Journal entry by Amanda Distad —
Written by Kelli.
How are you doing? I get asked that question a lot and honestly the answer changes from day to day.
February 6th marks the six-month anniversary of Tim leaving this earth and entering the presence of the Lord. I am not a stranger to grief having suffered many losses in my life, so I know the importance of anniversary dates. The anticipation of the anniversary triggers a lot of emotion, I have shed many tears in the six months, but the past couple of weeks have been a flood gate. My daughter Crystal gave me a hankie, on it, she embroidered: “Tears are Liquid Love”. I love that the Lord is keeping track of my sorrow and collecting my tears. Tears are good and they are an important part of the healing process. I think that is why there will be no tears in Heaven because we will be fully healed.
I told my daughter Amanda that I thought it might be nice to post something on Caringbridge to let folks know how we are doing. A few hours later she sent me a poem, it brought tears to my eyes. I could not believe how she captured what I am feeling. I also realized she takes after her dad in her gift of writing.
I am grateful for all the encouragement and prayers these last six months and for caring enough to ask, “how are you doing”.
Praising the Lord for drawing near to my broken heart, and sustaining me with His grace. He is the reason for my hope, and why I can say “it is well” even through the tears.
Here is Amanda’s poem:
After Six Months
I would not easily say that we’re doing well
but – well, we are still here
Bearing the loss of Tim brings pain
as we wish that we still had him near
Greater in height to the depths of our pain
is his heavenly exaltation
so that while with our souls it is well
brokenness plagues our earthly creation
This struggle between the things of this world
and those of the one beyond
is now in the spotlight for us each day
as we face that he really is gone
We celebrate birthdays and mark holidays
though our hearts may be feeling quite dim
with time, perhaps, we will find joy in these days
that we face evermore without him
Both peace like a river and billows of sorrow
my soul can accept as well
but my body is weary when life marches on
daily threatening to shatter my shell
If he was your brother in Christ or by blood,
your cousin, your uncle or best fishing bud,
your son, or your nephew, your husband or Dad
I hope you remember good times that you had
Grandpa, teacher, coworker, neighbor or friend
separation by death need not be the end
In new flesh, they rise with the Lord for all time
those gone before us from earth’s temporal design
By Amanda Distad
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