresses. Aizees counts are good and other than the cold stuff, they are happy. They want to go too. It is one of those play it by ear type of deals. Fingers crossed. If it was earlier in the month, I would put it off until next week. But Christmas is next week. And last year was such a mess. We almost did not even have a tree at our house or anything.
About the nut cases. Here is an example of how extreemly anal they are.
On the list of charges owed, they put stuff like this.
They want reimbusement for:
A box of Baking Soda in the fridge. New batteries in all the smoke detectors. They are charging us for blinds that ROBS mom bought when she came out to help out when I had surgery. She even has the reciept for these blinds. She is very efficient. They are charging us for a rock. A ROCK! A rock used for a doorstop. One of those weird rocks one can find hiking. I had put it outside because the kids liked to carry it around. I was afraid it would get dropped on someones head. I have no idea where it went. It was right on the deck. So, they are charging us like $100 for this rock! >:{.
I mean, our rent was $1350 a month. Park City and Heber are expensive to live in. So, that is just a tip of what they are being like. Along with loose doorknobs. Kids are rough on doors.
Anyway, just a big pain in our you know whats!

Other than that, things are going pretty good here.
I want to thank Aunt Ruth, Uncle Andy and Aunt Nancy, Nuni and Granddaddy for all the great presents. They are all under the tree and the girls have been really good about not opening them. The girls and I look at the calender every night and X off another day. Every morning Brianna counts the boxes without X's. She does that after asking if she could open them all TODAY! I tell her to count the un-marked boxes. That is how many days she has left to wait. She still askes if today is the day everyday. Can't blame a kid for trying to see if her parents have gone senile enough to get the goodies now.

For the freshest up-to date things going on with kids lately, Gooches page and Katia's both have a lot of info.
For goofy laughs, Jullianna's page is a hoot.
Please visit Michelle.
And thre are many kids almost off of treatment or off : Gemma, Jackie, Jeremy, Sammi, Gooch.
For fun Christmas stuff, check out Kody's page. There is a neat activity page there. Just click on the big red stocking.
Okay, all heck is breaking loose. There is a little revolt going on now. The kids want to go now. And I am sitting here dawdling. So, I guess I better go. :)
Thanks for visiting us and for signing the guest-book. We really appreciate it!
Please go visit others if you get a chance! The others also love stuff in their guest-books as well.
Thanks and have a YIPPEE DAY!

Monday, December 15, 2003 9:37 AM CST

Hi out there. I figure, well, the little re-vamp of Aizees page is not going to happen anytime soon. It seems that there is a connection between the on switch of the computer and my kids. I hit the switch, all heck breaks loose. As I am typing this, Aizee is 'bean my baby' in my arms. I am attempting to cradle this 30 pound 3 year old and type. She just decided she needed me to hold her the minute I started this update. Last night, it ws Remy who was very needy.
Remy has a cold now and Aizee woke-up with a bad cough. We played outside yesterday and it was windy, so that is probably what happend.
Other than that, things are going okay.
About the psycho landlords. We found out that this is somthing they do all of the time.
What happened was this. We had lived in a condo in ParkCity and it was great. Problem was, the Olympics were on the way and prices were going up. Plus, I needed my neck rebuilt. The condo was getting a bit small as well. We were planning on moving out of state a bit after the Olympics so we did not want to buy a house. Plus, the market was not the best for buying, especially with price gouging. We found a nice house and we rented it. With the option to buy. Well, the house was nice, but it did have some problems. Plus, the landlords. Not only did we discover quite a few fibs about the house, but they were a pain in the butt. They are the house obsessed type. The anal retintive neat white glove type. Who also did not have kids. Well, I had my surgery and found out I was pregnant with Remy. Long story.
So, Aizee was diagnosed in February. And after the Olympics, the resort Rob worked for, scammed all the profit and then dumped the food and beverage department. A lot of people lost their jobs. Including Rob and all of his staff. Anyway, desperate not to lose our health insurance, he took a much lower paying job. The economy for the regualr worker basically was ruined due to the Olympics. The highest for bankruptcies in history. Etc. The politicians and land owners made bank, or at least broke even, almost everyone else lost out. Well, he ended up having to work two jobs. I was housebound with the girls since AIzee was seriously nuetropenic. Could not do yard work or any of that. Rob was almost everyday. And when he was home,he was exhausted. Plus, our relationship was awful at that time. Still not sure how we made it, but we did and I am VERY thankful that we did. We are much closer than ever before.
Anyway, the landlords would comer over and freak if things ere not up to their expectations. They even took it upon themselves to make it a point to do this. I am no slob, but yes, clean laundry would pile up on the chair, or toys would be cluttered around. But these people are the type who live in a completely sterile environment.
They freaked at the yard in the spring. Sorry I could not go out and always weed it or mow it. I was very pregnant at the time and a lot of that time, we were in the hospital. At least twice a month.
We also decided we did not want to buy the house. It was not what we wanted, and well, these people were so weird, I figured they would think that it was still their house even when it wasn't. Also, after all the crap, said and done, we really could not afford it anyway.
Then, they did sell it. We got a 3 day notice to move out. Okay, 5 people in 3 days. We did it in 5. Thankfully this house was availiable. Ironically enough, this house that we now live in is one we looked at prior to the nut cases house.
We got settled in and going along with life. Aizee ended up in the hospital after we moved. We were forced to move in the winter, freezing tempatures. Between Rob working and us and friends making several trips back and forth. That was fun. Me and 3 kids driving 30 minutes back and forth hauling stuff. My folks took a day off to help us move all of the big stuff. And another day or so to help with the back and forth trips. So, Aizee got very sick. Since my mom was working at the time, I had no choice but to always take the kids with me everytime we went. All the while the crazies are telling us they were going to throw everything away. Plus, our neighbor who is the best friend was right there as well. ANyway, we got settled here and after about 2 weeks in the hospital with Aizee fight ing RSV turned to phnemonia, we got on with life. Well, the sale of the house fell through. Who did the psychos blame? Us. So, the are trying to sue us. Even our attorney says these people are off their nuts. That they have nothing better to do than to harrass people. And, he found out that this is how they operate. That they have done this before. Etc. Great. I find it to be one huge annoyance and wish they would find a new hobby.
I guess the reason that they moved out of " This much beloved house" is because their dogs killed other dogs in the neighborhood and the people had a real problem with that. So, they were ordered to either destroy the dogs or move out of the county. They told us they were tired of the commute to work. I should have realized htat somthing was up when her own sister, who is a realator refused to have anything to do with this house. Also, they wanted to sell the house for 20+. When there was a brandnew one across the street for half of that. Anyway, that is what we have been dealing with. We have a great landlord now and though the house has it's oddities, I much prefer it here than there!
Okay, that's my icky tale of crap. Aizees cough is getting worse, but no temp. Remys nose is keeping me busy too.
Thanks for visiting us. Please go visit others if you get a chance. Please remember to sign the guest-books. Thanks.
Please go visit Michelle
Along with so many others. Thanks. Have a Yippee day.

Thursday, December 11, 2003 10:06 PM CST

At 5:35, December 11, 2003, Davin Rucker became an Angel. Please visit his page and give your sympathy and support to this hurting family. Thank-you.



Hello out there. Yes, I know I said I would re-do the page today, but it is late now and well, there is always tommorow.
I do want to tell all of you that there are positive stories of kids who are doing great. Some off of treatment and some Almost off of treatment. LIKE: Gemma, Sammi, Gooch, Jeremy, Jackie, Cameron. This list is not complete, but it is a start. All of their links can be found above. And though they are doing so well, does not mean that they no longer enjoy visits to their pages or HELLO'S in their guest-books. It helps to read the up-sides. Especially after you visit the really downsides.
The kids who are on hospice care. Nothing short of a miracle is going to help. These families need a lot of prayers and emotional support. Jacqui, her daughter Michelle. DavinRucker. For a more complete list, visit Gooches page.
Then there is the inbetween. The ones who have relapsed, are just undergoing a BMT, newly diagnosed, those not having an easy time of treatment, etc.
They would be Katia, Christina, Maxie, Conor, Erica, Jullianna.
I will try to re-do all of their links so then, they will be organized.

Today, Aizee's appointment went geat.

Let me start at the beggining. So, Rob has been sleeping on the couch. More comfortable for him. Plus, in the mornings, the girls all like to jump into bed. He figured he was safer recovering downstairs. I went to bed and did not set my clock. See, the hospital is an hour away. Plus, I needed to drop everyone off at my moms on the way. Her house is on the way, but it is 10 minute mountain drive there. I figured that Aizee always gets up around 5:30 or 6. I forgot that only happens when there is nothing going on and sleeping to about 8 is a desired thing. HEEHEE. Not today. I somehow snapped awake at 7. I had to wake them up! It was hard. Because they were sleeping SO well! The actual waking them up was easy. Just the not wanting too was hard. Got everyone up, fed and out the door. THe drop off, then Aizee and I off to the clinic.
It is easier now. She used to cry everytime we dropped her sisters off and she had to stay in the car. That made me feel like crap. Now she is like, " I go to the dokor, then gwamma's howse." Makes me feel better and sad at the same time. Better that she is now okay with it. Sad because, what a sad thing to be trained for.
Got to clinic. ON TIME! WOW!
She palyed in the play room. And we saw Julie. The Child Life lady. AKA the toy lady. Aizee wanted cars to take with her and Julie got them for her. Then she went out of her way to get a little track thing for Aizee to play with with the cars. Plus, she came and checked on us a few times. Julie is great. Actually, almost everyone there is great. Just, well, times like last month, things did not go great and I told Julie about it. I was afraid it would be like that again today, but it wasn't. Amazing what a difference it makes when you have a great nurse you get along with vs. one who is bossy and you really do not communicate well with. And, a doc who takes you seriously vs. one who seems to be too busy , or not really on the same page as you. Those two things are a big key to feeling more comfortable about what is going on.
Anyway, Then, at vitals time, she got the coolest stocking filled with fun Cat In the Hat treats. I sincerely appreciate the volunteers that take the time, and money, to put together these wonderful gifts.
This stocking had the original dvd CITH cartoon. A small stuffed CITH, Thing 1 and Thing 2 cookies. Colorful fish candies. Shaped like the ones found in Dr.Suess books. A CITH lolipop. Card games, holiday nerds candies. A new toothbrush and toothpaste. Appropriate I say after all of that candy! Oh, and a CITH tube of Reeses Peanut Butter Cups. The hat on the tube had a tiny slide show built into it. And there is more, but well, you get the idea.
Her vitals were great. Then off to our room. I was distracted by her and her enjoying her gifts that I had forgotten the Emla. Until Dan came in. He was like " How's it going?" And I said OH CRAP! and jumped up. He laughed and said that good huh? I told him I had forgotten her emla. It was no problem. He would just come back.
So, then, AIzee wanted to snuggle down and watch her new movie. She was all excited. I felt bad because the t.v.combos in the rooms only have vhs option. She was sad, but got over it. We got a medical student come in. I find this frustrating at times. I don't mind it all of the time. But, Come on. All you out there who deal with teaching hospitals know how old it gets to tell the same tale over and over and over. Especially to one that seems very, um, introverted. Seemed nice enough, just our communication had trouble flowing smoothly.
But, he was great with Aizee. In fact, she totally cooperated. Even said "AAAAHH" when she stuck out her tounge. That is the first time she has ever done that.
I requested Dr. Barnett. YAY.
He came in and he is so happy-go-lucky. Aizee chatted away at him and he listened to every word.
I asked him about her hair loss. This time, I came prepared with pictures. To show the difference between October and now. I told him I just needed to know what was going on. He explained one possiabilty. Hair has a life cycle. In a normal person, hair gets old and falls out, but there is always hair growing to replace it. But, in some chemo kids, the cycles are all at once. The hair grows all at once, just to fall out. TO grow again. THe cycle is not a complete ongoing cycle. It is one or the other. Makes sense. A lot better than the half assed answer I got before. He said if it continues to come out with no new hair for a few more months, he will get concerned and look more into it. I pointed out her bumpy, non-itchy rash too. He made sure her scalp looked okay. Because if it didn't, then that could mean somthing. He wanted to make sure the hair-loss and rash were not connected. The rash could be chemo related.
So, she checked out great. Cooperated fully with him. She has gotten so big. So grown-up. Makes me teary.
When Dr. Barnett was leaving, I gave him the Doctor instruction form from MACS. I told him when I had asked for a doctors sig and all of that last time, I got a bunch of BS in return. He took the papers and said he had no problem doing what it requested. He thought it was silly that I had such trouble last time. SEE! This is why Doc Barnett is such an awsome doc. Heck, I am not even sure I am spelling his name right. ( Sorry if I got it wrong )
But, he goes the extra mile. His people skills are A#1. And he is excellent with kids! Docs like him make dealing with this crap a heck of a lot easier!

AND! We met Jerm and his mom, Pam Harris. Their caringbridge link is above. I saw this lady in these zippy red shoes. Thinking, wow, I have shoes like that. I need to dig them out. ALong with my neat bowling shoes that I love to wear everywere. She looked at me and asked if I was Cheryl. Silly me had forgotten her name, but I knew Jeremy's name. I said yes! And yoiu are Jeremys mom right?
It was neat to meet someone who I met via these webpages.
She is a really nice lady. Her son is funny. I did not get to really meet him. He was busy with getting ready for his meds. Seemed like a cutie though. HI PAM!
She even went out of her way to tell us bye when they were leaving. We were in the pharmacy at that time waiting for Aizees meds to be filled.
Man, before that, poor Dan. He came in and took care of Aizee. She accessed great. But, while he was trying to do her vincristine, she started to wiggle around. That is not good. Her needle was not taped because it was a quick blood draw and meds,then a flush. So, she worried him by moving. I was surprised she moved around. Usually she is very still. She watched everything going in and out of the tubing as well. I know I will hear about what she thought in about a week. Then, the waiting game for counts. Her prelim anc was only 1000. Which is good. But, they wanted to make sure the final was not below 750. Because, then her meds would have to be on hold. So, we wandered around. She discoverd that the elevators right there are now painted with themes. One had a giant ocean theme. One had a hotair balloon theme. One was totally painted in life size elephants. The last one had a giant train theme. In and out of elevators in between people using them. Then hide-and-go-seek in the pharamacy. Then checking out the little world under glass and running with the train in the other reception area. FINALLY, got her counts. All in the good range. Final anc was 1200.
Yay. I took her to Wendy's for a treat. Then off to Grandma's. She watched her new movie there. Rob was resting. Brianna and Grandma made melt and mold chocolate suckers. Etc. Play, play, play. Dinner. Jammies, in car, come home. Where non of them wanted to go to bed easily. GRRR.
We are bein harrassed by a past land-lord. Thes people are a bit nuts. Even our attorneys think these people are a bit off of their nut. But, they enjoy harrassing us, so we have to deal with that. It is annoying. There are those out there who really have nothing better to do, or are so unhappy with thier own life that they feel this need to mess with others. Ohwell. I just wish they would go away.
Okay, I have gone on and on and on. Have not done that for a long while. Must be the exhaustion and the hormones. :b.
I get to see Doc Berg next week to hear the babies heart. And the full work-up shibang. I just hope this constant ill feeling would go away. I never had it before with the other 3, so who knows.
Thanks for visiting us. Please sign the book if even for a simple hello. If you could take a moment to visit others as well, we all appreciate our visitors. Thank-you for caring about us!
Have a Yippee day!

Tuesday, December 9, 2003 10:30 PM CST

Edited in at 8:30p.m. 12/10/03
Tommorow, when I up-date about Aizees appointment and stuff, I am going to try and redo some things on this page.
Like, remind everyone of the hopeful tales of kids off of treatment like Gemma and Sammi.
BUT, right now, there are some kids who are not going to make it and their families are in such pain. Davin Rucker and Michelle

And here is a fun place that was just created.EJ
Thanks.




HI out there. I am taking out the music for a bit. Apparently it could be causing some problems. We shall see if that is the cause.
Aizee is doing geat. Brianna too. Remy is getting like all of her teeth at once. She had four on top and two on the bottom. For months and months and months. I was going to ask Lesley, her pediatrician about that her next check-up. But, it appears they are all coming in at once. She even has two new molars that grew in over night! Wowzers! Go figure why she has been so grouchy.
Rob and I went to a friends Christmas party Saturday night. My folks came and watched the girls. He and I had more fun than we thought we would. So we stayed later than we thought we would. But that was okay. The girls were great for my folks. Monday, we got new snow. The girls and I took Rob to work, then we went to the store for some basic house stuff. I think we were the only ones in the store not shopping for Christmas. We were getting laundry detergent and stuff like that. We all got new toothbrushes. Amazing how much fun that is for the girls. And they each got a new little book. Then, we all played in the snow. Again. They love snow. For a bit. While they played, I tried to figure out what was wrong with the lights I had put up outside. I had to take down each strand seperatly and check them. Of course, the LAST set was the one that needed a new fuse! I have yet to put them back up. Hopefully tommorow.
SO, guess what everyone. Despite measures taken after the birth of Remy, Rob and I are happy to announce that we are having another baby. Which is a surprise, but a great one at that! As I type this, he is recovering from his very permanent proceedure done to guarantee that 4 is enough. :)
Along the way to the doctors, we drove past several tree lots. He wanted to get a tree after he was done. I said as long as he felt like it. Well, he came walking out of Doc Bergs office likeit was no big deal. He spotted the cutest tree on the way to the pharmacy to get his pain pills. It is like four feet tall and really full. It is perfect. Now I do not have to worry about the girls pulling it over on themselves. We have really high ceilings in this house. We could have gotten a 40 footer if we had wanted to. But why? This one is perfect. It is very pretty. I will eventually get my film developed.
Anyway, it fit in the back of the van and off to get Robs pain meds. And my sorbet. I had been craving Pineapple sorbet like crazy. Rob started hurting on the way home. We got there and my mom and the girls had had a blast. I got very busy. I needed to get Rob comfy along with cook dinner, oh, and our dishwasher drain is clogged so that added to it. Trim the bottom of the tree off, etc etc etc.
The girls ate fast and had a blast decorating the tree. Even Remy. It was a blast. A first here. More ornaments than tree. IT looks just beautiful! Then off to bed for everyone. Tended to Rob. And cleaned up the house. Had my sorbet. Now I am here telling all of you all of this.
I have yet to visit other kids today. So, I really have no idea how anyone is doing. I pray that all is well with everyone. The kids and their families. And all of you out there who visit us! Thank-you so much for doing so. And please sign the guest-book.
If you do get an extra minute or so, please visit others as well. For we all truely love visitors and reading the great entries in the books. Thank-you and have a Yippee day!
Aizees next Onc. clinic visit is this Thurs. At 10 a.m.
The closer to the end we get, the more anxiouse I get each visit. Weird, I know, but that old thing: So close, yet so far.

Thursday, December 4, 2003 9:13 AM CST

*****NEW PICTURES!!!!!*****************

Hi out there! Well, Aizee is back up to her IMPY self. Started it yesterday. We just played inside all morning. Then we went for a walk. Brianna is really into 'winning'!. When Rob is home, she gets to ride in one stroller and he pushes her while I push the other two in the double stroller. We cruise along to the post office....(Mary! Will get you that paperwork soon! I promise! Did you get the photos?)
But, halfway back turns into a race! "Hurry daddy! Hurry! I wanna win!" And she tries to excell the stroller by flinging herself back and forth. IT is funny. BUt yesterday it got really silly. There is a saftey strap on the double stoller. That loops from my wrist to the handlebar. Well, Brianna got close enough to grab that and try to pull herself faster with that. ROb is just walking along and not going fast enough for her, so she tries to do it herself. Then she grabbed the side of the stroller pulling herslef along the side. Rob and I were laughing so hard. Then Aizee gets into it. Leaning way forward yelling "Huwy Mommie! Huwy!" Then Remy starts to yell and go back and forth. And, while Brianna is trying to pull herself along, the strollers crash. Rob and I just stood there and laughed for a minute. Uh-OH Banana! You caused a wreck! She is like, KEEP GOING! Then, when we get to our road, both Aizee and Brianna want out of the stroller. Aizee got out first and ran down the road. Brianna runs after her yelling " Come back her Aizee! Stop!" Aizee yells "NO!" Of course, Brianna passed her. She has these longs legs. She got to the door first. "I win!" Aizee is next and she yells "ME TOO!"
It was great. Lunch, then rest. The entire time, the girls are wanting to go to Grandma's house. Finally, we fed them dinner, jammies and off the grandma's house. Oh, and Rob and I dressed up. Whoopie. When we got there, my dad gave us some cahs incase the party sucked and we wanted to see a movie instead. Said bye to the kids and away we went. To the Grand American Hotel. Talk about ritzy. Wowzers. Marble and gold everything. Even in the bathroom. Each stall was a room upon itself. Solid marble, miniature chandelliere in ach. Gold plated toilet paper dispenser. I was a little let down the toilet itself was not gold :b.
The courtyard was lovely. Very beautiful place. Boy, are we poor. Ohwell.
So, in the little Imperial Banquet hall, they had yummy desserts and ice cream. And a lot of stuffed shirts. We hung out with who Rob works with. I also met a lot of the house coaches and counselers that work there as well. Then, after an hour, we figured we'd head out. I called my mom to see if an 11 o'clock movie would be okay. I mean, getting out at that time. Remy was screaming bloody murder. Poor thing. Did fine until bedtime. So, we figured, we would go back into the party a little bit then just take-off. Catch a movie another night. OOPS. Got in, then could not really leave again. Because, the speeches began. And, we were in the direct line of sight of the Big Bosses. Couldn't just inconspicuously sneak out then. And boy, these speeches. On and on and on. We didn't win any door prizes, but we got a $50 dollar box of mixed nuts. Yummy. Finally got to leave. If i had known we were going to be stuck like that, we should have left the time we went out in the first place. Then, we could not find our car in the laybrinth of the parking garage.
Finally got in and out of there. Off to get the girls. Remy had finally crashed out and the other two as well. Looked through our new photos, loaded up the crashed kids and home. To bed. Rob stayed up to watch our new Pirates movie that my folks got him. I went to bed. Now I am here telling you all about it. So, there you go. :)
Thank-you for visitng us. Please sign the guest-book. Thanks. And, if you get a few extra moments, please go visit other kids, even an Angel family or two. For we all love visitors very much and appreciate it.
Have a YIPPEE Day!

Wednesday, December 3, 2003 9:21 AM CST

Hello out there. Please go visit Michelle Sabrina They have had a really rough time of it and they really need as much support and comfort as you can give. Thanks.
I know there are others. If you get a chance, please go visit other kids when you can. Thank-you.
So, lets see. Got up all the Christmas lights and stuff. That is always a great adventure with the help of 3 little girls. What fun! :) This was Monday. That evening, I figured I would get them all put up outside as well. So, I dressed everyone in their snow clothes to play in the mush outside. NO new snow and the old snow is melting. A nice mushy muddy mess outside. They thought it was fun and I got my lights up. Or, was that Sunday? Can't remember. Because both days were basically the same. A lot of havok and mess. Fun though. Rob was off yesterday. I was playing with the kids and he did all of my list of chores I had set for myself. THANK-YOU HONEY! He is full of surprises like that. He put all the laundry away as well. Which means it will be a bit of an adventure to find the other half of outfitts, but it was so sweet of him to do.
We all went out later and played in the mud. They love to play chase. So, that is what we did.
This morning though, Aizee has been off. She almost always wakes-up at 5:30 a.m.. She did that this morning. But she was crying. She wanted to go down and lay on the couch. And she needed me to carry her. That right there is off. She usually gets up and just goes down. And then we hear her yelling for her t.v. to be turned on. OR Brianna comes n and tells us they are going downstairs.
So, I carried her down and layed her down. Rob was up and sent me back to bed. He told me later that she had fallen right to sleep. That is weird. Usually she lays there for like 5 minutes and then she is up torturing the kittens or somthing. Then, even after she woke-up, she just layed there. Then she started to chat a little. She got up and chased her kitty. Just to go an lay right back down on her chaise lounge. She had had a slight temp, but it is gone now. So, that is our plan for the day. Just keeping an eye on her. It is just so unlike her to be still. And quiet. I don't like it.
If she seems to feel better later, we are planning on going to Robs work party. A bunch of anal stuffed shirt type, but it could be fun. The parties they had at the resort were such a riot. IT is a big change. The last party we went to was pretty uptight. We shall see.
OThere than that, we are just doing what we do best. Having fun and stuff. :)
Hope you do to. Thanks for visiting us. Please sign the guest-book.
Have a YIPPEE day!

Sunday, November 30, 2003 9:46 AM CST

Hello out there. Before I get into another adventure of the twerps....
Please visit Davin's Page

They just got some sad news. They could really use all the support that any of you have to offer. There are so many kids! Jayden Has relapsed. The list goes on. There are links to other kids on other pages. Whoever you can visit, they really appreciate it. We do to. So Thank-you!

Yesterday, we went to my folks and went sledding. It was a blast. Up and down the hill. Each girl has their own little red rocket sled. Aizee was a hoot. As soon as the sled started down the hill, she would get all excited and freak, throwing her arms and legs into the air, causing the sled to go all over the place. And crash into a mound of powder. It was fun. Brianna loved to zip right along. Remy ran up and down the driveway. And my mom gave her rides in her little sled. All of us had fun. Then, we went in and had lunch, and played the rest of the day. Oh, my mom has like a 5 foot tall singing and dancing Santa. Brianna loves that Santa and was thrilled to see him when she went in. Remy though, stood stalk still and just stared. Eventually, she realized it was okay to ignore him. My mom also has electronic bears. They stand and move their hands and heads. I remember when Brianna was as tall as they were. Remy is that size now. Aizee was always too sick to care much at 18 months. But, now, she is into it. It is strange though that there are these huge gaps. I can see Remy and Remember Brianna. And think, wait,where was Aizee? And then remember, oh, ya. She was huddled under a blanket on a chair. Or sleeping. Or barfing. Or somthing. Not going up to the bears to kiss a nose or to try and steal the bears pocket watch. It is bittersweet.
That is how it goes. Now she is doing fine. This morning she wanted to go back to Grandma's to see Christmas. So, that prompted Rob to get out all of our Christmas stuff. So, my day has been set for me.
Along with deflating our inflateable climbing things. The seams are coming apart again. So, they really do not hold their air that long anymore. It is a manufactuers deffect. So, once those are gone, Rob and I are going to thouroughly clean out that room and set it up as a second play room. Or, possiably as the main play-room. We shall see.
Other than that all going on, and being stalked by crazy ex-landlords, everything is going great.
Thank-you for visitng us. Please sign the guest-book. If even for a simple hello. Have a YIPPEE DAY!

Friday, November 28, 2003 9:14 AM CST

Hello out there. I hope everyone had a Great Thanksgiving.
I read a ton of pages the other day. It is sad how many families no longer have their child here. The holidays are especially rough. If you do get a chance, please visit some Angel pages. I know it really is hard. But the families are still here and still need to be reached out to.
Also, several kids in the hospital. A few found out they are relapsed. Cancer has no care for when or where. It is the holidays that really makes it that much more difficult. Well, it is difficult all times, but the holidays are most centerd around family togetherness and stuff like that. I'll stop that there. Just please stop by and leave a word or two to who you can. There are many others in the Quilt Index as well.

Well, lets see, Wednsday, woke-up to a fun blizzard. A ton of new, fresh snow. We all had a blast playing outside in it. I even gave wagon rides. HA! Pulling a little wheeled wagon through a few feet of fresh powder. That was interesting. The girls thought it was great. Even Remy played a long time. I love fresh snow.
Our Thanksgiving was fun. It is the same every year. Rob works and the girls and I go to my folks. Then I go and get Rob later. The Whilmonts come every year. They used to bring their grouchy little dog, Khalua, but not the last few years. It is not a dog that really likes kids. They are nice people. Remy had fun bossing around new adults.
My mom got the girls Sparkling Apple Cider and their own little wine glasses. They thought that was neat. Aizee actually ate a bit. YAY!
So, the girls just played all day. We all pigged out. Then the kids played more. That is about it. It was a fun day. Especially since I am not the one doing all the cooking. HEEHEE. I just am in charge of my kids and eating.
This morning, Aizee decided to get up at 4 this morning. She wanted to go downstairs and sleep on the couch. She kept yelling. So, Rob got up before I could. He came back to bed because Aizee had fallen back to sleep. Then, she woke-up again at 5:30. This time I got up and we went downstairs. Talk about a blury morning. I went to bed by 9:30 too. Then Brianna got up. We all watched Mr. Rodgers. Then Remy got up. This weening is a bitch. Sorry, but it is. She is the hardest out of all 3. Brianna was a piece 'o cake. She only got really upset when I finally cut out the bed-time boob. Aizee really had no choice. Cold turkey literally. Because I had had neck surgery. And the meds they gave me made it painful to nurse. Well, I gradually cut down quick. She was a bit upset, but she got over it. I still feel bad about that.
Remy though, MAN!
So, that is about it for now. There are 3 little women here needing this and that and I keep doing this or that. This may be getting disjointed.
So, thanks for visiting us. Please sign the guest-book if you would. If even to say hi!
Have a YIPPEE day!

Tuesday, November 25, 2003 5:14 PM CST

We want to wish everyone out there a wonderful Thanksgiving.
Hope it is a wonderful day.
Have a Yippee day.

Sunday, November 23, 2003 9:35 AM CST

It is with a heavy heart to inform you that Noah Jay has grown his wings. The way Katia's mom put it makes a lot of sense to me.
Please go give this broken family prayers and support.

Well, let's see. Aizee is potty training and it is going quite well! Pretty soon no more diapers!
It is FREEZING here. So much so that the river has frozen. Must be mighty cold to freeze running water.
Even if Aizee did not have a slight fever, we would be staying inside!
We went to my folks on Friday and I slept all day. ANd felt much better. The girls and my mom did a lot of fun projects. We went back yesterday and my dad was sick and stayed in bed all day. We did more art projects and built a big tent and things. I needed to get some groceries, so my mom watched them a bit. Boy, talk about the stores being a mess this time of year!
Brianna is really great at fun gluing projects. Aizee is good at building things. Remy is good at fit throwing and being a little stinker. :) BIG HEARTS! These three kids are my life!
Thank-yoiu for visitng us. I hope you have a wonderful day. Please sign the guest-book and then go visit other kids if you can. Thanks.
Have a Yippee day.

Friday, November 21, 2003 10:09 AM CST

Hello out there. It has been busy the last few days.
Right now I am desperately trying to fight off a migrain. I feel so sick, is is not fun. Plus reading is hard right now.
Rob has a new temp lense until next week. Then the swelling in his eyes should be down and they can get a more accurate reading for his glasses. He was so happy to be able to see again on Wednsday. I hate feeling so helpless. Not knowing what to do or say that can comfort or reassure him. He is doing just fine now.
Yesterday was quite the day. Taking 3 little girls to the vets to see about Taz. Who was a mess and we did not know what had happend to him or if he would live.
So, these animal examination rooms have really high ceilings. There is o large middle counter for pet exams. Then another counter in the corner with the sink and stuff. Sharp corners on all edges. Okay, I had carried in the Kennel for Taz. I had set it on the counter, but moved it for when the vet came in. I bonked Brianna with it. :( Then, while waiting for the vet to come in, the girls are running around and around the counter. Actually, I was busy trying to block all the cupboards to prevent Remy from opening them. Then, as Aizee ran around one of the corners, she hit her head right on that edge. OUCH! I got them all to sit on the floor and started singing songs. All was going well. Then Remy got up and went to the door. There are windows cut into the door at dog height. She must have seen somthing out there. She tripped on Briannas feet and hit face first into the window. MAN! That started Aizee up again. She wanted to run around the counter some more. As she was running, she looked over her shoulder at me to see if I was going to chase her. She caught the back of her head on the counter corner. WHAT A MESS!!!! I mean, this was rediculous.
Finally the vet and his nurse came in to talk to me about Taz. Then they took him back out of the room to give him some more fluids and an antibiotic shot. The girls got so upset.
When the doc brought him back in, he had one of his techs take the girls so they could see the animals in back. So he could explain to me better about what had happened to Taz and the treatments I need to do at home. What a hectic time. Finally got everyone in the car and home. Later, after lunch, while the girls were brushing their teeth before rest time, Aizee was dinking around and hit her head on the doorknob. What a day!
Luckily the evening was much better.
Now I feel like crap today. No fun. But, everyone else seems to be feeling fine and that is a great thing!
Thanks for visiting us. Please sign the guest-book. If you get a chance, please visit other kids! Thanks.
Have a Yippee day.

Wednesday, November 19, 2003 9:42 AM CST

Heads-Up! Please let me know if the music here freezes your browser or is annoying. I want people to enjoy visiting here, not for it to be a difficult task. Thanks.

Hello out there. Well, yesterday was a mixed day. The girls and I dropped Rob off at the eye doc. I had them all bundled in their snow clothes and took them to a little park. It is a private park in a neighborhood I used to nanny in. That brought back some fun memories.
The girls had a blast. This little park is right next to a small lake filled with ducks. We alterd between throwing snow into the lake, watching the critters and the playground stuff. The park had been restructured. I had not been there for 5 years. Everything was perfect size for Remy. She mostly ate snow. And sat on a slide. Brianna has gotten so big. She no longer needs me to push her on a swing. She can do the monkey bars alone. So independent! Aizee had fun pushing Remy on a swing. Remy loved that and yelled anytime Aizee walked away. After an hour, we drove back to the eye docs. Rob had on some funky dark shades. He was mostly blind the rest of the day and still today. His eyes have really deterioated. He gets to go back today for new temporary lenses. When the swelling of his corneas go down, he will go back next week to get a more accurate reading for new glasses. And a set of really special contacts to wear when he wants to. I guess this last set did not allow enough oxygen into his eyes and they got really swollen. He had changed docs this time as well. He likes this one a lot more. Plus, she is more thourough.
I have had to tolerate his bad 'blind' puns all day yesterday and still today. I guess they are his way of coping.
The girls are doing just great and it better stay that way!
Other than that, not much else to say.
Thank-you for visitng us. Please go visit others if you get a chance.
On Gooches page, there are a few links to kids who really need prayers right now.
Katia is doing great, Jackie as well. Jeremy is off of treatments. YAY.
There are so many and they all love visitors. Even if you just sign a hello in the guest-books. Thanks and have a YIPPEE day!

Tuesday, November 18, 2003 9:09 AM CST

Hey, heads up, does the music freeze up your browser? I would like to know if it causes anyone any troubles. I want this to be an interesting place to visit. Not a pain. So, please let me know. Thanks. :)
Hello out there. Another early morning. Today we are taking Rob to the eye doctor. He has a degenerative eye disease. Caratonicitis or somthing like that. It is when the cornea is an odd shape, and starts to gradually disintigrate. He was doing fine until Saturday when his right eye started to hurt. So, off to the eye doctor we go today. I hope they can do somthing to slow this down. He is not very thrilled with the pros[ect of losing his vision. Heck, who would be. I hate the fact that I feel so helpless to my family. There is nothing I can do and it is frustrating.
Remy's new trick is to pick a movie from the kids movie case. I put it in, she watches it for like 7 minutes, then gets another, then another then another. I try to accomidate her, but after say the 4th one, I tell her no more. Then starts the giant fit. It seems to happen everytime I sit here at the computer. One sentence takes about 5 minutes now.
Yesterday was fun. And the day before. Saturday we went to my folks and they played and played. Sunday, it was blah out so, I cleaned-up the downstairs room which we have not been in since say April. Put air in the climbing stuff and let them have at it. I read a book. The Red Dragon By Harris. The movie was a bit freaky, but the book is more sad than anything.
Yesterday we went out and played. Remy actually did not yell, for too long anyway. Stayed out about an hour. Until her hands got cold. Then inside to do our usual trashing of the house.
Aizee asks to go for walks everyday. I miss our walks. There are no sidewalks anywhere around here. Just the gravel side of the road. That is hard to push a stroller through all the crud that accumilates there.
Other than Robs eye problems and stuff, we have been doing pretty well. NO news if we are moving or not. I doubt it. My positive attitude about that is no more. We are stuck here and that is that.
Katia is undergoing scans today. Christina is starting to get settled at home. Jackie is doing well.
There are a few kids who are in need of prayers. Their links are found on Gooches page. IF you could go visit him and check out all the neat stuff that his mom has on there. And the kids that she has listed. Abby and Cameron.
Actually, there are quite a few everywere that love visitors and need prayers. Thank-you for visiting us. Now please go visit them.
Have a YIPPEE day!

Sunday, November 16, 2003 9:28 AM CST

Hello out there!
I love " Finding Nemo"! That movie is so fun. Along with Shrek, Monters INC. and IceAge. I have also discoverd that the Veggie Tale shorties are fun too.
So, lets see, Friday, took the girls to my moms and went and found out I can not donated blood until I have been off of the pen for a week. I figured as much. The neat thing is now I have an 800 number I can call and get info right away about any blood drive going on with advance notice. Before, by the time I got ahold at anyone at the Red Cross office, I would not have enough notice to be able to plan to go. It was annoying. Also, I gave them caringbridge information. Who knows what will come of that.
That was Friday. Then the girls and I left my moms and came home and played.
Yesterday morning was a very early morning. About a 5:30a.m. wake-up call. When Aizee wakes-up that early, she makes it her mission to get everyone up along with her. It was a long morning. Then Brianna really wanted breakfast at grandma's house. She made it a huge issue. I called my mom and she said it was fine. Then, I had no cooperation from the twerps to get ready and go. So, by the time we reached their house, everyone was very hungry and grouchy. Pleasent morning. And, on ther way there, Aizee barfed and barfed. She has not done that for awhile. Her newest favorite thing has been green chocolate milk. That hershy syrup they made green? So, you can just imagine the mess. Poor thing.
Oh, and Brianna loves to help cook. That was entertaining. Then, after that adventure, she wanted to make cupcakes. My mom had bought her PowerPuff cup-cake things. That was another adventure. Played all day. I got Remy down for a nap and procceeded to watch terriable movies on the Sci-Fi channel.
Got home and bed. To be woken up again at a quarter to 6.
And watched Nemo. And here I am now telling you all about it.
It is grey and blah outside. The yard is a mess. Like the mess that happens in the spring. I am tired. I hope everyone agrees with me and we all go back to bed, like right now! :b
I hope all of you are doing well. Thanks for visiting us. Please visit others if you get a chance. Thanks.
Have a Yippee day!

Friday, November 14, 2003 9:24 AM CST

Hello out there. So, yesterday started with a blizzard. I took the girls out and we built our first snowman of the season. The snow prior was not proper snowman building material. I tell ya, it was one filthy snowman. See, we had had a few feet of snow in the yard. It melted. The new snow was only a few inches deep. In the rolling of the snow man body parts, it gathered quite the assortment of yard junk. Grass, dirt, mud. But, we got it made. I had taken a picture. It is not in the photo area yet. It is still residing in the camera. If I do ever put it on here, I'll give fair warning first.
It was fun to play outside yesterday. Even Remy stopped yelling and played. Until she did that manuver of taking off her mittens and getting mad because her hands got cold. Kids! Then off back inside to trash the house. I actually not only got a lot of laundry washed, I got it put away too! WOW!
Aizee seems to be doing fine. I have yet to hear from Kate about coming here to do a blood draw. I am going to call the nurse who said they'd put in that order to see what is going on.
I am supposed to go give blood today. I am not sure if I still can since I am on antibiotics and stuff. And, the number I have for the people running it says they are there running it. Does me a lot of good. I was going to call and ask. Guess I'll go with my original plan. Take my girls to my moms and go there. And tell them I had been sick and on meds. See what they say.
Remy has learned to kick a leg while walking. It is silly to watch. Oh, and what a temper this one has. Brianna pouts, Aizee screams, and Remy destroys the house. Quite the mix huh?
Actually Remy does that jump-up and down, throw oneself backward combo things. On her back, rolling around and thrashing about, yelling about the injustices being done. It is quite hysterical to witness this in action. Or, she flings everything off of the coffee table. There has been a lot of this going on since I am working on the weening thing. Poor thing. Poor me.
My mom got Aizee the Third Toaster Movie. It is on DVD. She sleeps with this box now. IT is a small box. And just the one. Instead of all 3! Those movies have a way of growing on you. We only have one DVD player. It is connected to Robs and my tv. So, if they decide to watch that movie, he and I end up in the playroom if we want to watch somthing else. Funny how these things work out.
Looks like more snow coming along today. Yay.
Oh, and these kittens are so sleep deprived. Anytime they settle down for a nap, they NEVER get one! They get dragged everywhere under the sky.
So, that's it for now. I read some guest-books last night.
Katia is doing well. Actually eating! YAY! Christina is home. That is taking some adjustment. There is a neat Poem on Kody's page. Ashley is doing well. So is Anna.
There is just a huge list.
Thank-you for visiting us and for the AWSOME entries in Aizees book. If you get a chance, please visit other children. Thank-you.
Have a YIPPEE Day! :)

Tuesday, November 11, 2003 6:59 PM CST

Hello out there.
First, I want to thank everyone for the encouraging Entries and E-mails. It means a lot!
Right now the girls are running rampamnt. As long as no one gets hurt, I am just going to let them for a minute.
Okay, so off to the docs we went this afternoon. Yep, all are positive with strep. THe doc figured Rob and I were probably most likely sick as well, though we do not have any signs, yet. We all get antibiotics. I told Rob that the next scripts for us girls was going to be diflucan.
Oh, and trying to figure out what medicine Remy might take was tricky. Smart me decided chewables would probably work. I thought that if she did not like them, I could crush them up and give them to her like how I do with Aizees meds. Nope. See, Remy is impossiable to give medication to. Once, when she had a very bad ear-infection, I was told to give her tylenol along with her med. Well, she would always spit it out. All of it. OR barf, or choke. So, I had to get her meds in supositories.
They do not make antibiotic suppositories. So, I called Dr. Lena Terry and told her I was a dink in thinking maybe Remy would eat the chewables, or even allow me to give them to her crushed. Even mixed with yummy stuff like pudding, or liquified in Sprite. The next plan is to have a higher concentrate liquid at a tiny dose. We will see.
Aizee shudders after each dose. But, she is such a champ. She takes it. No complaints. Brianna was thrilled. Hers is orange flavored. Amazing. She told me while we were in the car waithing for Rob to get the scripts that she wanted orange, and viola! Orange.
Rob and I just got pills. NO FUN! Why do the kids always get the yummy stuff? :b
Oh, and his interview went great. So, if it all works out, we may be heading to Vermont. The cost of living there is basically the same as here, but he will be making a lot more money. As it is now, the job he has is basically paying at povety level. I crave change, a fresh start. BUt, yes, I am also nervous. So, we shall see.
Okay, in two weeks, Kate should be coming here to do a blood draw to check counts. I was really upset about that, obviously, about her counts being low and the explanation made no sense. And, I do not want them to drop way low and not find out for a month. . So, Patty, her nurse yesterday said she would put in an order for that to be done. I hate confussion. And/or inconsistencies. I mean, it makes sense if her counts are high if she is fighting off some unnamed infection. But it is does not make sense for her counts to drop if her body is fighting off an actual infection. I mean, her body should react the same with a named infection or a no name brand variety of illness.

Nothing more on this end to really add at the moment. The girls have chilled out. Phwew! Thanks again for your support.:)
Right now, Erica is in the hospital due to low counts and fevers. Ashley is recovering from her brain tumor surgery. Her mother is also in the hospital.
I am going to go visit other pages now. As I find out things, I will edit it in here.
Thank-you for visiting us. And for visiting the many other children who are fighting so hard. All of us dearly appreciate each and everyone of you!
And, I love it that you spread the wonderful will of A YIPPEE DAY to those around you! It is just such a fun word!
Have a YIPPEE DAY! :)

Monday, November 10, 2003 9:18 PM CST

Okay, forewarning here. IT is I, being a bitchy grouch.

Long day today.
Don't you just LOVE it when you go to the clinic and see the people who are supposed to know what is going on with your kid and they don't? And they you get the feeling you are being bullshited? Or somthing? That was today. Nothing against anyone. Just, a lot of confussion added on our end. See, we have noticed Aizees hair is falling out again. I ask about that and NO answer to that. Who knows? Oh, but, don't worry about it. Sure it is no big deal. HER HAIR IS FALLING OUT AGAIN!!!! HELLO????
Why is this considered no big deal? Oh, she has been on the same protocol for months. Nothing has changed at all. But her hair is falling out. I was told it probably is not related to her ALL or the chemo. Okay, anyone out there who knows of a regular 3 year-old pattern baldness, please let me know.
So, her total ANC is 800. ANd her strep test is POSITIVE. Here is my confussion. There has been many months in a ROW, that her total ANC was in the 3000-5000 range. I was told this must be due to some obscure virus her body is fighting off. Blah blah blah. NO virus given, but it is there. So, her counts are that high for months. Here are the hoops set up for me. ANC for her should be between 1000 and 2000. So, when I am questioned why it is high, I always feel I am getting a lot of B.S.
So, today, it is confirmed she has STREP. A name and an illness. But her ANC is 800. Why so low I ask? Because she is fighting off an illness. Okay, but why is it low then because when it is high I am told this?
Forget the fact too that they practically refuse to give me copies of her counts. I ask for the papers and never get them. Nor do these people talk to her pediatricians. On the most part. So, why is her count low when fighting off an illness, that has a name and high for mysterious illnesses they can't find? Why all the run around? I am starting to feel VERY insecure here. All I would like to know is what is going on? Why did she eat so well during the HUGE amounts of awful chemo and now nothing? Hell, I do not even get a calander anymore. I had to figure out if she got DEx today. AND, okay, I got an offer from MACS to have her as a profiled child. Today I actually rememberd to talk to the docs about getting a paper about her. Diagnosis, time of diagnosis, prognosis with a signature. Talk about a mess!!! Has anyone else run into such BS? It was like I was asking about topsecret weapons info for the CIA. So, our social worker Kathy said she would look into it.
I am starting to HATE Priamary Childrens Hospital. I get the feeling that Aizee is just not sick enough to matter. They have to take care of her because it is the law, but since we are dirt poor and nothing sinsational, they really could give a shit less. Yes, the nurses are competent, so are the Doctors. But, I only really feel really secure with a Handful of the multitudes we are passed through. That is the MAjor Draw-back of a teaching hospital. Like I said, I believe they are all very competent. But, the old abage of too many cooks in the stew or some crap?
Too many people things get confussed.
Oh, and Aizee has this rash. I mentioned it before. It started on her hands this summer. The come and go thing. Now it is here to stay and more body parts have it. It is rough bumps all over her fingers and now wrists and ankles. No one has a clue. So Robin set it up for us to go to the Dermatology clinic. While in that play/waithing/room, she did come find us to tell us her strep-screen came back positive. That means no Methetrexate for 2 weeks. That is a whole nother stress-tizzy for me. I hate this medicine. BUT, I know it helps fight the evil trying to invade her. Two weeks is an awfully long time. So, the derm docs have no clue either. They were all nice though. What a happy-go-lucky bunch. To be a dermontalogy doc must mean to be constantly cheerful. So, we got new stuff to put on her. Loricaid or somthing.
Oh, and she got her vinc today. NO blood flashes to make sure her line was okay. And, her NG had a hole in it last night. That was a huge mess to discover. So, she had to endure a new one today. Just a whole bunch of unfun mess.
But, as usual, she handled it like a champ. Happy and smiling until the NG insertion. Then, after 10 minutes she was her Usual IMPY self. Can't keep this one down. Thank-you God.
My dad drove us because they thought I could not drive today. Whatever. And they had no idea how Aizee could get strep. I am not going to argue or anything.
Tommorrow though, we have the joy of taking Brianna and Remy in for screenings. Not going to do any good to have Aizee on Antibiotics if her sisters have a chance of having it as well. Plus, Rob has a job interview in the afternoon. Fingers crossed. I swear, we need to get out of here!
Thank-you for letting me rant and rave. But, I am still upset. I hate having all of these questions and no answers. The ones I turn to answers don't have any. But, I know the girls pediatritians care and I am going to talk to them about this mess tomorrow.
All I want is for AIzee to be okay. ALl I want is answers. As long as I KNOW what I am dealing with, I can much better deal with it. IF I am lost in the dark, then, well, it is scary.
THese docs and nurses are over worked. Maybe they just don't care. Well, they do. BUt maybe they think I am just overworring. But,that was the thought prior to her diagnosis. I just have this feeling and no one is giving me credit. I just hate this. I hate cancer.
I get wistful when I read about others. Their nurses and Docs read and sign their guest-books. No one here does that. I have given out her page. Who knows if anyone reads it. I don't unless you sign the book!!!
Okay, I will stop here. The valium is kicking in. Sorry for the rant. I will be sure to re-do this in the morning.
Please, visit other kids. Especially our new friend Jullianna. That is a fun place to go!
Christina is going home. There is a huge list. If you can, plese visit them. Thanks!
Have a yippee day.

Sunday, November 9, 2003 9:02 AM CST

Subject: wisdom of the innocent
> >
> >A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8
> >year-olds, "What does love mean?" The answers they got were broader and
> >deeper than anyone could have imagined. See what you think:
> >
> >1."When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint
> >her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time,
> >even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love." Rebecca - age 8
> >
> >2. "When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You
> >know that your name is safe in their mouth." Billy - age 4
> >
> >3. "Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving
> >cologne and they go out and smell each other." Karl - age 5
> >
> >4. "Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French
> >fries without making them give you any of theirs." Chrissy - age 6
> >
> >5."Love is what makes you smile when you're tired." Terri - age 6
> >
> >6. "Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip
> >before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK." Danny - age 5
> >
> >7. "Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of
> >kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and
> >Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss" Emily - age 8
> >
> >8. "Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening
> >presents and listen," Bobby - age 7
> >
> >9. "If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend
> >who you hate." Nikka - age 6
> >
> >10."There are two kinds of love. Our love and God's love. But God makes
> >both kinds of them." Jenny - age 8
> >
> >11. "Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it
> >everyday." Noelle - age 7
> >
> >12. "Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still
> >friends even after they know each other so well." Tommy - age 6
> >
> >13. "During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I
> >looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and
> >smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore." Cindy
> >- age 8
> >
> >14."My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don't see anyone else
> >kissing me to sleep at night." Clare - age 6
> >
> >15.Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken." Elaine -
> >age 5
> >
> >16."Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is
> >handsomer than Robert Redford." Chris - age 7
> >
> >17."Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him
> >alone all day." Mary Ann - age 4
> >
> >18."I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old
> >clothes and has to go out and buy new ones." Lauren - age 4
> >
> >19."When you love somebody your eyelashes go up and down and little
> >stars come out of you." Karen - age 7
> >
> >20."Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think
> >it's gross." Mark - age 6
> >
> >21."You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you
> >mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget." Jessica - age 8
> >
> >22. And the final one -- Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked
> >about a contest he was asked to judge. The purpose of the contest was to
> >find the most caring child. The winner was a four year old child whose
> >next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his
> >wife. Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old
> >gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there. When his
> >Mother asked him what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said,
> >"Nothing, I just helped him cry."
I thought was nice. So, I put it here for today.

Lets see, lately the girls have been playing 'airplane. They take ribbons and things and tie themselves to the kitchen chairs. They pretend they are flying to Give Kids The World. I am the stewardess. When they want a snack, the get cheerio's (peanuts) and a little cup of sprite. Oh, a GIANT teddy bear is daddy. And the equally GIANT pink Rabbit is me. They take turns holdong a little dolly pretending it is Remy. It is a lot of fun. And, amazingly enough, they are entertained for hours playing this. That is fine with me. They want to tie themselves up to the kitchen chairs? Who am I to argue with that?
Those little fishing, kitty toys I bought seem to be one of the smartest things I have bought. Almost all day the girls are entertained playing with those with their kittens. In between times playing 'airplane'. Must be the stops between flights! :b
It is cold and windy here today. It was nice and sunny yesterday.
We went to my folks house and did a bit of sledding. Remy , of course was mad. Seems that she liked the snow for one day. And that is it.
My parnets live in the mountains. We do as well, but not on a mountain like they do. It was fun. Thre was a time when Aizee and Brianna hit a bump and it popped both of them out of the sled. I went down a few times. They had a blast. UP and down the hill.
The neighbors invited the girls to go sledding there. So, we went over, to be informed that the boys had strep. So, well,then we went back. I felt really bad about that.
Aizee got a wonderful snowsuit. Just like Brianna's. Pink! Brianna has a purple one, Aizee has a pink one. All three got boots. And some fun stuff from a lady who is a friend of Nuni's. Books, some clothes and a soft puppy stuffed animal that Aizee loves! Thank-you Nuni's friend! Rob and I got new coats as well. Thank-you Nuni and Granddaddy for the wonderful winter things. We appreciate everything you do. More than words can ever express. Remy got fancy little mittens and a hat with feather trim. She gets mad anytime y ou put any of this stuff on her. She starts to yell the minute her boots go on. And she gets louder with each Item.
My dad took her down a little hill in her own little sled. She yelled the entire time.
I will get the snow suit photos on here eventually. Along with the Halloween ones.
I do have 3 new photos in the photo album.
A lot of noise happening now. THe kids realized I was typing and had to come in here and start fighting. Same thing happens when I am on the phone. YOu know, like Pavlovs dogs. They heard a bell and would drool. Kids are like that. They hear the phone ringing or the sound of typing and they decide they need to start screaming and fighting.
That's it for now folks. Thank-you for visiting us. Please sign the guest-book. Even if it is just to say hello.
If you get a chance, please visit another child or 3. All of these families, us included, enjoy our visitors.
Have a YIPPEE DAY!

Friday, November 7, 2003 10:18 PM CST

Hey out there. If you get a chance, please visit Jacqui. Her daughter is having a rough time of it. They are a very darling and strong family. I think they need an extra boost about now. Thanks.

So, Aizees next appointment is on Monday. She has an awful cold. She coughed all night last night. Kept gagging all night. But, woke-up happy! YAY for the small things.
Both she and Remy have bad colds. Brianna has the immune system that is unbeatable.
Okay, I am weird. That now makes me nervous. Yes, I am thrilled that she NEVER gets sick. I am so happy for her not to ever suffer. Yet, I have this odd nigle of fear. I can not explain it. HEr pediatrician reassured me that this odd fear of mine was normal. Okay, that is somthing I do not hear a lot. Normal. Whatever that is. As long as that is positive, I'll take it.
I desperately needed to buy house stuff. Like laundrey detergent and things like that. My original plan was to make it a fun thing with the girls and I. But, well, why tempt fate? This little cold Aizee has could turn into a hospital stay in seconds, if not handled right. That is what happend last time. DamnIT! Sorry. But, who else but a mom of a cancer kid thinks about the mortality dilema about a cold and shopping? It sucks. Can't just go and have a normal family thing. Those who visit and think this is no big deal. It is on several levels. One, think about how an adventure shopping is for kids! They love to go. Yes, they do get a bit cranky, depending. But, somthing that is so easily taken for granted by you is a huge event for us. There was an entire year that we literally had to stay house bound. The only people Aizee saw was us, her family. Her grandparents. Her home nurse Kate. Wendy on occasion. And the hospital staff. Kids at her age thrive on adventure. Different places, people, experiences. There were times when she saw Eduardo and his family. But only if her counts were good. Even a lot of those times, she was too ill to stay long on a visit, or they with us.
So, a trip to the local store is a big deal.
Then, well, do I keep them home? Or ask my mom if we can go there. I choose to take them there because I know they will listen to her better on her'home turf' so to say.
It worked. They were angels for my mom and I got my shopping done.
I got the girls little fishing rod type toys for their kitties. I had grabbed 3, but one must have fallen out of the cart before I reached the check-stand. Remy did not seem to mind. They had such a blast. All evening with these little toys. See, it is a plastic stick that has a thin elastic hanging down with kitty fun on the end. Brianna has feathers on hers. Aizee has tassles on hers. Both have little bells. I got Taz cat nip. He was high and happy. :) Aizee laughed and laughed. Her little laugh is a croak, thanks to the cold, but I was in tears to hear her so happy! It was so wonderful to hear her laugh like that! What a fun time.
I am still trying to get Remy not to pick up the kitties by there skin and fur. That has been the biggest challenge. Poor kitties. Oh, and having their food scattered everywhere.
I am sure there is more. I will write more later.
Oh, Christina gets to go home MOnday if all goes well. Of course her folks are really nervous. Please give them some support. Thanks.
There are so many kids. So many families. We all love the visits we get. Thank-you!
If you get a chance, please sign the Guest-Book and/or the map. We read them every morning.
Have A YIPPEE day! :)

Thursday, November 6, 2003 8:50 AM CST

Hello out there. It is c-c-c-c-c-o-o-o-o-l-l-l-l-d-d-d-d-d!
BRRR!
Well, lets see. The day before, we all played and played. Went outside and had fun. Except Remy. She realizes that the snow is not a lot of fun when you are a tiny person. Dressed-up as a big pink marshmellow. She gets mad and throws off her mittins! That'll show us! Silly kid!
We had a snowball fight. And attempted to make a snowman. The snow was night quite up to that task yet.
When we were inside, it was one of those no motivation to do anything at all days. Well, Rob was motivated a bit to put the laundrey away. THANK-YOU honey!
Me, I was a slacker. But, I made up for it yesterday. Did a few loads of laundrey, cleaned the bathroom. Cleaned-up the bedrooms. Rob went so far as to weed out old clothes from his stash. We did not go out at all yesterday. Remy is so congested! Poor baby. We played all day. So what else is new? They are so silly and fun.
This morning, Aizee woke-up with a cough too. Runny nose. Uh-oh! Somthing is going around. :(
Oh, we did not really qualify for the house I so wanted. I am sad, but I will get over it. I just am tired of this house. Full of mice! ICK!!!!! And dust. I hate dust!
Dust gets worse in the winter when I can not keep all of the windows open for air. I basically hibernate in the winter. Let me explain winters here. They usually start about October and go until June. There was a year that there was snow on the 4th of July.
This year was different. We had a hot summer! YAY. But hardley any rain. But the snow came very fast and furious.
I think winter wil get easier as the kids get older.
Brianna is so easy going. I mean, here she is all bundled up all snug and warm. And Remy is miserable. She does not complain when I make her come in. Too bad it just is not safe to let your kids play in the yard without someone always making sure no one tries to take them. We live off of a little country lane that connects to a main road. So, if I do let her stay out a bit longer, I stand in the doorway to keep an eye on her and her sisters. Makes it tricky.
Looks like maybe another day inside. Due to colds. I am so lucky that Brianna is so easy going for the most part.
AHG! Okay, I keep getting intterrupted while trying to do this. So, I am sure it is not making sense anymore. So, I will let you go. And hope to get around ot editting this later so it will be more readable!
Thanks for visiting us and signing the guest-book. We do appreciate it! Please go visit other kids if you get the chance. We all love visitors! Thanks and have a YIPPEE DAY!

Tuesday, November 4, 2003 9:11 AM CST

Hello out there. I am writing from inside of my igloo. Haha. It sure is cold enough. There is like about 3 feet of snow and counting outside. It is a whopping 38degrees outside right now. I have christmas tunes stuck in my head. A bit early for that I think.
Remy has a cold. All stuffed up. Her little nose is running away. Has a cough. Poor thing. Colds make me nervous now. I guess it will always be that way from now on. Instead of viewing it as a regular cold, of course my mind leaps ahead to thinking it could be some serious lung thing. That yet another child has some as of yet undiagnosed serious illness. I know that it is silly to think this way, but it can't always be prevented.
I am so tired. Aizee just makes sleeping hard. Her new thing has been to wake-up every hour for somthing or other. Like, for her lye (pacifier) So, at say 3a.m. I am bumbling around the playroom and living room looking for a little yellow or blue object. That is hard when your eyes are practically shut. Or her water or her milk. OR her tube is open. OR she needs to be covered back up. OR just 'cause. If she didn't try to wake up her sisters in the process, it would be a little less irritating. I will always be there for all 3 of them no matter what. BUt, I do not get enough sleep and neither does Aizee. She is a tired tyrant all day. Trying to talk to her about things like do not throw cat food, you get screamed at. OR raspberries. Then, it is like a switch has been thrown. She is her cute, lovable charming self. The teeter-totter ride is a hard one. I am hoping it is just a phase that she will get over soon.
The main thing lately is trying to teach them the proper care of kittens. They are not toys. They need their naps even if they do not think they should have one. Stuff like that. How the kitties would prefer to have them sit next to them and gently pet them rather than picking them up and carrying them every where. Especially since they carry only the top half with the lower half hanging down. Stuff like that.
Other than living like Penguines and stuff, we are all doing okay. As long as Remy's cold stays small and no one else gets it, then that would be just great.
I am off to make coffee. I am very bleary eyed this morning and I just realized that my train of thought just jumped its rails. So, I better go before I start to babble even more than I already do.
Thanks for visitng us. Thanks for signing the Guest-book. Even if all you say is Hello, that is okay. And very appreciated. If you get a chance, please go visit other kids who also greatly enjoy visitors. Thanks.
Have a YIPPEE day! Stay warm. :)

Sunday, November 2, 2003 10:12 PM CST

Hello out there! The announment of the kitties went great!
I kept waiting for Brianna to say somthing. I was suprised it took her so long. We got to my folks about 10:30 a.m.. Played. Had lunch. Went in the hottub. Then it was after that that Brianna was talking to my mom. It was so cute. She said "Grandma! I have somthing neat to tell you! We got two kitties!" Then proceeded to tell my mom all about them. My mom thought at first that she was talking about toys. And that Brianna was using her imagination. Then I asked her what she thought. Then she was like OH!
And was happy for us.
Brianna and Aizee had fun telling all about Blossom and what now seems to be Chester Fire Kitty. Which is their way of saying Cheshire! :)
It was a fun day. Other than Aizee having a freak out. It happens at times.
I hate not knowing is this her? Side effects? Emotional trauma due to all the hell she went through?
I see Remy, and realize at the age she is now, Aizee was that little when she was diagnosed. While Remy is now doing all this fun kid stuff, Aizee was in the hospital. Even out of the hospital, she was sick. I mean, her life was so completely different than her sisters. She didn't ever have the chance to explore and be 'free' like her sisters did. A big chunk gone. It makes me melonchaly. (sp?)No water play. A whole year basically hiding from the world. Fear of illness. Fear of her pic/then broviack getting wet. A lot of hovering over her due to fear of low platelets., or crit. Stuff like that that the 'average' parent never considers.
It is strange and sad and unbelievable all at once. Especially when I consider that we are the lucky ones. There are MANY, Too many kids out there who have lost their battles. Or are still battleing. Or have had their battles over with only to have to fight once again. Too much and it is no fun.
I just wish I knew why. Yes, I am impatient and I would like to know why NOW! If I had the reason, then coping with the loss of kids I have met via these pages, or reading the struggles of others, it could maybe be a bit more understandable. I doubt it would ever be acceptable. But, it may help make things a bit more bearable.
Yes, I have heard that God works in 'mysterious ways'. Fine and dandy. But lately, in any mystery novel I read, I skip to the last chapter to see how it ends. Then I go back and read. I wish I could do that with this.
Sorry I am going off a bit here. Just, when Aizee gets into one of her weird tizzys, I can't help but wonder.
My proffession was child care. The amin age I worked with was Infant II. To 3 year-olds. Infant II is the ages between one and 2. 2-3's was considered the toddler years. So, I know this is a bit different than typical childhood behaviour. I do not think ill of her or anything. Ut when she acts like she did and feaks out out of the blue, I just wonder. But, it will be okay. It will all work out and smooth over. And if it doesn't, ohwell. She is my precious child and I whole-heartedly adore her. I love my 3 girls more than life itself and am the most thankful that they are mine! NO MATTER WHAT!
Thank-you for visitng us. I hope everything is going well with you and yours. Thank-you for signing the guest-book. We love messages! :)
If you get a chance, please visit other children. I have added a few more a bit ago. I know that they would love to have you visit them too! Thanks.
Have a YIPPEE Day! :)

Sunday, November 2, 2003 9:17 AM CST

Hello out there! So, today is the day my folks will learn about the new kittens. Let the lectures begin. I mean, both of the parakeets aged and went away. Jeckle the Magpie got better and was released back into the world. The girls have wanted a pet of their own forever. So, these were free kittens. Next month, they will be old enough for their shots. They are both females so we don't need to worry about anything weird. Also, we got about half a year left before their first heat. as soon as that happens, off to get spade they go.
I mean, these kittens have brightend everyones day. The girls love to watch them play. They play as well with strings and their toys. They love to hold them and pet them. These kittens are very easy going. They cuddle and purr. They talk and the girls just love that! Those tiny meows are cute. Taz has gotten over being all miffed about it. Remy is funny. She chases them around with their food dish. Everytime they sit still, she puts the food in front of them. Oh, and she attempts to hand them her food during meal times. That is one thing that I am preventing. That and them getting up on the table. Ihave a little cup of water. So when they try and jump up, they get water flicked at them. They do not like that. They take off and the girls laugh. They'll learn that trying to get people food is not a good idea.
The main issue is the dogs. We have four. We have had these dogs even before kids. I got Fabien, my little balck, long-haired dashund in 1991. Gretal, my white springer-brittany spaniel mix when I was married before. In 1993.
Rob had Poncho. And for Christmas of our first year of marriage, I got him Kiwi. Things with them used to be much easier before Aizee got sick. Now, it has been difficult. We gave two of them away once, just to have them come back. My dad thinks I should just take them to the pound. How can I do that? I mean, it would feel like an absolute betrayal.
That is another reason why getting this house would be great. We could build a great area just for the dogs. ANd, a house with no stairs would be a bit easier having the dogs come in to. This house, they live downstairs in their own apartment. They have two wing back chairs with an ottoman. Plus a bean bag and blankets. They have their own half of the yard. This house has one flight of narrow stairs. And it is shaped weird in general. So I do not feel comfortable haveing them in here with the kids. Don't want any one getting tumbled down the stairs. This house that we REALLY want is a very open floor plan. Space. I love space. Space is a great thing when you have kids and pets.
Anyway, mitght as well get the lectures over with now.
Yesterday, they played lots in the snow. IT is hard to be a baby in the winter. The only mittens that fit Remy are little knit ones that get wet very easily. So her little hands get cold and she gets mad. So, I take her in and stay in the dorrway to keep an eye on her and her sisters who I let stay in the yard for a bit longer.
We all played Ring-Around the Rosies lots and lots. Dress-up and generally trashed the house. It was fun. Then we played the clean-up game. Me more than anywone else. :)
Right now the girls chose velvet 'rella's' (dresses) to wear. They are silly little girls that I absolutely ADORE!
I hope all of you are doing great. Thanks for visitng us. Thanks for signing the guest-book. Even if you have no idea what to say, just say HI! And that you were here. Anything else is great, but I'll take anything you want to leave~!
If you get a chance, please visit any of the other children I have linked above. I have added a few new names, and I know those kids would love a hello from you! Thanks.
Have a YIPPEE DAY!

Saturday, November 1, 2003 9:31 AM CST

Hello out there all of you candy stuffed visitors!
Man, what an event.
It has been snowing here for about 3 days now. So, lots of snow. I took the girls outside yesterday. Remy promptly fell face first into a snow drift. Boy, that did not go over well with her. She was MAD! I dried up her face and tried to get her back into playing. I needed to get a lot of the outside stuff into the garage. Good thing I did, or it would have all been completely buried a bit later. Remy yelled at me the entire time. Aizee and Brianna had a blast. Right before I made them come in, I gave them little bowls to fill with snow. And did they ever cram them full! After lunch, I attempted a rest time. I was dragging by that time. NO one slept, but they did sit still and quiet for a bit. That was great. See, when Aizee is overly tired, she loves to run around screaming. It keeps me edgy. It does not help that Remy is immitating her! So, Rob called about 2 to come get him. Came home and got ready for the Trick-or-Treating. I put like 3 layers of clothes under their costumes. My mom paid $30 for each Blossom costume. Talk about a rip-off! Chintzy things. BUt, they loved them, that is what counts. Remy looked adorable as a bug. Oh, and she is funny. I decided to go as my usual tiger. I had painted my face orange with a black nose and whiskers. Remy came up and just froze in the doorway. HEr eyes got really wide. Then she laughed. I had some black on my fingers, so I put spots on her face. Then, I took her into our room to show her herself in the full mirror. It was cute. At first, she just barely glanced at herself as she was walking away. Then she did such a classic double-take. And went right up to her little reflection to check herself out. We took pictures, but the film is still in the camera.
Then off we went through the white world of the blizzard. Got to the outlet mall right when the trick-or-treating started. Being one of the first families was great. We got a TON of candy. Everyone was impressed with how vocal they were saying "Trick-Or_Treat!" And saying thank-you right after. Everyone gushed over how adorable all 3 of them are. And lots of comments on Robs mask. I bought it a few years ago. IT is a big evil looking thing. Like a demon or somthing.
Remy did not say much, but she sure watched as things went into her bucket! Aizees costume was giving her hassles. It is impossiable to explain this costume. It has like a head piece in the shape of Blossoms orange hair with a bow on top. It fits over their head. Then it comes with these glasses things that are supposed to be over sized to look like the eyes. All of this was a bit big for Aizee head. Rob used an elastic to keep the goggle things on. But her hair kept falling back off of her head. And the goggle thigs kept sliding over her eyes. She didn't complain. She just kept her hand on her head to try and keep her hair in place. And she tilted her head back to try and look out from under her goggle things. Every few stores was a readjustment time. Brianna would jet ahead of us trying to get into all the stores as fast as she could. Those doors are heavy. I was afraid she was going to get herself closed in one. But luckily that did not happen.
On went the blizzard while we went store to store. Good thing the sidewalk has an awnig all the way around it.
We got done and loaded up into the van. Going home was tricky.
Oh, and why is it there are those people who go like 95 miles an hour in a storm, on curvy, narrow roads covered with ice? Especially big trucks. Not just the semis, but those extend cab thingys? What dinks. Sorry, but they are. Bad weather means slow down a bit. All Wheel Drive or even 4 wheel drive does not mean you are free to go as fast as you want and that you won't crash! GET A CLUE!
We were supposed to go to friends house but the weather was just too bad.
Finally got the girls to bed about 8:30 or so. That was not easy! I fell asleep watching the Halloween series. Crawled into bed when I woke-up downstairs about 3.
Then there is Aizee, up and yelling at 5:30 this morning. IT has to do with her little internal clock being thrown off. Does not help the tired grouchy ones. Aizee wakes up and yells all day. Brianna is a grouchy kid who likes to argue. Remy is fussy. Mommy and daddy are half awake, slugging down coffee trying to keep the peace.
I am going to throw them all into the snow here soon.
Other than all of this there is nothing else going on.
Oh, I love The History Channel by the way. Great shows! I learn the wildest stuff from watching that! :)
Have a YIPPEE day. Do not get sick from eating Loads of candy! And make sure to brush your teeth lots and lots!

Friday, October 31, 2003 10:01 AM CST

Oh, to explain the scary music, it is Halloween after all! What could be scarier than Brittany Spears? EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKK

My apologies to any fans who visit here.
HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!
So, my girls are SO excited, they decided to get up about 5:30 a.m.. And all they keep asking me all morning is if it is time to go yet. On top of that, it is a blizzard outside. Oh joy!
I was going to be my usual Tiger, but maybe I will just go as a tired Mommy. Forget the shower, keep the sweats on. Have a keg of coffee on hand. NO make-up needed to enhance the black circles, or blood-shot eyes.
It will be fun though. Because I say it will be!!!
Yesterday, we all went and played in the snow. Brianna's Nuni and Grandaddy sent her a really plush snowsuit for her birthday. Boy, she looked gorgeouse! And very snug. She LOVES that suit. Remy got to wear the giant pink, marshmellow suit. I had bought it for Aizee, right before she was diagnosed. Even prior to diagnosis, we did not go out a lot in the snow because after about 10 minutes, she would just sit and cry. Go figure why huh? Now we know why. But at the time, I was so baffled! I just figured she hated winter. That was hard because Brianna loves snow.
Anyway, now it is Remys. And she does look like a giant pink marshmellow! I took photos.
Aizee will be getting a new suit, as soon as we can afford it. I put on Brianna's old one, a hand-me down from her cousins! ( Thank-you so much Wally and Mary )
But, Aizees legs have sprouted! Plus, after all the use Brianna put into it last year, and the year before, there is not much use left in it! But, it will do for now.
It was fun yesterday. Of course Brianna dives right into the snow. Aizee does too. So, she does like winter.
Remy, stood there in the yard for a moment or two. Then she gets right to work checking out the new white world. It was fun. We finally went in when Rems nose turned a nice, bright cherry red. Talk about seeming like the end of the world was near. They did not want to come i, but I could tell that two of them were cold. If the red cheeks and noses did not give it away, the shivering did.
So, right after I do this, that is our plan for the morning. Going out and having a blast in the new snow. I am hoping they will cooperate with an early rest time. Say fat chance? But, I am going to try.
Oh, and Aizee has this new nasty thing. She likes to spit. On her sister. Drives me up a wall. Time-out in her room lots and lots. I explain to her that that is NOT okay. And if she does it, she will be in her room for 3 minutes at a time. I am hoping she will figure it out.
I have no idea where this came from, but it is obnoxious.
Remy is talking a lot. "Bup! Bup, bup!" means up up up.
"mommy" She repeated this one over and over quietly to herself until she had it right and then shouted it to me!
And "bee' means boo. She is so cute palying peek-a boo. She scrunches her eyes closed, and makes a scrunchy face, with her little hands on her face, then flings her arms out saying "BEE!"
Aizee has a lisp. It is cute to hear her. She is talking up a storm. And learning how to be bossy. Oh, and does she love her toes! That is all she walks on!

Tonight, Rob and I will have two Blossom PowerPuff Girls to escort around for candy, and one little LadyBug. In the snow. It will be memeorable! :)

I hope all of you out there have the most wonderful Halloween! Thanks for visiting us.
Have A ScaryYIPspookEE DAY! :)

Thursday, October 30, 2003 8:30 AM CST

Hello out there. WOW, talk about early rise and shine. About 5a.m. this morning.
Everyone is doing just ducky. It looks like snow today. Brianna is all excited to wear her lovely new snowsuit. Thank-you Nuni and Granddaddy!
Well, that is it for now. Thanks for visiting us.
Please visit others if you get the chance. Thanks.
Have a YIPPEE day. :)

Wednesday, October 29, 2003 10:40 AM CST

Hello out there.
So, Remy is a boobaholic. Well, she is also only 17 months. Trying to ween this kid has been a bit harder than the other two. One is, I was pregnant at the time of weening. So, it was a bit easier. Also, she is a bit fiestier and more demanding than the other two combined. Last, though, is since she is my last child, I am also not being as strict with it as I could be. Well, it will be done by the time she is 2. I refuse to nurse beyond then. That would be too weird.
Nothing much going on around here. I feel I am in a rut. Does not seem that we are going anywhere right now. NO new job, no new house. The weather has been rather blustery. Everything is just blah. Well, Aizees health is doing great, so that is wonderful. Actually, we have all been pretty healthy. So, no complaints there.
Other than the new kitties we got yesterday, everything else had stayd in the dulldroms.
YEs, we usually always ignore the 'free to a good home' signs. For some reason, we did not this time. Two new tiny tabbies. One is orange and white. Brianna named her Blossom. The other is a black and gray tabby. Aizee promptly name it Kitty! Later it was updated to Sheshire Kitty. They are adorable and the kids are in love. Taz, though is pretty miffed. I have been bribing him with tuna.
So, the kids are healthy and happy. This is good. I just get antsy at times. I am so sick of renting. And this house has too many mice and spiders. So, there is a good reason we have the new kitties. But still, I'd rather live in a less needing work place.
And, now that it has gotten so cold, I realize I am sick of living in the cold. But, it does not look like a relocation is going to happen. See, Rob gets a ton of offers. Has even interviewed at a ton of them. Everything looks great. Then the people decide it is too much hassle to relocate us. Even if they do not know about Aizees illness or anything else. It is getting rather old.
Ohwell. I am not sad, just blah.
I'll get out of this rut sometime. Just takes me a bit.
We are excited about Halloween though. In a few more days. Like we really need MORE candy. Oh my! We have SO much candy! I could open my own store!
Oh, and the easy bake stuff. I think the company should have just stuck with desserts. That is the only thing that has tasted good. The pretzles were not the most yummy thing you could eat. Even though we totally made a big deal over them saying WOW! Brianna, you made your own pretzles! How yummy, she tasted one and said we were nuts.
Daylight savings has also made the schedual a bit out of whack. The kids get up at say 5 now. And it is so hard to get them to bed. Because I am trying to get them used to the new time, I start the bedtime thing at 6:30. Which used to be 7:30. But, by the time the teeth are brushed and the stories read, it is about 7:30(8:30) and they seem to go off of their nut at that time for some reason. I do not want to get them into bed too early because then they will be getting up that much earlier! 4a.m.? YIKES!
It will just take a while for everything to adjust.
I just wish a great job would happen. There was an opening at a hotel in Florida, by GKTW. That would be great if Rob could get that one. Then we could do volunteer work there. That would be so wonderful!
Plus, Florida is warm. And Summer lives there. And, Debbie and Jason, and Craig could all come and visit whenever they come on vacation!
Either that or this house thing working out.
Okay, I am being a ninny. I admit it. But hey, that is me.
I am weird. I am thankful for everything we have. We could be so much worse off. Yet, I want different things. Not more, per say, just a change.
Thank-you for visitng us. I love reading the guest-book.
Please visit other kids when you get a chance. Thank-you to those who already do!
Oh, and prayers out to those in California. What a mess! Fire is not a good thing!
Have a YIPPEE DAY!

Oh, we did get pumpkins and carved them last night. That was an adventure. No longer can we just hack up a pumpkin. We let them draw the 'faces' on them and we cut them out. It was fun. Pumpkin guts everywhere because they really wanted to help get the seeds out. Rob cooked them up and they are yummy.
Right now Aizee and Banana are coloring the outsides of them with sharpies. Aizee has purple and Banana has green. Everytime Banana looks away, Aizees reaches over and snitches some purple on her Jack-o-lantern. Banana gets all uptight! Aizee just gives me her little Imp look. I must find a photo of this look. IT is hysterical.
OH! And last night, Remy proved what a fit thrower she can be! Now I know why this trick, that I had only heard about, works. My kid pulled this stunt and it scared the literal crap out of me!
See, the kitties were a bit shell-shoked yesterday, so we put them in our room so they could calm down a bit, then the girls could play with them. Remy chased me up the stairs. Got mad and went into her sisters room. I went into my room and closed the door so I could get the food and water and stuff arranged for the kitties. Remy was yelling outside of my door. Then it got very quiet. I thought Rob had come and got her. I open my door and Remy is in the hall. Slumped over facing the wall. I was wondering why she was in that position. I picked her up and her look showed me she was holding her breath, or had taken such a huge breath to yell, or somthing! My first thought was that she had shocked herself somehow, but all the outlets in that vacinity had the covers in place!
I rushed her downstairs all ready to call 911 when she snapped out of it. I was so terrified that I was shaking. My lower arms had gone numb. She started to yell right away! And was just fine. I held her for over an hour. I mean, I was just in the room for about 2 minutes tops.
So, I now think she held her breath due to being so mad. Oh, now I feel like 15 years-older. She better NEVER do that again.
I am so in for it!
Okay, that's enough of my babble.

Sunday, October 26, 2003 8:40 PM CST

Please do not forget our Angels. There are two new ones in Heaven. If you have not yet, please place a prayer, or some words of comfort in their guest-books. I know it is VERY hard. But the silence, for them is even harder. Thank-you.


Hey everyone. Yesterday went well. Gunnar and Anders could not make it. Their mom got pretty sick, so she had a friend come take the boys so she could rest. Plus, she was afraid they may have the bug and did not want to risk my kids getting sick. That was sweet of her. Brianna was a bit upset. I told her she would see them next weekend. She said "But it won't be my birthday then!" Well, that is how things go.
She got a lot of stuff. So did Aizee and Remy. My folks got Brianna a " Real Bake Easy Bake Oven" and Aizee the regular " Easy Bake Oven". That is what we did all morning was bake stuff with those little ovens. Cookies, little cakes and the frosting, mac and cheese. Aizee actually ate a lot of it. So, now maybe I got to think about doing a lot of easy baking huh? She really liked the little cookies that daddy helped her make. It was so cute. Watching Rob, and exec chef trying to figure out Easy Bake. He and Aizee had a lot of fun together. Brianna had fun too. Remy did not like any of it. She has deffinite opinions about things.
Oh, and this is yet another reason why we desperately need this house that I REALLY want. Counter space. This house has none. Or very little. So trying to do such projects is tricky. The house I REALLY want, has a big, open kitchen, with a large counter/bar. So, there is plenty of room. So everyone can move about without stepping on each other and the girls would have a bit more freedom to be a little more self-reliant with the things they want to do by themselves!
Oh, and there is storage places. That I do not need to worry about mice getting into. There is a huge closet with a lot of shelf space. So, when they are done with their ovens, or games like Hungry Hungry Hippo, Little Piggies, Candy Land, etc. I have the perfect closet to put those things away in. Right now I am the pile artist! The clutter organizer. And closet space! They would each have their own closet. And, Rob and I would have our own bathroom!
Okay, I'll get back on track. But it would be nice to have this house that I REALLY want.
It was a fun party. My folks had bought a heart-shaped pinata' with a picture of The Power Puff Girls on it. And was that thing ever stuffed with candy. I used to eat a lot of candy. But this last year or so, I really am not into it. Except Smarties. I guess that means somthing! :b I need all the help I can get in the brain department. Now, Rob and I do not need to buy Halloween candy. We are all set. Not like we will be here anyway. We go to the Outlet mall in ParkCity. Go store to store with a ton of other kids and parents. You get a ton of candy. Rob had to work last year. I could not take all 3 by myself. So, my folks babysat Remy. It was a lucky thing that Aizee could go last year.

Brianna Lillianna was born at 6:15 a.m. on Tuesday, October 27, 1998. She was 5lbs and 15oz. She had a tiny pathetic cry. She had a perfect curl off the top of her head. We watched her birth tape the other day. She had the funniest mad face when she was born. Squwaking and so MAD!
Brianna laughed as she watched herself as a newborn. Aizee was concerned. " Baby cwying Mommy! Baby sad!" And as she watched Brianna getting cleaned up, " MOMMY! That baby hurwt! That baby a mess!" I told her that that baby was Nana! " Not Nana! Nana wite there!" as she points to Brianna. Cute. Then she looked so puzzled." Mommy! Mommy on the movie! Mommy got the baby!" Her reactions were adorable. I remember showing Brianna tapes of her and Aizee as babies. I would tell her that baby is you. She would insist the baby was Aizee. It is hard on those little perceptions.
Oh, and Remy calls Brianna " Yaya".
She calls Aizee "zeze"
They are growing too fast. Amazing.
Oh, and Remy wears handme downs. She was wearing a tiny pair of jammies that I remember Aizee wearing at diagnosis. I was stunned. Aizee was that little when she got diagnosed with cancer. IT is still weird to me.
Thank-you for the kind words. Yes, it was a hard morning.
I have added a lot of new kids. In various places. So, if you get a chance, please meet them. Thanks for visiting us.
Tommorow, the 27th is several birthdays. Brianna Lillianna, Jackie and her twin sister, Brittany, and Debbie, one of my best friends. Imagine that. My baby was born on her birthday. She came to the hospital that night and held Brianna. I had a photo of her holding her, but I gave it to her. I do have the negative, but you know me and getting things like that done! :)
Thank-you so much for visiting us. Have A YIPPEE DAY! :)

Saturday, October 25, 2003 12:36 AM CDT

Please, pray. There are two new Angels that are gone from here.
Jamie and JayDog

I am crushed. This is too weird. How can kids get so sick? How can they spend much of their childhood fighting to live? This should not happen. IT is not right. It is not fair.
This sort of thing belongs in a horror novel or a movie. Not real life.
I am afraid to check any more pages right now. I will later. Today is Brianna's birthday party. Though her birthday is not until Monday.
Talk about searealistic. I mean, on one hand, we are celebrating the continuation of one life, and mourning the loss of others.
Should be another bad reality show. " When Worlds Collide "
Or some crap like that.
Sorry.

Oh, and last night, Rob and I went to see the re-make of The Texas ChainSaw Massacre.
I guess when your own life is pretty scary, why not go watch somthing even more freaky. Came out of the movie to a dead battery. Lovely. SOme nice people gave us a jump. Picked up the girls from my folks, put them to bed.
Thank-you for visiting us. Oh, and the bored housewife comment was a bad, sarcastic joke. But I do enjoy reading entries here. Thank-you very much for thinking of us and for visitng. Please, visit others as well. Especially the two families linked above. They really need a lot of support right now. Thanks and enjoy your day today.

Thursday, October 23, 2003 10:14 AM CDT

****I have added quite a few more kid links here. Obviously I have not made anything alphabetical order. But if you browse through and spot them, Please go an visit them. Thank-you!
Hello out there. There are two precious children growing their wings right now. Please visit JayDog and Jamie's Story Their families really need a lot of prayers and support right now.

Christina's blood pressure is still and issue and Katia's mommy and daddy are working so hard to find her a donor. Both of these pages have great info on how to become a donor. They too love visitors. Heck, we all do. Thanks for coming here. And if yo can, please visit another child or three. Thanks.

Aizee is doing great. But man, what a mood around here. The girls thought it would be a great idea to get up about 5:30 or so. And no amount of trying to keep them in bed any longer was working. So, why am I not suprised that they are cranky and getting on each others nerves?
Either they will nap great or go to bed easier. I am going for the nap. I need one! So, I plan on taking them for a really long walk! That should wear them out! Me too. Take an early nap and then get on with things. HAHA, like that would ever happen, but I always try. :)
It has been like summer here. 80 degree temps. I love it. So do they. They love wearing tiny dresses and I am letting them take full advantage of the unseasoned warm to do so. It is going to be hard on all of us when Mother Nature realizes that it ought to be freezing here now. Quick, someone distract her with some chocolate! :b
So, about the house. I am thinking no news is good news? The little money guy did say it could take a few days. Fingers crossed. I want to know either way. So, if it is a no, I can be sad and get it out of the way. If it is a yes, I want to pack right now!
Well, other than that and the weird turn of events in the ordering of Brianna's birthday cake, nothing going on.

Oh, that is an odd story. I call a local grocery store bakery for Brianna's birthday cake. She is having a PowerPuff girl theme. So, after two stores not having it, I find one that a lady says she could find a kit that has it. Okay, I order the cake, she takes my number incase they can not find what I wanted. So, she calls last night. Come to find out she is moonlighting from her job. Heck, she just costs 5 bucks extra. She is going to make it out of her house. I guess she is trying to get a personal bakery bussiness going. Alright, I am game, I will go along. I better get a cake though and it had better be good! We shall see on Saturday. She seemed nice enough though. fingers crossed.
Okay, that is enough babbleing. Please sign the guest-book. I love reading the entries everyday! Or e-mail. Whatever. Remember, I am a bored housewife who likes to read lots of stuff. :b
Take care and have a YIPPEE day!

Wednesday, October 22, 2003 10:36 AM CDT

Hello out there. So, this is my second try at an update here. Darn those exit exchange pop-up things. I went to x it out. Hit the wrong x and closed my original update before I could save it or anything. DER!
Nothing exciting here. The dogs chased a raccoon up a tree the other night. Right outside the girls room. It had cool blue glowing eyes. When it left in the morning, it snitced all the dog food. Serves them right I suppose.:)
Aizee is doing great. Being quite the Imp. Which is good. Now she has gotten into tantrums. That was a phase that was skipped when she got sick. I was hoping it would stay that way. NO such luck. Her lungs work very well.
We are working with a wahtever you call it... a go between that works with a lending company and the realtors to see what kind of deal if any that they can cut for us. I found the house I really want. It is just right for this family. Well, there are houses I REALLY want. But this one is one that is practical. Who needs 200 rooms anyway? :b
Anyway, it is good because I know what I want. IT is bad because I will be crushed if we do not get it. Ohwell, that won't be the first time now would it? Life is a big video game after all.
The weather has been just really strangly warm. So, we have taken one or two walks a day. To the post office and maybe to go look at houses.
Brianna is having her birthday party this Saturday, though her birthday is on Monday. 5! Wow!
Well, that is it for now. I had better go before I lose this page again!
Have a Yippee day!
Thank-you for visitng us. If you get a chance, please visit other children. We all love to find stuff in our guest-books!
*edit* please visit here
Jamies Story

Monday, October 20, 2003 10:38 AM CDT

Hey out there. NEW PHOTOS!
So, Aizees counts came back fine. Her total white is 5000. But it could be due to whatever is causing her to go SO much. It finally slowed down today. And no more vomitting for a few mornings now. That is a great thing.
Actually, she has perked up A LOT lately. Running around and being very busy. That is great.
We have been taking a lot of walks lately. Looking at stuff. Since it is a double stroller, Aizee and Remy get to ride and Brianna 'trudges along on her cruel march' as she puts it. She is so silly. Now lately, Aizee wants to help push. Brianna likes that. They trade back and forth. If we did not end up walking down such busy roads, I would even let them trade with Remy. That is not going to happen right now. Soon enough.
The weather has been very warm lately so we have been taking advantage of that. Another walk is planned for later.
We have been looking here and there and have been toying with the idea of maybe buying a house. We really want to get out of state. Have wanted to forever. But it looks like that is never going to happen. That makes me sad. So, I figure we need to try and make it work here since we can't get out. There is a sub divivsion going in and the prices are pretty reasonable. The key is to qualify. After all that has happened, obviously our credit is shot. But, it does not hurt to at least see. If it happens, great, if not, well, there is nothing else we can do except try to keep muddling through here. I am just tired of renting. We have so much stuff in boxes. I do not want to unpack any of it. I hate getting too settled in a place that is not mine.
I want the girls to have rooms we can decorate anyway that we want to. Get huge bookshelves to get the book collection out of the basement. Stuff like that. Plus, usually mortgages are cheaper than rent. That would help A LOT!
Stuff like that. So, fingers crossed.
Other than that, we are doing okay. Just hanging out everyday.
Remy has this new thing about everytime I sit here, she opens the drawers and starts to hand me all of the contents. Over and over. It is funny.
Aizee is talking SO much! Whole sentences now. And a lot of imitation of Brianna. We used to call Aizee " hey baby." stuff like that. Now she says " I NOT THE BABY! I AIZEE!" :)
Brianna is going to be 5 IN ONE WEEK! Man, time sure does zip along! I have my 18000 page list of all of her requested birthday presants. HAHA.
Thank-you for visiting us. And for signing the guest-book. Please, if you get a chance, go visit another child as well. We all love visitors!
Take care and have a YIPPEE day!

Saturday, October 18, 2003 10:19 AM CDT

Hello out there. Please visit ConorFord. It is his 4th birthday today! YAY! His mommy wrote a real tearjerker. IT is a wonderful thing to read.
Katia and Christina are still on rough roads in the hospital. Maxie as well. Cameron is in the hospital for the weekend as well Please, they love visitors. Heck, we all do!


So, nothing says good morning like a way foul diaper. I did not need coffee right away. The instructions in the collecting kit crack me up. " Don gloves if desired "
Why would it NOT be desired? EW. And " Do not drink this liquid " Oh, it looked good. Why not?
Sorry if I am being a smart-ass right now. I am tired.
The girls slept great. But there was somthing outside that made the dogs bark and bark. GRRRR! IT was obnoxious. Rob thinks it was a quail or pheasant. Whatever it was, fine. My dogs should know better than to be so noisy!
Luckily, it was just Rob and I who suffered.
So, got the samples collected and am waiting for The office to open to go drop them off. Today it seems like the it has slowed down a bit. WHich is good. But her bottom is still a bit sore. So, as usual, if I had waited, it would have probably just gone away on its own. Better safe than sorry though.
The girls really want to go back to Grandmas today. So, why not. I need a nap. Haha and it is only 9:30 a.m. So it all works out.
I will get her blood counts back today sometime too. The anc was 2000 last time so that is great. And no fever is great. So, it is probably some bug and things will get back on track.
Thanks for visiting us. Please sign the guest-book. And if you can, visit another child.
Have a Yippee day!

Friday, October 17, 2003 11:38 PM CDT

Please visit JayDog


Okay, kids are like cars. They will make you worry and wonder until you take them in to get looked at! :)
So, yesterday, Aizee was so out of it. So tired and miserable. Go figure. No barfing this morning which is great! Runny diapers though, still there. And such a bad rash! I call the Oncology clinic and they suggest I go to our regular pediatrician. No problem there.
So, I take my girls to my moms house. Aizee is tired and really does not play too much. We take a walk on this very warm and sunshiny day. It was such a gorgouse day! Aizee will not walk. But the other two do! Other than Remy trying to go down a little hill too fast, falling on to her hands and knees, then on her cheek, it was a fun walk. Poor thing! She looke really cute with her little bandaid on her knee. Her first official 'owie'.
So, Aizee and I get to Summit Pediatrics and Aizee is fine. Even walks around and plays a bit! YAY. Then she pooped and boy, that smell! And her bottom. Poor thing. She has such a rash! I cleaned her right after she did it, but her bottom was raw. The nurse took that diaper to see if they could get a sample from it. It was very watery so I was given a sample kit to take home. Reminded me of pre-dx days. When all that was thought to be wrong was some simple stomache thing.
Anyway, she was so cute for Dr. Webster. Being her little Impy self. And man, she is talking and talking! I LOVE IT!
Even though between her and Brianna both going a mile a minute at me can get a bit tedious!
Anyway, they did a regular blood draw. Aizee did not even flinch when the needle went in. Ya, she is so tough. Sad because she has had to be. Catch 22. It is good she can handle it now. Sad because of why.
So, I am calling the doc in the morning to see what to do next. I was supposed to get some um...spelling this will be wrong acidaphilus,. The stuff in yogurt, but the insurance does not cover it and I did not have the needed nine bucks. We will see what I can scrounge up later.
So, after, Aizee walked out of the clinic only to want me to carry her to the car, into the store, up the steps at my moms house.
She was active at the clinic and mellow at grandmas. Go figure. It would not make me so nervous had this not been how she behaved prior. Who knows.
I do know I love her and her sisters. My entire family.
She went right to bed tonight, again. Man, I miss those nights she drove me nuts trying to stay up all night. I prefer that over this. Because then I knew she was just feeling great and being a stinker! :)
Who knows. This whole runny diaper thing is probably some passing bug that will just run its course and go away. But, one can never be too careful!
Thank-you for visiting us. It means a lot. Please visit another child if you can.
Katia has had some serious difficulties lately. She and her family really need prayers that it smooths out again!
Christina as well. Man, there are so many. So, please, keep us all in your thoughts and prayers. Thank-you.
Have a YIPPEE DAY!

Friday, October 17, 2003 11:06 AM CDT

******PLEASE VISIT Jaydog
Hello out there. I hope all is well with you. We are holding our own. Aizee has been very tired and has had a TON of diarhea. It has been horrid. I mean, 13 diapers in one day. And two more just this morning. But, no vomitting this morning. That is a plus. Yesterday was another early wake-up call to a lot of vomitting. Oh, but no dead mouse either. So, maybe things are chilling out some. Aizee is just always tired now.
I took them for a walk yesterday. She rode in the stroller. When we got home, she just layed on the couch. Then went right to sleep at nap. then just layed on the couch all afternoon. Then went right to bed after her bath. She has a really awful diaper rash now. She is just miserable.
The vomitting has been a here and there thing, but it has always happened, even prior to diagnosis. But this runny diaper thing is an entire new thing. No fever yet.
I am just really worn out. Constant worry can do that.
I feel isolated and a little trapped.
I mean, to 'others', runny diapers happen and well, you go with it. With a child with cancer, it could signal many things. And not knowing what it means is worrisome.
There is so much going on right now with our lives, it gets a bit overwhelming. I miss the regular old life we had before. But, I am thankful that our life is like it is now. It could be a lot worse. I mean, A LOT!
So, we are hanging in there and one day, it will be completely different again. In a much better way, one can hope.
I am adding new photos.
Remy has been such a funny baby. The third one is so entertaining. And get into a lot more than the first born, due to the fact that they have a 'role model' to follow! :)
Never a dull moment around here.
Thank-you for visiting us. Please visit other families as well. We all very much appreciate the time you take to stop by.
Have a YIPPEE day.

Wednesday, October 15, 2003 9:55 AM CDT

******PLEASE VISIT Jaydog
It is a heartbreaking time for this family. They now need all the love and support that all of us can offer. I just found him through ConorFords site.
Thank-you.


Hello out there. So, today has started a bit messy. About 5 a.m. or so, Aizees pump finishes. I go and disconnect her and make sure I flush the tube. Go back to bed. Only to hear her retching about a half hour later. So, I go in there with a damp towel and let her finish.
On my way downstairs to get a clean diaper and to put the dirty linenes in the laundry, there is Taz, our cat. He is by the door. Next to him is a prize. The prize is a dead mouse. Lovely. Can't beat barf and mangled mice at 5 a.m. I got a tissue and picked it up and threw it out the door. With Taz in hot pursuit. Just what I like to know. That we now have mice in the house. At least our cat is doing his job.
I clean her up and change her jammies which she calls 'bunnies'. And her sheets. There is Brianna, wide awake talking about how it was okay that she threw-up on her princess sheets. So, back to bed for everyone. Only for it to happen again another half hour later. So, off with the Clifford Sheets and on with the Elmo sheets. But her bunnies stayed clean this time. Back to bed. She retched more later and I got there in time with a towel. So, her tummy is empty but I didn't have to get her out of bed or anything. She also managed to keep her tube down.
Back to bed. She fell right to sleep. I know worrying about her sleeping so much is odd. But she has slept a lot lately. She tried to nap when we went for lunch, after her lp. Oh, that was about a 6 hour experience. We did not get home until after 5. Our appointmnet was at 11. We got out about 4. The drive is an hour long. Then, she went right to bed when we got her bunnies on. Slept late yesterday. Had very little energy all day. Then fell asleep on Rob about 6:30 or so. Then got up at nine today.
Yes, I know she is going through a lot and all of that. But, when yoiu know your child and know how they usually are, when they switch modes on you , it gets ones attention. It isn't like I am sitting here stressed to the max, but I am paying attention. And making sure she is okay.
Her counts look okay. No readjusting her meds yet. They will see what happens next month. Her white count had come down a bit. To 2300. Dr. Iaeesh ( I have no idea how to spell his name. He is from Jeruselem ) eplained in detail what they are doing to make sure everything is going well with her treatment. No one seems to be concerned about her not walking. Well, one doc is. They said I should just play that by ear. It could be due to the prolong build-up to her medications and stuff. That can cause muscle weakness and the like. Well, my question is why now? Out of the blue like this?
So, everything is being played by ear. My ear will be better than Mozart if it keeps being played along. HAha, okay, that was a very lame joke.
Right now Aizee is in a good mood. Brianna as well. Rob left early this morning and Brianna decided to climb into my bed. The only problem with that is she does not sleep. She thrashes around and keeps sighing " Is it time to get up yet?" Despite how grumpy I get she does not stop. If I send her out of my bed, she throws a huge fit. I was in no mood for either. So, I said forget it and got up.
Yaya for Jackie getting out of the hospital. You guys will have the time of your life. Happy birthday to the twins as well. I am saying this now because since Brianna's birthday is the same day, I may get distracted then!
Katia just had her first round of Radiation. Christina is still fighting strong! Anna is in the hospital. So many kids!
I thank-you so very much for visiting us. Thank-you for signing the guest-book. Please take a moment to visit another child if not more if you can. It really means a lot to all of us.
Have a Yippee day!

Monday, October 13, 2003 9:46 AM CDT

Okay, here we go again!!! See, they opted not to do her lp on Thuresday so we are going today. Once again she is crying for her 'chocky milk' and once again I have to deny her. I have no idea what to expect anymore. They have to reavaluate her med dosages because her white count is still very high but she has not really grown at all. So, they may raise it to see what happens. Plus, they are concerned about her lack of walking. Stuff like that. Plus, clinic is being under construction, so to the RTU again we go. Everything is everywhere. What a mess. Ohwell. As long as she is responding to her treatment and is healthy, I am happy.
Remy and Aizee are still fighting colds. Rob seems to be over his more or less.
Fall has really come now. Brianna's 5th birthday is coming up fast. October 27th. Wow, five! That is a big age! She is excited. She is going to have a PowerPuff birthday party. Oh, and she and Aizee are both going to be Blossom for Halloween. Remy is going to be a LadyBug.
We miss being on vacation! I mean, it seemed like it was taking forever for it to get here and now it is over and gone! Good thing I took a ton of photos! I just put 3 new ones on today.
Well, nothing much else to say right now. I will update after her appointment. They better do the LP today.
Oh, and after all of that fighting to get her ng in, the next morning, Saturday at 5 a.m., she woke-up barfing. Over and over. It was so hard to see her having to suffer like that. And the tube had come up out her mouth and she would not let me touch it. But I had to pull it. Once it comes up like that, it is a goner. Poor thing. I do not want to EVER have to put in another tube. So, I am going to talk to the nurses today to have them put one in when she is under at her lp. They have done it before. Because I do not want to have to do!
Thank-you for visitng us today. I hope all of you out there are okay. Please visit other children as well. We all love visitors and stuff in the guest-books! :)
Have a Yippee day!

Friday, October 10, 2003 10:03 AM CDT

Hello out there. This morning has started out great. I love it when the girls wake-up and start chattering. It is fun to listen to. Aizee could not find her lye. (her word for pacifiers) So, I hear Brianna telling her that "maybe it ran away to be with all of the other lyes that ran away too." How cute. And then Aizee talked about the dragon in the Shrek 4-D movie. " Dragon goes Rawr!" But her Roar was a weak one due to her cold, she has a hoarse voice. But, she kept on saying rawr. " Rawr! Rawr! Rawr!" It was adorable. So, they chatted quite a bit. Rob got up and they all went down to play. Remy was sleeping so good, that she and I stayed in bed.
Aizee has forgiven me once again. I know it is somthing that has to be done, but it does not mean I have to like it and have no right feeling horrid about doing it.
So, I had planned on taking them to the park, but a huge cloud has appeared> I guess we will find some other entertainment. Got the vacation blues!
The 3 new pictures I put in her little photo album are funny. Aizee looks so grouchy. SHe is the one who ran right to Shrek. And gave him a huge hug. She is just not into getting her picture taken I guess. She looks like an overwhelmed princess in the next one. At Medival Times, they take your photo right when you enter. Then they photoshop it into different costumes. We went there right after we spent a second full day at Universal Studios.
And the one with Mickey and Minnie. She ran right up to Minnie Mouse. It is funny. Then, when it is time to pose or whatever, she looks so grumpy! I have a ton of candid photos. But those will have to wait until they are developed. Oh, and I probably have a ton of photos without a kid in them. Like, there she was doing somthing cute and took off right when I snapped the camera! :)
Anyway, thank-you for stopping by. It really does mean a lot to us and I love reading the entries to the girls!
If you get a moment, please visit any of the numerouse children that also love visitors.
Have A YIPPEE DAY!

Friday, October 10, 2003 1:29 AM CDT

I wanted to add more about our trip, but, well, today was not the day that was planned. Everyone living this can relate. It just did not work out today. I did upload some new photos. I have to laugh because I was there and know how enthusiastic Aizee was. It is funny to see the photos where she looks so mad and stuff, vs. seconds before and after. She has never been the ham Brianna is. And Remy is becoming for that matter. It is interesting. Those two pose and Aizee views the camera as an intrusion? Who knows. I mean, in the GingerBread House at Give Kids The World, when they did a special Happy Birthday to a child, Aizee hid from that as well.
I had to NG her tonight due to the fact that despite all of our efforts letting her eat whatever whenever she wanted she lost weight, talk about an all out war. I hated myself and cried. It was just horrid. I hate this. It was just a terriable thing... plus, no LP or anything due to the fact that things are a bit screwy with her counts right now...am I bein odd in the fact that though I asked several times for a copy of her counts that they never gave me a copy and I got several differnet numbers???? And That like 2-3 docs looked at her with varying opinions?
All (OH! I HATE THAT WORD!!!!)
I want to know is what is going on. AnywAy, she does have a bad cold and she has stopped walking. And tonight was awful.
I hope to give a humerouse tale in the next day or so. But, I will say the thing that has stuck in my head " You pay the devil for the fun you enjoyed today".

Sorry, but it seems that our debts of the happy trip are due.
Or it could be because it was a very long day and I am scared and all of that.
I will stop now and try to redoe this in the morning. Thanks for visting us and please visit the others who are really in much need of prayers. Have a yippee day! :)

Wednesday, October 8, 2003 10:49 AM CDT

HI OUT THERE!!!! WE'RE BACK! :( The sad face is for the fact that we had such a beautiful time we did not want to come back. Make-A-Wish and Give Kids The World are truely wonderful organizations. They really know how to not only make a child who has gone through hell and back to feel very special in a great way, but the entire family as well. At Give Kids The World, Rob and I could just let the girls just run and have fun doing all of the fun stuff they have there.
I have a ton to share. And I will, soon. Just right now, I am very travel weary. Our flight from Orlando was a little late and our connecting flight took off leaving 30 travelers behind. So, we were put on a flight that left over two hours later. So, we did not get home until afer one a.m. And for some reason, the girls decided they needed to get up around 7 or so.
I took about 30 rolls of film worth of pictures. So, be warned that as soon as they get developed, you will see A LOT of stuff.
Sorry that there is none of me as The Mad Hatter Sandra! :b.
The opportunity just did not happen.
But, we did get a ton of other neat stuff. Dr. Suess Landing was the hit with this crowd. That is on Islands of Adventure. We rode The Cat in The Hat ride about 8 times. We would have more times, but there was so much more to see and do. Each kid got a stuffed Cat in The Hat toy and a new dress covered with Thing-One and Thing-Two characters amongst others. Aizee saw the Cat himself and ran right to him. So, we all got our picture taken with The Cat in The Hat and both things. Her second most favorite attraction was the Shrek 4-D adventure. After her second go, she spotted Shrek himself and so there is another great photo with him. She met Barney too.
She also loved the Woody WoodPecker Roller Coaster.
What am I saying...She Loved all of it. We all did.
The one thing that got me was, we ate at the Garden Cafe', in the Epcot center. Now, this is one fun place. It slowly turns as you are eating, so you have a little show like thing that keeps you entertained. The best part is, there are Disney characters that walk by and you can meet them and get photos. Well, Remy has a thing for Chip-n-Dale. She loved them. She did not like Pluto for some reason. Mickey came by too. Brianna ran right out to get her picture taken, but Aizee refused to. That was hit and miss. All during the trip, there was numerouse characters. I was bummed to hear that while we were in The Muppet Movie attraction, that Sully and Mike went through, so she missed them. I know she would have loved them. She missed Pooh Bear as well. She got to ride the Hunny Pot ride though, but there was no Hundred Acre Wood characters to be seen anywere. I doubt she noticed, but I did. I really wanted her to meet Pooh and Piglet. She got to see Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum. But, she was not inclined to go hug them.
Mayor Clayton tucked them into bed one night as well.
Oh, and they now have a huge crush on The Green Knight.
Medeviel Times is one of the most AWSOME places. Thank-you Sheri for that info. It truely was fantastic. Our Knight was The Green Knight. He gave the girls flowers and chose them to be the maidens he fought for. Brianna has held onto that scarf he gave to her off of his lance ever since.
At the end of the show, he was 'taken-out' by the black and white Knight and they cried. Literally. When they got to meet him later, then they felt better. Got pictures and an autograph there.
Summer and her family met us in The Magic Kingdom. We have not seen each other since like 1995 or 6. It was funny, we just hooked up like old times, just now we have kids. Like there was no time span of seperation at all. The girls got along great. Brianna still talks about Mallie. They all wore their mouse ears together. They looked adorable.
Keely was a doll. Rob and Jason got along well as well. That was fun. It was hard to say good-bye again. Now, when Debbie and Jason (funny,both of my best friends married Jasons) have kids, and we all get together, what a fun crowd that will make! :) Can't wait!
Okay, I am babbling. I hope all of you out there are doing great. After a nap and stuff, I will go visit all of my friends and their pages. Thank-you for visitng us! It was fun to discover all the entries you left while we were gone.
I will write all of you! And astound you with tales of our travels! Have A YIPPEE day! :)

Tuesday, September 30, 2003 5:54 PM CDT

Always up to mischief
She's a little Imp, no doubt
Has quite an "Aizee Temper"
Which makes her scream and shout

She's a true expert
In throwing tantrums, she's a champ
When wearing her shades
She feels like a 50's vamp

But she's the sweetest babe
With such funny ways
Does some very strange things
And hilarious things she says

Goes to play in the park
Wearing her mum's favorite dress
Loves to splash in muddy puddles
And get into a filthy mess

Oh, and there are the cravings
Likes to eat big chunks of butter
A strange child,must take from her mum
Who is definitely a bit of a nutter

A house full of love
Three sisters so very sweet
Each with a very strong character
A crazier family you couldn't meet

But who I really fel sorry for
Is poor, poor daddy Rob
Coping with 4 hysterical females
Is certainly not an easy job

Check for spelling mistakes.
love Sandra



Hi there. We are outta here for a week. But please, if anything happens, either leave me a note in the guest-book or e-mail me. Thanks. Cheryl, Aizees mom.
We will keep you all in our prayers.

I will put the newletter from Caringbridge here now.
Thank-you for visitng. PLEASE, visit the many other children that are out there and love getting visitors as well! :) Thank-you and have a YIPPEE week!

"Strengthen the Bridge" Campaign Begins
CaringBridge is growing at a tremendous rate. From August 2002 to August 2003, the number of families visiting CaringBridge increased 150%. Each month, more than 450 new CaringBridge pages are created.

To continue to nurture this growth and better serve our CaringBridge families and users, CaringBridge is launching a $75,000 "Strengthen the Bridge" campaign. Donations will fund three areas of great need:
Technology - improve the technical infrastructure to meet the increased demand.
Web server administration - dedicate resources to administer, maintain and support the server.
Customer Service - maintain a high response level to CaringBridge users.
"We are committed to the thousands of families that use CaringBridge," said Sona Mehring, Executive Director of CaringBridge. "To keep up with increased demand for this donation-based service, CaringBridge needs your help with this campaign. Ninety-seven percent of the funds that we raise together will directly go to service improvements."

You can help "Strengthen the Bridge" through a personal donation online at http://www.caringbridge.org/donate. Also, please ask your visitors to consider a pledge-many would welcome a chance to give back to CaringBridge. Thank you for your support of this campaign!

For more information, contact the CaringBridge campaign staff at info@caringbridge.org or 651.452.7940.

Spread the Word!
In 1997, CaringBridge began by helping one family during a crisis. Today, over 11,500 families have created web pages for loved ones. Please let others know about CaringBridge. If you need brochures or informational kits--simply contact the CaringBridge website at http://www.caringbridge.org/interested.htm and indicate your interest. Keep in touch!

Monday, September 29, 2003 8:57 AM CDT

Please visit Michelle She needs A LOT of prayers right now. Please.


Always up to mischief
She's a little Imp, no doubt
Has quite an "Aizee Temper"
Which makes her scream and shout

She's a true expert
In throwing tantrums, she's a champ
When wearing her shades
She feels like a 50's vamp

But she's the sweetest babe
With such funny ways
Does some very strange things
And hilarious things she says

Goes to play in the park
Wearing her mum's favorite dress
Loves to splash in muddy puddles
And get into a filthy mess

Oh, and there are the cravings
Likes to eat big chunks of butter
A strange child,must take from her mum
Who is definitely a bit of a nutter

A house full of love
Three sisters so very sweet
Each with a very strong character
A crazier family you couldn't meet

But who I really fel sorry for
Is poor, poor daddy Rob
Coping with 4 hysterical females
Is certainly not an easy job

Check for spelling mistakes.
love Sandra

That is my new poem, created by Gemma's mom at my request.

She is sure the fun lady!


So around here, we have been walking to the post office. It is about half a mile round trip. I have a double seated stroller that Remy and Aizee ride in and Brianna walks with me. She acts like it is a death march! I tell her it is training! :) I mean, there is a ton of walking to be done in Florida. Trying to get her little muscles used to it.
That double seat stroller. It has the seats next to each other. I got it right when I knew I was pregnant with Aisalynn. It cost over $300 bucks. Baby Trend brand. One of the smarter investments I have ever made. I wish I had put one of those pedometers on it. I wonder how many miles it would show now-a-days? I mean, It has been over 3 years and a LOT of walking. When I see brand new Baby Trend strollers, I laugh because mine is still in excellent shape. But it is faded and you can tell it has gone through much. The new ones are all bright and spiffy.
So, just needing to do a lot of last minute things between now and tommorow night. Like watering plants and cleaning the house. Rob still needs to pack.
I went to the store and bought all travel stuff and new toothbrushes and stuff. I just wanted that stuff done with. Not the last minute scramble of brushing teeth and then trying to remember to pack that stuff. So, each of us got a new toothbrush and paste, already packed. Same with shampoo and that stuff. Lotion and sunscreen. Razors for Rob and I.
My mom got Brianna and Aizee new little back-packs, PowerPuff of course. I packed up all of their plane entertainment inside. Then put them on their backs to make sure they could carry them. Just barely! :) The girls then wanted to pack their stuffed Tigers right then. I told them they could Tuesday night. Now all we need to do is get little snacks ready for the plane. I got Remy some little flap-books. Those should keep her busy for about 3 minutes! hehe.
I got me a new bathing suit. Not an easy thing to do in off-season in Utah. I got lucky. Not only was it my size, but it was a 'normal' suit. There where some that I know that my grandma would wear. I am not that old YET!
Tommorow, Rob said he would finnish whatever cleaning I did not get done today ( I am going to try and do it all for a suprise to him! ) While I take the girls on a journey of kenneling our Cat Taz, and taking one of our dogs, Fabien to my folks. My dad said he would dog-sit him. We are going to Kennel Taz because I am afraid he will get spooked with us gone and run away, or not come in for the ladies we asked to feed our other 3 dogs and get hurt. So, that is one big worry gone.
As for Poncho, Gretal and Kiwi, Val and Sue from Robs work said they will come and let them out and feed them. I bought them a huge box of milkbones and a bag of rawhide bones. They should be set. I worry about Gretal a little. There has never been a fence created that she can not get over. But I had a nice talk with my neighbor lady. So, I doubt that will be an issue. So, that is what is happening right now. Oh, and the girls are piling up on daddy.
Good, if he wears them out, I have a better chance of geting more than the little chores I get done done.:)
Aizee was given the week off from her N.G.. Well, the other night, I got her equipment all set up. Went to do the air check and it was clogged! Now that is annoying, just for the fact that I had made sure I flushed it everyday! Also, I already had the cans of pediasure in the bag. That was a waste. I pulled her tube. I was not going to put another one in just to pull that one out in a few days. So, she got a little more freedom than we had planned. BUT, she did eat a bit yesterday. So, that is a good thing.
So, I am off to try and get organized. HAHA. Wish me luck!
Thank-you so much for visiting us! IT means a lot!

Oh, and I have a couple of requests. One is, please visit any other child or children if you can. There are so many. Christina is still fighting to recover from her BMT. A lot going on there. Katia is still in serious need of a donor! She is also in the hospital. Maxie is still in the hospital. Kody is having surgery tommorow.
There is always so much happening in everyones lives.

And the second request is if you could look into donating to CaringBridge. I will post the newsletter I recieved today, tommorow.
Thanks for visiting us. Have a Yipee day!

Friday, September 26, 2003 10:26 AM CDT

Here is a great poem that Sandra, Gemma's mom wrote for me. I had to laugh and wanted to share it!
Aizee,you're a sweetie
That you're feeling better we are glad
But now we have to fix your mum
Who's crazy, totally mad.
HAhaha.
Thank-you Sandra!

Happy Birthday to Summer! On the 24th!!! I hope it was fun!
Happy birthday Will! Today.

Well, less than one week to go! I have the girls already packed. They are all set to go. Everyday Brianna asks if it is our 'Trip Day'. I say not yet. Then she askes Tommorow? No...After that? You are getting closer sweets! And on and on.
Works out too since the Utah Forestry service decided to burn down a mountain or two. There is an air warning outside. Big health hazard due to all of the smoke. It does not look as bad today as it did yesterday. Stil, though! I am glad no lives or homes are threatened. That is a plus. But I feel bad for Mother Nature.
See, it was supposed to be a controlled burn that got out of control. Big mess.
So, yesterday was intersting. It looked like a beautiful day, but had to stay inside due to that. I mean, we could maybe have gone out, but why risk it?
Then I got a blinding migrain right after lunch. It felt like my eye was going to explode. After a few tylenols and a loratab or two last night, it felt better. I usually only get one of those once a year. Two every once in awhile. I can not imagine how bad that has to be for those who get them like every week or more! UCK!
The girls fought all evening. Then, Debbie sent more fishie balls and all was right with the world again. See, when she came to visit, she brought a really cool ball for Remy. It was a clear super ball that had a smaller ball in it. This little ball had water and a tiny plastic fish. It is the neatest thing!
Aizee claimed it for her own. But when Remy got it, she would eat the rubber. Since it is clear, it took a bit for us to notice this. Then one day all the water was gone. I realized what had happend and took it away. Aizee wigged out. So, then I peeled off the rubber part and took out the little tiny fish ball inside. That was Aizees treasure. Then one night, it was lost. She SCREAMED for hours. Rob and I ripped the house apart looking for this tiny ball, the size of a quarter. We tore the car apart. No luck. That was one long night. Debbie sent more and the girls each got a new one last night. Aizee was SO happy! It is still amazing to me what kids get attached to!
Oh, an I coated Remy's with pickle brine. She tried to bite it once and that was enough!hehe.
Since we are still in the smoke zone today, we are going to my parents house. They are up higher than us a bit and no smoke there.
I would put more here but it is getting busy around here and it is hard to type when one little Imp and a Pixie and a Sprite are all your legs and chattering a mile a minute!

Christina is still fighting. She is holding her own, but please visit if you can. Jackie is doing better and so is her Grandma. Katia is still in the hospital! They need a donor! She seems to be a little better.
Jacksons sister was in a car accident! And he is a bit upset.
Oh, the list is long! So, please go visit who you can when you can! We all really truley appreciate it! Thank-you for visitng us and have a Yippee day!

Wednesday, September 24, 2003 11:16 AM CDT

***********NEW PHOTOS***********
And, thank-you for the lovely compliments on my adorable daughters! They are the reason I live and breath everyday!

Hello out there. Rob says thank-you for all of the great birthday wishes!
We took the kids for a walk. Then went to my folks. We hung-out and played uptil it was time to go for our movie. We saw Cold Creek Manor. Um, it was okay to see once. It could have been a really great movie, but they missed the boat on that. It was not awful, but one you'd only watch once. Then we went to Joe's Crab Shack for dinner. Being a Tuesday night, it was pretty mellow. The Snow Crab was yummy as usual. Then we went back to my folks house. Where the girls were all set with a fun suprise for Rob. They had made him a cake and frosted it themselves. It was quite the sight I tell you! :) As soon as my mom gets the pictures developed, I'll put them up. The girls were as excited as if it was their birthday. Aizee kept saying Happy-birthday daddee! I wuv you! It was so adorable! Remy ran around and clapped her hands and all hyper. Brianna wanted to get down to business. She put all the candles on herself. Oh, and my dad bought trick candles. Knowing that it would be the girls who would blow them out more than Rob would be able too! Brianna and Aizee blew and blew and blew some more. It was a lot of fun! Big chocolate mess! Haha. Fudge frosting is good like that!
Then we got some very tired girls loaded into the van and they yakked all the way home. Sugar high or somthing. But, they fell asleep right when we got home and stayed asleep as I put them in their beds. That was lucky.
Rob and I stayed up a bit, then off to bed. He is off again today. The exterminator dude is coming again. Godd becase we found 3 hornets nests. Close to the house. If they were in the fields a ways, it would not bother me. But one is right inside of the garage and one is right in an eve next to our bedroom window.
Then off for another walk. Taking advantage of this lovely fall weather! It sure has been lovely!
I put on new pictures too!
Thank-you everyone for signing the guest-book! Yes, just one week to go. I totally understand, very slow and fast at the same time!!
Please go visit other children when you can. Katia is still in the hospital. Christina is still fighting hard! Maxie is in the hospital and Michele (I hope I spelled that one right) who is under the link Jacqui is someone to visit as well. Along with Kody and Jackie, and so many others.
But remember the happy ones as well. Like Samantha. She is off treatment and starting life outside of Chemoland. Got to remember the successful along with the ones fighting to be there!
Thanks for visiting and have a Yippee day!!! :)

Tuesday, September 23, 2003 9:26 AM CDT

It is with such a heavy heart to tell you that Codi-Bug has lost her battle. She passed away this morning, to become yet another beautiful Angel. Please, visit her page. She was such a fighter. Plus, there are a lot of informative links there that help guide one to find what ways may be best for you to volunteer at and the like. Please add some words of confort in her guest-book.
Katia is still fighting and has no donor to date. Christina is still fighting hard after her BMT. Khalita now is ill with high fevers.
SOme good things though, Samantha! HEr last LP came back clear and so she is set for the 5 year watch! This is exciting news. It gives hope and shows that it is not always a tragic ending. Also, because Sam has the same cancer as Aizee and Gooch. I just added his link up above. A new page to visit! Along with so many others! Thank-you for visiting us and please visit others when you can!

So, yesterday. I took the girls to Trail Side park. It was wonderful. The girls found a whole buch of kids their ages to play with. We started at the top park, then made our way down the trail to the lower one. I like this one because it is challenging still for Brianna, yet has smaller equipment for Remy. And Aizee has more fun on this one as well. So, there was a bunch of friends there for a play date and the girls were welcomed with open arms. It was great. Even Remy had a little boy her size give her some attention. It was cute. He kept trying to take her by her hand, ( he is 2 months older! :) )and she would give him this look! I can only imagine if this will be the same look used on future suitors! She would pull her hand away and then he would try and push her. She showed him, she pushes back. After tussling a bit, they just followed each other around checking stuff out.
There was another little boy that had a laughing contest with Aizee and they ran around. There is a little grassy hill and Brianna and some kids had fun rolling down it over and over. Oh, and everyone had snacks. So, we had a big smorgishborg. I had brought Trix ceral, a ton of apples, peanutbutter crackers, celery sticks, juice, stuff like that. Well, it was funny because most of the other kids liked what we had and my girls wanted what they had. It all worked out. Oh, Aizee had this huge apple. She was on top of the climbing structure and was trying to fit it through the bars to give to me. It would not squeeze through, so I told her to roll it down the slide and I would catch it. So, I am at the bottom of the curly q slide waiting for this apple, next thing I see is this apple being thrown over the bars. I am glad no one got hit.
It was funny, guess you'd have had to been there!
So, it was getting late and most everyone else had left for Mc'Donalds or whereever for lunch. We went back up to the top play ground which has two different structures. There was this giant black lab. I asked the owner what it was bread with. SHe told me he was pure-blood. He was HUGE! The size of a masstiff! Remy wanted this dog! I made sure he was kid safe. There are those that bring not nice to kid dogs to a park, have no idea why....
( Oh, and this park has a dog park area too! It is neat! )
So, Remy went gaga for this dog. It was the size of a horse for her. She wanted this doggie. He licked her and she loved it! She toddled around near him. I had to keep up with her because Lab tails are great whips! I did not wnat her getting smacked by that tail! Remy is a huge animal lover. She stepped up wrong from the wood chips to the sidewalk and conked on her little head and bonked her nose. Like the dog owner said " Well, that just took away the fun!" Yes it did. Poor Remy! Now she has a scraped up nosie!
It was time to go anyway. Aizee was so cute, when we were heading up the mountain to the parking lot, there was a baby in his stroller and he threw his bottle. Aizee ran right over there and picked it up for him saying " Here go Baby." And patted his head.
Oh, and Aizee is like mother goose to Remy. No this Rem-Rem, No that Rem-Rem. etc.
OH! Here is a story!!!!
So, I am changing the sheets on my bed. The girls are playing on the floor and mauling our cat Taz. Brianna says Mommy! Remy has a bee!" I looked over and there was a wasp on Remy! I flew over the bed and tried to swat it off, then Remy picked it up before I could. I am trying to gently knock it out of her hands, and it clings to her, and she is holding onto it laughing and getting mad at me for trying to take it. While this is going on I am expecting her to get stung, then she wraps it in her fist and I am wondering how is it she is not stung yet? Finally got the thing away from her. It was so weird, its stinger was gone. Wasps are not like bees. They keep their stinger and can sting over and over again. This one had a hole there. In fact, the yellow area where the stinger goes was hallow! That explained how Remy could man-handle a wasp and not get stung. Still, now I have more silver in my head than green hair! :)


IT IS ROBS BIRTHDAY TODAY!!!!!!! YAY~~~
He is the most wonderful husband there ever was!
We plan on playing here most of the day. Then my folks are going to watch the girls and we are going out to a movie and dinner!
I will stop now. Thank-you for visitng us! Have a Yippee day!

Sunday, September 21, 2003 10:29 AM CDT

Please, visit Codi-Bug. She is fighting very hard.
PLease visit Katia. Her fevers just won't go away. Still no donor. Christina is fighting as well. A few complications have happened after her transplant.
Kody is having his surgery on the 30th. So many kids going through one hell or another. Too many. :(
AnnaBanana seems to be doing well though. Her tumor has shrunk.

As I type this this morning, Aizee and Brianna are getting wild with the jelly and some butter knives and toast. Brianna really loves to cook. Takes after her daddy there! So, anytime she can do it herself, I let her. Why not? Well, Aizee wants to too. Actually more jelly is getting into her via her dull knife than by any other way. At least she is eating it. The jelly jar was almost empty anyway.
It must sound like we live like wild animals around here! A kid eating blocks of butter and spoonfuls of mayo, jelly straight from a jar. It is not an all day thing. It is hard to explain. I know that if this family has not gone through what we have, it wouldn't be so odd now. But the rules are different now. I read those parenting magazines and read the tips on how to get your kids to eat, how not to be a 'short-order cook' etc. That you have to lay down the law more or less. They don't like it, tough, they starve. Well, when one desperately needs her kid to eat, one will do what they need to to do that. Plus, I have to bend the rules for Brianna. I mean, she eats with manners and I make her eat her dinner, but I also allow her some of the freedom that I allow Aizee. I have found that when Aizee freaks out for mayo. I put it on bread and she will eventually eat the bread. Brianna decides she wants that too, I think, this sucks, but I will let her have it. She ate that one time and realized that that was not for her. Same with the butter thing. And her jelly made it onto her toast and she ate it all. Just winging it day by day.
Lately Aizee has been into throwing HUGE fits! I mean shrieking right in my face, the whole thing. I more or less ignore her if she is just yelling. When she gets physical, she is in her room. This is really new with us. For so long, she was docile and really did not throw big fits. She only got really upset once in awhile and then it was over somthing serious. Now man, look out! It seems that everthing this last week has set her off! Plus, she has stopped walking again.

Saturday we went to my folks house. We brought Fabien. My dad will watch him while we are gone. The girls loved having him along. When we got there, it was decided that we would all take a walk. Brianna held his leash. My dad helped her so she would allow Fabe to stop and go to the bathroom. My mom followed Remy who loves to cruise along. She is really into stomping down the road. It is a dead-end street in the mountains. So, there is no traffic at all. There are only like 5 houses total on this road. With my parents at the very end. Aizee refused to walk. She wanted me to carry her. But, she is a hard kid to carry because she doesn't really hold on when you do. Then, when we turned around, she got really mad. She wanted to keep going. But, she wasn't walking and I got tired after half a mile carrying her. She wheighs about 29 pounds now! WOW!
So, then they played on their trampoline. Had lunch, then they did their cooking thing. My folks have bought them a variety of toy appliances. A microwave, blender, mixers, a real perking coffee maker, etc. So, they always get into it. My mom had cookie dough, so that entertained them rolling out the dough and cutting out cookies for a few hours. Aizee loves fun mess like that. Brianna is VERY serious and intent on her task. Remy just made a mess. But she had fun.
I went to the store and bought small art stuff for the plane rides. And travel stuff! Then watched a movie!
The girls were so overly tired when we got home, they did not got to sleep until after 10!!!!
Aizees tube came out when they were in the hottub and I let her have the night off from it. If she eats today, then maybe I can put it off again!
Well, I will stop babbling now. Thanks for coming by.
Please visit any other child as well. IT really helps!
Have a Yippee day!

Friday, September 19, 2003 10:44 AM CDT

Please, visit Codi-Bug. And Katia, and Christina.
Kody is having surgery on the 30th. There are so many children going through so much! And it changes from minute to minute to minute. Any child that you can visit I know would mean SO much to their families! I wish I could link every child here.
Thank-you for visting us!


Hello out there. Nothing exciting going on here. Just enjoying the lovely fall weather. It is freezing in the mornings and warms up by afternoon.
I let the girls take their Little People outside to play. So, they set up this huge town, then decided they wanted to do somthing else. Sigh. Ohwell.
Everytime Remy finds somthing fun to play with, she is aleviated by a sister. Poor thing. It seems that anything she picks to play with is much more fun than the toy Aizee already has. So, it is a constant back and forth. Keeps me on my toes. Remy is funny because anytime you put on shoes, she automatically starts to wave saying "Buh-by!"
Brianna chatters non-stop all day until she crashes at night. It is like living with ones own event announcer mixed with an auctioneer. And this seems to need no rest!
I took them for a walk to the Post OFfice. I made Brianna walk. She helped push the stroller. She had fun. But, she did get tired coming back. Good. I am going to do this again today!
Aizee has been from extreamly happy to very whiny. Then back up. Just a little middle ground here and there. She bit Brianna last night. I was shocked. Probably not as shocked as Brianna though. And they were not even fighting. They were cahsing each other through the house laughing and having fun. Brianna jumped on the couch next to me and Aizee jumped on her. I was looking at Brianna and saw this look. I think Aizee even shocked herself. She started to cry as well. Anytime she knows she is in trouble, her first thing to do is cry for a Hug and Kiss.
So, I gave Brianna a quick hug and told her to hold on a second. I picked up Aizee and hugged her all the way to her room. Where I put her down and closed the door. Boy, she was MAD!!!!
I went down and got an ice pack for Brianna. It was quite the chomp. Perfect circle of teeth marks. Big bruise now.
It was cute later though. See, I went up after 3 minutes and let Aizee out of time-out and told her teeth are for biting food, not sisters. Etc. Then ROb got home and I explained what happened. He told Aizee, Don't bite Nana again. And Brianna pipes in " Ya, 'cause if you bite me again, I'm gonna need more ice in my bag!" HAHA. Kids.
They wrestled all morning with daddy. Works for me. Now they are mellow.
We can not wait for our trip.About eleven days left. I count the day we are leaving, which is October 1st. We are just working on having our pets taken care of while we are gone. Kennel costs are too much. And my dad doesn't want to do it. So, fingers crossed.
I'll go for now. Thanks for coming by and visiting us.
Please, if you get a moment, please visit another child as well. It does mean a lot to all of us.
Enjoy this lovely fall day!

Thursday, September 18, 2003 10:06 AM CDT

On 9/16/03 Connor Passed away. Please, visit Connor's Page
I just visited there that night. Probably right before.

Christina is having difficulties and Katia is still in need of a donor. I have yet to visit other children today. That is what I am going to do when I am done here. It never stops hurting. I have never met any of these families in person. Yet, after visiting them just about everyday, I get to know them.
Rob was off two days in a row again and that is fun. We played both days. Took the girls for a walk on Tuesday and went to our little counrty cash and carry store. The girls loved that. We tried to go for an even longer walk yesterday and got caught in a storm. At least the hail part of it held off until we got back home! We had to go pay some bills, so we just took the girls out of the strollers into the car seats and took off. We have an excellent heater in our van, so it all worked out. :)
Yesterday the girls argued a lot! When the weather changes so drastically, it seems to make them really grouchy!
Today, everyone slept in. But, I managed to have them fed and dressed before 9a.m. GO ME! Usually between all the bickering and stuff, it isn't until after 10.
No vomiting for two nights now and that is great! Aizee has been a little stinker lately. She has hit being 3 full stride now!
The three of them are fun together. Though, there are times when their tussles can give one a headache!
Oh, and my jaw stopped hurting for both days Rob is here. So, I did not have to take any pain killers. Now, he is going to work today and my jaw decideds it needs to hurt. And, I can't take a pain pill. Ohwell.
I will finnish this later. I have a little Imp in my ear, and trying to concentrate over her whining is difficult!
Thank-you for visiting us! Please, if you get a moment, to visit others, it means a lot to all of us!
Thank-you for signing Aizees guestmap as well!
Have a Yippee day!

Tuesday, September 16, 2003 11:35 AM CDT

Hello out there. Check out Aizees new GUESTMAP! Please post in it! Don't mind the extra gobbly goop at the bottom of the icon. Khalita helped me figure out how to place the map on here. But, when I tried to edit out the extra stuff, it threw my margines into a big mess. So, well, that is that. :)
Brianna is being a grouch today. She is mad she has sisters and has to share. Ect. Remy finds it funny to make her so mad. Brianna sets up somthing and Remy gets right in the middle. This sends Brianna into a tizzy and her tizzys are quite the show. So, of course Remy thinks this is a game. It is quite entertaining. Luckily Aizee is watching Shrek, or it would be even louder and more of a tizzy fest! LOL.
I am letting daddy handle it today.
Yesterday poor Aizee was so constipated. Due to her vincristine. I mean, she could not even walk. It happened very suddenly too. She was fine in the morning, then just froze later. I asked her what was wrong and she said she was poopy. But, when I went to change her diaper, there was nothing there. But she did have a rash and her tummy was distended and very hard. I gave her some sinikot. But she was miserable all day. Could hardly walk. We went out to play and she was fine for about 10 minutes. Then she just stood in the corner of the yard. She did not want to come in and lay down either. She just wanted to stand there. Bath time seemed to help. Then she was in agony again. I called to make sure I could dose her with a laxative again because this ine says just one time a day. I was told to give her tylenol as well.
I was giving her juice as much as possiable all day.
She had a hard time getting comfortable to go to bed. Finally she was able to sleep. And, success this morning. She feels so much better. So happy and light! YAY! I felt so bad for her. I mean, when they go through that, or any of the other millions of things they suffer, it hurts the heart not being able to help your child. And just have to watch them suffer. Especially when you want to hold them to give some comfort and they are too miserable to allow that.
I wish Brianna could go to kindergarten. I know she is so ready for it! But in this state, the law is 5 by 9/1 or not at all. We found out in Conn. That as long as they are 5 by the end of December, they are allowed to go.
I mean, I dearly cherish my time with my kids. And I am very lucky that despite all the financial hardship, I am able to stay home with my girls.....but...
Brianna is used to a social life and I think her boredom is causing some of her difficult behaviour.
So, we are going to try and figure somthing out. BUT, after our trip. That is the number one thing right now. This family needs this trip. To reconnect and have some fun!
Then we shall tackle the other stuff afterwards.
Aizee loves her tippy toes. That is the only way she walks and runs. Along on her tippys. It is cute to watch.
Oh, and the words! She is non-stop. From first thing in the am to right when they run out of steam at night. Two little girls NON STOP! Remy does too, but it is the stream of baby babble, grunts and gestures from her right now. And the shreiks when she does not get her way.
Oh, and Aizee loves Mayo. On bread. She licks it off. After I put on another layer or two, she finally eats the bread. But, it gets coated a few times first.
She was yelling at me about what she wanted. I asked her "Can you say Mayonnaise?"
And she did. Perfectly. :)
So, butter and mayo. Oh boy. Now i am curious what her next craving will be?
I mean, well ketchup is a given for any child. That is a food group unto itself.
Well, I will stop here. It is a windy day and we are just hanging out just playing all day.
Katia is still in need of a donor. Christina is still recovering from her BMT. Conor and Connor need prayers.
CodiBug is in the hospital. So many kids. Thank-you SO much for visiting us. If you get a chance, please visit other kids. Thank-you.
Have a Yippee day!

Monday, September 15, 2003 10:06 AM CDT

I love this Ribbon. And I love her Bracelet. Now I have two really beautiful things to switch back and forth with on her page! YAY> Thank-you to my friends for creating these wonderful things for Aizee! :)

Hello out there. My jawis still hurts! This constant pain is getting very old. Interesting thing. My dentist prescribed Decadron as an anti-inflamatory. Aizee is on that now as well due to having vincristine. One of those handy-dandy universal drugs I guess. I hope it does a better job on her than it seems to be doing for me!
For 3 mornings straight, Aizee has woken-up the house by vomiting. Once at 5:30, once at 7, and another between 6 and 7. She managed to empty out her stomache two of those times, but was able to keep swallowing enough to keep her tube down. Poor thing. The last time though, it came up. I left it out for that day and night. SHe still woke-up a bit pukey. If she had eaten a bit better yesterday, I would have not put it back in last night. But, she not only didn't eat hardley at all, she really did not drink much either. She carries sippy-cups around with various drinks, but won't drink them.
She loves butter though. I mean, REALLY loves it. That is all she seems to want to eat. Straight butter. If I tell her no, then leave the room for a minute, she opens the fridge and gets it out by herself. She even rumagges around for a butter knife to cut some off.
So, I chose between fighting with her all day or giving her a butter allotment. Sounds so crazy I know. I am in a quandry. I offer her anything she wants. I just want her to eat. She wants to eat butter. So, I am trying to balance between over-indulgence and being happy she is eating somthing. I am hoping this is just a stage.
Her fingernails are starting to look weird as well. If they seem to get worse, I am going to have them checked out.
Her hair is growing back at different rates on different parts of her head. She looks like Mrs. Bradey. Seriously. The back has grown very long with loops up at the tips. The sides are still short and so is the top. But she has these funny bangs. She runs the gambit between being tired and whiney and spazzy happy. When we go out to play a lot of the times she sits huddled somewhere and reminds me of a frail old lady. If she does perk up and run around a bit, she quickly tires and wants to go lay down.
No fevers though and she is mostly happy. And, she is talking SO much. Like someone pulled out a cork. Whole sentences. And, they make sense! She chatters non-stop, with Brianna. Those two are fun together. Actually, all 3 of them. But Aizee and Brianna are at the ages now where they can really play little games together. They pretended " Movie Theater " the other day. ' Drove to the movies, on the big slide that has a steering wheel. Then, they have some miniature lawn chairs they set side by side to 'view' the movie. OR, they hide in the trees and pretend to be going to NeverLand. And, I am the mommy ride. They climb into their wagon and I pull them around the yard. That is Aizees favorite thing. Briannas favorite yard thing is to twist up the baby swing, while holding onto the straps. Then she swings her legs onto the cross bar and goes for a dizzy ride. Remy just likes to walk around and check out the world around her.
(Right now the girls are peeling hard boilded eggs. Sharing a step stool. Amazing how much bickering two little kids can do over peeling eggs!!)
Remy is funny. When she decides she is done playing in the yard, she heads right for the stairs and goes inside. All by herself. But, I can not let her be in the house alone, so that is her and my game. She goes in, I bring her out. Over and over. She finds it funny. So do I. Remy has a 6 word vocabulary. And I think a whole lot of baby cuss words that I am better off not understanding. LOL!
We are getting excited for our trip. We leave in 16 days! YAYAY!
If I think of any more silly stuff to add here about my funny girls, I will edit it in. :)
Kodys mom has a friend who made Aizee a beautiful Cancer Awareness Ribbon. I just don't know how to place it on here yet. BUT, September is ChildHood Cancer Awareness month. Also, I have a guest-map I am still trying to figure out to put on here. I know all about cuat and paste, etc. But, it seems to distort this entire page. I will get this figured out eventually.
Katia is still in the hospital in need of a Donor. CodiBug is in serious need of prayer. Christina is still recovering from her Transpalnt. ConorFord and Connor are both in need of support. And Hannah and Madeline. Their family is having some stress.
There are so many out there. If you could please visit at least one a day or somthing. Every prayer, every thought, all of it means so much to us. Thank-you very much!
Thank-you for visiting us. Have a Yippee day!

Friday, September 12, 2003 9:35 AM CDT

Hello out there. I hope everyone had a good day yesterday. Aizees appointment went well. Weight is up. No temp. But she has a high white count and a low platelet count. So, I guess we still need to wait and see what happens on her next lp. That is schedualed for the day after we return from our Wish Trip.
I lost a filling and it did not hurt at the time. But man, my tooth started to hurt very badly on Monday night. I was puttingoff the dentist because, well, I am goofy I guess. I don't know. So, finally, Wednsday, after a few nights with no sleep and days of ache, I gave in. Dropped the girls off at my moms and Rob took me to an endodontist. What an office. I had to laugh. Even the sheilds they use on you when x-raying teeth matched the decor. Everything matched perfectly. I guess my tooth was so bad and in such a rough spot to get to, bottom right side, they suggested knocking me completely out. Well, this is an open air office. Meaning that there are many examine rooms, but they are not complete rooms. No doors or anything. So, I was not nervous about having somthing weird happen to me while under. I was all for getting out of pain. So, I took a pill, got gassed and a shot of verset in the arm. That shot hurt. BUt, I toughed it out. I figure my tiny 3 year-old has put up with much worse for far longer without a complaint. I needed to follow her example.
The rest of the day is a weird memory. According to my husband and parents, I was pretty loopy the rest of that night. The doc warnedt hem that is how it would be.
I felt great. Until yesterday evening. My jaw hurts so bad right now. ERG!
But Aizee did great at her appointment. Full of impiness. Being a little happy girl. It was fun. Well, if you can say going to an oncology clinic is fun.
It was a rough night for me. My jaw hurt. Aizees kangaroo pump kept going off. And she barfed everywhere this morning. We have all been up since about 5:30 a.m. or so.
The girls are cranky and so am I. It is going to be a long day. Ohwell, that is just how it goes. There have been worse days. Remy is happy at least. Making a big mess right now. I wish the other two would do that instead of arguing like they are right now.
I changed the pictures.
I wanted to tell all of you thank-you for visiting us. For your prayers and care. It really means a lot to us.
Please, if you get a moment, visit another child. Thank-you.
Have a Yippee day!

Tuesday, September 9, 2003 9:37 PM CDT

Go here Julia and PRAY FOR A MIRACLE! Please!
Jackie is now in the hospital.
Katia is still in the hospital and in desperate need of a donor. Please, go get registerd. See what you can do! Christina is still in the hospital. So many kids. I have about 30 or so more kids links I need to get on here. I know there are so many. That is why I ask if you get a moment, at least visit one a day or somthing. And, THANK-YOU for visiting us.
At the time of Aizees diagnosis, we did not have internet access. I really wish we did. So I could have done this journal from the beggining. I do this for so many reasons. Some are more complicated to explain than others. One is for my kids. When they get older, I want to have this printed out and ready to hand to them so they can see what we went through from my perspective. So, they can see what went on. They are so young and I know that they have trouble understanding many of the things that has happend and have yet to happen. I do it for me as well. To remember what is going on. To get out how I feel. SO I can look back later. As a testament what we have lived through. As a reminder to be thankful for even the smallest thing. Whatever it may be. Also, I try see thois as a window between our world alterd by cancer to the world that really does not understand. Meaning, so those who don't live this can maybe catch a glipse into our lives of what it is like, and for us to see how it was. I hope that made sense.
I am not nuts. Just have a kid who is sick. That should make a handy-dandy bumper sticker eh?
I mean, take Katia for example. She was doing great. In remmission. Family starting to try and recover then BAM! Back into treatment she goes. Same with Christina. That could be my child. My child could be gone like Rashid or Chassidy.
We used to have a basic life. NOt one with odd machines like Kangaroo pumps and cassete I.v.s Doxirubicyne was not a typical vocabulary word. Neither was septra or Dex. ANC and CRIT and that sort of thing were not in the forefront of our minds everyday. I mean, your kid falls down or bangs their head. Normal family response is to check for concussion and that sort of thing. Their first thoughts are not: What was their last Platelet count?
Or being in a store and someone coughs, I used to not run the other way. Even if they did not cover their mouth.
I never let my kid eat butter straight or chocolate milk by the gallon. Now I am thrilled if she will eat a chip, even if it is for breakfast.
A sniffle used to not worry me. Nor a little cough. Now I wonder what could this lead to? I was looking forward to all childhood milestones. Now, they are like trying to figure out Stonehenge. Once upon a time, chicken pox would not have scared the crap out of me. The list goes on.
I never used to know all the people I have met through this. Never would have known their kids to cry for. Families to hurt with. So, the pro's are a deeper sense of gratitude for everything. To be more appreciative. That I have met so many BEAUTIFUL people and thier families. A network of of people who share their hopes and tears and strength and prayers. If it was not for this evil thing in our lives, none of us would have met. I just wish it could be the same without the threat to our kids. Why could I not have met you like at the park and chat kid stuff. Rather than on the internet talking about this scary stuff?
Who knows. I do know that due to this, I have this compulsion to have everyone know about Aizee. I want you to know she exists. That we exist. I am not sure why, but that is that. I want you to know we are here. That other families are here! I wish I could explain it better.

Today Rob was off. I took Remy in for her 15 month check-up. Just one shot. Yay. She is 100n all ways. Height. Length, weight. She is the picture of true health. Just a little low on Iron. Which would explain why she loves to eat dirt. It is called Pika. Lesly said she would outgrow it. Just some kids have this. And she really is not that low on iron.
Intersting. Brianna was and is still tiny for her age. Has only been sick twice ever. Aizee has been in the middle of the growth curve until cancer knocked her off onto her own curve. But she is now back in the middle. Right where a 3 year-old should be on all aspects. Remy is above it a little. Rob was off today. We took the girls for a nice walk by the river and stuff. It was nice. Later, played outside until it rained. They are all in bed now except for Remy. She had a late nap and now is being a little stinker. Brianna is a Pixie, Aisalynn is an Imp and Remy is a Sprite. All small and mischievious. Beautiful little darlings that I love so much it hurts.
I wish there was no fear of pain. I wish I could garantee that they would always be safe.
Darn it. Why wasn't I warned that being a mommy could hurt so much! My heart aches. BUT, it is so worth it. I would never not want to go through this if the alternative meant that I would not have them.
Oh, haha. Today, Brianna told me that she could not do chores everyday! Oh, poor little Cinderella. Had to put her panties in her drawer and pick-up her toys.
Oh, and scrub toilets and clean the garage and the oven. HAHA, ya right! That is what she had to do to hear her tell it!
Aizee is really into hugs and kisses and dancing around. Oh, and Play-doe. Remy is into whatever her sisters are into. And singing into microphones. It is adorable. Oh, and she has such a temper! I mean, MAN! Look-out!
I will stop here. Thank-you for visiting us and for all the lovely entries into the guest-book. Have a Yippee day!

Remembering that September is Childhood cancer Awareness month. And, Remembering those who were hurt on 9/11.
Peace.

Monday, September 8, 2003 9:54 AM CDT

Mud Puddles are a good cure for saddness.
Maybe it is the seasonal change. Or maybe it was the fact that I watched several home videos on Saturday. I was sad yesterday. So much is different now from then. I mean, I know that goes for anyone regardless. Kids grow and learn new stuff. Families evolve. That is how life works.
But, having a child with cancer warps the changes. Changes how a family evolves and grows. Warps it. Puts it into a whole different diminsion. Makes everything so different.
One change I realized was how anal I have become. I watched when Brianna was a baby. And Aizee pre-cancer. Typical kids, doing small kid stuff. Getting into everything. Being in everything. Playing in whatever mess they could create. Wrestling around. Hot-tubs, pools, parks. Rides. Mud puddles. the works.
Then, Aizee got sick. She couldn't even get into a bath-tub for months. Due to her PIC line. She loves baths. In order not to upset her, I would have to sneak Brianna into the tub when Aizee was sleeping, or occupied by daddy. She hated sponge baths and I was always making sure her arm never got wet. Infection worried me. Plus, all the new stuff I didn't ever really want to learn. Platelets, White counts, Red counts, and what each of those mean with it's own individaul numbers. ANC, differentials, lymphacites, the works. Plus, the drugs and all of their side-effects. One can cause hearing damage, one can cause seizers, this one can do this this one that. Look for fever. Oh, and her steroid will make your child look like a mutated cabbage patch kid. NO KIDDING!!! I am glad we took photos of it all. I mean, those first months on Dex, WOW!
I got so germ-a-phobic. Our dynamics changed. I viewed the world as potential harm.
Couldn't take the kids to the grocery store, or anywhere for that matter because that first year, she had no ANC. She got her Broviack because the PIC line was bothering her arm. That was better. Now she could get into the tub a couple times a week. :) She and Brianna love taking baths together. I tried bathing them sepearately and no way. They did not like that. Fine by me. But, it was a summer with no water play.
When Brianna was a baby, we went to The Little Gym. She loved it. She was so social and both of us made great friends with other mommies and their kids. When Aizee was born, it got a little complicated trying to play and do the activies with Brianna, and keep an eye on the baby. It was a schedualing thing. The class happend to be right when Aizee wanted to nurse and snuggle. I then enrolled Brianna into a little pre-school so that she could have a different environment to go to. To make friends and learn new things. She loved it. Plus, during her last few months there, Aizee and I could walk her to school. That was fun. Then, it got too expensive, so I to take her out. Some Montisorri schools around here decided they needed to triple their tuitions. That was okay, that was right when we lived in Park City. So, us girls went swimming and played in the park every day. And I took them up to Main Street every couple of days for Ice cream. That fall, I enrolled Brianna into the pre-school I had worked at when I met Rob. I did a trial run with Aizee. That was more for 2 small things, one being she seemed to want to stay everytime I took Brianna, and so I could do laundry. We lived in a condo with the washing machines in the base ment. And they were always full at night, but not during the day. Trying to cart down a big laundry basket and an infant did not seem like an easy task.
But, Aizee only lasted two half-days. That was fine with me. She and I played and visited daddy while Brianna played with her friends. 3 half-days a week. We where planning on moving out of state, but my old neck break needed surgery. So, we found a house to rent. It had a nice yard that I was excited to keep-up. The girls where at the age where I could turn on a sprinkler and they could play while I did yard work. That sounded fun to me.
After my surgery, I found out I was pregnant. I was worried because I had been on a lot of medications. Plus, the surgery was 41/2 hours long. My doc said it was the longest neck surgery he has ever done. I got cadaver parts and titanium. So, I was afraid that the baby was damaged.
Around this time, it seemed that Aizee was always sick. You thought the word sick and she got sick. One thing after another. And moody.
That was a terriable time. Right before Christmas of 2001,we came home from somewhere. I still can't remeber where we had been. My folks, Eduardo's huse, where, but right when we came in and I set Aizee down on the couch and she started to scream. No matter what I did, she just screamed. She acted like her tummy hurt. I was told to give her an enima. That was awful. Laxitives, etc. She went into the e.r. they did a tummy x-ray. They said it looked like she had a stomache virus. Her cbc had a high white count.This went on for months. I had friends tell me I was doing this or that wrong. No one believed me. They thought I was exaggerating. I even had a doctor accuse me of Muhnchhausen by Proxy.
Then there were times she would scream all night. I would take her into her doctor and she would be happy -go-lucky and they would just look at me and roll their eyes. I started to think it was me, the house, somthing. There were those who thought I only wanted one child. Brianna has only been sick two times her entire life. That is it. She never did anything like this. I mean, she could play in water all day, run through cow fields, etc and was always fine. Aizee on the other hand seemed to always be sick. Got tired very easily, etc. I chalked it up to temperment.
Then some thought Aizee liked the attention and comotion that she caused. A learned behaviour. I was told she stopped walking because I always carried her. I carried her because she wouldn't walk. I tried to get her to walk and she would just stand there and cry.
I could go on and on. Sorry that I already have.
So, after viewing home movies, and seeing pre-cancer, and taking a look now, at life in real time, I realized how different our life is. Way beyond simple family evolution.
One thing is mud puddles.
I used to always let the girls splash in any puddle they found anytime. It was fun. Maybe I was unfair, because I wouldn't let Brianna anymore either after diagnosis. I was afraid her good health would not last. And, I didn't want Aizee to feel left out.
Yesterday, I felt so out of the loop and sad. Then I saw a huge mud puddle in our driveway. It is a gravel driveway. Huge puddle. I decided, what the hey? I let the girls wallow in this giant puddle and it felt great. Even Remy got into the action. She sat in it with Brianna. Aizee splashed a bit and loved dropping rocks into it. They did this for over an hour. So, I realized now that Aizee is in maintenance and will be all done by 2004, I need to start easing up and not be so paranoid. That will always be there, I just need to not let it rule my life as much as it had.
Taking kids into a grocery store can seem like a chore for many, but for us, it is a preasent. One that signals that we are still alive and living life. And that is fun. That is what counts. For us anyway. I will stop rambling now.
Thank-you for visitng us. Before you go, could you please visit Katia. She is still very sick in need of a donor, in the hospital. Max is in the haspital. Katelynn is out of remission again. Christina is in the hospital.
Any child you can visit and just at least say hi to would be wonderful. Thank-you. Have a Yippee day. Splash in a puddle when you see one. :)

Saturday, September 6, 2003 10:11 AM CDT

Aizee is so happy right now. Daddy found her Bear in The Big Blue House pull-ups. Now she is running around in a shirt and a pull-up. She just likes the pictures. Her vincristine makes her pee way too much and too fast to be able to make it to the potty.
But, she will be through all of this by May of 2004. Less than a year. :)
So, yesterday...we were in the yard. It had been cloudy all morning. It was a pleasent fall type of day. Then two events happened. One was, I see Aizee has somthing odd in her hand. I was like hmmm, what does she have? I open her hand and IT WAS A MANGLED MOUSE!!!!! EEK! Taz must have had a partial snack or somthing and she found it. I took it by the tail and flung it over our fence. Then washed both of our hands in soap and hot water. Actually, her sisters as well. Then I called the clinic. The, ( I have no idea how to spell this, so I will just wing it)Hounta virus was big around here. I just wanted to make sure that there was no threat. Nope. Just had to look for fever, which we do anyway.
The second thing was there were NO greasshoppers at all. IT was very quiet. A bit eery. I mean, every day for months, the entire yard was infested. You could not even take one step without about a few hundred jumping everywhere. Just one Hopper that Brianna found half alive on a branch. It was weird. But, later, we got hit by a huge hail storm. Stones the size of ping-pong balls. BIG LIGHTNING AND LOUD THUNDER. Quite the storm. If we had lost a tree or more, I would not have been suprised. We lost power a few times. I guess that explains where the grasshoppers went. Into hiding to avoid being pelted.
Aizee took a nap during the entire storm. Brianna played dress-up and Remy made a mess.
We are off the grand parents house soon. Aizees next clinic appointment is on the 11th. Remy gets her 15 month check-up on Tuesday.
Aizee loves walking and running everywhere on her tippy-toes. She is talking more and more. Very vocal about what she thinks, what she wants, everything. When she and her sisters are not arguing and bugging one another, they are having a blast playing. I LOVE IT! I LOVE THEM!!
Before I go, please visit Katia who is still in the hospital and Christina. And Max. His link is not above because I can seem to get it to work. Just keep him in your prayers. Along with so many others. Than-you so much.
Thank-you for visiting us. Have a Yippee day. :)

Less than a month to our trip. I am very nervous and excited!

Thursday, September 4, 2003 11:14 AM CDT

Hello there. Christina got her chord blood a few days ago. She loves letters and notes and such. So please go visit her. Also, Katia is still in the hospital in need of a donor. She also enjoys letters and such!
Both of their links, along with many other childrens are found above.
Yesterday Rob was home, so he got his share of kids. They love when he is home. They like to jump on him and get tickled and stuff. I get snubbed. Only daddy can do whatever needs to be done. Until they get mad about somthing. It is fun.
I am now the Green Eggs and Ham expert. I have read that book for both nap time and bed time for months now. I can quote this book in my sleep. I have even bagan making a silly opera out of it. I sing it a different way each time now. I even try to see if I can read it faster than I did the time before. What is really fun is that Brianna tries to word it along as well. SHe is my back-up vocals. But it is fun and they LOVE this book. I don't mind it. At least it has a rhythem to it. There are some books that are a disjointed read that makes it very difficult to read over and over.
I tried to read Goodnight Opus last night. I got to read that, then was reminded that I still needed to read "Hawm'. So, I read that too. Oh, and FuzzyTail Farm. A little flip book. Funny whaat catches kids attention. I mean, they have A TON of books. FOr some reason, the last few months, those two books are the only ones they will pick. Oh well.:)
The other night was a bit freaky. Aizee woke from a sound sleep just SHRIEKING around 2a.m. " MY HEAD MY HEAd!"
See, this is confussing because she loves to wear crowns and headbands. She calls them her heads. So, I was trying to figure out if she was upset about a headband or somthing or if her head hurt. She screamed and screamed. No fever or anything. Then, she just fell back to sleep. So, who knows. Bad dream? What? No repeat performance so that is good.
Aizee is so into carrying so much stuff atround. Her little arms are always full. The Brave Little Toaster movie is a must. Then a few stuffed animals. Her sippy cup. Sometimes two. Then other odd and ends. A ribbon or two, maybe a little people. Other things. And believe me, she keeps track at all times. It is cute, but it can get trying. Like, trying to get her into the bathroom to brush her teeth. She needs to arrange it all on the counter, then after the brushing, trying to get it all back into her arms again.Up and down stairs is an adventure in itself. Trying to play outside can get rough. There was a time when I could get her to put it all in a big bucket and carry that around in one hand, so it is all contained and she had some freedom to play. She doesn't do that anymore. It is too hard trying to figure her out at times. As long as she is happy and her sisters as well,then all is good.
Brianna discovered that we have a plum tree in our yard. The plumbs are not ripe yet to eat. She asks me to check everytime we are outside. She is so excited. It is a dwarf tree, so of course the fruit is smaller, and it is harder to tell. Oh, and now she has discovered the large black and yellow winged grasshoppers. The ones that are the size of a giant butterfly. She asks me everytime we are out to catch one for her. So, that is most of my outside mission. To run around like a loony with a net trying to catch a giant grasshopper. Those things can haul fast! And, for long distances. BUt I always manage to get one. She is pretty good with them and she always lets them go when it is time to come in.
Remy is a big dirt eater. It drives me crazy. Brianna alwasy ate tissue as a baby. Her ped. said it was basically fiber and it was nothing to worry about. Aizee never did eat any odd stuff. But Remy loves mud, dirt, sand, leaves, whatever. I prefer a tissue or nothing eater to that! Plus, she bites. YOu try getting a rock out of her maw and look out! She is a great fit thrower. But she is always knocking her head on somthing. I am seriously considering getting her a crash helment! She is so into everything her sisters do. Oh, and she is a big noticer of animals and bugs. She loves being at the fence and chatting to the dogs. They have their own seperate yard. Anyone out there want a dog? We have 4. They are the best dogs on the planet, but due to Aizee being sick, they have not had the best of lives. They are kept seperate from the family. I hate that and I want them to have better lives. Just the friends of animal network around here is pretty shady. Also, we live in the country and there are those who are not very kind to their pets.
Anyway, Remy loves our cat too. Oh, and Jackle,the Magpie decided he wanted to leave, so he did. Brianna cried all that night. Aizee seems a bit indifferent, but Remy always points to where he stayed when he lived with us and asks "Bir?"
Well, that is it for now. I hope you get a chance to visit other kids. Thank-you for visiting us and for the great things in our guest-book. Have a Yippee day!
Oh, and I have not changed my hair color yet.
And, I did put some different pictures on here. Not new ones. I have like 6 rolls of film that need to be developed. I am great at taking pictures, but awful at getting them developed. One day, we may be able to afford a digital camera. So, I can take shots and instantly plug them in here. But, that day is not today, or anytime soon.:)

Oh, and they got the movie, James and the Giant Peach! They love that movie!

Tuesday, September 2, 2003 9:15 AM CDT

Brittany Zipter earned her wings this morning at 1:15a.m.
Please visit her family and place words of comfort in the guest-book.:(
She fought for so long and so hard. Her brave story is in the journal history on her page. Actually, all of these children have brave battle stories. Anyway, this is just awful.

Aizee has a rash and a fever today.
We went to my parents house yesterday. They had a pretty mellow day of play. We took a walk down the road. Remy walked all by herself and refused to turn around. I wonder how far she would have walked had we let her.
Aizee and her sisters had a huge tea party. It is adorable watching all 3 of them playing together. 3 little blond heads around a little table, making a fun, huge mess with water and ice!:)
My dad found the 2nd Toaster movie. The Brave Little Toaster Goes to Mars. Now all we need is the 3rd toaster movie and we are all set.
Please keep Katia and Christina in your prayers. Christina goes in for her BMT today. Katia is still in need of a donor.

Sunday, August 31, 2003 8:59 AM CDT

****Added at 10:52p.m. Obviously I have fallen behind in reading caringbridge sites. Tommy has passed away on 8/19/03. His link can be found above. He was such a fighter. Please, give his family words of comfort. Thank-you.*******


Please visit Brittany. She went home on hospice care. Her family are still praying for a miracle. Her mothers cancer has come out of remmission as well. She had surgery and from that last up-date, was doing okay, just in pain. For their story, please visit their page. And give them prayers.
Katia is in the hospital in need of a BMT but there has been no match. Please visit them to give them prayers as well, and to find the info on how to join the bone marrow registry. So many lives can be saved by this one little thing. Thank-you.
Christina is in the hospital.
There are so many. Please, visit who you can. Any and all hellos and kind words are so much appreciated. Thank-you.

This morning, I feel like I have been hit by a truck! Oh, the muscle pain! There is nothing like going to a water park and carrying kids and stuff around to show you just exactly how out of shape you are! Oh my! They had a blast though.
See, thre is a thing called The Rubber Ducky Derby. It is a fund-raiser for the Make-A-Wish foundation. It was like a big party . It was fun. I know as the girls get older, they will get more into it. Aizee was in the little parade at the end. Each child got to carry 2 ducks and give them to Puddles, the mascott. A big duck with a Make-A-Wish shirt on. Then these ducks were dumped into a little water river for " The final Heat". The winners of that got the prizes. I am not sure, but I think one of the ducks Aizee had won the car!
Then there was pizza with brownies and watermellon. Crafts and clowns. These clowns were silly. Really good-one liners. Oh, and the Animal balloons. The girls thought that was most awsome. But all of us parents know how those balloons go. POP!
So, then off to the water slides. Well, first, got little life jackets and a double tube. The wave pool first. Can you say FREEZING!!! OH my heck! I mean, okay, it has been 100 all summer. Then, it rained the past few nights. So, of course when this derby happens, the water had been cooled significantly! But, the girls were not going to be detered. My mom came too to help with Remy. They had fun. There are several slides at Raging Waters. Brianna spotted 2 of the largest. White Lightning and Blue Thunder.
So, up all the millions of stairs. She was a bit pooped at the top. You know how it is hard to judge which slide to go down? Well, we went down the one that had the shortest line. Oh, that was why the line was so short. It was WAY zippy. I mean, just myself, I would not worry about crashing. But, man, going down a very fast water slide that has leaps and bounds with a tiny 4 year-old is a different experience. When we hit the pool at the bottom, I put my hands in the water to slow the craft. It tipped Brianna out. She came to the top to meet a cheering crowd. There was a huge crowd of teenagers. Not sure if they were high-school or college. Anyway, they were mightely impressed with this little girl going down that slide. You could literally see Brianna puff out with pride. It was great.
Aizee aparently wanted to go because when Brianna and I went back up the stairs, we saw Rob and Aizee. Then Aizee wanted me, so we traded kids. I ended up carrying her all the way up along with the raft. I took Aizee down the calmer one. She seemed to like it, but not enought to go down it again. Plus, she was freezing so she and I spent a long time in the giant hot tub. Then, Remy needed to nurse, so my mom, Rob and the tow girls went into this little kid water play area where the water was not frozen, and played. After 20 minutes or so my mom brought a shivering Aizee to warm up in some towels. She was so cold, but demanded to get back to the water. After Remy was done nursing, I took Aizee into the hot tub again. Then Rob and Brianna went down the fast slide a few more times. Then Brianna wanted to do the shot-gun. This is a quick and short slide with a huge drop to the pool below. I asked the life-guard and she said I needed to go first, wait by the side, then swim to Brianna when she landed. That worked. Brianna did it and loved it.
Oh, and the bathing suit I was wearing I will not wear again! NOt water park safe. See, the last swimming suit I have bought was right after Brianna was born. She and I took Mommy and Me swim classes and such. And, it works to wear into my parents hottub when they play there. I needed one to wear yesterday so my mom loaned me one of her older ones. It is more a 'tanning' suit than a swimming suit.:)
Very low-cut in the chest. Plus, with big boobs due to nursing. MAde for an intersting time.With kids always tugging at the front. Aizee found this funny. Especially going up the stairs to the water slide. haha. Anyway,
We spent a few hours there, and around 5 or so decided it was time to go. We grabbed some Wendy's on the way home.
Dropped my mom off at her house. My dad enjoyed Relaxing all day. We had to grab and Aizee prescription on the way home. Got them home and let them finnish their food. Then it took awhile for them to go to sleep. Up bright and early this morning. Me too. Well I am up but not very bright. The girls are just the same this morning. Arguing and such as usual. :)
It was fun. I kept tearing up during the announcers explanations for the Derby. I mean, if it wasn't for donations and stuff, we would not have the trip we are planning for in October. For such things to exist for kids like Aizee and her family. I appreciate it SO much. Then I am sad that there has to be such organizations. That there are sick kids in the first place.
Anyway, thank-you for visiting us. Please have a fun and safe Labor day Weekend.
Have a Yippee day!

Friday, August 29, 2003 10:26 PM CDT

Hi out there.
Well, man, it seems like too many things going wrong with too many kids! I mean, one is too many.
Katia is relapsed and no bone marrow match:(. Started back on chemos and the such. Christina is relapsed.
So many others struggling rihgt now. Surgeries, illness, the like. So, if you get a moment, please go visit who you can and when you can. All entries are appreciated in the guest-books.

Well, Aizee has seemded to feel okay. A bit whiney, but who knows. Tommorow is the Rubber Ducky Derby for Utah. Never been to one before. I am excited to be able to take the girls to a water park. My kids are all part fish. They love water. Last year was very hard. Due to Aizees broviack, she was not allowed to even play in a sprinkler. Baths were allowed no more than 3 times max a week. But, the pic line was worse. She could not even get into a bath tub.
This year, she has that neat port-a-cath and her counts seem to be fine.
The kids take a bath EVERY single night. Plus, as much water play as one can cram into a day. Their first time to a water park will be memeriable! Rob and my mom are going as well.
It is raining big time here right now. All day. Neat storms in the mountains. Lots of bright lightning and big thunder.
One of our dogs who is a huge rug, jumped thier gate and came to see us in bed. She is terrified of storms. Poor baby. The girls just sleep right through it.

Oh, here is a funny story! So many, it is hard to sort out which ones to share. I was taking advantage of the mellow day and trying to catch up with putting away the laundry. Laundry right out of the dryer usually takes up residence on our big comfy chair in the living room. So, I am watching bad tv and sorting laundry. The girls are in the play-room. I hear Brianna giving Aizee words to repeat. Like she would say " Say Blue's clue's" Aizee would say " Bwues cwues" etc. " Say Purple " " Puwple " etc. Not only was it adorable to hear this. Brianna being the helpful big sister and Aizees renditions of words, but anytime she could not or didn't want to repeat a word, she would say " Poke' mon" HAHA. Okay, we don't watch Poke' Mon here. Don't have the station that carries it.
Brianna and Aizee caught it a few times while we were in R.T.U. ( Rapid Treatment Unit). So, not only was that funny, but when and why she would say it. Kids and their imaginations! I love it.
Oh, and an argument they had about one time Aizee pooped in the bathtub. A few weeks after it happened, Brianna brought it up at the dinner table. How appropriate huh? Good talk about poop while eating. ANyway, she was like " AIzee, you pooped in the tub!" Aizee " NOOOOO!"
Brianna " Yes you did!" Aizee " HAHA!"
Oh, it was at my folks house, during a barbeque!
I could go on and on about all of this!
I willwrite more later.
I owe some letters to people and I am off to read and sign others books!
Much Prayers, Love and Hugs to you from us! Have a Yippee day!
Thank-you for visiting us!

Tuesday, August 26, 2003 11:00 AM CDT

*********UP-Date*********
I just got an e-mail from Tracy. Katias mommy. Katia has relapsed. In her spinal fluid. She is going in to get her cath back in. Tracy is understandably upset. Please, pray for this family and visit her page.
Thank-you.



Hello out there. Please go visit Priyanka's family. She passed away yesterday. She fought very hard for a long time.
Brittany's mom surgery went well, Though she is still in pain. Brittany has bounced back.
Jessica is in the hospital and Christina and her family are getting prepared for her BMT.
ConorFord is in need of prayers as well.
So many. Thank-you for visiting us and whoever else you can take a moment to visit. It is very much appreciated.

Last night I had to pull out Aizees ng because it was blocked and I could not even do an air check. So, putting in another one tonight is on the agenda. It is one thing when she throws it up. That happens and it is no ones fault. And, she at least knows to expect another one. This is the first time I have had to pull one. That is just how it goes I guess.

After the most adorable scene with Brianna and Remy, I have decided to have a camera on me at all times!
It was so cute. I was sunscreening Brianna. I do all 3 from head to toe. Just use sunscreen like baby lotion. That way I know they are fully covered. Also, when they decide to strip down to play in the water, they are all set!
So, Remy kept coming up to Brianna and giving her these huge hugs! It was so cute! Also, Remy is at the age of open mouth kisses. So, she goes to give you a kiss and you get slimbed. Brianna is very tolerant of this. Aizee is not. She goes "OOOH! Wemy all wet! "
Then Remy discoverd Brianna's belly button. She kept poking at it while I am trying to sunscreen around her. Then she found Briannas boobies. Now that was an interesting conversation. Listening to Brianna explain to Remy about boobs. How hers are little because she is not a mommy. Etc.
It was fun. I wish I had my camera to take a picture of them hugging. And a recorder for that conversation!
Aizee is obsessed with The Brave Little Toaster movie. She carries it around EVERYWHERE with her. In fact, we had a big blow-up last night at bathtime because I would not let her take it in the tub with her. She sleeps with it, she eats with it. She does not watch it as much as she used to, but this movie is her security thing for some reason. Maybe because it is the one movie she has never viewed while in the hospital? Who knows. I just try to keep it out of harms way since it seems to have disappeared from stores. So, an extra one is out of the question.

Aizee is playing on their computer, Remy is playing with one of the organs. She is like a little Diva. Yelling into the mic! Brianna is playing with her dancing woodshop Santa. It is intersting what kids attach to.
Thank-you for visitng us and you kind words. Much Love and Hugs to you from us. Have a Yippee day.

Monday, August 25, 2003 11:44 PM CDT

Yet another brave and beautiful child has passed away. Please, Visit Priyanks page and pray for her family. She fought so hard for so long. I am speecheless right now.
There are so many kids and their families.

Brittany and her mother are doing okay. That is good. Please pray for everything to be fine for Katia who goes in for a bone marrow and the like tommorow.
I love roller coasters in the amusement park. When your life is one, it loses its novelty.
\Jackie is in the hospital. Christina is getting ready for her BMT.
Heck, if you get the chance, please visit these families.

Aizee is doing okay. It is here and there. She had another fever. But, hey, she always does. She seemed lively so I didn't worry. Her NG was clogged tonight. I did not replace it. I will tommorow though. I mean, it is one thing if she throws it up. She knows what to expect. But, for her to be all set for bed and I can not get the syringe to push air for a stomache check. Then yank it and replace it. Well, I know she would be like what the heck was that about? So, I pulled it out just so she would not have this disconnected tube in bed with her. She was a little upset about it. But since I did not cram a new one down her throat, she got over it. I feel horriable because this is my fault. I have not been as good about flushing it with water when she is done like I should have been. So, my stupididty has caused her undue discomfort. I need a big L over my head now. It would suite how I fee about now.

I will stop now. Thank-you for visitng us. Take care. Love, prayers and Hugs to you from us.

Saturday, August 23, 2003 10:12 PM CDT

Hey out there. Well, the Orkin guy came. He was nice, but I feel bad. I am not one for killing things. And, I found out that spiders are hard to kill. They can close their respitory systems and walk through poison. So, the exterminating is aimed at their food source in hopes that the spider gets hungry and leaves. I mean, nature is what it is. If bugs stay outside, or away from us for the most part, then I have no problem with them. Live and let live. But, in order to try and get rid of these spiders, now almost everything has been anihilated. Lady bugs :(, Grasshoppers:(, crickets. etc. I was under the impression that they could just get rid of the spiders. I am afraid of birds eating these poisoned bugs and dying. But he told me that is unlikely. I don't know. I do know that I won't ever want to do this again. I may be weird about feeling bad about the death of bugs, but well, that is just me.
It would be different if they could just come in and get rid of the big spiders. I haven't seen one since yesterday, so maybe it was a good thing. Only time will tell.

So, yesterday, the girls played outside a bit. Then Aizee wanted inside. They played with ther RoseArt fundough set that she got from Gunnar and Anders. I hope to get her birthday party pictures up soon!
They had fun with that. Then usual, lunch, nap, more play. Inside though since it was pouring out. That is good. We need the rain.
Today, we went to my folks. They had bought them a full sized trampoline. The kind that has the net all around the outside. They LOVED IT!!! Remy wanted in and so I was in there too. She had fun, but it was hard because the other two want to jump and run and she would get bowled around on her head and stuff. So, those two got out for a snack and she tore around there by herself and had a blast.When those two got back in, I took Remy in for a nap. I spent the afternoon watching a series about the 70's on VH1. That is a fun station to watch.
Then, when Remy woke-up, she wanted back to the trampoline. I found out that the girls had played in it another hour when we went in. Then the hot tup, then the trampoline for another few hours. That is a lot of playing. Especially for Aizee. I am happy she has energy again! That is wonderful. But, I do not want her to exhaust herself.
We had dinner. Brianna wanted to eat on the deck, but there were bee's. And these bees where small and fiesty. Usually, you can shoo a bee away. Not these bees. So, we went inside.
Dinner, jammies, car ride home. Now they are in bed.
Aisalynn seems to be feeling better. Finally stopped whining. I am patient with it, but man, it can give one such a headache! She has energy and seems to be back to her Impy ways! YAY! Fingers crossed it stays that way!
She is talking a lot. Whole sentences. There are times she sounds identical to Brianna. Tone, influcton. Etc.
Keeps me on my toes!
Remy is right there doing exactly what she sees her sisters doing. It is almost like having Triplets. With them all being so close in age and imitating one another constantly. It is fun. I would not trade any of this for anything in the universe!
Next Saturday we are planning on going to The Rubber Ducky Derby. I gave the forms to my dad to see if he could find anyone interested in sponsoring some ducks. But, I gave them to him kind of late. So, we shall see.
Thank-you for visiting us and for signing the guest-book! We read the entries daily to Aizee.
Please take a moment to visit other children when you can.
Thanks. Our love and hugs to you and yours from me and mine. Have a Yippee day!

Oh, and I had attempted to add more links to this page, but the computer froze. I will try and re-do them tommorrow. So, look for those. If you have a kids page link you want added here, just put it in the guest-book and I will add it as soon as I can!
And if you don't want a link here, just tell me! Thanks!

Thursday, August 21, 2003 10:41 PM CDT

Hello out there! Well, Brittany is doing a bit better and so is Priyanka. However,they are not out of the woods yet. Please visit and pray for them and thier families. ALong with tne several other children out there. So many!

We are getting an exterminator here on Saturday. Let me tell you this story, then, back-up to the party fun!
Okay, last night. It is late. Rob and I are in the kitchen. I look over and see this HUGE spider. I mean, it is the size of a small tarantula! I am not usually afraid of spiders, but, I could imagine if this one ran away, I would be scared all night! Rob got it with a shoe. Okay, that was a little freaky, but no big deal. Until this morning.
See, my mom had orderd all three girls little pink and white checkered chaise lounges from Lilies kids magazine. Each has their name embrodered on a pillow. Etc. They even have their own entertainment center,which has been great with how much Aizee rests all day. All of this is in their paly-room. The carpet is buber( sp?) a mix of browns and grey, etc. Burber is odd carpet. Anyway, as Brianna is heading to her chair, this movement catches my eye. ANOTHER huge spider, running at her, not away! Aggressive! I picked her uop and tossed her to the other side of her chair. NOt hard or anything, just out of the way of this charging spider. Remy is behind me and Aizee next to me. I trapped the spider in one of their movie boxes after pushing those two away. Then I got it with a little people plane. Rob got another one with his shoe again. Later, I got another one with the little people bus. Thank goodness for Fischer Price and their tough toys!
So, I looked up Utah Spiders. And pictures. Okay, there are two identical spiders. One is the HOBO and the other is a plain brown, house spider. They look exactly alike. Unless you flip them over and look at their strnums. Ya, right! That is the first thing I am going to do! HAhA. Oaky. oh, and the house spider does not attack. It runs. The attacking mode is the hobo thing. And, they are very poisonous. The thing is, if you bother them, they give you a dry bite, no venom, but the bite can cause other problems. Either way, I am not messing around here. I am not afraid for me, but the kids. Digging in a toy box and bam! Remy is so little, any hting that moves, she wants to grab anyway! YIKES! Aizee, well, with a compromised immune system, that is another yikes. Brianna, well, okay, YIKES all the way around. So, the exterminator lady told me that due to the drought, HOBOS are really bad this year. Oh, joy. I explained about Aizee and my fear of chemicals. They don't use sprays and there is no fear for the humans or pets. They have to 'seal' the entire house and use a deterent spread, etc. Kind of detailed and complicated. Needless to say, by mean spiders. I am not one for killing anything, but a big spider that tries to get you, well, that is not okay!

Her party went great. She had a blast. She was mellow, but in a happy way. Brianna was wild and seemed more excited than Aizee! Remy really got into the balloons!
It was funny. Last year,when Aizee was in the hospital and the Nursing staff, along with Child Life and some techs sang her Happy Birthday, she tried to hide and watch her Care Bears movie instead. She did the same this year. Just ducked down and was very shy. What a cutie.
Lets see, Anders and Gunnar from next door came, (the party was at my parents house) Val from Robs work came and brought her niece Aubrie. All the kids played very well together. Aizee ate some pizza and one bite of Ice Cream. Mint M&M. No cake though. :( But she really loved all of her presents. So did Brianna. I need a second house just for toys! It was a late night and everyone crashed right when we got home.
She had a Mystical Unicorn theme.
Today, she still has her fever and cough. In fact, she whined SO much today! Everytime Brianna touched a toy, Aizee would freak for it. I am exhausted from all the peace keeping! It was a big day for WHINE, from Aizee. That can get very wearing. Also, I tried the big feat of trying to organize the play-room. HAHA! Ya, right!
I want to tell everyone THANK-YOU for her wonderful well wishes! They are so appreciated! She seems to really enjoy being Three!
Well, I am off to bed now! Much Hugs and love from me and mine to you and yours!
Have a Yippee day!

Tuesday, August 19, 2003 9:55 PM CDT

*****ADDED AFTER I WROTE THIS JOUNAL ENTRY******

PLEASE! Go to Britanys Link and PRAY for this family. She is in much pain, and may not have much time left. On top of that, her mothers cancer has come out of Remission! This family needs a serious miracle! Please, pray for them. Place words of encouragement in the guest-book. Or, at least just read the Zipters family journal. So you know they exist! Thank-you.



Oh, four hours in the hospital, no biggie. They are not too sure what is up. Man, her white count dropped big time. From over 4000, to about 1900. WOW! Her RBC is still low, but her platelets are good. A little over 300. So, her reds are down, but so is the white. She got some Rosephen before we left. And tommorow, we will see what happens with the cultures. They can see she is not feeling good. But, they can't quite pin-point what is going on. At least now they are taking us seriously and have seen how she coughs and cries. She tried to fake them out by being all hyper, but she could not keep up the act for long, on top of not being able to hide her cough. Poor thing. Oh, and the fever. They saw too how it went way high to normal. Then high again. So, the wait and see thing, again.
Here is a funny story. Okay, we are infested with grasshoppers. It is amazing how many are in our yard. You walk through it and they jump and fly by the hundreds. No biggie. The kids love to catch them. Aizee had had one on the way to the oncology clinic. I thought she had dropped it. So, while getting her vitals, I saw its little head poking out of her fist. Usaully she holds them too tight and they are snuffed, yet she holds onto them. Well, I saw this one wiggle. So, she had this live grasshopper in her little hand in the clinic. The nurses found it funny. It was her pet and its name was Hopper. Okay, back out to the playroom while a room was made ready for her. There is the art table manned by the Adopt-a-GrandParent, AKA. Pink Ladies. These two are the same that are there everyday. Anyway, they are nice, but one is a bit grouchy. One is sort of, well, kind of in her memories. I like thes two ladies. Quite the characters. And, they are good at the ideas they come up with crafts. So, they are going through art books looking for ideas for the week, whatever. They are thinking of a bug project. Aizee was right next to her, the grouchy one, with her little hopper, when this lady comes across a picture of a grasshopper and she is like " YIKES! I hate Grasshoppers!" Man, I knew if she spotted the one in Aizees hand, who knows what would have happend, so I tactifully moved Aizee away and tried to distract her with a book. Then, she spotted an older girl with M&M's, and promptly relinquished her prize pet for a bag of candy. I took the little mauled, but still alive hopper to a tree in a safe spot outside. Later, when she was done with her candy, she wanted him back. I had warned her first I was taking him outside to let him go. I knew she would not quite understand, still, I tried. She got over it. NO tears or anything. But, she did ask about him on and off. She has gotten over her fear of her port being accessed. She did great. Great she is so strong and brave. Sad because she is so young and little.

Tommorow is her birthday. Now, the day, night actually of her birth was an event. She is one month early. To the date. At 5a.m., August 20th, Brianna had woken up and neede some water. I got up and went to her room. In stepping over her kiddie gate, I noticed my jammie shorts were soaked. Not being quite awake, I ignored it at first. Then, thought, " Oh, my water must have broke..." After taking care of Brianna, I decided to go back to bed. I was tired and I didn't want my water to be broke. It was too early, not only in the morning, but for the date as well. I figured, I could go back to bed and deal with it in the morning. HAHA. Talk about waht a sleepy mind will do huh? I tried to go to sleep, but was wracked with chills and realized I may be going into shock. That is when my mind came to! I was like, wait, my water is broke! I need to do somthing. I woke-up Rob. He was in a panic. We lived in the middle of nowhere then. Much more so than now. Literally. About 35 miles from a town. Or a grocery store. Our closest neighbors where an old couple across the highway. And the cows. And this highway was one of the long forgotten kind. More a rural type of road? Hard to explain. Lots of privacy. Oh, and lots of other wild life. Very beautiful. So, I figure Brianna was sound asleep, she would be more comfortable at home, because I had no clue what to expect in the hospital. I called my folks, who lived about 50 minutes away. They came and Rob took me to the closest hospital. Not the one I was supposed to go to, but that one was almost 2 hours away and I wanted to make sure the baby was going to be OKAY! We get to the Heber hospital and I am almost fully dialated, but no contractions. Seems the baby broke my water and then changed her mind. Little stinker. Showing her true impy ways even before birth!:)
So, Doctor Berg asked what I wanted to do. He could not guarantee we would make it to my original hospital without the baby coming. It may come any moment, or take all day. I figured, if my insurance coverd it, I would stay. Especially after I talked to my other doctors partner who happend to be on duty when I called to see what he thought. This doctor, the partner, not my original doctor was an evil person. He yelled at me for not coming to the hospital I was supposed to. I told him I was afraid for the baby. His words exactly " That is not the point! Who cares? You were supposed to come here regardless!" :O
Who cares? I do! Rob does, these other docs do, etc. NOt the point? Well, if taking care of the baby is not the point? Then what is? I told Doc Berg he had himself a new patient. He is an awsome doctor!
Aizee hung out and refused to be born. I decided to take their suggestion and do the Potosium (sp?) I was starving. They would not let me eat and I get really, REALLY grouchy when I am hungry! The best way to describe this is the FairlyOdd Parents cartoon, the Anniversarry episode, and Timmys mom is waiting for dinner. haha.
Talk about contractions. I had an epidural with Brianna and one with this one too!
So, at 8:33p.m., out came a tiny squiggly, YOWLING baby! 5 pounds 2 ounces. No distress, no problems. Healthy in everyway! Just small. For being a month early, she was in great shape! I got to hold her and have held onto her since! No incubation needed or anything. NO jaundice at all. The only thing that took a bit was her nursing. Brianna had latched right on. NOt Aizee. I had to take a tiny medicine cup and get her to sip that once or twice to prevent nipple confussion. She took to that and got the nursing idea. Even gained 2 ounces before we left the hospital. I will find and scan her baby pictures, and one of Her and New big sis Brianna. Who took to her role like a champ!
I have one main regret. In our worry and rush, we did not grab our camera or camcorder, so her birth was not recorded the same as Brianna's.
But that is how it goes. I have the day fully imprinted in my mind.:)
This has gotten very long, so, I will add more about her life in another entry. I will say this though...3 years does not seem like a long time. But for me, it seems like two different lives have been lived. The then and now. I hope that makes sense?
I hold my kids and love them with my whole entire being. I worship this life. Cancer was not our choice and I hate it. But, I love her and will go through anything I need to to make sure she and her sisters, my husband, my family are okay! No matter how rough it can get, at least we have each other and are all herre for it to be rough. Same with the Great times, boring times, anytime. I hope this makes some sense....
Thank-you for visiting us. Thank-you for the wonderful things written in the guest-book. Thank-you for visitng others.
Our Prayers, Love and Hugs from this me and mine to you and yours!

Have a Yippee day! I know we are going to! YAY! Party time!

Monday, August 18, 2003 5:04 PM CDT

Well, the last few days, Aizee has just layed around and sleeping a ton. She consistantly cries she is tired and cold. The whites of her eyes are blue. She vomited up her ng at 5 this morning. She tries to play, but quickly wears out after 10 minutes or so. She has been unbelievably whiney. Poor miserable child. With a fever. I called her pediatrician, she told me to call the oncologist. He told me to look for her whites to look yellow. Liver failure. Oh, I am just not a bundle of weary, stressed nerves here at all!!!
So, Rob noticed her eyes this morning. They are very dusky in color. Plus, her incessant whining. HE called the oncology clinic. Dan called back. Dan is a super man! He is one of the main people in that hospital I wholeheartedly trust. Also, he has a son with a heart condition. He can speak on our terms. He has a clue.
Guess what? Aizee is suffering from Vinchristine Toxcity. NO one bothered to inform us they amped her dosage up. Nope. No clue. No warning of what to look for or anything. I am just one thrilled puppy to have just learned of this NOW!!! :{
So, I had to give her Tylenol and see if that combats some of her misery. I can't tell yet. I am just really upset about the lack of communication. I mean, she can have convulsions and all sorts of stuff. At least I know what I am dealing with now. Naming the cause helps not be so afraid.
Her 3rd Birthday is on Wednsday. YAY! We are having a Mystical Unicorn Party. Gunner and Aunders will be there. Tete was going to be too, but, they needed to move back to Mexico. I am so sad. So is Rob. Brianna and Tete have been friends since birth. I mean, we have known them over 10 years. It was hard seeing them go.
Anyway, I know she will have a fun party. She is imitating Brianna in singing the Happy Birthday song. It is cute.
Oh, Brianna made her very first Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwhich. SHe did a really good job. And, did not make a mess! Plus, she ate every bite! WOW!~ Little miss independent! Remy has discovered Barney. It is adorable watching her dance to him. She pivots on one foot in a circle while shaking her tiny heinie! Then she does a little knee bend up and down manuver. It is fun to watch.
When Aizee is not coughing and whining and barfing, she has been pretty happy. Tries to be The Imp That she is.
Hopefully the tylenol will do the trick. Sounds so simple huh? Weird how that works.
OH, and Look above at the links. Next to her Quilting Angels Quilt, there is a new link to her NEW Birthday Quilt!
THANK-YOU QUILTING ANGELS!!!!!!!
Please check it out!
Also, there are so many kids out there. Anytime you can visit one a day, that is great. The 4 index links go to a page, select a child, see their beautiful quilt. At the bottom of the quilt is a link to their webpage. If you could drop a little hello or word of encouragement, I know they would love it. Thank-you for visiting us. I hope all is great with you and yours. Many Prayers, Hugs and Love from me and mine to you and yours! Have a Yippee day!


Oh, P.S. This is from 5p.m. tonight. Dan called. She may have a serious thing going on. We have to be in the clinic asap tommorow. I guess vinc. can do terriable things to the bowls and things. His words were " We may be beyond senocot then, she has to come in tommorow so we can check her out..." She is only going to be three. But she has been to a doctor more than me and my husband combined our entire lives.
I keep thinking, this is wrong. Kids should not hurt like this! I need to stop crying.

Saturday, August 16, 2003 0:28 AM CDT

Hey out there. Please visit Priyank, and Brittany. Both need serious prayers. Well, actually, any of the children and their families that you can visit, would be wonderful.

Well, despite how this morning started, it seems that things are staying steady. Also, Rob and I gor a much needed break. So, I feel much better.
Aizee started the morning with throwing up and crying all morning. Saying she was cold, saying she was tired. I figured I was going to need to cancel our plans, when she perked up and got happy. Just like that. I never have a clue from one hour to the next. No fever and she seemed fine. She was really upset about her ng tube coming up. Because she knows I will just have to stick another one down her throat. I hate that as well. But, we do what we have to do for her to be okay. I figured I 'd do it later.
So, then, Rob got off at eleven today. We drove the girls to my folks house and off to the movies for us. It was so strange going somewhere without them. I kept thinking I was forgetting somthing. It took me a bit to relax. So, the first movie was Pirates of The Caribbean. That movie was so excelleant!!! GO SEE THIS MOVIE!!!! It was spectacular. But, I am not a picky one.
Then, after that one, I called to make sure the kids were okay and to make sure my parents were holding up. No problems. So, off to movie two. haha. I chose Freddy vs. Jason. I have watched both of these googy guys from their start. They just got silliar and silliar. Also, I like terriable horror movies. It was entertaining. YOu would not like it unless you found those two critters intersting.
Then we had dinner at Joe's Crab Shack. It was fun and entertaining. The wait staff stops periodically and does group dancing through the restaurant. It was fun to watch. Plus, there were a lot of birthdays and they make it quite silly. A lot of stuff on the walls and things to examine and read. My favorite was one of a plastic owl next to a puffer fish, labled " Hooty and the Blowfish " haha. We got Snow Crab. It was great. So, Rob and I relaxed and just enjoyed it. It was a wonderful time. Now, after getting a break, I feel a bit better and ready to get back to work as a mommy and all of that fun stuff.:) And, I have a lot of kids pages to catch up on the reading and signing. I am going to go to bed now, so I can start that tommorow.
I want to tell all who visit here THANK-YOU!!!! Your entries are most appreciated!!!
Love, Hugs, and Prayers from this family to yours. Have a Yippee day!

Thursday, August 14, 2003 11:30 PM CDT

Hey out there. Well, please, visit and pray for Priyanka. SHe is not quite out of the woods yet. Also, Britanny, AND her mother. I mean, man. Go there and read todays entry.
I want to apologize to all of you for not signing the guest-books for a few days. I do visit every family. I just am not sure what to write at the moment. So, you are all in my thoughts and prayers. I will get back into my goofy ways soon. So, here is a big {{{{{{HUG}}}}} from me right now.
Okay, well, I know almost all of you know this drill. A lot of waiting. It isn't like I wish this evil on anyone else. But, I wsh sometimes that these doctors had a little more understanding about the toll that these half answerd things can do. I feel a tiny bit better because one of our favorite nurses, who is very competent and understanding actually took the time to explain what is what to us today.
See, we kept asking about the count and others kept saying, well, lets not start worrying yet, ect. Half-a**** answers. Etc. I need to know a paln. I need to know what is going on and why they operate the way they do. What to expect.
Aizees white count is now at 4000!!!!! Okay, in her situation, it needs to be between 1000 And 2000. I kept getting told, maybe it is a virus that her bosy is fighitng off. That would drop all of the other counts and raise this. A little history lesson from me about this. This is exactly what I kept getting told prior to diagnosois Oh, it is a virus. That is why her white count is so high, and all the other numbers are so low. Give it a week or so. MANY months later, after much h***, I even ended up in the hospital my self, I was accussed of Muhnchahausen by Proxy, etc, guess what? Oh, by the way we discoverd your daughter, your life, your preciouse angel has cancer. OOPs, sorry it took about 5 months or so to find this. What finally clued in a doc or two was the rising white count, and the dropping counts of her red cells.
Anyway, the plan now is, go back in a month. CBC and Vinc. Then, again in a month, until her next LP in 3 months from now. Then, they will see what is happening. So, on one hand, now I have sometime to expect questions and answers to be explored. All the while I get to wonder what is going on with her now? I do not want to cause my child any unnessesary pain. But, why can't they just do a smear or bone marrow to just double check and make sure? If it is back, well , they can do somthing now. If it is not, then, what is going on with her? I guess that one evil accusation from a doctor makes me hesitant to ask. Plus, I hate to admitt it, one does get a little worn down. So, I will see what her counts are in one month. Depending, I will either feel more secure, or I am going to really make noise. If the anc goes out of control, there is a problem. They are talking raising the amounts of her drugs. Okay. I just want to make sure she is okay NOW!!
At the clinic, she is energetic, happy and playful. Just like all of those late night, early morning er visits pre dx. They looked at me like I was nuts. 3 a.m., here she is running around having the time of her life. Of course they looked at me like I was nuts. While for hours befor hand and after, she screamed for hours. SO long ago. She cried and cried. NOw, it is happening again. Here I am again. Happy, smiling baby. Playing, acting so healthy. Where at home, once again, no long hours of screaming, but most of the day she is telling me she hurts, she is tired, she is cold. Same daily behaviours pre, just with words now. No long nights yet. Can you blame me for trying to prevent those nights? So, here is the doc, seeing her in great form at the clinic. Me wanting to truely believe that there is nothing to worry about, but knowing as soon as we leave, she will revert. Me wanting everything to be okay, and the docs say it should be, but the numbers are saying somthing different.
Okay, I am done 'ranting' right now. I will just do the wait and see thing. And just go on like we have been. I hope I am being very paranoid due to past experiences. And, next visit will prove that everything is just ducky. Then, I can say, okay, I am a neurotic mom.:)
I will sign every guest-book I read tommorow, instead of just reading and leaving.
Our love and prayers to you all!
Oh, and silly me forgot, Amy, Robs Brothers daughter turned 6 on the 12th. She was born the day of our marriage.
Anyway, I hope all of you have a Yippee day!

Wednesday, August 13, 2003 10:51 AM CDT

Aisalynn went to her very first movie, in a theater yesterday.It was fun.

Okay, so, yesterday, she woke-up and kept complaining she was cold. " I cold mommy, I so cold. " She felt warm to me, but she always does. Rob felt her and said she felt hot. So, her temp was 101.3 great....
So, I called the clinic to see if she could have tylenol since her anc was 2.2. on Saturday. Lori figured they'd just better double check her counts. So, my mom had already planned on baby-sitting Remy. I missed her the second I dropped her off. Too still and quiet without her. So, get to the clinic, all of the usual. Now her anc has shot up to over 3000. Yes, a high anc is not bad. But, this is what happened before diagnosis. Her other counts dropped and that raised. So, Doc. Albrighton, who is really nice, said they'd take a wait and see attitude. I do not want to wait and see. I want to know NOW!!!
So, I am going to wait until her appointment on the 14th, tommorow, to see what her counts are, then, go from there. If it is even higher, then, I am going to really get pushy about another blood smear or somthing. I need answers. Even if just for reassurance. Somthing keeps bugging me. I have been told by a nurse or two that maybe my instincts are a little of because of all the stuff with her. So, maybe I am being overly neurotic. I don't care. She is my kid and I want to make sure she is okay! If she may be having some other thing going on, or a slow relapse, I want to know now and get it taken care of with whatever I need to do for her. Instead of wait until it gets bad. And, if there is nothing going on, That would be most awsome.
Still, though, her mood and her behavior, saying she's tired, cold and very emotional All of that stuff, starts to shawdow from before. I mean, a mom knows her kid. Even if no one else can detect a subtle change, a parent can.
Anyway, so, we got released, though she still had a slight fever. They said she was fine. So, off to the movies. Brianna went to a movie before. She saw the Return to NeverLand when it came out. But Aizee. She has the most expressive eyes and eyebrows. She ususally has her lye (pacifier) in her mouth, so that is all you can see. Her big gren eyes got HUGE! She was so into it. She sat better than Brianna. Go figure huh? She has been trained in being still and stuff. The movie was intense in some parts. Especially for me. I am a hydrophobiac. Thanks to my imagination. So, some of those parts had me about on the edge of my seat. If you have yet to see Finding Nemo, I highly reccomend it. It is a lot more intense and such than Monsters Inc. And more fast paced than IceAge. It was a great film though.
Right when it ended, you hear her tiny voice " AGAIN MOMMY! AGAIN!"
Brianna liked it too.
We were supposed to eat dinner at a theme resteraunt called the Mayan. Has tropical birds, cliff divers and stuff, but, the wait was almost an hour. We had planned on going earlier, before the movie, but her health comes first. There is always another day. Got to my folks house. Remy had had a fun day. I wanted to go back for another movie since I have not been in a theater for so long... but the one I wanted to see started after 10. So, Rob and I will celebrate our anniversarry on another night. Probably Friday, if all goes well tommorow with Aizees appointment. Which, it should. I just need a lot of questions answered.
HEr birthday is coming up fast. Just one week to go!!! I am excited. She is going to be 3! The road getting to that age sure was not what I was expecting. I feel like Bugs Bunny. Must have missed that left at Albequerque. :)
Ohwell, it is all worth it. And what stories packed full of all sorts of stuff to tell and re-tell later in her life!
Please go visit Ashley, Priyanka, Brittany, Christina, and Jackie. I have more links that I want to add here. I will try to get all of that taken care of in the next few day.
Thank-you for visiting us and for all the neat guest-book entries. Thank-you for visitng the many others out there.
Every word of Kindness and encouragement means so much! Thank-you. Love and hugs from this family to yours. Yave a Yippee day.

Tuesday, August 12, 2003 0:03 AM CDT

Before I get into my stuff, please, there are some kids who need prayers. Priyanka, hanging on. Brittany, she has lost the ability to walk, and is in some pain. Anna has had seizures. Christina is relapsing. They all need prayers and words of happiness and encouragement. ANy of them you can visit, including the Quilting Angel index. So many. But, at least one visit a day to someone, that kindness spreads. It does make a difference. Even if you are not sure what to say, just say hello, you realize that they exist, and you realize that now. A prayer, somthing. A cute picture with a hello. You can even remain annonomoyse (sp?) But, I know for a fact how much even the smallest things mean. Stuff like this really connects with everyone.

Well, tommorow is mine and Robs 6th anniverrsary. I am happy about that. Funny how stuff like that gets sort of not thought about when you got so much other stuff going on.
So, here is my thing right now. I had called Kathy, one of Aisalynn's regular pediatrictians. She is a partner with Lesley Webster. I really like both of them. So into the kids. No feeling of being blown-off or rushed. They know you and your kid. So, I had called her Saturday because some of Aizees blood numbers seemed off. I am one who needs reassurance and stuff. Her ball got dropped quite a bit. And, I think that is why I get so anal about every little thing now. So, she called back today. I told her the entire night and read off the numbers. Plus, telling her how she was starting to exhibit the same things she did pre-dx. That is what spooks me the most. Anyone been there understands.
She never EVER followed the norm. No fevers, bruising, any of that. Just SCREAMING EVERY NIGHT!!! NIGHT AFTER NIGHT! I'd take her to the ER night after night just to be told it must be a stomache virus. Her white count climbed and climbed. She was always laying down. Very normal for a 16 month old. Note the sarcasm? Also, she seemed to catch everything down the pike. Like a cronically sick and unhappy baby. Well, she has had difficult nights, and she cries and holds her head, vs her stomache. And she tells me all day, " I tired mommy, I so tired "
So, the plan of attack is, go in on the 14th. And, make the busy oncology doctor answer my questions. Then, she would like that doctor to call their clinic so everyone is on the same page. I hate feeling out of the loop. I hate feeling like I am the most neurotic person on this planet. I wish for a magic wand and wish wonderful health and happiness for all of us!
I need to go now. Being paged by a sad kiddo.
Thank-you for visitng us. Thank-you for the wonderful things in our guest-book. All our Prayers, love and Hugs from this family to all of you!
Have a Yippee day!

Sunday, August 10, 2003 9:53 PM CDT

THE BOX

The story goes that some time ago a mother punished her 5 year old daughter for wasting a roll of expensive gold wrapping paper. Money was tight and she became even more upset when the child used the gold paper to decorate a box to put under the Christmas tree.

Nevertheless, the little girl brought the gift box to her mother the next morning and said, "This is for you, Momma." The mother was embarrassed by her earlier over reaction, but her anger flared again when she opened the box and found it was empty.

She spoke to her daughter in a harsh manner. "Don't you know, young lady, when you give someone a present there's supposed to be something inside the package?"

She had tears in her eyes and said, "Oh, Momma, it's not empty! I blew kisses into it until it was full." The mother was crushed. She fell on her knees and put her arms around her little girl, and she begged her forgiveness for her thoughtless anger.

An accident took the life of the child only a short time later, and it is told that the mother kept that gold box by her bed for all the years of her life. Whenever she was discouraged or faced difficult problems she would open the box and take out an imaginary kiss and remember the love of the child who had put it there.

In a very real sense, each of us, as human beings, have been given a Golden box filled with unconditional love and kisses from our children, family, friends and God. There is no more precious possession anyone could hold.

Edited by bethcountry on Aug. 09 2003,20:26

--------------
God Bless

Beth (Grief/Bereavement Moderator)
Grandma to Angel ZACK, Jake, Cayla and Nathan

That was a simple, yet powerful story that was shared by Beth.


Well, lets see. Aizee kept getting an odd rash, with slight fever and cough. Friday night, one of the clinic nurses suggested we go to the ER. Busy night in the ER. I hate it when Life Flight is so busy. That never bodes well.
Aizee got her port accessed and a chest x-ray. X-Ray looks okay. Counts are low, but in the middle low. So, nothing that concerned anyone. They have no clue what the rash is. It could be caused by her cold. I never knew you could get a rash with a cold. But, now I know. It was a long night. I am just happy she has nothing serious going on. I called the next day about her blood cultures. They are negetive. So, whatever is going on with her, it is viral. I am going to discuss this odd stuff with her in more detail on Thursday. Her next vinchristine appointment. I mean, she has had this odd barfing no one can explain, this cold and cough that she has had for months now. Now a weird rash.
This is yet another reminder how weird life is. I mean, a kid gets a rash. You wait and see the pediatrician later. Play it by ear. As long as it does not seem to be irritating or anything, you just keep an eye on it and not really stress too much Cough, whatever, tylenol. Simple stuff. Not when your kid has cancer. The smallest stuff can be a potential for a bigger problem. Can't let anything really go by.
So, that was Friday night. The day was pretty uneventful. The day before, she had had this rash and I thought it was due to Rob mowing the lawn. Causing a little allegy to mown grass or somthing. It was gone the next day. Odd thing though, everyday, including today, like clock work, she gets this rash every late afternoon. Whether we are inside or out. She has different things to eat everyday. Not that she eats much anyway. Same sunscreen I have used forever. Same laundry stuff. Whatever. When she got the fever, that is when we decided to get it checked. Anyway, soi, got to bed really late Friday night. The girls were up bright and early yesterday. But man, where they grouchy! We played outside all day. Today, went to my parents house.
Aizee and I took a little hike in the woods. My parents live in a very heavily wooded wilderness. To my dismay though, I have noticed many trees are dying due to drought. That is sad. I hope the weather gets back to normal some year soon. This area relies heavily on the snowpack, and the last few winters have been very sparse.
But it was a fun hike. Though I did most of the hike, and she got to be carried.
Remy loves sand. Now, her new trick is trying to throw it. Kept getting herself though. Brianna has reached the wonderful age of mud pie baking! And is she ever elaborate with her creations. Remy tries to sample each product. EEEWWW! And does she ever throw a fit when I intervene! Aizee loves the sand too. But she is more into taking a big shovel and shoveling it all out of the box!=)
It was a pleasent day. They may be going back there on Tuesday. That is mine and Robs 6th ann. and my parents are thinking about baby-sitting for us so we can go do somthing. I have no idea what we might do. Maybe take a nap!!!
Nuni sent the girls new shoes a few days ago. Princess light-up ones for Brianna and Aizee. They absolutely love them!!! Little white and pink ones for Remy. With rhinestones!! She struts. Literally! Amazing the small things make them so proud and happy! It is cute because when I send the two older ones to get their shoes on, Remy picks hers up and carring one in each tiny hand, she brings them to me to put on. Even lifting her little foot up.
They are so adorable! I absolutely treasure my kids. All 3 of them. They are my life. My one reason for being here.
Aisalynn's 3rd birthday is on August 20th. Last year, she celebrated her birthday in the hospital. This year, I am planning a big bash. Stay tuned for the link to her birthday quilt, lovingly made by The Quilting Angels!
Thank-you for visiting us. Thank-you for all the wonderful entries into the guest-book. Thank-you for visiting other children.
If you are interested in being a Guest-book Angel, visit Aizees quilt. At the bottom, there is a link to the Quilting Angels. Visit there and inquire. It is fun!
Our Prayers, Love and Hugs from us to you. Have a Yippee day!

Friday, August 8, 2003 0:24 AM CDT

Hello out there. First, please pray for Priyanka. She is in critical condition. Please click on her link found above and add words of encouragement to her and her family. It is a hard fight for all of these kids. SO MANY! If you only visit one, well, that is okay. One small act of caring and kindness goes a long way!

Nothing much today. The girls have been getting along so well. It is wonderful. They have finally hit the stride of playing together instead of constant war. I love it. Just sitting back and watching them. Time of reflectin. From the first pregnancy of Brianna, to Aizee, then Remy. To now. Amazing. Life sure is like a crazy Roller Coaster ride. Actually, like the original Magic Mountain ride. In the dark. You have no clue what in the world is going to happen.
They got up and played all day today. The only two things taht have me concerned are, Aizee fell over in a chair, and in doing so, tried to catch herself and ended up pulling another chair on top of herself. I have no idea what her plateletts are since her up in meds. And today she got 41/2 methatrexate and a full 6mp. She seemed fine, but i watched her closly. And, she has a weird rash on her arms. A bumpy, red pimply rash. No fever, so, who knows.
Other than that and her new constant complaint of " I'm Tired", she is doing excellent.

So, here is some Aizee language:
" Rella " means dress
" Lye " means pacifier
" Leg " means her finger
" Sly Spotter " Means fly swatter
" Waddo " means water
" Chokit moik " means Chocolate Milk
" Circles " means Froot Loops
" Lillow " means Pillow
" Banky" means Blanket
" Oliop " means Lolipop
" Andy " means Candy
She is wonderful to listen to. I love it! I love her! I love my family!

Oh, and when she is done making a mess at the table. Eating or whtever, she takes her silverware and puts them back in the drawer! Haha!
Well, thank-you for visiting us! Our love and hugs from us to you! Have a Yippee day!

Friday, August 8, 2003 0:24 AM CDT

Hello out there. First, please pray for Priyanka. She is in critical condition. Please click on her link found above and add words of encouragement to her and her family. It is a hard fight for all of these kids. SO MANY! If you only visit one, well, that is okay. One small act of caring and kindness goes a long way!

Nothing much today. The girls have been getting along so well. It is wonderful. They have finally hit the stride of playing together instead of constant war. I love it. Just sitting back and watching them. Time of reflectin. From the first pregnancy of Brianna, to Aizee, then Remy. To now. Amazing. Life sure is like a crazy Roller Coaster ride. Actually, like the original Magic Mountain ride. In the dark. You have no clue what in the world is going to happen.
They got up and played all day today. The only two things taht have me concerned are, Aizee fell over in a chair, and in doing so, tried to catch herself and ended up pulling another chair on top of herself. I have no idea what her plateletts are since her up in meds. And today she got 41/2 methatrexate and a full 6mp. She seemed fine, but i watched her closly. And, she has a weird rash on her arms. A bumpy, red pimply rash. No fever, so, who knows.
Other than that and her new constant complaint of " I'm Tired", she is doing excellent.

So, here is some Aizee language:
" Rella " means dress
" Lye " means pacifier
" Leg " means her finger
" Sly Spotter " Means fly swatter
" Waddo " means water
" Chokit moik " means Chocolate Milk
" Circles " means Froot Loops
" Lillow " means Pillow
" Banky" means Blanket
" Oliop " means Lolipop
" Andy " means Candy
She is wonderful to listen to. I love it! I love her! I love my family!

Oh, and when she is done making a mess at the table. Eating or whtever, she takes her silverware and puts them back in the drawer! Haha!
Well, thank-you for visiting us! Our love and hugs from us to you! Have a Yippee day!

Tuesday, August 5, 2003 9:08 PM CDT

Hello out there!
Today was a busy, fun day!
Rob had to go in to work pretty early. So, it was just the girls and I. Aizee started the day by choking up a bit of her pediasure. But, she was happy. I went into her room, cleaned her up and disconnected her from her pump. Brianna then woke-up. So, downstairs to watch Seaseme Street. Then Remy got up. Early breakfast and more playing. It was half cloudy and half sunny outside. I decided to just dress them in shorts. I have been inadvertantly overdressing them. It starts out freezing, then gets hot. So, today I got smart! Yay me. Then Rob got home. We needed to go pay rent. I also needed to get my drivers liscense. One of those easy things to put off. I had lost it when we moved, and I suspected it was expired. We did that first. Quick and easy. I look like a dork in my photo. With green hair. At least that is out of the way. Then, we decided to go grab lunch. One of favorite little cafe's. The girls were really good. And Aizee ate A LOT!!!!!!!!!! Makes it all worth it. Oh, and Remy is getting really good at throwing fits and expressing exactly what she wants. She is quite the little force of nature!
Then, we went and paid rent. Then, dinkied around a bit. We decided to go to the park on our way home. No one was there. It was nice, but got very hot very fast. So, after an hour, we headed home. I let them play on their inflateable stuff downstairs. Aizee has turned into quite the monkey. Brianna has always been an excellent climber. Aizee used to be a bit more careful. Not anymore. Remy and I played witht the little kitchen sets down there and did karaokee on their little fisheprice recorder. She is funny. She'll make a noise in the microphone, then tuck her head away and act shy. Silly girl. Then, the other two decided to play tea party. Kept wanting me to 'drink' tea. I told them yuck! Give it to daddy. So, they both took trips up and down to give Rob tea. Funny. Then, Aizee started to get a bit rough. See, there are some mattresses on the floor to cover the spaces that aren't taken up by the inflatiable stuff. I was laying on one of those when Aizee landed smack on my head and neck. Resulting my very bloody nose. So, it was time to go upstairs and get ready for dinner. Listening to Aizee and Brianna chat is priceless. I love it. Remy now babbles with them. Part of the sister chats. Then bath. After bath, they played. Aizee wanted candy. I used to say no before bed. But, after losing 5 lbs this last time, I told Rob, forget it. She wants candy, so be it. Brianna too so there is not favoritism. Yet another reason why this sucks. However, there are worst things than M&M's before night night. Remy figured out they had somthing that she wanted! She discovered she likes M&M's and was very vocal about it!=)
They all crashed early too.
I love days like today. Nothing too exciting and it all flowed along. Makes it peacful.
I hope all is well out there with everyone. Thank-you for visiting us! Have a Yippee day!

Sunday, August 3, 2003 10:18 PM CDT

Hello out there! Okay, let me start with yesterday then work up to today.
So, Friday night was one rough night. Poor Aizee coughed and hacked and cried all night. So, first thing Saturday morning, I called her ped. office and made an appointment for the afternoon. She coughed a lot all morning still. Well, took Rob to work, then off the 'Gamma and Gampa's ' house. My mom had bought little elastic strings and a lot of charm beads for them to make bracelets or whatever. I let Aizee finish hers then off we were to see Doctor Webster. She is sad and coughs to the office. We get there and the little stinker is in happy drive. NOt a cry or a cough. Just happy and hyper. That is another spook for me. It is the same thing before d-day. She would be up for hours just crying non-stop. I would finally take her to an e.r. she'd be so happy and playful.
I wish I could just love this behaviour at face value. And I try. I really do. But there is a little tiny nag in the way back of my head. At least I can ignore it for the most part.
Anyway, her wheight has stayed the same. Lesley did a thourough check-up except blood. Every thing checks out fine. So, she thinks it could be a bronchial spasm. That is caused by a prolonged cold and cough. Plus, an NG doen the throat aggrivates it and makes it worse. Especially at night, when she is laying down. So, a bit of a cold and a spasm. I was much relieved. She prescribed a cough med to help stop the cough so Aizee could rest. Here is the clincher. Aizee does not cough once the entire time in the office. The minute we get out the door, she starts to cough!!! She coughs a lot going back to my folks house too. ERG! Well, we get back, did our usual day there. Home, then bed. That medicine really made a lot of difference. The 12 hour wasn't kidding either. I gave it to her at 7p.m. And 7 a.m., right on the dot, she wakes up coughing. Not as bad as usual though.=) So, played a lot this morning, then got ready to go to Liberty Park to meet Debbie and Jason. Deb moved to California. Met a great guy and they got married over a year ago. She makes it a point to visit me and my family when she comes to town to see her family.
Liberty Park....now, there are a lot of memories there. I went there a lot as a kid. There is a bird aviary there that my mom would take me to. Then, when Brianna was a baby, I would take her there. There is also a network of streams and fountains for kids to play in. I took both girls there to play when Aizee was a baby. Then year we lived in The Copper Bottom Inn, condos. The summer that they lived at the park and pool, every weekend, when Rob was off, we would go to Liberty Park. There are kiddie rides along with park stuff. The birds. There is a lake. Also, a lot of different types of people gather there for drumming circles and stuff. It was wonderful. Havn't been there for over a year. It was nice.
When we left here, it was way cold and rainy. As we went down the canyon, I could see the clouds leaving. It was a hot, humid day by the time we got there. Good thing always pack extra clothes. So, as My friends and I bsd, Rob let the girls go on the rides. It was pleasent, just chatting. Watching Remy watch all the comotion. ANother good friend was supposed to meet us... ( WHERE WERE YOU???)
But, he didn't make it. Rob had to work later in the day, so we decided it was time to catch lunch. It was hard. It ran very fast..haha!=b
We went to Trolly Square to eat at The Spahghetti Factory. It was closed being that it was Sunday. We decided on the Hard Rock Cafe instead. Never been to the one in Utah. It actually suprised me. What was really funny is right when we got inside the door, NIN, Head Like A Hole video started.
Debbie and I both started to laugh. That is one of our favorite rock bands. We had taken a road trip together and actually got to meet the lead singer. So, it was funny that that was what came on right then.
Let me tell you, my girls are really well behaved, but usually, as kids do when eating out, they get tired of having to sit and get wild. Not today. They were absolute angels!!!! I had been really nervouse about going out. They don't have kids, and I didn't want their meal to be compromised if the kids got goofy. Also, I wanted to have pleasent, adult, conversation. Instead of the usual " Please sit in your chair.. stop dumping salt on your sister..no screaming..."etc. And, it was great!
I hope They weren't bored though. Obviously our lives are a lot different, so trying to find that middle ground can be a little tricky. They live in California and have busy stuff going on. We are here in Utah and basically, nothing goes on. But, that is how it is! I always really miss her when she goes. I am saving all of my kids baby clothes for her for when she decides to be a mommy. I have a ton of girls clothes, obviously, but a lot of boy clothes too because when I was pregnant, I didn't find out the sexes of Aizee and Remy. Finding out Briannas was an accident. So, people just loaded me up!
Oh, and Debbie gave the girls some of those really cool bubbles that don't pop. THey are made out of that 'plastic' stuff. And Remy a neat super bal with a fish in it. She LOVES THAT BALL!
Halfway home, Aizee started crying and holding her head. She had done that the other day after I got them after grocery shopping. I still don't know why she has done this twice now. She cried almost all of the way home, then fell asleep right when we dropped Rob off at work.
Sad note, as I was driving to our house, a little sparrow dove down and got nicked by the top of the car. I pulled over to see if I culd help it, but it was dead. Such a tiny little thing. So beautiful and fragile. I felt really horriable. Especially because I was driving a different way home and not my usual way. I keep thinking if I had just gone my usual way, that tiny little bird would still be alive.
We got home, and Brianna wanted to play outside and Aizee did not. I put Aizee on the couch so she could rest, let Remy play inside, and stayed in the doorway to watch Brianna. She loves just running through the yard and being silly. SHe had caught yet another grasshopper. She brought it inside. I let her. She is good about making sure they don't get away. So, all 3 just had quiet play all afternoon and evening. Dinner. Rob came home, bubble fun. Then bed.
This is the second night with the cough med and it seems to be working. Aizee goes the hospital on the 14th. So, then we get her blood counts and go from there.
Thank-you for visiting us! And for signing the guest-book. I myself just put in a little gift for my daughter. I realize it will be fun for her to see it later in life, when this is so far behind us. I am planning on printing all of this out and saving it for her.
I hope you have seen the 4 index links I have added up above for Quilting Angels. There are SO many kids and their pages. I figured it was a great way to get as many as possible listed. A big interconnecting network!
I hope all is well with everyone. Much Love and Hugs from me and mine to you and yours. Have a Yippee day.

Saturday, August 2, 2003 0:53 AM CDT

Hello. I hope everyone noticed the new links I added up above. There are some truly amazing kids and families in the world. Too many. It is sad. However, it is comforting to know that in small ways like this, we can all be conected and help one another. Enlighten those who do not understand, and give one another comfort and support to those who know all too well what a crazy road it can be when your loved one is suffering.
Well, this morning, Aizee was mad because she was still tethered to her machine. She has loved being free! Free to get up in the morning and get out of her bed and come find us all on her own!
AAAAAHHHHH! Poor thing. This update is going to take awhile. She has a serious cough. Really bad. Worse than it has been. She keeps coughing and coughing and then calling out to me. I go to her and comfort her and she falls right back to sleep, only to start coughing again. Her sat is 88 ox and between 125-130 pulse. But, no fever. That is a plus. I called Doctor Webster, her main Ped and talked to her. Great, the CROUPE is going around!!!!! As I continue the update about our day, you will see how she could have been exposed to it.
Poor baby. I wish she could rest. I wish I could do SOMTHING!
So, after she got done being upset about being hooked to the Kangaroo, she wanted to watch her new favorite movie. The Brave Little Toaster. She and her sisters played all morning. Then took daddy to work. Then Rob got paid and I figured why not go get stuff we need around the house like laundry soap, food, etc.=) It was around lunch time, so I figured we'd go to Wendy's. I know that is one thing she will eat! It was noon rush. Oops. Well, I got all three of them from the car to the place. They stood in line very well. I got them their lunches. And Remy got her very first kids meal! Yay! I was trying to manuver a high chair around all the other tables and stuff while holding Remy, and a nice gentleman did it for me. It is refreshing to know that chivilry is not dead. They ate their lunches. Remy ate 2 nuggets! She does not like Frosties though! During lunch, there was a commotion. Some guys rushing around. One had gone out a door, when he was heading back in in a rush, the other guy was heading towards the door and got hit in the head. Hard enough to make it bleed. The whole place froze. Then the other guy went running through frantically saying " We are looking for a little blond girl with Pig-tails! She's gone! " The management was running around. Big ruckus. I was so afraid! Brianna kept asking me all sorts of questions and I think I explained it to her well enough.
They found her in the bathroom. Here is the spoky part. She is Remys size. These bathrooms have turn knobs and VERY heavy doors. Even older kids have trouble getting in there. So, then they all disappeared. I didn't catch the news, so I don't know what actually happened. But I am so happy that she was found and was okay! Scary.
Getting back to the car was a bit more difficult than going in. I had attempted to put their left-over drinks and one frsoty in a bag. Trying to carry Remy and this bag, and hold Aizees hand while Brianna held her other hand. Remy had fun pulling out the frosty and dumping it on me! Then, one of the drinks must have been leaking because the whole bag ripped apart and down into the parking lot fell a big mess! I got the kids into our car, then walked back and cleaned it up. I figured maybe it would be too hectic to take all 3 to Wal-Mart because the carts at this one are rally small. I decided to take them to my moms. She was thrilled to baby-sit so I could go shopping. WOW! That was pure luxery. Just taking my time and browsing. Etc. I then went to Smith's and got food stuff. Went back to my moms where they were in the middle of making trinket necklaces. Brianna was quite the sight! The necklace she made was very involved! On top of that, I had bought them some new hair stuff. So, she had on 3 different colored headbands, this wild necklace and some bracelts. Mix a 20's flapper with a 60's flower child and you get her!
After a bit though, I convinced them we needed to go. We would be back tommorow. Half way home, Aizee started wigging. Just crying and holding her head like it hurt. All the way home. She fell asleep 5 minutes before our house. Then she woke-up and it was a see/saw. She'd smile and seem over whatever, then, crying and acting in pain. Spooky memories there. Got them dinner. Let them stay up a little later than usual because Aizee seemed so miserable. And Brianna was having so much fun with her jewelry. Then bed. She was sleeping fine until about 11:30.
I now have an appointment to take her in to see Doc. Webster. Just to make sure it isn't anything serious. Maybe get a scrip cough med. Somthing. I hope they can help get rid of this cough. She had it for a month, then after her LP, it seemed to go away for a bit until about a week ago. Now it seems to be getting worse. She is so exhausted from so much coughing. And the NG is certainly not helping that irritation to her throat. Catch 22 though. Without it, loses more wheight making her more supsetiable to illness. With it adds irritation to the illness she has. ERG! NEver an easy answer.
Anyway, I will go now. Thank-you for visiting us. And thank-you for all you lovely thoughts and wordspictures, prayers etc. in the guest-book. We look forward to reading them everyday!
Much love from this family to you and yours!
Have a Yippee day!

Thursday, July 31, 2003 4:34 PM CDT

Little Luke Ervin finally agreed on allowing God to give him his wings this morning. He fought a long, hard, painful fight. He wanted so much to live. But, it was not to be. Please, click on his link and read what his mother has said. If you are able to, please also place a word or two of kindness to this heartbroken family. Even if you do not sign your name.
Please pray for Priyanka as she fights for her life right now. Thank-you.


Well, Aizee has lost 5 pounds in one week. That is a lot, very fast. Helen, her nutritionist thinks it is a combination of things. The hot weather, making her less inclined to eat, and sweating a lot of it out. Her constant cold-now maybe allergies. They are not sure. I need to give her benedryl to see what happens. Hopefully we can hold off a hospital visit until her next appointment. However, if this cough gets worse, I am taking her to the ER, if for nothing else to make sure it is absolutely nothing else.
She had woken up this morning coughing very hard, and threw-up a ton of mucus. The cold she had had previously had gone away. It came back with a vengence Sunday.
I have an irritated throat and all of that. I have never suffered allergies, but it has been so dry and hot, and dusty, I was told it can bring a reaction to the strongest of people. This is not fun! So, if I am feeling this crappy, just imagine how she is feeling. Poor baby.
Also, I now have to reinsert the NG. I hate having to do that. I was so hoping that her weight would be okay. But that much was such a shock.
The girls were so adored by the staff when Aizee went in to get weighed. A bag of goodies including Cookies, apples, watermellon, crackers, lollipops. Just small stuff, but they had a blast.
After taking Rob to work and the news on her weight and all that, I was planning on playing in the yard. Aizee went right inside and layed down. That so spooks me. It is exactly what she did before d-day. She rarely played. It is starting to be that way again. But, I won't let that fear runaway with me. I am going to play this by ear and pray for the best.
Right now it is pretty hot. The girls are all cranky. Due to Brianna and Aizee sharing a room, anytime Aizee wakes up, it wakes up Brianna. So, then she is cranky and argumentative all day. I need to find a safe and affordable pre-school here soon. She just misses the Kindergarten cut-off date. If any child is ready to go, it is her. She is so ready. Oh well. She has the rest of her life to go to school, and I will miss her. I am trying to enjoy all the time with her, just wish it wasn't so full of controversy!
I am going to go now to see what they want to do. Be it downstairs on their play equipment or outside, since it is now clouding up a little bit. Rain in the forcast today? I hope so. That would be great!
Aizee is also talking up a storm. Though she still can not tell me when she hurts or what exactly is bothering her when she gets so miserable, she can tell me a ton of other stuff.
I will add more later if anything exciting happens.

Please visit Luke Ervin. He is fighting his wings. But he is in so much pain. So is his family. It breaks my heart. Please, visit Priyanka. Her graft just disappeared. She is in desperate need of a miracle.
All of the children and their families here appreciate any and all prayers and well wishes. Thank-you for visiting!
Thank-you for the great letters and stuff in Aizees guest-book. We love reading them!
Love and hugs from this family to yours.
Have a Yippee day.

I feel liket he mother from hell. Aizee freaked when I had to do the NG. It was after bath. She saw me getting the things ready. The covederm, the skin prep swab, the tagaderm. The tube measured. The stethascope. SHe screamed and cried " No want no tube mommy! No want no tube!"
I felt like the most vile human. I also feel like a failur to her. I feel it is my fault she lost the wheight. Maybe I did not offer her enough food? Or variety? Somthing. I am her mommy. Why can't I do somthing right?
On top of that, her mucus is now that dreaded green color. I talked to Dan at the clinic. He said if she gets a fever, we have to get her in there right away to check counts and go from there. She has been doing so well. What happened?
Anyway, thanks for reading this. I will try to be more up-beat tommorow.

Tuesday, July 29, 2003 10:06 PM CDT

Please visit Luke Ervin and pray for him and his family. He is now in a coma. He is in his final hours as a beautiful child on this earth. Growing his wings to become a beautiful Angel for God. My heart goes out to his family. It has been a long fight for them. He has suffered so much.


Hello out there. Well, today we went to my folks house. My mom called this morning and asked what we were up to. Rob was off, and we just planned on slowly getting house stuff sone, maybe. Like mowing the lawn. etc. Aizee was pretty worn out after yesterday. So, I figured we'd just lounge around. She was in a pretty good mood though. That is always a good sign. I figured why not? And away we went to visit 'Gamma'. Nothing too exciting. Just a lot of playing. Indoors. I like to give Aizee a break from the sun sometimes. It seems to help. Then, the girls and I played in the hot tub. Aizee is getting brave again in the water. That is great. Brianna has always loved the water. And Aizee did too. The summer before her diagnosis, before Remy, (BR) the three of us lived in the pool at Robs work. Went every day. Aizee in her boat float and Brianna with her water wings. Then the next summer, which seems so much longer ago than it actually is, she had a broviak in her chest. Before that she had a pic line. She could not even get in the tub with that thing. She hated sponge baths too. Screamed to high heaven everytime. Then, the broviak. No water played allowed. In fact, I was so neurotic about it. She was not even 2 yet and you know how they dribble their drinks and all of that. I was constantly making sure her bandage was dry. I was terrified of infection. Especially because her ANC was always almost non existent. Then, after yet another hospital stay, she came home and I had to give her IV med. Vancomiacin and Gencomiacin (sp?). She suffered RedMans from the vinc. So, I had to give her Tylenol and Benedryl to keep her comfortable. The ginc was I think on dose given over a few hours. With the blocky pump. And I think the Vinc was every 6 hours for 4 hours a run? She, being a busy kid wanted to play and things. She pulled the loop on her line straight so many times!!!! I had nightmares of her pulling it out of her chest.
As soon as she hit maintenance and her counts held stable, I demanded a port put in. What a blessing! No more daily flushes with saline and hep. No more bandage fear, or line pulls. Infections are basically non existant. Yes, she gets a needle in her chest once a month, barring emergency room visits and the occasional hospital stay. But emla numbs it and we have only had one horrid incident where the nurse missed it.
Now, she can take a bath EVERYDAY!!!! No bandage changes to endure. Water play this year is wonderful. That brings me back to why I wrote all of this. When she was first able to start playing with and in water again, she was terrified. It had been over one year that she was denied such a simple pleasure. Now, she is back into it with such gusto! It is wonderful and I love it!
Brianna is not too sure about sharing with her sister, but she is learning that it can be fun to play in the water again with her sister. For so long, it was considered Briannas special treat. If I had to leave her behind while I stayed in the hospital all those long days and nights with Aizee, she at least had one thing neat to herself. Or, a special thing for just her and I to do, when Aizee took a nap. Now, it is a fun thing for all of us to share together.=) Remy too. But she gets bored with it fast and wants out. So, that is when my mom gets in and Remy and I get cleaned up and take a nap.
Rob enjoyed just not having to worry about anything. On his days off, he loves running around and playing with his daughters. Busy busy busy. Even when he wants to rest, he is there at their beck and call. He never minds it at all. But, I think a day just for him to watch an entire movie uninteruppted and not having to always tag team with me over one little crisis after another, I hope he enjoyed his time!=)
We left a bit after my dad got home. Oh, ya, reminds me, I need to go out and find the stowaway grasshopper in the van. When we were leaving here, a bunch jumped into the back of the van. I got them all out, but one, who refused to let me get him. I figured he wanted out of the heat. I caught him when we got tomy folks, but Brianna wanted to keep him. So, in his bug catcher cage he went. She played with him most of the day. It was fun to watch her and Aizee chasing him through the house. Anyway, Brianna wanted him to come back home, so, he was once again let loose in the car. My mom figured her bug cage may not make it back to her house the next visit. I could not find him when we got home, so I think he must still be in there. That would be sad. He survives all the mauling by small children just to die of heatstroke in my car.
Well, that is it for tonight. Aizee was very tired and emotional. She had rested a lot today, inside. So, who knows. It is hard to tell with her sometimes.
Thank-you for visiting us. It means more to us than I can properly express. Thank-you for the wonderful words left in Aizees guest-book. We look forward to reading them everyday!
Love and hugs from this family to you and yours! Have a Yippee day!

Monday, July 28, 2003 11:01 PM CDT

Hello out there. We went to the Zoo today. It wasn't planned. But it was great. I woke-up today, and just couldn't stop crying. I have nothing I can really point my finger to. My an accumilation of everything, and the passing of Chassidy? I don't know. The girls were getting along fine. Rob was mowing the lawn, and there I was, just tears streaming down my face. I realized that I probably wasn't going to feel better staying home. But, we are also broke. So, I called my dad and asked if he would loan us the money so we could go to the Zoo. He said he would meet us there. I had invited my mom, but she was not feeling well.
The girls were SO excited. It was somthing we were planning on doing somtime this summer. It just worked out we got to go today. My only regret is I forgot the camera. I have always taken it to record the girls and the day. Today, I forgot it. There was some great pictures too. Especially of Remy. Anyway,
We meet my dad. He chats with the girls for a bit, then has to go back to work. We go in. Head right for the first animals. It was a type of monkey. Forgot the name. They are black and white. Look like Skunks mutated. There was a baby one. It was adorable. I told Rob I thought I had talent, but, this mama monkey can carry her baby while jumping from rocks to trees, one armed. =) The girls loved it. Along with all the other animals. Brianna has gone to the zoo since she was born. So has Aizee. We were able to go last summer, after Remy was born, because there was a window when Aizees counts held stable for about 2 weeks. We took total advantage of that rare opportunity. But, last year, she was too tired to really be into it and Remy was just about 2 months old. This year was SO much better for so many reasons. Aizee has had GREAT COUNTS (please, I hope I did not invoke the jinx...)
Remy is over a year. Aizee was so hyper and excited. Just dancing around and dashing here and there! Running and saying " Bears mommy" Or " Birdie Mommy!" Now she refers to all birds as "Chiken". I think this may have somthing to do with all of the roosters and hens that run amok there. Rob and I laughed when she saw a Robin fly and said " See the Chiken fly mommy!" Oh, and when we got to the Rhinos, she said in a big voice" LOOK! RHINO BUTTS! " It was hysterical. Especially because it was true. They had their rumps aimed right at the crowd.Though she was so full of steam, she would quickly tire and need to sit in the stroller. For about 5 minutes, then she'd be off again. The enthusiasm she showed was enough to make me cry, but with happy tears. She was everywhere and into seeing everything. Brianna was too, but a bit more mellow. She has been there a lot of times. Plus, being such a grow-up four year-old, she needs more to entertain her. Not to say she wasn't as thrilled or excited, but at the age where she feels to be more reserved about it. SHe is so funny! And so fun to tease. The perfect age to pose a silly question to and the responses! She informed us that she did not think she'd enjoy living in the zoo. No toys. Stuff like that! Remy was funny to watch. Most of the displays she culd view from her half of the stroller. And to watch her head swivel and cock as she watched the antics of one animal or another! She really got into watching the Meerkats and a type of mouse from Chilie.
Oh, and she almost had a parakeet. See, there is a really neat exhibit here. It is a building totally devoted to the birds of Austrailia. It is full of hundreds of Parakeets, Cockatiels and Cockatoos. A Kukabura (sp?) etc. You can feed them and everything. They are all flying free. Except the Kukabura, since it is carniverouse. Oh, and a bird that looked like an overgrown Lorikeet.
YOu can hold a stick with food on it while they land on you and eat. Being a big bird person who has had some bird companions in my life, Rob as well, this was great. For Brianna as well. Aizee loves to watch, but gets really freaked if you offer her a critter be it a bug, bird, whatever. Well, small things bother her. Anyway, Brianna had several friends on her. So did Rob. I was holding Remy. She gets this real determined look. I wish I had a picture of it. But, I am sure you know how a one year-old looks when they set their sites on somthing. So, Aizee had distracted Rob and I. Next thing we hear is the Frantic squwaking of a caught Parakeet. She had snagged one from Rob. She let it go and it flew away. It wasn't injured. Poor thing. I kept a better eye on her. She is FAST! Man, she wanted a bird. We spent about 45 minutes in there. I love birds. They have lizards and snakes in great displays as well. It is my favorite exhibit.
I must admit, if I didn't have kids, I doubt I'd visit the zoo. This one is trying to improve its displays though. And it is good at educating. Anyway, we had gone on the little train ride before the bird dispaly. We had promised the girls we'd go to the little park after the birds. Before that thouhg, they ended up in the little fountain splash place. Got soaking wet. Especially Brianna. Head first. Good thing the part she went into was deep.
They played on the animal shaped things. There is a cave display that has things like scorpions and stuff. My favorite is the Leaf-nosed fruit bats. They are neat to see. There is also 'blind cave fish' another thing Remy tried to take home.
It was time to go. Aizee kept saying " No wanna go home!' But she was asleep even before I got the car started.
We got home, dinner then the joy of getting 3 overly tired kids to sleep. The End.
It was a day that started sad and ended great.
I took to heart the poem that Tracy has on Katias site. You gotta just go for it. We did. Memories have been made.
I hope all of you are well. Please go visit the many children who love visitors. Like Chassidys family. Who just lost a dear, beautiful girl. Luke Ervin who still fights, despite his great pain.
I show Aizee her guest-book and tell her how much she is loved. I tell her sisters as well.
I know how much we love the entries in her book. That is why I make it a special thing to visit other childrens books. Though it can hurt when someone goes, it is important not to let my pain get in the way of doing what I can for those I can do somthing for.
Anyway, thank-you for visiting us. Have a Beautiful day.
Oh, I forgot our little terror who trashed our picnic (Remy) and the blue icecream cones. Little stuff that=) I will write more detail about later.

Sunday, July 27, 2003 10:00 PM CDT

Please pray for Chassidys family. She grew her wings and flew home to Jesus. I just am so sad. She fought so long and hard.
Please, go to her link and place words of comfort for her family who are devestated.
Also, please visit Luke Ervin. He is in much pain, but he is still fighting.
Good news is Priyanka has stabalized.
There are so many. They all need encouraging words.
Thank-you.

Sunday, July 27, 2003 10:55 AM CDT

Hello out there. I added a few new links to the lists up above. Priyanka is stable now, and so is Chassidy. Keep those prayers going!=)

Well, yesterday we went to my folks house again. Gunner and Aunders came over to play. Aizee loves having a friend to play with. I am so happy! They get along great. Brianna and Gunner play pretty good, but they do get into some very creative fights. Maybe it has somthng to do with both being first-borns.=b
Remy and I went downstairs to take a nap. I ended up watching a creepy movie. Christopher Reeves sure makes a great bad guy.
Then, later, the boys left and the girls did art. Hearing Aizee say her colors is adorable. Just listening to her talk is great. Her little husky voice, her version of words. Little sentences. Sometimes she says things as clear as day and it takes me a moment to realize she said an entire sentence, clearly.
She wasn't eating very well so I told her she needed to or she would have to get the tube again. She looked right at me and said " I do not want that stinkin' tube in my nose again!" I blinked and realized what she had said. I am so proud of her words. Just wish she'd eat better.
When someone is having a snack or somthing, she is so cute. She runs and gets a towel and says 'uh-oh, mess!" Just small things like that.
Brianna is playing her Tigger game on her computer. Remy is a walking fool. She is so busy, and fiesty. She is the best fit thrower ever.
Rob is off today, so we are being lazy. I got Mnt Everest growing in my laundry area. It looks like a Toys R Us has been bombed in our playroom, and the beds need to be made.
Well, there is a lot of hours in a lazy day to get things done. I just have no motivation at the moment. Maybe more coffee will help.
Oh, and our girls think Rob and I are nuts. Grease was on and he and I got silly singing along and dancing to the cheesiness of it. I thought it was fun. They left the living room for the playroom. Ohwell.
Thanks for visiting us. Please sign the guest-book. I hope you all have a wonderful day.

Saturday, July 26, 2003 9:40 AM CDT

Hello out there. Well, nothing too exciting going on. I changed the photos. YAY! Remy is a full fledged walker. That just makes it more busy around here!=)
Aizee is still adjusting to her med raise. Brianna is really into dress-up now. Her fantasy play is quite interesting to listen to.
We had gone over to my parents yesterday. They played with Gunner and Aunders. First, at their house. In their kiddie pool. Then we all went back to my folks and all the kids got into the hottub. What a blast. Then they had to go home for lunch and nap. Same with my kids. Then, more play play play. Home, bed. Now they are running around squealing through the house. It is quite fun that they are starting to communicate and play together. Instead of pesky sisters picking on each other and stealing toys and such. They are actually playing together. That is fun to watch!

Aizees wish came through. That is exciting. As I am typing this, Aizee is cuddling a Minnie Mouse doll, watching a Poh Bear video. Wearing her tiara.
Brianna is excited as well. It will happen in October. That works for several reasons. Remy will be bigger and able to join in more. It won't be so hot, and not so busy. This family has never had a vacation together. I am so looking forward to just family time with no worries at all. Just some days of fun together. I hope I can do that. I mean, let the stress go for a day or two.=)

Luke Ervin is growing his wings gradually everyday. Please pray for him and his family. Please visit his page and add words of encouragement as well.
Chassidy seems to have stabalized, but not completely out of danger. Please do the same for her and her family.
There are so many.
I have found some new children. Please, if you can, go visit Priyanka
As well as Ashley.
I have many others I am going to add links to on my list above.
Too many. It is sad.

Anyway, I hope all is well with you and yours. Much Love and Hugs to you from us. Thank-you for visiting us. Feel free to sign the guest-book anytime.
Have a Yippee day!

Wednesday, July 23, 2003 11:37 PM CDT

Hello. Before I get to our day, please, take a moment to pray, very hard for these children. Yes, all of these kids (us too) need prayers. However, these children are literally holding on to life by a thread. One little thing changes and that is it. Please, pray for, visit, anything for Chassidy, Luke Ervin, and Priyanka CodiBug. And Christina.
Like I said, there are SO MANY kids out there who need all the prayers and hope, anything. It may seem overwhelming. But, seriously, these families appreciate any little word of comfort. Just go read their pages and you will see!
I get a bit grouchy with God. I do not understand him. However, I feel though I get a bit upset with him, he has his reasons. I just hope he explains it all to me someday. It is hard to not cranky somtimes when one is so saddend.
Aizee sometimes seems so aged to me. After everything she has lived through, it feels like it has been 5 years. It takes little adorable things to remind me that she is still jsut a baby. Almost 3, but that is so young. She had caught a lady bug yesterday and was so proud. She kept saying "ladey buggie" and opened her tiny hand to show her daddy her prize. The lady bug sat for a minute, spread it's wings and flew away. Aizee reached up her tiny arm and cried," My ladey buggie ", then watched her go. She laughed and clapped. " My Ladey Buggie Flew 'way " she told her daddy. Then today, she wanted a 'hopper. Where we live, there are thousands upon thousands of grasshoopers. You walk anywhere, even driving, there are swarms of them. She is running around trying to catch one. Brianna had 2. Aizee wanted one. My mom had made them some bug catching nets a year or so ago. We can only find one right now. Anyway, there is little Aizee in her 'rella', running around with this net trying to catch a 'hopper. Then she asked me to catch her a hopper. I did. She wants to hold it, but doesn't. She is funny that way. A few days ago, I had caught her one. It sat on her shaking little hand ( I am not sure why her hand was so shakey) for almost 5 minutes. She just stared at it and I watched both of them. Then it flew away.
Small stuff like that can fall so easily through the cracks if you let it. I try so hard to remember everything I can about every minute. Brianna and Aizee are now conversing. Remy doing more and more walking. It is the stagger, run, momentum type walk right now. But she is getting more and more balanced. Just stuff like that.
I will write again soon. Thank-you for visting us. I will try to change the pictures soon. Please sign the guest-book. Lots of Love and Hugs from this family to yours. Have a Yippee day.

Tuesday, July 22, 2003 11:21 PM CDT

You know, the song I picked I think will be here to stay for a long time. I am so happy that Aizee is doing so well lately. She and her sisters are doing great. Rob was off today. Great daddy daughters day together. Yesterday was great as well. I am cherishing every moment. It is wonderful. However, that is tempered by the saddness that is with other families. It was just but a touch of fate that has these kids in different places. It is so sad, and a little scary. Why can't all of these kids, any child for that matter just have a childhood. Play and chase dreams. Fighting with their siblings, not cancer. So much of their childhoods have been stolen. Then, some pass away. It is not fair. It stinks. I will stop now because I am very upset. Some of these kids have been fighting for so long. Just to lose that fight.
Here is another child that needs your prayers now. Priyanka
Please visit Chassidy. She is fighting for her life right now. Literally. Luke Ervin is passing slowly away. CodiBug has hospice at her side. Christina may be on the verge of a relapse.
I mean, there are so many out there. Any and every little prayer, word of encouragemnent, anything that you can offer is so greatly appreciated. Thank-you for your time. I hope all is well with you and yours. Hug your kids close. Be so thankful for everything, no matter how small you think it is, it is somthing, and somthing is so much better than nothing.
Hugs and Love from this family to yours. Have a beautiful day.

Tuesday, July 22, 2003 0:48 AM CDT

I will update about our day today, tommorow. I was reading some caringbridge pages and I am so saddened.
Please, they all need prayers. But the ones that are really in need, RIGHT NOW are Chassidy. She is in PICU. Her family is really in a panic. Please, visit her page. CodiBug has met her hospice people recently. Christina may be relapsing. Luke Ervin and Luke D.
I am sorry, but this is a lot of kids to be suddenly taking turns for the worst lately.
Please, pray for them and their families. Go to their links. Visit them and if you can, please put words of comfort and encouragement in their guest-books. Thank-you.

Aizee is doing okay today. So are her sisters.

Lots of Love and Hugs form this family to yours. Have a beautiful day.

Sunday, July 20, 2003 2:05 PM CDT

I'll get around to changing the pictures sometime. It is hard to choose what 3 to load at a time.
Well, today started great, and is not going too well at them moment. The girls all woke-up in a great mood.
We had gone to my parents yesterday for Grandparents day. Saturday is their day. They played and played. Caught bugs, hot-tub. Etc. Aizee took a great nap in one of the swings on my folks lower deck. Brianna and I played 'race' I actaully had to really run to keep up. No more pretending. She is getting fast. My mom gave Remy a ride in a wheele-barrow. Then Rem and I took a nap while the other two played and played with my folks. Then dinner, home and they went right to sleep. Like a switch was thrown. So, today, it seemed like a great day for the park. A bit over-cast and a little cooler. Plus, being Sunday, I know it does not get really crazy there. We went by the store first to grab some little picnic stuff. Juices and some snack stuff. It was great at the park. There was some other kids there. Almost all of them within the same age range of the girls. So, they played a lot. The only thng that got me was one other mother who was being a rag about pacifiers. I am sorry, but mind your manners! She was talking to another mother and kept looking at Aizee then at me. In a really loud voice she was all like, " Why mothers let their children have those repulsive things is beyond me. I just want to reach over, yank the disgusting thing out of the childs mouth and stomp it! What kind of mothers would let their child have those things?"
I walked over to her and said 'Excuse me. My child has cancer. She likes her pacifier. Please refrain from being rude around us. Thank-you" Then I walked away. She kept quiet after that. I mean, to each their own, still must people be so ignorant? I was thinking she may be the mother of that boy who freaked about her ng. But, I didn't see him.
Other than that one thing, the rest of the time was fun. Aizee made a little friend. A little boy. Travis I think his name was. It was cute. Holding hands down the slide. Awww. Brianna teamed up with a little girl who just turned 5. Remy kept me busy. She wants to do everything her sisters do. So, I am right there. She climbs up on the equipment now. So, I am there to make sure she doesn't fall off. Plus the lovely wood chip eating. There was another baby there as well. Remy was more interested in the dog that was with the baby, though.
Then, it started to just get too hot. They had had like 2 juices each. I figured it was time to go. On the way home, Aizee barfed and barfed. Usually she cheers up after. Not today. She just held her head and cried and cried. Got home, got her cleaned up. She wanted her 'bunnies'=jammies, on. Then went right to sleep. No fever. When she woke-up, she was still miserable. Who knows. I am hoping it is just that the juice was too much or somthing. So, tommorow is already planned at being a sit around the house and do nothing day. Help her regroup and stuff.
We had a lot of lightning here last night. We had a great view of it. If it happens again tonight, before the girls go to bed, I am going to let them watch from our big front windows. It was quite a show. I think they'd like it!
Okay, I am adduing in the rest of the day. As usual, Aizee totally does a one hundred turn around. After her nap, she was up and about. All full of her usual Impy tricks. Little stinker!=)
I am so glad it was some random thing as usual. But, if she keeps up this odd vomiting, I am going to insist she gets rechecked by her G.I. doc. Maybe she needs her prevacid again. At least make sure there is not anything new going on. So, after they all rested, I put on their swimsuits and out the door we went to play in the kiddie pools. After about a half hour, it started to seriously thunder. So, that was the end of that. Back inside we went. Then what a storm broke loose! It was quite the event. First, a heavy down pour, with the sound and light effects. Then HAIL! I mean, it was around 100 degrees outside and it is hailing. On top of that, the sun starts to shine through all of this. Plus, big thunder and a lot of lightning. What an event! Didn' phaxe the kids at all. They oohed and ahhed. Then forgot about it. They fell asleep really early again. I am catching up on a lot of reading. And sleep! Yay me! So, that was it today.
Thank-you for visitng us. We do appreciate it. Thanks for signing the guest-book as well.
Lots of Love and Hugs from this family to yours. Have a Yippee day!

Saturday, July 19, 2003 9:08 AM CDT

Right now is breakfast maddness! Aizee has actually been eating! Amazing huh? I mean, an entire bowl of cereal! It is great! Now,lets hope her appetite keeps up!
Yesterday was another really hot day. I kept the girls in for most of the afternoon. It was like a wall of heat. Then, when we went out, it was a big water fest. Aizee loves playing with the hose. Watering EVERYTHING that she can reach with it. Brianna likes it too, so there are tussles at times. Of course!=)
The evening was pretty mellow. All three of them played with legos. Only a little scuffle here or there. Then, it was gang-up on daddy when Rob got home. Remy is walking more and more! She has the cutest little legs! When she stumbles over to Brianna, she gives her a little hug. If she stumbles over to Aizee, Aizee freaks like she has an alien attached to her. It is funny!
They all went to bed very fast and easy. I was suprised. I had no idea what to do with myself that early in the evening.
Aizee still has her cough and spots. Other than those two things, she seems to be feeling okay. Hope it keeps up.
Brianna is still doing her usual. Right now she is doing peanut butter art across the table. Lovely. Ohwell, that is how it goes around here.
We are going to be getting ready soon to go visit the grandparents. No big plans this week other than that.
Thanks for visiting us. We do appreciate it. Sign the guest-book if you would! Thanks. Love and Hugs from this family to yours. Have a Yippee day!

Thursday, July 17, 2003 10:39 PM CDT

Hello outthere. Well, Aizee coughed a lot last night. Woke her up too. And Brianna. Ohwell. Another bleary morning. I had sunscreened Brianna and Remy, but not Aizee. I didn't want anything other than Emla on her skin for the procedures. She was so upset. Makes her face all tight, trying so hard not to cry, crossing her arms over her chest. Refusing comfort.=(
Got Rob to work, then to my moms. She cried as I got Remy and Brianna out of the car and she had to stay. "Gamma, Gamma House" She cried almost all the way down the canyon. Then, she just stopped and seemed to become resigned. She woke-up and wouldn't walk this morning. It kept up. She would not walk into the hospital. I had no problem carrying her. Usually she runs right to the art table the 'foster grandmas aka. Pink Ladies ' always have set up. It took her a bit. Then we made a cool clear bottle thing. It was filled halfway with clear kayro syrup and she with Pat, poured in glitter, sequins, tiny colorfuyl shells, and buttons. It is really cool. Then she colored until it was her turn to get vitals. No fever. No significant wheight loss or gain. Height, bloodpressure. All of that. Then, we got to go right into the proceedure room. She went right to the bed and climbed up. Molly came in and made sure she had emla. (I do now, thanks to a dear friend.) And asked the usual questions. I showed her the really bright red spots that have been sprouting up on her body. They are smooth so they are not bug bites. She told me she would remind me if I forgot to show them to the doc. Then, she accessed her no prob. Aizee has come so far during all of this. Molly got her blood, and taped the needle down. Then I got Doc. Vership. He is a great doc as well. I told him about her cough that has been lingering for a long time and wakes her up several times at night. IT IS NOT IN THE LUNGS! Big relief there. Some viral thing that her little body just can't seem to shake-off right now. HEr ears are good, so is her mouth and throat. No new lumps or bumbs. Two puzzlers though. Her odd vomiting and the red spots. They are not petiki eye because they blanche out. So, he had Molly take more blood to grow cultures to make sure there is no odd bug in her blood.
Ya, I feel very comforted. No one has ever seen somthing like this and they have no idea what it could be. Great. I am cutting new notches in my stress meter. I reminded him that after diagnosis, she had some of her episodes she had had prior. She had seen a G.I. doc and was found to have irritable bowel syndrome. She had been on prevacid and peragoric. He told me to keep tabs on the vomiting, then go from there.
They raised her medications. 5 full 6mps. One full one for 5 days. Then a 1/2 one for two. 4 and 1/2 methetrexate once a week. 2 dexamethosones in the morning. One and 1/2 at night. Okay. Also, he said to see what happens without the N.G. for a week or so. Wish me luck.
Then, the vincristine came in with the LP stuff. I was climbing the walls. I really, really admire the nursing staff at this place. I have only run into a couple of not very nice nurses. I trust Molly. Still, it freaked me. That stuff is lethal. Seriously. And it can appear like Methetrexate. Yes, one was on the lp kit and the other syringe of toxic waste was on the tray. Still. I HATE having that drug in the same place that an lp was going to happen. I apologized to Molly for really being wiggy abolut it. I don't doubt her competence. Just, that would be a deadly mistake. I just can't help getting wiggy about it. Anyway, I always leave during the actual lp because I just can not handle seeing that needle in her back dripping away. I saw it twice and that is enough. Aizee had already fallen asleep, even before the drugs. That was so odd of her. She never falls asleep like that. Molly was going to give her her vinc. first, but since Vership was ready to go, she gave her her ketamine and verset first. Then, the vinc. After making sure that was okay, I left. It was during this time Vership had the extra blood drawn for the cultures.
I went to the pharmacy to pick up her meds. Went back. The LP had gone great. However, Aizee was still out. Usually when I go back, she is awake. Doped out of her mind, but awake. It took close to an hour to wake her up. I was tickleing her face with my hair, rubbing her feet, I even changed her diaper and not a twitch from her at all. If her vitals on the monitors had not looked good, I would have really panicked.
See, after being put under like that, they need to be able to be awake and eat a little snack. Especially her. Her counts came back good. But, some were off. One that was bad was her glucose levels and stuff. What finally woke her up was the sound of the drilling and stuff going on near that room. They are expanding the hospital. So, that woke her fright up. She must have slept off the stonedness because she was not dopey at all. In fact, when Molly offered to get her promised 'chocky moik' she was all for it. She ate 12 Ritz crackers and drank half a Sprite. All the chocolate milks disappeared. Molly felt like she broke a promise. Aizee didn't seem to mind.
So, now we have to do the old, familiar game of waiting. To make sure the spinal fluid is still clear and what the cultures do.
We left the hospital. She still didn't want to walk. No one there seemed to think it was a big deal. Whatever. We went to my moms were Brianna ran to me and told me all about their water fight and everything else! Such a cutie! Remy was asleep in her swing on the lower deck. Aizee wanted to go straight in after giving gamma a hug. Brianna wanted to stay out. Aizee went right in and layed down. She asked for pizza that took her all day to eat. Well, hey, she ate it.=) And got her long due milk.
For those who don't know, kids undergoing these procedures can not eat for 12 hours before and no liquids up to 2 hours.
She was very mellow. Brianna was busy and so was Remy when she woke-up. Brianna wanted to go into the hot tub, but Aizee couldn't go in to day. When my dad got home, he and Brianna had a big water fight with those goofy pump action water guns. So, she and Remy got a bath after that. My mom took Aizee outside to play quietly and to get some fresh air.
Dinner, home and bed. Aizee was being a stinker in her bed. She had fallen asleep on the way home. Then, later, when she finally fell asleep in her bed, she woke-up crying and coughing. I finally brought her down here so she could rest on the couch. She is very clammy and sweaty. No fever though. With her anc being good, there is nothing anyone can do but wait it out. I hope her counts stay good and she can fight this off soon. Poor thing. She is due a break.
Tommorow is another day and if it follows the same course, she will wake-up in an excellent mood ready to take on the day!=)
I hope all of you are doing great. I am still trying to get rid of the last little shreads of stress.haha. Like that will ever happen any time soon. Most of you reading this understand too well about that.
I have found some more kids that I will try and add to my list of links. Maybe there ought to be a directory. Seems like there are more and more kids being added.
I will stop babbeling now. I want to tell all of you who visit us how much we dearly appreciate it. Whether you sign to guest-book or not. We enjoy every single entry.
Love and Hugs from this family to yours. Have a Yippee day!

Wednesday, July 16, 2003 5:45 PM CDT

Hello out there. I can not believe how hot is up here. We live basically in the Uinta mountains. If it is hot up here, I can imagine how awful it is in the lower parts. Feels like Arizona. At least people there are prepared and have fans or a/c. The girls don't seem to mind it though. I just don't like being so sweaty. I am glad the hospital has great a/c since Aizee and I will be down there tommorow, at 11a.m. for the lumbar puncture. I sure hope it is not the new doc doing it. He seems really nice and everything, just I don't know him very well. I feel most comfortable with Doc Lemmons or Doc Barnette doing it. Aizee still has a really wicked cough. Seems it builds up. She will go for an hour or so without a cough. Then she will cough for almost 10 minutes straight. They always do a thourough check-up to make sure it is safe to sedate her. Fingers crossed that her counts are good too.
The closer we are to the end, the more nervous I get. Which is silly. We still have a year of treatments to go.
It has been a pretty mellow day. We went to visit Tete and her family. Eduardo Jr. is getting so big. It is funny. Remy has no problem going up to him and tryiong to poke at him. But if Lola tries to bring him close to her, she takes off. It is funny to watch. Remy sure is a funny baby. She is almost walking! Now she has 5 and a half teeth. Two on the bottom. Three on the top with the fourth almost in. I can not believe how fast she has grown.
Brianna is a busy kiddo. Non stop action with her. Since her birthday is after the cut-off date for Kindergarten, I am going to look to see if the school system offers some part-time pre-K program. She really needs it and so do I=)
Nothing else going on here. Just trying to get out from under all of the laundry. Rob is home today and we are working on it together. I didn't have to ng Aizee again. The clinic said I could wait and have them do it. No more vomiting. Yay.
Aizee has also started talking a lot. Big words too. She said 'watermelon' as clear as day today. A ton of words and sentences just pouring out of her. It is fun to listen to her and Brianna chat.
I hope all of you out there are having a great day! Love and hugs to you. Thanks for visiting. Please sign the guest-book. Thanks. Have a Yippee day!
Thanks for visiting.

Tuesday, July 15, 2003 9:53 AM CDT

Hello all. Taylor Johnson has earned her Angel wings. Please click here to visit and leave some words of comfort if you can. Taylor Johnson

Well, you know Johnny Dangerously? The movie? You know the scenes where his mom is buried in laundry? That is how I feel. I swear, I had it all done just like 4 days ago. There is not enough closet space to begin with, so I am always trying to find spots to put stuff away. Now, however, since Aizee can't seem to stop barfing, as I wash it, I just pile it up on a big cushy chair in the living room.
See, yesterday started out fine. The girls were playing and getting along (WOW!). Took Rob to work and they were in the yard as usual. Then, Aizee barfed. I never know when to expect it. NEVER! I mean, we can take 2 hour car trips, no prob. Then, a 45 min will be a disaster. She did not throw-up on any ride at Lagoon. But, riding in her wagon, it happens. Some nights she will, others, no prob. etc.
So, up came her NG. No biggie. I cleaned her up and changed her 'rella' her own word for a dress. Short for Cinderella. Then, she kept playing like nothing happened. Okay. Then, when we went in, Brianna said she had had an accident and wanted a new dress. Okay. Then Aizee saw Brianna had a new dress and insisted she needed another new one as well. I figured it was not an issue. I'd save my arguing with her for some other issue.
So, they had lunch. Aizee actually ate!!! YAY! Then attempted a nap. If I can get them to actually rest quietly, that is a great thing! Then, after that, back outside. Aizee wanted a wagon ride. It was fun. At first, it was just Aizee and Brianna. Remy was playing on their miniature trampoline. So, I was the 'engine. Pulling them all over through our yard. It is a rather large yard, with a little hill. So, that went on for about an hour. They loved it. Then, I needed a rest. So, Brianna gave Aizee a ride. Their little conversations are priceless. Especially since Aizee is talking again! I just love to listen to them! Makes me tear up. Then Remy climbed in. Aizee was in right after her. So, I gave them a ride. Then, Brianna wanted in too. It is one of those step-2 wagons. Two seats with a little door in the side. It was a tight squeeze, but they did it. Brianna sat next to Remy and kept trying to put her arm around her. Remy kept trying to bat it away. So, I gave all three of them a ride for a bit. I got the video camera and filmed them. My still-shot camera is out of film=( .
Then, I had turned on the hose to water some flowers. I am not sure which kid did this, the phone, my book and each other got drenched. My own fault for leaving those things out there. It took a while for our phone to dry out and work again.
Then they had dinner. Aizee ate some of that too! Then, bath. After bath, I had to do the evil NG insertion. Rob was here and had to help me. She fought terriably this time. Then, as I was putting them to bed, the whole thing came out. The tagaderm, everything came right off of her face. So I had to totally redo a new one. That was just awful! I figured if this one came out too, I was not going to bother with a 3rd one. As it turned out, even doing this one was a waste.
Aizee was a wild woman at bed time. Remy too. Out of all 3 of them, Remy has the biggest temper and throws the best tantrums. She is one to throw herself around. I am always stressed about her head. And her back. She is the type if you are holding her and she gets mad, she bends herself backwards.
Brianna went right out! Aizee didn't until after 9. Then, Remy was being a stinker. Everytime I went to go to bed, she'd wake right up. So, I ended up staying up later than I planned on. She has more teeth in and more coming, so, I am thinking that is why she is not sleeping very well.
The rest of the night was pretty uneventful. Aizees Kangaroo food pump-machine emptied around 5. I turned it off, went back to bed. Then about 15 minutes later, I am awakened to the sounds of her vomiting. That woke-up Brianna. ( I can not wait to be in a house were they will have their own rooms again.)
So, I got Aizee cleaned up and comfortable on the couch. Brianna too. Then Remy woke-up. I got her too. I am letting Rob sleep in. Then, as we are all dozing off again, she throws-up again. Cleaned up, then more barf. Cleaned-up and barfed once again. That pediasure is like plato. Ick. So, NOW, she is all smiles and running around and everything is going great. Other than I am a little spacy and tired. Plus, have a ton of laundry to do.
I called the clinic. As long as she does not seem sick and has no fever, they are going to have me hold off coming in until the 17th. I am so hoping her cold will be gone and no more vomiting. I hate those L.P.'s. They make me nervous. Also, when she gets all doped up. But, they have to happen. To keep on top of this evil disease.
Anyway, that is it for my rambling for now. One day I will get enough sleep and leave this perpetual daze I live in!=)
Thank-you for taking the time to come by and visit us. Please take a moment to sign the guest-book. Thanks.
Have a Yippee day!

Sunday, July 13, 2003 6:41 PM CDT

July 14, 2003, Taylor Johnson earned her Angel wings.
Taylor

Please, click here and if you can, give her family words of encouragement. Thank-you.


Hello out there! Aizee has a terriable cold. I have no idea how this will affect her getting her L.P.(Lumbar Puncture) on the 17th. Because they dope her up on Ketamine and Verset. It affects her breathing, so if she is having distress, I am not sure what they will do. The only plus is it will rule out any chance of going to The R.T.U.. The staff there is good, but I always get a bit freaked when she has to go there. Fingers crossed her counts are still good, no new signs of cnacer creeping in, and her cold goes away without a hospital stay.
Thank-you Katias mommy for teaching me how to do music on here! And all the other neat tricks!
Please go to the Taylor link and visit her and her family. All words of encouragement are deeply appreciated.
Summer had her baby.
Keely. What a cutie! Yay Summer and Jason. And, new big sis Mallie!
We played lots today. Aizee has been sleeping A LOT! And, not being as busy as usual. She chose to lay on the couch and watch All Dogs Go to Heaven and Frosty the Snowman, instead of going outside. Then, when she did go out, she mostly sat on her swing. She did chase Brianna with the hose a little bit. As long as she does not get wet, she likes watering the plants and her sister.=)
She was all bundled in bed, and kept telling me she was cold. She does not have a fever, so, I am not sure what is going on. She is starting to talk more and more, so maybe she is just 'talking'. Their room gets pretty warm and stays that way, so who knows. I don't.
Anyway, that's it for now. Thank-you for coming by and visiting us. Please sign the guest-book because I am nosy and like to know who comes by. Also, I enjoy reading the entries to the girls.
Thank-you! Lots of Hugs and Love from this family to yours! Have a Yippee day!

Thursday, July 10, 2003 9:34 AM CDT

Quick request. 7/12/03. Please, go to the Taylor link down below, and pray for her and her family. Any encouraging words for her, and her family would be wonderful. Thank-you.


HEY!!! SUMMER had her BABY! 7/8/03 12:20 p.m. 8lbs, 12 oz. 21inches.
Keeley Christine. YAYAYAYAYAY!
The baby is adorable!=)


Hello out there everyone. Boy, what an adventure yesterday!
Okay, We got offered a free trip to Lagoon. Our local amusement park. So, that in of itself means a bit of planning. We had to wait for one of Robs days off. Also, had to plan with our home health care to do counts, and with the hospital clinic to give the go ahead. I felt bad becaues at the time I scheduled the blood draws and things, I did not know my dad had wanted to go. Of all days he could not take off was this Wednsday. Just another reminder of how things are so different. 'Normal' families can postpone their plans without having to re-schedual stuff with a hospital and a nurse. Also, they don't have to do it now because she may not be able to do it later. Etc.
So, Kate came and did a blood draw. Aizee has gotten really good about it again. Big improvemment after that terriable night in R.T.U. where that icky nurse missed her, then was a rude, rude man about it. She is still nervous whenever we go to R.T.U., but not anymore in clinic or with Kate. Whew.
So, the counts came back on the low side of mid-range. But, still pretty good. Great, so we made plans with my mom to go with us. We went to the store to get a new tube for our tire for the double stroller. Little chores like that. The girls played in the yard and Tuesday day went great. Then, at dinner, Aizee threw-up. See, a few early mornings ago, she threw-up in the early morning hours. Her N.G. came up. She was fine right after. Who knows. She does this in waves and no doctor can figure out why. A bit frustrating!!! So, that night, she let me put in a new one without too much hassle. That makes it easier on both of us. Anyway, she did her trick of being able to toss her cookies and keep her tube down.
I decided to let the girls watch a movie to fall asleep too. I knew they were tired and was trying to get them to relax and fall asleep early. Worked with Aizee, then Brianna. I put Brianna to bed and went to do the same with Aizee. She woke up. And, she had a fever. 100.7 to start. I let her watch Shreck. An hour later, her fever went to 101.9. I called the on-call oncologist. I told him her counts were just taken and her ANC was 1.5. Her crit was 34, etc. Her platlets were great. Like 238 or somthing. He said maybe she was fighting a cold or somthing. Give her some Tylenol I was told. I did, then the fever went up to 102.3. I called her regular pediatrician for a 2nd opinion. Especially, after I gave her the tylenol, there was a weird smell. I realized it was the urine in her diaper. RANK! I had never smelled a smell like that. Her ped told me to monitor that as well. Since her ANC was so good, she may be fighting somthing and I had to just keep an eye out for other things.
Well, around midnight or one, what ever, her fever finally broke, and her diapers after that one did not smell so foul. Oh, and Brianna wokd-up during all of this. So much for an early night to rise and shine the next day.
Aizee fell asleep finally. Her last temp was 99.4 which is good. Got her to bed, Brianna back to bed. Remy woke-up. Got her to bed and got to bed myself just befor 2. Then, I was awoken at 4 or so to the lovely (sarcasim) sounds of Aizee retching.
I turned off her Kangaroo pump and disconnected her. She managed to keep her tube down. That was a plus, but her, and her bed were a mess. Remy was screaming in the other room. I gave her to Rob, she did not want him, she wanted me, but, well. I had to clean-up Aizee and her bed. Put on new jammies and sheets. I am still amazed all that one can do in a semi-conscience state. Bumbled around a lot and no way organized, but, got it all taken care of.
Back to bed. Then, Brianna and Aizee were wide-awake and ready to go around 7 a.m. I looked at the clock and told Rob I'd be up later. He was fine with that. Remy and I slept in.
Aizee was in an excellent mood. That still gets me, to this day. You'd think after over a year of this, I'd not be amazed. I still am. That they can be so sick, on the verge of a hospital stay one minute, then just great the next. Anyway, got everyone fed, dressed and our amusement park stuff all together. Aizee got a little check-up and checked-out. So, off we went. Picked up my mom and to Lagoon. Being a mom now going to an amusement park is much different than being a kid going. We parked right in front. Cost $10 to do so, but it was so worth it! Got the kids in the strollers and our tickets. Then in we went. The first ride of course was the Merry-Go-Round. Remy loved that. Her first time on one. Aizee was mellow. Brianna was scared at first. Then, she realized there was an up and down kitty. Boy, did she want to ride that. All of our other tries to get it, she got a rooster, a piggy, then she wanted a horse instead, so I had to ride the piggy. She never did get the kitty.=(
Then, they went on little boats, Puff, the tiny rollercoaster. A ride called Scaliwags that had big goofy bugs they could ride in. Helicopters, rocket ships, Airplanes. Oh, here is somthing funny with that. There are two different plane rides. One, you have a handle to raise up the plane. When it started, Brianna had it pushed forward. We were calling to her to pull back to fly. The guy next to us said, well, she seems more the Airline attendant type. Hahaha. The other one had guns that made a lazer sound. Aizee is funny. She will be a twerp in the line, of course, but is so mellow and calm once the ride starts. It is hard to tell what she thinks of a ride. Especillay since she insisted on having her lye (pacifier) in her mouth. They rode little grand prix cars, and a loopdy-loop.The merry-go-round some more, then we went to Pioneer Village for lunch. Brianna ate okay, Aizee had just like, maybe 3 fries and a bite of chicken. Every bite counts. Then, we went to the little park there so Remy could crawl around and the kids little bit of lunch would settle. Then, we left my mom in charge of her little buddy, Remy and took the girls on a little walk to see the display buildings. Looked at old-horse and buggies and couches. The Circus display. Old fashioned toy house sets are so neat! Miniature cast iron stoves, with doll beds. Real velvet on the doll furniture. Not just the doll house stuff either. But like for a childs baby doll. Those old prams and stuff are neat. Then, went into the train building. That was neat because they made it seem like you were on a train. The floor vibrated and there was the sound like you were riding a train with the clickety-clack and the train whistle. Very neat. Then, we spotted a horse and buggy ride. 4 draft horses and an elderly couple. So, we went on that. It was nice. It was funny. The guy 'driving' the horses and I know some of the same people. He lives in an area my family and I did when I was a kid. Small world. Then, back to my mom and Remy. Decided to let them hang out in the park and we took the girls on RattleSnake Rapids. They found that really neat. The only time all day that Aizee seemed upset was at the end when we got soaked by a waterfall. More embarrassed than anything. Then, she was fine right after. Then, we went on the Log Luge. They loved that. Then, the Tidal Wave. They liked that. Then, The Terror Ride. All 4 of us fit in one car. At the time, there was no comment. Then, Draculas Castle. I rode with Aizee. She was notchalant. No big deal. Rob said Brianna was scared and had her eyes closed the whole time. Then, we rode The Tilt-o-Whirl. That was the best. We had a really fast chair, and all 4 of us got some momentum. I spotted a ride I really wanted to go on later. There was 3 rides that Rob and I wanted to go on, but we waited. Brianna spotted the huge Ferris wheel. It is like 40-60 stories tall. Rob is not fond of heighths, so I figured we'd wait until my mom was with us. We hit a few more rides, then took the sky lift back to the other side of the park. To Rob, that was the scariest thing in the park. There, we rode The Musical Express. I rode with Aizee. She is so funny. All you can read are her eyes. They look full of joy and thrill. But, not a peep. Or, when she tries to scream or whatever, it is very subdued due to her lye. She was a handful in the lines though. One big bundle of energy and excitement. We walked back to the park and found my mom and Remy. So, then we walked back to the rides. Rob and I got to go on my favorite. One that was gone for a few years, was rebuilt and is really still the same, just more modern and a little safer. The Wild Mouse! I love that ride. Then, Rob wanted to try the new Spider. Now, that was a fun ride. You are in a roller coaster seat. But, it spins as it goes on this crazy track. Oh, yes, it is an open seat. You are here, there, everywhere. Pretty crazy, but fun! Then, The Wild Mouse again. That line was much shorter than The Spider. That line was just massive. Then, we went on The Collouses. That is still a fun roller coaster. Then, all of us went on the train. Remy thought that was fun. Brianna insisted on going on the 'scary rides' again. So, we did those two again. Then, I really wanted to ride The Samari. I can not even describe this ride. I had to go it alone.=( No one wanted to go. So, my mom and Rob got the girls some cotton candy and stuff, while I went. It was such a RUSH! I wanted to go again, but the line was too long. This ride was just insane! But, it is now my favorite. There was another one I wanted to check-out, but that line was long too. It was called The Rocket Blaster. Oh well, another day. Rob stayed with Remy while my mom and I took Brianna and AIzee on the giant Ferris Wheel. We got to see the sunset. Those two just sat and looked at the sights far below. That was our last ride. It was almost 10p.m. and we were all tired. Go figure! It is so nice to park right in front. Out the gate and bam, there is the car. Got the girls and my mom in the car. She was riding in the very back with Remy. Oh, ya, it is an older model mini-van. No convient way to get in and out of the very back. But, my mom did it! Remy loved having her there. Aizee passed right out. We did Wendys drive thru for dinner. Brianna ate every single bite. Oh, ya, when we went back to the park for my mom and Remy, my mom took Brianna to the bathroom, and Rob went too. I had given Aizee a package of Hi-C fruit chews. I was changing Remys diaper and did not notice that Aizee had crammed every single one in her mouth. She was laughing through the mess, so I know she was just goofing around, thinking it was funny. I tried to get them out and she wouldn't let me. She was being a stinker. Until she choked herself and threw them up, along with all the liquid she had drank in the last hour or so and her NG. What a mess. I feel so bad I hadn't noticed she was doing that. She never has befor. Now I know.
So, I was worried she fell asleep and didn't eat dinner. I bought her one incase she wanted it.
Got to my folks house and dropped my mom off. Got Remys fairy that my aunt had needle pointed for her. Now all 3 have one. We got home around 11 or so. Got the girls into their jammies and right into bed without any hassle. Rob and I stayed up just a little bit, then went to bed ourselves. Remy was up first thing this morning. Little scamp! Aizee and Brianna slept in until almost 8. Aizee is a big grouch this morning. I so hope we did not over do it yesterday. She had plenty of sunscreen, plenty to drink, shade, snacks and rode most of the time either in a stroller or daddys shoulders. She was happy and really into it. She didn't want to go when we finally did. So, I hope she is fine. Right now she is eating Lucky Charms. Thing is, she is making sure there are no pieces of cereal with the marshmellows. Well, as long as she is eating somthing, I am not picky!
I wish we had brought a camera. That is my one regret. Ohwell, it was an awsome day.
Thank-you for reading my novel here. Please visit the guest-book and sign it if you wish.
Thank-you to all for visiting us and your lovely comments given! Lots of hugs and Love from this family to yours. Have a Yippee day!

Please take a minute to visit these other amazing children and read all about their lives!
Jackie Katia Samantha Brian Chassidy Brittany Cameron Camspage Christina Connor Kody ConorFord Hannah and Madeline Luke.D Taylor Zacharyd AnnarBananars Davin JackRyan CodiBug

Also, here are some pages of Angels, who have families who want you to know and remember their preciouse children.
Colby Anthony Jalen BrandonTroy ZackHostad RobertMitchel Seth TylerPowe TylerRobbins Rashid

Thank-you.

Monday, July 7, 2003 9:11 AM CDT

HEllo out there! So, the 4th turned out pretty fun. One of those days where we didn't plan anything for the day, yet plans happened and it all went great!
See, last year, we lived in a different area. A 'real' neighborhood'.
The only plus about there was the little park about a half-mile walking distance, and a close grocery store. Other than that, living there was a bit of a pain. Even the parade and stuff.
This year, we live on a little country lane. Right off of this is a main road. The parade went right down the main road. All we had to do was walk down our little road, and we were front and center. It was a cute, small town parade. The girls really enjoyed it. They even got candy from the floats. They thought that was pretty cool!
We chatted with some folk, then walked back home. The girls had water-play in the yard and Rob cooked us a yummy Barbeque lunch. He had to go to work late in the afternoon. So, the girls and I just played in the yard all day. Then, when Rob got home, we lit their few fireworks. Due to the seriouse drought season we've been having, not a lot of fireworks are allowed. The girls stood stock still holding their sparklers. Then, Aizee decided to run around with hers. She got really into waving it around. Brianna just watched hers. Remy just hung out in her walker. A couple of tanks, smokebombs, stuff like that. They were thrilled!
Then, I had promised that they could stay-up to see the big fireworks. We live in Rodeo territory. On the national circiut. So, this town has been very busy all week! And everynight, we can see the fireworks from the back of our house.
I expected the girls to crash, but they didn't. Rob set up their little beach chairs and I put on their housecoats. Brianna 'ooohed and ahhhd' at every single one of them. Aizee stayed very quiet and just stared. I could see her eyes were huge in the reflected light. Remy seemed unimmpressed and fell asleep in my arms. So, that was that. GOt them into bed and woke-up to go visit my folks on Saturday.
There, they played in the new sandbox my folks built for them. They helped water the plants. Tore around the trees and mountains. Stuff like that. I went in and watched " The Gangs of New York " Fabulouse movie, I must say.
THe girls played in the hot tub for a very long time. Then, took a bath, then did art. Non-stop playing.
Then dinner, then I took them home. Got them to bed. Rob was here and he and I just chilled after that.
Then, yesterday, up bright and early. Played, breakfast, Rob to work. Played outside, lunch, rest, more playtime. Dinner, bath, play, bed.
Oh, ya, during the morning outside time. The girls were running around the yard, I was playing with Remy, then all of a sudden, two robins go after Taz, our cat. I was like, what is going on? I did not see that one of the baby robins ( a different nest. 3 total in our yard) had fallen out of its nest. Not until I see this tiny brown thing go tearing across the yard and ran into Aizees leg. She was " BIRDIE! MOMMY! BIRDIE!!" So, I go to catch it, then a strange black cat, that was hiding in our irrigation canal, jumped out and grabbed it and took off. I chase that cat. It dropped the bird. The bird seems fine. I take it and put it back into its nest. Then, the other baby jumps out. I put that one back, then the other one jumps out again. I fianlly got a hold of both of them and cram them both back in there. ALl the while, Aizee is going on and on about the 'birdie' and Brianna wants to pet them.
Then, I was worried aobut causing the parents to abandon them. I call a bird person, and was told, no, it shouldn't cause a problem. So, that was our big tadoo yesterday.
So, this morning, I am sleeping great. Finally. Remy has been teething, and has a cold. So, nighttime has been full of a fussy baby. Rob didn't feel very good yesterday either. Anyway, I get woken out of a deep sleep to the lovely (sarcasim there) sounds of retching. Aizee had not thrown up in almost a month. She was sound asleep and upped everything. Poor baby. Now she seems just fine. Eating a sausage. Who knows. I hope it is just that weird once in a while thing again.
So, today, just sticking close to home and playing outside. Kate will be here on the 10th to take blood. To check counts. Fingers crossed that everything is good and stays that way.
My friend Summer is due any time now. Goodluck Summer!
Thank-you to everyone who visits us. Thank-you for signing the guest-book!
For those who don't sign, thank-you for coming by!

Lots of hugs and love from this family to yours. Have a Yippee day!

If you get some time, please stop by and visit these other wonderful families. Thank-you.
Jackie Katia Hannah and Madeline Samantha JackRyan Chassidy Taylor Brian BrittanyZipter Cameron Camspage Christina Connor ConorFord Luke.D Zacharyd AnnaBanana Davin CodiBug
And the beautiful angels. Please remeber their families who are still hurting.
Colby Anthony BrandonTroy Jalen Robert Seth TylerPowe Tyler Robbins Zack Rashid

Thursday, July 3, 2003 9:43 PM CDT

Hello out there everyone. Happy 4th!
We live in an area where Rodeos are really popular, especilly this time of year. Sad, if it wasn't for that, I keep forgetting that there is a holiday. It is not that I am not into the whole thing, just, after not being able to celebrate it for a year, you tend to just blow them off.
The 2001 4th was the best one ever. If it had included Remy, it would have been perfect. We lived in a condo in Park City at the time. Right in the middle of everything. I could take the girls along 'The Rail Trail' to the park. Up to Robs work to visit him, friends, go swimming everyday. Put the girls in their stroller and walk the mile or so up to Main Street for Ice Cream. Etc.
That 4th, we got up early and went to the Miners breakfast. They love to honor the old miners at miners park, etc. Living so close and able to walk everywhere without having to deal with parking is such a huge plus.
Then, we followed the rail trail up to Main Street and found a prime spot to watch the parade. The girls loved it. I remember being amazed how many people come up there now. Growing up there, it used to be pretty low-key. It has just gotten larger and larger!
Aizee was pretty quiet, just taking it all in. Brianna chattered non-stop about everything she saw. Then, at the end was The Harley Riders. We spotted some friends, and decided to beat the crowd rush out, and walked down main with our motor pals. Brianna loved that. Feeling she was a big part of it!=)
They were hot and hungry at that time. Another plus for the condo. Could just zip home and grab lunch and a quick rest.
We later went back to the park to check out the activities. Hung-out with friends like Bryce and Parker. Sushi-boy came and hung-out for a while too. IT was great. Big water fight. Just easy going folk having a good time.
We later walked up to the resort. The Pig-Pen was shutdown for the summer. We have good friends who run that tavern. Good times there, a lot of memories!
But, when it is shut-down, everything is removed, so it is a huge place for kids to play. Right outside is the ice-rink. The girls ran around inside, then outside. Then Brianna wanted up the ski hill a bit. See, they place old lift chairs on posts, with a pad, makes a neat 'porch'swing. So, she and I went up there. Then, she had fun running up the dirt mountains that appear at the end of the season. And rolled down them. I did too! Then, daddy and Aizee caught up to us. We played there until dusk. Went in to Robs work for a quick snack, then headed out to catch the fireworks. Park City Resort always had an awsome selection. IT was great. Brianna was 2 at the time. Perfect age to be in awe by fire in the sky! Aizee was not even 1 yet. It was funny because in the middle of everything, she decided she HAD to nurse. Okay, so, here I am trying to modestly nurse a busy baby who wants to check out the commotion around her every few seconds, then catch a snack. Makes me smile still.
Then, when the fire-works were all done, we walked home on that beautiful summer night. And got everyone into bed.
Last year, it was just another day. I think I took the girls to my parents and Rob worked. Aizee was bald and very sick. In fact, she celebrated her 2nd birthday in the hospital. along with Easter, and a few other celebrations. So, those days all sort of run together. I don't mean to forget them. But, one day, when it all works itself out, I hope to get back into it. Actually, I know I will! Around here, though, we a busy celebrating each and everyday we have and for what we have, so that is another reason we tend to forget the holidays. We don't need a special day to go all out!
4th of July is also Poncho Pupperdoodles birthday. He is our wonderful black lab. He will be 8 this year.
My best-friend Summer is due to have her baby anyday now! Her second one! Wishing her the best!
Thank-you to everyone who visits us! Thank-you for sighning Aizees book! We read each and every entry! If you havn't signed, please do so. If not, that's okay. We just appreciate that you take the time to visit!
A lot of hugs and love from this family to yours!
Have a Yippee day!

Brian Brittany Cameron Camspage Chassidy Christina Jackie Katia Connor Samantha JackRyan Davin Taylor Luke.D ConorFord Zacharyd Hannah and Madeline Codibug
Please visit these preciouse angels that are no longer with us, but their families truly appreciate your kindness.
Colby Anthony Zack Rashid Tyler Robbins Tyler Powe Seth Jalen Brandon RobertMitchel

Monday, June 30, 2003 11:44 PM CDT

I was so aggrivated last night. I had done a great up-date, with about 15 kids links at the end. All in all, a lot of typing. Then *poof * gone!!! Oh, I was really annoyed. So, I figured I would just wait and just try it again later. So, now it is later.=)
So, Aizee is at 100eds. She gets a cbc on the 10th. Then, an LP, lumbar Puncture on the 17. I swear I get more nervouse each time! The thing, so close to the end. 2004! So, the closer to the end, the more scared I am of some stupid thing happening! Reading other childrens pages has reasured me that I am not alone when I say fear is a constant companion. Fear is there about so many things. I used to just know the little fears, the typical ones: regular illnesses, injuries, kidnapping, hurt feelings, kids self image, etc. Now, I met the big guy. This fear is about so much more. Odd stuff that the typical person doesn't think about. Like, if you are outside and the wind blows a lot of dirt. Yes, dirt is not fun, but, you close your eyes etc, then it passes. Well, it can be viewed as so much germ potential. People coughing near you, etc. When Brianna was a little child, I used to let her play in mud puddles. Roll in the mud, the works. I would always stick her in the tub later and that was that. She never got sick. I think she has had only one ear infection and one little 24 hour flu. I joke that I didn't allow Aizee to roll in enough puddles.
This whole week, they fought almost non-stop. I have no idea what is going on, except I can tell that Aizee's psychosis is back. It has been less than a week since her 6mps have been raised to full capacity, but man!!!! Take a typical 2 year old and max them 1000!!!
The last couple of days, whatever the cause of the grouchiness was, finally went away. I took them to the park yesterday and today. Yesterday, here is a funny story. See, Aizee calls dresses "rellas". Her version of Cinderella. Adorable huh? I let my kids wear whatever they want. I am not an anal parent about clothes. So, they love wearing dresses all of the time. Fancy ones, simple ones, whatever. However, I am thinking, going to the park, she might need to wear shorts. For prtection of the backs of the thighs etc. Oh no, she wanted a Rella! She went and got one! One of mine! A sundress. In fact, that is one of the new pictures I am going to add here when I am done typing here! So, there is a 2 year old temper. Then there is a 2 year old Aizee temper. At least she compromised. I got to put a onsie on underneath. I am thinking, she will take it off when we get there. Nope. Then she trips all over the place. I think she will get tired of stumbling around and want it off. Nope. She wore that thing ALL day! In fact, how she finally came to take it off was, later, at home, in our yard, I let them water the plants. They fill their little watering cans Grandma got them and water the plants. She got soaked. Then it came off! " Mommy, my rella all wet!"
Anyway, back at the park, there was a family with a little jump on the air thing and launch a rocket. They let Brianna join them. She loved it. She had fun! I love having her socialize! Remy spent much of her time trying to consume as many wood chips, and I spent much of my time getting them out of her mouth! She is silly. She turned down all bribes of cookies and the like, in the desire of those wood chips!
Aizee just did her thing. Grandpa showed up to visit. He brought the girls and I lunch. We had a little picnic. He took photos and it was fun. Oh, yes, we met a family with 3 kids as well. One was a beautiful little girl who is 5, with Rhettes syndrome. That really put Aizees illness in perspective. I mean, I HATE CANCER! I HATE THAT ANY CHILD SHOULD SUFFER!! However, Aizee, no matter what, can be 'normal' more or less. This little girl, trapped in her own body. Can never talk, walk, have any voluntary movement. Fed with a bottle. Yet, can comprehend, think, etc. Can only communicate with her eyes. Really made me think and raised my appreciation for what I've got, a lot higher!
Then, I figure about 3 hours was enough and we came home. Regular home stuff. Rest time, then more outside time. Consumed about half a case of 'nemo pops'. Played in the yard. Etc. Aizee has really been playing great with Remy. Remy loves the attention from her big sisters. But, she has the largest temper out of all 3!!!!
Dinner, bath, play more bed.
Today, park again. This time, was not as much fun. Some peoples children!! See, when we got there, there was only one family there, then they left. Then, like 3 day camps showed up and they took over the entire park! Literally. I mean, they set up activities everywhere, but only paying kids could join. How rude. Take over a public place like that, then expect that other kids there are not going to want to participate? Brianna was really upset. Then, one boy, around 8 or so! Was so rude to and about Aizee. He was so snotty. He goes " What the heck is that on her face?" I was all nochalant " It is her NG. She has cancer and that is how she gets fed. " He asked how and I explained. Then, he is all like " That is SO GROSS! HOW DISGUSTING!" Etc. Okay, fine, but he made it a point to be right in her face, as I am trying to move her away, he won't stop following, going on about it. She freaked and started to cry. Then got really self-conscience about it the rest of the time there. I mean, then the camp counsler lady was like, " Well, they are kids after all" I finally had it. The cheet-o lady at the other park was enough. I told her " Yes, kids are kids, and I do not expect him to understand or accept this. However, it should be an adults job to teach MANNERS!"
I rounded the girls up and we went home.
We played outside after lunch and resttime.

I feel like I am forgetting some more intersting tales. Oh, yes, Aizee is out of Septra, and so we had to go to the pharmacy to get a refill, after a lot of prescription run around. Found a hurt magpie on the way home. I, of course had to rescue the poor thing. Broken wing. I am going to call our bird sanctuary tommorow. Anyway, I will add the links in a bit!
I wanted to say Thak-you to all of you who visit us! And for your well wishes in her guest-book! It really does make a difference!
Our love and hugs from this family to yours! Have a YIPPEE day!

Jackie Katia Camspage

I will add more later! Thanks.

Friday, June 27, 2003 9:54 AM CDT

Man, sorry I have not up-dated for a bit. Rob was out of town, and I just got busy. First off, I will have to come back later and add all of the links to other kids pages. I don't think I will have that much time to do it at the moment. But, please come back, then go visit them! Especially Taylor Johnson. She is in much pain right now.
Also, I finally have the picture with them on the Harley.
So, well, I guess I will just jump in here and do the best I can with an up-date.
Aizees meds have been raised. THat is good, and bad. Good because that means she is strong enough to take it! 100n the 6mps. 75n the methatrexate.
The bad is, it can lower her counts, so she needs blood draws every week again. That is good and bad in of itself. Good because I will always know what is going on with her, bad because she has to get a needle in the chest, and everytime that happens, that increases her chance for infection.
Also, an increase in 6mps, raises her psychosis a bit.
For anyone who doesn' know, there is a very rare side-effect to that medicine. It can cause distinct personality changes in your child. Psychosis is one of them. It took me a few months of badgering hospital staff about her behaviour. Finally, Doctor Barnett told me. Imagine my relief to learn I was not off my nut, and neither was my kid.
So, now she is adjusting to her new doses. Play-it-by-ear. When I was a kid, I never understood that. Now, it is the title of my lifes story! With NIN in the background for a soundtrack!
They are some tired kids today. Rob and I too.
He flew-out of Salt Lake to Conn. Monday. His flight didn't leave until around midnight, but with all of the security measures, he had to be there much earlier. So, we left here around 8 or so. That was sad dropping him off. I got home and the girls to bed no problem. THe only thing that spoked me a little was that the dogs did not bark when I opened the door. THEY ALWAYS bark. Not a peep. So, I ran down there to check before I got the girls in. They were just sleeping. So, that night and next day were uneventful. But, that night, they refused to sleep. I relented and let them stay -up to fall asleep to a movie. Then they got up way early on Weds. That was just another day of play. No biggie. Then, that night, around 11:45, I load 3 sleeping girls into the van and go get Rob. Oh ya, the airport is over an hour away. We pick him up a bit after 1a.m.. Get home after 2. The kids, of course are all wide awake. I fianlly get everyone to bed after 4 a.m. Then Kate called around 7a.m. to remind me to put emla on Aizee. Then, she got there a little before 8. Talk about one tired day yesterday. Did the girls nap? Only Remy. THEN, they would not go to bed last night! It was like WWIII!!!! They did not fall asleep until almost 11!!!! Well, Brianna was trying to sleep, but Aizee and her behavior kept her up. Then it was the domino effect. That is one draw back. They share a room in this house. They used to have their own room, then we moved. Ohwell.
So, I stayed up to watch the New Ren and Stimpy. ICK!!! I like to original ones better. So, then Remy would not sleep, so, I did not get to bed until about midnight. Then, Aizee was up at the crack of dawn and made sure everyone else was too. A lot of bleary eyes in this house!! Rob had to take the van in for an oil change. 9 quarts of oil!! Holy Cow!
They are monitory Aizee closely. Her counts are a little off. One nurse says they look fine, but a couple others say the red count is off. It could be because of her med raise. So, once a week, Kate will be here. Fingers crossed it isn't anything seriouse.
Right now, I am being attacked by a crazy 2 year-old.
So, I will just make sure I try and up-date daily again.
In my exhausted head, I feel like I am forgetting a story or two, but, well, if I am, I will just write it later!

Thank-you for visiting us! Please sign the guest-book. Lots of Hugs and Love from us to you! Have a Yippee day!



TaylorJohnson Katia Jackie Luke.D Chassidy


I will put more here later. Or, maybe they show up in the journal history?

Thursday, June 19, 2003 10:42 PM CDT

New pictures! I have SO many. So, I am going to try and update them once a week. Sometimes 'blasts from the past', other times, newer ones. Just to keep everyone on their toes! More than likely older ones since I am awful at taking my film to be developed.

So, today went well. Clinic was really crazy. Thanks to the new Privacey act, Travis, our nurse couldn't tell me what was going on. The girls were mellow.
Aizee let her port get accessed with only a little flinching. I wish the drug manufacturers would create a saftey lid for EMLA. I am almost out at home, and now, the clinic is only allowed two tubes, so no more being able to snitch some!=( This means I have to arrive at the clinic one hour before our appointment, on top of the fact we are one hour away. Man. Ohwell.
Anyway, she got vinc. today. Also, a new NG. She still fought madly (who can blame her?) But, at least it wasn't me having to do it! It was going smooth until we were leaving. Aizee decided to take off. She was ahead of us down the clinic hall, then, out the clinic door, then, down the main hospital hallway! The opposite direction of the doors we needed to go out to get to our car!
Luckily I had put Remy in her portable seat. See, she has a Britax carseat, but it isn't portable. I take her out of that one and 'cram' her into her old infant seat. My dual-stroller is too large for the clinic halls.
Anyway, I had to set her down and made Brianna wait with her, otherwise, there was NO way I was going to be able to catch Aizee! She is fast! Glad she is healthy enough to run like that, but really not good situation AT ALL!!!!
So, I caught her as she was dodging around some hospital staff! Then, had to race back to the other two! I am so HAPPY that Brianna listened.
Wait! It gets better.
Okay, I am carring Remy, and have a FIRM grip on Aizees hand, and Brianna is holding her other one. We get to the car, which, *phew* not too far away. But, now it is wedged between two other cars. One was even over their line in my space. Oh, ya, and I drve a van. So, I am trying to squeeze through this tiny space on the passenger side, carrying an infant seat and wrestling with a wild 2 year-old who is laughing, she thinks this whole thing is a hoot!
So, I am trying to get the sliding door open. In this cramped spot, I can not use the hand that is holding Remy,nor is there enough room to set her down. I had to let go of Aizee, just long enough to prythe door open. Long enough for her to circle in front of the van, and head right into the driving path of the parking lot!
How I got through the space of my car and the other one, carring Remy in the speed I did, is still ablur! I know I set Remy down right behind my car. Not the safest place, but, I knew I had to get Aizee! This particular parking lot is right next to a VERY BUSY road! Under construction no less! I grabbed her up so fast! Her NG accidentally got pulled a little too. She saw the look on my face and got very upset! I did not say a word. I carried her back to the van, picked up Remy and, holding her (I will be eternally glad that she is small enough to be in an infant seat! Can you just imagine how a million times worse this would have been? I still shudder to think!)
I got Aizee into her car seat. Brianna, such a big girl, had already gotten into her car seat right when Aizee took off. I couldn't praise her enough! I got Aizee buckled in, and then took Remy from her infant seat and put her into her other carseat. I am still shaking by the way, and Aizee is still upset.
I snuggled her a bit, and told her that was NOT OKAY! And why. She calmed down, and then everything was fine. Now, the tricky part of pulling out a mini-van out between a SUPER sized suburban and a rather large Oldsmobile. Lucky for me, there was a really nice lady who helped direct me out. All the while getting sneered at by a different lady who yacked away on her cell phone and acting like we were somhow the blame for her life. Ohwell.
So, we get home, and right when we do, a giant storm breaks. It has been threatening it here and there, but finally, it did somthing.
The girls played all afternoon. Went downstairs and played on all the blow-up stuff. They had a blast as always.
Great News! Since Aizees counts have stayed stable, they increased her meds a little. Well, her Methetrexate. Then, next week, Kate will come here and do a blood draw. If her counts are still good, she may go back to 100y
Sorry, I get really nervouse about relapse. I fear that if the meds stay too low, then, the evil cancer has a chance to take a foothold again! So, I want her at 100apacity to keep it away forever! I know that isn't how it really works, but, I think like that anyway!
I wanted to thank everyone from RAOK for all the wonderful welcomes!

Thank-you all who visit us! It is greatly appreciated!
I am going to put some links here. I have a ton, I will try to add as many as I can. I try to 'rotate' them at times.
On these pages are yet more links to even more children. So, if you get an extra moment or two, please visit who you can when you can! It really does mean a lot to all of us! Thank-you!
Please visit our guest-book, and sign it anytime you like!
A ton of love and hugs from this family to all! Have a Yippee day!
Katia Jackie
Brittany Zacharyd Brian Cameron Chassidy Hannah and Madeline TaylorJohnson
Luke ConorFord
I know that there are SO many more. Sorry that I am not able to just list them all!
Here are some for pages of Angels that have left here and gone on. If you can take a moment and place a word or two of comfort for their families who really miss them...
Colby Jalen Rashid Seth BrandonTroy
Thank-you.

Wednesday, June 18, 2003 9:20 PM CDT

Okay, I am trying new tricks, and not too many are working here. I tried to put a ton of kids links on the part above, so they will always be there, but, only half came, then I had no more room, for some reason for anything else. I guess it will just be somthing else to practice.
We go to a clinic visit tommorow. Just vincristine. And CBC. However, I will have all 3 girls by myself, and Remy is at the age where she is not wanting to just hang-out and be mellow. It is going to be a busy day!
They have been outside everyday! What a turn-around from last year!
Aizee lost her NG this morning, and I just could not reinsert it. I figured I'd wait for them to do it in clinic. If it was more than one day, I would have, but, she usually vomits it up on the way down the canyon anyway.
Nothing else to really write right now. So, I will give you all a heads up after her appointment!
Please visit these kids! And any of the other links found on their pages-
Jackie
Katia
Brittany
Hannah and Madeline
Please visit these pages of these angels and leave a kind word for their families
Rashid
Colby
Jalen
Thank-you for stopping by! Please view and/or sign the guest-book! Thank-you! Have a Yippee day!

Thank-you to all who visits us!
Thank-you To the RAOK people! Those pictures are delightful! I show my daughters and they love them! I am telling everyone I know about you and that wonderful place! God-Bless!

Happy Fathers day to all out there! For some great poems and stuff, please visit Katias page. Her mom sure finds some awsome stuff! Her link is a the bottom.
The bracelet graphic on this page was done by a dear friend of mine whos son has passed on. Rashid.
I am going to attempt to add some links here at the end. His will be one of them.
I hope everyone has had a great daddy day. We did. Rob was supposed to go to work. At the last minute, his boss called and said she just realized it was Fathers day and told him she would work instead. Thank-you Vicki! So, well, the morning was uneventful. The girls played and Rob and I just hung-out. Just relaxing. After lunch, we loaded the kids up and went to the store. Got some little things for a barbeque. Browsed awhile as well. My mom is out of town until July. I invited my dad to join us, but he declined. So, Rob got a little grill, one of those $15 jobs. He had to put it together. So, while he was tinkering, the girls and I played outside. I let them run wild while I weeded the trees. The yard here is huge, but it has been neglected. Doing yard work reminded me of a few years ago. We found a nice house to rent. It had a very landscaped yard. Flower beds, tree spots, the works. When we moved in, I was excited to take care of it. I could put out the kid stuff like wading pools and the like, they would play and I could do yard work. I was so looking forward to it. Then, Aizee got cancer. All last year, we could rarely leave the house, due to her feeling like crap and low counts, etc. Plus, she started with a PIC line then a broviack, so that discounted water play. We spent almost an entire summer inside. So, there went to dreams of yard work. Our landlords were not very understanding. That is a story better of unwritten. So, now, we live in a different house and have really terrific landlords. This year, Aizee has a port-a-cath. We play outside a lot. They have several kiddy pools, sprinkler, swingset, play house, and two different slide/climbing whatever things. So, they run around and play, I weed this yard. I brought one Yellow rose bush back to life. It is a huge yard, so I am trying to take it day by day.
Rob cooked steaks on his new grill. We had a great dinner. He insisted on cooking it. I feel bad because it is his day, but that is what he wanted to do.
Aizee insisted on sleeping in heavy footy jamies. She looked a little pale when she fell asleep tonight. I know I will never stop fretting. I know this fear will never leave.
Her NG came out yesterday. Normally I wait until near bedtime to reinsert it. To give her 'the day off'. But, she was already upset and crying, I figured I just better re-do it while she was already upset, instead of ruining a good mood later. She fought a little, but not near as much as she can and will! They played outside in the water almost all day yesterday!
Brianna was upset again about her Nuni and Grandaddy being gone. She was talking about flying on an airplane to go see them tonight as she was falling asleep. Soon, I told her. I hope that is true.
Anyway, thank-you for visiting. I will attempt a link here and hope it works!
Sign the gueatbook anytime! Have a Yippee day!
Jackie
Rashid
I hope they work. Luck!

Friday, June 13, 2003 9:09 AM CDT

On June 12, Colby got his wings. Please take a minute and click on his link below and visit his page.
Colby, what a fighter. 2/14/98-6/12/03
Also, please visit Jalen's page. His link is on Katias page. So, you need to visit her too.=)

Well, Nuni and Grandaddy left. It is very quiet and lonely here. Brianna is really upset. Aizee seems confussed and Remy keeps going up the stairs, and into our bedroom where they stayed, and seems to be looking for them. It is going to be a few days adjustment period.
We had a huge storm last night. One big show! Great flashes of lightning, earth-shaking thunder. Then a bit of a downpour. It was neat. I love storms. But, I hope it warms up enough for the girls to play outside a bit.
I've been spoiled. I am really going to miss the company. Plus, Nuni is very crerative in her ways of getting the girls to 'chill-out'. Grandaddy could always get Remy to stop being cranky. She is teething BIG time.
So, well, nothing else to really say. Just that it was wonderful having them and really sad now that they had to go.
Congratulations Amy on finnishing Kindergarten. I can not believe how time flies.
We are hoping Rob gets a job out there sometime.
Anyway, thanks for stopping by. Sign the guestbook anytime. Have a Yippee day.

Wednesday, June 11, 2003 11:30 PM CDT

Hey there all!
Well, Nuni and Granddaddy go home on Friday. I am sad already. It will be so lonely here without them. I really wish somthing great will come through and we can move there, or near there!!! All in good time I guess.
So, it has been threatening rain here and really doing nothing but being cloudy and wet enough to make a mess.
The last couple of days were uneventful. Just the kids getting all the attention possiable from their grand-parents! I am totally letting them take over. It has been great.
Yesterday, Aizee vomited a huge amount. Of course her NG came up. I had to fight her to reinsert it. To make it worse, she was fighting so hard, I needed Rob to help me. He had to hold her while I put it in.
It was so awful, it had EVERYONE in tears. Except Brianna and Remy. They have no clue. Which is good. So, this morning, right when she woke-up, Nuni was helping her down the stairs holding the pole because Aizee was still connected to the kangaroo pump, she vomited a little at the top of the stairs. So, I stopped the feed and disconnected her and all of that. Checked her temp. No temp. Later she started to throw-up clear stuff out of the blue. She has found some way to throw up and now keep her ng down. Odd new talent. I check her temp and it has gone up. I call the clinic. I got a nurse who has never seen Aizee so I had to explain that I had a brain and knew what I was doing etc. That drives me nuts!!! ERG!Plus, I am a naturally fast talker, so she thought I was all overly excited and thought I needed calming down. That made me laugh. Nuni and Grandaddy had plans to see some relatives this afternoon. So, I requested Kate, her nurse to come and do a blood draw. But, the schedualling would not work to get the sample, then lab, then results. So, they wanted Aizee to come in. We go. The grandparents cancelled their plans so they could stay home with Briannna and Remy. I felt so bad! I drove Aizee to the hospital, an hour away. She threw up all the way there. She was so upset about her 'rella'. That is how she refers to dresses. As 'rellas' short for Cinderella! Cute huh? Plus, she is fussy. She is not one to be messy. Hate it when her hands are dirty. The works. Poor thing. Still managed to keep her ng in the whole time!
So, in clinic. I got a nurse who has seen us before, but a new doctor that has never seen her before and a medical student just visiting for a week. Okay, I am all for education and making rounds, introducing new people. But, I think it should be done with those who we are familiar with. Like, If Doc Lemmons or Brugers of BArnett, or any of the others who have been with Aisalynn and knows us and the history etc, then, it would be a lot more comfortable and less time consuming. Not just be like here is our new guy from another country, here you go. I find that frustrating. Anyway, Aizee was a doll. Charming as always.
Fully cooperative. Nothing is wrong. Her counts are fine. But, her white count is high. Her white count needs to be between 500-1000. Her last clinic for vinc it was 1100. Now it is close to 1300. And, no one could tell mewhy she was vomiting.
When we got back home, I tried calling Lesley, one of her pediatricians. I got her voice mail. We went out, so I missed her return call. I am really nervouse about all of this. I need to 'touch base' about where her treatment is headed, where she is at in the relapse possiablity and a catrillion other questions. I am tired of being terrified. I look like a racoon!
So, well, we get home and Aizee is off the wall. In full Impy force. What really scares me is that she has never followed the usual thing from day one. She is a hard cookie to read. I am always guessing!
Rob wanted to know if we should order in or go out. I am so emotionally drained, and tired, etc. I figued going out would be fun. We went to a restearant that has a big natural hot spring pond. Swans, Geese and ducks. The girls love throwing them bread. Our waitress was awsome. She kept bringing out half loaves of bread for them. There area also a ton of goldfish in this spring/pond. They were more aggressive than I have ever seen them! Feeding frenzy.
Well the girls just were too wound up or somthing, so , we left earlier than I had wanted to. My decision. I did it out of consideration of other diners.
Anyway, everyone is in bed now.
Please visit Colbys page. Please, pray for him and his family. They really need it! It is a really sad time.

Colby got his wings today, June 12. Please go and place some kind words for his family in this serioulsy sad time! Thank-you. February-14 1998-June-12 2003

Please visit Katias page as well. and any/ all of the links you can that are found there. There are so many preciouse children. I want the whole world to find out about them! I want so many prayers for them all!
Thank-you for visiting here. Please sign the guest-book and have a Yippee day!

Sunday, June 8, 2003 11:17 PM CDT

Hi everyone. What a day today! So much to tell. It was a great day. Goeing to the farm and visiting all of the relatives! See, Nuni's mom's sister married a farmer who moved her here. They have a huge farm. Right on a huge bird preserve. Aunt Katherine and Uncle Steve have now passed away. However, there kids work together to maintain it. The land is rented out but they keep up the house and the property surrounding it. It makes a beautiful place for get togethers. Steve Jr. and Susan with their daughter Emily (who is now 26! Wow!), And Jimmy and Michelle with Franchesca. Linda showed up later. We had a barbe-q picnic thing. It was fun. We took the girls for a walk along the little trail by the irrigation ditches in search of wild asparugus and bird watching. Remy made the rounds through the relatives. She really went for Emily! Franchesca and Brianna and Aisalynn had a lot of fun just being silly girls. Franchesca is only 10, but she is great with little kids. Aizee was in full Impy form! Charming everyone with her mischieviouse ways!
A lot of just hanging out, chatting, having fun. Another distant relative on the Yapo side showed up on his Brand-new 2003 Harley. Anniversarry addition. Road King! Silver. Georgeouse Motorcycle! This guy was so cool. He let the girls sit on it with cousin Jimmy! I can not wait for those pictures to be developed. What great pictures! Aizee DID NOT want to get off! Man!
The life long neighbor from down the road came for a visit. Oh ya, they have peacocks. One had come for a visit earlier. I got the girls to sit still to watch it. This is also the neighbor who owned the Turkey that befriended Brianna her first Easter. Anyway, he came by for a visit tooling along on his electric scooter with his 3 year-old son. His name is Tristin. He and Aizee got into a little hassel over Croquette balls. Kids sure are funny. They each had a ball, but kept going up to each other and defiantly saying " MY BALL" Then, we all went inside for a fruit tart. He and Brianna shared a chair. Aizee of course did not really eat anything all day.
It was a very long, hot, busy, fun filled day. We all had a wonderful time. Nuni got to visit all of her family. Wally too. They went with Steve to visit the graveyard to put flowers on relatives graves.
It was a little tricky to get some overly tired babies to bed. Aizee felt a little warm, but not a seriouse fever. I am keeping an eye on her. Remy is still awake! Man!
Anyway, that is what we did today!
Thank-you for visiting us. Please sign Aizees guest-book.
If you get a chance, please click on One of the childrens links below and visit them, and on their pages are lilnks to yet more children, etc. Please visit any that you can. Our love and hugs from us to you! Have a Yippee day!

Friday, June 6, 2003 11:48 PM CDT

Hello out there! Well Remy is now one. I am happy and sad. I mean, she is my last child. So, it is a big thing right there. Also, her first year has zipped by so fast. Much of it tied to Aizees illness. That is one reason I love PCMC. Everytime Aizee was hospitalized, they allowed me to bring Remy. That way, I did not have to choose between which baby to stay with. It would have made everything so much more awful. I mean, being with out Brianna was hard, but she enjoyed being at my parents where she got spoiled rotten. Still, anyway...
So, they played a ton. A bit more than usual. Birthdays are great for throwing things out of whack!=)
I love my mom-in-law. Especially because she words things so funny. The kids couldn't settle down for bed. She said " They've been over done" Well, that left her wide-open for Rob to tease her! So, he was telling me to stop over-cooking the kids! How dare I treat them like turkeys and the like. It was funny. She is cute!
Remy got a little people fischerprice doll house from Nuni and Grandaddy. And an outfit. She loved the house. The outfitt, well, when you are one, who cares? She will wear it Sunday when we go to the farm for the family get-together.
My parents got her a little slide, house structure for the yard, along with a ton more toys. They willneed a seperate sand box just for the sand toys! My mom also got her a cute dress with blommers and shoes.
Aunt Ruth sent her some great books with cute little stuffed animals! Thank-you!!!!
Uncle Wally, Aunt Mary and the kids sent her some adorable clothes! Thank-you!!!!
We got her a dollie, a ball toy, a talking caterpiller toy, some pooh shoes and a blue's clues house.
It was a fun time. Remy wasn't too sure what to make of the cake. She mooshed the froting about and made a HUGE mess. But, when she tried it, oh man!! Then it was all over! Kids and cake!
Proves once again how much Aizee is like her nuni, she ate like a bird and was VERY tidy about it! Haha. Even Nuni has noticed how much Aisalynn acts like her. It is fun.
I will tell more later. I am tired, it was a very busy day!
I think back on Aizees first birthday. Well, to Brianna's. I trace how much our life has changed.
Like two seperate lives! Then and now. Life is so odd!!

To anyone who hasn't, please visit Katias page to say hello there, and then, click on Jalens link just to say somthing, if you can. Our love and hugs from this family to yours. Visit our guestbook please! Thank-you so much to those who have! Have a Yippe day!

Tuesday, June 3, 2003 7:43 PM CDT

Hello all. A dear friend of mine created this neat graphic for Aizee's page. Her sons page can be found at
http://rashid.nl/rashid_english.htm.
I hope that link works. I am practicing getting those right next. Along with getting the pictures to upload smaller.
My really terrific friend Summer resized some of them. I am hoping I get them to upload properly!

Well, the girls are haveing A BLAST with Nuni and Grandaddy. And they are loving every second of it.
Never a dull moment=)
Non stop commotion and activity! Water play and sand play almost all day. Playing chase and the like.
Nuni is trying to teach Brianna how to do a little bit of needle point.
Remy took her first step today!!! I am very happy and sad. Happy that she is growing up so well and healthy. Sad because my last baby is almost no longer a baby.
Nuni took Rob and I for a hair-cut. Brianna wanted one too. It was so cute to watch Brianna in the beauty parlor. So seriouse and intrigued. Her hair came out so adorable. I mean, she has a headful of curles, so, I just let it go wild. But now she looks all mature!
I got a new 'do too. It is pretty funky. I was teasing Nuni about getting it bleached blond and she was like " I'm not going to pay for it!" I like to tease her about my more wild side. SHe takes it in stide and is fun about it!
However, I am not sure if she really means she won't let me into her house with purple hair.
Rob got his hair shorn off. His once a year thing. It was funny. Right before they got here, I told him " You know what the first thing that your mom is going to say, don't you?" He said " Get a hair-cut!" Hahaha. He looks so different to me.
Luckily Aizee was napping, or she'd have felt left out. But, she doesn't have all that much hair back. It took this long to grow what little she has now, I'd have hated even to have a smidgen cut off.
We went to visit Delores and the kids. Nancey and Wally just gushed over the baby. We are going to have Tete over again. It is good for Delores to have a break. Good for Tete too.
We went to the store, then home. The girls played in the yard and Rob and I did yard work. He did most of it, but I did some weed whacking. Talk about numbing of the arms!
Aizee got nailed by our cat!!! I am not sure what happened. Taz is the calmest, most patient cat. It takes a lot to make him mad. I am not sure what happened, but he got her arm good! I had to call the onc. Doc. Because she is very suseptiable to anything. Doc Barnett said to watch her. She seems fine. So far so good.
I had to NG AIzee last night. She lost close to 3 pounds in just one week. I feel so bad. I seem to be always screwing up. I hate this!!!! She did not fight me too bad this time. That made it less traumatic for both of us.
SHe is doing fine. Brianna is being so charming. Remy has latched herself onto Granddaddy. They are buds!!
It is going well for now and I pray for it to continue so!
Thank-you to all who visit us. Thank-you very much for signing the guest book. For those who haven't, please do!
Our love and hugs from this family to yours. Have a Yippee day!


Jalen has been taken to heaven. Though I do not understand God and why he chooses to do the things that he does, he is and does what he will. Please, visit Jalens page and send a prayer or somthing to his family. I have no idea what could help his family feel better at all, but maybe words of comfort, even from strangers may help, if even eventually.
http://www.caringbridge.org/fl/jalen/index.htm

If that link does not work, go to Katias page because I am sure that the link there will work.
Thank-you.

Sunday, June 1, 2003 0:53 AM CDT

Okay, new photos. Why they are so HUGE, I have no idea. I just load 'em up and they expand, or somthing. Guess I need to one day take the time and learn how to get this stuff to work right. Take a class or somthing. Why somtimes they come up normal size, other times, they just grow. I tried to re-do these for over an hour, to get them to shrink and they refuse to cooperate with me. So, pardon that now it is almost impossiable to read the journal.
I will make it short.
The one on this page was taken by a friend. Aizees 2nd or 3rd day. After diagnosis. My hair is over half silver now, if I havn't dyed it blue or pink, or any other color.
Nuni and Grandaddy made it in okay and where immediately set-upon by wild grandkids. So, that is it for now. Aizee seems to be doing fine. I guess. The thing that worries me the most is that by the get go, she has never followed the norm. She NEVER once had any of the traditional ALL signs. Never showed the 'taditional' signs of illness when she got sick after diagnosis. She is even the 'lucky' 1ho suffers psychosis due to the 6mps. So, I figure I will always be guessing. But, as long as I have her to guess about, I am happy!
Please sign the guest book. Our love and hugs from this family to yours. Have a Yippee day!

Wednesday, May 28, 2003 7:58 PM CDT

What a fun day!!! Tete' came over to play.
We had gone over there yesterday for a visit. It was SO hot that we did not go out.
Also, with the meds that Aizee is on, makes her very sun-sensitive.
My mom had brought over a bunch of kiddie pools last week. So, today, Rob went and put air in all of them. Then, we found we didn't have a hose. So, he went and bought one and filled up all of the pools. One is a 6ft by 4 ft. About 3 feet deep. One is a 4 foot circle with a slide. And one is a 5 foot circle flex pool and one is about 2by2 foot, about one foot deep with a 'house' over it.
The girls were so excited. Brianna got up very early this morning because she was so excited. Aizee was in the window all morning watching her daddy.
She was not able to do anything with water for a year and a half. Due to her broviak and her counts. So, just imagine her anticipation!!!
We left and got Tete', picked up a pizza and came back. It was great. All four girls had a riot! Rob and I had a water fight. I won. He kept trying to get me and just never got me! But, I got him a few times! Haha.
Remy had fun splashing in one little pool after another. She managed to collapse the side of the flex pool and made a little river for herself.
Talk about being unprepared though. My mom has the swim-suits at her house. For Brianna when she goes over there. And, the swimmers. Since Aisalynn had not been able to play in water for so long, I just never bought her any water stuff. So, she got to enjoy her first water experience in a 2 ton diaper. Remy too. But, they loved every minute of it. In fact, I figured I better get them in for a break after a few hours of play. I could not get Aizee out of the big pool. I had to pull the plug and let it drain out from under her. Then, she got out.
Looking back, it is weird. I mean, Aizee and Brianna spent their first years in water. One entire summer, before Aizee was a year, they spent a few hours every day in a pool. She wasn't even walking. We moved out of the condo and into a house since we had to stay in this state. And it had a nice yard that I had planned on putting up kiddie pools in for them to play while I gardend or whatever. Then, she got sick. A huge chunk there has been taken out. She is deffinantly not the same little girl she had started out being. I mean, she is still beautiful and smart, and herself, just, older and wiser, more experienced in the horror and pain than any little baby should have to know about. She has had to grow-up quicker than she should have had too. All of us have. But, having her and being able to keep her with us makes it all worth it.
Anyway, the girls played all through the house. Then downstairs on the climbing stuff. Then dinner. Then we took Tete' home. Our three chickies fell instantly asleep. I was amazed that Tete' did not.
So, now, I am letting them watch a movie. It will be hard to get them to bed after their power nap. We are making tentative plans for Tete' to come over once a week. Now that Aizee can start to have a bit of a life again. We are going to take full advantage of it!
When we got home, the house was a disaster. That is something I will need to get used to again. Gradually leaving Hermitsville means having a life and not haveing or needing to be so anal about all the 'unimportant stuff' if you understand what I mean.
Nuni and Granddaddy will be here in a few days. It will be SO much fun! Everyone is excited! It will be a great 12 days!
Wally, those picture are great! Thanks.
Well, thank-you to all who visit here. Please sign the guest-book, for a few reasons. One, I like to know who and when someone visits so I know when to change out the pictures. Two, I am nosy and like to know who visits. Three, I love reading and showing Aizee the entries.
Our hugs and love to everyone out there. Have a Yippee day!

Monday, May 26, 2003 10:47 PM CDT

Hello all! Hope everyone had a nice Memorial day. It was hot here. Rob had to work, and I took the girls to my parents house. We were like one hill away when Aizee vomited everywhere in the car. Of course her NG came up too. Poor little thing. She just wasn't eating, so I had to put one in last night. That always makes the rest of the night hard. However, she ate pretty good today, so I refrained from putting in a new one when we got home.
So, the girls played. My dad took Brianna over to see Gunner. I got Remy down for a nap and Aizee was playing with a little farm set. I didn't know that Brianna had come back and was with my mom in the hot-tub. Aizee wanted to go upstairs, and was SO UPSET when she saw that. So, I called the doc on call and got the okay for her to go in. Remy went in too when she woke-up. My mom had gotten her a little floaty. I got in too. IT was great fun! Then, bath time after that. Remy is not too into baths,until today. I couldn't get her out of the tub!!! Aizee used to love bath time, but now, she doesn't seem to want to stay too long. She is all excited for any type of water play, but, then, I think she gets cold or somthing, because she doesn't like to stay as long as she used to.
Then it was more playtime. Then dinner, then home.
Other than our cat being mad because we limit his outside time, due to the little family of robins, ( the hatchlings are getting ready to learn to fly! YAY! and I know he wants to get them. He sits in the window watching them) it was a pretty mellow day.
Yesterday, all they did was be cranky all day!! It didn't help that I had to limit their outside time due to the meds Aizee is on. Even with 2 layers of sunscreen, she was still getting color.
They were so cute though. Brianna found a great white sailor dress with Red trim. So, Aizee wanted a dress too. She wore one with a flower print.
Brianna likes the trapeze thing on the swingset. She does not want my help to get on it. What she did was take a big dumptruck toy, place a ball in it, then, an upside down cookie tin, then an upside down flowerpot on the top, somehow climbed up it all without falling and got to her prize. Very creative. It looked like somthing out of a cartoon. Aizee likes the netted gazebo. It is another house for her. She and Remy had fun playing peek-a-boo and everything. However, they all were still very cranky and fought a lot more than usual! Must be the new found hot weather!
Please, remember the Troy family in your prayers. Brandon passed away on the 23. If you can, please sign their guest book to let them know you are thinking of them
www.caringbridge.org/ny/brandontroy/

And the links down below.
Our love andhugs from us to all of you. Please sign our guestbook. Have a Yippee day.

Saturday, May 24, 2003 11:00 AM CDT

Hello all. Okay, the picture on this page is before diagnoses. The one on top inside is her first night in ICS. The middle one is when she was on the heavy steroids. The bottom one is when she was on the HEAVY protocol.
Well, yesterday, she was pretty mellow all day. It was a quiet day. Then, seemed to get some energy. So, I took them for a walk. Well, she and Remy rode in the double stroller. Brianna helped push. It was nice. They played in the yard. Aizee insisted on keeping on her coat. It was close to 75degrees out. But, she seemed to be fine. They had a wild bath-time. They were playing in the playroom and she fell asleep very fast. So, I put her to bed. Then, right after I got Brianna into bed, Aizee woke-up wigging out. I am not sure if it was because she fell asleep in one place and woke-up in a different place. I let them watch Shreck. Then got them both back to bed.
Brianna and Remy seem full of stinkerness, but Aizee is moody. She woke-up and has been whiney and easily p.o.! Yo look at her wrong and she gets upset. It has been a tediouse morning. Right now, she is laying down again and it is only 10a.m.. No fever though. Maybe it is because she doesn't have her n.g. in right now and woke-up with low bllod sugar, or she is just not feeling good, or it could just be her. Who knows. See, Helen, the nutritionist gave me eating guidlines for Aizee. If she follows them, then we can keep the n.g. out. If she doesn't, I have to put it back in. On Sunday. So far, she is not eating what or how much she should. I just want her to feel okay and to be okay.
The girls had a blast with clothes this morning. Thank-you Wally, Mary, Lauren, Kellie, and Amy. The girls are very much in appreciation. ANd we are too.
So, here are those addressess again:
Jalen www.caringbridge.org/fl/jalen/index.htm
Katia is on the bottom of this one.
Chassidy www.caringbridgeorg/il/chassidy

There are SO many more! Just visit who you can when you can!

Debbies page for blankets and pictures

http://www.inhershadow.com
Rashids page
www.rashid.nl/rashid_english.htm

Anyway, so far, everything seems to be going okay. Please sign the guest book and have a Yippee day!

Friday, May 23, 2003 10:21 AM CDT

Well, the links I tried to add on the journal part of the page obviously did not come through. I will keep experimenting and finally get it figured out. Plus, that neat graphic. I tried up-loading it several ways and nothing worked. Anyway...
New photos. The one on this page is one taken before 2/22/02. Right before she got REALLY sick. In the photo section is one of her when she first got diagnosed, one of her on the steroids and then one when she was on HEAVY chemo.
Well, Aizee was doing great last night. Full of energy and having fun playing chase with Brianna and Remy. Then, she was being a little scamp at bed time. Eventually she went to sleep. Everything was going fine, until I heard her crying. She was vomiting everywhere. She was covered, her bed, the floor. Her Ng came up. She was hystrerical. Poor little thing. So, I cleaned her up,new jammies, the works and put her in our bed. Then cleaned her bed. She doesn't have a 'normal' bed. It is a volkswagon shaped bed. Complete with top and sunroof. The toddler 'snooze&cruise'. So, that took a bit. Got her back into bed. She was so exhausted. I hate this! I mean, she has to go through so much. Now she can not even sleep at night.
She is grouchy today. And just wants to watch Monsters Inc. I am all for it. She might be fighting something off and conserving her energy is a good way to do it. It is a beautiful day outside today. Maybe, if she seems to feel better in a little bit, we may go out to the yard for a little while. Or, maybe she won't mind if I let Brianna go play while I stand centry in the doorway keeping an eye on her in the playroom and Brianna in the yard...
We shall see. She hasn't even wanted to get dressed so far. She isn't freaking at Remy for geting to near her. When she really feels bad, she gets upset if Remy is even in the same room. Probably because Remy likes to get right on top of her and pick and poke just like a little sister thinks they should. Even if I move the little stinker clear across the house, she takes off right for Aizee. Guess she thinks its fun for her to make so much noise.
Brianna is playing a game right now. Little Miss Mature.
Well, Please visit Katias page and give that family some encouraging words. On her page is a link for Jalen. Please do the same for them. Colby is on both pages. And any other child you feel fit to visit.
Here is a site of my good friend who makes blankets and pictures. Check it out and keep her in mind if you are in need of wanting an extra special something for someone. She created bears for The girls and some blankets. Plus, she drew a portraite of one of my favorite rockstars. SO, I can tell you first hand that her products are top-notch and beautiful. Plus her prices are reasonable.
http://inhershadow.comnewpage8.html/
She also does blankets for an organization that donates them to hospitals and needy children. It is called Linus I believe.
Also, here is an address for a little Angel named Rashid. He is gone, but his story is still here. It is a beautiful page to visit
http://www.rashid.nl/rashid_english.htm/
Also, Chassidy, a girl who's page I got the link from Colby' s page ( I think) just got her bonemarrow transplant. Please, visit her at
http://www.caringbridge.org/il/chassidy/

Anyway, I hope things are going great with everyone out there. Please sign the guest-book and have a yippee day.

Thursday, May 22, 2003 4:25 PM CDT

Hello everyone out there. Well, clinic took A very long time. They get really busy sometimes and this was one of those times. Her port acted up a little bit, but Alise got it work. She got her vincristine. The closer we get to the end, the more nervouse I am getting about some stupid thing happening. Her counts are good. I had to call the clinic when we got home. The dosing instructions on her 6mp's and methetrexate were different than what she had been doing. So, she is still on 75oses. 2 methetrexate, 1/2 6mp and then her Dexamethason.
After clinic, my mom took us to Mcdonalds. They have a new one with a new playland. It was pretty neat. I have not set foot in a Mcdonalds for about 3 years now. This was a first. The girls love it. The playground. I was suprised the food didn't make me ill! Remy got a hold of my sundae. What a chocholate mess she was. My mom laughed. Oh ya, in clinic. My mom was holding Remy. Aizee and I had gone back to the room already. My mom was hanging in the family play area with Brianna and Remy. Remy was kissing my mom, then bit her. She has her other top tooth coming in. She is gnawing on EVERYTHING! Painful to nurse her sometimes. I think she will be weaned pretty quick!
She will be one soon. Time goes by so fast.
So, now, I am going to attempt to put some links here. Hope they work. Also, a friend made Aisalynn a neat graphic. I will try to place it here tonight. I want to see if the links work, then do the graphic.
I hope all is well with you and yours. Please sign the guest book and have a Yippee day!
Katia

Tuesday, May 20, 2003 10:27 AM CDT

WELL! What a night! Okay, yesterday was uneventful until around 3:30 or so. Aizee took over a 5 hour nap and I could not get her to wake-up. She wouldn't even respond and roll over. That can mean low 'crit' counts. Then, I decided to take her temp. She didn't feel warm, but I thought I'd just see. It was 101.9. So, I called clinic. I told Laura that she didn't feel warm. But what the thermometer read. She talked to Doc Wagner and he suggested we come down. Thing was, clinic was closing soon. SO, I was told to go to the ER. They'd be expecting us. So, I made arrangements for my folks to watch Brianna. Then hurry and packed us all a bag. You know, when I am prepared, we get to leave. BOY! Was Aizee and Remy ever mad when I dropped Brianna off and they didn't get to stay. I hate that. I feel so mean.
ER was not busy until 5 minutes after we walked in. Since she is an immunecomp kid, she gets to go to RTU to start. We hung out in a sleep room. She got examined by a new res/doc that we havn't seen before. She checked out fine. This is what gets me. She will seem sick and have a fever at home. At the hospital, her fever is gone and she seems fine. I will even double check her temp a few times before leaving, because this has happened before. It is a half and half thing. Ohwell. Then, the "Groovey' doc came in and wanted chest x-rays. Aizee has gotten really brave about so much. She used to scream and all of that every x-ray. Now, she takes it all in stride. I like the little treasures they give kids after such ordeals. She chose two tiny scate boards for fingers. Funny.
Then we got an an er room. When Aizee saw the nurse with the needle, she paniced. See, in clinic, she is not bothered by it. Probably because she has never been out-right hurt there. She trusts her clinic nurses. Plus, she knows them all. But, she has been hurt a few times in the ER. I told this nurse about her past experiences. There was a paramedic trainee there. He told me this nurse was great. And she was. Actually, the staff tonight was very competent. The night took forever though. A few ambulences came in, and a life flight. WHo knows what else. Busy time. Aizee and the little girl across the hall kept looking at each other. This other little girl, her face was so tiny. If you put her in a big fancy dress and then set her on a shelf, her perfect little beauty and her eyes, she'd make a perfect doll!
So, we fianlly got released about 12:45 or so. I had promised Aizee Wendy's. Good thing the drive-through stays open late. Then, that took a bit. Tech. difficulties or something. Drive to my folks and get Brianna. Then, driving along. No problems, until by RockPort. A big resiviour. Very isolated and dark area. Two lane road with NOTHING at all around for MILES! I get a flat. Okay, I know how to change a flat tire. But, not in pitch black, alone in the middle of nowhere with 3 little girls in the car. So, I managed to drive about 15 miles home, very slowly and bumpy.
But, we made it. Rob checked it out today. I thought I seriously torn up somthing. The Rim wasn't even bent. The alignment most deffinantly, but we shall see.
So, I got to bet around 3:00 am and Remy was up bright and early. I am a tired mommy today. But as long as the girls are fine, I am too.
Aizee just seems tired. I am supposed to call the clinic in 12 minutes to see what is the plan now. Hope they don't want me to go anywhere!
Well, sign the guest-book and have a YIPPEE day!

Monday, May 19, 2003 10:37 AM CDT

The baby birds are hatched! Yaya! We were eating breakfast and I saw these little beaks popping up all over the place! I think there are at least 3 in there. The daddy bird sure is busy. And mommy Robin too. Lots of worms. I can't get over how rough the mommy appears to be. Cramming a worm into her kid. =)
Now Taz is in a tizzy to get out there. I didn' think he'd notice, but I saw him lurking in the window, watching. So, now I make him wait. I figured out they rest all afternoon. Their busy times are early morning and evening. He throws a fit. The girls find it funny. Aizee now tries to 'mother' the cat. She gives him a toy and tells him to play with that. And 'no hurt me birdee'.
She loves to be in the window, along with Brianna, watching them. I am also filming it as much as I can to show them later.
Yesterday, we stayed inside for the first half of the day. It looked so nice out, but it was cold. They all played together without too much fighting. That was very nice. Then, we went to the 'bouncy room', to play on all of the inflateabl stuff. Lunch, then rest. Then I took them to the grocery store to get more sunscreen and stuff. I just want to tell everyone out there that people do kind things out of the blue. I misjudged the tax again and was shorted up by two items. No biggie. Just extra stuff I'd thought I'd try to squeak in and the nice guy behind us bought them. I was a little floored by it.
Anyway, we got home and played in the yard while I fixed dinner. We were eating on the deck and even Aizee was eating. All was going well, then Aizee started vomiting. Not a coughing jag that induced it either. Just out of nowhere vomiting. All over the place. then she wanted her jammies. She had a little fever, so I called the on-call onc. Doc. Dr. Barnett. The one who laughs like Howdy-Doody. He informed me that there is a stomache virus out there that is causing some trouble. As long as her fever does not go over 100, we are okay. So far, it has right at 100. She seems just ducky today. Even last night, she rebounded.
Her next clinic visit is at 9a.m. on the 22. I always have a bag packed. The times I don't we end up being admitted. So, when I am prepared, all goes great and we get to leave!
Brianna is counting down the days for her grandparents visit. Congratulations Kelly on your first Communion. Your Nuni called to tell us about it. Sounds like a fun and serious event. Glad it went well!
Well, another decieving day. Looks lovly out, but freezing. So, another day downstairs.
Please visit Jalens sight http://www.caringbridge.org/fl/jalen/index.htm
He and his family need prayers.
Please sign the guestbook. Our love and hugs from us to you , have a Yippee day.

Saturday, May 17, 2003 11:20 PM CDT

NEW PHOTOS!!!! YAY!
Well, Yesterday was a bright sunny day. So, we went out and played! Aizee drove the car by herself, then she and Brianna, then by herself again. Safari is fun! Brianna thought maybe she could ride her bike in the grass. That did not work too well. Remy played on the little slide, then decided to sample some dirt. Much to my dismay, she liked it! EW! So, I spent much of my time keeping variouse yard growth out of her mouth. SHe had such a dirty little face, it was cute. We enjoyed a nice lunch out on the deck. Then rest-time. Aizee has been sleeping a lot. But, no fever. As long as she has energy and no fever, and is getting enough to drink, I am trying not to worry so much. It is hard not to though. Brianna almost fell asleep too, but she is the master at keeping awake. Remy slept great!
After rest, we went back outside. I had promised Brianna that she could ride her bike on our driveway. It is like a road unto itself. I also brought out the car for Aizee to go tearing around. We have a horse corral and the like. It looks like it would be fun to let them tear around in there, but, I am not sure what all lurks in those areas. So, I keep them more or less in the 'tame fields'. Brianna reallay wants to go down to the river. Which runs right by the back half of the yard. But, it is a bit of an incline, so I do not feel confident in taking 3 little girls there. We will just have to see, maybe later and with Rob along.
So, anyway, did a lot of playing, chalk art, etc. Then, it got really cold fast. Inside to the climbing stuff. All three have such a blast. Then dinner, bath and bed.
Today, we went to visit my parents. Aizee played dress-up. She does not get as into it as Brianna. They went over to Gunners and Aunders house and played. It started to rain. They had fun. Home again home again jiggity jig.
My dad bought me a scanner. So, I am having fun figuring out re-sizing and the like.
14 more days until Nuni and Grandaddy visit. The girls are SO excited.
Happy Birthday Lauren. Have fun in 'Annie'! That must be so exciting for you!
Happy anniversary to Andy and Nancy.
Please sign the guestbook. Thanks for doing so.
Our love and hugs from us to you. Have a Yippee day!

Friday, May 16, 2003 11:43 AM CDT

The pictures are the same for now. The Make-A-Wish people came and it was a fun visit. They are really nice. We had a lot of paperwork to go through. But, it is worth it. It was cute. Aizee loves tiara's. So, it was funny because they brought her a new one, without even knowing she liked them! Brianna got a Rubber Ducky Derby pin, that I put on her PowerPuff girl purse. Remy got a little red doggie.
Learning how this organization got startede is a real intense story. If I had a scanner, I'd put it here.
Anyway, The girls played in the yard almost all afternoon yesterday. Aizee drove their little car all over. Great yard for a safari drive. The previouse people let the yard die. So, it is a nice huge field of feild grass and weeds. That works. I do not have to worry about it getting trashed by their toys. Brianna loves to pick dandilions. So, I have a few hundred in a vase as our center piece on the dining room table. Remy has learned how to climb-up the 2 little steps of the little slide and go down by herself. It is fun to watch. We ate dinner on the deck. That was a nice treat, for all!
Other than Aizee's ng coming out last night, everything went great. It almost came out in the bath, but she caught it! I put on a new tagaderm and we both thought it was fine. Only it slipped out later. She tried so hard to not lose it, and it happened anyway. That was not fun.
We saw the Lunar eclipse. That was neat.
So, now, I am taking them out to the yard. Maybe to the park. We shall see. Tommorow we are goiing to my parents house, and I hope they get to play with Gunner and Aunders. I wish I knew what her counts were right now, then I'd be a little less nervouse. Ohwell.
Please sign the guest-book and have a Yippee day!

Tuesday, May 13, 2003 11:49 PM CDT

We got to go out and play today! And yesterday! Yayayyay!
It finally got nice out. The girls are just loving it! We are too! We took Tete with us today too, so that was an extra treat for them. We went to Trailside park both days. Consider that our new day residence! haha. Actually, we pack a lot of snacks and stay as long as it seems safe for Aizees health. She had me nervouse last night. She was being really nuts. She is usually only like that right before we get admitted to the hospital for low counts. Like her psychotic behaviour over compensates for something. However, she has seemed fine today. Just a little crazy but not like how she was last night.
Tommorow is going to be exciting. The people for Make-A-Wish foundation are coming. Not only that, but Aizees chosen sponser asked if Aizee could be filmed for a documentary they are shooting about the wishing process. I am excited for her. She deserves all of the perks she can get. I had suggested Disney wherever. World or Land. She loves rides and people, etc. Also, she loves Minnie Mouse and Pooh Bear. Watched almost every Disney Movie. But Lisa explained that they play a 'wishing' game. It is tricky with little kids, and Aizee is right on the border of being acceptable. 2 and a half. I told her, whatever is Aizees true wish is fine with us. Even if it is a trip to a burger joint. Whatever. She is the one having to go through all of this hell, she is the one who gets to choose what she wants for her. I had thought Disney for Brianna too. She has also suffered. Her whole life got thrown into a tail-spin as well. I wanted a perk for everyone. But she likes burgers too. So, we shall see. I am nervouse. I have no idea what to expect. I am sure it will go fine.
She is daddy's little buddy. Rob had to run into the store for a minute and she is like "Daddy, yoohoo!" I had to laugh. That little voice. She has suddenly become more coherent. Finally. Amazing too that she is as verbal as she is. I've heard that some kids on her type of chemo stop talking and it takes a few years for them to talk again, if they havn't gone deaf. So far, her eyes have held out. Her ears still work. Her teeth are fine. Though she hasn't gotten that much hair back, she has kept what she has grown back. OTher than that one episode of being crippled due to low platelettes and bleeding in the knee, everything is fine on her. The one sad thing I have noticed is, how she gets upset if she cries if she is hurt. Like she has set these high standards for herself. So, if she falls and gets hurt, she acts mad at herself and doesn't want comfort. She seems to get more upset by showing weakness than she does at actual pain. That is so sad to me. She isn't even three, and yet, thinks she has to be so tough. I am still treading around how to handle this. I do not want to impose upon her, yet, I want her to be able to accept comfort and that it is okay to be upset. We all get hurt and that she doesn't always have to be so tough. I plan on talking with our social worker, Kathy next clinic visit.
Let me put and explanation here about that too. My good friend Summer had asked why we have a social worker. I have also had others ask. All families who have been given this type of deal in life get one. They are someone to help ease burdens. To help find rescources, to make sure the family structure is holding up under the intense emotional and financial burden. To help the family keep it together. Someone to offer guidence and the like. So, when I ask Kathy a question, she can help me find someone who can help. Then there is Julie, who we call the Toy Lady. She works for Child Life. They too help in easing stress. So, like when Aizee gets her port accessed, she is there, with fun books and toys to distract her from the needle. Plus, she is a great help to talk to. Along with all of the great nurses and techs. And the docs. Actuall, if it wasn't for the competence of the staff at Primaries, this hell would be that much harder to live.
Brianna asks everyday if today is the day for Nuni and Granddaddy to show-up. Remy is almost walking. Now, her top teeth are coming in. She plays chase with her sisters now too. So, 2 little girls running in circles with one crawling right behind. I find it wonderful!
Well, we hope all is well with you and yours. Have a yippee day. Please sign the guest book. Thanks.

Friday, May 9, 2003 10:19 AM CDT

Well, I figured I I don't change photos, I can at least change the scenery. This one seemed nice and colorful!
Well, yesterday started bright and beautiful. Then got cloudy and cold. We played on the inflatable climbing stuff all morning. Then, after lunch and rest time, it was nice enough to go outside and play in the yard. It was wonderful. Aizee just loves running around. It is so easy to entertain her! The girls and I played chase. We have a little slide (the weather has not been nice enough to construct their swing-set yet) and Remy spent the whole time determined to climb up the 2 little steps by herself! I sent her down the slide a couple of times and she loved it. But anytime I tried to help her up the little steps, she'd whack at me! Fiesty little thing!
Then, I got out the side-walk chalk for them. So, we went to the driveway to have fun. Also, there was a great little puddle to splash in. Aizee just liked dropping rocks into it. But Brianna, being her usual funny self decided to wallow in it. So, then it was an early bath night! Oh well, they had a lot of fun, and it was worth the mess!
I am so excited for the girls to see their Nuni and Granddaddy!
Brianna stopped asking every morning if it was May yet. Until today. Now she has started again. It will be fun!
Aizee is dressed like a fairy-butterfly with a wand.
She has grown really tall very quickly! I mean, clothes that fit her just last week are now too short in the legs and torso! But Brianna is still very petite. So, now they share a size! And Remy has already started to out-grow 12month sizes! I was not prepared for this. I mean, Brianna fit 6month clothes at over a year. Remy has already outgrown some outfitts that Brianna was wearing when she was almost 2. Man, was she tiny.
I can not believe that Remy will be one year soon. June 6th. Time really does fly!
The little Robin family are doing okay. Despite the fact that it snowed again last night. We woke-up to an inch or so outside today. But the little lady bird looks nice and cozy. I hope that the weather stays nice when the babies are hatched.
I know we need to water due to scant snowfalls the last year or so, but I am tired of being housebound. We stayed inside all year last year(winter, spring, summer and fall) due to Aizee being on active therapy. Now that she is on maintanance, and her counts do not fluctuate THAT much, I want to be able to let them go out and play! To allow Aizee to be a kid again.
I remeber the summer before she was ill. We lived right next to the park. I'd walk them up to Robs work everyday. They'd go swimming for an hour or so. IT was so fun! Then, back to the condo for lunch and nap. Then over to the park to play. Then I'd push them a mile uphill to Main street for Ice cream. Then back to the park. Then home fopr dinner and bed. Or walk to Eduardos to visit all of our friends. Sushi-boy still lived here too.
I'd take Aizee with me to visit friends at the Pig-Pen while Brianna was in pre-school. Just add Remy to the mix then, and it would have all been perfect.
Amazing how fast life changes.
Well, please sign the guest book. Our love and hugs from us to you. Have a Yippee day!

Wednesday, May 7, 2003 10:52 AM CDT

Still the wedding photos.
Well, yesterday was a daddy home day! He and the girls had a blast playing! I got to take a nap! yay!
Then, we had lunch and rest-time. After that, we went to visit Eduardo, Dolores, Tete', and the baby.
I was holding Jr. and Remy got SO jelouse. Her big blue eyes got even bigger with shock when she saw me holding the noisy little critter! The look on her face, I couldn't help laughing! Rob held her so I could hold the baby for Lola while she fixed his bottle. Then, the rest of the time we were there, Remy kept an eye on him. Everytime he made a peep or whatever, she was right there, checking on him. It was so cute! I never expected such a reaction from her.
The three girls had a blast being silly as usual. Dolores is healing just fine. Everything with her Doc. appointment checked out great with the two of them.
We had hoped to go back today and take the girls to the park, but it is cloudy today. So, we will just see.
Plus we have to wait for a pharmacy delivery.
See, two nights ago, Aizees tube got pulled out. I had to put a new one in. I HATE doing that, and it is getting harder to do each time! Plus she got a nose bleed that time. I called the on-call oncologist. She told me to keep an eye on it. Phew, it stopped later!
Early this morning, say about 5:30 or so, I am woken from deep sleep to find Aizee retching. This new tube had come up. So, here I am in a daze trying to clean-up this mess and Remy wakes up yelling for me too. Eventually, I got everything cleaned up, new jammies, etc. Everyone back to sleep.
I called the clinic hoping they'll say not to worry about doing a new one. No such luck. Pam suggested to slow the running down. See, she used to be able to tolerate 4 cans at 80. After her bout with phenomonia, it got lowered to 3 at 60. That has been no problem at all until last night. I swear, everytime I think I have a handle on this, it changes. I guess I better just realize I will never have any idea what is going to happen next in this. But the great news is she does not have a fever. Being grateful for the small stuff!
So, Rob is off again today.
Brianna is the Queen of Dawdle. If allowed to, she can stretch her breakfast for lets say 2 or so hours? It gets obnoxiouse. But she does eat every bite. Aizee hasn't eaten anything yet today. And Remy is one busy baby.
I am hoping for the weather to clear-up. I want to go to the park! Tete' loves going too, and it is fun for everyone!
Mrs. Robin is fine and happy. Watching her through the window is fun. I love how birds scootch their little rumps around to get cozy. Rob and I make sure she is in her nest before we let out the dogs or the cat. If we do not see her there, no one goes out until she is safe in her nest. That may be one reason Brianna goofs off so much at the table? Who knows.
Well, that is it for now. Our love and hugs from us to you. Please sign the guest book. Especially so I know when these pictures have been viewed by everyone. May get me to develope the other rolls quicker!=b
Have a yippee day!

Monday, May 5, 2003 10:31 AM CDT

Hello all. Sorry those pictures turned out to be so GIANT! But, they are staying there until I get my new roll developed. And, knowing me, that will be in about 3 years. Haha. Anyway, if you twiddle around enough, you get to see all 3 girls. Remy is in the last one.
Also, I stand corrected, Summer is due in JULY!
It is really icky here. It started snowing yesterday and the snowflakes were as huge as Swan feathers. I'd never seen flakes that big before.
We have a huge window in our kitchen and that is right where our table is. There is a tree right outside of this window, and in this tree, a little Robin family has taken up residence. I was really worried about them. Still am because it is still cold outside. I mean, here we are in May, and we have 3 inches of snow in our yard.
At least the girls got to get out and play on Saturday. I took them over to my folks house. They then took them to go play at Gunners and Aunders house. They had a blast. I got to watch a scary movie, RedDragon! I had planned on taking a nap, but, after that, it didn't happen.
I spent most of yesterday trying to blowup that silly mnt. for the girls. It is incrediable how long this thing takes! It still is only half way. So, that is a project for today. Along with all of the usual millions of other things!
Aizee has been one ball of fire! She yatters on non-stop! About everything and anything! She is doing well, despite a small fever. I have to keep an eye on it to see how far up it goes. Since her counts are low, she can get no tylenol. If it gets up to 100 or so, that means a trip to the hospital. I am trying to keep her more or less 'calm and still' today. But that is a chore in and of itself!
Brianna has gotten excellent with her numbers and letters. She can even read a word or two. She is also speaking a bit of spanish quite easily.
Dolores and the baby are doing well. Her incision opened up, but it is healing fine. Rob is still working with the people in RI, so, the job is his, just need to work out the housing thing and then we are all set!
Remy is a mover and a shaker! And, she has the BIGGEST temper! It is funny! She is almost a year, amazing how fast time flies! She likes to tease with daddy, but always yells for me! Aizee has turned into a daddys buddy! "Where's daddy? I want my daddy!" ETC. If she gets mad at me, it is yellilng for daddy time. And she gets him up first thing in the morning, the second she is up. It is cute. Brianna, well, she has reached the age of ultimate attitude. I feel like I am dealing with a very short teenager. That gets old fast!
So, all in all, despite Aizees little fever and being able to go outside, we are doing great!
Thanks for stopping by. If you want, you are always welcome to sign the guest book. Our hugs and love from us to all of you out there. Havew a yippee day!

Friday, May 2, 2003 4:56 PM CDT

New photos! YAY! Finally figured how to resize them all on my own.
Well, it has stayed icky here, so outside time is limited. But, they have been really giving the inflatable monkey bars quite the work out. Mnt Everest blew up. So, my mom ordered a replacement. That is still in the box. The air-pump freaks out Remy. So, one day, the Mountain shall come back!
Well, the story about the move is, if all the details come together, we may be moving to Rhode Island. There is one more factor to work out. Then it is off to the seashore! This should be quite the adventure.
We already have the referals for Aizees new docs worked out, hospitals etc. The insurance will work as well. So, just some loose ends to be tied up.=) I am excited, and scared, all at once.
Other than Aizee having a little fever, nothing exciting going on here.
Hope all is well with you and yours. Our Love and hugs to everyone out there! Sign the guest-book please! Thanks. Have a yippee day!

Wednesday, April 30, 2003 2:45 PM CDT

Well, one day there shall be new pictures. Just not today. Well, Rob was off yesterday, so we just goofed off for most of the day. It was a gray day. We kept hoping the clouds would go away. No such luck. We went to see Dolores and the kids. We had promised to get Maria Theresa (Tete) out of the house for a bit. We took all of the kids to Trailside park. We all had a blast. Rob had never been there before, so it was a lot of fun for the girls to have him there to run around with. Then, the big black clouds that had been hovering near by decided to suddenly come forth! The wind, which had just been mild, turned cold and upped the blowing a few notches. We took that as our que to go. At least we got to play for a good hour. Took Tete home and we came home too. It never rained.
Today is a daddy home day too. The girls love it. The storm that has been hanging out around here for a week or so finally decided to do somthing. Not a lot of anything, except knock the power out for an hour or so. That was okay. The girls had fun playing chase with daddy. Aizee is so funny. She goes 'you can't catch me' and goes right up to him when she says it, then squeals when he swoops her up. He also trimmed Briannas hair. She was being a stinker about letting anyone brush it, so he said he may as well cut it all off. She thought that would be funny. He only took off like 2cm. if that. Then of course Aizee wanted a cut too. Geesh, just grew back her hair. So, he did the pretend trim. She seemed so proud. Kids, go figure. Remy was sleeping during all that, otherwise, who knows, have to give her a pretend trim too?
Well, other than it still being cloudy and windy and icky out, nothing too exciting going on!
Hope all is well with you and yours. Our hugs and love to you all. Have a yippee day!

Monday, April 28, 2003 1:03 PM CDT

Well, it always takes a few days for the side-effects of Vincristine to set in. Today Aizee is very whiney. You look at her wrong and she gets upset. Plus a little fever. She keeps holding her head. That is one of the main side effects. Sever jaw and bone pain. So go figure why she's cranky. However, she won't just relax. Being a kid, she just feels compelled to be active, despite how she feels. I guess that is good, last time she mellowed out, we ended up in the hospital for a week.
The day of her Lumbar puncture was the last sunny day we've had. It was a perfect day to go to the park, but we couldn't. So, now everyday since has been cloudy, windy and cold. I did take them to the Trailside park for a little while yesterday. Then the wind was just too much. Of course they did not want to leave. I really did not want to either, but I have to always be so careful of Aizee. Her counts had dropped to 900. Being in wind too long, plus around dirt is the perfect recipe for getting her sick. Brianna is such a trooper about it all. She isn't happy about it, but she accepts that for right now, it is how it has to be. Aizee gets really frustrated too. I just have to keep reminding myself it is only one more year. If she makes it to May 2004 without a relapse, then, the rest should be clear sailing. We've made it this far. I will do whatever it takes to keep her with us and this family together.
Well, we will know 100% for sure about the move on Wednsday. So, we shall see. Hopefully big changes for the better are in store for us.
Remy is getting more teeth. She is the fiestiest one yet by far! Aisalynn just chatters up a storm everyday. Brianna now thinks she is the ruler of the universe. Makes for some intersting arguments. BUT, it is all fun and worth everything!
I hope to get new pictures up someday.
Please sign th guestbook. Glad to hear you guys had a fun trip, and sorry about your camera!
Our hugs and love from us to you and yours out there.
Have a yippee day!

Friday, April 25, 2003 12:26 AM CDT

Well, SORRY! No new pictures yet. I have this little disk here and some great shots. But, they are too large to download here. When I try to resize them, there is a sorta block on the disk apparently. Well, all is not lost. I just have to get my dad to figure something out for me. He likes doing this sort of thing anyway. Or, I will just have to wait until the other photographers photos are finnished. And/or, I will just try to creat a new photo album and put that link here. We'll see. I am a little bummed about this.
Aizees Lumbar puncture went well. She is what they call
"a good dripper" like poking a tree for sap. Ick. She gets so goofy on the drugs they twilight her on. Verset and ketamine. It is a little unnerving to see your child like that. On pcp basically. I am always afraid she won't come out of it.
She was one ball of fire after though. Man. They always tell me to keep her still and have her rest blah blah blah. Well, I try, but she just won't go for it. So, we try to limit her busy bee likeness =)
The other night, she pulled out her Ng. She inadvertantly pulled it out by climbing around. I had to put in another one. I hate this so much, you have no idea. She went and hid behind the big screen t.v.. My baby hid from me. I was devestated. But, I had to do it. So I did, then, later, she managed to pull that one out too. So I am like FORGET IT!
So, I had to do it last night. She finally just gave up. I was in tears all the rest of the night. I feel so horriable. Yes, I know she needs it. I just wish she would eat. Rob and I are exhausted trying to figure out everyday, something she might eat. Trouble is, she is 2. And a regular 2 year old just doesn't eat sometimes. If she was healthy, it would not be an issue. But she needs as much sustanance as possiable. Once the tube is in, it is okay, just the invasion part sucks.She did eat some Cheerios this morning.
We are hoping to make it to the park. Just waiting for the kangaroo pump to finnish pumping the pediasure in. And the clouds to more or less clear out!
Aizees new sentence is "where arnol?" she has a little Hey Arnold toy and likes hiding it.
Remy is teething BIG time and Brianna is being silly as usual. Dolores and the baby are doing fine. And my friend Summer is due in June. Remy will be one year then! Wow.
Happy b-day to Alexandria Radinger. My, how the years fly!
Well, our love and hugs from us to all of you.
SIGN THE GUESTBOOK, please. Thanks. Have a yippee day!

Wednesday, April 23, 2003 12:02 AM CDT

Hello. WELL, new pictures will be up tommorow night. I just have to go snag the disk from my dad. It has all three little women as the little flower girls! Maybe I can find one of Rob on there too. All decked out in his flashy red chef jacket and such!
Well, Delores had an emergency c-section the other night. Everything went fine. The baby is 6lbs and 8oz. It is SO tiny, I am just really in awe that my babies were a whole pound lighter! Eduardo jr. And this little guy looks just like his daddy! I am offereing Lola (Deloras nickname) all my help, if she needs it!
Well, the farm was great. It had a rocky moment there, but it got taken care of. Brianna had fun with Franchesca, and Constantina. Remy had another baby to play with, but she really enjoyed being passed around. She found a buddy in Emily! Aizee had a blast trying to carry as many red aggs as possiable. Then when cousins Jimmy and Steve showed her how to break them, she REALLY went nuts. It was a beautiful day. No asparagus though. It was all wilted.
I had a nice talk with Linda. And I told Rob to go ahead and booze it up! Good eats as usual. I really admire Susan and her abilities!
There was a little blow-up bunny ring toss, and that is all Aizee babbled about on the way home!
Well, I had to NG her on Monday. ICK! She is talking SO much! Her new word of the day is APPLESAUCE. She won't eat it, just likes that word I guess.
Yesterday, it rained all day. Even got some hail. Today is a bit chilly. Aizee has an 8a.m. lumbar puncture for tommorow. So, I am just going to make everyone stay inside for most of the day. I do that so, she has less chance of catching a new cold, and to try and make her reserve some of her energy! I hope the weather is nice after tommorow. So, when she recovers and all that, then we can start going to the park again. I am just so happy we have been able to get out and play this year. I still wonder how we made it, having to be holed up all day almost everyday almost the entire summer last year. I would love to add a whole bunch of positive stuff here, but I fear the jinx! So, I hope everyone out there is doing great. Our hugs and love from us to you. SIGN the guest book please. Have a yippee day!

Sunday, April 20, 2003 11:12 AM CDT

Hope new pictures soon! I need to go to my folks and use my dads scanneer for the great one with the Easter Bunny, and the little Women as flower girls! Maybe it will happen in lets say a year or so?=b
Well, so much to tell, so I will just start and hope it all makes sense.
The wdding was great. I didn't get to sit through all of it because Remy was mad, hated sitting still, in a fluffy dress no less! And Aizee was really wanting to be everywhere! Looked like a run away bride. She really wanted to pick up all of the flower petals. And stack up all of the hyme books. Anything and everything seemed to be fair game to her! So, I ended taking those two down to the nursery so they could play. Brianna was such a little lady, sitting with my mom the whole time. There where 4 flower girls total. The other 2 being daughters of my brothers good friend Brett. Maryia was beautiful. She kept tripping in her dress on the way down the aisle. She had a good humore about it though. She laughed about it.
My brother looked so mature. Shocked me. I found out he shocked a lot of people with this. A good shock. So, after the wedding, I rounded up the little women and we went to the other church for the reception. Rob had been there the whole time doing the food as a favor to my mom. That's what he gets for being so great at his job, and such a nice guy. The reception was nice. Great food, the girls had a blast tearing around and playing with Hope and Bailey. I told my brother his weeding present from me and Rob was the dinner and that I dressed normal and didn't dye my hair!=) I made sure all tattoos and piercings where coverd, no leather dress, or boots. I was SO conservative, I didn't even recognize myself!
So, beautiful wedding, fun reception with good eats. About towards the end of the party, Aizee seemed to get tired, so we decided to leave. We got home and she was really hot. 101.1 degrees.
Side note here: The pharmacey had dropped off the I.V. stuff and all the port-a-cath stuff on Friday. Kate came and gave me a refresher course. A port is just like a broviack, with two main differences. When you are done with a prt, you flush with 100 heperin vs. the 10, and pull out the needle and tubing. Also, it is trickier to keep steady and in place. Where the broviack, you have to flush everyday whether you use it or not, and it stays there since the tube is all the way to the heart. Also, it isn't so positional, and if it pulls, you are in trouble. Both have about the same chance of infection. One day I will try to download the diagrams to give you a better visual.
So, after taking her temp, I waited to hook her up and called the hospital. Trip to the E.R.. So, we repack the kids in the car, in p.j.'s this time and off we go. And lo and behold, guess which nurse we got? The one who missed her port that time in February. The one I practiced great restraint and did not rheam or throttle. I immediately told him she was accessed. He remembered us all right and was VERY happy to hear that he would not have to do anything like that, and we were too.
So, then, when he tried to do a blood and flush, the port would not work. So, Rob is entertaining to other two, and I am trying to help him figure out what was going on. Aizee ignored us and stayed focused on " The Beauty and the Beast" yay Disney. So, he adjusted the needle and it worked. So, blood draw happened. She still had a fever, but the rest of her vitals were okay. So, when the cultures went off to the lab, our happy doc came in to do his exam. She had a chest x-ray that came back fine. Well, everything is fine, but an ear infection. The left one. I now really have seriouse doubts about the Heber hospital. See, when I took Remy in, and she had an infection in her left ear, I grilled the doc there for info. He assured me that no way was Remy contagiouse to her sister. No worries, blah blah. The cold wouldn't spread. Ya right. So, now they have identical colds.And ear infections. Yippee.
But on a good note, her counts are good. Her white count is a little high, but we will get that taken care of when she is over this and they figure things out on Thurseday. When she gets her LP.
We had to stay there for her to get her meds. This machine beeped a lot too.
Brianna was an overly tired nut the whole time and Remy just wanted out and about. Funny, of course they both fell asleep about 10 minutes before we could leave. Aizee had the handle of our 20 lb back pack in her little paw, trying to drag it to the door.
So, other than me having to drive through the pod people town that always makes me nervouse, the rest of the night-morning went fine. Home to bed, and now here to tell you all about it.
Today we are going to The Farm for Robs big family event. It is always a lot of fun there and the girls really have fun. We double checked with the doctor last night to make sure we could go. He said it should be no problem. So, off we go. We are going to visit Dolores first. She is due any day. But Eduardo jr. is Breech just like Tete' so, she is in the hospital as a precaution. So, we will visit her first, and see if Tete' wants to go with us.
I will tell everyone about today another day.
We wish everyone out there a wonderful Easter. Eat lots of eggs. Yummy. And candy. Hope the Easter Bunny was good to you all! Our hugs and kisses and love from us to all of you! Sign the guest book! Please. Tell us stories, jokes, whatever. Even just a hello. No need to be clever ( Summer!) Write some more later!

Friday, April 18, 2003 2:25 AM CDT

Still no pictures yet. I would really like to get new ones up too.
So, today was different than planned. The plan had been my mom taking us girls out. My kids, to get fancey little shoes for their flower girl dresses, and me something to wear and to visit the Easter Bunny. Well, that did happen, but after I had to take Aizee into the clinic on emergency.
No NG last night, and urping up constantly, dehydration was a seriouse concern. Plus a fever. So,we were advised to go in. The great thing is her counts are good! YAY. And the stomache thing just is probably some little virus that will go away in a day or two. We had to stay there while she got fluids. The one annoying thing about her port-a-cath is it is positional. Everytime she raises her left arm, be it to put her hand behind her head, or whatever, it occludes the I.V. line. The constant beeping of the machine gets a little annoying. Plus, it makes the whole event last that much longer. But Aizee is doing great. Ears, mouth, counts, all good. So, just wait it out for a few days, and then, the bad thing, re-inserting the NG. But it has to be done.
She is accessed right now, for home care was supposed to drop off I.V. Stuff and Kate, our nurse was supposed to show me yet a new trick, but for some reason it did not happen. And no one could answer my inqueries when I called. Doc Vership told me that it was safe that she is accessed even though she is not connected to anything. Makes me nervouse though. I'd rather her not have needles into her chest with tubing and all that. I'd rather not have any of this going on. Period.
After the clinic, I was able to hook-up with my parents who had Brianna with them. We went to the mall, where I found something to wear. I took Brianna with me, while my folks sat with the other two since they were asleep. That was fun. She is a funny kid. An on going source of entertainment! Then, everyone was awake after, so I wanted all 3 of them to see the Easter Bunny. I am hoping that I can down load that picture here, after I get my dad to scan it for me. It is so cute. Brianna on one side smiling, Remy in the rabbits arms screaming, and Aizee is gic=ving it such a look while almost taking off. The memories this picture will bring.
It is snowing right now. Just last week the girls were outside all day almost everyday. Well, our hugs and kisses from us to you and yours. Please, sign the guest book if just to say hi and whatever else, or nothing else. Stories of your own, or a funny joke! ( I steal them and tell them to others!)
Have a Yippee day!

Thursday, April 17, 2003 0:33 AM CDT

No new pictures yet. Sorry. Remy woke-up on Monday with a little sniffle, which rapidly progressed into a full blown fever, yuckiness. I took her to the doctor, another ear-infection. ON top of that, it snowed that day. The girls were really stir-crazy having to stay inside after almost a week at the park. Now today, Aizee has upped her NG, and keeps urping up. Which isn't anything considering she doesn't eat. She has a cold now too. It does me no good to try and put in a new NG if she is just going to urp it up, but trying to prevent dehydration is another factor here. Boy, the games never end around here.
If everyone seem sto be okay tommorow, my mom wants to take us shopping to complete the girls flower-girl attire. She wants to buy me a dress to wear. Oh goody. She wants to get me one I will wear again. Well, I told her, the type I would pick would not be appropriate to wear to a wedding. At least my hair is not green anymore, and I will hold off changing the color until after.
Brianna is SO excited about 2 things. Nuni and Grandaddy coming to visit and being a flower girl. She is such a fun kid! Easy to tease! Aizee, well has been a bit quiet lately. Fingers crossed that it is nothing. Remy was a little ball of fire tonight. Good thing medication works fast on her!
Rob and I are doing great. Hope all of you are too.
Thanks for signing the guest-book! Thanks Craig for the joke! I have told lots of people if they hadn't read it here first! Our love from us to all of you out there! Have a Yippee day!

Tuesday, April 15, 2003 3:28 AM CDT

Well, no new pictures yet. My apolologies.
Aizees teeth are great but for one little thing of her grinding them. That is due to pain. That will question of mine will be asked her next appointment.
Here is a litle mission requested of you, if you have the time...
go to http://www.childhoodcancerawareness.org/stamp.asp
If that does not work, ask me and I will e-mail you the full topic. It is about people telling the US postmaster tyhat YES! Please tell the world that little kids and even babies do get cancer! Etc. etc. etc. And I do believe, some proceeds go to cancer research.
anyhoo, I really have nothing else to type right now, except that it is wonderful that Aisalynns teeth are okay. One less ordeal for her. And that it is REALLY windy out.
We hope all of you are great. Love and hugs to you from us. Please, sign the guestbook. Thank-you.

Saturday, April 12, 2003 9:36 PM CDT

Hello. It was SO windy outside today, so no park. The girls seemed just find with it. In fact, Aisalynn seemed very tired and chilled out all day. Brianna played computer games. Then they got into a big dress-up game. It was fun. Remy had fun helping me do a little spring cleaning.
We went and got the girls new tennis shoes last night. Even Remy! She didn't know quite what to think about wearing shoes on her tiny feet! Brianna wanted pink princess shoes, and Aisalynn picked out Pooh Bear. What an adventure! I can wait for them to be teen-agers, and so can Rob!
Sorry that I forgot to bring film along to be developed. I am a little bummed myself, for I am excited to put new pictures on here! And, in an album like Wallys!
Well, that's all that is going on here. Hugs and love from us to you. Please sign the guestbook for the nosy, needing somthing to read houswife=me =)
Have a yippee day!

Wednesday, April 9, 2003 3:52 PM CDT

Well, no dentist yet! Insurance can be a great thing, but it can be tricky! The dentist we were going to see takes our dental ins, but not that exact plan. So, we had to scramble around until we found one that took all the exact details. Fun fun! So, her new appointment is for next Monday.
She has been eating a little more here and there. What I can't figure out is, she will be eating, something like a chicken strip, halfway through eating it, she will just start chewing it up and spitting it out. So, I have added jaw pain for my list of questions for her docs on the 24th. Vincristine is very mean stuff. And it can cause a lot of pain. Other than the not eating part, she has been doing excellent. Loads of energy and her impy humore is in top notch condition.
We were at our friends house the other day. Tete has a lot of dolls. It was so cute to watch Aizee. She would hug them and rock them while singing. Tuck them into bed, then put her finger to her lips saying "shhh, the babies seeping" The typo was on purpose. Aizee has her own language and it is fun trying to figure it out! But man does she have a TEMPER! Just try to enforce some little rule, or be a parent! She gives you, well, you know what kids do best!=}
I took the girls to Trailside park today. It was great. They had a lot of fun. The weather has finally warmed up and stayed that way for at least 2 days now! There were a ton of other kids there too! It was a little sad, though. Aizee used to have so much confidence on the structures. Now, if she does go up the stairs, she just seems so afraid to do anything else but just stand there and then want back down. Or she will crawl from one side to the other. I am right there for her and never force her to do anything. It is just another reminder of how much she's gone through. But she's gotten through almost all of it, so regaining confidence on a playground will be a piece of cake!
Remy has finally gotten her first teeth! Ohboy! Fun for her, painful for me! She is doing great. No more strep, ears are great and can she scoot fast! She is even cruising furniture now! Into everything, and her favorite pasttime is getting into the middle of anything her sisters are doing!
Brianna is such a little lady! And pretending to be a teenager already! Attitude wise! She is so excited for my brothers wedding! Can't wait to wear her flower-girl dress and throw petals! Aizee looked like a run-away pixie when she tried hers on, I was trying to get it back off, while she was running away; untied sash and unbuttoned! Remy could not stand her dress! She was like GET THIS THING OFFA ME! Yanking at the frilly collar crap in front!
Poor Brianna, she says she's getting bald! Remy loves her hair, and it is hard for Brianna to snuggle with her little sister without losing a few tufts!
Other than that, Rob is doing great. Me too. I promise to try and get our recent rolls of film developed so I can change the photos for all of you!
Please sign the guest book because, well, we are nosy and like to know who visits us! And like what Wally figured out, I like to have things to read!
I hope all of you out there are doing great! Hugs and kisses to you and yours from us! Have a yippee day!

Friday, April 4, 2003 8:08 PM CST

Well, let's see. Monday is Aizees dentist appointment. This should be interesting. She won't open her mouth for any one, so, good luck to the doc in checking her teeth. But it has to be done, hopefully they have some tricks up their sleeves to get a kid to open up!
They have a birthday party to go to tommorow. That will be fum. My brother is getting married the 19th of this month. My mom thought it would be fun for the girls to be flower girls. Brianna is SO ecxcited. I am sure that Aizee will just have a blast. Flinging things everywhere is one of her greatest talents (out of many) and this is something she can do with wild abandone!=)
Aizee had a blast tonight, mashed potatoe art all over the table! And herself, and whatever else she could get her paws on!
Later, right before bath, she went up to Rob and indicated she was all wet. She loves to play with whatever happens to be in her sippy-cup. Well, as I went about cleaning her up, the smell hit me. The cap at the end of her NG tube had opened. I won't get graphic, but the way Rob shot off the couch when he heard me say that, was classic. He had been holding her while I fetched some towels and stuff. I was already getting things ready for the tub, this just sped it up a bit!
Everything is going fine around here. I put in Aizees Disneyland wish. I guess we'll see what happens with that. Hope all is great with you and yours. Please entertain me by writting something, and quench my nosiness!=]

Tuesday, April 1, 2003 9:18 PM CST

WOW! Was it ever windy here today! It cancelled out our plans for the family to go play at the park! So, we all just hung out here today and had a pretty uneventful day!
I had to put in Aizees NG last night. It came up a few days ago and I waited to see what her appettite would do. Also, it is getting harder to do. But though she is eating here and there, it just isn't enough for her to stay healthy. I am thinking that her teeth might be bothering her. The chemo meds can cause tooth problems. So, I am going to go through all of the details that are required for her to see a dentist. I have to find one that not only will see a cancer child, but will also accept our ins. Then, she has to have a check-up. Then, the 'findings' are sent to the clinic. If there are any problems found, she will be started on antibiotics and a regime of count checks while she under goes dental work. If it is her teeth and it gets her eating again, I'm willing to do whatever it takes! She needs a check-up anyway!
Remy is getting big! She is the fiestiest one yet! Brianna and her antics and imagination are a source of entertainment! Aizee is still her impy self! I discoverd that if I give her her 6mps at night, she is pretty nuts! So, early morning or noon seem to be the best time for that!
We went to a baby shower yesterday. Rob got to hang out with the hubby of the hostesst. One of the other ladies had her daughter there so the girls made a new friend. It was fun.
All 3 girls are growing up too fast! It never gets dull around here, that's for sure! They especialy love it the days Rob is home! I tease and say I have 4 kids!=]
Happy birthday to Zach, Wally and Mary!
Hope all is wonderful with everyone! Lots of hugs and love from us to you! Please sign the guest book for I not only do I like things to read, I am nosy and like to know who visits! Have a yippee day!

Saturday, March 29, 2003 2:51 PM CST

It is freezing here! But it is sunny out. After taking Rob to work, I thought why not go to Park City park? Ya, right! The wind chills one to the bones! Good thing that Remy has her cover on her car seat still, so I had her bundled in there! As I was trying to convince the girls we should be leaving before frost-bite took over =] another mom with two girls, Brianna and Aizees ages, showed up. So, I relented and let them play. It was fun for them! Remy was mad having to stay in her car seat, but she is running loose now! Aizee pulled out her N.G. yesterday, but since she ate some dinner, 2 chicken tenders and 1 fry! yay! I decided not to reinsert it. But she isn't eating today, so I may end up having to do that HATED thing tonight! If only she'd eat! She won't even eat cheet-os now, not even ketchup. Though, she has found another use for her 'chup'! It makes a great art tool! The pictures she makes on the table! I need the emoticons here! ANyway, I finally inflated Mnt. Everest. So, now they can bounce all over the room. From Monkey bars to the Mountain, to the mattress placed on the left over floor space for safety. It gets quite busy around here! Remy even got to play a little on whichever one didn't have a rambunctios (sp?) big sister on!
Nuni and Granddaddy will be here for a visit at the end of May! Everyday Brianna asks if it's May yet! They are excited. Uncle Brent will be in town for a visit. He's bringing his girlfriend. Have to admitt, I am curiouse.
Well, that's enough babble for now! Hope everything is great with all of you! And that it stays that way! Like Wally figured out, I like things to read, so get to it! =b

Thursday, March 27, 2003 9:18 PM CST

Aisalynn's counts are excellant. Yay! They didn't adjust her medications in anyway. For now, everyhting seems to going right on track! She ate some bread and a couple of noodles. So she has to keep her N.G. for now. She did gain a little over a pound in 3 weeks! Pretty spiffy! She had two doses of dex, half a 6mp. 2 methetrexate, and vincrinstine. But she is still going strong.
It was a cold and blustery day here today. My dad drove us to the hospital. On the way home, he picked up the rest of the film that he got developed for me. The pictures in there are so adorable. Some are shocking. They are when Aizee first started chemo. And was on heavy doses of dex. She looks like an oversized cabbage patch baby! But still adorable! There are also some of her before diagnoses.
She and Brianna are really enjoying their inflateable monkey bars. It takes forever to get them to come upstairs for dinner! Remy is still a little too little, but she loves watching her sisters play! She seems to be feeling better! Well, that's all that I can think of to write right now. I hope all is great with you and yours. Thanks for visiting. And please give me something to read by signing the guest book! Thanks!

Wednesday, March 26, 2003 10:56 PM CST

Well, it was a nice day yesterday. We got to play outside a bit. Now it is a full blown blizzard. This time of year is so unpredictable. On top of that, Aizee goes to clinic in the morning. And Remy was just diagnosed with strep. The other 2 are fine. So, Rob is staying home with Remy since she can not go into the clinic being sick. So, Brianna is staying home too. Works out a little easier for me that way. I can concentrate just on Aizee. She still gets a bit upset when they go to access her port, thanks to one $#@&!!!ER Nurse. But the Onc. Nurses are very compitent, and fast. Julie the toy lady, child life person, is a God send! She is wonderful at making sure everyone is taken care of.
She is getting a cbc, if it is good, they may be able to increase her medication. Only vincristine there and methetrexate, 6mps and dexat home. I do not know how Rem got sick, but fingers crossed that it is only her and that it goes away fast! My mom and dad bought them some blow-up climbing structures. The girls are having a blast on the inflateable monkey bars! I decided to wait for a bit before inflating the Mt. everest climbing wall. I'll wait until the Monkey bars lose thier novelty! Hope everyone is doing great! Other than Remy being sick and the weather, we are just ducky! Remember to give me something to read and sign the guest-book, if only to say hi! Thanks.

Sunday, March 23, 2003 10:03 PM CST

HI! Well, yesterday we got to play outside for a bit. She likes to mimic Brianna, we play chase, and she likes to chant " You can't catch me! You can't catch me! " then, she stops right in front of me and wants me to twirl her around. Then, it is " again! Again! " =] She has found a huge rock in our yard that she likes to sit on. She is also into finding anything odd on the ground that I'd rather her not pick up!
We went to my parents house for the afternoon. After I got Remy down for nap, Aizee and I played so Brianna could go into the hot tub with my mom. Aizee can not go in. There are types of Strep that lurk in hot tubs that, to a regular healthy person, really can't hurt. To someone like Aizee, it could be very serious. She is into Riky Tiky Tavi. And Peter Cottontail. Good thing Rob and I have the mental ability to tolerate the same movie over and over! She likes to play with all the odd little things at my moms. Like brass tea sets, little shakers, the fun, just the right size knick-knacks! Also, the gumball machine!
My dad was teasing Brianna and Aiszee said 'No hurt MY NANA!" and gave my dad a whack on his behind! WOW! Protective! It wasn't a hard one, but it was funny! The kids don't get spanked, so it is odd that she knew to do that to get a point across!
She ate some chips at my folks and some milk. Then, when we got home, she ate a mini Red Baron Pepperoni pizza! Yay! And some go-gurt! I will take any tiny morsel that I can get into her! Oh ya, Remy is HER baby! And she is really into brushing her teeth. She needs a dixie cup too, at every brushing. Thanks to Nuni! She had given us the ones she had left from her last visit. I let the girls have them, so now we need to have a constant supply. NOw we have a dixie cup Pooh holder.
Well, that's all for now. And yes Wally, I do like things to read! Thanks=]! Sign the guest book anytime!
Thank-you all for coming here, and we hope all is great with you and yours!

Friday, March 21, 2003 1:29 PM CST

Good afternoon! Well, yesterday, it was nice out so we played outside. The girls found a neat puddle to splash in! Lots of chalk art too. Aizee fell asleep right after her bath, so there was no fighting her to hook her up to her kangaroo pump. Then, I got 4 cans in her! Yay! It was kinda funny: The pump finnished before she woke-up, finally got her capacity back up to between 60-80, So, she was really confussed when she got up. She wasn't hooked up to anything and it seemed to distress her! I am hopeing that she isn't going to become emotionally dependant on all of this equipment!
So, took daddy to work. Rob had ordered them some mini brooms from a Sysco frined and they were there! Boy, they thought that was fun! We took a walk down our little country lane, me, the girls and some brooms! The road is nice and swept clean now =]! The deck is now covered with chalk art! Remy has discovered p.b&j sandwiches, and Brianna is the announcer of everything!
So, Aizees next LP is in April. Just Vinc On 3-24. Her cath is just fine. Just shifted. I guess they move around. It would be nice if I am warned of these things before something odd like that happens!
I hope all of you are doing great! Please sign the guest book any time, as many times as you want! I will try to get different pictures in soon! Have a fun day!

Wednesday, March 19, 2003 6:21 PM CST

YAY! Aizees counts have stayed stable. So, if everything is the same at our next clinic, they can increase her medication. She is at 75% now. So, hopefully at 100% she will be strong enough to stay there! She is very active lately. We enjoyed going outside today! The only thing is that she won't eat. I am getting very creative with food offers. So far, no go. Brianna is enjoying the mixes though=)! So, other than counts staying the same, and no appettite, things are just ducky. We hope everyone out there is doing well! Hugs to all. Please let us know when you visit here! Happy belated birthday to Aunt Ruth! Hope it was beautiful!

Tuesday, March 18, 2003 9:31 PM CST

Well, on Sat, Aizee threw-up her N.G.. Tried to get that 4th can of Pediasure in. No go! A doc told me to leave it out and see if her appetite returns. No such luck. So, last night, I had to 'tube' her again. I HATE THAT!
Got 3 cans in. She woke-up in a good mood. Her port may be dislodged. Kate is coming to do a blood draw, so we will find out then! If it is, I think I will just have it removed and go with a hand I.V. ( Butterfly pokes I think they call them) That way the stress about the cathaders will be totally gone. However, that isn't final yet!
She just won't eat. I think her counts are down just because of how she is acting. I hope to be wrong! What is that old saying? "As soon as I learn all of the answers, they go and change all of the questions"? It seems that everytime I think I get a handle on this, it changes. I never have a clue. Well, it never gets boring! And she has NEVER followed the norm in all of this, she is our (Rob and I)kid after all! And we certainly never followed anyone elses tune! =)
Everything just has to work out in the end! It is not a choice!
I hope all of you are doing great! Hugs to everyone!
Please sign the guest book! Tell us anything!
Love from us to you!!!!!!!

Friday, March 14, 2003 9:15 PM CST

Here is a funny story. I went 'downstairs' (Like five steps down into the weird alcove behind the kitchen) and was doing a little laundry. I hear Aizee yelling. Something Oh-no kitty and baby. A whole lot or ruckus. I go tearing up there and see Remy. She's fine. Then I notice the bowl of dry cat food is gone. And it isn't on the counter either. (I put it up when Taz is not eating) Then I notice the trail of food. I follow the trail through the house and find Aizee. She had moved the food from Remy, but since she couldn't reach the counter, she took off with it. Then she had hidden it. So, I am following trails of cat food trying to find the bowl. Aizee is telling me "Oh-no! Mess!" and helps me pick it all up. I kept asking her were she had hid it and she just laughed at me. Finally, the dish is found, the food picked-up. And Aizee is praised for being such a valient big sister and keeping Remy out of the cat food! Little Imp Of Action!
Brianna wants to change her hair color to the color of Blosoms, the PowerPuffGirl. Maybe I can find some colored hair spray that can wash right out at bath time!
Aizee seems to be doing fine today. Ate some chips. Ate some rice. A bite of salami. Lots of milk! So, that's it for today. I hope all of you are doing well! Feel free to sign our guest book anytime you visit! Have a wonderful day!

Thursday, March 13, 2003 6:00 PM CST

Hello, and welcome to Aizees page! Well, let's see, her counts have dropped again. However, she did get to play outside a lot yesterday. Rode her bike a little, ran around the fields and our yard. Took a walk down the little country lane which we live on. Today, it is too windy out.
One of our nurses told me that the up and down of counts will continue to happen until they find the right dosing schedual of her medications. They want to keep her ANC between 1000-2000. Right now it is at 950. So, we are getting closer! She is starting to eat a little more on her own. She hates marshmellows. For her, they just make a handy art device=}. Along with anything else she can get her little impy hands on!
Brianna can spell her name and type it. We are now working on writting it. SHe is getting excellent with her numbers! Remy is just tooling around and learning all the silly girl stuff from her sisters. She is starting to get her first teeth! So, other than Aizees drop in counts, all is going pretty ducky around here! Please sign our guest book any time! Thanks. Hope all of you are doing well! Hugs to everyone!

Tuesday, March 11, 2003 5:33 PM CST

Well, today was a warm day and the girls got to go outside and play! Aisalynn's counts seem to be holding, so why not take advantage of her health and nice weather right! She ran around and playing chase! She is in that 'broken record' stage of speech. Funny! She ate some chips and a cookie!

Monday, March 10, 2003 10:32 PM CST

Howdy family and friends! Great news!!! Aizees counts are WAY up. So now she is at 75%. They are going to check counts again on Thurseday, just to make sure they don't take another nose dive. She ate a bite of a granola bar today. And some Parm. Cheese. Lots of chocolate milk. We take whatever we can get! She is talking up a storm now! And what a little IMP! Her little stinker ways sure keep us hopping. She loves to aggrivate her big sister. Makes her laugh. ANd she loves getting Brianna's attention one way or another.
They were at my folks house yesterday. They love tearing around the place. The day always goes well until bye-bye time. Then they just go into hyper drive. Remy hates her carseat, Aisalynn is into something or other and Brianna decides why should she be the only one to listen? And they decided they didn't want to go to sleep easily either! Well, kate got here at 7:30 this morning. Had some really bleary eyes! Rob was off today, so that is always a treat for them. He just eats up all the fan fare! It is fun for all of us. Well, nothing else to add today. Hope all of you are well and things are going good too. My happy thoughts are with you and yours.

Sunday, March 9, 2003. 11:43pm. mnt time

Well, this is my first ever web page. I created it for myself to tell about Aisalynn and her family.
Aizee is one tough little 2 year-old. Once I know how to add pictures, you can see what a beautiful little girl she is! She is oh so very fiesty. And very mischeviouse. What an Imp. She is one force of nature to be reckoned with!
Right now, she is only on 50% strength of her medications. They keep getting stopped and re-started due to low counts. Kate, her home nurse, is due to come by tommorow to check them again. If they are up, then we go to 75%. If down too low, they stay the same or stop again, depending. You'd never tell that Aizee isn't up to par. One ball of fire, she is. Right now she is still getting most of her nuetrition through her N.G.(nasal gastromic) tube. She is off of the oxygen! yay! Any victory is wonderful!
She is my graffitti artist! Loves to color on whatever there is be it paper or wall. With anything, be it pen or lipstick! She got to play outside a little bit at Park City Park on Friday. There wasn't anyone else there, so it was perfect germ wise. Sad socially. But that is how we have to do it for now! And yesterday, they played on our huge deck since the yard is a goopy mess! We have set up another playroom, with bouncy items added. As long as her platelettes are high, why not let the energy be jumped away?
Brianna is doing great. We are looking into charitable programs that have room for a 4 yearold who needs some life to herself. Friends and the like. She is such a trooper through all of this. She has grown up more than she should have through all of this. Yet, she is still a child. Balancing all of this in her own way to make sense of it all as only she can, so far, she is doing a tremendouse job! She really watches out for her two little sisters. She is really into PowerPuffGirls. She is Blossom. She likes to 'kick bad guy butt!" she wishes she could "kick cancers butt too". I tell her that is too much to take on, even for a mighty PowerPuffGirl, or a strong big sister.
Remy is a busy 9 month old. Crawling here and there, everywhere! She sure knows how to holler and get along with her two big sisters. She loves to chase Aizee around and try to grab her 'lye'. That is what Aizee calls her pacifier. I have no idea where she got that name for it. But, as long as it helps the oral side effects of the chemo, she can call it whatever she wants too! It is funny, Remy gets too close to Aizee, Aizee squwaks, so I move Remy of her, but if Remy isn't where Aizee can see her, she cries "my baby! My baby!"
Rob is busy at work, Hugo had to quit due to illness. Rob misses him. And I miss the guy banter that they used to share, for him. It was nice for Rob to have a good Friend at work. I am busy keeping up with everything else. We live a unique life, and that is how it is.
Sorry if I rambled here, but this is my first time doing anything like this. Happy Birthday to Granddaddy. The Imp looks just like Nuni! I wonder if she was like this as a child?
Anyway, we love life, no matter how hard it gets. Everyday is a special gift, and we are thankful for it.

Sunday, March 9, 2003 11:47 PM CST

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