October 17, 2022

Long Overdue UPDATE …J

Summer Highlights:

Me again…. Hello! This update is way past due. For those of you that live far, and haven’t had the opportunity to connect in person with Mom, I am sorry to delay on writing. I have no excuse really… except to say that I’ve been mid-life-ing. Ugh!  Please share your wisdom! Seriously…

Anyhow, as I sit at my desk I’m looking at a framed quote I love from Carl Jung. It reads, “The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are.”  It is to this endeavor that I persist.  Mom and Cooper’s accident was a catalyst for evaluating life and making some changes to how we’d been living. It was an in-your-face reality check that things can end abruptly and without warning. In our case, thankfully, Mom has continued to steadily improve- making gains each week. But this motivated us to stop talking about things we were going to do someday and start taking action today.

Throughout this experience it has been evident that life is better in community. We are fortunate to not only have a tight knit family but to be surrounded near and far by many “framily”- you know, friends that are family. One framily member came to visit us in late Spring and as we sat on my back porch- she persisted and insisted that we needed to get back to Hooker, a small, very small town in the Oklahoma panhandle, where Mom grew up. In fact, she said she wasn’t leaving until we had a date on the calendar…I love that about this woman!

So in August- the biggest summer highlight was road tripping with Mom, the Sisters and all six grandchildren to Hooker, Oklahoma, where we hadn’t been since laying our Grandmama to rest there nearly 20 years ago.

Reminiscing on Hooker:

We grew up on stories of our Mom growing up in small town America. There were many highlights, but also things that drove Mom to become and eventually to raise a family of city girls. Hooker was an anomaly to us. As kids, my sisters and I spent the best parts of our summers there. When all our friends were going to Disney for various breaks, we’d chime in, “We’re going to Hooker!!” Oh the looks of skepticism we received!  But truly, there was something magical about that tiny country town for us urban girls. It was a breath of fresh air.

As kids we experienced a level of independence and freedom that we just didn’t have growing up in a big city. In Hooker, we had cousins that taught us to four-wheel, drag Main, and how to snipe hunt and look for jackalopes. Our Great Uncle and Aunt had a garage full of bikes. They’d have them all lined up and tell us to “pick one and go have fun.” We’d find our perfect wheels for the summer and then ride off in delight- only to be back on their front porch by noon for a visit before heading across the street to the town pool.

Those wheels took us to Main Street, the donut shop and the pizza parlor. We’d spend countless hours circling around Grandmama’s house on those bikes before settling in on the front porch swing, mesmerized by the chirp of cicadas while eavesdropping on the grown-ups conversations, drinking lemonade, watching the sun tea, and waving at cars passing by while flipping through our Seventeen and BOP magazines and enjoying orange push up pops from the Schwann man, passing the time until family dinner.  It was charming really.

To watch our kids fall in love with the small town and their extended family, just as we did as children, was a treasure. Instead of bikes, they learned to drive golf carts, Mom taking each of them on a personal tour of her hometown sharing the same stories we heard as kids.

We enjoyed family dinners every night. The kids four-wheeled and picked their own corn for dinner and helped to deliver the surplus of the harvest to people around town. They learned about Parkay (so called “butter”- it’s NOT butter!!) and played games outside until late in the evening. They learned how to pump water from a well, shoot a gun, and drive a pickup truck. They were off their phones for an entire week- in fact- they didn’t even miss them- and it was wonderful!

The kids experienced their first vanilla cokes, cherry limeades and jalapeno chicken nuggets with gravy at Mr. Burger along with our infamous 2-hour turned next day goodbyes. Best of all, they experienced the place that shaped their Nana and were able to pay tribute to their Great-Grandparents and Great-Great Grandparents as we visited their grave sites and shared stories of family who had enormous influence on each of our lives.

Though we are nearing the end of October, it is a daily occurrence, for the past 2 months that the kids ask when we can go back to Hooker. It’s clear that is was as impressionable on them as it was on us so many years ago. And Mom just beamed with pride to be able to share that space and time with her grown children and growing grandchildren. It was beyond special.

I’m Almost Done…

This has been quite a family journey. Mom continues to make remarkable healing. She had ditched the wheelchair and walker and gets around now mostly with her blinged out cane. We are enjoying our weekly PT appointments, followed by lunch and the store. And there is much to share with you on the updates around the court proceedings…but I’ll save that for next time.

As we reflect on this past year, we want you to know that we could not have gotten through the past 10 months without both our family and our beloved framily! From the group of framily that created a carpool to help get Megan’s boys to school- when her work schedule didn’t allow for her to do pick up and drop off, to the framily that headed to the grocery store for Mom mid-week when the Sisters were working. And the many of you that once Mom was up for visitors at home, came by for lunch or to take her out into the world for errands or to favorite restaurants and patiently moved at her pace while she enjoyed the gift of time and company.  Then there’s the letters and calls- so many of you have written Mom and called her regularly- she loves the phone chats and reading about your adventures. As I look at the collection of photos that recount the interactions that occurred through the summer months, I am deeply moved. You all are truly incredible!

Please know that you all have been a lifeline to Mom and our family this past year! And we love you! This has inspired us to look at where we can show up and extend the hand and heart of framily to others in the same way you all have so generously done for us. Thank you for your prayers, love and support these past 10 months! We love you all. Until next time, love well and be well.

Oh...and one more update: Derek's biggest summer highlight was that Clementine finally returned home to live with Nana, permanently. I am happy to report that he is no longer swearing with his first and last words of the day. Hallelujah! Good luck, Mom! If you need dog respite, call Megan! Ha, ha!

Gratefully Yours, 

The Sisters