Welcome to Shonda’s CaringBridge Site
Sign In to Show Your Support1 year since surgery - here I am, still alive and going strong. The fact that I’m not only still alive—but doing everything I can to live the best kind of life I can dream of — never fails to amaze me and fill my heart with gratitude. Grateful for the teams of physicians and nurses who have given me the best of care! Grateful for my Good Vibe Tribe - that you all have been on this journey with me, supporting me, encouraging me, and giving me energy to keep dreaming and living life to the fullest :)
I’m not going to sit here and pretend that cancer was the best thing that happened to me. Because it is NOT —not by a long shot. It has been a torturous and terrifying experience. I don't have any idea how long it will take me to come to terms with what has been, or what lies ahead. I am sure the internal and external scars are something I will carry with me for the rest of my life. Not to mention a long list of scary side-effects and secondary diseases that the treatments and drugs warn could be lurking somewhere down the road, waiting for a chance to strike.
But I don’t hate the fact that I had cancer either. I am learning to accept cancer as a part of my life journey. Even though there are memories that sting, and one day I hope to be able to forget, there are some valuable parts that I hope to never forget. The one big positive - I’ve come to realize that cancer has taught me a great deal about myself and about life that I probably wouldn’t have learned otherwise. As much as cancer has taken away from me, it has also given life lessons that pushed me to grow and be stronger. I think I may finally be past the anger stage? Who knows, it comes and goes.
I keep seeing this social media post that is well-intentioned, and I am sure it brings comfort to some folks. The short version:
This all sits wrong with me. Maybe it is just timing? Maybe it is the wording? Maybe it is just wrong? Maybe it is just my perspective? Maybe it is just that anger stage sticking around?
Here are my thoughts:
So, what are the big life lessons I have learned over this past year?
Stay strong! Keep learning, growing, dreaming, and embracing life!
And, most important - Gratitude is essential!!!
I didn’t always have a grateful heart. And I certainly wasn’t in a state of gratefulness when a cancer diagnosis came out of nowhere and knocked me to the ground. Instead, I cried, I was angry, and I felt sorry for myself. But I noticed the more I complained about my plight, and the more I focused on the negative, the worse I felt inside. Add in the double-whammy when my Dad had a stroke and was diagnosed with cancer over the summer, and I guarantee there was very little gratitude hanging around in my heart.
From the very early days of my journey, focusing on gratitude helped pull me out of that angry and sad cycle. It wasn’t easy cultivating an attitude of gratitude—not sure I have fully cultivated it yet! It is taking time, effort, and lots of willpower. What I have learned is I am able to keep my spirits up in some of the lowest points in my life—and I have gratitude and my Good Vibe Tribe to thank for that!
Please keep all the Good Vibes coming! I am truly grateful for you :)
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