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Apr 28-May 04

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I had my second PET scan done on Monday. This is the one that was done because of some suspicious activity in my first PET scan, post treatment. I did not get the all-clear before. But today I did.

CANCER FREE.

No signs of anything. No suspicious activity. Physically, the site of the tumor, my neck etc., look as good as the doc could hope for, in his words. And the scan results are the same. All clear.

It's been a hell of a month or two leading up to this. As I got closer to the scan I had to try harder and harder to not let it dominate my thinking, and to assume the worst. I've had my share of bad news this past year so why was this round going to be any different? I was prepared for bad news. Expecting it, actually. But not today. Cancer free!

I'm a bit of a mess right now, coming out of all this. I will remember today as much as I remember the diagnosis. I had a hard time standing up after the conversation with the doctor. And I wanted to hug everyone. It was surreal. 

I'll never be totally free of this. I'll always have the worry and the possibility of it coming back. I also have the pleasure of some side effects to remind me daily. No saliva, the occasional migraine, and some serious scar tissue build up in my neck. But those are nothing, really. I'll take that and a cancer free scan every time. And what I do have, at least for today and for a while, is the knowledge that I am cancer free. I am officially a cancer survivor. 

Going forward I get a CT scan every six months and I have to see an ENT and my kidney doc regularly as well. This is routine from now on, and fine with me. 

Oh, and I had my second covid vaccine today. Overall a good day!

Fuck cancer. Happy St. Patrick's Day everyone. This irish guy is going to go back to work for a few more hours tonight and then have a peaceful, happy sleep.

Thank you for all the support, concerns, and prayers from all of you. 

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