Ian’s Story

Site created on June 3, 2021

**** DONATIONS MADE UNDER "TRIBUTES" GOES TO CARINGBRIDGE AND NOT MY GOFUNDME! Feel free to support CaringBridge, however, if you want to make a donation to my GoFundMe, please click "WAYS TO HELP"***

Welcome to our CaringBridge website. We are using this space to keep our family and friends updated about my colorectal cancer treatment and healing. Keep stoked and send some love, food, or funds. My community gives me strength, so please reach out and keep in touch. 


*If you are an over-30 man-friend of mine, please go schedule a colonoscopy today. DO NOT WAIT. Go and get checked out. Young adult colon cancers are on the rise and waiting until 40, let alone 50, may be too late. It's never too early to be cleared. Get ya butt checked for me. Please. I don't want anyone else to go through this. https://www.cancer.gov/news-events/cancer-currents-blog/2020/colorectal-cancer-rising-younger-adults


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Sometimes, doing dumb things is  exactly what needs to happen. This is what happened to me. 


After moving to a new apartment in January equipped with a dream wood burning stove in the kitchen, I was on the perpetual hunt for free wood. After finding a massive cherry tree limb bound for the chipper, I scooped it up into my van and immediately blew out my lower back. 

After healing from that, the pain continued, but this time in my lower abdomen. The pain continued for two weeks until it became unbearable and I went to the emergency room. 

I was scanned and poked and prodded and my CT scan showed some "pericolonic fat stranding", which can be a sign of anything from an infection to a tumor. 

The head ER doctor came in and demanded that I get a colonoscopy ASAP. He shook his finger in my face and said "DO NOT skip this. Get it done". 

On May 27th, I went in for my colonoscopy. On May 28th, I was diagnosed with colorectal cancer. 

As of now, it seems like this was caused by Lynch Syndrome - a genetic disorder that predisposes you to certain cancers that have lived dormant in your family lineage. For me, this is colorectal cancer. 

What we don't know - how to treat it (yet), what stage it is, and how life will change going forward. 

Please keep in touch and feel free to leave any questions or comments here and I will try my best to keep this updated as I move through towards healing and getting back to my new normal. 

Love, peace, and tasty waves,
Ian 



Newest Update

Journal entry by Ian Smithgall

“The only person you’re truly competing against is yourself.”
- Jean-Luc Picard, S1E18

<<IF THIS IS TL;DR, SKIP TO THE SPOILER AT THE END>>

I know it has been - well - October since my last update. Obviously, the grapevines still talk, so some but not everyone in my orbit is up-to-date, and for that I'm sorry.

I wanted to stay in better touch but I found that between taking a break between treatments and then finding out that my final treatment - proton therapy + chemo - was actually more physically and mentally exhausting than the first, socially engaging was a challenge and was exhausting. No love lost, I just needed some time for my brain and body to get better.  

Sure it accumulates, sure it was a hellish year. But damn, that invisible helium proton beam zapping into my butt really took it out of me. 

Anyway. I took that time to just nurse myself back to health. I really didn't go anywhere and had to stop working at Urban Surf because I was concerned about the increasing delta variant at that time (and I was immunocompromised). 

Finishing that up in February, I was just biding my time, waiting until immune system bounces back and until my post-treatment CT which happened to be this past week. So, for a while there, I really didn't know if (1) I still had cancer? (2) if the patch they zapped even went away? (3) If it spread anywhere. So, I just did a lot of alone time in the woods, hunting, foraging, and most important, thinking/preparing myself for what might come.

And last Thursday they decided to let me know that they found a "spot" on my liver and that I needed an MRI. 

So - that initial hope - that we nailed everything and I am on the mend - just felt smashed to bits. That said, it was Mom's 70th Birthday so we celebrated, bad news be damned (See pics). We built beach fires, had lots of fun, and just got to have some good family time on the water. 

Well - this week - I got my MRI. It turned out to be a BLIP on the CT...some of the contrast got a little buggered up in some fatty areas on my liver and presented itself as a hypodensity. Well, the MRI says it's absolutely nothing and my oncologist said the following:

  • <<Here for the TL;DR? pick up here>> 

"I don't need to see you until your first 3 month CT scan, live your life cancer free"

SO WHAT THE HELL?!?!?! IM FLOORED, SCRAMBLED, FREE WRITING WITHOUT EDITING, AND I JUST FOUND OUT THIS MORNING. 

I felt it super important to immediately let everyone know. To let you all know HOW important each and every one of you was and is to me - whether you could donate or not. YOU ARE SO VERY IMPORTANT TO ME and I could not have got to this place of healing without all of your love and support.

I am not feeling overwhelmed by any emotion except for thank-full-ness. It's the only thing that's not been numb at this point, and it is flowing strong. 

-----------------Emotional Bit--------------------

I am thankful for my partner Veronica, my community, my people and friends, my family, my (other/adopted) families, in all parts of this world, who have been pivotal in really gearing me up to be able to handle this past year without completely falling apart. For those who really prepped my brain and nerves through philosophy and my surfing to be able to handle death (it was always philosophical up until this point), and for those who spent time nurturing my soul so that I not only survive this insanely rare cancer, but thrive through and beyond its (genetic) grip on me (parents, close friends, Gidget, and others who you all know who you are). 

Thank you. I am feeling insanely lucky and I do not feel like I did this solo. Not a single bit. 

-------------------------------------- 

WHAT'S NEXT 

lots lots lots. 

Without going too far into it, Veronica and I are hoping to move to Port Angeles, WA in the coming months (if you know anyone renting a place....give me a call) and I am planning on opening a business and potentially opening a rad community project all-in-one.

Follow along with the restaurant on Instagram @ColdWaterTavernPNW for a bit more information. Think oyster/fresh seafood surf bar with mug club and taps. Also will be seeking investors and if anyone is reading and interested, please reach out! 

- As of now, this will be my last post on here! I am leaping forward from this trauma and am going to jump right back into action. Feel free to email me at

ian @ coldwatertavern.com  (NO SPACES) or one of my personals if you already have those. Phone is always on.

Love and forever thankful, 

Ian 

 

P.S. Yes we taught our cat Gidget how to shoulder hang-out

P.P.S. I am serious about restaurant investors ;-) Give me a shout.

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