I have a friend who I've worked with for years that would describe a patient in distress and actively declining as "the freefall". Matt would say to the team "We have to stop the freefall." Meaning: we have to assess what has to happen immediately and do that, then do the next right thing when we have stabilized the patient. My freefall was the week of diagnosis and specialist visits and the news we were getting felt like we were falling through the net I was hoping would end this nightmare. "You know this looks like a X, not cancer." But, that didn't come and what was in its place was sad eyes and soft encouragement. 

Our freefall stopped when we met with my oncologist. To have a plan has always brought me comfort, I'm wired like that, but his was so clear and encouraging that I could feel the relief in the room from John and Jody. I am still guarded in my relief but fully know I am in the best of care.

We are not freefalling anymore - we are floating in our plan. Taking it one step at a time. Doing the next right thing. Gathering our team and resources to be prepared for the uphill battle. Talk to the girls. Take care of the girls. Love each other and have grace in our home.

The thing with floating is there is time now to enjoy the view: to love harder, leave nothing unsaid, comment on the trees turning, let go of the small stuff, prioritize the good stuff, enjoy the funnies. 

Floating is still scary but almost enjoyable with all our incredible support. Thank you. Thank you.