Happy Sunday! I am writing this entry today from Eric's room at Regency Hospital in Golden Valley, MN. I have spent the week in MN for work and have been to visit Eric almost everyday. Last Thursday marked 2 months since Eric suffered his cardiac arrest on 12/15 and we began this journey of recovery. I will never forget the call from the doctor. She said ...."Your brother suffered a cardiac arrest. We don't know how long he was down but he had a pulse so CPR was administered. He is in critical condition. I am so sorry to give you this news."  This post will be a little different as I really want to share where we are today and the work that needs to be done going forward. Eric had the ventilator removed last week. The next step will be to cap the trach. That has not happened as quickly as they would like. He is hooked up to a bag of fluid so his throat isn't dry and he has a nasal tube for oxygen. They also  removed the feeding tube and replaced it with a PEG tube in his abdomen. While there are still a lot of wires and tubes, I feel he is more comfortable without the vent and feeding tube. 

On Thursday he had his first shave in 2 months and it was good to see that baby face. I think it made him feel better as well. During the week Eric has physically therapy. The staff is working to get his muscles stronger and once the trach is capped he can work with speech therapy. There still is not much improvement with his lower extremities. I know he knows me when I come to visit. He cried when I got here last Sunday and it broke my heart, but I was happy to know that he recognized me. He responds to the nurses. He and I have a strong brother sister bond that helps us connect. There is some concern about his short term memory and he doesn't remember how he wound up in the hospital but I am told that is normal. I can tell he is confused and scared. I have understood 2 sentences from him "What is going to happen to me?" and " How far is Minneapolis?" 

The next step for Eric's recovery is to move to a long term rehabilitation facility. There are only 4 in the area that take patients with a trach and it looks like the one in New Hope is the best option. The goal at Regency is to get him strong enough and prepare him for the move. Then the OT and PT will kick in and I am hoping that the athlete in him kicks in and he is able to go to work. Honestly I feel like he is depressed. Eric suffers from depression and anxiety so I can only image how this situation is making things worse. I struggle every day wondering if I am making the right decisions for him. The doctor was just in. The did a cat scan and there wasn't much change. We constantly worry about pneumonia. They are doing more tests tomorrow. Honestly I am hanging on to the hope that God would not have brought him back if he wasn't going to recover.

I have been thru the scared stage, the angry stage and have been sitting in the sad stage for a couple of weeks. Thursday was the first time I cried in front of him. There is no time for that so it is on to the we can beat this stage. I appreciate those who have supported us. I mean let's be real if you love Eric you have to love him Worts and all. The things we love the most about him are also the things that drive us crazy. The fact is after putting all the pieces together, that after 3 years of sobriety he had a relapse and the 2 weeks prior to the cardiac arrest were not good. I can't say for sure but I feel it contributed to the attack. I know he took advantage of his friends generosity. I hope we can make that right at some point. That being said he needs an army right now to turn this around. I head back to Illinois Tuesday night. I will be in Rochester for work Monday and Tuesday and will be able to visit with him one more time before I head to the airport Tuesday evening. I will be back for a week again on March 10th. I am really hoping his friends and teammates can pay him a visit. I think he needs that support if he is going to get better. He needs cheerleaders to get out of this funk and want to get better. I know everyone is busy and seeing him like this is not easy. I know he was an asshole the weeks leading up to this, but if you are able to give him some grace I would appreciate it. If you are unable to visit we are still asking for prayers. Eric has always believed in the power of prayer.

Thank you,

Linda