Pink Martini performed at the Goshen College Music Center tonight. I was happy they played one of my favorites, “Hang on Little Tomato”. I love the simple, beautiful melody; it makes me smile and dance a bit whenever I hear it. Part of the lyrics sound a little bit like our last year and a half:
Just hang on, hang on to the vine
Stay on, soon you'll be divine
If you start to cry, look up to the sky
Something's coming up ahead
To turn your tears to dew instead."
And so I hold on to this advice
When change is hard and not so nice
If you listen to your heart the whole night through
Your sunny someday will come one day soon to you
It’s not true that going through a hard thing always leads to something easier or better. But often we have to hang on and wait, sometimes doing the hard work of life, to get to the next, hopefully better, bit of time.
Great news and significant milestones in the last couple of weeks. Last week I had scans and a follow up appointment with my oncologist. Things are looking good at one year after chemo and we can space out follow ups a bit more. And, I was happy to have my port taken out this week! It feels good to have that amazing piece of hardware out because it’s not needed.
One year ago I was just starting to heal from the hard, hard work of chemo. My head was bald, my energy was gone, my hands and feet were numb, tingly and weak. Now I’m working my regular schedule, puttering outside, creating and planning projects and travel, and cooking with appetite. I am beyond grateful to the healthcare people and science that gave me the treatments my body needed. And, also to the caregivers, friends and family that gave me the care and support I needed to survive the treatments. That care continued over the past year to help me get back to be more like me, and to remind me to be patient.
China Forbes, lead singer of Pink Martini, sang a song she recently released, “Full Circle”. The lyrics say, in part:
And life will sweep you off your feet
Knock you off and drag you down
Someday you'll find yourself back here again
And you won't believe how far you've come
And you won't believe how much you've done
And you won't believe
That you keep coming round
Keep coming round
There are circles and cycles in life, and we often mark them as anniversaries, birthdays, or seasons. So, at this one year mark, even though every scan brings the fear and anxiety, I will marvel at the change and the healing. And I will sit in the golden sunshine of fall, with gratitude.
