"I'm just a person like you except I have a few tumors." Over breakfast tacos yesterday morning I was catching up with a friend and we were agreeing on how we don't want the hard things we go through to become our central identity. Surely, they may become a part of the forming of it, but similar to Aristotle's quote, "[A person] is more than the sum of their parts." And strangely, even though something life threatening like stage IV breast cancer is like living 24/7 with an 18-wheeler bearing down on you in your rearview mirror, the novelty or spectacle of it loses its dramatic feel after a while. For me I think it's because, while I am still keenly aware of its impending impact, when I "look up" I am looking at the One who has given me peace and perseverance instead of what's coming at me in the mirror. If you were an 80's teenager or older you probably remember the TV sitcom Cheers and its theme song. Well, Since I've been going to TX Oncology New Braunfels for so long now I sometimes imagine that song's chorus playing as I walk into the clinic each week for my treatments and bloodwork because "everybody [there] knows my name" and I know most of theirs now too. 

"...Sometimes you want to go 

Where everybody knows your name

And they're always glad you came

You want to be where you can see

Our troubles are all the same

You want to be where everybody knows your name..."

To be sure, even though I’ve gotten kind of used to it, living with cancer treatment hasn’t lost its impact or significance in my life. However, I know that there are lots of people dealing with their own hard things that may be just as challenging, and possibly even more so, than going through cancer. 

How many of you can presently say, "I'm just a person like you except I have _______________?" What other kinds of life altering things could go in that blank? Diabetes? MS? Paralysis? Depression? Heart issues? Endocrine issues? Being a caregiver? Really, I think the list of all the possible things would probably not even fit on this blog. What is the "cross" you carry? In other words, in what way/s have you been challenged to live with something really hard that makes you die to yourself? 

Then he said to the crowd, “If any of you wants to be my follower, you must give up your own way, take up your cross daily, and follow me. If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake, you will save it. Luke 9:23-24 (NLT)

I am convinced, especially if we belong to Jesus, that we all go through the process of dying "little deaths." That is, the ways we, little by little, are challenged to let go of… the picture we envisioned for our life, our agenda, our self-righteousness, our existential view of the world and life that are so easily impacted by our flesh, our comfort, our pride and vanity, and so many other things nowadays. 

I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me. Galatians 2:20 (NASB2020)

And then there's that final season, whether drawn out or fairly short, where God will eventually lead us through the "Valley of the Shadow of Death"... the BIG D… and if the little deaths haven't gotten your attention, Death Valley certainly will. There’s nothing like facing something life threatening to cause one to re-evaluate their life, the path they’re heading down, and whether or not they are right with God. 

But this is all part of being a human and if we are in Christ, because He bore the hardest cross of all (Isaiah 53), He enables us to bear our comparably little crosses and persevere for His glory and our transformation into His image bearers. All praise and credit goes to Him for the way He brings good to our hearts and souls from crazy and painful things like hardships and tumors! I can say "good" because, even if it doesn't feel very good, anything that makes us draw closer to Him is a good thing, is it not? 

This is really random but I think it’s funny how many ways we have of saying a person has died in the English language and these are not even all of them:

• Kicked the bucket

• Bought the farm

• Expired

• Departed

• Passed away

• Perished

• Pushing up daisies

• Bit the dust

• Croaked

• Six feet under

• Sleeping with the fishes

• They’re belly up

• Gave up the ghost

• Went to a better place

• Met their Maker

• Popped their clogs

• Resting in peace

• Called home

• Passed beyond the veil

• Went the way of all flesh

• Shuffled off this mortal coil

• Taking a dirt nap

• Took their final curtain call

• Cashed in their chips

• Joined the choir eternal

If you google these euphemisms/idioms you’ll find that some of the history on how they came to be is pretty interesting. Boy! Someone could write a hit country song with all these!

UPDATE

I don’t really have much of an update on how things are going with the treatments or how I’m doing which is why I haven't posted in almost a month. Things are pretty much the same; just keeping on keeping on. Still having some pain from the pleural effusion. I did start exercising again and I usually feel better afterwards although I haven't lost any weight yet. Maybe the increased muscle from lifting weights again is taking the place of the fat? I know muscle is heavier than fat. I'm sure it'll take some time...

Over the last few weeks, we enjoyed the good medicine of getting to see old friends (see photos). I also did another button art craft. I wish I could remember who gave me the nice burlap bag from the Silos in Waco but I came up with the idea to sew buttons on one side for a fun decoration. It’s a great bag for taking things to do while I’m at my weekly infusion appointment. 

He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together. Colossians 1:17 (NIV)

So grateful He continues to "hold me together!"

I guess that’s all I have for now. Love and thankfulness for you all.

‘Till next post…