Hello again,

If any of you are Star Wars movie fans then you may have been aware that yesterday was "Star Wars Day." I don't know the complete history behind it but I'm sure it had something to do with a frequent phrase many of the characters in those movies say, "May the force be with you," hence, "May the fourth be with you..."  (:-D) For fun, a few years ago I purchased a retro looking t-shirt with the first Star Wars characters on the front to wear to school when I was teaching art at Grace Preparatory here in New Braunfels. I thought it would be fun to wear it again yesterday. Then last night Mike and I decided it would be also be fun to watch one of the older Star Wars movies since it seems that decent things to watch on TV are becoming fewer and far between. We watched The Empire Strikes Back. In this movie we meet Yoda, a little green character with long pointy ears who we later find out was a pretty formidable Jedi master when he was younger. On the swampy planet of Dagobah he begins helping to train the young Luke Skywalker in the Jedi arts. Anyways, one of the things Yoda explains to Luke is, "Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter" and it made me think of the light of Christ in us. Funny how random unassociated things can remind us of greater truths. I'm so glad that we are much more than "crude matter."

I sought the Lord, and He answered me, and delivered me from all my fears. They looked to Him and were radiant, and their faces will never be ashamed. Psalm 34:4-5

...you were formerly darkness, but now you are Light in the Lord; walk as children of Light (for the fruit of the Light consists in all goodness and righteousness and truth), trying to learn what is pleasing to the Lord. Ephesians 5:8-10

Speaking of May the 4th, another "May the fourth be with you" meme I saw posted a few times on Facebook was an illustration of the Old Testament story of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, three Hebrew men who were thrown into a fiery furnace for refusing to worship Nebuchadnezzar II, the king of Babylon. You can read the story in the book of Daniel chapter 3. However, when they were thrown in, they didn't die, but rather a fourth person appeared in the fire with them... the Son of God! I was grateful for this reminder too, the promise of "God with us" even in our hard seasons and even when we are walking in the Valley of the Shadow of Death. This does not mean that God will always rescue us but He will be with us.

Well, all of this brings me to my latest update. Over the last few weeks, this body of "crude matter" has developed a chronic dry cough which has gotten pretty irritating and makes it hard to really sleep at night. When Mike and I met with my oncologist here at TX Oncology New Braunfels this past Wednesday, we asked her about it. She listened to my breathing and my lungs and ordered a CT scan for this coming Tuesday to see what's going on inside with the pleural effusion and the lung metastases. I am grateful that we won't have to wait another month for the scheduled scan at MD Anderson. It's possible that the dry coughing could be from an allergy or a virus or something along those lines. However, a dry cough can also be something that comes with a pleural effusion and tumors in the the lungs. I read that it can also be caused by different medications including the Faslodex hormone treatment I've been on for the past couple of months. Anyways, I am looking forward to finding what may be the causing culprit and am hoping that there may be a remedy or way finding  better relief. For now, I'm sipping on hot tea and chicken bone broth, drinking lots of water, chewing gum and sucking on throat lozenges to help minimize it as much as I can. 

Speaking of MD Anderson, I have made the decision to transfer all of my care back to my oncologist here. I won't qualify for any of their research and trials because I am dealing with two different cancers, stage IV breast cancer and multiple myeloma. While I am thankful for the good care I received at MD Anderson, I am at a place in this journey where, in my understanding, there aren't a whole lot treatment options left for the stage IV breast cancer if next week's scan doesn't show any improvement in the lung tumors from the Faslodex treatment. I understand that what's left would be more chemotherapy by infusion, something I'm not too keen on doing again, but we'll see how things are and I'll keep you all posted. 

I think that many of you may have the impression that I am constantly strong and always positive as I navigate all the cancer journey and it is easier to be that way when there isn't much pain or other issues. However, as annoying symptoms like coughing attacks and the pain in my lungs, chest, and back become more frequent, I do have some hard and heavy days emotionally mainly because I get so tired of walking this road even though God has done so much good through it all. This past Monday was particularly hard. I don't share this for pity but just to be real. Sometimes all one can do is groan and cry out to their Heavenly Father and thank Him for being present in the midst of the "fire." May the fourth be with you! 

Thank you for your continued love, prayers, and encouragement. 

'Till next post...