Journal entry by Nadia Mullin —
I missed World Mental Health Day yesterday. I was a little caught up in all of the other "days" going on. Indigenous Peoples' Day as well as my dear friend, Jenny's birthday. I thought it might be good to post something in honor of the day, even if it's a day late.
I'm glad that recognition for mental health has increased as it has over the course of the past several years. I wonder if the pandemic, and the process of collective trauma, has opened us up to normalize mental health in the ways that we have. It's not great that we've had to endure trauma to get here, but if we can use the lessons learned to create greater access to mental health resources then we will have found some meaning (a DBT skill) in the midst of what we have experienced.
When first diagnosed, I imagined a day when I would be open about my mental health journey. However, I always imagined that I would tell my story after I was "cured." My story would be one told in past tense. "When I had depression..." What I slowly (very slowly) began to realize was that it looked like my diagnoses and their accompanying symptoms weren't going anywhere anytime soon. I had to come to a place of radical acceptance (another DBT skill) around my diagnoses. I wrestled with my identity and came to a place of accepting that my diagnoses are a part of who I am; they aren't who I am. And the way that they have impacted my life is huge. I still have so many days when I want to fight my diagnoses, but I have to remember that they are a part of who I am, for good and for bad, and that I'm working to help the ways in which they negatively impact my life. Days like World Mental Health Day are a simple reminder that I'm not alone.
As for other stuff in my world: TMS is still going. I am at my therapeutic dose. Treatments don't feel great, but are tolerable. I don't have any real noticeable effect from it yet. My facial nerve was being stimulated pretty strongly by the pulses, and last treatment they were able to angle the magnet so that my face wasn't twitching as much. That helped some of the discomfort. I just keep on keeping on for now and wait to see if TMS will bring some relief.
I'm glad that recognition for mental health has increased as it has over the course of the past several years. I wonder if the pandemic, and the process of collective trauma, has opened us up to normalize mental health in the ways that we have. It's not great that we've had to endure trauma to get here, but if we can use the lessons learned to create greater access to mental health resources then we will have found some meaning (a DBT skill) in the midst of what we have experienced.
When first diagnosed, I imagined a day when I would be open about my mental health journey. However, I always imagined that I would tell my story after I was "cured." My story would be one told in past tense. "When I had depression..." What I slowly (very slowly) began to realize was that it looked like my diagnoses and their accompanying symptoms weren't going anywhere anytime soon. I had to come to a place of radical acceptance (another DBT skill) around my diagnoses. I wrestled with my identity and came to a place of accepting that my diagnoses are a part of who I am; they aren't who I am. And the way that they have impacted my life is huge. I still have so many days when I want to fight my diagnoses, but I have to remember that they are a part of who I am, for good and for bad, and that I'm working to help the ways in which they negatively impact my life. Days like World Mental Health Day are a simple reminder that I'm not alone.
As for other stuff in my world: TMS is still going. I am at my therapeutic dose. Treatments don't feel great, but are tolerable. I don't have any real noticeable effect from it yet. My facial nerve was being stimulated pretty strongly by the pulses, and last treatment they were able to angle the magnet so that my face wasn't twitching as much. That helped some of the discomfort. I just keep on keeping on for now and wait to see if TMS will bring some relief.
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