My mom has been gone six months. Six excruciating months. The world as we knew it, no longer exists. Somehow, we’ve made it through. I know there will be another six months and another and another and it will get easier. It’s hard to feel that though as you watch your father’s world be destroyed and your children loose their safe, soft landing spot. I’m ashamed of myself for having done nothing to preserve her memory for others.
I have been asked by many if I’d be willing to share a copy of mom’s eulogy. Up until now, my Aunt Deen is the only one that’s had it. Today feels like a good time to share it. 

Thank you all for showing up today. The sheer number of people here is a tribute itself to a life well lived. We know your hearts are broken right along with ours and that you share in our sorrow. I ask that you bear with me as this is going to be really rough and I’ve had little preparation.

My mom had two older sisters, Willadeen and Georgia. I heard my whole life, “Deenie was born first and got to be smart. She was the straight A student, valedictorian, she got the brains, Deenie got to be smart. Next came Jo and she got the talent.  Jo was a gifted musician, had a beautiful voice, was artistic in every way, shape and form and so Jo got the talent. By the time I showed up 12 years later, there wasn’t much left for me to be so, I just got to be happy”. And happy she was. Ok, on a side note before I get started on how happy mom was, I want you to know she wasn’t always happy with me and dad. She wasn’t happy about Crown Zellerback shutdowns. She wasn’t happy when I got so many speeding tickets that her insurance got cancelled. You know, stuff like that. My mom was pretty formidable and Dad and I had to stick together. She’d often ask, “why do you always stick up for your father? Why do you always take your dad’s side?” Because woman, he is no match for you alone but he and I together stood a fighting chance! And the other times I did it just because I knew it pissed her off! Now, let’s get back to happiness.

Mom wasn’t happy because her life was perfect…far from it. She was the child of an alcoholic, she couldn’t see a foot in front of her and had to wear inch think glasses, she lost her parents at a fairly young age, she was told she couldn’t bear the children she wanted to have, she was diagnosed with ovarian cancer at the age of 32. She had plenty to be unhappy about right out of the gate! But her happiness didn’t come from external sources, it came from within and all that happiness in her heart and soul manifested itself outward into LOVE. Love of just about everything and everyone. You all are here today because you probably felt some of that love. I don’t have to tell you what a great human she was. You told us through the 100’s of messages, tributes, emails, phone calls, FB posts. I wrote down some of the descriptions you gave of her: a treasure, a good friend, wonderful, kind, loving, lively, amazing, fun, special, awesome, a pillar, a mentor, a local Icon…the list goes on and on. I’ve also heard a lot of “I’ll never forget the time she did this for me or she believed in me when no one else did.”

She really lived a life of service to others. She loved working in nursing homes in her younger years. In her years of being Wahkiakum County Assessor she would tell you she worked FOR her taxpayers because they were what mattered. After retiring after 25 years with the county, she truly found her passion in selling real estate because she got to work with and help people on a much more personal level. She often told me if she had known how much she loved it, she would have done it much sooner. I think she usually brought along a set of adoption papers to her closings so that when everything was said and done, not only did you get a new house but you also had a crazy adoption agreement with this woman who now shows up on Thursdays at 3:00 for a glass of wine. Mark and Dan, am I not telling the truth? Because once she knew you, she loved you and once she loved you, you belonged to her whether you liked it or not.

She is loving this right now. She’s got everyone together, all her family and friends. It’s St. Patrick’s Day and she was a little Irish. It’s also Sunday and she is in her church where you would find her almost EVERY Sunday. So, all this has worked out really well for her, us not so much. She’d be having a hard time understanding what all the fuss is about. She never wanted her good deeds noticed, she never did anything with anticipation of something in return, she did so many things anonymously. I could stand up here for hours reading off her accomplishments, designations, the committees she’s headed, the boards and organizations she’s served. But she wouldn’t want any of that. During the 45 days she was recovering, I read her every card, message, well wish…and there were A LOT of them. She had close to 9000 visits to her Caring Bridge site that documented her recovery. More than a few times she asked “why?” Why are there so many cards, why do people care what happens to me, and on one occasion she actually said “what are these people thinking? Why are they going through the trouble? I’m nothing but a ding dong.” Dad told her she was a very loved ding dong.

Yes, she was the ding dong that would stop traffic and run across the street just to give someone a hug.

Yes, she was the ding dong that everyone turned to in their times of grief. I have no clue how many eulogies she delivered for this community. She was our rock.

Yes, she was the ding dong that took the high road if given the chance and always did what was right, not what was easy.

Yes, she was the ding dong that was at EVERY community event usually cheering the loudest or waving her banner the highest. Gosh how she loved something so simple as a parade, she loved parades. Another side note, I don’t really care for parades which probably stems from the fact that she dressed me as an Indian, slapped me on a pony and paraded me through town every chance she got! I always wanted to be a Wahkiakum Cutie with a baton to twirl but instead I got “Here’s your hatchet, little Indian girl. Now go hop on your pony.”

Yes, she was the ding dong that loved and is loved. As her family though, we didn’t realize just how much. Dad has commented that we didn’t know how special she really was to SO many others. There is a void left at every turn that will never be filled.

I could go on and on and on about my mom, but being true to her spirit, I won’t. Instead I will leave you with one of our favorite sayings. It’s a Cherokee proverb and it goes like this: “When you were born, you cried and the world rejoiced. Live your life so that when you die, the world cries and you rejoice.”

Well done, mom. Well done.