I'm once again getting frustrated. Getting thrown around from doctors, and don't get me wrong because they are listening, but one says it's a cardiology issue, cardiology will say it's and endocrinology issue, endocrinology will say it's a rheumatology issue, and so on. So close, but so far still.

My heart rate is still resting around 115-120. Jumps up to between 125-175 just from standing up and walking. Blood pressure and blood sugars are still crazy high. My endocrinologist is talking about putting me on insulin. 

The other day, I fell down the stairs. An hour later I woke up not understanding where I was, and realized after I fell, I passed out on the ground and was there for an hour. Just now, I went to stand up and fell in my garage and scraped myself up. I am weak. My legs don't hold me. I can hardly wash my hair in the shower because my arms get weak and start to hurt. I keep cutting my hair to make it easier, and it kills me because I grew out my hair for so long. I keep hurting myself by falling. Which causes cuts which cause infections. I'm still getting infections weekly. My brain is often very foggy. I want to be healthy. I want to be better. But tonight, I am breaking down. I cannot feel my left foot from my fall, my right arm is so scraped up that all I feel is pain. (Story of my freaking life) I can't move my right arm well. 

How many more years can I advocate for myself before they find out what's causing everything? I have several diagnoses, but there is a bigger root cause somewhere. I'm so tired of pain and being sick. Please God, either heal me or take me.