I have been dreading this part of the plan for months.  Today Lennons menu included sedation , spinal tap,  intrathecal methotrexate, IV cytoxan, etoposide, cytarabine ( for 4 days in a row, home care will be setting us up with supplies so I can give this chemo through his port the next 3 days at home, childrens did todays dose) and the start of 6 days of an oral chemo called tioguanune ( 6tg ). I won't bore you with the side effects ...  but you can about imagine.  

His anc is starting to drop now and will only continue to trend down after all this so we will have to be more careful with him and germs and staying home more. This is Lennons last week of kindergarten,  his last day is Friday.  While I don't expect him to feel up to going I know he will at least attempt it because he is so excited about it. 

Today was rough .. and I struggled with some internal anger today.  We have already done all this..  and here we are again.  He doesn't deserve this.   Regardless of my thoughts I put on a smile and Lennon did amazing. He slept for a really long time after sedation and woke up hurting, sad and nauseous. It was heartbreaking.  On top of his IV kytril they gave IV ativan and he was VERY sensitive to it. It gave him double vision and a very groggy almost drunk like personality.  We were able to find some humor out of a few comments he has made so far ( one of those was that Jeremy's head looked like a toilet. .. lol ) . All his chemos finished around noon and home care already had been there to give me all the supplies I need to give him chemo at home. We are headed out of the cities now . Hopefully everything goes smooth the next 3 days and no issues with his port / the needle or my giving him his chemo. Pray for his side effects to be controlled to the best of my ability with the meds I have on hand, and for Lennon to tolerate this and play through his discomfort. Even though we had a really crappy agenda today we had a great nurse and everything flowed smoothly so for that we are grateful. 

We will be back next Monday to unfortunately do it it all again ! 

Love the Ludewigs