Ashley’s Story

Site created on June 23, 2022

To the friends and family of Ashley Cook,

We are not sure where to begin.

 On Tuesday, June 14th, Ashley, her son Bodhi, and a friend visited a horse stable where the friend boards her horse.  After not feeling well she decided to rest on a bench outside the barn and allow Bodhi and her friend to visit the horses within the barn.  Upon returning to Ashley they found she had fallen and suffered injuries to her face and head.  911 was called and an ambulance quickly brought her to Regions Hospital in Saint Paul intubating her along the way to ensure consistent breathing.  Upon arriving the initial assessment suggested that she may have suffered a seizure causing the fall and subsequent head injury.  The stable quickly located security camera footage confirming the initial assessment and further providing evidence of a Grand Mal seizure.

Ashley spent the next couple of days in and out of consciousness but slowly making progress to the point of reasonable communication by Friday.  Ashley’s first visit included a CT scan, MRI, spinal tap, an hour long EEG, an Angiogram from her inner thigh to the arteries that support the brain and numerous other tests.  Without any reasonable cause identified, and several blood tests pending, the hospital thought her well enough to return home and continue the medical process as an outpatient.  The first day was rough with several new personality traits evident.  A sleepless night with possible hallucinations drifted into a better, but far less active Sunday.  Monday morning came with signs of significant deterioration and at times the inability to fully communicate.  Shortly after noon Heidi was forced to call 911 as she feared increasing signs of possible seizure or pre-seizure activity.  Paramedics arrived and once again brought her via ambulance to the Regions Hospital Emergency Room.

From the ER Ashley was admitted to her own hospital room around 9pm after spending the afternoon in the ER as the medical team continued to increase and adjust medications in an effort to stop ongoing mini seizures.  

Today is June 23rd which marks the forth day of her second visit.  I regret to write that each passing day has brought reduced capacity to the point where Ashley is currently completely unresponsive.  She has been maintaining a 100degree+ fever without any sign of a bacterial or viral infection.  She has undergone a new round of CT scans, this time over the majority of her body.  She has had a second MRI as well as a second spinal tap and an EEG lasting over 24 hours.  Daily and sometimes hourly blood tests and numerous other pricks and pokings.   All have come back clear from the standpoint of masses (tumors), brain bleeds, signs of a stroke, and infection of any kind.  “The good news”, as we are frequently told, is that they haven’t found any of those difficult things.  The “bad news”, we are nowhere closer to understanding what is causing the seizures or Ashley’s descent into total isolation with the inability to communicate no matter what the stimulus.  Further positive news is that the anti seizure medicine has proven effective and no seizures are evident.

The “Infectious Disease” Doctor has expanded their search beyond normal expectations into infections rarely seen.  The Primary Physician has obtained permission from the Neuro Doctors to move forward with steroids in an attempt to reduce inflammation while we wait for the Neurologists review of test results that could point towards an auto-immune complication. 

It goes without saying that we treasure your thoughts and prayers.  We will offer updates as new information becomes available.  

Sincerely,

Heidi and Chad

Newest Update

Journal entry by Chad Zawacki

This will be our last update to Ashley’s CaringBridge site.  I was not supposed to write Ashley’s finale’, and yet, here we are.  It is an injustice that I am not able to personally thank each and every one of you for your support, messages, calls, meals, gifts for Bodhi, tear felt hugs and all other manner of love and empathy.  Please accept this as our heart felt Thank You.  Thank you to all who, in spite of treacherous driving conditions, were able to join us at Ashley’s visitation and/or Celebration of Life.

As Ashley was discharged from Regions Hospital in the days following her initial grand mal seizure in the middle of June, she intensely asked Heidi to remind her to get a print of Bodhi’s hand when they arrived at home.  Ashley intended to make copies that would be distributed to each member of the medical team that had been there for Ashley with the caption “Thanks for fixing my Mom so that I can hold her hand again, Love Bodhi”.  That moment of unvarnished thankful clarity defined Ashley, this was her wiring.

To close this journey I would like to take the creative liberty of signing off from Ashley’s perspective.  To give her the opportunity to thank you and perhaps say a couple of things she would have had she had the chance.  Her personally writing her own CaringBridge closing is what we had envisioned, what we had prayed for, but there is another plan afoot and it must have very important responsibilities that only Ashley can complete.


“Wow!  I have amazing family and friends!  Thank you so much for being there for my family and myself on this difficult journey.  I am so sorry that there were times that you worried, and also for the painful moments that you endured.  For those of you I have not had the chance to meet, I’m sorry the opportunity never presented itself.  For those that knew me well, I hope you know that my relationship with you meant the world to me, it gave my life color, it made starting each day a new and exciting adventure.  While I’m no longer able to express these thoughts to you personally I would ask that you carry my memory and our time together with you always.  

Please forgive me for the times I was impatient, for the times I was quick to anger, in all these cases I would like a “redo”, but unfortunately I am simply only able to ask for your forgiveness.  Please forgive me for the things I failed to say and for those things I failed to do and please know that despite my human failings I always had your back and knew that you had mine.  

Mom, I love you…..  Thank you for being my mother and for teaching me how to be one.  Grandma Kay, I love you too.  Thank you for being the best Grandmother and roommate a Granddaughter could have.  Thank you both for giving me a great life!

While I may have gone on without you, I eagerly await the day we are reunited.  I do have one request of each of all of you, please do not miss an opportunity to tell Bodhi how much his Mother loves him.  I’m sorry I had to leave so soon but I will be watching from above.  

‘Play your cards right!’  I look forward to celebrating all of your arrivals!  

Love you all very much,

Ashley”

 

The Fallen Limb

A limb has fallen from the family tree.  I keep hearing a voice that says “Grieve not for me.”  Remember the best times, the laughter, the song.  The good life I lived while I was strong.  Continue my heritage, I’m counting on you.  Keep smiling and surely the sun will shine through.  My mind is at ease, my soul is at rest.  Remembering all, how I truly was blessed.  Continue traditions, no matter how small.  Go on with your life, don’t worry about falls.  I miss you all dearly, so keep up your chin.  Until the day comes we’re together again.

- Author Unknown

 

From our family to yours; Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year

Thank You.  

Love, Chad and Heidi 

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