I can't breathe . I am numb. I am not ok. 
We have struggled so much with this horrible disease for so long. It's been ten long years. There have been so many set backs , and then a little light at the end of the endless tunnel.. and then more set backs.  The set backs the last 10 months have been dibilitating . I won't   go into sordid details of everything that has been just suffocating us . 
The truth of the matter is that we are at the beginning of the end of Joe's journey.  The past month and a half has been hell on this Earth for us. We have exhausted every road we could take, and I can't breathe ...
My Joe.. he's tired. His body is tired. He cannot physically stay on this Earth much longer. The doctors have told us it's time to make him comfortable..there is nothing more to do.  
I cannot comprehend this. I cannot accept this. I have no say.. I cannot control this. I hate this. I can't breathe.
 I can't find any comfort. I can't understand any reason. I don't know how or want to think about doing this life without him. I have no control. That was taken from us. I can't breathe. 
My heart has been shattered into an infinite amount of pieces to never be put back together again.  I CANNOT breathe.
I want answers.. I demand answers. WHY!!!?? Why would this amazing human being be given a life just to be made to suffer? There is no answer..there is no justifying this.  
We have a small window.. just a teeny tiny window of time left. 4-8 weeks. That is just a miniscule second. That is not enough time. Not enough time for me to tell him everything. He is my saving grace..my whole heart... he is my everything. He took me when I was broken, he put  me back together. He raised my children, loved my children as his very own. He gave them, me, everything he could. He is the absolute best person I have ever known. He is the absolute funniest, most courageous and bravest man on this Earth. He has fought so hard to only be kicked in the face time and time again, only to GET BACK UP and keep fighting. 
Now it's time for him to stop fighting and rest.
AND I CANNOT F*CKING BREATHE. 
All that I can do is ask  you all to pray for him, give him words of encouragement, help him along his journey. Be there for him, tell him how much you love him. Tell me how much you love him. Tell him what he has meant to you in this life. Let him know that in the end,  our lives have been forever changed for the better because he was a part of it.