Bee-bell-y-bees. Everything new causes feelings for anxiety, but we are doing it anyway.

For the first time since the accident (8 months ago), we  attended a large conference — the Othering and Belonging conference in Oakland — which caused me some stress at first (as I worried if it was too much for Carl) and then became enjoyable once I realized that Carl was happily engaging in it. We went in person for some of it with Laura and Sandy, which brought us both some comfort. Some of it felt joyous and celebratory, which was good for the heart.  Overall it was an experiment that seemed to work. Carl even used BART to go to his optometry appointment and then to the conference on his own. He was able to use his phone to navigate the walking pieces. He doesn’t completely realize how much ability is coming back, but it is happening slowly anyway. 

The other exciting element of the week was that we picked up our brood of bees late on Thursday night and Carl expertly moved them to the bee hive on Saturday, while I filmed with amazement (and in my bee suit!).  I am trying to figure out how to edit the video now and hope to post it on YouTube at some point. The bees seem to be happy in their new home and Carl definitely knew what he was doing.  “Do you know how to make the smoker work?” I ask. He kind of describes the process, seeming to search for the words and process. But when it came time to do it, he easily lit it, had it smoking and used it with the bees with great finesse.   The whole adventure has been such a joy so far. Thank you Tonda, Issa and friends for the amazing gift and Joe for helping build the flow hive. 

Meanwhile, the garden is growing with enthusiasm. My therapist these days are the flowers, weeds, bird song, and trees. I am trying to decide if I should continue with Pilates or find another activity. And, I am preparing (Carl too) for me to travel, first to Pennsylvania to see my youngest, Andres, graduate with his bachelor’s degree (pre-med, which was no easy task), then back to Bay for 3 days and then off again to Geneva for work with the Quaker UN Committee. Both Carl and I feel a bit anxious thinking about it. I know we need to learn to ebb and flow again - together and apart and then together again.  My job requires travel and much is coming in the months ahead. We will get some practice in the weeks ahead and fortunately, we  will have help. Carl’s Aunt Maggie will come for the first trip and Joe will be around for the second trip. 

And, the last piece of exciting news is that Carl was asked by the local library to do some volunteer work two to three days a week from 2-4pm. The local librarian has been a blessing to Carl from the beginning, sharing with him her own journey of recovery from a TBI. I told Carl that now he will start being a Library Chaplain with her. He smiles with some wonderment. He is  feeling ready to contribute and looks forward to begin doing some meaningful work outside the house. Poco a poco he steps into new spaces and I continue to watch with gratitude.