I have been wanting to write an update for months.  But, here I am almost a year later... It is hard to believe that it has been a year, one week, and a day since Chris has left us here on earth and joined his heavenly Father.  There are days where it feels like it was just yesterday and then days where it feels as if it was a lifetime ago.  Grief is STRANGE.  It is mysterious, unique, and full of a huge variety of emotions.  Chris liked to use word pictures to often describe situations.  The word picture that has come to mind that describes my grief this past year is one of being lost at sea.  I truly feel as if I have been floating on a life raft holding on with my hands and drifting at sea in a thick fog.  There are days that I have felt completely alone with sharks floating around ready to attack at anytime.  Many days I am utterly exhausted and feel as if I will sink into the ocean.  Then, there are days that I feel as if the tears are gone and I can pull myself up on the life raft, rest, and enjoy some sunshine hoping and expecting that I will be rescued.  With each day, I am discovering my "new normal" and hopeful to land back safe and sound on land with direction, purpose, and a renewed sense of hope... forever changed but not forever broken. Grief is exhausting emotionally, physically, and spiritually.  It is incredibly hard to describe.  Despite our deep sorrow, we would not have been able to navigate and process through this past year without your notes of encouragement, texts, phone calls, coffee dates, help around the house, and most importantly prayers.  Your prayers have truly sustained and continue to sustain our family through this journey.  

Since Chris' death, we have experienced lots of change.  Ryan, who still lives in Denver, was offered a promotion and change of responsibility at his work with NextWorld. He had to move once again out of his apartment (his roommates kept on getting married, haha) for a total of four moves in a year and a half. Connor was stationed in Vicenza, Italy in October of 2018 and we sure do miss him. The blessing is we now have an extra reason to visit Italy!!:) He will be stationed there for two years.  Daniel graduated from high school in May 2019 and the next week moved to Cheyenne, WY.  He was accepted into a fire fighting resident training program while obtaining his fire science degree. He is really enjoying what he is doing!  Kathryn is a junior and for the first time since first grade is transitioning from home school.  She will now be attending a local Christian school. So, we have gone from six of us full time (Chris worked from home) to just Kathryn and me at home.  We sure do miss the boys and truly do treasure every moment we get with them!  Our lab Ike is the lone male in the home now... crazy!! 

Today, Friday, September 13th, is a significant day in many ways.  It was the day that Chris and I met in 1991 in Washington, DC.  We were at a softball team BBQ. I looked across the backyard and thought, "Wow" that guy looks just like Tom Cruise... he was so handsome :). Twenty-seven years later, it was the day that we held his funeral and put his body to rest.  Now, one year later we remember Chris on yet another Friday, September 13th. We miss him dearly and we love him more than we could ever express.  We miss his passion, intentionality, humor, love, wisdom, guidance, leadership, insight, forethought, voice, and his presence in our home to name a few.  He made a huge impact in our lives and will always be remembered, not forgotten.

One of Chris' favorite sights was sunsets.  I thought I would share one of the last sunsets we had together as we were out on a walk with him.  You can see in the picture he is off on the left on the scooter he rode, Kathryn is beside him.   The Lord has provided many wonderful sunsets over this past year as a wonderful reminder and blessing of His faithfulness and goodness to our family over this year.   Soli Deo Gloria