We donated my breast milk today.  It took a while, partly because I procrastinated filling out the paper work and partly because they take time to review that paper work and I had to get blood work sent to the company as well.  I donated about 145oz.  
I have a lot of mixed feelings about donating.  I'm glad I will be able to help other families and babies in the NICU.  That was one of the first papers I remember signing when Will was in the NICU.  A donor milk form. If I wasn't able to produce milk, then they had our permission to give him some donor milk.
Thankfully, I was able to pump.  I stocked our drawer at the NICU and then had to start bringing it home with us.  
When Will was in the NICU, pumping gave me something to be in control of.  Everything else seemed so out of our control during that time.  But I had control over my pumping, every 4 hours I would go sit in the 'pumping' room.  I pumped because that's the one thing I could do for my son at that time.  I would sit and talk to Sofia and ask her to look out for Will. Sometimes I would cry on days he wasn't getting that great of reports.  But I kept pumping because I felt like it was the one thing I could do to help my son.  Unfortunately though, Will didn't have his feeding tube for very long.  And there was just a day or two when he actually got any of my milk.  Once they started him on Dopamine again they said he couldn't be on the meds and get the milk at the same time.  
Once Will passed I had about 50oz of milk.  I didn't know what to do with it and I knew I couldn't just discard it.  It also wasn't practical to keep it all, so we looked up Milk Donation.  Only problem was I needed 100oz or more to donate.  So for a week after Will passed I still pumped 3 or 4 times a day to get that minimum donation.  Like I said I'm glad it will help another family and their baby, but today I'm just really sad.  I'm sad that Sofia never even had a chance.  I'm sad that Will only had a couple of ounces. I'm sad that my milk isn't feeding our babies...  I'm just sad today.


*The video is of Jill 'feeding' Will.  Basically it's just a q-tip with some breast milk.  The nurses would put the swab inside and around Will's mouth.  On this day, Jill got to do it.  It's the closest we got to feeding our son.