Since I last posted, we have been managing relatively well. Jon had after effects from his last chemo for the first time— some nausea that was well controlled with medication— and exhaustion has started to become a part of daily life. The doctor says that this is the result of accumulated chemo and that we can expect more of the same. Regular life is filled with the unexpected, and life while dealing with a serious cancer is even moreso. You think you have a routine established, and then you don’t. Foods that are beloved are no longer so hot. Plans on the calendar need to be canceled. A good night’s sleep is followed by a miserable morning. A rotten day is followed by a lovely night. No rhyme or reason.
And we all love the rhyme and reason. That’s what feels good. But life doesn’t always work that way. And cancer certainly has no rule book. I have to confess that this lack of a rule book gets me down. I want answers and I want them now. I want a predictable day and a predictable week. I want to make plans that hold up. I want Jon to feel well all the time. But it doesn’t work that way. Jon and I seem to take turns being patient. I am more patient on the phone with arrangements and customer service. He is more patient with the big picture. Somehow, it works. We have been out and about, out for lunch and dinner, visiting with friends and enjoying the San Diego sunshine. Jon has been working hard to put on the weight and I keep trying not to.
Today, Jon’s numbers were fine, so he had his chemo. He has just one more chemo treatment in this round. On June 6, he has a CT scan and then decisions will be made about the Whipple surgery. We are really hoping for it, despite how difficult it is. It’s the only chance for a long(ish) life, or possibly even a cure. If surgery is not an option, there will be other treatment choices, but probably none with as good an outcome.
This past week I turned 75, celebrated Mother’s Day, had a visit from my sister and brother in law for my birthday, and played some Mahjong. The week before, Jon’s sister, brother in law and niece braved the traffic and drove down from LA for the day, Jon has been playing bridge on line, was out with friends, and sent me flowers. Our grandchildren went to work and two of them went to prom. So life is also good!
