Re-entry. I have tried to be honest in these writings, sharing the ups and downs. As the months pass, there is temptation to act as if life has found a tempo that is somewhat “normal” or daily.  Honestly, I sometimes wonder how many months can this story stay interesting if life feels simply normal and how nice it would be to be boring? .After returning from the last two weeks of travel, I can see that our life is not normal, but actually quite extra-ordinary.  I’m not sure if it was because I had grown accustomed to the abnormality of our life or if my time away impacted Carl’s ability to feel more normal.  All I know is that Carl seemed well while I was gone, and when I returned he seemed sad with life for two days. I actually shouldn’t say it was two days because it was more like two mornings or deep sadness, with things getting better through the day. I felt guilty I had left him and at the same time grateful for having had some time in the larger world. He still is supportive of me going and does not blame me. I try not to blame myself. Morning worships held us his week as we found our way forward. 

Upon reflection, I feel very convinced that Carl spending hours and days alone are still not good for him (even though he can endure it) and that it is important to have daily accompaniment that is loving and kind when I am not here. I am not sure if he agrees with me 100%, but I think we both are aware that something didn’t quite work with this last trip, which didn’t really express itself until I returned. I am glad to say that I won’t have this much back to back travel again and I think that is good. 

I can write today because the fog is lifted a bit in the house. I walked around with sage burning to support the shifting of energy — and yes, I am one of those Latinas who uses sage. We also went out today to celebrate the 21st anniversary of the Sacramento World Peace Rose Garden, which included a multicultural, multireligious, multigenerational gathering (which my Mom and her husband TJ organized). Carl was one of the peace dove holders (and releasers). The day was happy as we sat under the large old trees and partook in the celebration. 

Tomorrow we hope to check on the bees and perhaps add the honey box on top of the brood box. We are hoping that the happy bees are ready for a second story. I am hoping to do some gardening as well. We have some fun things to do.