The Gift of Cancer

(This is a little long but power-packed and I did not want to leave out any of the crunchy goodness, so take it in parts if you need to!)

I think I have found the Cancer Gift I’ve been looking for.

When I have heard of people’s cancer journeys, I always said I wanted the gifts of the journey without the cancer. Well, I got as little cancer as it was possible to get and still get cancer, I knew I wanted to avail myself of the gifts, so I’ve been on keen lookout ever since. I knew for sure something big was in store, and I planned to get every gift along the way: spiritual, physical, emotional—whatever it was. So I gathered pieces—a quest that has carried me—but knew I had not yet cracked it open.

Last week, those pieces clicked into place. This hard work I’ve done—of seeking, and journaling, and listening—have come together into a beautiful whole that is far greater than the individual parts. As I changed elements of my life, I ended up changing my life.

I can’t give you my journey (any more than I could get it) without living through it. But I share the heart of it with you in hopes that you will find it helpful. I seek only to share my path, not to reach into yours, as each of us must walk for ourselves.

I am also excruciatingly aware that many cancer journeys are much more complicated and heartrending than mine has been, and that many (including both my parents) never made it to Survivor. My heart beats with love for you.

You do you, beloved, and I will do me—as is true for each of us. 

These are physical, spiritual, emotional changes that—when they click together—create something sublime. Take them for whatever they’re worth to you, and I wish you every peace along your way.

1.     Intermittent Fasting—This reduces the hours you eat in a day. I’m now eating only within an 8-hour period, which means 16 hours of not eating. Essentially, I finish all my eating by 8 pm, say, and then I don’t eat again until noon the next day. So I wait 16 hours until I eat again. (Some people go 18 or 20 hours.) This gives your body a chance to clear out—something like restarting your computer—and puts you in autophagy (or self-eating)—i.e., it burns the fat cells already in the body. This is said to be as effective as chemotherapy in reducing-cancer recurrence risk—what??—and wonderfully effective for preventing many, many other health issues.* The Japanese saying: “A stomach 8/10s full needs no doctor.”

2.     150 minutes a Week of Active (elevated heartrate) Exercise—My medical team told me this 150 minutes a week of active exercise cuts chance of cancer recurrence by half—that’s huge!—plus all the other exercise benefits. But the key ways that work for me are: a brisk and sustained walk (half an hour to some point of interest, and back); workouts to YouTube videos (I knock out a few in the morning and I’m good to go); and dancing (yes, dancing!)

a.     5 Rhythms Dance—When I mentioned to my lovely trans masseuse (who’s had his own top surgery) that I would love to dance, he suggested 5 Rhythms Dance. It is really 80 lovely minutes of nonstop freeform dance and frees up things inside. You can probably find one near you. Last week was my first time and I will become a regular!

b.     Fabulous 50s—This woman is the best! Full of joy, and so many wonderful, helpful tips. Watch any or all, and do a few each day. https://fabulous50s.co/fitness/

c.     Sherry Zak Morris—this woman has some great and very accessible routines. I’m enjoying them a lot.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_pLG_-UGyzw  

3.     Breathe—Most of us do not breathe deeply and fully as we need to do, and I knew this was an issue for me. Then I came across Breathe, by Dr. Belisa Vranich. Lifechanging. Deep, full, belly breath heals all of our body and our body did it naturally when we were tiny, so it’s about relearning. It is now a mindfulness practice for me.

4.     Meditation and/or Prayer—This is a beautiful way to bring focus to those monkey-minds of ours. I have been seeking to do this for a while but I did not understand how. The more I get hold of it, the more peace and rest I’ve found.

a.     Qi Gong Energy for Your Body+—you can find any number of beautiful Qi Gong teachers on YouTube. My favorite at the moment is Master Mingtong Gu. I find him delightful and incredibly peaceful. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oj0ewBvr6zM If he is not your speed, you can try Jeff Chand. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y88zYo0YlOo And plenty of others.

b.     Qi Gong Love for Your Organs—I love this from Mantak Chia. This only taps the beginning of something powerful, and I plan to seek out more from him. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wQJ1DU6LQXQ

5.     Sleep—A friend told me that her mom went to the doctor with several big symptoms, and he said, “You’re sleep deprived.” She asked if he could give her a pill or something for it. He said, “No! You need sleep!” Nothing replaces sleep, and if you can’t get enough, your body cannot heal or create wholeness. I’ve had terrible trouble falling asleep, and then would wake 5.5 hours later and be unable to get back to sleep. Nothing brought peace, so I was living on 5.5 hours of sleep a night, which my doctor told me (surprise!) is simply not enough. I have worked on getting my circadian rhythm into place, which helps. https://www.sleep.org/articles/4-tips-maximize-circadian-rhythm/ But I am finding that the key is for all the pieces to come together. A peaceful whole. Just as you can’t really “spot” lose or gain weight—it’s sort of overall weight loss or gain—getting it together to find peace is also a sort of global thing, not in spots. That’s what came together for me around all this (which leads to 6 and 7).

6.     Self-Love—Insufficient love for you equals insufficient love for others, plain and simple. Make this happen, whatever it takes, Beloved. You deserve it (that is, it serves you well). Deprogram toxic religious or childhood teaching. Therapy or meditate to remove your goblins. Retrain your mind.

7.     Self-Talk is everything—and I Mean Everything. Self-talk is the implementation of self-love. Speak to yourself as you would to someone you would love with all your heart. Speak as to someone you’d do anything for. Gently self-correct when you find words in your head that you wouldn’t say to others. (They were programmed in and they must be programmed out.) You are the most important relationship you have, so make it a good one!

8.     …Because Thoughts Become Things—I have actually been quite good at self-talk and self-love, I believed, so as I listened to Louise Hay (Hay House) and Mike Dooley (Notes From the Universe), I wondered how to move it forward. They and others told me that thoughts become things. The Bible tells us to, “Speak things that aren’t as though they are.” https://www.kingjamesbibleonline.org/Bible-Verses-About-Speaking-Things-Into-Existence/ I believe this. How do I implement it? As I got off the airplane last week in Orange County (for a memorial service), I thanked God for a safe trip and a beautiful life—I say thanks countless times a day—that’s not an accomplishment, it’s just who I am—and suddenly I got it! Every time I say, “Thank you God…” (for this day, this life), I’m going to say all the things I want to be: speaking what’s not in addition to what is. “Thank you for a beautiful life! Perfect health! Friends! Abundance! Success! Peace! For me and for Rob! And all of this for our kids! All the things!” This may be something you can grasp or it may take your own journey to grasp—but this is golden. This was the final piece for everything to fit together. To speak what’s not as if it is makes your mind work to make it so! We create our lives with our thoughts. I have come to believe this completely. You don’t have to believe me—it was the final clicking together of a long, long journey. But for me, this is key. So make them good ones.

These are my insights for my path right now. Obviously, we all move and grow. But we have endless access to all kinds of selfhelp videos and information to take charge of our health and our lives. And that’s really key: by having to take hold of my health, I’ve taken hold of my life! Ah, a sacred gift!

And I am honored to walk with you along this way.

I would love to hear your thoughts about all this and what you have found on your own path. As Ram Dass said, “We’re all just walking each other home.”

I wish you every joy as you continue in this amazing life we are privileged to live! Love your families, love your friends, love yourselves… and I will do the same! <3

Unbounded love, Susan

* Obviously I cannot possibly give medical advice. I simply share my opinion on what I’ve read and tried and found to be lifegiving. For questions, ask your doctor. (That’s the legal disclaimer!) And listen to (and trust!) your very accurate gut for what is right for you. :-)

+ People from a Christian or other religious background may view some of these mind-focused, heart-focused practices as a threat to their beliefs, but we need not fear truths from other traditions! If it’s really truth we’re talking about, God is truth; and God is God of all! No fear, Beloved. Just love.