Dear Amy and Family, I have thought of you and prayed for you many times. Your description of the grief of losing a spouse is exactly the way I have described it. With the departure of each child that follows there is a magnified grief to that loss when you go from a household of all present to emptying. It seemed the quiet was deafening at times. I pray that you continue to find in new ways how much your heavenly father loves you and is a husband to the widow and a father to the fatherless. I’m so sorry as it still remains hard when you miss the one with skin on him to hold you. Be wrapped in God’s love and comfort. He has you. One day He will wipe all of our tears away. Much love and prayers, Ramona Keller

Thank you for your candid words on grief. Chris made an indelible marker on the lives of Jason and I. I am so thankful for a loving God that promises to walk with us through trials. And thank you for your family update, the amount of change in one year makes me breathless, and so I am thankful to lean on His truths for strength.

Amy,
We continue to pray for joy for you and your family. So many changes in your life- and I suspect you are a much better sailor than you give yourself credit for! Thanks for posting how you and the kids are doing. Amy

Your husband will always be remembered. I often think it’s odd that I think more Chris sometimes than my deceased grandparents. Then I think...it’s not odd at all...it’s a testimony to the impact that he had on me and others I adore. I share in your grief and gratitude. We live a turbulent life but we get to witness a new sunset every day to remind us of the hope for tomorrow. I love you Amy and your Savior does too. With Him, friends and family you will not drown in rough waters no matter how rough the sea is. Lean on all three. Hugs!!

I think of you and your family often and send a prayer. Hard to believe it's been a year. Can't imagine how tough it has been but you gave me a good idea with your eloquent words. Much love your way. -Rick and Becky Valentine

This grief it is a wild ride isn't it. Much love to you.

Dearest Westlake Family,
This past Sunday evening, your family's presence was so alive as we were all talking about Chris and what he did last year. Do you remember? Chris jumping up, even with the tube in his throat, running to the center of the room, cranking up the music and teaching all the kids to Limbo? And this year, all of the adults were sedately sitting at the tables while the kids were gathered on the floor when what do you suppose happened... suddenly they all jumped up, turned up the music and ended the evening with a wild and hilarious game of Limbo for Chris. Your beautiful family was so present for all of us in that moment. Everyone in the room was remembering you all. Chris' laugh from the back of the theater, his willingness to pitch in wherever there was a need, your family's strength, passion, and joy for everything you put your attention towards. I am beyond grateful for the time we have all spent together goofing off over the years. Thank you for including our group in a portion of your lives. We adore you and Chris lives on in these moments and is spoken about with joy and deep admiration, I assure you.
Much love to you all.

Dearest Amy,
I can’t begin to imagine the depth of grief that you have experienced over the last year but I can say that time and faith will soften the pain. You deserve happiness and Chris would want that for you. Cherish your memories and live and love in the present. Always try to find the silver lining no matter how small it may be. It is what keeps you grounded and makes the present better and the future bright. Love to you and your family. Kathleen.

Thank you, Amy. I can fully understand and feel the depth of aloneness you (and Kathryn) must feel in a house that, without your sons, husband and dad, can't help but feel very, very empty at times.

I understand and feel it in a similar way (but not at all the same) when the house is empty of all family members for a lengthy period of time - but for me, right now, it is just for a period of time. For you two it is much longer.

It is a very hard time I know.

I have a friend who lost his wife last year and with no children he finds himself trying to find himself, to find out who he is without his beloved wife and friend. He eventually sold his house - after renting some rooms to friends - because, I think, it wasn't the same for him without her, and without her, he had no anchor in that house or even in Bozeman.

Of course, you have Kathryn and she has you so that is very good.

I have found in grief and loss or just an emptiness, having and expressing Gratitude is a true lifesaver.

Being grateful just to breathe in the air, to walk on the grass, to see the sunset and feel the warmth of the sun. Gratitude can bring us new life and hope. It makes us humble for what we have and what God has given us, and it can give us respite from pain, lessen the feeling of self-pity and gives us some courage to love and to help others who find themselves in similar situations.

However, I found it isn't enough just to think and feel gratitude. You have to express it with your voice. Even at times give loud fiats to God and the Universe: "Here O Universe I AM Grateful! Thank you O God for everything!" And I repeat that a number of times, even every day. It really helps in getting rid of the victim consciousness over which other feelings can easily ride in on.

Of course, there is also forgiveness. We must forgive Chris- and God - and giving gratitude will show that forgiveness is a bridge that must be crossed as well.

You are strong, Amy. God does not give us any test we cannot pass. He did not give a test Chris could not pass and he does not give a test that you and Kathryn can't pass either.

Time will heal. Forgive. Be Grateful for what you have, and had, and the Lord's strength will fill your soul, your heart and your home. In time. Happiness will find you again - and more and more as time moves on.

God Bless.
I will pray for you and Kathryn very often.

Michael Behr

A year, seems impossible. Amy you have been in my prayers so often. I treasure the times we shared at Reno Integrative Med Center, the many deep and Christ filled discussions we had. Chris taught me so much and I will always appreciate those lessons. I will keep your family in my thoughts and prayers always trusting in our Lord Jesus Christ to watch over you. I think of you always when I read the Tender Mercies book you and Chris gifted me. Keep your eye on the prize and that life raft will find safe harbor. Hugs, Sharon