Amy’s Story

Site created on November 11, 2023

It's been 17 days since one sentence changed my life. I went in for my first, routine colonoscopy due to my age. I wasn't experiencing any symptoms and my doctor said just before the anesthesia was administered, "Let's give you 10 years before you need to do this again." And with that I was asleep. I woke up to the doctor sitting next to me sharing they found a tumor in my colon and it was cancer.  I was trying to acclimate back to consciousness and assimilate what the doctor was sharing with me. Two days later I was in the surgeon's office who would remove the tumor. He was not a calming presence or very reassuring by nature. I was trying to get my head around what I was dealing with and asked a lot of questions, with tears streaming down my face the entire time. I have never been much of a crier, but hearing the words, "We found a tumor and it is cancer" has a way of evoking a constant flow of tears, at least in my case. The doctor began explaining his plan to remove the tumor and scheduled surgery 5 days later. He did share there was just one more necessary step and that was to do a CT scan to ensure the cancer had not spread. I asked how often in my situation the cancer is isolated in the colon and he said most of the time. I did the CT a couple of days later and waited for his call. The call never came. We were a day before surgery and I was about to begin the prep needed to remove the tumor and decided to call the doctor's office to make sure I was in the clear. They put me on hold and immediately the surgeon got on the phone. He was quiet and I immediately knew it wasn't good. I could feel his angst and had to actually say, "Can you please just tell me what the CT discovered?" He shared that the cancer had spread into my liver and I had stage 4 cancer. He would not be able to perform the surgery at this time and I would be referred to an oncologist. It's very hard to put into words what that felt like. I sat at my dining table, alone in my house, and tried to process what I just heard. It's a feeling I have never felt, but had empathy immediately for all those I knew who did. The next few days are a blur, but I do know they were filled with a lot of tears, fears, questions, panic, hugs, and lots and lots of prayers. It has taken me a couple of weeks to pick myself up and choose to begin sharing my story. I wrestled with if I should... Satan's voice and God's love have been at war in my mind and my heart and I have had to allow that to work itself through. In the end, I am choosing to cling to God's promises. I'm choosing to trust God is at work in my body and my life, that He works all things together for good, and that He has a plan to heal me and use me and my story to encourage others in their faith. This last week has been absolutely awful. I met my oncologist (who is amazing and I am so blessed God chose her to be my doctor), had a surgical procedure to insert a port into my chest for chemo, had a PET scan, and learned all about what is about to happen to me over the next few months. That part has been awful, all of it and I have cried through each procedure, when meeting with each doctor, and through many conversations with others. But today I feel thankful the PET scan showed the cancer is not anywhere beyond what the CT scan showed and I begin chemo on Tuesday. This is going to be a spiritual, emotional, psychological, physical, and very personal journey and I invite you to pray for me and my family through it all. I will share updates here, but completely understand if following this story feels like too much. My hope and encouragement to you is to please take good care of yourself. Following me here is just one way to support me, but simply praying for me whenever you think of it or when God nudges you is a great gift too. 

Newest Update

April 30, 2024

Journal entry by Amy Hernandez —

Hello All, this is Jake.  Today, Amy and I are sitting here at her treatment.  We were making fun of each other on the way here because on these days when I am with her, we do not talk very much.  I am assuming because we see each other every day and sometimes we just do not have much to talk about.  The way I look at it is that is a true sign of love when you can sit in silence and not feel one ounce of being uncomfortable, plus just being with her works just fine for me.  I appreciate her friends that have gone and continue to go with Amy to treatment.  I know she has a way better time with them, more laughs for sure haha. 

I just realized as I was proofreading that it will be six months tomorrow.  It has been a journey so far and will continue to be one.  Along the way we have been extremely blessed and thankful for all the support from hundreds of people.  It always amazes me when people tell us they are praying on a daily basis for our family.  This past Sunday we were invited to a church service.  We are big fans of the pastor and the kids were involved in a few VBS's when they were younger.  We sat down before the service and a woman approached us.  Amy knew who she was and I recalled seeing her years ago at VBS.  She proceeded to tell us that she prays for Amy and our family on a daily basis.  I became emotional and it brought a tear to my eye (it doesn't take much these days haha), a person I had not seen in years and barely knew was praying for us everyday.  The service was great and we stayed after and prayed with a couple who has taken the same journey that Amy and I are currently.  A heavy day for sure but God's blessing were present from so many angles.

When this diagnosis first happened we were told it will be a rollercoaster.  That is definitely an understatement.  We spend every other Tuesday at treatment and Amy is down for about 3-4 days.  We are so blessed to see her bounce back and recovery and be as active as ever for the next 10 days.  She has been so strong.  Now I would like to clear something up about that word, strong.  We tend to associate the word strong with how much someone can bench press, how far they can hit a baseball, or just simply staring adversity in the face and not flinching.  Well, I am going to have to disagree.  Strong is allowing yourself to not be ok sometimes.  Strong is allowing yourself to cry a little bit.  Strong is opening up and talking to others about your situation. Strong is accepting that every other Tuesday sucks and the next few days I will be feeling crummy, but after that I am going to continue to live, recover, and heal.  That is my wife, she is STRONG in so many ways.  Amy continues to be Amy.  Making sure the kids are all set for prom and Disneyland.  Getting gifts for so many people because of a birthday or as a thank you for doing something for us.  You know Amy, always thinking of others.

Next Wednesday, May 8th we are going up to UCSF.  I believe Amy mentioned this in her last entry, but I figure I mention it again.  While the treatment is working and shrinking things up, we would like to see things move a little faster.  With the recommendation on Amy's oncologist and others at Stanford, we are going to meet with a specialist at UCSF and discuss the installation of an HAI pump.  The purpose of this pump will be to focus on the liver.  The chemo would be administered through a port and go directly to the liver.  This would also give Amy a break on the chemo that travels throughout her body.  We are excited and hopeful about this new opportunity and thankful for such amazing doctors in this area.

As I conclude I would like to request a few prayers.  Prayers for an encouraging doctors visit on the 8th that will allow Amy to receive treatment that will continue her healing process.  Prayers for the current treatment to continue to kill cancer cells, shrink tumors, and protect all organs.  Prayers for limited side effects and quick recovery from treatment.  Prayers for Hailey and Braden and for the armor or God to protect them during this time.  Prayers for God to take away all anxiousness, burdens, and worries from our family.  Prayers for everyone involved in this journey.  Prayers for all of you who are living your everyday lives and dealing with every day things, remember, everyone has something. 

Just in case you all did not know, I love my wife more than words can explain.  Knowing we are not alone in this journey has helped tremendously.  The strength of God and Amy's army has lifted us up and allowed us to continue to move forward in this chapter.  Thank you to all of you for your kind messages, texts, phone calls, cards, and simply hanging out with us whether its at our house, your house, or a nice dinner out.  I truly appreciate you all!! 

Take care,

Jake

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