Visual artist and husband cope together amid rare eye cancer diagnosis

For visual artist Michael Breyette, receiving the news that he had ocular melanoma (a type of eye cancer) has been both life- and career-altering.

“I started noticing weird things in my vision last summer,” Michael said. “In a dark room, I would sometimes see a light trickle go down the side of my eye.” So, he made an appointment with his optometrist, who assured him that he had a common, minor eye issue.

And then one day, as Michael was driving, he came to a stop. He realized he couldn’t see the person in front of him in the crosswalk.

A retina specialist confirmed the diagnosis of ocular melanoma. Michael had a tumor ¼ the size of his eye.

“It went from nothing to everything,” Michael’s husband Eric Masterton recalled.

As Michael’s primary caregiver, Eric immediately took on the role of providing a buffer for Michael.

“I’m of the mind that the less I know, the better off I am, because I’ll worry too much,” Michael said. “So, Eric is kind of the buffer. He looks at things, reads about it, and then filters for me.”

Together, they navigated treatments, therapies, and surgeries. They were also dealing with the emotional fallout of losing friendships and feeling isolated as a result of the diagnosis.

“When you have cancer, a lot of your friends just disappear,” said Eric. “We have thoughts that they feel guilty for not reaching out at the beginning, or they just can’t deal with sick people, or they don’t want to take time out of their busy day to discuss the hard stuff with you.”

Thankfully, one of Michael and Eric’s friends suggested they start a CaringBridge to keep their circle updated and to foster connection and support when they needed it most.

“The hard part is that you have friends and family reaching out to you by text message, you’ve got people calling you, and you’ve got to say it over and over again,” said Eric. “I have to talk to them when Michael isn’t around because I don’t want him hearing certain things, but I also want people to know how serious it is. That’s where CaringBridge came in for us—it’s a central hub.”

CaringBridge allowed Michael and Eric to share what was happening on their journey. It also kept their loved ones updated and their support within the boundaries necessary for everyone to feel comfortable.

In the meantime, acting as Michael’s caregiver and buffer was wearing on Eric. He needed an outlet for release. He was dealing with his and Michael’s emotions, and the daily  tasks that come with caring for a loved one with cancer.

“It’s hard and terrifying to be the main caregiver and not really know how to help,” said Eric. “I’ve reminded my friends quite a few times in our journey that I need a break. We just need to get our minds off this, because it’s on our minds all the time.”

Short ski trips, video games, movie nights, and time spent in their new hot tub have helped Eric and Michael unwind and focus on something other than his illness. For Eric, that self-care is so important not just for Michael, but also for him.

“You want to pour all your energy and your love into your husband,” Eric said. “But then you have to replenish that for yourself too.”

Part of that replenishment continues to come from the love and support they receive on their CaringBridge.

“In this process, everything is so difficult—insurance, your daily life. When you find something [like CaringBridge] that works and it’s simple and it makes things easy, it’s a godsend,” said Eric. “And you can sit and take the time, at your own pace, to write something, especially when words are hard to come by.”

A godsend for not only Eric and Michael but for their circle as well. Eric recalled a recent conversation with a former boss.

“He reached out to me a couple of weeks ago and said he’d heard things weren’t great. I sent him [the CaringBridge] and within an hour he’d written back. It’s all there. It’s easy to find, it’s easy for people to look at.”

The couple continue to walk their journey together, finding humor and lightness when they can. They practice gratitude, knowing that every day they wake up is a gift.

“My favorite thing I’ve said to myself since I was a kid is ‘you are where you’re at,’” said Eric.

Where he and Michael are at is together. Every day, one day at a time.

As for the advice they’d give to others going through something similar? They want to remind people to take care of their health—to be proactive instead of reactive. While Michael’s cancer is rare, it is something they urge people to be mindful of. They also stress the importance of removing the stigma of a cancer diagnosis and letting your community in to connect with and support you.

“Don’t be ashamed to talk about it. Don’t be embarrassed that you have cancer, or that you need to reach out and ask for some love and ask for some humor,” Eric said. “The only thing I can do is make sure Michael’s comfortable and that our friends are around us. And hopefully our story can help other people.”

Michael’s treatment continues, with Eric by his side. And while cancer has  altered their world,  it’s not their entire world. “We have cancer. And we can also have a great day.”

The future is uncertain for everyone. But for Eric and Michael, their great days ahead are made even better by the love they share and their determination  to make it through.