Journal entry by Catherine Dabrowski —
Family & Friends,
I am writing to you one last time. It has been particularly hard for me to start this journal entry, as you can tell by my absence over the past two months. I wanted to write it so many times. Fortunately for me, I am in counseling! And I can work through emotional barriers in therapy to move forward in my daily life. In time I have realized that I was struggling to write this post, because I didn't want caringbridge to go away.
Many of you have wondered out loud or to yourself how I am doing. And I am here to tell you that I am OK. I am actually so OK, that it's kind of annoying. You may ask yourself ' how can a young woman who just had her life ripped away from her come to work with a smile?' or ' how does this young lady who just lost the love of her life plan a party for her friends, or eat right or exercise or make time to do her makeup in the morning?'. Well the answer is you. All of you.
This last year has taught me more about life and love than I ever knew existed. You don't know what you don't know, I suppose.
So, here I am, at the start of a new journey. Thanks to all of you for making me believe I am strong and beautiful on the inside and out. When you hear it over and over you start to believe it. Kevin meant what he said 'don't wait until heaven to know you are uniquely loved'. And per usual, he is right. I am so loved it's beyond my comprehension. I have new keys to life. A life I didn't know was possible.
I initially intended on attaching the eulogies spoken at Kevin's services to this post, but caringbridge doesn't have a good option to do so. If you would be interested in reading them (they are ALL AMAZING) I would be happy to e-mail them to you. Please send me an e-mail.
A friend of Kevin's would like to share a special gift and send along a copy of 'Imagine Heaven' to anyone who would be interested in reading the book. Please message me your address if you'd like to receive a copy. If I have your address and you don't message me, you may be getting a special delivery whether you request it or not!
For anyone in the Charlottesville area- we will be having a UVA memorial for Kevin 10/10 in Charlottesville. Message me at the above cell for details. We planned this date fairly randomly, but once the date was set, I realized that 10/10/18 was the day Kevin was diagnosed with cancer. So I am excited to have people I love with me on what could have been a very sad day. I look forward to seeing you there.
Lastly, as mentioned above, caring bridge has been so cathartic for me and I can't imagine this process without an outlet. I have decided to start a blog. I haven't officially made it yet, but when I do I hope to see you there. I can't thank everyone enough for all the love. Please know, I am paying it forward. I really am.
I usually end on a quote. And tonight is no different. But tonight I want to end on a song. If you are able- I hope you will go listen to the whole song: 'A Little Bit of Everything' by Dawes.
The lyric I am hanging on to is: 'it's like trying to make out every word when they should simply hum along'.
So when you ask yourself 'I wonder how Catherine is doing?' or anyone you know who is grieving. You can imagine us hummingly along. The way forward isn't clear. But the beauty is, you don't need all those details. Just love and forward motion.
Thankfully and Gratefully,
Catherine
I am writing to you one last time. It has been particularly hard for me to start this journal entry, as you can tell by my absence over the past two months. I wanted to write it so many times. Fortunately for me, I am in counseling! And I can work through emotional barriers in therapy to move forward in my daily life. In time I have realized that I was struggling to write this post, because I didn't want caringbridge to go away.
Many of you have wondered out loud or to yourself how I am doing. And I am here to tell you that I am OK. I am actually so OK, that it's kind of annoying. You may ask yourself ' how can a young woman who just had her life ripped away from her come to work with a smile?' or ' how does this young lady who just lost the love of her life plan a party for her friends, or eat right or exercise or make time to do her makeup in the morning?'. Well the answer is you. All of you.
This last year has taught me more about life and love than I ever knew existed. You don't know what you don't know, I suppose.
So, here I am, at the start of a new journey. Thanks to all of you for making me believe I am strong and beautiful on the inside and out. When you hear it over and over you start to believe it. Kevin meant what he said 'don't wait until heaven to know you are uniquely loved'. And per usual, he is right. I am so loved it's beyond my comprehension. I have new keys to life. A life I didn't know was possible.
I initially intended on attaching the eulogies spoken at Kevin's services to this post, but caringbridge doesn't have a good option to do so. If you would be interested in reading them (they are ALL AMAZING) I would be happy to e-mail them to you. Please send me an e-mail.
A friend of Kevin's would like to share a special gift and send along a copy of 'Imagine Heaven' to anyone who would be interested in reading the book. Please message me your address if you'd like to receive a copy. If I have your address and you don't message me, you may be getting a special delivery whether you request it or not!
For anyone in the Charlottesville area- we will be having a UVA memorial for Kevin 10/10 in Charlottesville. Message me at the above cell for details. We planned this date fairly randomly, but once the date was set, I realized that 10/10/18 was the day Kevin was diagnosed with cancer. So I am excited to have people I love with me on what could have been a very sad day. I look forward to seeing you there.
Lastly, as mentioned above, caring bridge has been so cathartic for me and I can't imagine this process without an outlet. I have decided to start a blog. I haven't officially made it yet, but when I do I hope to see you there. I can't thank everyone enough for all the love. Please know, I am paying it forward. I really am.
I usually end on a quote. And tonight is no different. But tonight I want to end on a song. If you are able- I hope you will go listen to the whole song: 'A Little Bit of Everything' by Dawes.
The lyric I am hanging on to is: 'it's like trying to make out every word when they should simply hum along'.
So when you ask yourself 'I wonder how Catherine is doing?' or anyone you know who is grieving. You can imagine us hummingly along. The way forward isn't clear. But the beauty is, you don't need all those details. Just love and forward motion.
Thankfully and Gratefully,
Catherine
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