Today marked 30 days since the neurologist walked into my room at the hospital and told me with 97 percent certainty I have MS.  I lived 8 or 9 years undiagnosed dealing with a lot of these but in just 30 days since it's been official my life has been even more of a roller coaster.  It's both weird and a huge relief asking for help on bad days or just bad moments and sometimes just admitting I can't do something.  Over the last 2 weeks I've hung up the cane, I've started driving most of the time again, I'm walking through stores without a cart, and overall feel stronger.  I've started physical therapy now 2 1/2 weeks in and I feel it's going great.  It's a trial and error process to figure out where I'm at and really what's needed.  The weird thing about therapy is it's making me realize I have 0 idea how to stand or really walk without my knees locked up.  I know they've been a bit locked for awhile but I didn't know that mentally and physically that ability isn't there.  They have me do exercises where I have to stand with my knees bent in what's supposed to be a natural position but it feels wrong to me.  Luckily they know what to do to hopefully correct that.  I feel there's been more positive in the last 30 days though then I can remember in a long time.  I've had a lot of good things happen to me over the last few years and I've enjoyed them but over the last month not hiding this disease, asking for help when needed, and not forcing myself to do things I can't I'm overall happier then I have been in a long time.  I'm healthier with MS then I was without it and I haven't even started at the gym yet.  I'm hoping that's just a couple weeks out though.  
The most difficult part of this process to this point hasn't been the limitations or having the disease in general.  Those have been pretty easy because I have support wherever and whenever I need.  I have an amazing wife who helps with whatever is needed putting me first.  It's an exhausting job being a mother of 2 and having a husband who can't always be the husband and father that I should be.  I have great friends almost whenever I need too ready to talk or help with anything I'm unable to do.  It's been overwhelming but also great to see.  I'm surrounded by unselfish caring people.  The difficult part of this process in the first 30 days is finding out what is normal now.  Life will never be what it was again and that's scary.  It's not necessarily a bad thing though it's honestly what I make of it.  I need to have an attitude that it's really not that bad.  My schedule is pretty busy with therapy, doctors appointments, a full time job, parenting, being a husband, still trying to have somewhat of a life, monthly infusions coming up, and eventually the gym.  I was trying to move my schedule around at first to be as accommodating as possible to my coworkers but the longer days ended up really wearing me out.  I have to remember the fatigue factor associated with MS.
Over the last 30 days since I was diagnosed I've been able to learn a lot.  I learn more about myself and how to live with this the best I can.  One of the biggest lessons I've learned besides the importance of being honest and asking for help is I need to think about myself and my health now.  I've always wanted to do what's best for others and I still want to but when it comes down to scheduling everything and what hours to work for once I'm going to concentrate on me.  
I'm just 30 days into officially having this lifelong disease.  I really appreciate all the help and offers to help I've received.  I know I'll need more in the future as we learn to deal with this and figure out how to get things done but I know I have a support team to get me through whatever the future holds.