Casey, my first-born, turns 5 tomorrow…

 

5 years and 9 months ago, I was crying on a beach with Rusty because I had received disheartening news for what felt like the 100th time that we were not expecting. I felt defeated and thought maybe it wasn’t in the cards for us. But I remember clear as day that as we turned around to walk inside, there was one cloud in the sky and it was shaped exactly like a baby. I thought I was ridiculous that I was seeing what I wanted to see. I didn’t tell Rusty because he would have thought I had lost it. Three days went by and I had a dream about the cloud shaped like a baby. God was trying to tell me! Later that day, I found out I was pregnant. God’s answered prayer. 

 

5 years ago, I was very pregnant at 3 days past 40 weeks. Despite Casey being late, I thought I was having Braxton Hicks when my contractions started. Every woman I spoke to told me expect tremendous back pain in the beginning of labor so I continued to wait for back pain. When my contractions were less than 5 minutes apart yet no back pain, Rusty insisted we leave for the hospital as he was terrified he would be delivering the baby himself. At the hospital, Casey came in his own fashion but he was a perfectly healthy 7 lb 3 oz baby boy. God’s greatest blessing. 

 

7/20/23 was the worst day of my life and I try not to ask God why because his greater plan is beyond what I can comprehend. I try not to fall into the trap of wondering what I did wrong or how I could have possibly prevented this from our sweet boy. I do know that God gave us this precious boy in his perfect timing for a reason and loves him beyond measure. I have witnessed God’s countless miracles first-hand with Casey since the day I knew he was coming. God has been with us since the beginning. God’s miracle child. 

 

I know God is working this story in Casey. He has great plans for Casey. Casey has the kindest heart. He is gentle and incredibly intuitive. He is very caring (even down to the worms he refuses to use on a fishing hook and wants to rehome them). He is protective of his mama and the best big brother. We tell him how proud of him we are everyday. 

 

Casey wakes up energetically and it lasts the entire day. He will occasionally complain of leg pain with fatigue but he is running off after a short, seated rest break. He enjoys being outside going for neighborhood walks or playing on our playground. He talks a mile a minute with us, but we are still working on social interaction with others. I have seen improvement, but I know it will take time. I love to hear his sweet voice and his belly laugh is music to my ears. 

 

Casey’s hair is coming in fast. We were warned the color could be different but it appears to be his same blonde/light-brown color. He even had his first “cow-lick” on the back of his head the other day. It was perfect. His hair is growing over his surgical scars well and it is becoming much less noticeable. I am noticing less sympathetic faces when we are out so I think most people think he just has a short haircut at this point. He has been wearing hats more with the warmer weather to protect his head. 

 

I have noticed that he is saying “what? What’d you say?” more frequently after I speak to him. Particularly if there is background noise or in the car. Then there are times he hears the high-pitched jingle of the washing machine finishing from the 2nd floor and tells me laundry is ready. There are times I feel he is speaking louder than those speaking around him, but he is also a boy. We will continue to monitor and I pray his hearing stabilizes. 

 

He has been working hard at eating larger amounts and I am slowly weaning him off his feeding tube. We have been proud of him for his dedication to eating more to have his g-tube removed. His weight is up and remaining stable. No vomiting in over a month. 

 

Casey will continue with scans every 3 months. Faith over fear. God is with us. 

 

We have returned to church and are trying to settle back into a routine. It felt great to be back. Casey is ecstatic about his birthday party coming up with friends he has not seen in just shy of a year. We are thrilled for him. We will then be taking a family vacation for much needed time together to celebrate.  

 

Happy Birthday to my soon-to-be 5 year old! We are so proud of you. We love you to the moon and back a million times.