“The only person you’re truly competing against is yourself.”
- Jean-Luc Picard, S1E18

<<IF THIS IS TL;DR, SKIP TO THE SPOILER AT THE END>>

I know it has been - well - October since my last update. Obviously, the grapevines still talk, so some but not everyone in my orbit is up-to-date, and for that I'm sorry.

I wanted to stay in better touch but I found that between taking a break between treatments and then finding out that my final treatment - proton therapy + chemo - was actually more physically and mentally exhausting than the first, socially engaging was a challenge and was exhausting. No love lost, I just needed some time for my brain and body to get better.  

Sure it accumulates, sure it was a hellish year. But damn, that invisible helium proton beam zapping into my butt really took it out of me. 

Anyway. I took that time to just nurse myself back to health. I really didn't go anywhere and had to stop working at Urban Surf because I was concerned about the increasing delta variant at that time (and I was immunocompromised). 

Finishing that up in February, I was just biding my time, waiting until immune system bounces back and until my post-treatment CT which happened to be this past week. So, for a while there, I really didn't know if (1) I still had cancer? (2) if the patch they zapped even went away? (3) If it spread anywhere. So, I just did a lot of alone time in the woods, hunting, foraging, and most important, thinking/preparing myself for what might come.

And last Thursday they decided to let me know that they found a "spot" on my liver and that I needed an MRI. 

So - that initial hope - that we nailed everything and I am on the mend - just felt smashed to bits. That said, it was Mom's 70th Birthday so we celebrated, bad news be damned (See pics). We built beach fires, had lots of fun, and just got to have some good family time on the water. 

Well - this week - I got my MRI. It turned out to be a BLIP on the CT...some of the contrast got a little buggered up in some fatty areas on my liver and presented itself as a hypodensity. Well, the MRI says it's absolutely nothing and my oncologist said the following:

• <<Here for the TL;DR? pick up here>> 

"I don't need to see you until your first 3 month CT scan, live your life cancer free"

SO WHAT THE HELL?!?!?! IM FLOORED, SCRAMBLED, FREE WRITING WITHOUT EDITING, AND I JUST FOUND OUT THIS MORNING. 

I felt it super important to immediately let everyone know. To let you all know HOW important each and every one of you was and is to me - whether you could donate or not. YOU ARE SO VERY IMPORTANT TO ME and I could not have got to this place of healing without all of your love and support.

I am not feeling overwhelmed by any emotion except for thank-full-ness. It's the only thing that's not been numb at this point, and it is flowing strong. 

-----------------Emotional Bit--------------------

I am thankful for my partner Veronica, my community, my people and friends, my family, my (other/adopted) families, in all parts of this world, who have been pivotal in really gearing me up to be able to handle this past year without completely falling apart. For those who really prepped my brain and nerves through philosophy and my surfing to be able to handle death (it was always philosophical up until this point), and for those who spent time nurturing my soul so that I not only survive this insanely rare cancer, but thrive through and beyond its (genetic) grip on me (parents, close friends, Gidget, and others who you all know who you are). 

Thank you. I am feeling insanely lucky and I do not feel like I did this solo. Not a single bit. 

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WHAT'S NEXT 

lots lots lots. 

Without going too far into it, Veronica and I are hoping to move to Port Angeles, WA in the coming months (if you know anyone renting a place....give me a call) and I am planning on opening a business and potentially opening a rad community project all-in-one.

Follow along with the restaurant on Instagram @ColdWaterTavernPNW for a bit more information. Think oyster/fresh seafood surf bar with mug club and taps. Also will be seeking investors and if anyone is reading and interested, please reach out! 

- As of now, this will be my last post on here! I am leaping forward from this trauma and am going to jump right back into action. Feel free to email me at

ian @ coldwatertavern.com  (NO SPACES) or one of my personals if you already have those. Phone is always on.

Love and forever thankful, 

Ian 

P.S. Yes we taught our cat Gidget how to shoulder hang-out

P.P.S. I am serious about restaurant investors ;-) Give me a shout.