Good Evening 🌲❤️TEAMNICK❤️🌲 

Today was a good day for Nick! He tolerated the glucose water well and we went for a walk outside. The breeze and fresh air felt amazing, helping us to take in the fact that today is the beginning of June -nearly halfway into 2024.

We were talking about what we were doing last year at this time and how utterly clueless we were about what was about to unfold in our lives. We are forever changed in so many ways. I had such an attachment to the routines in my life and took so much for granted - the simplicity - the certainty with which I met each day -all of that fell away so suddenly last year when the realization that Nick was having some type of serious medical crisis became clear. No longer did I care about ANY of the day to day things that had occupied my mind and seemed important. My focus zoomed in on our dear Nick and his recovery has been the air I breathe every moment of every day since then. 

Nick has come a long way on this journey and the transplant terrain was challenging to us in ways we could have never, ever imagined. There are some times in my life that I have wished I could see into the future, but I am glad that I didn't have advance knowledge as to the magnitude of what would happen at the NIH  - or I fear I wouldn't have had the courage to get on that plane and deliver Nick to Building 10- the Clinical Center in Bethesda, Maryland. We knew nothing. We met the doctors that were going to take him to transplant over Zoom last November when we were still here at Wilmot-WCC6 and they did warn us that it was going to be hard. I remember seeing something in their eyes that told me that they knew we didn't understand the challenges that COULD lay ahead. I remember feeling fearful about that look I saw and I remember trying to tell myself that I was imagining it. I thought we could handle whatever came our way AS LONG as Nick LIVED. I am so grateful that what I saw much more powerfully then that flash of "they don't really know how difficult this will be" - was their passionate hope and belief that they COULD SAVE Nick. I saw that. I felt that and I held onto it with everything in my being. 

Those amazing, strong, smart, and deeply caring human beings that met with us shined a bright light of hope into the darkness that we knew could lead us and Nick out into the sunshine of a brighter day.

Does he have challenges still to face - yes - but he is HERE and as of now his cancer is not. 

We can keep on taking these steps toward the complete recovery. It is unfolding and it is in sight.

The AMAZING people we have met along this journey have changed me forever. Seeing the incredible strength of Nick's bond with his siblings has touched my very soul and taken my breath away. The dedication of my dear Steve, through extraordinarily challenging times has been a gift beyond measure and the way my sisters have shown up with their full hearts and without question has been a blessing in every way. 

It has been incredibly hard to face the complexities and gravity of this health crisis with Nick - but it has been  EASY and HEALING to feel the tremendous outpouring of love and care from so, so many people. People from my childhood, our neighbors, friends, relatives, my dear COUSINS, coworkers, community members, friends of friends...you all know who you are...your love and care has kept this mama going at times that could have been too much to bear.

I will end this post with the quote that I love from David Viscott - "To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides." I always imagined that what he meant was to feel it from all around you - but I was processing that from the place of it being outside of me -  now I interpret that quote differently - the both sides that he speaks of I now think means to feel it emanating from inside of me out to all of you and then to feel it coming back. That all may sound really corny but I don't care.

The love is all there really is.

LOVE to ALL <3

🌲❤️TEAMNICK❤️🌲 

🦊🌲BeRelentless🌲🦊