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I am sorry that I missed it yesterday but I am thinking of you !!!!!! I know that yesterday had to be so hard for you and your family. It sounds like Julia lives on in everyones hearts.
Randi
Randi

Glad your having fun in soccer!My son loves it too but it doesn't start here until May

Christmas Without You

The lights are blinking merrily
The tinsel’s on the tree
It sits there in the window
For all the world to see.

The house is filled with holly
And pinecone scents the air
The Christmas cards keep coming
Each one is hung with care.

The gifts are tied with ribbons red
And topped with pretty bows
I’m done with all the details
As far as Christmas goes.

The fire is softly glowing
I think about your touch
But Christmas isn’t Christmas
I miss you oh, so much.

If I could have just anything
My Christmas wish would be
To wake up in the morning
And find you here with me.

Staring at your picture
I long to be set free
Tonight the tears are streaming
As I hold it next to me.

Flakes of snow swirl through the air
I’m braced for stormy weather
I wait for brighter days ahead
When we can be together.

So hold a place in heaven
Someday when life is through
I’ll be the Christmas angel
Who shares this day with you.


MY CHRISTMAS ANGEL

I know it's been like forever since I've visited you.
I have just been so busy.
But I think of you always.

Always here for you

To Angel Butterfly Juila & Family:

Enjoy it!,

I thought I would stop by and say

Plus I had to let you know that I'm thinking of you always.

Hi Judy,
Just stopping by to say hello. I come and check out your page to see how your feeling so I hope things are going "ok". Thinking of you.
Randi
(Kody's grandma)
~Kody's Page~


Randi <Randiscan@aol.com>
PIttsburgh, Pa - Friday, June 10, 2005 7:57 AM CDT

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Hey Judy,
Just stopping by to say Hello. Hope you are having some better days.
Love, Mary <MaryKitchen@TumbleweedFoundation.org>
- Sunday, June 5, 2005 8:42 AM CDT

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Hi Judy,
I am sooo sorry I have not signed in what seems like forever!! First our computer went and then the move. You and your family are never out of my thoughts and prayers. I hope you are doing as well as you can.
Love,
Betsy
Betsy Kuczynski <betsy-k@verizon.net>
- Thursday, June 2, 2005 8:25 AM CDT

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Judy, Hey girl! I wont mention that its been almost 2 months since you updated. If you dont mention its been that long since ive been here. sorry! i think of you so much! The boys just keep be so busy. and I havent been well. In fact I go to mayo clinic in arizona in 2 weeks. So i have just ahd alot going on ! I hope your days get better. I just dont know how you do it! But I still think your amazing! I wish i had some majic words or something. I wish I could bring jules back to you! But in heaven you will hold her again. I know it sucks the time UNTIL then. I just wish i had answers! but i love ya!
Kim <dakk2222@netnitco.net>
In - Wednesday, June 1, 2005 9:52 PM CDT

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Hi Judy,
I haven't forgotten about you, but "life" tends to get in the way, and has been throwing curve balls my way lately. Just wanted to let you know that you and your family are always in my thoughts. Take care.
Janet H. <jperrirn@adelphia.net>
Pittsburgh, PA US - Wednesday, June 1, 2005 12:09 AM CDT

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Hi Judy,
I haven't wrote in the guestbook in a very long time but I do check your site daily. Hope everything ok with all of you. As always you and your entire family are in my prayers.
Amy <jessibubba@comcast.net>
Scott Twp. ( Carnegie) , PA - Wednesday, June 1, 2005 11:08 AM CDT

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I've been hearing that people can't get into my guestbook I think I fixed it now I hope.Thinking of you always.

My Loving Dad's Site <brurka@shaw.ca>
EDMONTON,ALBERTA CANADA, - Tuesday, May 31, 2005 11:58 AM CDT

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Hello..I haven't signed in a longtime, but I check daily.
Sometimes, I come to Julie's site and is gives me a sense of peace. Even though, I never had the opportunity of meeting her or your family, you all hold a special place in my heart..Just wanted to let you know we're thinking about you. Take Care. Sarah
Sarah Lorge <sarah.lorge@allina.com>
Andover, MN USA - Friday, May 27, 2005 9:05 AM CDT

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My Number 1 Dad's Site <brurka@shaw.ca>
EDMONTON,ALBERTA CANADA, - Wednesday, May 25, 2005 2:59 AM CDT

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Judy,
It was so wonderful to see you on Sunday. I just wish we could have spent more time together talking! LOL! We have got to get a night out - SOON! It is way overdue. Hope the days are starting to look brighter.
Love, Mary <MaryKitchen@TumbleweedFoundation.org>
- Tuesday, May 24, 2005 6:38 AM CDT

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Just wanted to say Hello There!!
Carla <carlaj@zoominternet.net>
Butler... almost Pittsburgh, PA - Tuesday, May 24, 2005 5:23 AM CDT

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Hey Judy - it's been waaaaaay too long since I've signed - I have just recovered (I hope) from the worst funk of funks ever... but you know how that goes. Now, I have Aug.3 approaching but trying to stay positive... All my love *
Tami <tsy2@pitt.edu>
pgh, pa - Monday, May 23, 2005 2:11 PM CDT

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Hi Judy,
Although I don't always sign the guestbook, I check on you all the time. I do hope things are okay, it's been a long time since you've updated and I am worried. I do hope things are as good as can be with you Judy, you're always in my thoughts and prayers.......praying right now that you are alright Judy...............
~~Jennifer~~ <jenifer66@aol.com>
Bremerton, Wa - Sunday, May 22, 2005 12:31 AM CDT

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Hi Judy,
I hope things are well with you. I also wanted to tell you how much admire your family and everyone who supports you. The foundation that you set up in Julia's memory is such a blessing for so many people. There are many people praying for you and your family.
Craig Levine daddy to Elijah <wakbyfaith@yahoo.com>
Pawnee, IL - Friday, May 20, 2005 1:40 PM CDT

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PRAYING that G*D is keeping you in the palm of HIS Gentle and LOVING Hand
Paloma
- Tuesday, May 17, 2005 11:45 AM CDT

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Hi Judy,
I am sending lots of love and good thoughts on this Mothers Day.
Love, Tess
Tess Baker <tndbkr@aol.com>
Fresno, CA - Monday, May 9, 2005 0:08 AM CDT

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God bless you and your family on Mother's Day, Judy. I have been thinking and praying for you all. I hope that you are all doing well and that you were celebrated on this special day. Let us know how you are doing when you can.
Taryn
Grande Prairie, AB Canada - Sunday, May 8, 2005 10:04 PM CDT

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My Loving Dad's Site <brurka@shaw.ca>
Edmonton,Alberta Canada, - Sunday, May 8, 2005 6:29 PM CDT

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Thinking about you this Mothers Day...
Carla <carlaj@zoominternet.net>
Butler, PA - Sunday, May 8, 2005 9:45 AM CDT

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Have a wonderful Mother's Day. Thinking of you, update us when you are ready.
Jessica J
Springfield, MO - Saturday, May 7, 2005 5:36 PM CDT

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www.caringbridge.org/pa/celeste
Tami <tsy2@pitt.edu>
pgh, pa - Saturday, May 7, 2005 5:03 PM CDT

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HAPPY MOTHER's DAY JUDY

May the ANGELS bring more LOVE and Blessings your way!!
Paloma
- Saturday, May 7, 2005 2:52 PM CDT

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<brurka@shaw.ca>
Edmonton,Alberta Canada, - Friday, May 6, 2005 11:52 AM CDT

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Judy-

Thinking about you and wishing you peace and love this Mothers Day. I'd love to hear from you sometime.

Love,

Kelly, Samuel J's mama , http://www.caringbridge.org/pa/samuelj <kellyjnsn@msn.com>
Pittsburgh, PA - Thursday, May 5, 2005 1:03 PM CDT

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Hey Judy,
Just wanted to stop by and let you know I am thinking about you. Hope the days are getting better for you!
Love, Mary <MaryKitchen@TumbleweedFoundation.org>
- Thursday, May 5, 2005 9:16 AM CDT

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Hello Hello Hello!!

I can't believe that it's been so long since i've posted... I SUCK!! Sorry!! Doesn't mean i'm not checking on you or thinking about you or smiling at Julias picture when I look at her and Sam smiling back at me every morning... it's pretty funny b/c there is a pair of cardinals, a girl and boy that show up every so often -- they sit outside my window and just chirp and chirp... yesterday when I saw them i was in my car talking on the phone.. and they sat in the tree near my car and still chirped and chirped away... I like to think that it's Sam and Julia doing a fly by...

I hope you had a fantastic get away weekend! You SOO SOO SOO deserve it! Even though I haven't slid by the guestbook i'm still thinking of you and holding you close in my heart!
Carla <carlaj@zoominternet.net>
Butler, PA - Tuesday, May 3, 2005 4:05 AM CDT

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I read your journals before and I read it again today. I am so sorry for all that you and your family are going through. My daughter Rachel passed from this same illness October 2004. I can relate with so much that you wrote. The tears come without warning. We never know how we will be day to day. It just sucks.
Thank you for sharing your journey with us and helping me feel not so alone.

Angel Rachels mommy
jeanne <crowman2766@aol.com>
king of prussia, pa usa - Sunday, May 1, 2005 6:43 PM CDT

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<brurka@shaw.ca>
Edmonton,Alberta Canada, - Sunday, May 1, 2005 1:33 AM CDT

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Hi Judy

I just want to let you know you are still in my thoughts and prayers.

Since the day I mentioned, I keep running into the morning Bunny. I look forward to it. It seems to give me a sense of peace....a feeling that no matter what happens that day, that somehow it will all be OK.

LOVE & PRAYERS
Paloma
- Wednesday, April 27, 2005 1:46 PM CDT

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Hi Judy,
It has been a while since I have come to Julia's site. I hope you have an opportunity to get your time away, and I hope that time will be a time of healing and hope for you. You are in our thoughts and prayers.
Love,
The Levine's
Craig Levine daddy to Elijah <wakbyfaith@yahoo.com>
Pawnee, IL - Monday, April 25, 2005 2:56 PM CDT

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LOVE BRENDA My Loving Dad's Site <brurka@shaw.ca>
Edmonton,Alberta CANADA, - Monday, April 25, 2005 1:27 PM CDT

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Hi Judy,
Just letting you know I am thinking of you and sending some hugs and warm thoughts your way.
Randi and Kody
Kody's Page


Randi (Kody's grandma) <Randiscan@aol.com>
Pittsburgh, Pa - Sunday, April 24, 2005 10:50 AM CDT

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Hey Judy,
Hoping to see you on Saturday! I miss you! I will try to get ahold of you tomorrow, to see how things are. I bet you are swamped with Baseball stuff! Love ya!

Mary <MaryKitchen@TumbleweedFoundation.org>
- Thursday, April 21, 2005 6:55 PM CDT

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Hello, I was just reading through your guessbook and saw some people from Butler and Pittsburgh. Funny thing is I just asked one of your cooridnators where Eighty four Pa was the other day, and I found out you really arent that far from me. I am now an active volunteer with your Tumbleweed foundation. I am from the Butler area. I think it is a great thing that you are keeping your daughter's spirit alive by also helping other families. I am happy that I can be a part of this.
Heather <thelorenzinis@zoominternet.net>
Butler, Pa - Thursday, April 21, 2005 10:30 AM CDT

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For you parents

God Made You For A Reason

When I look upon my screen
I find a happy reason
the joy that comes to me from you
is gratitude so very pleasing...

What a wonderful creator
that made a friend like you,
He placed a sweet kind person
and gave me lots of comfort too.

A world without your kindness
would be a sad sad world.

But I don't have to worry,
there's no need to be,
because of you I am very happy,
and that's good enough for me.

I've found great people everywhere,
they come into my life.
Just like you, all those others too,
have given me delight.

So I thank God I met you,
I thank him for all seasons.
Now I know for sure with all my heart,
GOD Created YOU for a reason.

LOVE BRENDA My Loving Dad's Site <brurka@shaw.ca>
Edmonton,Alberta CANADA, - Monday, April 18, 2005 1:55 AM CDT

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The Cord

We are connected my child and I,
by an invisible cord not seen by the eye.

It is not like the cord
that connects us til birth
this cord can't be seen
by any on earth

This cord does it's work
right from the start
it binds us together
attached to my heart.

I know that it's there
though no one can see
the invisible cord
from my child to me.

The strength of this cord
is hard to describe.
It can't be destroyed,
it can't be denied

It's stronger than any cord
man could create.
It withstands the test
can hold any weight

and though you are gone
though your not here with me
the cord is still there
but no one can see

It pulls at my heart,
I am bruised....... I am sore
But this cord is my lifeline
as never before..

I am thankful that God
connects us this way
a mother and child
death can't take it away!!!!!!!
LOVE BRENDA My Loving Dad's Site <brurka@shaw.ca>
Edmonton,Alberta CANADA, - Thursday, April 14, 2005 1:17 PM CDT

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Thinking and praying for you always.
LOVE BRENDA My Loving Dad's Site <brurka@shaw.ca>
Edmonton,Alberta CANADA, - Thursday, April 14, 2005 1:52 AM CDT

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Judy,
Just thinking of you today. Hope you manage to get your get-a-way!!! you sure do deserve it. So sorry I had to miss the last outing, looking forward to one soon.
Cathy <copalko@aol.com>
- Wednesday, April 13, 2005 12:24 AM CDT

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I just wanted to let you know I was thinking of you today.
Tina & Lance www.caringbridge.org/md/lance <lneonkia@comcast.net>
- Monday, April 11, 2005 6:22 PM CDT

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Hi Judy,
Haven't signed for a while, so wanted you to know that I still check on you & think of you lots.
Weekend getaways...Oglebay, Niagara Falls (we went in the spring last year, pretty inexpensive in the off-season), Deep Creek Lake, Conneaut, shoot...I have a Pittsburgh weekend getaway book somewhere! Let me know if you need more ideas, I'll try to find it. :-)
Hugs & love,
Cary (Sofie's mom!)
C Snyder <snyder8@verizon.net>
Pittsburgh, PA - Friday, April 8, 2005 9:13 PM CDT

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Dear Judy,

I have been reading your thoughts for some time now and have even gone back and read the entire journal from the beginning. I was connected to Julia's page through knowing the Levine family. I wanted you to know you have become someone who I think about often(and your family) and pray for. You are an amazing woman of courage and faith, even though I am sure you don't always feel that way. Thank you for being real and honest in your journal, it is an inspiration for us all to connect to how we really feel.

All your children are so beautiful, I love the pictures of the kids with Julia. That Justine has quite the smile! My 11 month old daughter is named Julia as well, I think that name resembles a girl who is innocent, sweet and beautiful.

Thanks for being a "friend" to me,
Jessica
Jessica J <donnyandjessica@mchsi.com>
Springfield, MO - Friday, April 8, 2005 2:57 PM CDT

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LOVE BRENDA My Loving Dad's Site <brurka@shaw.ca>
Edmonton,Alberta Canada, - Thursday, April 7, 2005 1:03 AM CDT

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Judy
I'm thinking of you and still Praying. Your brother will be in my thoughts and prayers also. In addition to having similar emotions, I bet you and your brother have an intuitive connection also.

I hope you don't mind Judy if use the guestbook to say a little something to Arabella.

Arabella Honey
I Pray you stay as Sweet, Wonderful and Generous as you are throughout your life. You are definitely a very Special girl who also happens to be very pretty. You are an example for children and adults. May GOD forever BLESS your life and send HIS ANGELS to protect you at all times.

Paloma
- Wednesday, April 6, 2005 1:53 PM CDT

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Praying you can manage to escape for a few days. Talk to you soon.
Love, Mary <MaryKitchen@TumbleweedFoundation.org>
- Tuesday, April 5, 2005 11:09 AM CDT

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God bless you and your family Judy.

I have been an avid lurker on your baby's board for as long as I can remember knowing about Caringbridge sites. Your story stays with me and I think of you often. You are one of the truest feeling persons that I have ever "met". You are not afraid to share your feelings and emotions with us all, and that is simply amazing to me. You are a wonderful example to us all. I pray for your little ones and for your family. Your brother is in my prayers as well. I have 2 brothers who are away from me as well and I know what that is like.
I just wanted to let you know that your child is so important to me and I wish that I lived closer so that I could know you better and help you more than just writing in a guestbook. God bless you and your family.
Taryn Carrell
Grande Prairie, AB Canada - Sunday, April 3, 2005 1:55 PM CDT

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LOVE BRENDA My Loving Dad's Site <brurka@shaw.ca>
Edmonton,Alberta Canada, - Saturday, April 2, 2005 4:19 AM CST

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Judy,
Sending hugs your way.... I could not have said it any better myself. Except for mine is not coming out as tears but anger. I am hoping the change of weather will help me. I hope the same for you....

Blessings,
Deneen
www.caringbridge.org/page/tiffanie
Deneen Gethouas <dgethouas@state.pa.us>
Enola, PA USA - Thursday, March 31, 2005 2:38 PM CST

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Just letting you know that I'm thinking of you.

LOVE BRENDA My Loving Dad's Site <brurka@shaw.ca>
Edmonton,Alberta Canada, - Tuesday, March 29, 2005 4:26 PM CST

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Judy,
I check Julia's site every day for an update. It's always so good to hear from you.
When I was going through my grief process, someone callously said to me, "You should be over this by now". It's just not something that can be placed on a time line. Sometimes you just have to fake it 'til you make it, as they say.
Thanks for your honesty in your post.
Pamela Nash <PamNash5@tampabay.rr.com>
- Tuesday, March 29, 2005 11:18 AM CST

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hi Judy and hello Paloma whoever you are.
Yes that was me on Tony's show. Tony invited me to be in the audience just beccause it is spring break and for fun and all of a sudden there I was on the show. surprise for Arabella! But it was fun. Tony is a great person! And Carson Daly is also so nice as is the bachelor guy from the tv show. Those guys were the guests. Love from me Arabella

PS Judy today until Thursday is fencing camp and I ate 2 stoffers spinach souflees last night to get ready and have big energy

Judy, I just read about Justine's mashed potatoes. She is way ahea d of me. I can barely pour orange juice without causing a flood!!!!

Happy late Easter to your family and especially our Julia
love, Arabella


Arabella Uhry (Mao Yue)
New York, NY USA - Tuesday, March 29, 2005 7:03 AM CST

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Judy
The grief journey is different for everyone. You have my support.

I think I saw Arabella on TV today on the Tony Danza show. She mentioned being adopted from China and that a friend of hers passed away from cancer and that she supports kids who are fighting cancer.

Is this the same sweet little girl who has written in this
guestbook in the past?... I think so

I send you Love and Prayers
Paloma
- Monday, March 28, 2005 7:06 PM CST

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HI Judy, sounds like Easter was full of surprises, especially those potatoes...go Tine! Perhaps you'll have to make some samples for the Pirate team Justine. It may help them!
Judy, there was an interesting article in one of the women's magazines get about mom's of some of the Oklahoma city bombing kids, whose lives have changed dramatically like yours has. If you want it, I'll save it for you.
Shellie <khen608178@aol.com>
- Monday, March 28, 2005 1:20 PM CST

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Hi ant Judy,
I just wanted to let you know that I am thinking about you always and I love you! I understand that you can't come down here for graduation but I'll take lots of pictures and send them to you. I'm very excited over prom this year I bought the most beautifull dress. You'll get pictures of that to. I just wanted to send you a note saying how much I love you.
Rae <luvs_angel86@yahoo.com>
Waynesville, Ga Usa - Friday, March 25, 2005 11:07 AM CST

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LOVEMy Loving Dad's Site <brurka@shaw.ca>
Edmonton,Alberta Canada, - Wednesday, March 23, 2005 4:15 PM CST

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Just thought I would stop

in and say that I'm thinking of you always.

See you on Monday.

LOVEMy Loving Dad's Site <brurka@shaw.ca>
Edmonton,Alberta Canada, - Saturday, March 19, 2005 0:19 AM CST

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Judy,
the stress stuff is aweful!!! here last month, I couldn't breath for three weeks. even did my daughters peak flow meter and only blew a 300. the tightness in my throat. then the heart palpatations. empty stomach feeling, etc. eieieieie!! don't feel alone in this. i am a delayed stress person and so are you. after all we have been through, what do we expect, i guess. just wanted to let you know that you are never alone. hugs from arkansas.
lisa www.caringbridge.org/ar/savannah <littleredlch@yahoo.com>
russellville, ar usa - Friday, March 18, 2005 1:16 PM CST

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For you to take the time to help othersin the Greenfield Organized Against Drugs while you grieve so much is totally amazing. You help so many. HOpe help is on the way for you, at least in a good night's rest.
Shellie <khen608178@aol.com>
- Thursday, March 17, 2005 7:31 PM CST

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*hugs* Judy - never thought there'd be a day when I would say, I understand the near-death-type feelings of intense stress... but I do and it's scary. Every holiday I get Celeste a balloon and let it go. I never get Celeste a balloon without one for Julia too... don't really know why but it just has to be that way :))) They're still here with us. Hang in there... lots of love,
Tami, Angel Celeste's proud mama forever www.caringbridge.org/pa/celeste <tsy2@pitt.edu>
pgh, pa - Thursday, March 17, 2005 2:11 PM CST

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Happy St. Patty's Day!!
I'm glad that's the Stress Test turned out OK -- sorry that you've had to have one, though...

Thinking about you!! Enjoy the winter thaw... I think that I am beginning to feel my toes again...
Carla <carlaj@zoominternet.net>
Butler, PA - Thursday, March 17, 2005 11:39 AM CST

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LOVEMy Loving Dad's Site <brurka@shaw.ca>
Edmonton,Alberta Canada, - Wednesday, March 16, 2005 4:40 PM CST

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http://www.islandprincess.org/ButterflyIsland/helloand.htm
hello my name is tracey dougherty, i came across your daughters site while looking thru another.she is truly beautiful.i noticed alot of mentions of butterflies and thought you may enjoy this site i am sending. i thought of you when i saw it. i am sorry for your loss,remember she is always near you in your heart. thanks tracey
tracey dougherty <traceydocx2@aol.com>
collingdale, pa usa - Tuesday, March 15, 2005 3:19 PM CST

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Hi Judy,

Sorry I have lost touch for awhile, I have had alot going on also, but dont think for a minute you are not in my thoughts everyday. I just wanted to let you know I was thinking of you.
Cathy <catherine.opalko@chp.edu>
- Tuesday, March 15, 2005 11:58 AM CST

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Hi Judy,
You are right; only those who have walked in your shoes can understand your heartache, however, please know that I do care, and think of you and your family daily. Easy does it, and one day at a time, girl. You are loved always.
Janet Hansom <jperrirn@adelphia.net>
Pittsburgh, PA USA - Monday, March 14, 2005 12:22 AM CST

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LOVEMy Loving Dad's Site <brurka@shaw.ca>
Edmonton,Alberta Canada, - Monday, March 14, 2005 1:58 AM CST

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Always LOVEDave's Site <brurka@shaw.ca>
Edmonton,Alberta Canada, - Friday, March 11, 2005 2:52 PM CST

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I linked here from another caringbridge site and my heart just broke. Your daughter was/is very beautiful. I know you miss her so much. I am praying for your heart to stop aching so bad. Warm hugs from Texas.
Karen <karen0801@aol.com>
McKinney,TX, - Friday, March 11, 2005 11:38 AM CST

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Judy and family,
Just stopping by from Cheyenne's site to let you know that you are not forgotten. Julia is not forgotten. No it is NOT fair that you or anyone is without their children! Just know there are some folks out here in Texas praying for you!
Sherry Wheeler <frogbear@worldnet.att.net>
San Angelo, TX USA - Friday, March 11, 2005 8:36 AM CST

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Judy,
Me again. Just stopped by to see if you had journaled, and you, as always, have said it all perfectly. It is completely UNFAIR. There are NO words that can justify the way things are. Julia is in an awesome place, but no way is it the best place for her to be. My heart aches for you to hold your baby girl. My heart aches for my daughter to have her friend HERE, not watching over her from above. HERE - PLAYING. You have been on my mind and in my heart all day. I know it does not help you feel better, but I hope it warms your heart even a little bit.
Love, Mary <MaryKitchen@Tumbleweedfoundation.org>
- Thursday, March 10, 2005 5:21 PM CST

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Morning Judy,
Stopping to say Hi, and let you know You are in my heart and prayers, always, and especially today. I love you, my friend. I pray things are not so painful for you soon. I am here as always.
Love, Mary, <MaryKitchen@Tumbleweedfoundation.org>
- Thursday, March 10, 2005 9:15 AM CST

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Always LOVEDave's Site <brurka@shaw.ca>
Edmonton,Alberta Canada, - Wednesday, March 9, 2005 3:10 PM CST

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Hey Jude,
Just cause I haven't visited the site in a while doesn't mean that I am not thinking about you!!!

Love ya,
Judy
Judy Rogalsky <jrogalsky@hotmail.com>
Pgh, PA - Tuesday, March 8, 2005 10:04 AM CST

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Just wanted to let you know that no matter how often you journal..... we're still here for you! I hope this new therapist helps you out... I know the power of an awesome therapist and what they can help you unlock within yourself... I also know what a pain in the ass it is to clean up the emotions as you heal... and I didn't even have nearly as much on my plate...

But with that said.. know that I'm still sending Butler Love over to you, as always!


Carla <carlaj@zoominternet.net>
Butler, PA - Monday, March 7, 2005 9:01 PM CST

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Stopping in to let you know that I'm Thinking about you today and always.
Always LOVEDave's Site <brurka@shaw.ca>
Edmonton,Alberta Canada, - Monday, March 7, 2005 8:23 PM CST

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Always LOVEDave's Site <brurka@shaw.ca>
Edmonton,Alberta Canada, - Saturday, March 5, 2005 1:21 AM CST

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Hi, my name is Tabitha I was visiting my newphews website and came along your beautiful daughter. My nephew Michael Dornauer was diagnosed with a brain tumor and has been suffering for two years now, but he has been a little fighter from day one. My heart, thoughts and prayers goes out to you and your family, you have a very precious daughter. May God give you the strength to carry on in your time of sorrow. May God Bless you all.
Tabitha and Dornauer Family <shrtstuf29@sc.rr.com>
Columbia, SC - Thursday, March 3, 2005 2:34 PM CST

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Hi, my name is Tabitha I was visiting my newphews website and came along your beautiful daughter. My nephew Michael Dornauer was diagnosed with a brain tumor and has been suffering for two years now, but he has been a little fighter from day one. My heart, thoughts and prayers goes out to you and your family, you have a very precious daughter. May God give you the strength to carry on in your time of sorrow. May God Bless you all.
Tabitha and Dornauer Family <shrtstuf29@sc.rr.com>
Columbia, SC - Thursday, March 3, 2005 2:33 PM CST

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So I got home from work this morning and the TV was on... Nickelodeon. Now, my sister was the only one home last night, and I didn't realized that she watched Nick.. but ANYWAY...

Blues Clues is on and I couldn't help but think of a Beautiful Little Girl with a Crazy Blue Hat...

Carla <carlaj@zoominternet.net>
Butler, PA - Thursday, March 3, 2005 8:47 AM CST

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Thinking of you always.Sending hugs your way.

Brenda Dave's Site <brurka@shaw.ca>
Edmonton,Alberta Canada, - Thursday, March 3, 2005 1:04 AM CST

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Hi There!!!
Carla <carlaj@zoominternet.net>
Butler, PA - Tuesday, March 1, 2005 9:58 AM CST

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Judy,
Thank you so much for coming to Hannah's party yesterday. I knew it would be very difficult for you, and it means so much to me, and to Hannah that you, and Justine were there. Remember what I told you. Julia is a part of our hearts, and she will always be there, always with us. FOREVER! Hannah was surprised you left the Unicorn!
Love, Mary, & Hannah <MaryKitchen@Tumbleweedfoundation.org>
- Monday, February 28, 2005 8:53 PM CST

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BrendaDave's Site <brurka@shaw.ca>
Edmonton,Alberta Canada, - Monday, February 28, 2005 2:41 AM CST

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Hey Judy - there isn't a day that I'm not thinking about you. It's been a rough month here too... as you know, Celeste was dx on Feb. 19... the whole week is filled with memories... but we keep going and doing - hanging in there doesn't quite describe it on the days when tears just flow... then having to be strong for the other little ones... at least this is what I've been doing. All this emotion makes me exhausted and then I'm busier than busy... (sigh) Sending love and hugs, kiss the kids for me -
Tami <tsy2@pitt.edu>
pgh, pa - Thursday, February 24, 2005 3:45 PM CST

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BrendaDave's Site <brurka@shaw.ca>
Edmonton,Alberta Canada, - Thursday, February 24, 2005 3:34 AM CST

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Just thinking about you guys... ya know... no particular rhyme or reason and I just wanted to say HEY!!

Forever sending love and support your way... forever blessed by the brief glimpse of the Angel that I was able to see.

I am so sorry for you pain!

Love ya!
Carla <carlaj@zoominternet.net>
Butler, PA - Wednesday, February 23, 2005 7:11 AM CST

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I never knew I could honestly be so touched... I sat and read your story, and looking at the slide show of Julia, and I just cried... I cried for her going through the illness, I cried because she *is* a beautiful little girl, and I cried because she was so lucky to have you as her family... I know the pain will never go away, but the days keep passing whether you want them to or not... But my prayers are with you, and Julia has touched me in a way I never knew was possible...
Tierra <tierra_012683@yahoo.com>
Shelbyville, IN USA - Wednesday, February 23, 2005 6:18 AM CST

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BrendaDave's Site <brurka@shaw.ca>
Edmonton,Alberta Canada, - Tuesday, February 22, 2005 12:51 AM CST

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Hi,

I was just thinking of you tonight and thought I would come over and say hello. On the 14th we released several Valentines balloons, to Cheyenne and many of her friends, including Julia. They are sure beautiful heading up into the Heavens, aren't they?

Hugs from our family to yours.

Roy
Cheyenne's Proud Daddy, Forever
www.caringbridge.org/tx/cheyenne5
Roy Fiveash <rfiveash@wcc.net>
San Angelo, tx - Tuesday, February 22, 2005 0:14 AM CST

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY SWEET ANGEL JULIA, I know you had a wonderful celebration with jesus. Its hard to believe its your 2nd birthday in heaven already , but then at times it seems longer. Im sorry I didnt get here on your actual Birthday, My kids have been sick with high fevers and strepp. Just know that You will not be forgotten. and look at all the tumbleweed foundation is doing for families?? watch over mommy, daddy, justine, Jordan, jacob. HUgs sweetie! Judy, Your in my heart, thought and prayers often.
Kim <dakk2222@netnitco.net>
In - Sunday, February 20, 2005 9:17 PM CST

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Michael found about 6 pennies on 2-18. Thanks Julia! Love you all dearly.
Shellie <khen608178@aol.com>
- Sunday, February 20, 2005 12:05 AM CST

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HEY BEAUTIFUL JULIA,

Oh, I soooo wanted to make sure, make sure I made it here yesterday to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY SWEET GIRL!!!! I know I goofed, but I bet my pumpkin Cheyenne didn't!! Knowing her, she gave you a GREAT BIG BIRTHDAY HUG yesterday. Miss you girl.

Cheyenne's Proud Daddy, Forever
www.caringbridge.org/tx/cheyenne5
Roy Fiveash <rfiveash@wcc.net>
San Angelo, tx - Saturday, February 19, 2005 11:51 PM CST

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Happy Birthday sweet baby girl! Celebrations are always great in Heaven, lots of joy and happiness.:)
With God's love and Blessings
Donna , Chey's mom <rfiveash@wcc.net>
San Angelo, tx - Friday, February 18, 2005 5:42 PM CST

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BrendaDave's Site <brurka@shaw.ca>
Edmonton,Alberta Canada, - Friday, February 18, 2005 4:21 PM CST

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY JULES!!! We miss you sweet angel.
Get ready for all of the balloons coming your way. Joshua wishes you a very happy day, and he told me this morning he would rather do FIREWORKS for you than balloons, but I think we will have to settle for lots of Balloons.

Judy & Jerry ,

We will be with you today, and sending our balloons up to Jules this evening. If you need anything as always please pick up the phone.


Cathy, Andy, Joshua, Nathaniel & Zachary <catherine.opalko@chp.edu>
- Friday, February 18, 2005 8:42 AM CST

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Happy Birthday Jules!!!

I hope you're able to catch all of the balloons you're going to get today! You'd better recruit some friends to help you!! We love you, and we'll never foget you!!
Carla <carlaj@zoominternet.net>
Butler, PA - Friday, February 18, 2005 6:44 AM CST

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY JULIA!!!!!!!!

You are missed so very much beautiful Angel!

Love to you all,
Love, Mary, & Hannah, Katie, John, Zack, & Danny <MaryKitchen@Tumbleweedfoundation.org>
- Thursday, February 17, 2005 11:30 PM CST

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Judy-

I think of you guys every day, and send you hugs and prayers in my heart. I'll especially be thinking of you and Julia tomorrow. We'll send her some balloons.

One day, one moment, one breath at a time, my friend.

Love,


Kelly, Samuel J's mama http://www.caringbridge.org/pa/samuelj <kellyjnsn@msn.com>
Pittsburgh, PA - Thursday, February 17, 2005 8:11 PM CST

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Just wanted to let you know that you and your family are in my thoughts.
Kimberlee <Towbetty@yahoo.com>
Oakland , Ca Usa - Thursday, February 17, 2005 5:41 PM CST

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Happy Birthday Julia

abbie «♥Angel Mitchell♥» <afraser1@tru.eastlink.ca>
truro, ns canada - Thursday, February 17, 2005 12:54 AM CST

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For those of you that don't know, Julia would have turned 7 this Friday, February 18th, just 6 mos. younger than my son. Please send Jules Happy Birthday balloons to heaven for her. I won't set a certain time, do it when you can. Thanks in advance. Btw, as some of you pointed out, Judy and Jerry both had a birthday the end of January. Yes, I had a birthday with Judy. Thanks to those that sent me birthday wishes. You are special to me.
Jodi <sckycujo@verizon.net>
- Tuesday, February 15, 2005 9:10 PM CST

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BrendaDave's Site <brurka@shaw.ca>
Edmonton,Alberta Canada, - Tuesday, February 15, 2005 3:31 PM CST

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I'm so sorry for your loss.You will be in my thoughts and in my prayers.
BrendaDave's Site <brurka@shaw.ca>
Edmonton,Alberta Canada, - Monday, February 14, 2005 3:59 PM CST

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I found your site by checking on Sadiegrace. Your daughter is so beautiful. I wish things could have been different but God has plans that are often much different then ours. You are a strong woman, and I am inspired by your strength, and courage. I can't imagine how it must feel to lose a child. I almost lost my Aleia in 2002 but she fought through the encephalitis. She has always had intractable seizures which I know could also take her at any time but I do what I can and put my faith with God. I will check your site for further updates.



http://www.caringbridge.org/mn/aleia/
Rhonda, Kelvin, Drew & Aleia Dettmer <rhondadettmer@charter.net>
Fairmont, MN - Wednesday, February 9, 2005 3:15 PM CST

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Will there be cake!!!? Happy birthday to all of the Levy's as Jules will send some pennies from heaven to find, I'm sure. You know a $20 wouldn't be bad, little one! Love ya
Shel <khen608178@aol.com>
pgh, - Friday, February 4, 2005 6:33 PM CST

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Judy ~ Oh I am so glad that you posted a message. I know that sometimes we all need a break from our pain and I totally understand what you are saying about Cheyenne. I am just grateful that you are doing as well as you can at this time. Was a little worried about you as I know you were not feeling good. Glad to hear that you are working on your stress and taking care of yourself! I think of you often and pray for you even more!! Happy belated birthday!!!

A Friend in Christ's Love Always,
Michelle Bartoletti Olman <michelle@village.howard.wi.us>
Green Bay , WI USA - Wednesday, February 2, 2005 6:19 PM CST

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Judy,
I imagine from time to time we need to disconnect for a while. I have seen almost all moms and dads do it. So I actually expected it. I remember when all the links on our site passed away. It is probably the same feeling you are experiencing right now. You are not alone. What you have done for Julia lives on with Tumbleweed. I am amazed at the different places I see it mentioned. After all you have been through, you deserve a break. Take care Judy.


lisa www.caringbridge.org/ar/savannah <littleredlch@yahoo.com>
russellville, ar usa - Wednesday, February 2, 2005 1:26 PM CST

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Hi Judy,
I can totally relate to your words....losing Maddie, Celeste and then Cheyenne just hit me so, so hard. Life just isn't the same without our babies.
love you lots,

Lorraine <loralof@yahoo.com>
- Friday, January 28, 2005 0:17 AM CST

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JUDY & JERRY,
Sorry I have not signed in a very long time, NO COMPUTER! I have not even been able to check the site in quit awhile. I wanted to wish you both a very HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!! Hope you a have a great day.

Julia,
Thinking about you alot lately, Joshua found pictures of you last night and talked and talked and talked. Miss Ya Angel.
Cathy <copalko@aol.com>
- Thursday, January 27, 2005 8:21 AM CST

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Judy-

Haven't signed for awhile (Sorry), but I think of you every day. I'm here if you need an understanding ear. Sending you hugs and prayers, my friend.

Love,

Kelly, Samuel J's mama
http://www.caringbridge.org/pa/samuelj
http://www.samuelj.org
Kelly <kellyjnsn@msn.com>
Pittsburgh, PA - Wednesday, January 26, 2005 3:54 PM CST

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Love you, my friend. Wish I could help. Here when you need me.
Love, Mary <MaryKitchen@Tumbleweedfoundation.org>
- Monday, January 24, 2005 12:06 AM CST

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Judy,

I still check this page about every other day. When you weren't journaling, I thought you maybe needed a break from this. Not to say that you will every get a 'break' from all that you have gone through.

Anyway, I just wanted to say that I come here to see that beautiful pix of you and Julia on the front page. She looks like such a little angel snuggled up to you. Thank you so much for sharing her story.

Beth
- Monday, January 24, 2005 11:51 AM CST

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I'm glad that we can help out with Greenfield Organized Against Drugs together. It's a good feeling that we may be able to stop kids from doing drugs. I'm glad that I have a friend in you.
Shellie <khen608178@aol.com>
Pgh, - Tuesday, January 18, 2005 5:40 PM CST

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Judy, I woke up at 4:15 A.M just thinking of you and julia. I could not fall back asleep, SO i just spent time praying for you and all the CB families. I hope your doing o.k.
Kim <dakk2222@netnitco.net>
IN - Sunday, January 16, 2005 10:48 PM CST

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Judy,
You are very much on my mind today.....so I thought I would let ya know!!!
Much Love,
Betsy

Betsy Kuczynski <Betsy-k@verizon.net>
- Saturday, January 15, 2005 3:14 PM CST

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just thinking of how fast (and painfully slow at times) this year has gone by and how much has happened. You are incredibly strong.
New Year.. New Hope
hugs
MB salama
pittsburgh, PA USA - Thursday, January 13, 2005 9:41 AM CST

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Hey Judy...

I was just sitting here at work and thinking about you and Jules... Hope you're hanging in there!

Sending love your way!
Carla <carlaj@zoominternet.net>
Butler, PA - Tuesday, January 11, 2005 1:52 AM CST

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Thinking of you all the time but more than usual today - we set of a balloon for Julia - miss you, sending all my love,
Tami <tsy2@pitt.edu>
pgh, pa - Monday, January 10, 2005 5:08 PM CST

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Judy, This is my first time visiting your site. I came across it from the Tumbleweed Foundation. Your Julia is a beauiful, beautiful girl. I am sure that my Alex is chasing after her in Heaven (even though he is much younger) My heart goes out to you at this time of the year. I lost my Alex on June 6, 2004. He had stage iv Neuroblastoma. He is forever three years old. Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers.
Gretchen Lonero~Angel ALex's Mommy~ <glonero@comcast.net and caringbridge.org/pa/alexp/>
N. Huntingdon, PA USA - Saturday, January 8, 2005 1:40 PM CST

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Judy,
Just stopped by to say I am thinking of you.
Randi
www.caringbridge.org/pa/kodyc
Randi Scanlon <Randiscan@aol.com>
PIttsburgh, pa USA - Friday, January 7, 2005 3:28 PM CST

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Judy B.
I just want to let you know I am thinking of you.
Love,
Betsy




Betsy <Betsy-k@verizon.net>
Pgh, Pa - Thursday, January 6, 2005 1:00 PM CST

---

Judy
I just wanted to let you know you and your family have not left my prayers.

May G-D send you many more moments of Peace this year.

Hang in there

LOVE & PRAYERS
Paloma
Paloma
- Monday, January 3, 2005 11:25 AM CST

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Sweet angel julia, Happy New year with jesus! Its your 2nd with him , and you have greeted many new angels. Be with mommy and daddy and your brothers and sister as they are still so broken without you. I know in the spring you will be all around. Mommy longs to hold you again. and your brothers and sister want to play with you. Your so missed, and so so loved sweetie!
Judy, I know nothing i say helps or eases your pain. But I love you and care about you, I even worry about you. I know how absolutely dreadful the holidays must be without your precious julia. Im so glad you have a huge support system. We are here just listening when you need to vent. love to you all, here is to a healing 2005. at least somewhat.
Kim <dakk2222@netnitco.net>
IN - Sunday, January 2, 2005 10:12 PM CST

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To Angel Juila & Family:

Nater the Skater Gapa & His Sister Meghan who are krrping u and your family in ourpray! www.caringbridge.org/ny/naters_page <gaphouse@yahoo.com>
Lyndonville, ny! ***USA*** - Friday, December 31, 2004 11:56 AM CST

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It was nice to see you the other day. Looking forward to being with you on the 8th.
Shellie <khen608178@aol.com>
- Thursday, December 30, 2004 7:22 PM CST

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Hi Judy,
Just checking in- I want you to know that I hope that this coming year brings you and your family much happiness and the ray of light that you guys deserve. Take Care.
Betsy <betsy-k@verizon.net>
Pgh, - Thursday, December 30, 2004 5:07 PM CST

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My house is filled with angels and butterflies also. In fact, our Christmas tree had nothing but angels and butterflies on it. It's our "Jalen tree" and it was absolutely gorgeous!

Sending love and continued prayers...
Terry Snyder (Angel Jalen's "Am-Maw") http://www.caringbridge.org/fl/jalen <vix207@aol.com>
Royal Palm Beach, FL - Wednesday, December 29, 2004 1:20 PM CST

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judy, I wanted to say Merry CHristmas I know its so hard, just know many many people love and support you and we wont forget julia ever! her sweet precious face makes me smile when i see a picture. Im glad you were able to let go of alot of emotion. It helps so much.
Kim <dakk2222@netnitco.net>
IN - Saturday, December 25, 2004 10:07 PM CST

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I just wanted you to know I was thinking of your family today. and wanted to remind you, how many children's Christmas's are a little brighter today, because of Julia and you, Lyn www.caringbridge.org/nj/justinw
Lyn Wyatt <ddo117@comcast.net>
stratford, nj usa - Saturday, December 25, 2004 6:46 PM CST

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Hi Judy,
I am glad Julia gave you a hug to show you she is always with you. The pain never never lessens. I still mourn for my mother, father & brother every single day!
I hope that you and your family have the best Holiday that you can. You are always in our prayers and never far from our thoughts.
Merry Christmas Julia!!!
Love,
Betsy
Betsy Kuczynski <Betsy-K@verizon.net>
Pgh, - Saturday, December 25, 2004 1:39 PM CST

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Dear Judy,
I have been thinking about you all day, and yesterday, and all week. I just want you to know my heart and prayers are with you, and if there was some way I could make things easier for you, I would do it in a heartbeat. My love to you all, and hope you have a very special day. I am glad Julia gave you that hug.
Love, Mary <MaryKitchen@Tumbleweedfoundation.org>
- Saturday, December 25, 2004 0:12 AM CST

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Morning Judy, Jarrod, Jordan, Justine, Angel Julia, and Jacob. Hope 2005 can bring you peace and happiness. We Love you guys!













Love, Mary, John, and Hannah, and Zack, Dan & Katie <MaryKitchen@Tumbleweedfoundation.org>
- Friday, December 24, 2004 9:15 AM CST

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Hi Judy, Michael and Shellie here. We wanted you to know that we pray for you each night and think of Julia often. Wow how we miss her giggles! Every time we see a butterfly pass by, we say That's Julia!
While giggles and butterflies are not as evident here at this time on earth, they are abundant in heaven. With love and prayers...
Shellie and Michael <khn608178@aol.com>
- Friday, December 24, 2004 8:38 AM CST

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Remembering your Angel Julia and wishing you a Blessed holiday season. You are in our prayers.

Smile Quilts Angels and all your friends at Smile Quilts <smilequilts@smilequilts.com>
- Thursday, December 23, 2004 3:28 PM CST

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Hey Judy!

As the hustle and bustle of Christmas is here with avengence, I just wanted to say Hello and that I'm thinking of you... no snazzy Christmas Cards like last year (hehe) b/c I started a new job and there just wasn't time for that with all of the classes they've had me at... But I wanted to wish you a Happy Holiday... You, your family and OF COURSE Julia are close in my heart!
Carla <carlaj@zoominternet.net>
Butler, PA - Thursday, December 23, 2004 8:16 AM CST

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Wow it has been such a long time since I have written in this journal for you. Do not doubt for a moment that I have not checked on you each and everyday. It was great to see ya, Nathaniel wants to come and visit. Joshua was talking a great deal about Jules the other day. I was in the Kitchen and heard him asking Zachary if he could see her, and of course my lil' guy just looked at him. You know the look. HA HA. Joshua said he missed her and wants will play with her again one day soon. I know the next 2 weeks are going to be extremely hard for you but as you already know we are here with open arms. I hope you have a great holiday with the family and remember Judy, your angel is right next to you ALWAYS. Love Ya.
Cathy <catherine.opalko@chp.edu>
Pittsburgh, Pa - Wednesday, December 22, 2004 3:51 PM CST

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Hi Judy, thinking of you and your family a lot during this difficult holiday season. I am so sorry for the pain. I pray 2005 will bring you more joy.
Love always, Tess
Tess Baker <tndbkr@aol.com>
Fresno, CA - Wednesday, December 22, 2004 9:51 AM CST

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just stopping in to let you know that we are praying for your continued strength and peace through the holidays..
it's finally too cold here in florida for the butterflies but we are keeping our prayer stones ready for them in the spring!
erika collier <erika_collier@hotmail.com>
tampa, fl - Wednesday, December 22, 2004 8:29 AM CST

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Hi,
Just stopping by to say Hello and to say how sorry I am that you have to hurt so bad. It must be so very hard. Julia was absoulutely beautiful and so loved!
Randi(Kody's grandma)
www.caringbridge.org/pa/kodyc
Randi <Randiscan@aol.com>
Pittsburgh, Pa USA - Tuesday, December 21, 2004 9:51 AM CST

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Judy-

Wishing you peace this holiday season, and praying that you-and I, and all the other mamas out there-have some joy in the coming New Year.

Love,

Kelly, Samuel J's mama
http://www.caringbridge.org/pa/samuelj
Kelly <kellyjnsn@msn.com>
Pittsburgh, PA - Tuesday, December 21, 2004 8:21 AM CST

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Hey Judy B.
Just wanted to drop by and say "HI" and let you know that we are thinking of you. As always, you are in our thoughts & prayers especially during the holiday seasons.
Much Love to you and your family,
Betsy

Betsy Kuczynski <Betsy-K@verizon.net>
- Monday, December 20, 2004 11:00 PM CST

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Judy, Your on my mind all day today. So what is up?? Im pretty good at getting these feelings when something is going on. I pray your hanging in there .
Kim <dakk2222@netnitco.net>
IN - Thursday, December 16, 2004 9:47 PM CST

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Sending some warm thoughts your way! Keeping you close in my heart and prayers.....
Carla <carlaj@zoominternet.net>
Butler, PA - Thursday, December 16, 2004 11:00 AM CST

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Judy...thinking of all of you today.

Love and prayers from Michigan,

Stephen, Allison and Angelina's Mom
Jennifer I <ingmankidsmom@hotmail.com>
Warren, Mi USA - Thursday, December 16, 2004 9:38 AM CST

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Hey Judy - wow, we live on some parallel plane in the universe because I've been really withdrawing into that shell of a place too. I don't want to blame the holidays but... darn it anyway, it's rough ! It takes so much out of me to just function, much less be happy... time heals all, right ??? We will get through this, somehow. Happy Chanukah - I bet your house looks beautiful and the kids do so appreciate the festivities. That's why I put this blasted tree up... lol... It's just not too exciting anymore... But by keeping things as normal as possible for our other children, we're doing everything we can (literally) so don't be too hard on yourself - I am also an expert at that one :))) You're the most amazing, honest, true person I've met in my life and yet you probably have no idea how much you have helped me as a friend. Just knowing that you're here is enough for me. *hugs & love*
Tami <blessingsbyceleste@hotmail.com>
pgh, pa - Wednesday, December 15, 2004 1:22 PM CST

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Judy, I think of you so much! and Pray for you during this holiday season. I know you have pulled away for a while, and decided to just let you have time! But know your loved and never forgotten . Julia will forever be remembered in many many hearts! More than you know! and tumbleweed is such a blessing to many.
Kim <dakk2222@netnitco.net>
In - Monday, December 13, 2004 6:44 PM CST

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Thinking of all of you during this very difficult holiday season. You're all in my continued prayers.

Much love...
Terry Snyder (Angel Jalen's "Am-Maw") http://www.caringbridge.org/fl/jalen <vix207@aol.com>
Royal Palm Beach, FL - Saturday, December 11, 2004 7:37 PM CST

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Just passing through to tell you that you are in my thoughts this Holiday Season.
Much Love,
Jessica Wellman
Mom to Angel Kaity

Jessica Wellman <jessicalw@earthlink.net>
Crandall, IN USA - Friday, December 10, 2004 4:24 PM CST

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Just woke up thinking about 'cha... Thought I'd say Hello!!
Carla <carlaj@zoominternet.net>
Butler, PA - Friday, December 10, 2004 4:41 AM CST

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Judy,
Just know I love ya! It was good to talk the other day. Looking forward to getting together later in the month. Hoep we can work it out. Happy Chanukah!
Love, Mary <MaryKitchen@Tumbleweedfoundation.org>
- Thursday, December 9, 2004 6:49 PM CST

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Hey Judy!!

Do what you have to do, Sister! Irregardless of whether you journal here or not, know that there are many many people thinking about you and supporting you...

You are in my thoughts and prayers, as always!!
Carla <carlaj@zoominternet.net>
Butler, PA - Wednesday, December 8, 2004 5:50 PM CST

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Judy -

You are always on my mind and in my heart. I have been hiding in my own way lately, too. I'd love to see you for coffee or a drink sometime. Be in touch.

Love,

Kelly, Samuel J's mama
http://www.caringbridge.org/pa/samuelj
htp://www.samuelj.org
Kelly <kellyjnsn@msn.com>
Pittsburgh, PA - Wednesday, December 8, 2004 11:23 AM CST

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Judy, and family, I am thinking of you during these holiday times. that are so so difficult to families. This year may seem harder because last year you were still numb. So know we are all here for you. Im so glad your greiving together as a family. You blessing so many families with tumbleweed its such an amazing thing to see!
Kim <dakk2222@netnitco.net>
IN - Saturday, November 27, 2004 10:50 PM CST

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HOlidays bring out so many emotions in all of us, but how tough it is for people who have lost someone so dear. You did everything you could for your angel during her life. It's nice to know that she is trying to help you from her special place, to do as much as she can for you.
Shellie <khen608178@aol.com>
- Friday, November 26, 2004 3:45 PM CST

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Happy Thanksgiving Judy & Family. I hope you are able to find some peace & happiness thru out the day. As always, you are never far from our hearts & always in our prayers.
Love,
Daryl, Betsy, Alex & Justin
Betsy Kuczynski <betsy-k@verizon.net>
pgh, - Thursday, November 25, 2004 1:14 PM CST

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Happy Thanksgiving Judy & family...just been thinking of you, we should get together sometime...
Love & hugs.
Cary & Sofie <snyder8@verizon.net>
Pittsburgh, PA - Thursday, November 25, 2004 2:03 AM CST

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*hugs*
Tami, Angel Celeste's proud mama <tsy2@pitt.edu>
pgh, pa - Monday, November 22, 2004 7:25 PM CST

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Hey Judy,
Haven't talked to you for a bit - just wanted you to know I am thinking of you> Love ya!
Mary <MaryKitchen@Tumbleweedfoundation.org>
- Monday, November 22, 2004 10:28 AM CST

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Hi Judy - the stone sounds beautiful... We'll have to make a visit one of these days so that I can see it. They had a memoriam for Celeste on the same day - it was a hard, horrible time... but it's good to hear Julia made her presence known and for that, I know she's with Celeste and friends... we're the ones who have time to deal with now - they're completely free from all this grief. I remind myself this all the time to stay sane. I miss you... we are the busy mamas of the earth... :))) *hugs* and love,
Tami <tsy2@pitt.edu>
pgh, pa - Saturday, November 20, 2004 10:33 AM CST

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Hi Judy,

Wish we could have been there for the unveiling. It sounds beautiful. And the butterflys, wow, isn't that special. Hopefully our dear Cheyenne will have the first part of her's within the next week or so. It was promised this coming monday, but they havn't even poured the concrete base yet, so I know it will be awhile.

God Bless
You are still and will always be in our prayers.

Roy
Cheyenne's Proud Daddy, Forever
www.caringbridge.org/tx/cheyenne5
Roy Fiveash <rfiveash@wcc.net>
San Angelo, tx - Friday, November 19, 2004 8:46 PM CST

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Just stopping by to see how things went Judy. I’m so glad you had the support you needed during this very difficult time. I was outside the other day, not at the cemetery but here at my house. I was gloomy and feeling sorry for myself, and a beautiful Monarch flew right over my head. A bit odd to see a butterfly in November…let alone a Monarch! I’m so happy our babies keep leaving us little messages. I’m so worried about the day Kaity’s stone arrives. I pray I will have your strength.
Love to you,
Jessica
Mom to Angel Kaitlynn
Jessica Wellman <jessicalw@earthlink.net>
Crandall, IN USA - Friday, November 19, 2004 10:47 AM CST

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Judy-

It sounds like a beautiful day, and a beautiful stone. I'm sorry I wasn't there to see it.

Always thinking of you,

Kelly, Samuel J's mama
http://www.caringbridge.org/pa/samuelj
http://www.samuelj.org
Kelly <kellyjnsn@msn.com>
Pittsburgh, PA - Thursday, November 18, 2004 8:39 PM CST

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Judy, I am so glad suday went perfect. I was praying it would, but almost afraid to read the update ya know??? Im thankful that the final things are behind you . And now you can rest easier that her stone is in place. I think you will feel better now. How hard it will be for a very long long time without her, but knowing she is o.k will give you strength. Your always in our hearts and prayers.
Kim
IN - Thursday, November 18, 2004 4:53 PM CST

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Judy,

What a beautiful day Sunday was. I was so glad I was able to be there for you. I love ya!

Judy
Judy <jrogalsky@hotmail.com>
Pgh, PA USA - Tuesday, November 16, 2004 8:06 AM CST

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Judy,
What a perfect day to Honor and Remember the most beautiful, perfect Angel. And to know she was truly there with us - it was priceless. I was honored to be included, and it was wonderful to talk with you. I love ya Jude!
Love, Mary <MaryKitchen@Tumbleweedfoundation.org>
- Sunday, November 14, 2004 9:08 PM CST

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Judy-

I've been thinking of you all day. Praying that you will find some relief in having this difficult milestone pass, no matter how small. I am here for you...

Love,

Kelly, /\i/\Samuel J's mama
http://www.caringbridge.org/pa/samuelj
http://www.samuelj.org
Kelly <kellyjnsn@msn.com>
Pittsburgh, PA - Sunday, November 14, 2004 3:35 PM CST

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Judy - there's a memoriam going on today at the funeral home for Celeste and others who have passed away this year... so today will be tougher than tough but know that my thoughts are with you and that we're both doing things unthinkable only a couple of years ago... sigh... what you wrote is beautiful. Everything I try to write comes out sounding angry these days. It's not where I'm at - just seems strange without my baby. I know that Julia and Celeste are together - not a doubt in my mind. I thank Julia and all the stars that she was there to be with Celeste as she passed on - as not to be afraid. I've had dreams of them together, laughing. Just absolutely laughing.
Tami <blessingsbyceleste@hotmail.com>
pgh, pa - Sunday, November 14, 2004 10:09 AM CST

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Judy, im thinking of you and the family! Wish you were close enough to hug! dont be a stranger!
Kim
In - Saturday, November 13, 2004 8:24 PM CST

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Hey, Judy.. I just came across your website and wanted to let you know that my thoughts and prayers are with you... and big, big HUGS. Julia was so adorable, so breathtaking. I have two little ones of my own and can't imagine the heartache and pain you must be feeling. Again, big hugs.

(((HUGS!!!)))
Lori M.
Ellington, CT USA - Saturday, November 13, 2004 8:22 PM CST

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Just wanted to let you know I'm thinking of you and your family and am sending positive thoughts and prayers your way. I hope you're having a better week this week.
Pam--Friends of Allie <pamela_keers@hotmail.com>
Colorado Springs, CO - Friday, November 12, 2004 1:58 PM CST

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Hi Judy,
Hope this week was a little better than last...
Thinking of you & sending hugs & love.
Cary
www.caringbridge.org/pa/sofiemae
Cary Snyder <snyder8@verizon.net>
Pgh, PA - Friday, November 12, 2004 8:07 AM CST

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Judy ~ I have been thinking about you and hoping that life would be blessing you with more than thorns. I believe that God has blessed you with not only the sharpest thorns, but the most beautiful rose buds that have ever graced the garden! I will continue to pray for the love and light of our Savior, Jesus Christ to brighten your darkest days. I know the following story is long, but I hope it lifts you up.

"The Blessing Of Thorns"

Sandra felt as low as the heels of her shoes as she pushed against a November gust and the florist shop door. Her life had been easy, like a spring breeze. Then in the fourth month of her second pregnancy, a minor automobile accident stole her ease.

During this Thanksgiving week she would have delivered a son. She grieved over her loss. As if that weren't enough, her husband's company threatened a transfer. Then her sister, whose annual holiday visit she coveted, called saying she could not come.

What's worse, Sandra's friend infuriated her by suggesting her grief was a God-given path to maturity that would allow her to empathize with others who suffer. "She has no idea what I'm feeling," thought Sandra with a shudder.

"Thanksgiving? Thankful for what?" she wondered aloud. For a careless driver whose truck was hardly scratched when he rear-ended her? For an airbag that saved her life but took that of her child?

"Good afternoon, can I help you?" The shop clerk's approach startled her.

"I....I need an arrangement," stammered Sandra. "For Thanksgiving."

"Do you want beautiful but ordinary, or would you like to challenge the day with a customer favorite I call the Thanksgiving Special?" asked the shop clerk.

"I'm convinced that flowers tell stories," she continued.
"Are you looking for something that conveys 'gratitude' this Thanksgiving?"

"Not exactly!" Sandra blurted out. "In the last five months, everything that could go wrong has gone wrong. " Sandra regretted her outburst, and was surprised when the shop clerk said, "I have the perfect arrangement for you."

Then the door's small bell rang, and the shop clerk said, "Hi Barbara...let me get your order." She politely excused herself and walked toward a small workroom, then quickly reappeared, carrying an arrangement of greenery, bows, and long-stemmed thorny roses. Except the ends of the rose stems were neatly snipped...there were no flowers.

"Want this in a box?" asked the clerk.

Sandra watched for the customer's response. Was this a joke? Who would want rose stems with no flowers!?! She waited for laughter, but neither woman laughed. "Yes, please," Barbara replied with an appreciative smile.

"You'd think after three years of getting the special, I wouldn't be so moved by its significance, but I can feel it right here, all over again," she said as she gently tapped her chest.

"Uhh," stammered Sandra, "that lady just left with, uhh... she just left with no flowers!"

"Right...I cut off the flowers. That's the Special... I call it the Thanksgiving Thorns Bouquet.

"Oh, come on, you can't tell me someone is willing to pay for that?" exclaimed Sandra.

"Barbara came into the shop three years ago feeling very much like you feel today," explained the clerk. "She thought she had very little to be thankful for. She had lost her father to cancer, the family business was failing, her son was into drugs, and she was facing major surgery."

"That same year I had lost my husband, "continued the clerk," and for the first time in my life, I had to spend the holidays alone. I had no children, no husband, no family nearby, and too great a debt to allow any travel.

"So what did you do?" asked Sandra. "I learned to be thankful for thorns," answered the clerk quietly. "I've always thanked God for good things in life and never thought to ask Him why those good things happened to me, but when bad stuff hit, did I ever ask! It took time for
me to learn that dark times are important. I always enjoyed the 'flowers' of life, but it took thorns to show me the beauty of God's comfort. You know, the Bible says that God comforts us when we're afflicted, and from His consolation we learn to comfort others.

"Sandra sucked in her breath as she thought about the very thing her friend had tried to tell her. "I guess the truth is I don't want comfort. I've lost a baby and I'm angry with God." Just then someone else walked in the shop.

"Hey, Phil!" shouted the clerk to the balding, rotund man.
"My wife sent me in to get our usual Thanksgiving arrangement....twelve thorny, long-stemmed stems!" laughed Phil as the clerk handed him a tissue-wrapped arrangement from the refrigerator.

"Those are for your wife?" asked Sandra incredulously. "Do you mind me asking why she wants something that looks like that?

"No...I'm glad you asked," Phil replied. " Four years ago my wife and I nearly divorced. After forty years, we were in a real mess, but with the Lord's grace and guidance, we slogged through problem after problem. He rescued our marriage. Jenny here (the clerk) told me she kept a vase
of rose stems to remind her of what she learned from "thorny" times, and that was good enough for me. I took home some of those stems. My wife and I decided to label each one for a specific "problem" and give thanks to Him for what that problem taught us."

As Phil paid the clerk, he said to Sandra, "I highly recommend the Special!"

"I don't know if I can be thankful for the thorns in my life." Sandra said to the clerk. "It's all too... fresh."

"Well," the clerk replied carefully, "my experience has shown me that thorns make roses more precious. We treasure God's providential care more during trouble than at any other time. Remember, it was a crown of thorns that Jesus wore so we might know His love. Don't resent the thorns."

Tears rolled down Sandra's cheeks. For the first time since the accident, she loosened her grip on resentment. "I'll take those twelve long-stemmed
thorns, please," she managed to choke out.

"I hoped you would," said the clerk gently. "I'll have them ready in a minute."

"Thank you. What do I owe you?" asked Sandra.

"Nothing." said the clerk.

"Nothing but a promise to allow God to heal your heart. The first year's arrangement is always on me. "The clerk smiled and handed a card to Sandra.

"I'll attach this card to your arrangement, but maybe you'd like to read it first."

It read: "Dear God,
I have never thanked you for my thorns. I have thanked you a thousand times for my roses, but never once for my thorns. Teach me the glory of the cross I bear; teach me the value of my thorns. Show me that I have climbed closer to you along the path of pain. Show me that, through my
tears, the colors of your rainbow look much more brilliant."

"Dear God, we ask that You help us to be more understanding of what happens around us. Help us to see the opportunity for a lesson in every obstacle. And give us a peace to trust in You regardless of what our human eyes might predict for an outcome. Lord, we know that you have to go through a fire to come out strengthened and shiny...and we ask that You protect our lives and our families and our friends and co-workers....those who are grieving, those in pain, those suffering with illness, those awaiting news from their doctor or having tests done, those who might be making life changing decisions at this time in their life...give them comfort and
compassion, love and warmth, caressing and security. Fill them with Your Spirit, Lord...lift them up and cause them to realize "the thorns" in their lives really do serve a purpose. We love You and we thank You, for all that You do. In Jesus Name. AMEN."

Thanking God for the Thorns


A Friend Always in Jesus Christ,

Michelle Bartoletti Olman <michelle@village.howard.wi.us>
Green Bay, WI USA - Wednesday, November 10, 2004 11:15 AM CST

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Love ya Jude! ((((((((((((((BIG HUGS))))))))))))))
Love, Mary <MaryKitchen@Tumbleweedfoundation.org>
- Tuesday, November 9, 2004 0:49 AM CST

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HOw dare that van die!!!???!!! Certainly not what you need right now. Is there anyone out there that's handy with vans that can help?
Shellie
pgh, - Monday, November 8, 2004 7:40 PM CST

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Big hugs for you Judy. I can completely relate with the birthday party. I’m so happy that Julia’s headstone is finally arriving. It has been a long over due wait for you. I know it will be very difficult at the unveiling. My prayers will be with you on that day and all those to follow.
Jessica
Mom to ^^Angel Kaity^^

Jessica Wellman <jessicalw@earthlink.net>
Crandall, IN USA - Sunday, November 7, 2004 10:20 PM CST

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And it's the day before Arabella's birthday, too. We will be thinking of you and your family, as we always do.
Amanda
NYC, NY USA - Saturday, November 6, 2004 6:26 PM CST

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You're having the tombstone revealing on my birthday! My 21st birthday! Oh my. I hope this week has been good to you.
Bryanne Weaver <weaverbj@nsuok.edu>
Tahlequah, OK USA - Friday, November 5, 2004 12:44 AM CST

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Just stopping by to say hi and to see if there are any updates. I am keeping you in my prayers!
Taryn
GP, AB Canada - Thursday, November 4, 2004 4:11 PM CST

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Hello Judy!!

Just wanted to let you know that I'm thinking of you and the family!

Love,
Carla
Butler, PA - Thursday, November 4, 2004 0:51 AM CST

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To Levy Family,
I was looking at the flower for the Tumbleweed foundation that i got from My mother who got it from Dr. Bernacki's office, so i decided to look up the website. My heart goes out to you and your family. Take care
Lindsay Jones

Lindsay Jones <Wickedlidz@aol.com>
Pittsburgh, PA USA - Tuesday, November 2, 2004 3:03 PM CST

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Hi Judy,
Just wanted you to know that not a day goes by when you and your beautiful family are not in my thoughts. Thinking of you as always.

Janet H. <jperrirn@adelphia.net>
Pittsburgh, PA USA - Tuesday, November 2, 2004 2:57 PM CST

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Hi Levy Family,
I just wanted you to know I was here and I am extremely sorry for your loss. Your daughter was beautiful.
Colleen Kennedy
Deptford, NJ USA - Tuesday, November 2, 2004 2:19 PM CST

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Hi Judy
I have been thinking of you each day, and have been keeping your family in my prayers. I have no idea what to say to you, that is why I never post here... but I come and visit every day. I pray for you each day, and for your beautiful children.
Taryn
GP, AB Canada - Sunday, October 31, 2004 10:33 PM CST

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Happy Halloween Angel Julia & Family!
Butterfly kisses to yuo in heaven!
Nater the Skater Gapa & His Sister Meghan www.caringbridge.org/ny/naters_page <gaphouse@yahoo.com>
Lyndonville, ny USA - Sunday, October 31, 2004 11:26 AM CST

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Judy,
I was thinking about you and your Julia and all the other parents and angels of Caringbridge and I thought I would check up on you. Your mood is so much like mine each and everyday. I am angry too that I won't hold my little boy, read to him, laugh with him, cook with him, cuddle with him, etc. etc. I miss my Zach too. Sometimes I just get so angry that I have even screamed at God asking him why? why? why? But I know that he isn't the one to blame. He is giving my child an everlasting, pain and cancer free life. I just wish I could hold him again. I want to smell him and hear his sweet voice. Zach's birthday is coming up along with the much dreaded holidays and I have been a basket case. I am sorry to vent to you but you know and understand what I am feeling and I understand what you are feeling. It is okay for us to feel angry. We have every right. Our babies were taken from us way to soon. They were supposed to grow up, graduate from high school, go to college, get married and have children of their own. Zach wanted to play for the Atlanta Braves when he grew up. He was an awesome 2nd baseman and short stop (and really could play any position) and I truly believe he would have made his dream come true. He was a very head strong little boy and very dedicated at everything he did. I so believe he and Julia and all the Caringbridge children are together, awaiting our arrival. They will have their arms outstretched wide and huge smiles on their faces. God has promised this to us and I am going to hold him to it. That day won't come soon enough for me. In the mean time we have to raise our other children and make their lives as good as possible. Zach and Julia would want that. I am sending you a great big hug and ears and shoulders if you need them. You can call me or e-mail me anytime.
Sending you lots of love and prayers,

Misti Herrera-mother of angel Zach-www.caringbridge.org/nm/zach <dmherrera@pvtnetworks.net>
Artesia, NM USA - Sunday, October 31, 2004 10:42 AM CST

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Hello,
I have found your website through "Cheyenne" and I felt like i would like to share with you, I have never lost a child , I am a mother of 4 but i know that there isn't anything on this earth that could ever compare to losing your own child. I have come very close many years ago to almost losing my oldest son (who is now 19). He was born with kidney failure and required a transplant. I did dialysis on him for the first 2 1//2 yrs of his life and by time he was 3 we had no choice but to go for a transplant his health was felling by the day. He has been blessed to have his kidney going on 17 yrs. Our God is such a loving god even though we do not understand, God has a purpose and
a plan for each and every one of us, he knows when we are going to be born and he know's when we are going to die. Put all of your trust and faith in him, Let God be your strength and lean upon him and not your own understanding trust in the lord with all of your heart and he shall direct your paths Pro:3-5.God's promise to us is to seek him with all of our hearts and soul, he will never leave us, nor forsake us, Let him take your hand and lead to your path, he can be everything you need, and one day in his timing you will be with your precious daughter again, That's his promise to us, he has your little girl and he's loving her and he's holding her in his arms right now, It's ok to feel angry but god can give you peace if you'll allow him to. May you feel great comfort in knowing that your daughter has been set free from that horrible cancer that has took her life and that she has been given a new life eternally through our lord and savior- 'JESUS CHRIST'
Suzanne <suzanne.miller@sbcglobal.net>
Kansas, KS United States - Saturday, October 30, 2004 12:25 AM CDT

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Hello,
I have found your website through "Cheyenne" and I feel like i would like to share with you, I have never lost a child , I am a mother of 4 but i know that there isn't anything on this earth that could ever compare to losing your own child. I have come very close many years ago to almost losing my oldest son (who is now 19). He was born with kidney failure and required a transplant. I did dialysis on him for the first 2 1//2 yrs of his life and by time he was 3 we had no choice but to go for a transplant his health was felling by the day. He has been blessed to have his kidney going on 17 yrs. Our God is such a loving god even though we do not understand, God has a purpose and
a plan for each and every one of us, he knows when we are going to be born and he know's when we are going to die. Put all of your trust and faith in him, Let God be your strength and lean upon him and not on your own understanding trust in the lord with all of your heart and he shall direct your paths Pro:3-5.God's promise to us is to seek him with all of your heart and soul, he will never leave you, nor forsake you, Let him take your hand and guide you, he can be everything you need, and one day in his timing you will be with your precious daughter again, That's his promise to us, he has your little girl and he's loving her and he's holding her in his arms right now, It's ok to feel angry but god can give you peace if you'll allow him to. May you feel great comfort in knowing that your daughter has been set free from that horrible cancer that has took her life and that she has been given a new life eternally through our lord and savior- 'JESUS CHRIST'
You're daughter is dancing in heaven, she would not want you to feel sad because she is happy now, think about the beautiful memories that you have had with her in such a short time It is ok to feel sad, and angry, but at the same time rejoice for you ARE going to see her again... The only way is through Jesus Christ He never changes he always keeps his promises.
Suzanne <suzanne.miller@sbcglobal.net>
- Saturday, October 30, 2004 12:23 AM CDT

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Hi Judy! I found this Page through the Tumbleweed organization and I wanted to tell you I think you are an incredibly strong person and I am sorry you lost your precious little girl.
Angie <angieandpooster@hotmail.com>
Newnan, GA USA - Friday, October 29, 2004 9:23 PM CDT

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Judy, Julia was a beautiful child, and She is a more beautiful angel! I know you must be so angry when you think of the finality of it all. But God Promises you WILL SEE HER ,TOUCH HER, HOLD HER AGAIN! It may seem like forever away but in eternity terms life is a blink of an eye compared to eternity. Hold on to the fact you will hold her forever in eternity! If you dont keep that as your focus you will make yourself sick. I know you can let the memories carry you through. Loosing a child is the worst thing that can happen to someone. You were and are such an awesome mommy! Allow yourself all the time you need to mourn, be damn angry , cry . I would feel all of those things. Your in my constant prayers! Love you friend!
Kim
IN - Friday, October 29, 2004 8:36 PM CDT

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Your daughter was a special little girl who was chosen for a short life, for some reason we don't know. It is not fair but just knowing she is watching what you do, I hope you can find some confort in. I am not a relious person at all and I hope you don't take any of this the wrong way. just know you have alot of people thinking of you!
(((HUGS)))

~Erin~
~Erin~ <moon2000_8@yahoo.ca>
toronto, Canada - Friday, October 29, 2004 9:43 AM CDT

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Your angel is beautiful. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Jennifer Sharnhorst (from Allies MSN Angels) <the_jennifer@hotmail.com>
Phoenix, AZ USA - Friday, October 29, 2004 2:58 AM CDT

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Gosh, I miss her giggle!
Shellie <khen608178@aol.com>
- Thursday, October 28, 2004 4:54 PM CDT

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I feel the same way Judy. At first it’s ..."I’ll never see my daughter again…With God’s help I can handle this," but as time goes on the realization only becomes stronger and stronger. Today I hate that it is getting cold and damp and Kaity’s little tree, which was planted in her memory, no longer has leaves. Silly I know but I just wish winter would not come.
Thinking of you always…Jessica
Angel Kaity's Site

Jessica Wellman <jessicalw@earthlink.net>
Crandall, IN USA - Thursday, October 28, 2004 9:12 AM CDT

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I just learned of your family from Mary, who just joined a group what is now called "Friends of Allie" in honor of Allie Scott who earned her wings on September 13th at the age of 8 months and 27 days.

Julia was a beautiful little girl. How wonderful that her legacy lives on through the Tumbleweed organization!
Terri Klemmer (Friends of Allie... formerly Allie's Angels) <That_80z_girl@yahoo.com>
Monroe, WA USA - Thursday, October 28, 2004 0:27 AM CDT

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You have a beautiful angel
Marlene <mrlnmartinez@aol.com>
El Monte, ca - Thursday, October 28, 2004 0:02 AM CDT

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Judy & Family,

I love the pictures of Julia, she was such a beautiful little girl. I am so sorry for your loss and your continued pain. My thoughts and prayers are with your family.
Tammy Schultz (Allie's MSN Angels)
Fort Worth, TX USA - Wednesday, October 27, 2004 5:15 PM CDT

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Great big hugs to you all there is just nothing to say.
Jim <jim@polypak.co.nz>
- Wednesday, October 27, 2004 3:47 PM CDT

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I am so sorry you have had to go through so much. There are no words for me to say to take away what has happened. Your Julia is a beautiful angel. How lucky you are to be her mom. And you will be her mom forever. Keeping you in our thoughts here everyday, no matter how many days pass.
Abby Kinch (Allie's Babycenter Angels) <abbykinch@hotmail.com>
Lee's Summit, MO - Wednesday, October 27, 2004 2:34 PM CDT

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I don't know that there are any "right" words to say....but I suppose it is better to say something to let you know that I am thinking of you often. There is nothing any of us can do or say to take this pain from you...some days you have to yell, scream and be angry about this. It's so UNFAIR and we don't have a reason. I wil be praying for you as you continue to grieve. Julia will always be with you...
Amy Paule-Allie's MSN Angels <jersey1123@yahoo.com>
- Wednesday, October 27, 2004 11:10 AM CDT

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I am so sorry for your loss. I know that no words can take away the pain, but I wanted you to know that we are praying for peace and comfort for you. Julia is up in heaven with all the loved ones you have lost, but knows that one day, her mommy will hold her again. HUGS and prayers
Melissa McCarthy ( Allie's MSN Angels) <melnjess2002@yahoo.com>
Colorado Springs, CO USA - Wednesday, October 27, 2004 10:07 AM CDT

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I am SO SO sorry for your loss. I said a prayer for you and your family. May God hold your precious girl in his arms once again and you while you grieve.

With love from Allies Angels
Deanna keese <thekeeses@grandecom.net>
TX USA - Wednesday, October 27, 2004 9:56 AM CDT

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Hey Judy...

So as I sat down to cruise my caringbridge kids and check in on everyone this morning, I was checking on Sam and getting ready to leave Kelly a guestbook entry when a Cardinal showed up outside my window in the tree.. The female (Julia??) was quite a chatter and just tweeted away for a few minutes, so I talked to her of course... while she was chatting, a male cardinal (Sam??) flew to a lower part of the tree.. when I asked Jules who her friend was... she flew away; then the Sam bird flew to the spot where Jules was so that I could see him... made a tweet or 2 (true to Sam form.. a bird of few tweets) and went on his way.... It was really cool!! I have only seen Cardinals here once before and that was at the beginning of the summer!

I just thought I'd share my sighting with you! I continue you think about you and pray for you guys daily!! I wish there was more I could do for you...


Carla <carlaj@zoominternet.net>
Butler, PA - Wednesday, October 27, 2004 8:44 AM CDT

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I can say nothing that will help, but I just wanted you to know it is fine to feel the way you are. Grief is like a boulder being turned into a polished stone. It starts out with this crushing weight you think you can never live under. It never ever goes away, but as the years pass it gets smoothed and polished by time and becomes bearable. You never get rid of it, but in time, you can carry it with you and not have it rule your every waking (and sleeping) moment. I always think of rose quartz, a beautiful stone that you can wear on a neclace, but only if it is polished does it show its true beauty. It is almost as if the grief gets condensed so much and the rough and bitter bits are worn away till it turns into something beautiful...the essence of your love for your child. You can pull it out and share it with people or keep it private and think fondly of the past...granted, there will always be sadness but that will become less overwhelming and you do not need to feel guilty when it does. It doesn't mean you love your daughter any less when you are able to get through the day without crying at all and even laughing much of the day...it just means that you are polishing your grief into something you can live with. It will happen, do not feel you need to rush it. Allow yourself to grieve all you need however you need.
Sara <jensenp@spiritone.com>
Sherwood, OR US - Tuesday, October 26, 2004 11:28 PM CDT

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I know there is no words I can say to ease your pain. No one should ever have to feel the pain you are. Julia is a beautiful little girl who is smiling down on her mom. Please know your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.
Peg Poma (Allie's MSN Angel) <ppoma@firstcommunities.net>
Marietta, GA USA - Tuesday, October 26, 2004 7:56 PM CDT

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Your daughter, Julia, was so incredibly beautiful. I pray for you and for your heart to heal. I'm so incredibly sorry you had to say "goodbye" to your sweet girl. No mother should EVER have to endure such pain.
Angie Dotson - ^Allie's MSN Angels^ <adotson@chum.net>
Earlysville, VA USA - Tuesday, October 26, 2004 7:22 PM CDT

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You have done so much in honour of your sweet Julia. You are inspiring. I pray for your soul's continued healing, until you meet again.
Kristen in Canada
Allie Scott MSN Angel
- Tuesday, October 26, 2004 7:19 PM CDT

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I am so, so sorry for your loss. Thinking of and praying for you...
Tirzah (Allie's MSN Angels) <mom2ky2001@yahoo.com>
Keizer, OR USA - Tuesday, October 26, 2004 4:23 PM CDT

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I dont have any words of wisdom for you, but I want you to know that people are thinking of you. I hope you have better days to come.
Cyndi <cyndianddan@shaw.ca>
Allie's msn angels, - Tuesday, October 26, 2004 4:17 PM CDT

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I dont have any words of wisdom for you, but I want you to know that people are thinking of you. I hope you have better days to come.
Cyndi <cyndianddan@shaw.ca>
Allie's msn angels, - Tuesday, October 26, 2004 4:13 PM CDT

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My heart just aches for the loss of your beautiful little girl. As a parent myself, I can't even imagine your pain- It is beyond words. I'm praying for you and I pray that God gives you peace and continues to keep your family strong. I have comfort in knowing that Julia is in heaven playing with the angels and her Grandaddy-

Hugs- Stay Strong and know that you will be reunited with your precious angel again. The next time you see Julia you will be together for all eternity - No more pain and no more goodbyes.
Saying Prayers -
Wendy
Wendy (Allie's MSN Angels) <stroudtx@sbcglobal.net>
Irving, TX United States - Tuesday, October 26, 2004 4:09 PM CDT

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Judy -

I so understand how you feel. Rachel has been really sad, missing Samuel - just like Justine. She feels like other kids don't understand her. Maybe we should get our kids together. I'm sure they could support each other, just like their moms.

You guys are in my thoughts every day.

Sending hugs.

Kelly, /\i/\Samuel J's mama
http://www.caringbridge.org/pa/samuelj
Kelly Johnson <kellyjnsn@msn.com>
Pittsburgh, PA - Tuesday, October 26, 2004 3:56 PM CDT

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I am very sorry for your loss. I can't imagine how hard it must be and I admire the strength you have. I wish peace for your gorgeous family.
Hillari <mizshuckiduck@yahoo.co.uk>
Glasgow, Scotland - Tuesday, October 26, 2004 3:44 PM CDT

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My heart goes out to you and your family during this time. It must be so hard every day. Please know we are thinking about you and praying often.
Meredith (Allie's MSN Angels)
Overland Park, KS - Tuesday, October 26, 2004 3:33 PM CDT

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I'm so sorry you are missing your girl so much right now. I know it's hard to be without your precious child. I hope the pain eases as time goes on for you, but I also understand those "funks" you get in. By the way, she is very gorgeous! I saw her pictures and she is one of the most beautiful children I've ever seen. Thank you for sharing her.
Sara
Fredericksburg, va 22408 - Tuesday, October 26, 2004 2:44 PM CDT

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I know that I can't tell you that I know what your feeling, but my heart does ache for you and your family. I wish that you never had to go through this. I'm so sorry for your loss, and please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers.
Leslie (Allie's Angels)
Whittier, Ca USA - Tuesday, October 26, 2004 2:27 PM CDT

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I am so sorry for the pain you are going through! My heart just breaks for you. I'm thinking about you and praying for you.
Sandy (Allie's MSN Angels)
Las Vegas, NV - Tuesday, October 26, 2004 2:03 PM CDT

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Sending thoughts and strength your way.
Stephanie (Allie's MSN Angels) <amsmamma@yahoo.com>
FL USA - Tuesday, October 26, 2004 2:01 PM CDT

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I wish there was a way I could take your pain away. It breaks my heart to hear of anyone losing a child. I am so sorry! Please know that so many people are thinking of you and praying for strength for you and your whole family. What an absolute beauty Julia IS and will always be.
Karen (Allie's MSN Angels)
Stow, OH - Tuesday, October 26, 2004 1:56 PM CDT

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My heart breaks to read your words of pain. I hope you find comfort in knowing that you have people thinking of you and praying for you.
Many hugs,
Jennifer <jennifer@beadbliss.net>
KS - Tuesday, October 26, 2004 1:54 PM CDT

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Dear Judy and family,
I'm so sorry. I just came across your website, and my heart is broken for you. Julia's pictures are so beautiful. You are blessed to forever be her parents and siblings. I will keep all of you in my thoughts and prayers.

Love,
Tiffany (Alie's MSN Angels)
Tiffany Borner <tkinser@mindspring.com>
Suwanee, GA USA - Tuesday, October 26, 2004 1:27 PM CDT

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Your in my thoughts and prayers........
Cathy ^Allie Scott's MSN Angels^ <sister_2@hotmail.com>
Weatherford, Tx USA - Tuesday, October 26, 2004 12:31 AM CDT

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Hi-I wanted to stop by and let you know that I am thinking of you. Such beautiful photos on the website!
Kelly (Allie Scott's MSN Angels) <kr72@hotmail.com>
Fort Mill, SC - Tuesday, October 26, 2004 12:25 AM CDT

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I, too, have a Julia (baby). I couldn't imagine life without her and am so sorry you have to live yours without your Julia.
I am so glad your other children give so much joy to you.
Liz
Allie's Angels
www.scotthousehold.com
Liz <laliz22@aol.com>
Chicago, il - Tuesday, October 26, 2004 12:13 AM CDT

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I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your beautiful Julia. I will be thinking about you and hoping for peace in your lives until you can be with her again.
Rachel (Allie's Angels) <rmoter@yahoo.com>
Dallas, TX - Tuesday, October 26, 2004 11:42 AM CDT

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I am so very sorry for the loss of Julia , I just wanted to let you know that you are in my thoughts and prayers.
Annie (Allie's msn angels) <kisneydivine@gmail.com>
TN - Tuesday, October 26, 2004 11:24 AM CDT

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I cannot express how deeply sorry I am for the loss of your little girl...just know that I am praying very hard for you and that you and your daughter have touched my life.
Laura*Allie's MSN Angels* <okiemom1068@hotmail.com>
Shawnee, OK USA - Tuesday, October 26, 2004 11:21 AM CDT

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I'm so very sorry for your loss. My prayers are with your whole family during this difficult time.
Lois (Allie Scott's MSN Angels)
NJ - Tuesday, October 26, 2004 10:45 AM CDT

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Judy,
My your Julia is so beauiful! She really is, I am sure she is the prettiest Angel in heaeven! I am sorry that you are temporarly separated from her but please know that one day you will rejoyce and be able to hold her again. May the precious memories of your daughter warm your heart until the day you are reunited
Kim - from Allison Babycenter Angels <KimandJoey2002@yahoo.com >
Memphis, TN USA - Tuesday, October 26, 2004 10:43 AM CDT

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I am so sorry to read about the loss of your beautiful baby girl. I can't imagine anything more difficult than losing your child. I, too, found your site through Allie's Angels msn website. I will pray that time helps heal your broken heart. May the memories of the time you had with Julia help to keep her alive in your heart forever. I also want to commend you on the wonderful Tumbleweed Foundation you started in Julia's honor. I am sure you have helped so many people with it and I plan to look more into it to see what I can do to help families like yours. I will say some prayers that you get through everything and I am sending lots of hugs your way...
Mel <mschultz@i-sect.net>
Bristol, CT USA - Tuesday, October 26, 2004 10:36 AM CDT

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Judy:

Although you don't probably realize this, your strength is an inspiration to many. As the mother to a daughter, I can only imagine the pain and grief you are undergoing at this time in your life. I am so very sorry for the loss, and I know that it will not ease your pain, but I wanted you to know that, mother-to-mother, I am thinking of you...I am praying for you to find peace...and I am closing my eyes and seeing little Julia playing with Jesus. God Bless you and your family.
Rachael (Alie's MSN Angels) <rsoto@nmrs.com>
Goose Creek , SC USA - Tuesday, October 26, 2004 10:31 AM CDT

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I am so sorry about the loss of your beautiful Julia. I pray for you to find comfort in that you will see her and hold her again. You will be in my prayers.
Elisabeth ~Allie's MSN Angels~ <familytwigg@yahoo.com>
Houston, TX USA - Tuesday, October 26, 2004 10:28 AM CDT

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Judy, praying for you. Hope you have a better day today.
Beth (Allie's Angels) <egh7287@yahoo.com>
Halifax, PA - Tuesday, October 26, 2004 10:17 AM CDT

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I'm so sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Jennifer (Allie Scott's MSN Angels) <jcorbitt123@yahoo.com>
Nashville, TN USA - Tuesday, October 26, 2004 10:16 AM CDT

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I wanted to stop by and see Julia's photos, and to let you know that my heart is broken for your family. I am so sorry for the loss of your beautiful daughter. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
Moni (Allie's MSN Board) <momtograyson@yahoo.com>
- Tuesday, October 26, 2004 10:14 AM CDT

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Judy,

Never forget you have people who pray for you and your family as you continue to try and cope with the loss of your beautiful Julia.
Some of us can never imagine your pain, but we want you to know we care.
http://groups.msn.com/AllisonsBabyCenterAngels/welcome.msnw

Carol (Allie's MSN Angel's) <carol@alberts.us>
St. Petersburg , Fl - Tuesday, October 26, 2004 10:14 AM CDT

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I am thinking of you and praying for your comfort. I pray that you have a better day today.




Janice (Allie's MSN Angels) <janicem@bu.edu>
Boston, MA - Tuesday, October 26, 2004 10:14 AM CDT

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Judy and family,
I am sorry about your loss. Julia is such a beatitful angel baby. I do want to share that the pictures of your kids brightened up my eyes. Absolutely gorgeous family. Their smiles are amazing.

I will say a prayer for strength and peace for your family. Please take care.

Leslie and family,
Kyle, Jack and Cecilia
Leslie (Allison Scott's MSN Angels) <ohcecilia@comcast.net>
Harleysville, PA - Tuesday, October 26, 2004 9:42 AM CDT

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I am so sorry about the loss of your beautiful little girl. If it's any comfort, there are many people thinking of you and holding you and your family in their hearts. I wish you many good days filled with memories of your daughter.
Jessica (Allie's MSN Angels)
Burlington, NJ USA - Tuesday, October 26, 2004 9:29 AM CDT

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Judy...you are right, cancer does suck. Your little Julia was such a beautiful little girl. I am praying that God will wrap his arms around you and your family and give you strength to get through another day.
Melanie (Allie Scott MSN Angels) <MINGRAHAM@MEMUN.ORG>
Augusta, ME USA - Tuesday, October 26, 2004 9:28 AM CDT

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Praying that each day your pain will lessen! May Goad be right by your side during this difficult time! Bless your family!
Jennifer "Allison Scott's MSN Angels" <jmoritz6@austin.rr.com>
Texas - Tuesday, October 26, 2004 9:25 AM CDT

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Judy,
I just wanted to stop by and say I'm sorry for your loss. Julia was a beautiful girl and I can't imagine the pain you are feeling. Please know that many people are thinking of you and praying for your pain to ease.
Christy Mensi (Allie Scott's MSN Angels) <christy.mensi@bisys.com>
Houston, TX - Tuesday, October 26, 2004 9:21 AM CDT

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Judy,
You are absolutely right - it does suck. There is no way around that. We have been talking alot about Julia around here also. John got to hold a Monarch while he was out walking the other day. How cool is that? I will be at Sam's service also - hope to see you there. Love you guys!
Love, Mary <MaryKitchen@Tumbleweedfoundation.org>
- Tuesday, October 26, 2004 7:37 AM CDT

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Hey Judy B.
Sorry I haven't signed in awhile. I come to Julia's site everyday. You are never far from my thoughts and always in my prayers. Yes, it does suck royally that Julia is gone. I have never known true true love until I became a mom. I freak when the boys are sick. I can not begin to even imagine how you feel, it makes me sick to think about what you are going thru. It is not fair at all.
If I were granted one wish I would give it to you.
Love, Betsy
Betsy Kuczynski <betsy-k@verizon.net>
Pgh, PA - Monday, October 25, 2004 9:20 PM CDT

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Love ya Jude. Always here for you.
Love Mary <MaryKitchen@Tumbleweedfoundation.org>
- Sunday, October 24, 2004 7:06 PM CDT

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I am not gone, I am changed.
Have faith and please believe me
God did not take me away from you,
He split the skies and received me.
Now...
I am a echo in your laughter,
A reflection in your tears,
An extra thread of strength
To help you overcome your fears.
I am an added ray of sunshine,
More joy for you to share,
A fragrance of the life you live
Wherever you are- I AM THERE
Kim( saw this and thought of you) <dakk2222@netnitco.net>
IN - Saturday, October 23, 2004 10:17 PM CDT

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JUdy, Howdy stranger! Julia is not forgotten but forever a part of you and in your heart, sould, mind, She is forever with you and not even Death can take away the memories. SHe is not forgotten, and certainly touching and changing lives as an Angel! ANd through Her death the tumbleweed foundation was found. and Making differences daily in the lives of terminal children. what an awesome thing to be able to turn her Death and your loss into Love for other families. Your amazing! Please remember Kody Bear as he is not doing well and needs major surgery monday. dont be a stranger!
Kim <dakk2222@netnitco.net>
IN - Saturday, October 23, 2004 10:11 PM CDT

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Hey Judy!!

Just wanted to let you know that I'm thinking of you!!

Sending love and hugs your way!

Carla <carlaj@zoominternet.net>
Butler, PA - Thursday, October 21, 2004 11:20 PM CDT

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Hi Judy, I hope all is well with you and the family. I'm still thinking you. Remember, Julia is right by your side, smiling!!
Angel Caitlin's Story
Aleta, Mom to Angel Caitlin <agunn@optonline.net>
West Nyack, NY - Wednesday, October 20, 2004 8:08 PM CDT

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Hi Judy,
It's been a while since I visited, but I have never forgotten. I still talk about Julia as if she were one of mine. Actually, we seem to share our kids. Tragic disease...tragic loss...sisters in arms, so to speak.

You know, I still don't wear makeup. The tears start out of the blue. the makeup thing was getting to be a mess. i understand the crying at a drop of a hat. next time...feel all us other mommies right with you.

i just realized for the very first time that Julia was diagnosed on Savannah's last day of radiation. sigh! the dates that get stuck in our brains! don't know how i missed this before.


lisa www.caringbridge.org/ar/savannah <m-lhurley@centurytel.net>
russellville, ar usa - Tuesday, October 19, 2004 11:36 AM CDT

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Michael was so excited to receive his package today. He had a pretty exhausting week,and now he is just laying down and tossing one of the baseballs up and down. He has so enjoyed getting the cards and letters too. Today one came from Qatar, Arab Emigrates, and he thought that was so neat. This is a wonderful thing that you have done in your daughters memory. We too put our efforts into "paying it forward" when Michael was diagnosed with his brain tumor. His brother came up with the idea for Boredom Busters, and we have delivered 1,000 boxes of toys, games etc. to 5 different hospitals. Check out Michael's website. wwww.caringbridge.com/va/michael

Again, thank you for your kindness, and my thoughts and prayers will be with you during these times of sadness,but soon you will be able to think about your daughter and just remember the wonderful memories, and see how she lives on in your other children.

Marcie
Marcie McCauley <threesenof@aol.com www.caringbridge.com/va/michael>
Chantilly, VA - Friday, October 15, 2004 3:50 PM CDT

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yesterday a package came to us from The Tumbleweed Foundation and in it were the sweet flowers to honor Julia. The tears came to my eyes instantly... But were soon replaced by joy when I looked up to see Kylie and her three sisters dancing around with their flowers, making them into crowns and singing.I wish you could have seen them. It would have made your heart soar to see Julias spirit dancing and singing with them. It also gave me the opportunity to discuss the fragility of life, not just Kylies, with her oldest sister Tyler Lee. She had never made the connection with sickness and death until I explained the purpose of the flowers and she began to ask lots of questions. We sat and talked about it for a while. I think she feels better now, knowing should Kylies' illness over come her, there are many ways we can carry on her spirit and her love of life. And how when you earn your wings, there is no more sickness, no more pain, and you are healthy, and happy at home with our Lord. thank you for so many things, on so many levels...
www.caringbridge.org/nj/kyliejae
Heather Monica <tenkids2dogs@aol.com>
Toms River, NJ - Friday, October 15, 2004 8:56 AM CDT

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I meant to add (earlier... days ago...) that we let off balloons for Julia - one for her and one for Celeste because I just have to think of them as together. Grant and I got two marbelized pink ones - looked like bubble gum bubbles and let them go over Caste Village... Celeste's favorite place to walk around, get ice cream and go to the dollar store. We didn't even plan on going there but Grant and I decided to go to Hallmark for a balloon for some reason. Celeste always went to that store to buy me 'mommy' gifts for holidays with her daddy... and so we set off two... I've been such an emotional wreck lately to be honest. Sorry for not being in better touch - I think I made myself sick with stress... love and hugs,
Tami <blessingsbyceleste@hotmail.com>
pgh, pa - Wednesday, October 13, 2004 11:07 AM CDT

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Hi Judy - I miss you... having the haven't-seen-Judy-in-a-while funk... and have been sick. What gives ??? You were sick last week :))) argh ! ! ! Thinking of you always. I was at the thrift shop and found a sweater - with sunflowers and a butterfly on it. I have been waiting to wear it until we get together... just thought it was the coolest thing I had ever seen. Although on a lighter note... the sunflowers are placed well, somewhere funny... lol... I will wear it anyway because it is a beautiful image. Sunshine and happiness. Everywhere I go, there are little girls that remind me of Celeste. She l o v e d the pumpkin patch. I have pictures from last year and the year before - she was sliding down piles of them. This was her favorite time of year. Love you,
Tami <blessingsbyceleste@hotmail.com>
pgh, pa - Wednesday, October 13, 2004 10:55 AM CDT

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Judy-

I think of you guys every day. I share your frustration. I hope to see you sometime.

Please thank your mom and sister for the birthday cards for Rachel.

Love, Kelly, /\i/\Samuel J's mama
http://www.caringbridge.org/pa/samuelj

Kelly <kellyjnsn@msn.com>
Pittsburgh, PA - Tuesday, October 12, 2004 1:00 PM CDT

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Judy, Im thinking about you and glad you enjoyed the pumpkin patch with the kids. We go tomorrow. I am not a monring person but will have to be tomorrow. Its EARLY! I cant believe all the good that tumbleweed does, You all work so hard. Mary, becky to name a few are great people. talk to you soon!
Kim <dakk2222@netnitco.net>
IN - Monday, October 11, 2004 8:20 PM CDT

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Just a short hello from me,



Viks
viks <viks@postpals.co.uk>
- Sunday, October 10, 2004 6:09 AM CDT

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Hi Judy,
Just checking to see how things are going. I am happy that you seem to be more at peace. I know things still don't ever seem like they will be right for us. I pray that Julia makes her presence known to you daily. It sounds like you have a wonderful group of friends and family to support. That is wonderful.
Be Blessed

Craig Levine daddy to Elijah <wakbyfaith@yahoo.com>
Pawnee, IL - Friday, October 8, 2004 9:57 AM CDT

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Hi, Judy im thinking of you all and wishing you brighter days ahead, all in time!
kim <dakk2222@netnitco.net>
in - Thursday, October 7, 2004 9:27 PM CDT

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Hey guys,
Just stopping by to say Hello, and let you know I am thinking of you. Hope things are going Ok. Love you guys!
Mary


<MaryKitchen@Tumbleweedfoundation.org>
- Thursday, October 7, 2004 8:10 AM CDT

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Dear Judy,
I’m sorry I have not checked your site in awhile. My life has been a whirlwind since Kaity died August 9th. (MPS Type 1-Hurler Syndrome). Thank you for signing her guestbook. It really made my day! I’m so sorry that I missed Julia’s one year angel date. In a few days I will reach the two month mark since Kaity died. Each day, sadly, gets a little more difficult. The dreaded “reality” is finally hitting me I suppose.

I don’t know how I missed your journal entry about the “Spirit of Avon Award” but I found it today. I also sold Avon for eight years. I was given the “Spirit of Avon Award” after many years of doing a fund raiser for the National MPS Society. Each year the event would get larger and larger until I could no longer handle it. After seven years I really didn’t have the desire to handle it anymore! The last year I held the event we raised over $15,000 for the Society. That amounted to selling over $30,000 (in one campaign)! Can you imagine $30,000 worth of Avon and how it filled my garage? It was a job to say the least...

In your last journal entry you commented on people saying, “"How are you?" "Are you okay?"” I understand completely, but I have to look at it like this...so many people avoided us in Kaitlynn’s final years. They were afraid Kaity had already died and out of fear and lack of knowing what to say, they avoided us completely. Many people still avoid us, but at least a few are approaching us to ask about our welfare. I would rather have their support than for them to turn around as if they did not see us. Being avoided is 10 times worse! :(

I was sorry to read about the trouble with Julia’s stone. How very sad. I hope it comes soon for you. We ordered Kaity’s a few weeks ago and I hope it arrives in time for her birthday in April.

You are in my thoughts and prayers always,
Jessica
Mom to ^^Angel Kaitlynn^^

Jessica Wellman <jessicalw@earthlink.net>
Crandall, IN USA - Tuesday, October 5, 2004 11:25 AM CDT

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Hi Judy! Im sorry the How are yous are getting to you, People just care and its a common english question. What should they say??? No one seems to know the right thing to say, so look deeper and know they care and love you or they wouldnt ask. You surely wouldnt want someone to say HEy are you still miserable?? Or does life still suck?? Of course you are of course it does. People just want to ask you to see if you want to talk its like an introductory statement. I just pray whatever you need will be taken care of. your so special and tumbleweed is such an important loving oraganization you all started. Your helping so so many people! And your a blessing to many. Im praying that Gods grace will sustain you! Love you!
Kim <dakk2222@netnitco.net>
IN - Monday, October 4, 2004 5:43 PM CDT

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Judy -

Thinking of you (I always do) and of sweet Julia and Sam playing together in Heaven. Hope you all get over the bug you caught. Sending hugs.

Kelly, Samuel J's mama
http://www.caringbridge.org/pa/samuelj

Kelly <kellyjnsn@msn.com>
Pittsburgh, PA - Monday, October 4, 2004 3:53 PM CDT

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Hi - I have always enjoyed reading your entries, but after reading your current entry, I wanted to let you know I don't care if you ever update again. To know that you have peace in your heart is so much more important to me.

Jessica
Jessica <thepointeinlife@yahoo.com>
Poughkeepsie, NY USA - Friday, October 1, 2004 3:08 PM CDT

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Judy, it is so thoughtful of you to wish to help another grieving parent. I found the words of another grieving parent brought tears to my eyes, and thought I'd share them with you in case you haven't been to this website:

What do we wish others understood about the loss of our child? Here is a partial list of such wishes:

I wish you would not be afraid to speak my child’s name. My child lived and was very important and I need to hear his name.

I wish you wouldn’t feel awkward if I mention his name.

If I cry or get emotional if we talk about my child, I wish you knew that it isn’t because you hurt me: the fact that my child died has caused
my tears. You have allowed me to cry and I thank you. Crying and emotional outbursts are healing.

I will have emotional highs and lows, ups and downs. I wish you wouldn’t think that if I have a good day my grief is all over, or if I
have a bad day I need psychiatric counseling.

I wish you knew that the death of a child is different from other losses and must be viewed separately. It is the ultimate tragedy and I
wish you wouldn’t compare it to the loss of a parent, spouse or pet.

Being a bereaved parent is not contagious, so I wish you wouldn’t shy away from me.

I wish you knew that all the “crazy” grief reactions that I am having are in fact very normal. Depression, anger, frustration,
hopelessness, the questioning of values and beliefs are to be expected following the death of a child.

I wish you wouldn’t expect my grief to be over in six months. The first few years are going to be exceedingly traumatic for us.

As with alcoholics, I will never be “cured” or a “former bereaved parent,” but will forever be a “recovering bereaved parent.”

I wish you understood the physical reaction to grief. I may gain or lose weight, sleep all the time or not at all, lose my short-term memory,
develop a host of illness and be accident prone, all of which may be related to my grief.

Our child’s birthday, the anniversary of his death, and the holidays are terrible times for us. I wish you could tell us that you are
thinking about our child these days and if we get quiet and withdrawn, just know that we are thinking about our child and missing him terribly.

Please understand the I am not the same person I was before my child died, and do not expect me to "get back to my old self". I am forever changed, but if you give me a chance, you may find that you like the "new me".

From Brock's caringbridge page at:

http://www2.caringbridge.org/in/brockbarnard/
Stephanie Dzur
Albuquerque, NM usa - Friday, October 1, 2004 0:12 AM CDT

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hi judy...i have been coming to your websight for several months now but i dont have time to sign but now i am on high speed internet and decided i had to tell you that i think that you are fantastic!!! you have been through the worse nightmare a mom can imagine and you are still an excellent mom to your children...they would be pulling me up off of the ground by now!!! or putting me under it!!? you are soo strong!!! and then the problems you dont talk about with your husband but i sense your loneliness and sadness!!! i really hope that he gets it together and the two of you can work it all out...sometimes tragedy drives such a wedge as we each handle it in our own way...but you should be very very proud of who you are!!! you are incredible!!! i know how much you are missing that beautiful baby girl of yours and i am glad that you are still standing!!! if you are ever near the sharon area call me or email me and i would love to meet you...my husband and i live right on the ohio pennsylvania border in a little town called brookfield ohio...so many of your thoughts i can relate to...i have endured a lot of pain also in my life but not the same type as yours...but i am a lot stronger than i ever thought i was too...although sometimes i dont feel soo strong...hang in there as i know that there are better days ahead...you will never get over her or stop missing her or aching for her but somehow you do heal enough to go on...you cling to the memories and the love that you shared with her and all of those who knew her...she lives on in all of you...
janie besser <janiejanie2323@adelphia.net>
masury, ohio usa - Thursday, September 30, 2004 7:53 PM CDT

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hi judy
those 2 questions get to the best of us griefing parents dont they... im not sure if its the seaons changing or whatever but i cant even seem to get a handle on any questions thrown my way lately.
In closing judy... we are doing the best we can dealing with our child now an angels in heaven.
think of you often
abbie
«♥Angel Mitchell♥» <afraser1@tru.eastlink.ca>
truro, ns canada - Wednesday, September 29, 2004 9:53 PM CDT

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Hi Judy,

Just stopping in to say hi, and let you know that I'm thinking of you all.

Donna Leischer <dmleischer@wi.rr.com>
Mukwonago, WI US - Wednesday, September 29, 2004 3:52 PM CDT

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Hey Judy!

Just stopping by to say hello... I hope everyone stays healthy for the big party this weekend! I love to hear Jake and the other kids sharing stories about Julia and opening up with their feelings... that is truly a reflection upon what an awesome job YOU are doing to help them!! Be sure to take the credit where that credit is due...

Thinking of you
Carla <carlaj@zoominternet.net>
Butler, PA - Wednesday, September 29, 2004 3:47 PM CDT

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Judy,
I was thinking the same thing the other day - what a stupid question to ask - "How are you?" However, it is the first thing I ask you , almost all the time. I hope you realize, it is not just like saying What's new, or some other automatic phrase. I truly want to know how you are, at that moment. At any moment. You are always a part of my heart, dear friend, and I am here.

Hope everyone is feeling better, and I hope Jordan has a GREAT party!

Talk to you soon!
Love, Mary <MaryKitchen@Tumbleweedfoundation.org>
- Wednesday, September 29, 2004 1:13 AM CDT

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Judy, Im so glad that jacob has wonderful memories of julia. It was a very touching story. 4 yr olds are amazing the things they say. Jacob can remember julia through videos of her and pictures. And the Love she sends and you all have in your hearts. I pray for you all many times in a day and Know God is there carrying you through.
Kim <dakk2222@netnitco.net>
in - Saturday, September 25, 2004 9:38 PM CDT

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Judy,
It's so good to hear Jacob is putting his feelings about Julia into words. He seemed so young last year to really understand what was going on. It's so healthy for all the kids to talk of their sister. I had a cousin (Paul)who died when he was 4 and my aunt (his mother) would never speak of him. His brothers and sister were younger, but they were not permitted to talk of him. Just recently, at a family funeral, I was telling my cousins some things I had heard from my mother and other relatives about little Paul and they were stunned I knew these things. These people are in their 50's and they never knew very special things about their brother!!! This is truly sad.
Sooo it's wonderful to hear Jacob talk of Julia and express his feelings. Keep up the good work. Love, peace and blessings,
Clare S. <M60CS@AOL.COM>
Pittsburgh, PA - Saturday, September 25, 2004 7:38 PM CDT

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always remembering the good times seems to help ease the bad... know that there are so many prayers for peace and strength for you all always.
erika collier <erika_collier@hotmail.com>
tampa, fl - Saturday, September 25, 2004 7:23 PM CDT

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Judy -

That is so sweet - and so sad - at the same time. Those moments with our surviving kids can be so powerful in so many ways. You're always in my thoughts.

Love, Kelly - Samuel J's mama
http://www.caringbridge.org/pa/samuelj
Kelly
Pittsburgh, PA - Saturday, September 25, 2004 8:43 AM CDT

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Hi Judy, I stumbled across on your site and just wanted to let you know that just reading your journals have touched me, and that I'm sorry for your loss. I couldn't never say I know how you feel because I don't but I can imagine how you feel. I lost my grandfather this passed december to lung cancer, the grandchildren (my cousins and I) never go to say goodbye and it's been the hardest thing we had to endure (sp?). I just want to let you know that you are in my prayers and Bless you and your family. I'm sending a 2 balloons up this evening one for your Julia and one for my Grandfather.
Susan <angel_eyes24_79@yahoo.com>
Coffeyville, Ks USA - Thursday, September 23, 2004 6:20 PM CDT

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Judy you write so eloquently and it's from the heart...you beautiful Julia has a wonderful family and I know she's with you always....you honor her memory so beautifully....and it's funny, my 15 yr.old daughter told me she feels isolated because she has noticed that alot of her firends don't talk to her like they used to because they don't want to burden her...she, like you(and yes I've experienced it too) says she wants to be in on all these situations...if she's having a bad day she told them, she'd let them know...Her brother, David, has had up and owns with his brain cancer...life is never the same, but you forge a new path and keep going. God Bless You and your family and dear Julia, the perfect little Angel.
Kathy-mom to David
caringbridge.org/fl/david
Kathy Cummings/David Fitting <joy2jak@adelphia.net>
Boynton, FL USA - Thursday, September 23, 2004 11:52 AM CDT

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What a beautiful angel your daughter is. Seeing her pictures brought tears to my eyes. I look at her and see what she has given to the world in such a short amount of time...and here I am...26 years old and haven't done anything. She gives me a reason to find out what I can do to help families like yours in time of crisis. I pray that you and your family continue to draw strength from each other. My family will pray that God continues to put his healing hands on you. Take care and know that your daughter will always live on through you and she has made a difference in my life.
Lindsay Kloehr <aggiebonfire00@Yahoo.com>
Houston, TX USA - Tuesday, September 21, 2004 11:35 PM CDT

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Hey Judy --

Hope you guys made it thru all of the flooding OK... my thoughts and prayers continue with you!!

Thinking of ya!
Carla <carlaj@zoominternet.net>
Butler, PA - Monday, September 20, 2004 8:06 PM CDT

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Hi Judy and Family,
I just wanted you to know that I sent a Princess balloon to Julia Friday night. Princess has always been my nickname and it means a lot to me, so I made sure she had a big Princess balloon from me. I had tears in my eyes and even though I never met your family in person I am so saddened by your loss.
I will be praying for you all.
Take care
Love,
Jen
Jen <jengoodnow@yahoo.com>
Concord, NH USA - Tuesday, September 14, 2004 6:20 AM CDT

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Judy, wow marys tribute to julia was awesome, eveyone go check it out at tumbleweed . You will laugh, cry and be forever affected by it. What adorable kids. You are taking the worst tragedy and changing lives with it! I am proud to know you, thanks for sharing your life with us . I hope this doesnt get lost now, ive tried to sign 3 times now. computers! Im praying for you all! mary kitchen you rock!
Kim <dakk2222@netnitco.net>
IN - Monday, September 13, 2004 9:50 PM CDT

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Dear Judy
Sorry I didn't visit your site on the 10th (computer troubles), but you can rest assured I was thinking about you all and crying all day, remembering all the events of last year. Friday was such a beautiful night to release balloons. Did you notice how clear it was and all the stars we could see? I also lit a candle and talked to Julia. Please be well and stay strong. Love, peace and blessings
Clare Stawson <m60cs@aol.com>
Pittsburgh, PA - Monday, September 13, 2004 6:03 PM CDT

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Judy:

I just wanted to stop by and let you know I am thinking about you. I would have stopped by on Friday to leave you a message but we had been without power (water or phone) for a week so I was unable to get online. Sending you Peace.

With Love,
susan....mommy forever to Jakey Bear
Griffin <@aol.com>
- Monday, September 13, 2004 2:24 PM CDT

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I just wanted to tell you.

I THINK YOU ARE A BEAUTIFUL PERSON AND VERY SPECIAL

Thank you for inspiring me and so many others

LOVE & PRAYERS


Paloma
- Monday, September 13, 2004 8:17 AM CDT

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Judy
Did julia have a favorite color butterfly?
I saw a beautiful yello one and I thought of her.Some more of the girls that visit the tumbleweed sight saw yellow ones yesterday too.
Maybe Julia was making her rounds?
Letting you and everyone know she is always there.
God bless.
Evette Mass <skymonique@yahoo.com>
Westland, Mi USA - Saturday, September 11, 2004 10:00 PM CDT

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I want to add two special people that were with us at Judy's house to release our balloons to my Peanuthead. Shellie and Mike Hensler!! Thanks for being there you two! :)

Awesome poem Sis!
I love you!
Jodi <sckycujo@verizon.net>
- Saturday, September 11, 2004 8:31 PM CDT

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I spoke to Julia on my drive to work yesterday. I just wanted to thank her for shining her light in my direction and sharing her love with me.

I would also like to say thank you to you Judy for being the wonderful woman you are. It sure hasn't been an easy road but you have travelled it,(sometimes on your knees) but you have made progress and have shared your journey with others. Thank you for that and for sharing your beautiful daughter.

HUGS and love,
Samantha <sletoile@msn.com>
Barrie, ON Canada - Saturday, September 11, 2004 10:20 AM CDT

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I released my two pink balloons last night, and said a few words to Julia as I did. I also thought of you and your family, Judy. Vincent and his friend watched the balloons until they couldn't see them any more. I hope Julia liked them all!
Maggie <MDefazio60@msn.com>
- Saturday, September 11, 2004 9:26 AM CDT

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To Julia's Family,
What a beautiful memorial for a beautiful little girl. She has left a wonderful legacy.
Frances, Paul and Lucas <hammonds@wincom.net>
Amherstburg, Ontario - Saturday, September 11, 2004 9:21 AM CDT

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Julias Family,
My prayers are with you all during this difficult time as you miss holding your beautiful little girl. Take Care.
Amy <athomas@hansoncomputer.com>
CA - Saturday, September 11, 2004 6:49 AM CDT

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Dear Judy,
I am sure your sweet angel was smiling down on all of the balloons (even the ones sent from Minnesota).
I know this has been a rough day. My wish for you is a weekend of peace and comfort.
Lori Hurley Noah's Page <clowns@myhometown.net>
n st paul, mn - Saturday, September 11, 2004 1:39 AM CDT

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Judy,
The poem is beautiful and perfect.

Julia,
Hope you and all of your Angel friends had fun catching the balloons tonight. There must have been hundreds of them! We love you and miss you sweet Angel.
Love, Mary <MaryKitchen@Tumbleweedfoundation.org>
- Friday, September 10, 2004 11:16 PM CDT

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Hello Judy, I have been following Julia's story for over a year now but have never signed the guestbook. I am at a loss for words, I can not imagine your pain of loosing a child. I did go to the Tumbleweed Foundation website and watch the slideshow of Julia, what an amazingly beautiful child! Her smile just radiates thru my computer! My heart hurts for you and the struggles you have been thru Judy. I think of you often and pray for your happiness. Your children are very blessed to have you as their mother and role model! Remember you are in my thoughts and prayers daily even when I don't sign the guestbook.
Jennifer
Bremerton, wa - Friday, September 10, 2004 11:15 PM CDT

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Sorry I am so late entering here, but I certainly was NOT going to let this day slip away without coming by to offer my support. Please know you were in my thoughts many times today and also as that balloon went up to the heavens! Wonderful tribute for a beautiful little girl! Thoughts and prayers are with you, blessings to you all.
Love,
Eileen
www.caringbridge.org/il/ej
EJ's Caring Place
- Friday, September 10, 2004 11:03 PM CDT

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Sorry for this sad day. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Love & Prayers,
Karol
Prayer Warrior
Legacy of Hope
Karol <pwkarol@aol.com>
Jacksonville, FL USA - Friday, September 10, 2004 10:54 PM CDT

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Hi Judy, and jarrod, Im very sorry that today was the anniversary of julias death. I think you handled it amazingly like everything you do. BTW MARY KITCHEN is an awesome friend, Her guestbook things i sometimes read make me smile she has the biggest heart, your so blessed to have her on your side. Balloons all over the place went up tonight as people who loved her remembered her. and those of us who didnt know her loved her anyway for what we knew of her. She truly is a precious Angel. I will continue to pray for your strength to endure this awful journey. Im glad jarrod was there to hold you. Its been just so hard on you all, In a way maybe your glad to know you had such strenght to endure a year. Iknow God carried you through each day. Love to you,
Kim <dakk2222@netnitco.net>
IN - Friday, September 10, 2004 9:58 PM CDT

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Hi Judy,

I sent a balloon off for Julia tonight. I found a picture of a butterfly in a magazine and tied it to the string of the balloon so that she would know it was just for her. I watched it until it was a dot in the sky and I couldn't see it anymore. I'm sure Julia loved all the balloon's sent to her....What an awesome thought that was, and what a tribute to a beautiful little girl.

Love,

Carol
Carol A. Finley <cafin@msn.com>
Pittsburgh, PA USA - Friday, September 10, 2004 9:35 PM CDT

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Thinking of your family today and keeping you in my prayers, Angelique Parker

www.caringbridge.org/oh/harleiparker
angelique parker <pfloyd326@yahoo.com>
ohio - Friday, September 10, 2004 9:33 PM CDT

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Judy, As you know by now, I released a beautiful yellow balloon with a message attached to Julia. Please know that I am with you always. I have more balloons to get. I will send Julia another one tomorrow for Caitlin's birthday. www.caringbridge.org/ny/caitlintaylorgunn
Aleta, Mommy to Angel Caitlin <agunn@optonline.net>
West Nyack, NY - Friday, September 10, 2004 8:08 PM CDT

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Thank you to all that released balloons tonight!! From what I understand, people from all over the country joined us. It was totally awesome!! That touched my heart as well as my sister's. Judy's neighbor had let her balloons go, then took pictures of Judy, Jarrod, the kids, myself and my kids and Cathy and her kids as we released our many balloons for Julia. We watched them until we couldn't see them anymore!! Thanks again!
Jodi <sckycujo@verizon.net>
- Friday, September 10, 2004 8:03 PM CDT

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Hey Judy!!

I haven't written lately, but you have continued to be in my thoughts and prayers, as always. Unfortunately I wasn't able to release the balloons.. but I've had candles lit for Julia today. I can not believe it's been a year, my heart breaks for you all!

The tribute on Tumbleweed is GORGEOUS!! I had always associated that song with my little boy, and when I heard it playing I was even MORE in tears...

WIth love,
Carla <carlaj@zoominternet.net>
Butler , PA - Friday, September 10, 2004 7:36 PM CDT

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Well, we sent 6 green balloons, and one big giant Tweety bird balloon! We wrote special messages, and set them free. They went racing up to heaven. We watched until we could not see them anymore. We sang to Julia while they flew out of site. We Love you Julia!
Mary & Hannah <MaryKitchen@Tumbleweedfoundation.org>
- Friday, September 10, 2004 7:02 PM CDT

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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Judy,
As I promised, here are pictures of our butterfly. The caterpillar cocooned about 10 days ago. When we awoke this morning, we thought it might hatch. How appropriate for this metamorphosis to complete itself today. We saw the butterfly hatch, spread its wings, and fly away to the heavens. The first two pictures were taken mere minutes after it hatched. The second two, John took while I was holding her (you can tell it is a her by the way the wings slope). The only time she climbed down, was to get near the computer, when I was looking at Julia's page. The last one was taken after my kids came home from school and we were setting her free. She flew to the fence, and then John set her on a milkweed plant. Shortly after, she took to the air, flew around us, and flew away free. So beautiful. Our balloons are ready. We are all writing a special message on them, before setting them free. I wish I could see them all, flying to heaven to be with Julia.





Love, Mary <MaryKitchen@Tumbleweedfoundation.org>
- Friday, September 10, 2004 6:33 PM CDT

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Judy...My heart aches for you as I read your update. I know that beautiful Julia is SO very proud of you for honoring her with the Tumbleweed Foundation. What awesome work you're doing. You're so very special! Your daughter continues to touch so many people...she will never be forgotten!

Much love and continued prayers of peace...
Terry Snyder (Angel Jalen's "Am-Maw") http://www.caringbridge.org/fl/jalen <vix207@aol.com>
Royal Palm Beach, FL - Friday, September 10, 2004 6:31 PM CDT

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I pray that you will be comforted during this difficult time. I am so sorry for your loss. Stay strong...
"The Lord God will wipe away tears from off all faces."
ISAIAH 25:8

Jodi
Michael, Jodi, Bryce and Alyssa Fiveash <fireplay5@wcc.net>
San Angelo, Texas - Friday, September 10, 2004 5:56 PM CDT

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Judy,
My heart is aching, it is broken in two. It is so hard to believe that our babies left us a year ago. Your Julia on Sept. 10 and my Zach on Sept. 14. Four days apart. How ironic. At least we know they are together watching over us. Your Julia was such a special little girl as my Zach was a very special little boy. I truly believe that God takes the best because our babies are the best in our eyes and everyone who knew them. No, there are no words that anyone could tell us to make the pain go away. That agonizing pain is there forever. I don't know about you but I hurt more today than I did a year ago. It is like I have been numb all this time and now reality has set in....My baby isn't going to walk through the door after school and yell "Momma, I'm home. I'm hungry!" I so miss those words. I so miss his smile and the laughter he brought to our home. I'm sure he makes Julia laugh all the time as well as all the other caringbridge angels. I pray for peace and comfort for you and your family on this difficult day. May God wrap his arms around all of you and help your through it. Your site is wonderful. I visited the Tumbleweed Foundation yesterday. I love the tribute to Julia and the whole purpose of the foundation. I admire your strength and determination to carry on your precious angel's name. I wish I was there to give you a great big hug. Just know that you are in my thoughts today and every day.
Misti Herrera-mother of angel Zach <dmherrera@pvtnetworks.net>
Albuquerque, NM USA - Friday, September 10, 2004 5:39 PM CDT

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Judy,
Just stopping by to let you know, we're thinking about you.
Take Care.
Sarah
Sarah lorge <sarah.lorge@allina.com>
andover, mn usa - Friday, September 10, 2004 4:03 PM CDT

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thinking of you
love
abbie «♥Angel Mitchell♥» <afraser1@tru.eastlink.ca>
tru, ns canada - Friday, September 10, 2004 1:22 PM CDT

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Jude, I can not believe that one year ago today G*d received the most precious angel. I went to the tumbleweed site this morning at work and it is wonderful what has been put together to Honor Julia. I know that there is nothing that we can say or do to take away the pain in your hearts today, just know that we are hear as always, I must go and I will speak to you tonight. Love you


Julia,
Precious Angel, you are missed more that words can say.
WE LOVE YOU ANGEL BABY
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX
Cathy <copalko@aol.com>
- Friday, September 10, 2004 1:09 PM CDT

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I have never met you or any of your family, but I too was touched by your beautiful daughter and continue to be so by reading your journals from time to time. My prayers are with you!
LaRae Fulton <larae.fulton@netxv.net>
Christoval, TX USA - Friday, September 10, 2004 11:50 AM CDT

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Thinking of you today....many of us came to know and love little Julia through your website, and we're still grieving with you today.

Peace and love,
Louisa
Louisa
MN - Friday, September 10, 2004 11:15 AM CDT

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Judy-

I just wanted you to know that I'm thinking of you today and holding you in my heart.

Love,

Kelly, Samuel J's mama
http://www.caringbridge.org/pa/samueljq
Kelly Johnson <kellyjnsn@msn.com>
Pittsburgh, PA USA - Friday, September 10, 2004 11:11 AM CDT

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Judy,
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family on this difficult day. I am so deeply sorry for your loss. I know that those words are small, but hopefully knowing that myself and I am sure many others are very sad today too will bring some comfort to you. I hope Julia gets millions of balloons tonight. I know I will be sending one to her.
Thinking and praying for you all today.
Jen
Jen <jengoodnow@yahoo.com>
Concord, NH USA - Friday, September 10, 2004 10:54 AM CDT

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To the Levy Family,
I'm praying for you all to have strength on this diffcult day. My daughter had cancer too and she is in remission and doing well. At one time I feared so much I would lose her. Although I can not imagine the debt of the pain you must feel, I do feel the warmth, caring and love you have for Julia. I live on the west coast. I will be sending a beautiful purple balloon to your daughter at 6pm pacific time which will be the same time when eveyone does it at 8pm central time. Blessing to your family.
Lori <mitchpad@pacbell.net>
San Diego, CA - Friday, September 10, 2004 10:44 AM CDT

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I remember crying as I read your journal this time last year. I came to Julia' page via Marissa's page. Marissa's and Julia's life touched me. I made some changes in my own life and went to the doctor about something that was bothering me but I was too scared to investigate. Your daughter and Kim's daughter taught me to cherish every second of life. I have done that. I have hugged and kissed my babies so much more. I have not gotten as irritated when my toddler was 'difficult'. I have read that extra bedtime story or eaten at McDonalds (for them) when I couldn't stand the thought of another meal there.

Your pain must be immeasurable. Your loss must be paralyzing. I can't pretend to know what you are feeling and I don't want to insult you by trying to give advice. All I can do is tell you that your daughter's life had an impact on mine (and my daughters' lives as well). Whenever I see butterflies, I am reminded of the lessons Julia taught me. I see her sweet face and think of her beautiful smile. I hope knowing that Julia's life touched a stranger's life helps in some way. Her years here were short but were so important.

My prayers for you and your family are for peace and happiness. Take care of yourself, Judy. You don't know me but please know that I care.
Beth
- Friday, September 10, 2004 10:04 AM CDT

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Hello Levy Family,

I know there are no words cure the pain. I'm thinking of your family today and wish you the best! Your Tumbleweed has a special place in my heart. Please take care of eachother.
Jenn Hartley <ronjenn696@prodigy.net>
Bensalem, PA USA - Friday, September 10, 2004 9:16 AM CDT

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I just wanted to let you know that our family is thinking of you today and every day. I have never signed the guestbook before but I felt compelled to let you know that people aren't forgetting sweet Julia or you and the rest of your family.

Much love and prayers being sent your way...

Angelina's mom www.caringbridge.org/mi/angelina
Jennifer I <ingmankidsmom@hotmail.com>
Warren, MI USA - Friday, September 10, 2004 8:50 AM CDT

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I cant believe its been a year already. Time passes by so quickly. Your all in my thoughts and prayers on this and every day. I havent figured out how I'm going to transport a balloon on my bike to Harrisburg tonight, but I will do it somehow!! (I'm sure I'll get some strange looks from the folks that see me riding with a balloon on my bike! I'll try to get a picture!)
Uncle Jeff <FreedominPA@comcast.net>
Freedom, PA USA - Friday, September 10, 2004 8:26 AM CDT

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I can not imagine what you must have went through one year ago today (and yesterday for that matter). But I admire you for your strength and courage. I am sure today must be hard for you, so I am sending prayers and many, many hugs to you and your family. Much love
courtie (www.caringbridge.com/md/courtie) <cuteori@aol.com>
- Friday, September 10, 2004 8:25 AM CDT

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just wanting you to know that i'm thinking about you... praying for your continued strength and for much peace in your heart. especially today.
erika collier <erika_collier@hotmail.com>
tampa, fl - Thursday, September 9, 2004 11:10 PM CDT

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I have been reliving that night from my perspective as well. I remember getting the call from Lisa. And driving like a mad woman to get there. I remember all the love in the room. SO MUCH LOVE! I remember asking, no - begging - God for her miracle. I remember bringing Hannah to visit her on the evening two nights before, and her (Hannah) being upset because she did not have green nail polish like Julia. I rememeber giving her the tweety t-shirt,and how Hannah saw it from across the store at Target, where it had no business being. I remember looking around the room at everyone, and STILL thinking the Doctor was out of her mind. I hated leaving your house. I also remembered alot of other things this week - Julia chasing Hannah, Julia hitting the pinata at Jakeys party. I remember coming over to watch her and Jakey for you, and reading her books. I rememebr coming over your house one time, and Julia and Hannah were playing with one of Justine's new toys, and Justine flipping out! LOL! I remember Julia sitting on my lap at the baby shower, and she and I talking about us getting a new swing set, and her telling me to make sure we had a teeter totter. I remmeber the most beautiful laugh, when Katie would "KISS" Julia, and she would just laugh and laugh, because Katie was basically suctioned to her cheek! LOL! What a GREAT laugh! I remember Julia and Hannah and Jakey and Danny playing in my van with me on All Star Day at Hammer Field. I remember one day up at school, when Julia wanted to stay at my house while you helped Jarrod, and how thrilled I was that she was comfortable enough with me to stay with me and Hannah! I was on cloud nine I think!
I rememeber being so glad that Hannah and Julia were on stage together at Preschool graduation. Hannah was so thrilled! They were so beautiful up their together. I remember all the kids chasing each other after the ceremony. It is amazing how my mind has been switching between the memories that make me smile and the ones that make me cry. I love you my friend, and I love your beautiful Angel. We were so blessed to spend so much time with you guys. Julia touched my heart to my very soul. Because of her, I believe in Angels, because I had the pleasure of meeting one, and having her in my life. I pray (and I mean I actually pray) you can find some peace,and that things start to get easier. You deserve it more than anyone I know. I love you my friend. There are going to be so many balloons tomorrow, I think they should cancel all airline flights, for the safety of the passengers! Hugs to you, and Jarrod, and Jordan, and Justine, and Jacob. We love you all.
Love, Mary <MaryKitchen@Tumbleweedfoundation.org>
- Thursday, September 9, 2004 9:56 PM CDT

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Levy family,

No words will ever clear the pain you feel and will always feel - just as time will not erase nor dull the love you shae with each other and Julia. Cherish those memories, laugh at Julia's antics and REMEMBER her for the angel on earth that she was.

HUGS and love,
Samantha <sletoile@msn.com>
Barrie, ON Canada - Thursday, September 9, 2004 7:37 PM CDT

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Judy, I will be thinking of you, Julia, and the family on Sept 10. I will be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. Julia chose you to be her mommy and that's awesome. You're a special woman who brought a special soul into this world. Julia and Caitlin are having the best time in heaven. They are getting ready for Caitlin's 6th birthday on 9/11. Angel Caitlin's Page
Aleta <agunn@optonline.net>
West Nyack, NY - Thursday, September 9, 2004 6:37 PM CDT

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Hannah and I will be glad to share in this balloon release. your in our thoughts and prayers. when I see a butterfly I stop and think of Julia, even though we never met I read how she loved butterflies. I saw two beautiful butterflies a few weeks back while at the cemetary visiting my moms grave site and as they flew by I said well Grandmas watching over all the little ones now and there she goes and she even made sure to stop near us to say 'hi'. The Hannum Family

www.caringbridge.org/pa/ourlittleangel
Holly Hannum <hhannum@comcast.net>
Beaver Falls, PA USA - Thursday, September 9, 2004 4:13 PM CDT

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Just a little note to say we'll be thinking of your baby girl tomorrow and thinking of the family. We know you miss her terribly and we are so sorry for your loss.
M. Elton <meltonva@yahoo.com>
Richmond, VA - Thursday, September 9, 2004 3:54 PM CDT

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YOU KNOW WE WILL HAVE BALLOONS READY AND WAITING!!
JUDY AND JERRY,
YOU HAVE BEEN IN MY THOUGHTS AND TEARS ALLDAY TODAY.

LOVE YOU

CATHY <COPALKO@AOL.COM>
- Thursday, September 9, 2004 1:50 PM CDT

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Hey Judy,

Just want you to know that you and your family will be in our thoughts and prayers.

I will be releasing a balloon here in Mt. Airy, NC for Julia tomorrow.

Praying that He fill you with His peace and heal your hurting heart.

Lots of Love and Hugs,
Yvonne Fernandez, Mommy to Angel Leilani
The Fernandez Family <yvonnengzs@rjia.net /// www.caringbridge.org/nc/leilani>
Mount Airy, NC - Thursday, September 9, 2004 1:44 PM CDT

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Hi Judy,
I know I hardly ever leave a message. Not because I don't want to, I do, but have no clue what to say. I just wanted to let you know that Julia is always with me everywhere I go, I wish I would of been able to meet her. But I think of you often and check this website on a regular basis. I thought I share something with you. Yesterday my friend and I were on a walk and I was talking about your Julia, and out of the blue this beautiful black and orange butterfly appeared and was with us for about a block. I knew it was Julia and that she was ok. That made my DAY seeing that butterfly! I have been a avided reader on this page for a longtime now, and her journey was truly amazing, and I know you still have a lot of struggling/hurt to get over, but who wouldn't!?!..You give me reasons everyday, to go and make something good out of myself...I give blood every 56 days , platlets when needed and I am now about to get registered to be a bone marrow doner..These little things that we take for granted, could help someone, and for that I thank both of you, for helping me understand the true meaning on life! Thank You so much for sharing your story with us complete strangers, but yet connected by one darling angel!
I will be releasing a balloon tomorrow night at 8pm in honor of your precious Julia, because I know that would mean a lot to you! Lots of love to you and your family from Andover, MN! If you ever need anything, I am here for you!Take Care. Sarah

Julia, Can you believe that tomorrow, will be your first anniversary in Heaven!?! How lucky are you!! I hope you are having lots of fun up there playing with Maddie, and everyone else who weren't able to stay here with us..Keep shining through, and give your mom an extra tight hug tonight! Sarah
Sarah Lorge <sarah.lorge@allina.com>
Andover , MN USA - Thursday, September 9, 2004 8:37 AM CDT

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Paloma
- Thursday, September 9, 2004 7:53 AM CDT

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Hey Jody great idea, we'll make sure we have some balloons to send to Jules.

Glad that you and Jar will be together on Friday. Our hearts ache for your whole family.

I never found out, what are you doing with Jakey after school. I know that Taylor is watching the others, (at least I think she is..) but what about Jakey?
Shellie
- Wednesday, September 8, 2004 5:30 PM CDT

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Hi Judy! Just wanted you to know that I am praying for you and your family. I know that I have never met Julia, but every time I see a butterfly I think of her. Love,
Kelly H.,R.N.
Kelly Hendler R.N. <kelklein@aol.com>
- Wednesday, September 8, 2004 3:18 PM CDT

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Jodi, I love the idea of releasing balloons, and count me in,too. Me and my boys will be sending ours up to Julia.

Judy, my heart aches for you, and there's nothing I can say that would have any meaning. Maybe just knowing that there are so many of us out here who wish that they could somehow "make it all better".
Maggie <MDefazio60@msn.com>
- Wednesday, September 8, 2004 2:34 PM CDT

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Judy -

I don't know that I've ever signed your guestbook before, but I wanted to let you know that I'm thinking of you as you prepare to mark the anniversary of Julia's passing. I can't even begin to imagine your pain, but my heart breaks for your loss.
Justine Kessler
Madison, WI - Wednesday, September 8, 2004 10:34 AM CDT

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Jodi,
Great idea about the balloons. Count me in.

Judy,
I have no words. I want to say something meaningful, but what is there to say. This whole week sucks. This whole year has been one trial after another for you. Glad Jarrod will be with you on Friday. I will pray for healing for you both.

Julia,
Missing you so beautiful Angel. Thanks for the visit on Saturday. Hope you catch all your balloons on Friday. YOu will have to be fast - I am sure there will be thousands of them!
Mary <MaryKitchen@Tumbleweedfoundation.org>
- Tuesday, September 7, 2004 10:11 PM CDT

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Judy,
Try not to take the negativity to heart. Some people are just rude. What ever happened to the saying "if you have nothing nice to say-say nothing" No one has the right to say any thing even the least bit negative to you. How many others would be able to hold a family together and continue to be the pillar of strength that you have been after enduring a living hell? Not many, not many at all!!!
You are an awesome, strong willed person, with a heart of gold. After all you have been thru, you are the first one there for others in need.
On the lighter side...It seems like only yesterday that you made me take pictures of your pregnant tummy with baby Jordan so you could send them to Jodi !!!! WOW!
Take care,


Betsy <betsy-k@verizon.net>
- Tuesday, September 7, 2004 5:57 PM CDT

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This is for all the people who check this website and for you to tell others that know about Julia. I would like to suggest that on Friday September 10th, 2004 at 8:00pm, everyone have a helium balloon ready to let soar to the heavens for Julia to mark the one year anniversary of our sweet Angels departure from Earth to Heaven. Let her see how many people have her on their minds when she sees all the balloons floating up to her. Everyone in unison. 8:00 Fri. Sept. 10th. Thanks in advance to all that will participate.
Jodi <sckycujo@verizon.net>
- Tuesday, September 7, 2004 5:54 PM CDT

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First, happy belated birthday Jordan!!

I've just read Julia's story and my heart breaks for all that your family has been through. It's just not fair. Although I never met your beautiful sweetie I will never forget her.

Judy, I'd also like to tell you to ignore the people who have no business getting in YOUR business. Only YOU have walked the long hard journey in YOUR shoes, so the heck with everyone else. I know it's easier said than done, but try to ignore them. You don't need more misery in your life.

I wish I knew the right words to ease your pain but I know that there are no such words. You do have my thoughts and prayers tho. May God give you a measure of peace and strength as Sept. 10th approaches. ((((HUGS))))
Sheila
MN - Tuesday, September 7, 2004 9:07 AM CDT

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Happy birthday Jordan!!11 years old, and the most handsome kid in the class!
Mary, what a great story. I printed it so that I could share it with others.
Judy, my good thoughts are with you always. How so much could be laid upon one person...I'll never know. You are such a loving mom and friend.
Shellie <khen608178@aol.com>
- Monday, September 6, 2004 10:10 AM CDT

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Beautiful Butterfly story

It seems to me the more a person is visible for good, the more they are vulnerable to the criticism, cynisism and other people's judgements. Its best not to take any of it personally, because after all its not really about you, its about them and their issues. When it comes down to it, G-D knows the truth of whats in our hearts and minds, so its really between G-D and ourselves - what we do and why we do it.


Paloma
- Monday, September 6, 2004 8:46 AM CDT

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Sorry Jordon Sweetie that I am a little late


I hope you had a really good time celebrating.
You and your family are in my prayers.


Paloma
- Monday, September 6, 2004 8:19 AM CDT

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How can anyone criticize anything you have done? Sounds like you are an amazing woman with all you have been through and you still have your sanity. Not only have you watched your daughter suffer immensely and die but you also have problems with Jarrod. No one, absolutely no one should second quess you. Let them "shadow" you for 24 hours and see if they still feel the same way. I hope things get easier for you. Happy birthday to Jordan.
Mary Anne <maklein55@comcast.net>
Pittsburgh, - Saturday, September 4, 2004 1:28 PM CDT

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Judy-

I think of you all the time, and pray for you tohave some peace. I'm sorry for all the struggles you have had to endure in addition to dealing with your grief. It isn't fair at all. I hope we can get together sometime soon. Give me a call anytime.

Love,

Kelly, Samuel J's mama
http://www.caringbridge.org/pa/samuelj
Kelly <kellyjnsn@msn.com>
Pittsburgh, PA USA - Saturday, September 4, 2004 8:42 AM CDT

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Hi I just wanted to say I think you are a great mom, I learned of this site thru your tumble weed, which I think is an amzing tribute to a beautiful little girl. I am so sorry she went to Heavan so soon, I pray for your family often, Lyn and Justin www.caringbridge.org/nj/justinw
Lyn Wyatt <ddog117@comcast.net>
stratford, nj usa - Saturday, September 4, 2004 0:49 AM CDT

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I'm just stopping by to let you know that my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. God bless and *warm hugs* ><>†<><



Lighting Children's Lives

My website

*Jennifer C* from Lighting Children's Lives <jenniferc@ilovetocolor.com>
Eugene, OR USA - Friday, September 3, 2004 4:09 PM CDT

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WOW mary incredible! truly it is amazing whoever wrote it. Thanks so much for sharing it, I didnt see it on maxies page. Judy you know we all love and care for you and are here to hold you up. THe sun will shine again! I know it! and you will be better when it does!
Kim
IN - Thursday, September 2, 2004 10:49 PM CDT

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Mary, that story says it all.......Julia!!

Jud,
Even thought Jules' "physical shell" is no longer here, you know that little Peanuthead is EVERYWHERE!!! All the black cloud situations will all work out and you'll see some rays of light shining thru soon. I promise! As always, in our 38 yrs. I'm still looking out for you! That's what sisters and bestfriends are for!

I love you very much!

Jod <sckycujo@verizon.net>
- Thursday, September 2, 2004 9:05 PM CDT

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Judy,
Here is the story I told you about. I found it on Maxie's site, and I immeditely thought of Julia. Love to you.

Becoming a butterfly…

I was sitting outside on this beautiful spring day, enjoying the blooming crabapple trees, redbuds, and daffodils. A small white butterfly fluttered around me and shared the following story about a special little angel.

In a place where time does not matter, a precious little soul lived in complete joy. She was so full of love and light. She really was more like a light, a beautiful light that is beyond description. She felt the presence of many other souls around her and she was completely immersed in the love that they shared freely. There was also a very special light that was so infinite and awesome that all the other lights referred to it as God. All the souls wanted to be very close to God’s light and love, and that of course brought them all even closer together.

God approached this precious little soul one day, and complimented her on her mastery of loving and being loved. He said, “You are so special, and I love you so much. I want to share you with others so that you can teach them to love and be loved.” the little soul said, “God, I love you so much, and would do anything to please you.” God explained that the little soul could come to the earth school to teach other souls how to love and be loved. “In order, to go to the earth school”, he explained, “you would have to be born into a physical body that would cause you much suffering. And you will have to leave light and love you experience here.” The little soul cried. “But God, I want to be here with you always. I love you so much.” She immediately felt a pang of guilt for being even a little bit selfish. You see she was so aware that real love is only experienced with complete selflessness. This convinced her that, even she, the master of loving and being loved, could learn even more about loving completely, and unconditionally by visiting the earth school herself.

God made some promises. First of all, she would be given many guides and angels to help her on her journey. Secondly, she could choose her parents and family. Thirdly, she would only have to stay few years or as long as she could stand to suffer in her physical shell.

She chose the perfect mommy. Her mommy loved her so much, and she understood what her needs were. But the little soul knew that she could make her mommy even better by being her teacher. She took this task very seriously and was so happy to have a mommy and a whole family that she could love so much. And they loved her very much too. They shared a special bond that reminded the little soul of the bond that she had with God. And as it happened, the light that the little soul emitted without even knowing it touched many other people. They would say things about her like “You have a beautiful smile.” “She really lights up a room.” “She has a twinkle in her eye.” “She is an old soul.” They did not really understand what it was, but they knew the little girl she had become was very, very special.

Even though the little soul missed the closeness she had with God, she was very happy loving and being loved on the earth school. Many angels came to visit her in her dreams to give her encouragement and support. However, it did not take too long before her physical shell started have difficulties. She felt pain in her head, and most of the time, she just ignored it and continued to smile and play. But eventually, the pain got worse. Her mommy did not know what was the matter at first. The doctors tried to give her medicine to fix her physical shell. Before long mommy and many, many others, began to pray to God for the little girl's healing. God answered their prayers. The little soul was healed and became more and more selfless despite her physical pain. The little soul learned that she, the master of loving and being loved, could make a great sacrifice in order to teach others how to love and be loved. God was so proud of the strides that the little soul made on the earth school. He also saw what a great teacher she had become. She had reached out to so many people. People in every part of the earth school were impacted by the lessons that the little soul taught, especially her mommy.

Finally, the angels pleaded with God to bring the little soul home. You see, the little soul resisted their calls because she had become a real master of loving and being loved. She no longer wanted what felt good to her. She wanted to love and help others by teaching them how to appreciate life more fully. She knew that there was so much work to be done on the earth school. She resolved that all the pain and suffering she could endure was worth teaching even one person how to love and be loved.

Finally, God himself came to her in her dreams and reminded her of the beautiful light and love that awaited her at home. During these dreams, the little soul was comforted so much even though she felt so much pain from the fear and worries of the earth souls.

The little girl remembered how hard it was to be born into the earth school. She did not want to leave her home with God then, and it was so painful when she had to gasp for her first breath of air. So many earth souls worried about her, and that made her concerned. God told her not to be afraid about being born back into the light. Even though her physical shell would appear to be suffering, her soul would be set free soon. Her soul would soar like an eagle right into the light, free of all pain and suffering.

He told her to remember the beautiful butterflies that she loved to watch on sunny days outside. He reminded her that the caterpillar encased itself into a dark cocoon. Once the caterpillar was ready to be transformed, it broke out of its shell destroying the home it had grown accustomed to. But once it did, the butterfly was free to fly and bask in the light, enjoy the sweetest nectar, and immerse itself in the beauty that surrounded it. God told her that soon, very soon, she would fly like a butterfly again. All she needed to do was to immerse herself in the light, God’s light. The little soul liked this idea very much.

She did just as God told her. She focused on the light, and surprisingly, the more she did that she began to feel less pain and she became less afraid. Finally, she completely forgot all about her pain and her shell. She began to feel lighter and she floated then soared right into the light. She eventually found herself right back at home with God surrounded by all the loving souls and God’s beautiful light. It was so much easier than being born into the earth school!

Her mommy was very sad to see her physical shell suffer so. It was very difficult to watch her little girl struggle for her last gasps of air. And even though it was very hard, her mommy stayed right by her side and gave her so much love that it set her free. All the earth souls, including her mommy were very, very sad that she left them. Their hearts ached for her physical presence, even though they knew in their hearts that the little soul was happier now that she was freed of her shell.

The little soul's light shined ever so brightly because she was the truly the master of loving and being loved. She felt beautiful and free and so, so happy. She was not sad at all about leaving the earth school because she knew that she could return often. And now she had a reason to also. She would show up in the most beautiful places she could pick, and also send lots of love to her mommy and family and friends. She would always be there as long as the earth souls were willing to look. She would be a beautiful sunset, a twinkling star, a rainbow, and most definitely a butterfly.

The sounds of wrens and cardinals singing brought my attention back to all the beauty that surrounded me. The little white butterfly fluttered by again. And whispered this in my ear, "please share this story with all you can. So many fear the change. They fear loss and suffering. Please let them know they should never fear becoming a butterfly." A gentle breeze blew, and the little soul flew gracefully away promising to return.

Love, Mary <MaryKitchen@Tumbleweedfoundation.org>
- Thursday, September 2, 2004 8:32 PM CDT

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Hi Judy,
You have been through so much this past year. For me it just seems like a bad dream, that I will wake up and Elijah will be there with that beautiful smile on his face. I wish I knew what to tell you to make the hurt more bearable, but I haven't found it myself. What I can do is pray for you, and that I will do. It sounds like you have a strong bond with your children, and that is wonderful. Please know that there are many people who are thinking and praying for you. I pray for peace for you and your family.
Craig Levine <wakbyfaith@yahoo.com>
Pawnee, IL - Thursday, September 2, 2004 2:49 PM CDT

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hi judy
that quote does sum it up doesnt it !!! mitchell and i always said to each other never say goodbye say see ya later and it hurt so much to say goodbye to him. as much as i tried not to say goodbye by being in complete denial it didnt work. we both said are good byes that we wished we never had to do.
i have been thinking of you alot with julias first anniversary coming up. i will be with you in thought on that day.
love abbie
«♥Angel Mitchell♥» <afraser1@tru.eastlink.ca>
tru, ns canada - Thursday, September 2, 2004 11:40 AM CDT

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Hi Judy,
Haven't posted for awhile, but you know you are in my thoughts. One day you will hold Julia again, and then you will finally be able to make some sense of why the world is the way it is, and why you have had to endure so much pain and heartache. Your beautiful kids have an awesome mom, and if anyone brings you some joy, it will be them, for sure. One moment at a time, one moment at a time...Love you!
Janet H. <jperrirn@adelphia.net>
Pittsburgh, PA USA - Wednesday, September 1, 2004 2:28 PM CDT

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Judy,

I have been reading your site for some time now. I got onto these caring bridge sites while looking for a litte support myself. My mother was diagnosed with Non Hodgkins Lymphoma in March 2003 and since then has gone thru Chop, DeHap and a stem cell transplant. I am so glad to report that she is doing well.
I have a little girl who just turned 5 and she loves Dora The Explorer. I also have a son who just turned 7.
I can't believe what you have been thru and my heart just goes out to you. You are a special person and I can't even begin to imagine what it is like to lose a child.
Just wanted you to know that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
Lori J. Greenough
Upper Burlington, N.S. Canada - Tuesday, August 31, 2004 9:46 PM CDT

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Judy,

I have been reading your site for some time now. I got onto these caring bridge sites while looking for a litte support myself. My mother was diagnosed with Non Hodgkins Lymphoma in March 2003 and since then has gone thru Chop, DeHap and a stem cell transplant. I am so glad to report that she is doing well.
I have a little girl who just turned 5 and she loves Dora The Explorer. I also have a son who just turned 7.
I can't believe what you have been thru and my heart just goes out to you. You are a special person and I can't even begin to imagine what it is like to lose a child.
Just wanted you to know that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
Lori J. Greenough
Upper Burlington, N.S. Canada - Tuesday, August 31, 2004 9:46 PM CDT

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Judy,
Just wanted you to know you have been constantly in my thoughts and prayers. You certainly have had a year from hell! Take one day at a time. Death cannot diminish the many special ways Julia touched your life and grief cannot take away the good times and happy memories you shared. I don't know why G-D has not been making sense in your life and there is so much turmoil. No one deserves this much sadness, but it's important to still trust in Him and not dispair. Julia has a special connection to G-d -- In our faith we believe that when innocent children die, they become saints and we can pray to them to intercede with G-d to help us. You end each journal entry with a "prayer" to Julia. Keep praying to her and tell her your feelings and thoughts and needs. It's OK to tell G-d how angry you are with Him and how you need a break from all the misery going on and how you, Jordan, Justine and Jacob need a break from all the sadness. In time I am sure you will find peace and happiness again. It won't be the same, of course, but you will find peace and Julia can be the instrument through which you find it.
Love, peace and blessings,
Clare Stawson <M60CS@AOL.COM>
Pittsburgh, PA - Tuesday, August 31, 2004 7:02 PM CDT

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Judy,
As always, you are in my thoughts & prayers. Where you find the inner strength to go on is unremarkable. One person should not have to go thru everything you have gone thru and seem to be continuing to go thru. You are one amazing woman, and one hell of a terrific mother. I wish as everyone does there was something to change this past year.


Betsy <betsy-k@verizon.net>
pgh, pa - Tuesday, August 31, 2004 6:32 PM CDT

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Judy,
you and your family are in my prayers. much strength and hope that God grants you the peace of mind that you deserve and need.


Jon Han <hanjk@upmc.edu>
PGH, PA USA - Tuesday, August 31, 2004 5:47 PM CDT

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Judy,
I am so very sorry for all the pain and suffering you are enduring. I know that words won't make it stop but I wanted to tell you that I check Julia's website everyday and I cry when I read about all the pain that you feel. It seems so unfair that you have so much heartache to deal with, one person shouldn't have to bear so much. You are a strong person in my eyes. I hope that knowing that I am thinking of and praying for you and your family along with many others can bring you some peace of mind.
You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers daily, and I am praying hard that you will find some peace!
Take care,
Jen
Jen <jengoodnow@yahoo.com>
Concord, NH USA - Tuesday, August 31, 2004 6:29 AM CDT

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This is my first visit to your page for your precious angel. I am so sorry for what you are having to go through. God be with you giving you strength and courage. He has already. It is so devastating for you to not have only lost your precious angel but to have to endure the rest too. I pray this poem will be a blessing to you:

When tomorrow starts without me,
And I'm not there to see,
If the sun should rise and find your eyes
All filled with tears for me;

I wish so much you wouldn't cry the way you did today,
While thinking of the many things,
We didn't get to say.

I know how much you love me, As much as I love you,
And each time that you think of me, I know you'll miss me too;

But when tomorrow starts without me . Please try to understand,
That an angel came and called my name, And took me by the hand,

And said my place was ready, In heaven far above,
And that I'd have to leave behindAll those I dearly love.

But as I turned to walk away, A tear fell from my eye
For all my life, I'd always thought, I didn't want to die.

I had so much to live for, So much left yet to do,
It seemed almost impossible, That I was leaving you.

I thought of all the yesterdays, The good ones and the bad,
I thought of all the love we shared, And all the fun we had.

If I could relive yesterday, Just even for a while,
I'd say good-bye and kiss you And maybe see you smile.

But then I fully realized, That this could never be,
For emptiness and memories, Would take the place of me.

And when I thought of worldly things, I might miss come tomorrow,
I thought of you, and when I did, My heart was filled with sorrow.

But when I walked through heaven's gates, I felt so much at home.
When God looked down and smiled at me, From His great golden throne,

He said, "This is eternity, And all I've promised you."
Today your life on earth is past . But here life starts anew.

I promise no tomorrow, But today will always last,
And since each day's the same way There's no longing for the past.

You have been so faithful, So trusting and so true.
Though there were times you did some things You knew you shouldn't do.

But you have been forgiven And now at last you're free.
So won't you come and take my hand And share my life with me?

So when tomorrow starts without me, Don't think we're far apart,
For every time you think of me, I'm right here, in your heart.

God Bless You,
Denise

Denise Franklin <dfgabby42@aol.com>
Land O Lakes, FL USA - Tuesday, August 31, 2004 2:52 AM CDT

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It brings tears to my eyes to know you are hurting so badly and having such a difficult time. You deserve so much peace and joy out of life. You have such a good heart. I Prayed for you Sunday in church, and even if it doesn't seem like it I know G-D heard me and is working to make your life better. Hang in there.
Paloma
- Tuesday, August 31, 2004 2:48 AM CDT

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Judy, I am at a loss for words! (almost). First off, I think its good you were able to share what is really at the root of your pain. It isnt just julia although that is the biggest part. THe fact Jarrod is still struggling with his own demons when you all need him is to much! then add all the other stuff its just overwhelming. I think there is a coping that kicks in in disaster and your there. But God has carried you almost 1 yr through this. I believe in my heart that you will smile again and find happiness.No it wont be the same without julia, But Look at the tumbleweed foundation?? I would still be in the fetal position and you are making a difference in the midst of your pain.! your amazing as a mom, wife and friend. You succeed in all you do. and you will get through this. We will hold you up during this time. Just as you give unconditionally to so many, Your sooooo blessed for the so many many great people in your life, Mary Kitchen, Becky S, Tami , ANd the many many others I know im forgetting, But some have no one. ANd your 1 yr through what many are just facing. So try to count the blessings in the midst of your pain. Love you friend, I am just an email or phone call away.
Kim
IN - Monday, August 30, 2004 11:07 PM CDT

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Judy,
To bad that I don't live near you. I would just give you a BIG hug. I wouldn't say a thing since I know words can not stop the pain. Please know we wish you all the best.
Julie
www.caringbridge.org/ok/savannah
Julie Remington <Youthful64@aol.com>
Broken Arrow, OK USA - Monday, August 30, 2004 10:42 PM CDT

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Oh my gosh, Judy, that saying; "How lucky I am to have known someone who was so hard to say goodbye to" is perfect - it says so much. I've written it down and it will stay with me for awhile.

There are so many days I say, okay, enough, I want my old life back. I want Nolan back and Dave back and my mother-in-law. (2003 was a sucky year) I moved to Fresno to be a wife, not a widow. Well, now the tears are streaming again (not that they stopped since I read your post). Yes, I KNOW they are in a better place and are pain-free and that means a lot to me, it really does, but when will I (we) stop missing our loves? Ugh, this is NOT what we signed up for.

Well, dear one, I am told it will get easier ... my heart goes out to your entire family.

All my love to you,
~Tess (proud to have been Nolan's Aunt and Dave's Wife)
Tess Baker <tndbkr@aol.com>
Fresno, CA - Monday, August 30, 2004 10:20 PM CDT

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I know its been a while since I stopped in - but know you are thought of with love and admiration.

HUGS and LOVE,
Samantha <sletoile@msn.com>
Barrie, ON Canada - Saturday, August 28, 2004 8:15 PM CDT

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Just stopping in to let you know you are still in my thoughts and prayers. I try to keep up with your journal to see how you are progressing. My daughter gained her angel wings 19 days ago after she lost a very long battle with MPS. Your journal was an inspiration to me so I started one for Kaity a few weeks before she died. I would say my writing was long over due and has been therapeutic for me and I wish I had started it long ago. Peace, Love and Prayers to you.
Jessica
Angel Kaity’s Caring Bridge Site

Jessica Wellman <jessicalw@earthlink.net>
Crandall, IN USofA - Saturday, August 28, 2004 8:26 AM CDT

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Hi Judy -- I've been wanting to call you... been busy with house stuff... Should have everything somewhat caught up tomorrow... that's a big should but I'm trying... Been at a loss for words, out of breath busy, and missing Celeste. Not as many reasons to laugh around here anymore. What a nightmare to deal with tombstone problems. I just sent a check to the crematory for an urn and some keepsakes for Celeste's ashes... the obituary... It's hard enough to think about... much less do and then how are you supposed to know what's right or wrong. From where I am, you are doing everything right though... following your heart and continuing to do things for Jules... whatever it takes. We need to get together - I don't know how or when with all this stuff going on... but soon? ? xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoox
Tami <blessingsbyceleste@hotmail.com>
pgh, pa - Friday, August 27, 2004 9:46 AM CDT

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Hey, I hope all is well, I just thought I'd ask if you could please pray for my sister Kaylyn. Her tumor is back and she'll be having surgery on Wednesday and start chemo again. I don't even know what to think or how to feel. Why can't these things just go away?? I hope you and your family are good, and I'll still be praying for you. Thanks for everything....

http://www.caringbridge.org/sc/kaylynmei/
Erin <ccbubbless17@yahoo.com>
columbia, sc usa - Thursday, August 26, 2004 11:45 PM CDT

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First time to visit this site. Julia is so beautiful and preciousl. The words below were found somewhere, with our love and prayer we like to share with you.

Someone Is Praying For You
---------------------------
When you feel down,
and your world seems blue;
Remember,
someone is praying for you;

When the sun seems to dim,
and the day feels untrue;
Remember,
someone is praying for you;

Those hands that come together
in love and care;
Maybe small, smooth, or wrinkled,
but remember they are there;

Each day that's not full of sunshine,
but maybe dread and fear;
Someone is praying
for those they hold dear.

(www.caringbridge.org/oh/esther)
Benjamin, Paulina, Erin (Forever Family with Esther) <Mercy2Live@yahoo.com>
Dayton, OH US - Tuesday, August 24, 2004 5:58 PM CDT

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Judy,
I just wanted to let you know that I am thinking of you and your family. I am so glad to hear that you had a good time with your children, you all deserve it so much!

Love,
Betsy

Betsy Kuczynski <betsy-k@verizon.net>
Pgh, PA - Tuesday, August 24, 2004 3:49 PM CDT

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Thinking of all of you and your beutiful angel.

Love and continued prayers of comfort and peace...
Terry Snyder (Angel Jalen's "Am-Maw") http://www.caringbridge.org/fl/jalen <vix207@aol.com>
Royal Palm Beach, FL - Tuesday, August 24, 2004 10:30 AM CDT

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Praying Heaven continues to send blankets of LOVE to your house.
Paloma
- Monday, August 23, 2004 11:47 PM CDT

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Glad to hear you had a nice time with the kids this week. You all so deserved it. I am sorry this week will be hard for you all. I am glad things worked out with the stone, and that you found someone there to help you out.
Mary <MaryKitchen@Tumbleweedfoundation.org>
- Sunday, August 22, 2004 11:42 PM CDT

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Judy
Just stopping by to let you know, I am thinking of you and your family. I really Pray G-D sends you a very big breakthrough in your life. I wish you didn't have to struggle and fight so often. I Pray G-D sends Help and Blessings of all kinds, from every direction. You deserve the best.

I send Love and Prayers
Paloma
- Wednesday, August 18, 2004 11:09 PM CDT

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Judy, Hang in there You will Get there, It will all fall into place. Surely there is an after school program somwhere you kids can get into. Just try to hang on until you see the light at the end of the tunnel. I am praying for you all.
Kim <dakk2222@netnitco.net>
IN - Wednesday, August 18, 2004 6:07 PM CDT

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Thinking of you





Love Viks From Post Pals and Bears Who Care

viks <viks@postpals.co.uk>
- Wednesday, August 18, 2004 11:16 AM CDT

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You need real answers to your problems, I wish I had some. All I can offer is a hug and an encouraging word.
Shellie <khen608178@aol.com>
- Wednesday, August 18, 2004 9:24 AM CDT

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Judy,

Here's a cyber hug for you. Sounds like you need one right now.

{{{{{hug}}}}}

Hang in there darlin'. There are a bunch of us out here who keep you in our prayers.
Beth
- Wednesday, August 18, 2004 9:17 AM CDT

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Judy,
I am sorry things are never easy. I am sorry I am not closer to help you out with the kids. If I can do anything to help - make phone calls during the day while you are at work, or anything, I will be happy to help in any way I can.
Love, Mary <MaryKitchen@Tumbleweedfoundation.org>
- Tuesday, August 17, 2004 11:48 PM CDT

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Just had to let you know what a beautiful daughter. Her story has touched my heart. I found your site in Emotional site for sick children.
May you find peace within. Prayers are with you.
Berneice <charsmom79_98@yahoo.com>
Masontown, Pa USA - Monday, August 16, 2004 7:03 PM CDT

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Dear Judy,
Your sweet Julia. I can't imagine how you miss her. I just wanted to let you know that you are in my thoughts.
Love and healing
Bonnie <bonnievendola@hotmail.com>
ny - Friday, August 13, 2004 8:50 PM CDT

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Judy,
Had to pop in here and tell you what I saw this morning. It is really windy here and on my way out my driveway, I saw a yellow butterfly. She was being tossed around in the wind but she was determined to make it to my neighbor's Butterfly Bush. Once there, she landed and folded her wings.

Seeing that reminded me of Julia. She fought so hard but never gave up. She finally made it to her 'Butterfly Bush'- Heaven - where she no longer has to struggle against the wind. I know Julia flutters around you all the time - giving you comfort and watching over you.

The world is a better place because Julia was here. Please know that. She touched me and really had an impact on my life and how I see things. I only get upset at the really important stuff. That means that only the health and happiness of the ones I love matter. Little everyday battles are nothing. I thank Julia for showing me that.

Beth
- Friday, August 13, 2004 8:26 AM CDT

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Judy, I just wanted you to know I Love You!
Ami <rammaj_ami@hotmail.com>
- Thursday, August 12, 2004 8:12 PM CDT

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Judy,

Hi. I'm sorry I made you cry, but you have no idea just how much little Julia inspired me and made me determined to fight this thing to the end, no matter what the cost. It is because of what I read yesterday that I am still here, still kicking and ready to give Life my all. I go for Chemo in about an hour. My parents aren't quite sure what to think about my new attitude. The want to know what happend to thier crying, snivviling, feeling sorry for herself daughter that woke up yesterday morning and turned into a determind young woman yesterday afternoon who will meet Cancer head on and kick it right in the butt. I told them I met an Angel named Julia, and I did. I have 2 Angels watching over me now Judy. You here on Earth, and Julia in Heaven. You're my Angels. Thank you.

Love,

Kara

www.caringbridge.org/nc/karasue
Kara Sue <starchilds@speedpost.net>
Pilot Mountin, NC USA - Thursday, August 12, 2004 10:59 AM CDT

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Your emotions exude in the poem, and probably only barely scratch the surface of your pain. Thoughts and prayers continue to be with you!
Shellie <khen608178@aol.com>
- Thursday, August 12, 2004 9:38 AM CDT

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judy and family, your poem is beautiful. i admire your strength. you have been through the unimaginable and continue to make a difference in people's lives with the tumbleweed foundation. many thoughts and prayers to you and your family, angelique parker
www.caringbridge.org/oh/harleiparker
angelique parker <pfloyd326@yahoo.com>
ohio - Tuesday, August 10, 2004 11:37 PM CDT

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Judy, Beautiful poem Im crying . I cant believe its been almost a year. I know julia is so proud of you. As we all are the Love you. I cant type anymore, To many tears ill talk to you later
Kim <dakk2222@netnitco.net>
IN - Tuesday, August 10, 2004 11:15 PM CDT

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Judy,
the poem is beautiful. My heart aches for you, if there is anything I can do......

Love,
Betsy
Betsy Kuczynski <betsyalex@mail.com>
- Tuesday, August 10, 2004 9:46 PM CDT

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hi judy
what a beautiful poem ... a beautiful poem, for a beautiful little girl.
love abbie
«♥Angel Mitchell♥» <afraser1@tru.eastlink.ca>
tru, ns canada - Tuesday, August 10, 2004 9:13 PM CDT

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Judy,

I love you!!

Jodi
Sista <sckycujo@verizon.net>
- Tuesday, August 10, 2004 8:03 PM CDT

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Dear Judy,
Just thinking of you today, called to say hello and see how you are holding up. Reading your journal I to cannot believe it will be a year next month, this year has gone by so quickly. Please remember that we are all hear for you in more ways than one, what ever you need. Next month will be exceptional hard and we will all get you through it. I have such wonderful memories of Julia and Josh, all the kids....(to many to list) and I sit at times and cuss and ask G*d above why? Take care of yourself, I can hear in your voice you need a good rest! If you need me to take the kids for awhile call me. Love ya Jude.
Cathy <copalko@aol.com>
- Tuesday, August 10, 2004 6:08 PM CDT

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Dear Judy,
Just wanted you to know I am thinking of you today, and hope you had the best day you can. The year has flown in some ways. I have just been sitting here trying to understand the unfairness, but as usual, I have no answers.

As for people questioning why you were there for Tami - all I can say is they obviously do not know you. Knowing you, I could not imagine you being anywhere else, but beside your friend to support her.

You are in my heart, dear friend. Glad we got to go to the Car cruise together. I, too, hope we will be able to make it a yearly thing.
Love, Mary <MaryKitchen@Tumbleweedfoundation.org>
- Tuesday, August 10, 2004 4:25 PM CDT

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Hi Judy,
You and your family have been in my thoughts and prayers on this difficult day. I can't imagine the loss you feel.
Your website and story has touched my heart, and I will keep you and your family in my prayers.
Take care
Love,
Jen
Jen <jengoodnow@yahoo.com>
Concord, NH USA - Tuesday, August 10, 2004 3:37 PM CDT

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Hi Judy,
I can't imagine how hard it must have been for you to relive such painful times while helping to support Celeste's family. They must have appreciated you so much. I'm sorry your family is dealing with more sickness with your father-in-law. Please take care of yourself.
Kim Hart
Maumelle, AR - Monday, August 9, 2004 11:48 PM CDT

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Judy, thank you so much for being there for Tami and her family. I know that is not easy and the recent memories you have gone through must come rushing back (not that they are ever far away, I know). Anyway, I know it helps to help others, but still, you are a wonderful, caring person.
Love, Tess
Tess Baker <tndbkr@aol.com>
Fresno, CA - Sunday, August 8, 2004 11:19 PM CDT

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Judy, Julia was fluttering about all over today, Landed on my arm, in the garden, SHe was a little yellow butterfly, tiny, beautiful just like herself! People must think were nuts that we see butterflies and see say its julia, But it does make us feel better to think that. It just makes me smile and I feel peace, Call me crazy! it wouldnt be the first. I worry about you all the time. I get these strong feelings when I think things arent going well for you. I know your having such a hard time with celeste, and julias 1 yr coming up before long. I dont know why anyone would question why you would be with tami and jer 2 times in a day. Afterall you have been there you know how much the support means. Loosing celeste im sure was such an awful reminder of losing julia, Tami and you need each other. How often do you find such a good friend in the same town, that went through such an tragedy that you have also??? You were put in each others lives for a reason. I know your not doing good at all. Know I care and So do so many other people. Lean on us we will help you. Love ya
Kim <dakk2222@netnitco.net>
IN - Sunday, August 8, 2004 9:27 PM CDT

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May you somehow find comfort. You are not alone in your pain and sorrow.
Your page was found after reading about little Celeste in the Pittsburgh Post Gazette. We have candles ready and our thoughts go out to her family.
caringbridge.org/page/kaitlyn
Bobby Brown
Pittsburgh, PA - Friday, August 6, 2004 6:29 PM CDT

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I came across your website through another caringbridge angel tonight. You are in my prayers. Please know that you are not alone and may God hold you in his loving arms.
Darla Lindenmayer (Angel Matt's mom 7-3-90 - 4-22-04) <DLinden73@aol.com www.caringbridge.org/in/matthewlindenmayer>
Lexington, IN - Thursday, August 5, 2004 9:56 PM CDT

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Judy,
Yesterday was my baby's 2nd Birthday. Thanks to Julia, I never let a day go by where I don't hold my girls, kiss them, breath in their smell and tell them that I cherish them. Your love for Julia has taught me that we should never take a single second for granted. I will always be in debt to you for that lesson.
I wanted to tell you something that I am sure you already know. There is a bush out there called a Butterfly Bush. When it blooms, it attracts butterflies. My mom and neighbor have one and they really do work. I see butterflies fluttering around them all the time. I saw a yellow one yesterday and thought I Julia. I hope that you have lots of Butterfly Bushes in your yard for Julia to enjoy when she comes to visit.
Still thinking of you. Take care.
Beth
- Thursday, August 5, 2004 8:46 AM CDT

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Judy, I am officially worried. How are you?? where are you? probably busy like the rest of us, Just want to say Hi
Kim <dakk2222@netnitco.net>
IN - Saturday, July 31, 2004 10:16 PM CDT

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Hi Judy,
I’m sorry that you’ve never answered my emails but maybe one day you will be able to. I copied your journal and put the “Suggestions from One Who Hurts” up on the “Final Years” section of the MPS forum There were a few folks that could relate. ~Thanks

I’m glad to see you are still posting and keep everyone updated on your feelings. It is often hard for someone who has not walked our paths to grasp the grief of losing a child, but I am thrilled that you have so many supporters. Sometimes they are not quite sure what to say but just knowing they are there is sometimes a bit of comfort.

Many fellow MPS families having Caring Bridge sites and I have been so impressed that I started one for Kaity. I should have done it 13 years ago! I hope you can visit sometime. Kaitlynn’s Caring Bridge Page

You are in my thoughts,
Jessica
Jessica Wellman <jessicalw@earthlink.net>
Crandall, IN USA - Saturday, July 31, 2004 5:20 PM CDT

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JUdy, Hi hun, i am thinking of you and hoping your well. I cant believe its almsot august and back to school again! UGH!!! Its been a week since I heard from you so i wanted to say Hi. I am Praying you find peace within your life soon. Its so unfair, and you deserve to be happy! Julia would want that for you. We all do. How is jodi did she move yet? I havent seen her post in awhile I hope she is setteling in wherever.
Kim <dakk2222@netnitco.net>
IN - Friday, July 30, 2004 10:49 PM CDT

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Hi, My name is Jen and I live in New Hampshire. I just came across your daughter's beautiful page. Julia is so beautiful and sounds like a wonderful little girl. I am so very sorry for you loss, life is so unfair. I have cried as I read your journal entries, I can't imagine your pain. Your website is so moving, and your story has touched my heart. I will continue to look for updates on Julia's page and hope that you are all doing as well as possible with your loss.
Your family is now in my prayers.
Thank you for sharing your story.
-Jen
Jen <jengoodnow@yahoo.com>
Concord, NH USA - Friday, July 30, 2004 7:04 AM CDT

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Judy --- your last journal really let your inner self shine through. You have a beautiful inner self ! ! ! Julia just shines through you and I feel at peace just knowing you exist. You are one of the most dependable, honest, wonderful people I have ever met. Take comfort in yourself for the reflection of you in your beautiful children,
Tami <blessingsbyceleste@hotmail.com>
pgh, PA - Thursday, July 29, 2004 11:21 PM CDT

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Dear Judy...I was reading your most recent journal entry and my heart just weeps for your indescribable loss. I have never lost a child, so I won't pretend to know what you are dealing with since losing your precious angel Julia, but from everything I have ever heard, all the feelings you are grappling with are perfectly normal, and I bet you are STILL an awesome mommy to your other 3 sweeties. Please take some small comfort in the knowledge that we who are total strangers to you share in your pain and pray for God's healing peace. Only time will dull the pain. Surround yourself with positive, happy people and if you EVER need just to unload, please e-mail me!! I have very soft shoulders... Suzanne
Suzanne Gorman <sq6969@netzero.net>
Monmouth Junction, NJ USA - Tuesday, July 27, 2004 6:53 PM CDT

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JUST WANTED YOU TO KNOW THAT YOUR FAMILY IS IN OUR PRAYERS.

CARINGBRIDGE.ORG/WV/FREDAFOX
RUTH <BLUEEYED_FEMALE@MSN.COM>
HINTON, WV - Monday, July 26, 2004 3:48 PM CDT

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What wonderful suggestions you found on Celeste's site. some of us who have been with you for awhile need to remember that we still need to listen, and hug ya.

Lots of stuffed animals were sold today at the tournament on Tumbleweed's behalf. It was nice to see you there. Perhaps I won't have so many to give you for your road trip to the car cruise this week. Good luck there! sounds like a fun time.
Shellie <khen608178@aol.com>
- Saturday, July 24, 2004 8:55 PM CDT

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First I want to say that I deeply sorry for you loss. You have right to cry and if you need to cry, cry. Do not let anyone tell you that time will heal all wounds because there are some things that time doesnt heal, while in time it does become a little more bearable it never goes away... I have never lost a child but last August I lost my mom to colon cancer at age 44, my mom was my best friend and while I try to go on with my daily life, I still miss her more and more and sometimes I just need to cry because I miss her so much and just wish that for one more day I could have her back just to hug her and have "mommy and me days" like we had since I was a little girl. A bond between a mother and daughter is very unique. You take care of yourself and give your self time to heal...I will keep you in my prayers.
Celeste <cbowles@lagates.com>
Mt. Hope, WV USA - Friday, July 23, 2004 8:16 PM CDT

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I haven't signed your guestbook in awhile and I apoligize for that. You are still very much in my thoughts and prayers everyday. I am glad to see you are functioning as well as you are, but I know this is hard for you. I pray that you are having many good days where Julia comes to you through butterflies and many other things. Please forgive me for not visiting in awhile. I have missed reading your entries.

PS. Eight year old Isaac Tropple passed away early this morning from the same tumor Julia had. His battle was about the same length as Julia's. Right now his parents and little brother are hurting. I feel they could benefit from your words right now. Here is his website:

http://www.caringbridge.org/wa/isaac/

Bryanne Weaver <catdogbre83@yahoo.com>
Tahlequah, OK USA - Friday, July 23, 2004 7:30 PM CDT

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Judy, Hi friend, I have been having trouble with the guestbook loading for me, I had that same problem before with Maddies site. ANyway I finally got here yeah! I think of you and Pray for you all the time. I cant see a butterfly and not think of julia. She surely has touched so many lives. What you and mary are doing in her name with tumbleweed is awesome to say the least! I hope your life starts moving too, I know your so angry, and feel stuck with unbearable greif. Its normal to feel that way if it helps. In time it will get a little better. But Life will never be the same without julia in it. I wont lie and try to tell you it will, You know that. But you have the other kids and Life can be great with them. Just be patient awhile longer. I am praying you can reach to God In time as he is the only one who can pull you out. But I also do understand why your not there yet. Your blessed with many people who love and care for you. ANd will help you through. so be strong when you need to be and be weak when you need to be. As to why close friends disappear. I think they dont know what to say or dont want to cause you more pain. I dont think its anything other than that. Im praying for you dear! Love you. Im glad mary pointed out you hadnt updated in awhile I was going to! LOL
KIM <dakk2222@netnitco.net>
IN - Thursday, July 22, 2004 10:48 PM CDT

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Hey there sista!
It's been awhile since I've been on the site and even longer since I've written. It's funny how even hanging out with you on a daily basis, I still read things that you're feeling in your heart, instead of you telling me. I guess there's so much else going on that our conversations don't always touch the depthness of your journals. I understand 100% about your statements with the dear, good friends not being around and the new ones being there for you. I, too, have had that experience as you well know. I think it's the new people you meet/have met, or the people that you have reconnected with that have true genuine interest in your life's story. The ones that have turned their backs on you or I were never to be considered dear, good friends to begin with and how truly sad that is! At least we have eachother and that will be FOREVER!! Btw, for those that don't know and wouldn't know because Judy is a little slow in journaling these days, :) my children and I are NOT moving to Fla. We are staying here in Pgh. Fla would have been awesome, but it didn't work out and what better place to be then where family is. True family!
I love you Judy!
Peanuthead...we all miss you and love you more than words can ever express! Butterfly kisses and Angel hugs to you darlin'! Love Aunt Cashew, Kyra and Cullen
Jodi <sckycujo@verizon.net>
- Thursday, July 22, 2004 10:47 PM CDT

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HI JUDY! JUST WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW I WAS THINKING OF YOU. I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN ABOUT JUST GETTING THROUGH DAY BY DAY. HANG IN THERE. I FEEL FOR YOU!
KELLY HENDLER, RN. <kelklein@aol.com>
- Thursday, July 22, 2004 3:52 PM CDT

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Judy:

My heart goes out to you with the deepest of sympathies for the loss beautiful little Julia. Last summer my wife and I welcomed a baby girl born 9 weeks premature. She has had 5 surgeries already and needs several more – mainly to correct various birth defects. During her initial hospitalization (86 days) it surprised me that some of our closest friends were nowhere to be found (when we needed them the MOST), while at the same time, total strangers would write to us with amazing words of support and encouragement. Your recent posting made me reflect upon how I felt last summer when I couldn’t understand why some friends were there and others were just not. There is no answer to this, and as far as my experience, it’s not worth worrying too much about.

One of the books that my wife and I often read to our children is a book called “Baby Angels” – you’ve probably heard of it. It is my belief that your precious, beautiful little Julia is one of the baby angels whose job is to be there for other babies at their time(s) of need. So please take comfort in realizing that your daughter has touched the lives of many people she never met, whom you’ve never met, and we’re all grateful that you’ve shared your beautiful Julia with us. The next time I read “Baby Angels” to any of my kids, I will tell them that one of the baby angels is a special little girl named Julia – and that she’s there, all of the time, for the rest of us to be strong. And if we are good during our time on earth, children as well as grown-ups will be very lucky some day to meet a precious angel named Julia up in heaven.

Much love and prayers,

Dan Watkins

Dan Watkins <danwatkins@charter.net>
St. Louis, MO USA - Thursday, July 22, 2004 1:58 PM CDT

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stopping in to let you know that i was thinking about you.
we have been getting lots of rain lately and one of our downspouts drains in our 'angel garden'. after six consecutive hours of torrential rain (about 5 inches when it was all said and done), most of our angel stones had washed out into the grass. the only one that didn't go anywhere was Julia's, of course.
that made the job of straightening things a bit easier. with a smile on my face and your family in my heart, my daughter and i placed all the stones back in the garden, as we spoke of all the angel's we have stones for.

know that we think of you, and all the angels, daily. praying for continued strength and peace in your heart.
erika collier <erika_collier@hotmail.com>
tampa, fl God Bless the USA - Thursday, July 22, 2004 7:28 AM CDT

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I just thought I would add this to your guestbook.....If I was your friend, on a daily basis, I would have never left your side. I would still be there. Yes, our lives get busy and mine is most days. But I know I would have never stopped emailing because late at night, when everyone in my house is asleep, I take the time. You can email me and tell me all about Julia. I'd love to know more about her life and what she went through. I'd love to read about the day you had Julia, how much she weighed, how many inches long she was. How did you find out about her illness? Was she a happy baby? When did she sleep through the night? What did her older siblings think when you brought her home? How are they doing now without her? What kind of clothes did Julia like? What was her favorite show as a toddler? Was she easy to potty train? Tell me some funny things she did. I would love to hear about it. And even when I knew most everything there was to know about her, let's still talk about her. I know I am a stranger to you, but I do care. I look at her pictures and I see the picture of her sleeping on you on the main page and I cannot help but care very much. Maybe it would be easier emailing a stranger. Anyway, feel free to email me anytime.
Tracee <TraceeSaltz@mchsi.com>
Norwalk, Ia - Wednesday, July 21, 2004 6:43 PM CDT

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I stumbled upon the link to this site while visiting other Caring Bridge sites. A four year old friend of our family, Lucas Hammond, was diagnosed with Acute Lymphblastic Luekemia six months ago today. I've spent the majority of the afternoon following the links to stories of strength and courage. I admire you for sharing your story. I will remember your family and the journey you've taken in my prayers always.
Maja Schweiger <majas@yorku.ca>
Guelph, On Canada - Wednesday, July 21, 2004 2:11 PM CDT

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Jud, I know you haven't heard from me in quite awhile, but that doesn't mean that I don't have you guys on my mind...you are on my mind every day.You are in my heart and I will always love you. Julia visits us everyday....in the most amazing ways... The biggest butterfly in all of Texas hangs out in OUR front yard!!! and beautiful Rainbows that come from out of the blue. It was a year ago that I was ramblin across the states to see you and your gorgeous children. I want to be back there so incredibly bad ...
I know what terrible void fills your life and no matter what people say about how time heals, I know it sounds like a bunch of crap! People however, who love you, do help make it easier for time to pass. I don't know if that makes any sense or not, but I hope it helps.
I was told the other day that I have choices in my life. I'm having a hard time with that one because I look at it like this is what my life is, these are the "cards I've been dealt" (yeah right!) Now, I have to make the decisions that will help get me through those choices, no matter how much it sucks. Even though that void will never be filled.
(remember "footsteps"?)
It's not right that your little angel was taken from you. BUT (and there's always a but, isn't there?) hold on to those around you, let them help you, lean on them, know that they ARE there for you.
I know that I might be a half a world away, geographically...
You are NOT, however, that far from my heart.
XOXO
Your big sis, Am <Rammaj_ami@hotmail.com>
SugarLand, Tx - Wednesday, July 21, 2004 11:18 AM CDT

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Judy...My heart aches for you as I read your update. Please know you're in my continued thoughts and prayers.

Much love...
Terry Snyder (Angel Jalen's "Am-Maw") http://www.caringbridge.org/fl/jalen <vix207@aol.com>
Royal Palm Beach, FL - Wednesday, July 21, 2004 9:08 AM CDT

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This caught my eye on my email and I thought of you...

When you get to your wit's
end, you'll find God lives there.

I know words can't help, not even hugs and good thoughts. But the love of your children is your strength as they continue throughout their lives. How unfair that Jules isn't with us to continue that journey, but my how many of us have grown as we learn from her brief stay with us.

With continued love and prayers for your entire family...shellie
Shellie
- Monday, July 19, 2004 7:26 PM CDT

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Judy-

Your words feel like mine sometimes. I can't make any sense out of this situation either. I'm here with you and for you, if you need me. Hope to get together with you sometime.

Love,

Kelly, Samuel J's mama
http://www.caringbridge.org/pa/samuelj
Kelly
Pittsburgh, PA - Monday, July 19, 2004 2:30 PM CDT

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Judy,
I was just thinking of you, and had to stop in. I may not know you, but I do often think of your family. The day will come when you are ready to catch up, and then your good friends will be there for you, as well as other new people you have met along the way.
Donna Leischer <DMLeischer@wi.rr.com>
Mukwonago, WI US - Monday, July 19, 2004 9:21 AM CDT

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Judy, I still check your site almost daily. Although I don't know you personally, I still think of you and your family regularly. I'll send up extra prayers for you. I can't begin to imagine what you've been through!
Terri
Helena, GA - Monday, July 19, 2004 8:12 AM CDT

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Hello Judy,
Wow what a journal, I want you to know that we are all here for you. I may not see you 3-4 times a week anymore but please do not ever feel like We and I speak for my entire family are not here for you. I miss talking to you, seeing you, having the boys with Jacob, and just talking. I really hope you have not forgotten this. I told you a month ago to call me if you need me and I meant it. We talked today for sometime and it was great. I can not believe that in 2 months it will be a year also. I do not know how any parent, sib, or grandparent goes on....IT SIMPLY IS JUST NOT FAIR. We all miss Julia, Joshua had just spoke of her yesterday and it was so nice, he said "There she goes bowling again!" I had to laugh, he misses her so much. Judy, please do not forget we are all here for you and your family. You need us please pick up that PHONE or come by you are always welcome and do not forget that. We all love ya.

Julia,
Hey you little angel, thank you for the visit the other day. There is not a day that you are not thought of. I miss you soooooooooo very much honey girl.

Cathy <copalko@aol.com>
- Sunday, July 18, 2004 10:02 PM CDT

---

I'm so sorry that you've been feeling abandoned. I may not have emailed as often as I used to, I've been having trouble keeping up with the mail and prayer requests (prayer requests take priority). But you and your family are are still on my mind frequently and I pray often and ask others to pray also for you and your family.

I know its taken a tremendous amount of effort to get this far. And if even silently and prayerfully I will continue to send you my support and prayers. I'm glad to hear the kids are well.

G-D BE WITH YOU ALWAYS

Paloma
Paloma
- Sunday, July 18, 2004 3:53 PM CDT

---

PLEASE KNOW THAT EVEN THOUGH WE HAVE NEVER MET I AM HERE FOR YOU...THAT IS THE ONE THING THAT HAS AMAZED ME THROUGH THIS JOURNEY. THE PEOPLE WHO I THOUGHT WOULD BE THERE WERE NOT BUT THE STRANGERS WHO HAVE ENTERED OUR LIVES MADE UP FOR IT TENFOLD..

YOU ARE ALWAYS IN MY THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS.

DENISE AND STEVEN



http://www.caringbridge.org/ny/steven/ == Steven's website <DEE3MOM@YAHOO.COM>
LONG ISLAND, NY - Sunday, July 18, 2004 10:19 AM CDT

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hi judy
just know that theres alot of people out there in the world that think of you daily. i know when mitch first anniversary was getting closer i just wanted to scream to make the world stop. either the world should stop or to let me off but i made it threw i just kept thinking this is what mitch would want me to do. julia is helping you get threw it.
love abbie
«♥Angel Mitchell♥» <afraser1@tru.eastlink.ca>
- Sunday, July 18, 2004 9:48 AM CDT

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Judy,
I am not leaving you behind. I am beside you, here when you need me.
Love, Mary <MaryKitchen@Tumbleweedfoundation.org>
- Saturday, July 17, 2004 7:26 PM CDT

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Dear Judy,
My mom just read me your journal from today. She is typing this for me but these are ALL MY WORDS I'm not kidding

Your journal today is so sad and touching. What I hope you know that Julia is here, she is everywhere forever and every. Just look for her and there she is.

I never knew Julia but she taught me something huge. She taught me that there is no death.

With love from Arabella
Arabella Uhry <arabellamao@yahoo.com>
Ridgefield, CT USA - Saturday, July 17, 2004 6:41 PM CDT

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Dear Judy,
First of all, I have been having a really hard time lately. I miss your baby girl. It is all so unfair. So many good things are happening right now for the Foundation, and I am so greatful for that. I just hate that there is a need for the Foundation. I want to see Julia, have Hannah play with her, have you guys over... I could go on for hours with what I want. Which brings me to what happened today. We went out to the new house today, and Isa came with us, along with Sean. The girls were playing and saw a butterfly in the grass. Isa was able to pick it up. She said "HI" to it, and Goodbye, and let it go. It fluttered away for a second, and then landed on her. This happened 3 times. John told me about it. I told him it was Julia. He said it was the wrong color Butterfly! I explained that if it was a butterfly, it was Angel Julia.

This evening I was online, checking on some of my on-line friends (and noting that you had not updated! LOL) I emailed a friend and told her I was praying for her son, but I was having a hard time with prayer right now, and that I was doing my best, and would pray for some very specific things. At the same time I sent the message, I received a prayer from another friend, telling me that she was compelled to tell me she was praying for me, and that she felt I needed to know that. I was blown away. I felt I needed to come here and share the visit from Julia, and the email I received. It was pretty awesome.

Of course, tomorrow, most of the world that reads your pages will probably think I am a total flake! But I just want you to know that Julia has been to our new house, and was with Isa and Hannah, and I want you to know, you are always in my heart, dear friend.

Julia,
Thank you for being with the girls today. They have been talking about you all afternoon. Beautiful angel, we miss you.
Love, Mary, & Hannah <MaryKitchen@Tumbleweedfoundation.org>
- Friday, July 16, 2004 11:11 PM CDT

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Julia,

Just stopping by to say that you remain in our prayers daily. God Bless

Roy
Cheyenne's dad
www.caringbridge.org/tx/cheyenne5
Roy Fiveash <rfiveash@wcc.net>
San Angelo, tx - Friday, July 16, 2004 11:42 AM CDT

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Hi,
My name is Danielle Newman and I am from Brookings, SD. I found your site through a friend of mines little sister who is battling liver cancer. Julias story is amazing and beautiful. She is beautiful and I pray that you thank God everyday for giving you the time you had with her. I become inspired by reading all of these different stories, and I am angry at the same time. After reading most of your past journal entries I just had a feeling inside that I needed to write this entry. I dont know you and have no connetion to you, but I was soo touched by her story. May God bless you and your family everyday.
Peace, Love and Happiness.
Danielle Newman <dnewman_03@hotmail.com>
Brookings, SD - Thursday, July 15, 2004 11:41 AM CDT

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Judy, I am thinking of you and the family always. I am sorry to hear about your father in law. He will be in my prayers. Take care.
Angel Caitlin's Site
Aleta, Mommy to Angel Caitlin <agunn@optonline.net>
West Nyack, NY - Wednesday, July 14, 2004 11:57 AM CDT

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Hi Judy, how are you?? What is New? how are the kids? and jarrod? i am thinking about you all!
Kim
In - Tuesday, July 13, 2004 9:16 PM CDT

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Judy,
Your Julia is very beautiful. I am truly sorry for your loss. I too lost my son Jakob to this disease on December 27, 2003. I read some of your past journals and was shocked to read about the final night and morning of Julia's life, it was as if you were writing Jakob's last night. I never had the courage to tell others of what Jakob went through (what we all endured) that last night. Praying so hard for your child to just go in peace has to be the most difficult thing a parent will ever be burdened with. Wanting the pain to stop but not wanting to let go has to be the most difficult battle. Your words, your experience has helped me. I have been carrying a ton of guilt about that night and seeing that you were able to feel that inner peace knowing that Julia was in a better place helps. I remember a feeling like that just after Jakob passed, I too was holding him when he took his last breathe and a sense of peace rushed through me so quickly I almost missed it, it was then that I knew Jakob had gone to heaven. I will pray for you and your family.

Lori -- Angel Jakob's Mom www.caringbridge.com/sd/jakobbeier <lorib@museumpark.net>
Chicago, IL - Monday, July 12, 2004 11:27 AM CDT

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I don't even know you personally just through here. But I was in my parents back yard today and saw a butterfly and it reminded me of Julia
Amy <jessibubba@comcast.net>
Pittsburgh, PA - Friday, July 9, 2004 2:16 PM CDT

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Hi Judy-

I just wanted to check in. Sorry it's been so long. I've been having a hard time myself. I think of you often, and hold you guys in my prayers. Hope to see you soon.

Love,

Kelly, Samuel J's mama
http://www.caringbridge.org/pa/samuelj
Kelly
Pittsburgh, PA - Friday, July 9, 2004 6:47 AM CDT

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Hi Judy --- Julia was definitely there... it was so awesome that I brought Celeste a big butterfly back from the dollar store right when I saw you were at the house :))) Come by anytime that we're here... seriously... don't ever feel not welcome here... you are such a source of strength and friendship and hope --- you always have a way of feeling positive and keeping me up and up instead of where I could be... allowing me to feel that I am not walking on this path alone... I love you for that and just for you being who you are and sharing it with our family ! ! ! Please give kisses to the kids for me ---
Tami <blessingsbyceleste@hotmail.com>
pgh, pa - Wednesday, July 7, 2004 11:06 AM CDT

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Judy, Gosh your entries always make me smile and cry. The stuff justine and the kids asked julia. WOW Do you still like teletubbies?? I wish the nightmare would end. Its like Never ending. Im praying for your father in law and jarrod. ANd of course you and the kids. Summer is going b quickly. ANd butterflies are all about. I bet celeste is just georgeous her pictures are. Really handsome family. Your a great friend to be there for tami after all you just went through it less than a year ago. Your 1 in a million.
Kim <dakk2222@netnitco.net>
IN - Tuesday, July 6, 2004 9:09 PM CDT

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Ask my Mom how she is
My Mom, she tells alot of lies
she never did before.
From now until she dies,
she'll tell a whole lot more.
Ask my Mom how she is
and because she can't explain,
She will tell a little lie
because she can't describe the pain.
Ask my Mom how is she,
She'll say "I'm alright."
If that's the truth, then tell me,
why does she cry each night?
Ask my Mom how is she,
she seems to cope so well.
She didn't have a choice you see
nor the strength to yell.
Ask my Mom how she is,
"I'm fine, I'm well, I'm coping."
For Gods sake Mom, just tell the truth
just say your heart is broken.
She'll love me all her life,
I loved her all of mine.
But if you ask her how is she
she'll lie and say she's fine.
I am here in Heaven.
I cannot hug from here.
If she lies to you don't listen,
Hug her and hold her near.
On the day we meet again,
we'll smile and I'll be bold.
I'll say, "You're lucky to get in here, Mom
with all the lies you told!"
Brenda <brurka@shaw.ca>
EDMONTON, AB CANADA - Monday, July 5, 2004 0:15 AM CDT

---

I said a Prayer for you and your family in church today.

PEACE and BLESSINGS

Paloma
- Sunday, July 4, 2004 3:06 PM CDT

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Hi Judy,
I can't remember if I've ever signed before...but, I have visited a few times. Your journaling is beautiful. I'll spare you platitudes, just want you to know you've been in my heart & in my thoughts...and will be. I'd love to meet you sometime.
Love,
Cary (Sofie's mom...www.caringbridge.org/pa/sofiemae)
Cary Snyder <snyder8@verizon.net>
Pittsburgh, PA - Friday, July 2, 2004 1:43 PM CDT

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Hi Judy,
I can't remember if I've ever signed before...but, I have visited a few times. Your journaling is beautiful. I'll spare you platitudes, just want you to know you've been in my heart & in my thoughts...and will be. I'd love to meet you sometime.
Love,
Cary (Sofie's mom...www.caringbridge.org/pa/sofiemae)
Cary Snyder <snyder8@verizon.net>
Pittsburgh, PA - Friday, July 2, 2004 1:05 PM CDT

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Judy, im thinking of you . it was pretty neat that jarods dad saw julia, How reassuring that she is o,k od will take care of her in heaven but tis great to be reinded and KNOW. Im glad he was able to give you that peace, and im glad he is improving.
Kim <dakk2222@netnitco.net>
IN - Thursday, July 1, 2004 9:10 PM CDT

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So glad to hear that Julia is showing you signs. I'm always so thankful each and every time I get one.

You're in my thoughts and continued prayers...
Terry Snyder (Angel Jalen's "Am-Maw") http://www.caringbridge.org/fl/jalen <vix207@aol.com>
Royal Palm Beach, FL - Thursday, July 1, 2004 10:14 AM CDT

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Julie I am so sorry for your loss-my grandaughter Isabel also has an inoperable tumor in the thalmus which has radiated into her left temporal lobe.she is 5 years old and is going through tests because she has seizures. Please stay in touch so I know you are on an even keel as I do not know whzat the future holds for us!! Her page is caring bridge.org/ca/isabel.Love Grandma Lenny
Lenore Neidorf <neidorf@sbcglobal.net>
Encino, CA USA - Wednesday, June 30, 2004 12:54 AM CDT

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always praying for peace in your hearts and complete healing for everyone.
know that you are never far from my thoughts and prayers.
erika collier <erika_collier@hotmail.com>
tampa, fl God Bless the USA - Wednesday, June 30, 2004 9:48 AM CDT

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Hey Judy,
Glad Jarrod's Dad continues to improve. I felt such peace when you told me that he had seen Julia. You are right - it is good to get that validation that she is happy. Good luck to the Pirates tomorrow night! Way to go Tine with getting the game ball! Great job! Hope the tests go well this morning on your hand. CTS stinks! I will talk to you soon. Love nad Hugs to you guys.

Love, Mary <MaryKitchen@TumbleweedFoundation.org>
- Wednesday, June 30, 2004 6:03 AM CDT

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Judy, I was thinking of you and some other families so much today. I think Im loosing my mind or spending to much time on caringbridge (NAH NEVER) I saw a child that looked like julia, one that looked like celeste. and maxie L. It made my eyes well up with tears. I just watched them play as I watched my boys play. ANd wonder why kids Loved so much are so sick or not here anymore. Then I heard this awful screaming and crying and went to find out where it was coming from. right around the corner a little 5 yr old black boy was dragging hus baby sister about 2 yrs old if that across the concrete trying to drag her into an 18 inch area of water . she was histerical No parent or grown up around anywhere. I scooped her up in my arms and said its o.k where is mommy. Well we couldnt find mommy anywhere she was on some big slides! the police told me and left her kids alone! I was so Ticked off that these kids were neglegeted uncared for obviously. and they were so little to be by water alone. She was a beautiful little girl under all thse tears I could of took the sweet thing home with me. Just makes me realize how unfair life is. Sorry to ramble but thats why I was thinking so much of you today. You would do anything to see and hold julia again and this mom could care a less where they were at. I hated to let them give her back to mom. anyway I was at 2 young funerals this month kids under 9 yrs old. Awful tragedys And they all make me think of the special caringbridge familes i have met along the way. good luck with your tests.
Kim <dakk2222@netnitco.net>
IN - Tuesday, June 29, 2004 9:54 PM CDT

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Hey Jude,

I must write in this book tonight because like you I had something very weird happen to me today, I was looking, and looking for this site on the computer today @ work and could not get into it. I heard a noise like papers rustling and there was no one in the office but me, I guess she was telling me I was doing something wrong, not even a radio sound... complete silence!!!! I just believe she was telling me how to figure this out, and needless to say I did.....

Jules,
Missing you soooooooo very much these days...We love you honey..

Cathy & The Boys.
Cathy <copalko@aol.com>
- Tuesday, June 29, 2004 9:24 PM CDT

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I will pray for you and your family!
Kelly Hendler R.N. (WPH, ICU)
- Monday, June 28, 2004 8:52 PM CDT

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HI Judy and family. I don't know about you guys, but I'm worn out after that Pirate game yesterday. The team really fought hard to come back and win that game. What did Justine do wth her game ball?
Here's hoping for a great week for you.

Shellie <khen608178@aol.com>
- Monday, June 28, 2004 11:13 AM CDT

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to Jacob

May G-D keep him blanketed in HIS Love at all times

G-D Be With You All!!!

And May the Angles Bring You lots of this
Paloma
- Thursday, June 24, 2004 0:01 AM CDT

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Happy Birthday Jacob! Your so cute! My little boy is turning 4 in august. Hey How Does MIss Mary Kitchen do such cute animation thingys??? Tell me Miss marys secret . But dont say HTML that confuses me! LOL well sweetie You have a special day. Big sissy julia loves you.
KIm <dakk2222@netnitco.net>
IN - Tuesday, June 22, 2004 9:55 PM CDT

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Happy Birthday to You Jacob! Wow Four years old. Hope you had a wonderful day and see you soon.

Judy, Jerry & Ruth, Thinking about all of you, and sending many prayers for Mr. Levy. Hoping all turns out well.

Julia,
Missing you Angel, we all love you. Joshua was chasing you all around the terrace today. Love seeing you visit never stop! KISSES AND HUGS xoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox
Cathy <copalko@aol.com>
- Tuesday, June 22, 2004 8:32 PM CDT

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Hey Judy!!

You and the entire family are in my prayers... Tell Nan I send my love and I'm praying for her and Pap!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JAKE!! May you have a very fun year!

Carla <carlaj@zoominternet.net>
Butler, PA - Tuesday, June 22, 2004 4:15 PM CDT

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HAPPY BIRTDHAY JACOB!!!! WOW! FOUR YEARS OLD!!!!!

Cameron,Scott,Jessica & Ivy

Judy
Congratulaitons for baby Jakey!!!

Each and every time I see a I can't help but immediately think about Julia and wish for G-D to Bless her and you all. I even saw online a species of butterfly called "Juila".

I don't know Judy if you realize that at your weakest and most painful moments you have become a living miracle, an incredible source of inspiration and yes even a tower of strength for others (even if you are having a moment where you maybe wondering where yours temporarily disappeared to)

You and your family have forever touched my Heart and Life. I Pray for you often and hope the days get easier and less complicated.

Know that never-ending Blessings are on their way.

JudyJarrod
May you both be BLESSED by all the LOVE in the Universe!!!!!!

Hi Judy
I'm so happy to hear all the good news. I'll still be praying for you all.



G-D BLESS

Judy
I'm so glad you had the chance to get away. I hope things get easier soon. Please take care of you too.

G-D BLESS

Please feel free Judy, to use this, if you'd like?

<zackysmom@city-net.com>
- Thursday, February 19, 2004 8:40 AM CST

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Judy,
I am so glad you had a nice day. Julia is. as always, the perfect Angel.

Julia,
Hope you had fun today, and caught all of your balloons! Sorry a few of them came later! Hannah and Danny and Zack all sang Happy Birthday to you before bed. WE miss you so much.
Love, Mary, & Hannah, Katie, John, Zack, & Danny <zackysmom@city-net.com>
- Thursday, February 19, 2004 6:55 AM CST

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Happy Birthday Julia!!! I hope all the angels in heaven sang a special song just for you today.
Judy, that is so neat that you could visit Tami, Celeste, and the babies! It was a beautiful way to celebrate Julia.
With lots of love and hugs,
Lorraine <loralof@yahoo.com>
- Thursday, February 19, 2004 0:14 AM CST

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Happy birthday baby girl. If I could see through the tears right now, after reading all the entries, especially the one from your Daddy. I come here every day sweetie. I hope and pray for your Mommy, Daddy, brothers and sister. EVery day.
Happy birthday in heaven angel.
Nancy(bratt) <thebratt72@hotmail.com>
- Wednesday, February 18, 2004 9:33 PM CST

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Happy Birthday Angel Baby..........you are missed very much!! I got a tumbleweed shirt from Mary the other day and your smiling face brought tears to my eyes....how beautiful you are! Jarred your post touched my heart! I think of the Levy family EVERYDAY! Saying prayers for you all! Much love, Michelle
Michelle Phillips <jusm4us@hotmail.com>
St. Paul, VA - Wednesday, February 18, 2004 8:52 PM CST

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Happy Birthday Angel Julia!

To Mommy, Daddy & Family,
I know this day must be difficult for all of you but I hope you were able to enjoy precious memories and a great celebration for the birthday of your beautiful little girl. You are in my thoughts and prayers especially today.

Trish <trishrbarnett@aol.com>
Florence, AL USA - Wednesday, February 18, 2004 8:44 PM CST

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY JULIA!!! For such a small little girl, you have had a great big impact on many many lives. Your spirit will live on forever! I too realeased a Dora balloon for you today! Happy Birthday Sweet Angel Girl!
Betsy <Betsyalex@mail.com>
- Wednesday, February 18, 2004 6:59 PM CST

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Julia,

I hope you got each and every balloon that we all (Nan,Pap,Mommy,Daddy,Jordan,Justine,Jacob,me,Kyra,Cullen,Cathy,Joshua,Nathaniel,Zachary,Grandma,PaPa,Davina,Chuckie)released to the sky for you today on your birthday!!!
Happy Birthday Sweet Sweet Angel!!!

We Love You,
Aunt Jodi, Kyra and Cullen
Jodi <sckycujo@verizon.net>
- Wednesday, February 18, 2004 5:50 PM CST

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Hi Judy, Jarrod, Jordan, Justine and Jacob,

Thinking of you all and Angel Julia on her birthday -- Hope you all had a wonderful day remembering and celebrating. Julia, we are all so sad and missing you so much, but we must remember that you are truly an Angel now and so close to G-D. Reach out and touch your family with your love and ask G-D to comfort them and replace their anger, grief and sadness with happiness and peace.

Jarrod, it was wonderful hearing from you -- it was an answer to a lot of prayers. It took a lot of courage for you to share with us. Keep up the good work. Know that we are all here for you and Judy.

Love, peace and blessings
Clare S. <m60cs@aol.com>
Pittsburgh, PA - Wednesday, February 18, 2004 5:19 PM CST

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Hi Judy and the rest of the family..
Hoping you guys had a wonderful day celebrating your precious Julia's Birthday!!....You are definitely in my thoughts and prayers...Hope all is well!!

Julia...
I hope you will shine some light down to your family on your first birthday up in heaven...hope you day is filled with McDonald's food and butterflies..
You are truly loved and missed by everyone (even people like us who have never met you)
Take Care. Love, Sarah Lorge
Sarah Lorge <sarah.lorge@allina.com>
Andover, MN USA - Wednesday, February 18, 2004 3:34 PM CST

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Happy Birthday Sweet Angel Julia! Be sure to surround your family with extra love & butterfly kisses! Dear Levy Family, my thoughts and prayers are with you! May G-d give you the strength to get through this difficult day!
Kathy
- Wednesday, February 18, 2004 3:33 PM CST

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Happy Julia Day Levy family! I know today is a difficult day for you guys, I hope everyting is going ok. I am thinking of you this day.
Bryanne Weaver <weaverbj@nsuok.edu>
Tahlequah, OK USA - Wednesday, February 18, 2004 3:18 PM CST

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Happy Birthday Angel Julia. Remembering you with love and prayers on this your special day.


Smile Quilts Angels <smilequilts@smilequilts.com>
- Wednesday, February 18, 2004 2:32 PM CST

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Dear Levy Family,
My thoughts and prayers are with you today and always.May you find comfort in the strength of family~to have each other to lean on is so important.Blessings to you all during your journeys in life as you heal,love and grow together.~*~*Happy Heavenly Birthday Sweet Angel~*~*
Dawn <dawnaree9@aol.com>
Pittsburgh, Pa U.S.A - Wednesday, February 18, 2004 2:22 PM CST

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Happy Birthday Julia --- Forever in our hearts

Much love and support to all the Levy's


Toth Family <Cindy.Toth@vai-inc.com>
Pittsburgh, PA USA - Wednesday, February 18, 2004 1:32 PM CST

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY PRECIOUS!
Michele <mash128@hotmail.com>
Winona, MN - Wednesday, February 18, 2004 12:01 AM CST

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~*~*~*Julia*~*~*~

Stopping by to wish you a VERY Happy Heavenly Birthday, sweetheart! I'll be thinking of you on this, your special day, all day long. I even have a candle lit to help celebrate this very special day.

Sending lots and lots of BIG 'Happy Birthday' hugs and MUCH love your way!!!

~*~*~*Samantha Therese*~*~*~

Shannon, Jeff & Samantha Therese <humphity319@aol.com>
#24 - Wednesday, February 18, 2004 11:52 AM CST

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Hello Levy's!!

Happy Birthday, Julia!! I couldn't help but think of the early surprise party we had for you last year when you visiting us everyday in the hospital. I will be eatting my own bowl of mint choc. chip ice cream today to celebrate your very special day. I am very sure that it will be hard for you to keep up with all of the parties that will be had for you, but you know where you'll be needed the most... right at home!! Keep your angel wings wrapped really tight around everyone so they know you are there!!

Love,


Carla <carlaj@zoominternet.net>
Butler, Pa - Wednesday, February 18, 2004 11:13 AM CST

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Dear Julia, Judy, Jarrod and family,
Happy Birthday dear sweet ANGEL JULIA!!! I hope you have ANGEL CAKE TODAY!!

Jarrod, I just want to say your entry is very beautiful, you have ever right in the world to feel the way you do, this is the worse time of your life, I don't know what it feels like to lose a child, and I hope I never do, up until 2 weeks ago, I hadn't expienced a great lose, but my dad died 2 wweks ago, he lived with us, and I saw that man everyday, he didn't die of any long illness, he just went out for the day, had a heart attack and never came back to us,, I am 41 and I feel lost, I need my daddy,, I know that sounds childish, but its true,, I will always be his little girl, and it hurts like hell to know I can't see his beautiful face again, he was my rock!! he loved me uncondtionally and he always gave me hugs and kisses.
Please get better soon and go back to your family, they love you so much and need your loving arms around them, you all have to bare this sorrow together, unfair as it is. you need to be with all the people who need you the most, daddy's need to be home. I commend you on your honesty and your heart felt feelings, keep up the good work, and hurry home.

With Love from the Schmartz Family
Linda, John, Austyn and Rachel
Linda Schmartz <Katausrac3@aol.com>
So Glastonbury, Ct - Wednesday, February 18, 2004 9:41 AM CST

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Jarrod, That was beautiful! Really. Judy really needed that. We all did, I mean everyone has prayed and prayed for you and this is a positive sign that God did hear our prayers. I have a new found respect for you. I thought you just ran out. Knowing that your still want to be with your family is wondeful, Im sorry you lost your little tumbleweed, it isnt fair, But judy and the 3 other kids adore and need you. And you need them. Together you will endure this. May God continue to Bless you. WE LOVE your wife she is the Best!
Kim <dakk2222@netnitco.net>
IN - Wednesday, February 18, 2004 8:50 AM CST

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Sweet Angel Julia,
Happy 1st birthday in heaven. I know you must be having a huge celebration up there. I'm gonna stuff my face with a big bowl of mint chocolate chip ice cream tonite and think of you. Keep close to mommy and daddy and brothers and sister. They're gonna need it today.
Love Jenn
JENN <stephmc03@hotmail.com>
Essex, Ontario, CANADA - Wednesday, February 18, 2004 7:57 AM CST

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Happy Birthday, Julia. You are missed by so many, but everyone knows you are in a better place. They cherish your memories and keep you alive in their hearts. Keep visiting your family often, it makes them so happy.
Mary Jo Horgan <horganmj@wpsbc.org>
- Wednesday, February 18, 2004 7:06 AM CST

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Judy-
The celebration you have all planned for JUlia's Birthday sounds wonderful! I know she is so proud to have you all as her family! Happy Birthday, Julia!!! May your family and friends celebrate your life always!

DJA <carterbean@adelphia.net>
- Wednesday, February 18, 2004 6:42 AM CST

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dear sweet julia happy birhtday sweetie !!

I'm spending my birthday in Heaven this year,
with Jesus and Angels singing birthday cheers,
I feel so happy and peaceful here,
so try and wipe away those tears.

My birthdays on earth that I spent with you,
are my happiest memories, I hope you know thats true,
all your love and support really helped me through,
I'm in Heaven now and my love shines on you.

I know you'd rather I be with you today
it's a special day for us all, it's my birthday,
but I am not really gone away,
smile, I'm celebrating in Heaven for our special day.

I'm an Angel now, so I can be anywhere,
so I am here in Heaven, and with you there,
I love and miss you, you must be aware,
I'm celebrating in Heaven, and celebrating with you there.

~I know you understand why I am here~

I'm spending my birthday in Heaven this year,
with Jesus and Angels singing birthday cheers,
I feel so happy and peaceful here,
so try and wipe away those tears

«♥Angel Mitchell♥»

love abbie <afraser1@tru.eastlink.ca>
- Wednesday, February 18, 2004 6:35 AM CST

---

Happy Birthday Angel Julia!!! Fly and be free but please stay close to Mommy and Daddy, they miss you so very much. Help Daddy continue to find his way back from the living hell that he is fighting back from. It is so obvious how much his family misses him and wants to have him home again. I, too, will never understand why heaven needs the littlest angels.

Happy Birthday Miss Butterfly!!!!!!

Terri <tlc2866@sbcglobal.net>
Manchester, CT - Wednesday, February 18, 2004 6:27 AM CST

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My little Peanuthead Angel,

Happy Birthday Sweetheart!!! We all miss you terribly!!! Keep fluttering around Mom, Dad, Jordaboo, Tine and Jakey!! Fly high and keep smiling on this, your special day and everyday! Don't ever stop being happy and free, that's what makes Mommy handle every new day a little better.

Happy Birthday!! We love you and miss you sooooooooooo much!!!
Aunt Cashew, Kyra and Cullen
Aunt Jodi <sckycujo@verizon.net>
- Wednesday, February 18, 2004 6:07 AM CST

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY SWEET ANGEL! WE LOVE YOU SO MUCH! Enjoy all of the balloons you get today! Hannah will be singing to you all day! You are the sweetest, most beautiful Angel, and you are loved and remembered forever. You are sooooo missed. Hugs to you Angel girl.
Love, Mary, & Hannah, Katie, John, Zack, & Danny <MaryKitchen@Tumbleweedfoundation.com>
- Tuesday, February 17, 2004 11:44 PM CST

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I stopped by Julia's website to remember her on her birthday and suddenly this old song came to my mind. It is a Burt Bacharach/Hal David song. I wish your family all the love in the world.

What the World Needs Now is Love


What the world needs now is love, sweet love
It's the only thing that there's just too little of
What the world needs now is love, sweet love,
No not just for some but for everyone.

Lord, we don't need another mountain,
There are mountains and hillsides enough to climb
There are oceans and rivers enough to cross,
Enough to last till the end of time.

What the world needs now is love, sweet love
It's the only thing that there's just too little of
What the world needs now is love, sweet love,
No, not just for some but for everyone.

Lord, we don't need another meadow
There are cornfields and wheat fields enough to grow
There are sunbeams and moonbeams enough to shine
Oh listen, lord, if you want to know.

M. Elton
Richmond, VA - Tuesday, February 17, 2004 11:16 PM CST

---

Judy,
You are in my thoughts and prayers everyday, more so on your Angels Birthday. I can't think of a better way to celebrate Julia's birthday! I admire your strength and courage and the will you have to go on. Your 4 children are truly blessed to have you as their mom. You are an inspiration to all!
Love, Betsy
Betsy Kuczynski <betsyalex@mail.com>
- Tuesday, February 17, 2004 10:12 PM CST

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Keepilng your family in my prayers. Look forward with all your wonderful memories. Pat
LEXY’S WEBSITE


Pat Newton <pnewt4@aol.com>
Nederland, Tx - Tuesday, February 17, 2004 8:38 PM CST

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Jerry,

It's nice to see you adding to the website that has been apart of Judy's life for quite some time now. I hope you truly are on your way to recovery. I know it would mean the world to Judy and the children if you were all together again, in a healthy way. Good luck on your road to a better place.

Jodi

Jodi <sckycujo@verizon.net>
- Tuesday, February 17, 2004 8:20 PM CST

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Julia,

Well Honey I could not wait until Midnight to wish the best Angel in the world a HAPPY BIRTHDAY. Sweet lil' one we miss you soooooooo much, All three boys looked out the windown tonight and wished you a great big Happy Birthday. Life just is not the same without you for so many people just continue to send those little surpises especially to Mommy!! We love you bunches xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo!!
Andy, Cathy, Joshua, Nathaniel and Zachary <copalko@aol.com>
- Tuesday, February 17, 2004 6:53 PM CST

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Jarrod,
That was a very well written entry. I am happy that you have finally wrote, along with many other people. Andy and I are wishing you the best of Luck. I have told Judy a million and one times that it is very nice to have all of you as part of our lives now. The same goes for you if there is anything you need or and ear to listen give us a call.


Cathy <copalko@aol.com>
- Tuesday, February 17, 2004 6:47 PM CST

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Hi,this is Jarrod. I want to thank all of you who have supported our family. We love you and are so blessed to have you all in our life! This is my very first entry,life just seemed so unfair that I just wanted to give-up. I am so blessed and did not even see it underneath all of my self-centeredness. Judy is one of the strongest women I have everknown! She has demonstrated such courage. I could not bear the pain so I did what I knew I numbed myself. I am ashamed of my behavior. I am however working very hard to make the changes that will allow me to take my place where I belong, that is with my family.I want to thank everyone who has prayed for me and our family. I truely believe in the power of prayer! G-d is good. I know he is with us even though I don't understand why he needed my sweet little baby girl so much that she is gone from our lives only to live on in our hearts and minds. I will always have an empty spot in my heart. I miss you Julia aka my little tumbleweeed. Love,Hope&Faith Is what g-d wants us to do and have in our lives. I want to thank everyone from the bottom of my heart. Your support means so much to us. Jarrod
jarrod levy <jarrodsjob@yahoo.com>
pittsburgh, pa - Tuesday, February 17, 2004 10:51 AM CST

---

I love you my friend!
Mary Tumbleweed Foundation <MaryKitchen@Tumbleweedfoundation.com>
- Monday, February 16, 2004 8:04 PM CST

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Hi Judy!!

I say you definitely need to celebrate Julia's birthday in whatever way you feel best. I recently had another family who lost a child and had an all day birthday party for him at home. They had all of his favorite things and shared memories and tears. You need to do whatever you need to do to get thru that day, Julia will be with you irregardless!! You know i'm praying for you and the family!!

Love
Carla <carlaj@zoominternet.net>
Butler, Pa - Monday, February 16, 2004 7:29 AM CST

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Hey Judy - wondering how I can get one of those bears and tell everyone I know about them??? I sure as heck don't have much but I will try to do what I can to help. I know how it sucks to ask for help but everyone there with you through this loves you and wouldn't think of existing any other way. You will prevail over the difficulties, no matter what it takes. I pray for your strength as a family and for your love to prevail over all these difficulties in this thing called life. Also, I'll be thinking about you (okay, even more than usual) Wednesday. If you're not too busy that day, I know I don't have any plans other than to be thinking about Julia. Maybe I can make dinner here or something? Just so you know, you are one of the only people in the world who Celeste has been happy around even on the decadron of decadron days... Maybe it's Julia with you that makes her feel so uniquely calm. She still talks about Angel Julia and thinks the world of Jordan, Justine & Jake too... we miss you. Positive note... Julia's birthday - what a blessing to behold forever and ever and ever ! ! ! We'll be blowing kisses to the sky but will have to wait for hugs in Heaven.
Tami (Celesteproud mama!) <blessingsbyceleste@hotmail.com>
pgh, pa - Sunday, February 15, 2004 11:53 PM CST

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Friends Of Judies. I just want to say thank you to those who have stepped up to help judy and the kids during this difficult time. I know God will bless you for taking a leap and helping. For those who Havent yet, Take a leap its much better to give than receive Honestly. And it will come back to you. Judy..... I think the plans for julias Birthday are great actually. I dont know how you plan a celebration when your baby isnt here. I mean us moms plan around the months are children are born for birthdays ect. I think you will have a void Forever . But I think Or My pray for you is, That you will feel less pain as time goes by and now that our time on earth is short! Eternity is forever and you will be in Eternity with julia. I think of earth as doing time until we are free to go. Although Earth / doing time can have its moments of Pain and Joy its nothing to heaven so prepare for better days! I think things here are going to start looking up too! So Hang in there. You are so special and you are loved!
Kim <dakk2222@netnitco.net>
IN - Sunday, February 15, 2004 9:01 PM CST

---

Hey Judy, just checking up on you and I hope you have had a good day.
Bryanne Weaver <weaverbj@nsuok.edu>
Tahlequah, OK USA - Sunday, February 15, 2004 6:24 PM CST

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hey, i got your site from angel mitchells, wanted to come and meet this wonderful angel. love craig and helen

CRAIG-CHANCE'S LIL BRO
craiggy <trula@access4less.net>
- Sunday, February 15, 2004 3:54 PM CST

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HI Judy,
I got to your daughters website through another childs. Your daughter was truly beautiful. And now she is a beautiful angel. It gives me comfort to know that my son Adam is in the company of so many other wonderful children, and they are all happy! Love, Adam's mom
Holly Kindell <dkindell@kenton.com>
Kenton, Oh USA - Sunday, February 15, 2004 1:37 PM CST

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hi judy
i just read your journal entry , mitchs birthday is tommorw and he would of turned 13, tommorw we are goign to the cememtry with ballons then out to eat at mitch favorite place he loved to eat. hopefully that can give you some idea on would to do on julias special day.tonight archie and i baked mitchs favorite cookies for valentines.
one day at a time judy, thinking of you
love abbie
«♥Angel Mitchell♥» <afraser1@tru.eastlink.ca>
tru, - Saturday, February 14, 2004 9:55 PM CST

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Judy,

The Tumbleweed foundation is such a joy. I can't even begin to explain how strong you are to help others in their own journies, even now that Julia is not here with you. I can only imagine her running through the clouds this very instant, chasing butterflies and airplanes, jumping from cloud to cloud. Thank you so much for sharing her and you're beautiful family with us!!
Maddie www.caringbridge.org/mn/maddie <madelinepaguyo@yahoo.com>
- Saturday, February 14, 2004 2:50 PM CST

---

I am so sorry to hear of Julia's passing. I am an old friend of Mary's and living in NY. Your daughter has been in our prayers for some time now. We will now talk to her in our prayers and ask her to watch over other children in need. I will also bring the tumbleweed foundation information to our next Girl Scout Leaders meeting. I know our Brownie Troop will be discussing the foundation at our next meeting and coming up with ways to support the foundation.
Once again, I am so sorry for you loss. May God keep you close to his heart each day.
Sincerely,
Christina Kingsley and family
Christina Kingsley <cmkingsley@aol.com>
Levittown, NY 11756 - Saturday, February 14, 2004 11:23 AM CST

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Hi Judy,
I checked in on you and your family everyday!...Even though I don't write in the guest book often...You have changed my whole view on life, and I will forever be grateful to you!!...You seemed to have helped everyone else, but yourself and that's what makes you a wonderful person...I would love to make a monetary donation, it might not been a lot, but a start...because you deserve it and you mean a lot to us, even though we have never met you....Could I get your address so that I can send it to you?!?..and don't feel bad to ask, sometimes that's the only way people know it's ok to help, without hurting the families pride...I think we were just waiting for you to come out and ask!
Thanks so much and I am so glad I ran into this site..You,and Julia are amazing people!! And I will definitely be checking out the tumbleweed site.
Have a wonderful Valentine's Day!
Your family is in my thoughts and prays!!
Take Care. Love, Sarah
Sarah Lorge <sarah.lorge@ALLINA.COM>
Andover, Mn - Friday, February 13, 2004 4:07 PM CST

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I have just found out about your site through Cheyenne's site....I haven't even gotten to the Tumbleweed site yet. Just wanted to say that I know what you are going through...five months....it seemed as though I counted every day that first year! I still miss my Amy just as much as ever, but that first year was so horrendous!! I know your pain and it is wonderful that you are doing something in Julia's memory. My daughter was 28 years old and fought her battle with every ounce of strength she had, but it just wasn't to be....and every day I ask why?? My heart aches for you too and all of us mothers, fathers, sister and brothers who have lost a part of their very being. They will always be with us....but oh how we ache to see them and hold them one more time!! I will be visiting your foundation and send what I can. Julia would be so proud of you and I hope she has met my Amy and together they are helping all the other little angels dance among the stars!!

Amy's mom www.caringbridge.org/sd/amyschroeder
Rosemary Harris <Rosmaburg@aol.com>
Rosemount, MN USA - Thursday, February 12, 2004 11:23 PM CST

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Hi Judy,Im just checking in to see how you are . I hope People start donating to tumbleweed soon. and the word gets out there for other familes as well. I will Do what I can , And my husband is writing Oprah I figure if we bug her every week She will check it out! Your doing a great thing with Tumbleweed And I wish more people would step up and help! Take care
Kim <dakk2222@netnitco.net>
IN - Thursday, February 12, 2004 7:08 PM CST

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Dear Judy and Julia,
This is me Arabella. I am trying to type this mYself!!!
I want to say early happy birthday to you Julia. Even though I dpnt know you I feel like I do. My mom told me the story about the email buterfly and it was beautifful and so I know you read emails! Please read this one. You are a Wonderful girl and I am sending you these big hugs and kisses XXXXOOOXXXX. My grandmother is in heaven to and she makes the best birthday cake. She used to make mine and now I bet she is making one for you.

here is really something special! Your birthday is the day my mom got the referal picture and letter about me from China on Feb 18 1996 and I was 3 months old. so we share a special day!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JULIA!
love from your friend
Arabella
Arabella
New York, New York USA - Thursday, February 12, 2004 3:04 PM CST

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Judy,

Thanking me for being the President of the U Suck Club is no special cause. You don't have to thank me for being there for you no matter in how many ways. Plain and simply, you're my sister and I will/have/and will continue to do anything for you!

I love you dearly!

Jodi <sckycujo@verizon.net>
- Wednesday, February 11, 2004 8:28 PM CST

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HELP HELP HELP!!! O.k Friends and fans Of judy, Now is your time to Help out! ( judy dont be mad at me for posting this someone has to do something) We should as loving careing people be able to help someone in need. Judy and the kids need our help. If everyone that checks in on her can send even 1 dollar she would be o.k for awhile. If just 100 people sent in 10.00 dollars she would have 1,000 every little bit helps. The kids need mom to have less stress and loosing a child and financial trouble is more than one can bare. So Judy Or Jodi Please put an address to send donations to . consider them Loving gestures! I hope everyone that can will jump on this chance to Help judy and the kids. Lets see how much we can help Judy raise! Things are tight on every one but we can all help a little and that little will go along way for her 3 kids! Kim
Kim
IN - Monday, February 9, 2004 7:56 PM CST
www.tumbleweedfoundation.org



Kim <dakk2222@netnitco.net>
IN - Wednesday, February 11, 2004 6:22 PM CST

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Judy, just read your entries about your recent communications with Julia. How wonderful! I know that a lot of people would put it all down to "just coincidence". Not me. I truly, with all my heart, believe that Julia was trying to get through to you. She sees your pain, and is trying to comfort you. I think the eeriest (is that a word?!!) was the email that Mary received! How special Mary must be to Julia.
Maggie <MDefazio60@msn.com>
Pittsburgh, - Wednesday, February 11, 2004 3:56 PM CST

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Hi Judy,

I'm sorry it's been a long time since I last signed the guestbook, I have been busy here at school with other things involving classes, extracurriculars, and of course, cancer kids! I love the Tumbleweed site and think it's a good idea. I realized that yesterday was five months since Julia's passing and next week is her birthday, so, happy early Julia day! I know this month is going to be hard, and so I pray that God really blesses you today with lots of butterflies. I'll come back again soon to check on you. Know that you and your family are loved.
Bryanne Weaver <weaverbj@nsuok.edu>
Tahlequah, OK USA - Wednesday, February 11, 2004 8:12 AM CST

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Hye Jude...
NO for sure its not an easy thing dealing with all of this, as well as losing your darling Julia. I pray that things get easier for you and that all the angels can send their support!!

HUGS and love,
Samantha <sletoile@msn.com>
Barrie, ON Canada - Wednesday, February 11, 2004 7:40 AM CST

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Judy, Just a note to let you know I am back on line, and checking in to see how you are. I want to thank you for being with Cathy and my little Nathaniel, I know it could not have been easy going back to the hospital. I don't know if I can truely express what your being there meant, I love you sweetie, and only good things can be ahead for you and the family. Don't forget me on your U-SUCK Club outing, I may not be there in person but I will in my heart and thoughts.
Love and kisses
Peg
Peg Smith <bobnpeg8@cs.com>
Angier , NC - Wednesday, February 11, 2004 7:38 AM CST

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---Here is a repeat email! But worth repeating!
HELP HELP HELP!!! O.k Friends and fans Of judy, Now is your time to Help out! ( judy dont be mad at me for posting this someone has to do something) We should as loving careing people be able to help someone in need. Judy and the kids need our help. If everyone that checks in on her can send even 1 dollar she would be o.k for awhile. If just 100 people sent in 10.00 dollars she would have 1,000 every little bit helps. The kids need mom to have less stress and loosing a child and financial trouble is more than one can bare. So Judy Or Jodi Please put an address to send donations to . consider them Loving gestures! I hope everyone that can will jump on this chance to Help judy and the kids. Lets see how much we can help Judy raise! Things are tight on every one but we can all help a little and that little will go along way for her 3 kids! Kim
Kim
IN - Monday, February 9, 2004 7:56 PM CST
www.tumbleweedfoundation.org


Kim <dakk2222@netnitco.net>
IN - Tuesday, February 10, 2004 8:42 PM CST

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I learned of your site from Cheyenne's site. My heart aches for you and all you have to endure. I will pray the lightbulb is turned back soon at the end of your tunnel.
Mary Kay Goerge
www.caringbridge.org/mi/emilygoerge <goerge@voyager.net>
- Tuesday, February 10, 2004 8:38 PM CST

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Well Judy today marks 5 months since Julia got her wings and it really stinks! I know this month is very hard for you but you will get through this, we are all here holding you up. Kim had a great idea and I really do hope everyone that visits can help Judy and her family out. There are no words that can be expressed to say how much that would be appreciated. We love ya Jude
Cathy and the boys! <copalko@aol.com>
- Tuesday, February 10, 2004 7:11 PM CST

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Great idea Kim! Mary, you have such a super way of knowing the right thing to do to help all of us help our dear friend. With caring friends to help, it will be a start until things can be put on the right track. Love and prayers for all of you.
Judy, you are doing everything you can! Have you ever thought of sending in some of your heartfelt poems to be published somewhere? They touch the soul with all of the emotions written into them. I don't know of any specific places to send them, but perhaps someone out there does. It's just an idea...
Shellie <khen608178@aol.com>
- Tuesday, February 10, 2004 7:11 PM CST

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For those that wish to help, there is now a link to paypal on the home page of the Tumbleweed Foundation. Click on the link beside my name - that will take you to the Tumbleweed Page. Click on the "Make a Donation" Button, and when you get to the Additional Instructions Box, type "For the Levy Family". Hope this makes it easier.
Mary Tumbleweed Foundation <MaryKitchen@Tumbleweedfoundation.com>
- Tuesday, February 10, 2004 1:06 PM CST

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---Here is a repeat email! But worth repeating!
HELP HELP HELP!!! O.k Friends and fans Of judy, Now is your time to Help out! ( judy dont be mad at me for posting this someone has to do something) We should as loving careing people be able to help someone in need. Judy and the kids need our help. If everyone that checks in on her can send even 1 dollar she would be o.k for awhile. If just 100 people sent in 10.00 dollars she would have 1,000 every little bit helps. The kids need mom to have less stress and loosing a child and financial trouble is more than one can bare. So Judy Or Jodi Please put an address to send donations to . consider them Loving gestures! I hope everyone that can will jump on this chance to Help judy and the kids. Lets see how much we can help Judy raise! Things are tight on every one but we can all help a little and that little will go along way for her 3 kids! Kim
Kim
IN - Monday, February 9, 2004 7:56 PM CST
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kim <dakk2222@netnitco.net>
IN - Tuesday, February 10, 2004 8:43 AM CST

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Kim,
I applaud your efforts on my sister's behalf. I appreciate your email to me asking for help. Unfortunately, Mary beat me to responding. I know my sister would appreciate any help that anyone could give her. It's not easy to ask. I know I wanted to, but didn't quite know the words to say. My sister obviously isn't the only one in need, but she is in need. Again, Kim, I thank you and I thank anyone that is willing and able to help Judy and her family out.
Sincerely,
Jodi <sckycujo@verizon.net>
- Tuesday, February 10, 2004 6:12 AM CST

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Maybe we can meet somewhere on a weekly basis just to make sure that we don't lose touch. I don't think we've ever been together without the little ones. The Southside is kind of convenient for both of us... I think... we both like coffee... well, let me know what's good for you...

I'm going to send you an e-mail from blessingsbyceleste@hotmail.com I'm afraid that I'm not getting them all and then sometimes they're returned lately. I guess I need more memory with the account. Then, the earthlink acct. won't even open up. One day, I'll fix it... or maybe I'll invite Mary over... (giggle... kidding, but Mary's still always welcome here...)

Julia's 6th birthday, the day before Celeste was dx. I don't have words for that but I can feel it in my bones. I can hardly get up the stairs without being in pain. Never have I had problems before - it's all stress. Stress is a powerful, awful thing.

I have a lot to talk to you about. I'll start with the e-mail...

love you!
Tami <blessingsbyceleste@hotmail.com>
pgh, pa - Tuesday, February 10, 2004 1:06 AM CST

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Mary , thanks so much for the great idea and links. We can post this on the journal page if judy will do that. I dont know how many people read other peoples guest book entries and after a few entries we are at the bottom. so this needs exposure to work. Can you have judy get this link on the journal page. I noticed on celestes page that tami has a p.o box to send donations to help out . Many people have that and its totally understandable with all the expense and problems that arise after the loss of a child! Let us help judy! and mary thanks so much!
Kim <dakk2222@netnitco.net>
IN - Monday, February 9, 2004 10:45 PM CST

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Kim has a great idea. If you would like to help, even just a little, you have two options. You can click on the link to the Tumbleweed Foundation after my name. There is no minimum to donate this way. Even a dollar can be submitted. Go to Programs, and then Donations. There is a link for Paypal. When making a donation, in the comments section, type “for the Levy family”, and 100% of your donation will go straight to the family to help them out. I will post a direct link to the Paypal button as soon as possible, to make it even easier. If you prefer to mail a donation, email Judy, and she will give you her address. Her email is on the main page of the journal. Thanks for your help for a my dear friend and her wonderful family. If you have any questions about Paypal, just email me.
Mary Tumbleweed Foundation <MaryKitchen@Tumbleweedfoundation.com>
- Monday, February 9, 2004 10:25 PM CST

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Judy
My heart aches for you and your family.. I want you to know that I think of all of you often and I am still praying that things will get better for Jarrod....I am also praying for help for you, and the strength to get through this month...
Carine Ekberg www.caringbridge.org/il/lindsay <bnc94@msn.com>
McHenry, IL - Monday, February 9, 2004 9:59 PM CST

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HELP HELP HELP!!! O.k Friends and fans Of judy, Now is your time to Help out! ( judy dont be mad at me for posting this someone has to do something) We should as loving careing people be able to help someone in need. Judy and the kids need our help. If everyone that checks in on her can send even 1 dollar she would be o.k for awhile. If just 100 people sent in 10.00 dollars she would have 1,000 every little bit helps. The kids need mom to have less stress and loosing a child and financial trouble is more than one can bare. So Judy Or Jodi Please put an address to send donations to . consider them Loving gestures! I hope everyone that can will jump on this chance to Help judy and the kids. Lets see how much we can help Judy raise! Things are tight on every one but we can all help a little and that little will go along way for her 3 kids! Kim
Kim <dakk2222@netnitco.net>
IN - Monday, February 9, 2004 7:56 PM CST

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Judy
Jesus said not to marvel at these things he was referring to miracles. I guess because what is unimaginable or impossible for us is merely simple and routine for GOD to accomplish. That's Great that Julia was able to reach out and communicate in such a "unmistakeable" way. Its so Wonderful that LOVE can transcend barriers and it is the Most Powerful ~Force~ in the universe. I just thought it was also an interesting coincidence that your friend's name is Mary {JESUS' mom} It looks like she came through to assure about situation at home, that you are not without Divine Help and that things will work themselves out without you having to completely fall apart first. Know that you are LOVED in a BIG Way and G-D and HIS GLORIOUS ANGELS are with you.
Peace and Blessings
Paloma <mechica20@yahoo.com>
ny - Monday, February 9, 2004 11:20 AM CST

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Judy,

I know going back to work full time isn't what you want to do right now, but unfortunately it looks like your only alternative. I so wish I was in a more stable financial way to help you out!! Yes, I assure you that there is light at the end of the tunnel and so help me if anyone takes the bulb!!!!! :) It will get better! Cooking with you was fun today, we'll have to do that more often!

I love you and will continue to do everything in my power to make each day a little easier for you!!!
Jodi <sckycujo@verizon.net>
- Sunday, February 8, 2004 9:07 PM CST

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Judy-
I continue to pray for you and your family, just for some peace to get you through these tough times. Know there are so many people reading your journal and caring for you deeply. It sounds like Julia is a sweet, watchful angel!
DJA <carterbean@adelphia.net>
- Sunday, February 8, 2004 8:57 PM CST

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Judy,
I really had a good time hanging out last night. We will get that computer back in shape! LOL! Sorry things are so tough right now. There is a light - there really is, and eventually you will see it.

Julia,
Thank you so much for my email sweetheart. You are the most wonderful Angel, and we miss you so much still. I will keep that email forever.
Mary Tumbleweed Foundation <MaryKitchen@Tumbleweedfoundation.com>
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, - Sunday, February 8, 2004 8:54 PM CST

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Judy I'm so glad that you had a special visit from Angel Julia. Healing starts when a memory brings a smile instead of a tear. Our prayers to Cathy and Nathaniel. Love to you
Shellie <khen608178@aol.com>
pgh, - Sunday, February 8, 2004 7:41 PM CST

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Judy, Everyday I check for an update and No update. You must be having as tough time still/ again . I truly Hope God grants you some peace and Happiness soon. I know your heart just breaks and grieves for julia, I hope you can feel her with you in spirit every day.Your such a sweet person with the Biggest heart. I hope your dreams come true! Im praying for that!
Kim <dakk2222@netnitco.net>
IN - Sunday, February 8, 2004 6:41 PM CST

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Julia,


M. Elton
Richmond, VA - Saturday, February 7, 2004 10:39 AM CST

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Hello Judy. I found your page through a link that Mary sent to me to her page. Her husband took our wedding pictures this past August. I have just finished reading all of your entries and I just wanted to tell you that your story has really touched me. No parent should ever have to go through what you are going through. I pray that you and your family continue to heal as you deal with your grief. My husband and I are both in the Army and are going to be leaving for Iraq very soon. We will be thinking of you.
Keri <kerin.hoffmann@us.army.mil>
Bamberg, Germany - Saturday, February 7, 2004 6:47 AM CST

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Judy...I definitely got chills reading your latest update. How beautiful that Julia came to you in this way. These signs can do so much for us--I know they do for me!

I'm praying that all works out for Nathaniel. You're all in my thoughts and prayers.
Terry Snyder (Angel Jalen's "Am-Maw") http://www.caringbridge.org/fl/jalen <vix207@aol.com>
Royal Palm Beach, FL - Friday, February 6, 2004 1:21 PM CST

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Stopping by to say hi!

http://www.caringbridge.org/sc/kaylynmei/
Erin <ccbubbless17@yahoo.com>
columbia, sc usa - Friday, February 6, 2004 11:36 AM CST

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Thinking of you ALWAYS!
Michelle Phillips <jusm4us@cablenet-va.com>
St. Paul, VA - Thursday, February 5, 2004 12:16 AM CST

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Judy,
It's truly amazing those little miracles coming your way while you were at CHP. These little miracles keep letting you know Julia is with you (us) and always will be. Loved your very beautiful recent poetry. Still praying for you all every day. Love, peace and blessings
Clare <m60cs@aol.com>
Pittsburgh, PA - Wednesday, February 4, 2004 6:50 PM CST

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You are a wonderful friend to offer support at the hospital to your friend and her little one during their medical test. Your heart is so loving.

Thinking of you and your little angel baby.
M. Elton
Richmond, VA - Wednesday, February 4, 2004 4:25 PM CST

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Wow!! What an awesome day you had!! I got chills just reading it, I am thrilled for you that Julia was able to be there with you and Nathaniel, too. She knows what a scary place CHP can be and she wasn't about to let any of you go it alone!! Thoughts and prayers for your family along with Cathy and Nathaniel!!
Carla <carlaj@zoominternet.net>
Butler, Pa - Tuesday, February 3, 2004 9:44 PM CST

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Judy, Im so Glad you found comfort today with Julia. That was a beautiful journal. I will pray for nathaniel! I hope he is well soon! And I hope things get better for you all soon. Im praying special prayers for you!
Kim <dakk2222@netnitco.net>
In - Tuesday, February 3, 2004 9:21 PM CST

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What an awesome day for you! WOW! Julia - you are always amazing!
Mary <zackysmom@city-net.com>
Pittsburgh, - Tuesday, February 3, 2004 9:11 PM CST

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Judy, thank you so very much for being with us today. YOU TOO JULES! Wow your mom really needed that and was very happy through the tears. Sweetness you are missed so very much. Judy, I know how hard it was for you today and to be honest with you that is why I really did not push for you to go with me, but believe me I greatly appreciated it...I just did not want you to hurt anymore than you already do. My mom will be so proud of you, because you promised her that you would be there and you WERE! Thank you, Thank you. I also appreciate you asking for all the prayers that means alot. Between G*d and Julia I know Nathaniel will be okay. I will be on the edge for the next 2-3 weeks hoping and praying. Julia was there today because she was watching over her favorite lil' guy. She always did make those babies laugh. Okay well you know I am here for you always and I know things are really rough right now, dont forget that phone, I love ya.
Cathy <copalko@aol.com>
- Tuesday, February 3, 2004 7:56 PM CST

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Glad your birthday had some smiles and new happy memories!!

HUGS and love,
Samantha <sletoile@msn.com>
Barrie, ON Canada - Tuesday, February 3, 2004 1:41 PM CST

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Happy Birthday Judy. I hope things are going better for you and your family. You continue to be in our prayers. I will send that book to you. This weather hasn't made it easy for us to get our stuff out of our old house. I will make sure to send it to you the next time we get over there.
Craig Levine <wakbyfaith@yahoo.com>
Pawnee, IL - Tuesday, February 3, 2004 7:55 AM CST

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY JUDY ! ! ! ! !

Glad to hear that you had a blessed birthday. Sounds like Jordan is an awesome athlete (& big brother)!

Love ya,
Tami <blessingsbyceleste@hotmail.com>
pittsburgh, pa - Monday, February 2, 2004 2:50 AM CST

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Judy, How does it feel to be 38??? Well ask jodi giggle!Im not far behing you. and its kinda scary to me! I was just 16 yesterday I swear it! 38 seems so close to 50 to me! and we no 50 is OLD LOL sorry to all 50+ people but ya know it is!!!! Im thinking of you so much today I hope things get better soon!
Kim <dakk2222@netnitco.net>
In - Sunday, February 1, 2004 7:26 PM CST

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I am contining to pray for you and your family each and every day.
love in Christ
Kelli Froman
www.caringbridge.org/ky/sweetpeascorner
Kelli <fkelli21@aol.com>
Louisville, KY US - Sunday, February 1, 2004 7:06 PM CST

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Hello. My name is Margot, and I found this page through Maddie's page, which I got from Christie Blackwoods page. Your story has really touched me. I am so glad that Julia is painless and at peace up in heaven. I'm glad her story has touched so many people. Thank you.
Margot <sweetgirl91700@aol.com>
Edina, MN - Sunday, February 1, 2004 2:21 PM CST

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Hi Judy,

Its been a while since I have wrote anything,, but I wanted to say Happy Birthday to you!!!!!!!, I am so glad that you had such a nice day yesterday. I love when the kids lose their teeth, my 5 year old lost 2 the week of christmas, she has lost 4 now, and my 9 year old just lost her 9th tooth wednesday,, they have my teeth,, all 3 of my kids had their first tooth before they were 4 months old, it just makes sense that they would lose them quickly ( I guess), lets just hope this doesn't mean they will need dentures by the time they graduate from high school!! hahahahahaha I keep you and your family in my thoughts all the time, I check on you all the time too. I do wish much peace and comfort for all of you, and I will continue to wish a little extra harder for your husband.

With much love from the Schmartz Family
Linda, John, Austyn and Rachel
Linda Schmartz <Katausrac3@aol.com>
So Glastonbury, Ct - Sunday, February 1, 2004 7:25 AM CST

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Just wanted to say thanks to the birthday wishes those of you have sent me!!!

Have a great day!
Jodi <sckycujo@verizon.net>
- Friday, January 30, 2004 3:36 PM CST

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Hello Judy, Thinking of you today and sending warm thoughts your way. God bless, Eileen
EJ's Caring Place
- Friday, January 30, 2004 11:06 AM CST

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Happy Birthday Judy, Jodi and Jarrod.....
I hope things get better for you soon!! I think of you often~
Carine Ekberg (www.caringbridge.org/il/lindsay) <bnc94@msn.com >
McHenry, IL - Thursday, January 29, 2004 9:14 PM CST

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Happy Birthday Again! Judy Jodi and Jarrod! Your sister jodi is too sweet! Gosh your lucky to have such a nice sister. Ill give you 1 of mine instead! But just 1 Ill keep the other 3. I hope you had a good day! We are almost 40 that is kinda scary!
kim <dakk2222@netnitco.net>
IN - Thursday, January 29, 2004 8:48 PM CST

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Happy Birthday Judy, Jodi, and Jarrod.

Hope you had a great day. Nathaniel was singing Happy Birthday Dudy almost all evening. Thanks a million. I really hope you enjoyed your day. My prayers are always with you. Love Ya.


Cathy and the Boys. <copalko@aol.com>
- Thursday, January 29, 2004 8:16 PM CST

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Why you young things...happy birthday to the three of you. Oh to be 38 again! Had lots of fun bowling this weekend and look forward to laser tag. Guess this old woman can't hang with you young things, cause I heard you all were out quite late. Me? I was in bed be 10:30 How were all thos &*(%$* kids today Judy? What a way to spend your bday, surrounded by exuberance and noise! Love ya!
Shellie <khen608178@aol.com>
pgh, - Thursday, January 29, 2004 7:14 PM CST

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JUDY,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!! HOPE YOUR DAY WAS AS HAPPY AS MINE BECAUSE WE GOT TO CELEBRATE OUR BIRTHDAY TOGETHER!! THAT WAS A WONDERFUL GIFT IN ITSELF!!!

I LOVE YOU,
JODI
Jodi <sckycujo@verizon.net>
- Thursday, January 29, 2004 7:04 PM CST

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Happy Birthday Jarrod!
and
Happy Birthday Judy!!

I know it must not feel like "happy" birthday, but I am praying for you every day to start to feel the "happy" in each day. I am sorry to read things are not well between you and your husband. I will keep it in my prayers too that things work out. Eileen
www.caringbridge.org/il/ej
- Wednesday, January 28, 2004 10:42 PM CST

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY JUDY! I wanted to be the first to wish you a happy B day! its almost midnight so its almost official! HAve a day of peace try to enjoy it! thinking of you!
kim <dakk2222@netnitco.net>
IN - Wednesday, January 28, 2004 10:22 PM CST

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Happy Birthday Jarrod! Im 37 too but Judy im right there with ya as I turn 38 this year! Jarrod, ALot of people are praying for you and your family during this terribly painful time. Just Hold your family close all you have is each other, and Day by day it will get better.
Judy, Your b day is the Same day as my child hood friend and Oprahs! WOW Lucky you!! HAve A wonderful day! Youa nd jarrod and the kids deserve to go have some fun!
kim <dakk2222@netnitco.net>
IN - Tuesday, January 27, 2004 10:41 PM CST

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Happy Birthday Jarrod! Hope you have a good day, and a better year.

Judy,
Glad you had fun this weekend. It was so great to see you laugh. I'm glad you mentioned you are at work today - was afraid your computer crashed!

Jodi - YOu just WAIT until Laser tag! :)
Mary Tumbleweed Foundation <zackysmom@city-net.com>
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, - Tuesday, January 27, 2004 2:09 PM CST

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Judy, Im checking in on you. I hope the days get easier in time. And Im praying for much happiness for you. No one deserves it more!
Kim <dakk2222@netnitco.net>
IN - Monday, January 26, 2004 9:15 PM CST

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Hello Judy!!

I haven't signed the guestbook lately, but I, like so many others check in here daily. Thinking of you lots... the Tumbleweed sight is great! I would love to volunteer to help in anyways that you might need, just let me know.

Sending hugs your way.

Carla <carlaj@zoominternet.net>
Butler, Pa 16001 - Sunday, January 25, 2004 8:26 PM CST

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I want to take this opportunity to thank everyone that showed up to the USC outing lastnight. It was lots of fun!! I appreciate people showing up that didn't bowl, but just wanted to show their face. I truly appreciated my second mom taking the time off from packing to hang out with all of us. It was fun being with everyone! For those of you that couldn't show, you were missed and there's always next month! Thanks again to all for making our bowling night a success!

Love,
Jodi
P.S. I bowled the highest game of 150 with a very close second by Mary with a 146!! (Had to say it.) :)
Jodi <sckycujo@verizon.net>
Pittsburgh, PA - Sunday, January 25, 2004 6:15 PM CST

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I just wanted you to know that your daughter is still touching the lives of people she's never met - I've learned more and more to appreciate my children,even when they are at their worst, every minute of every day. I found your page through 2 links through a child in our town's page. Though we've never met, I am grieving your loss. Our family went through 2 losses (of adults) in 2003 and I know how painful that was but I cannot imagine what it is like to lose a child. Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. Everytime I see a butterfly, I'll be thinking of your precious angel.
Laurie
MD - Sunday, January 25, 2004 10:48 AM CST

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Hi Judy: I just recently lost my 17 yr old nephew and I found this poem of comfort. I thought it would type it in to share it with you.
Letter from Heaven:
To my dearest friends and family, some things I would like to say. Though first of all to let you know that I have arrived okay. I'm writing this from heaven, here I dwell with the spirit of love. Here there is no more tears of saddness, here is just eternal love. Please do not me unhappy because i am out of sight, but remember I am with you each morning, noon, and night. That day I had to leave you when my life on earth was through, heaven's warmth covered me and said I welcome you. It's good to have you back again, you were missed while you were gone. As for your dearest family, they will be here later on. We need you here so badly, you're part of our great plan. There is so much we have to do to help our mortal man. Spirit gave me a list of things that were wished for me to do, and foremost on that list was to watch and care for you. And when you lie in your bed at night, the day's chores put to flight...spirit and I are closest to you in the middle of the night. When you think of my life on earth and all those loving years, because you are only human they are bound to bring you tears. But do not be afraid to cry for awhile it helps relieve the pain, but remember there would be no flowers unless there was some rain. I wish I could explain to you all that spirit has planned. If I were to tell you, you just wouldn't understand. But one thing is for certain, though my life on earth is over, I am closer to you now than I ever was before. There are many rocky roads ahead of you, and many hills to climb, but together we can do this by taking one day a time. It was always my philosophy and I would like it for you to...that as you give unto the world the world will give unto you. If you can help somebody who is sorrow and in pain, then you can say to me at night, my day was not in vain. So now I am contented that my life was worthwhile, knowing as I passed along the way, I made somebody smile. So if you meet someone who is sad and feeling low, just lend a hand to pick them up as on your way to go. And when you're walking down the street and you have me in mind, I am walking in your footsteps only half a step behind. And when it is time for you to go from that body to be free....remember you're not going...you're coming here to me. God Bless you and yours.
Linda
Barrie, Canada - Saturday, January 24, 2004 2:32 PM CST

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Judy,
it must be painful without your little butterfly,but the good thing is that she will be an angel and watching over you.You still have your other kids,but we wish we still had Julia.We pray for you every night and hope the angels and God will watch over you and try to help you get your pain out of you. She was a cute little butterfly.
(Out of the mouths of babes...this was completely written by Michael)
MIchael <khen608178@aol.com>
Pgh, PA - Saturday, January 24, 2004 7:59 AM CST

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I'm sorry I haven't signed in awhile. I hope you are doing ok. I really like your poem, it is so heartfelt. I'm thinking of you. I've had Julia's memorial page done for awhile if you want to view it: Julia's Page
Bryanne Weaver <weaverbj@nsuok.edu>
Tahlequah, Oklahoma USA - Friday, January 23, 2004 8:48 PM CST

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Judy,
Thank you for your sheer, raw honesty. There probably isn't a reason that makes sense to us at the moment.
M. Elton
Richmond, VA - Thursday, January 22, 2004 9:12 PM CST

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Hi Judy,
I'm sorry it's been so long since I've signed the guestbook....but I check Julia's page almost every day. Your poems really resonate with me....I'm sure everybody feels that way!
I love the picture of Julia on the tumbleweed page. She's so full of life and looks so happy! It's almost impossible to realize that she's in heaven now. I feel the same way about Nolan's pictures. His eyes sparkle with laughter and mischief in them, how can that be stilled?
Our children are always with us, in our hearts, but it's sometimes impossible to fully comprehend that we won't be seeing them walk through our doors.
Sending you lots and lots of love and hugs,
'angel' Nolan's mom
(http://nolans_hope.tripod.com)
Lorraine <loralof@yahoo.com>
- Thursday, January 22, 2004 8:49 PM CST

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Judy, I don't know what to say. Your words just break my heart! Please know that I check in on you often and pray for you and your family! God Bless!
Terri <terrig@altamaha.net>
Helena, GA - Thursday, January 22, 2004 12:05 AM CST

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Hi Judy and crew,
Thinking of you, always!
Love and Prayers,
Michelle Phillips <jusm4us@cablenet-va.com>
St. Paul, VA - Thursday, January 22, 2004 12:02 AM CST

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Oh Judy, I will be back to read this over and over again, not that I don't come here every day anyway. I'd wear it as a tattoo if you could put it into a picture :)
Tami <blessingsbyceleste@hotmail.com>
pgh, pa - Thursday, January 22, 2004 11:48 AM CST

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Judy,

I saw this on another website and just wanted to pass it on.Think about you often even though we do not know each other...

Denise mom to Steven
http://www.caringbridge.org/ny/steven/



That's Normal

If you think you are going insane.......That's normal
If all you do is cry....................That's normal
If you have trouble with the most minor decisions...That's normal
If you can't taste your food or have any semblance of an appetite...........That's normal
If you have feelings of rage, denial and depression...That's normal
If you find yourself enjoying a funny moment and immediately feeling guilty.........That's normal
If your friends dwindle away and you feel like you have the plague........That's normal
If your blood boils and the hair in your nose curls when someone tells you, "It was God's will"...That's normal
If you can't talk about it, but you smash dishes, shred up old phone books, or kick garbage cans down the lane..That's normal
If you can share your story, your feelings with an understanding listener, another bereaved person....That's a Beginning.
If you can get a glimmer of your loved one's life rather than his/her death..............That's wonderful.
If you can remember your loved one with a smile....That's Healing.
If you find your mirrors have become windows and you are able to reach out to others who are grieving........That's Growing.
by Edith Fraser


http://www.caringbridge.org/ny/steven/ == Steven's website <dee3mom@yahoo.com >
LONG ISLAND, NY - Thursday, January 22, 2004 11:17 AM CST

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Judy,

You don't know me but I check Julia's page often. I found it through Marissa B's page. Your story and Julia's struggle touched my heart. Today when I looked at that picture of Julia on your chest, tears poured out of my eyes. There is nothing I can say to make you feel better. Just know that from your stories and your photes, what little time Julia had was spent in the arms of people who adored her. I'm am so sorry for your loss and share in your anger that these precious babies ever have to suffer.

Beth
OH - Thursday, January 22, 2004 10:11 AM CST

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I wish I could really give you the stars my friend. I wish I could take the pain away. Please remember my heart is with you, every single day. Your poem is beautiful.
Mary Tumbleweed Foundation <zackysmom@city-net.com>
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, - Wednesday, January 21, 2004 10:57 PM CST

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Wow 1-21-04 im speechless ! Wonderful! tears flowing ((((Judy)))))
Kim <dakk2222@netnitco.net>
In - Wednesday, January 21, 2004 10:16 PM CST

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Another beautifully expressed poem. Throwing in the towel and folding is so easy, but it's not in our blood, dear sister. Thank goodness for that. :) Just continue to take each day as it comes, one at a time. If you can get thru the day ahead of you when you awake, that's a triumph in itself. As always I'm here for you to vent to, to watch your kids, to bathe them, to do whatever is necessary to give you a little piece of mind!!

I love you very much!
Jodi <sckycujo@verizon.net>
Pittsburgh, PS - Wednesday, January 21, 2004 9:35 PM CST

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Hi, I am a 13 year old from NC. Recently my good friend Hope Stout passed away from a type of bone cancer,i was looking at other caring bridge site and came across yours. I am so sorry to hear or your terrible loss. She is such a beautiful angle! I will keep your family in my prayers and thoughts!
Sincerely, Emily Scharin <gymbabe176@netscape.net>
weddington, nc - Wednesday, January 21, 2004 8:43 PM CST

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The Tumbleweed Foundation site is great! I know Julia is lookind down with huge smiles. Thanks for all that you are doing. Love and hugs always!
Michele <mash128@hotmail.com>
Winona, MN - Wednesday, January 21, 2004 3:39 PM CST

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Judy~ May your heart rest during these tough times. With the holidays behind and seeing how strong your family is, work together and talk about how gorgeous your little angel is. If you hold it inside and only write your feelings on paper, it still keeps you bound inside. I hate to read you're crying day in and day out because its not good for you physically and it's not good for your kids. There is nothing more I'd rather wish you than peace within yourself. You have 3 other gorgeous children that I'm sure are confused, scared, and have holes in their heart just as big as yours. May you relax and fine time to be happy once again in your life.
Kelly
College Station, TX 77840 - Wednesday, January 21, 2004 1:16 PM CST

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Hi Judy - I just hope that you know that you are always in my heart and thoughts. Just about all day, throughout each day. When I don't talk to you, I still feel connected and I hope that one of these days we can spend some time together. Life just seems to keep throwing things my way since it started. I know you hear about what an amazing person you are and it just seems like, I don't want to be this way and I never asked to have such difficulties and to build such a character but you are amazing, Judy. Your beautiful children are a reflection of that. There was a time when Celeste was diagnosed and I felt like the most alone person on the planet. I looked for others dealing with the same illness and they just weren't there because it's so rare, like another slap in the face. Why our little girls, or any child, I'll never understand. Then I met you and even when we're so busy doing all the other things in life, I hope that you remember that even though it's been hard and I have my own difficulties too, I'm here with you - again, if you're ever up and unable to sleep chances are that so am I and it's never too late to call, if you feel like. I'm sending you an e-mail from the other address because my earthlink account isn't working.
Tami <blessingsbyceleste@hotmail.com>
pgh, pa - Wednesday, January 21, 2004 1:09 PM CST

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Judy,

Just got off the phone with you and immediately went to check your site. Listen, you have a great support system here and it is great you are able to get it out. I do hope in time this heartache will somewhat ease. I dont know if that will ever happen but I sure do hope so. The Tumbleweed Foundation is GREAT! Julia is a legacy that will never ever be forgotten! Julia's name will soon be everywere helping all of these children you watch and see this will be a very popular foundation. Judy, I feel for you so much, I want you to have her back right now! This is not fair, but I truely believe at times life is just so unfair and G*D throws alot at us that we can not handle. You have done a wonderful job at keeping everything, the children, home and everything else imaginable together!! DO NOT DOUBT any of this for a moment. You know we are only a phone call or a mile away. We love you!
Cathy <copalko@aol.com>
- Wednesday, January 21, 2004 8:28 AM CST

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Hi Judy,

You don't know me. I e-mailed you in the past but not for awhile. I learned of you from Katia's page. I check your page daily. I can't say I know what each of you are going through. I don't. But I wanted to tell you that I keep you and your family in my daily prayers. Of course also yourbeautiful angel Julia. I just need to tell you a quick thing. Twice in September I saw a yellow butterfly. Once while I was driving and the other time we were in Myrtle Beach and a yellow butterfly kept landing on me as I was sitting by the Lazy River. I thought of Julia both times. Might sound odd from someone you don't know. But I wanted to share that. I am a fellow Pittsburger. I live in Scott Twp. If you ever feel like e-mailing me please do. I am a great listener. Although I didn't lose a child to Cancer. We lost my Father in Law a year ago in June to the dreadful cancer. Also my Mother is currently in remission from Ovarian Cancer.Plus my father has been treated twice.
Amy <jessibubba@prodigy.net>
Pittsburgh, Pa - Tuesday, January 20, 2004 5:18 PM CST

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Judy, Even though you KNOW your world has fallen apart around you, Know that you are loved and that your handeling it like a star! Even though you may not feel it you keep shining for the kids. The purpose of it all??? As God loving people we are to believe there is always a meaning or purpose! Maybe there is for many things, But I will never know or understand why innocent children are allowed to suffer and Die. And Why we are left to greive for them. It is the worst thing in this world that could happen to someone is to loose a child. But you stay strong for the other kids and are always such a great mom. IF it wasnt for the other kids you may have given up by now. But you need each other. And they are blessings in the midst of this nightmare your living.1 day you will wake up and probably never know the meaning or purpose for julias short little life. But you will be stronger and able to get through each day a little easier.I Pray for you always, gosh check out the number of viewers you have. You may have E.r beat before long.
Kim <dakk2222@netnitco.net>
IN - Tuesday, January 20, 2004 2:56 PM CST

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Sure not an easy path you are on - and the questions will always be there. Hopefully you will never question the love and support you have.

HUGS and love,
Samantha <sletoile@msn.com>
Barrie, ON Canada - Tuesday, January 20, 2004 12:38 AM CST

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Just stopping by to say HI & let you know that although you dont' know me, I am thinking of you & your family.
~~Sending prayers from South Dakota~~
Jodi Simerly <jlsimerly@yahoo.com>
Watertown, SD USA - Tuesday, January 20, 2004 11:32 AM CST

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Hey Judy, I was thinking of you today and stopped in to check on you. Sounds like your busy. We have a new puppy so she has kept us busy over the weekend. Check on us soon.
www.caringbridge.org/va/maxie/
Christy <maxiewithlove@aol.com>
Amelia, VA` - Monday, January 19, 2004 10:47 PM CST

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Judy, I think we all question our purpose at various times. I am sorry your family appointment is so far away, but I do hope it gives you and your family a bit of comfort to talk to someone. I know that it will always seem as though someone is missing.
M. Elton
Ashland, VA - Monday, January 19, 2004 12:35 AM CST

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Thinking of you and sending the warmest of hugs
From The Smile Quilting Angels


Deb Bingham <tartok@arach.net.au>
WA Australia - Sunday, January 18, 2004 11:21 PM CST

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Hi Judy, What an awesome poem!! YOu are very good with words, people appreciate how you share yourself. We feel apart of your family when you do this. I just read a super book- Tuesdays with Morrie. A book about a man with ALS who embraces death ane teaches a friend about life's lessons. Another book by the same author I just finished is The 5 People You Meet in Heaven- excellent reading. Perhaps in your spare time... you may want to look into 1 of these for some uplifting. Love ya

Shellie <khen608178@aol.com>
pgh, pa usa - Sunday, January 18, 2004 7:46 PM CST

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I am so sorry for the loss of you daughter, my heart breaks as I read each story on this site, for I too know the heartbreak that each of you feel. I too lost a son to a brain tumor as well as a daughter and son to a heart defect. My thought go out to you and your family.

www.geocities.com/heartland/stream/2668/index.html
Joeann <jopo@peoplepc.com>
OH - Sunday, January 18, 2004 3:12 PM CST

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Hi Judy - I haven't signed in lately but do check your site daily. Please know that I continue to pray for you and your family always. Angel Julia and so many other angels are continuing to watch over us all. I am so glad to hear that you are going to the Caring Place. It is a truly remarkable and wonderful place for families to have available to them. Please take care and thanks for including me in your various emails. I appreciate it.
Bev <bgorr@wishworld.org; bgorr@helicon.net>
Pittsburgh, PA USA - Sunday, January 18, 2004 3:00 PM CST

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Stupid snow! Oh well, We will have an even better time next weekend! LOL! Glad Kyra got to play today as well. I am also glad we got to see you for a bit. Sorry Katie was in a bit of a mood! She had a rough day! Lots of people checking her out. Well, I guess I will talk to you later. More Big hugs to you!
Mary <zackysmom@city-net.com>
- Saturday, January 17, 2004 4:55 PM CST

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Judy,
Just wanted to let you know that you are in my thoughts and I pray that some things have settled down for you. Keeping you close to my heart.
Love,
Betsy
Betsy Kuczynski <Betsyalex@mail.com>
- Friday, January 16, 2004 2:50 PM CST

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Judy, Just saying hi and let you know im thinking of you. I hope you have a good weekend. Your always in our prays.
Kim <dakk2222@netnitco.net>
IN - Thursday, January 15, 2004 7:42 PM CST

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Hi, Judy. It's been a while since I've written, but I keep up with your entries. The poem is beautiful, and thank you for sharing your soul. I don't know how you do it; you always have a smile for me when I see you at school. Thank you.....
Maggie <MDefazio60@msn.com>
Pittsburgh, - Thursday, January 15, 2004 3:38 PM CST

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Your poem was just wonderful. I don't know what else to say...you said it all, right from the heart. Hope all is going as well as possible. Hope each day brings you a reason to smile so some of the pain can melt away. I hope to talk and see you soon.
Mary Jo Horgan <horganmj@wpsbc.org>
Pittsburgh, PA USA - Wednesday, January 14, 2004 7:30 AM CST

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Hi Judy,
That was a beautiful poem. We think of you often and keep you in our prayers.
Craig Levine daddy to Elijah <wakbyfaith@yahoo.com>
Pawnee, IL - Wednesday, January 14, 2004 7:17 AM CST

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Thank you for sharing the beautiful poem, Judy. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

Much love...
Terry Snyder (Angel Jalen's "Am-Maw") http://www.caringbridge.org/fl/jalen <vix207@aol.com>
Royal Palm Beach, FL - Tuesday, January 13, 2004 6:21 PM CST

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Hi Judy - what a beautiful, beautiful poem. There isn't a day that passes that I don't think about you. I hope that through all the hecticness we can get together sometime and soon. ((((HUGS)))) and love,
Tami <blessingsbyceleste@hotmail.com>
- Tuesday, January 13, 2004 5:47 PM CST

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Judy--WOW--I just don't know what to say. I got your webpage off another webpage & am so glad that I took the time to read it. What BEAUTIFUL children you have--all 4 of them. I'm so sorry for your loss & I hope that your family is doing well. I have 1 18 year old son & I am thankful everyday that he is healthy because I truly cannont imagine going through anything like this. I started reading Caring Bridge pages thru a little girl that lives where I live. She is 14 & has a rare form of liver cancer. Thru her (Michaela) I have learned so many things & am amazed at how strong these kids are. Please do NOT feel obligated but if you get a chance, check out her page: www.caringbridge.org/sd/michaela.
I will check back to your page & finish reading it, I couldn't make it thru the whole thing today but I will read the ENTIRE thing tonight when I get off work.
Best Wishes to you & your family!
Jodi Simerly <jlsimerly@yahoo.com>
Watertown, SD USA - Monday, January 12, 2004 12:28 AM CST

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just stopping in to let you know that you are in my thoughts and prayers today (as well as every day).. keeping you all close to my heart.
erika collier <erika_collier@hotmail.com>
tampa, fl - Monday, January 12, 2004 7:16 AM CST

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Lovely Poem Judy. Very expressive. I hope you have had a good day. I got your emails but haven't had a chance to answer them. I will soon though. I can't believe it's been four months as well.
Bryanne Weaver <weaverbj@nsuok.edu>
Tahlequah, OK USA - Sunday, January 11, 2004 5:36 PM CST

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Aunt Judy,
HI!!!!!!! Look its me, ur fave nephew! ~*~ so wats up i havent talked to you in a couple days, lol, thats not really a long time, but who cares you always want to talk to me!!! ok, i dont have anything else to say ?¿? sorry.

LOVE~ UR FAVORITE NEPHEW,
<3 JOSH <3

CALL ME!!!!
Josh Haffner <BuBBleBoy492@aol.com>
Pittsburgh, PA America - Sunday, January 11, 2004 2:15 PM CST

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Judy,

You still got it!! That poem is beautiful! It says so much and comes straight from the heart.

Julia darlin'
We miss you terribly. Thanks for letting Mommy feel your presence around her always. You have helped her alot.
Kisses and hugs to you Peanuthead from Aunt Cashew, Kyra and Cullen.

We love you all!
Jodi <sckycujo@verizon.net>
- Sunday, January 11, 2004 1:10 PM CST

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Judy,
Your poem is absolutley beautiful! I do not know where you find the strength that you have. You are just a totally awesome woman. All four of your children are extremely lucky to have you as their mom. You and Julia are an inspiration too many.
Always in thought & prayer,
Betsy
Betsy Kuczynski <Betsyalex@mail.com>
- Sunday, January 11, 2004 12:42 AM CST

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I'm another one of those who comes by regularly to check on you, and I carry you with me in my heart, but don't often sign in here. I hope to change that pattern as I well know myself, how much it means to KNOW folks are caring for you in hard times. Just wanted to let you know that you continue to be in my prayers. May God carry you gently close to His heart as you struggle to move forward, carrying dear Julia with you always. I think you are a wonderful Mom and you have a wonderful bunch of children there! God Bless them, and you and Jarrod as you heal together. It's so hard.. be patient with one another and sensitive to the different ways that each one in the family feels and processes the pain and hurt and sadness.

A BIG HUG for you sweet Judy.
Love,
Lynn

A LEGACY OF HOPE! Cancer Support & Encouragement
Lynn <lynn@legacyofhope.org>
Panama City, FL USA - Sunday, January 11, 2004 9:00 AM CST

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Judy, I heard this song playing on my radio tonight and I thought of you. It was written by Warren Haynes (one of the Allman Brothers).
I Shall Return
by Warren Haynes
As this wheel goes 'round and I search to find my way
Struggle just to hold on through an ordinary day
I do believe I'm slipping away

But I shall return though I'm losing myself
I shall return
I shall return from the depths of my own hell
I shall return

Fate should not have blinded me
For your beauty steals my eyes
And what good is my wisdom
When there are no words to say
How I feel everyday

But I shall return though I'm losing myself
I shall return
I shall return from the depths of my own hell
I shall return

Daylight finds me sleeping dreaming of my youth
But darkness calls my name out loud
And I answer to the truth

But I shall return though I'm losing myself
I shall return
I shall return from the depths of my own hell
I shall return

Oh, I shall return though I'm losing myself
I shall return
I shall return from the depths of my own hell
I shall return


A_Friend
VA - Sunday, January 11, 2004 1:04 AM CST

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Judy, You are indeed the strongest women I know! Tears were streaming down my face i could barely read the words of your poem through the tears. It was beautiful.
Julia was so lucky to have you for her mommy! Savor every moment with the other kids. And time will help. I am still in shock I think that you all have lost your babies. So many many familes on caringbridge. What a wonderul place to heal! Im praying for you.
Kim <dakk2222@netnitco.net>
IN - Saturday, January 10, 2004 8:44 PM CST

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Judy,
The poem is so beautiful. Thank you so much for sharing it. Hannah and I spent alot of time talking about Julia today. She has brought us so many smiles.
Love, Mary <zackysmom@city-net.com>
- Saturday, January 10, 2004 8:42 PM CST

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Judy-
You are by far the strongest woman I know! Your poem was so beautiful-right from your heart! With a mom like you, Julia couldn't be anything but an angel! Prayers to you and your family always!
DianeA.
Pittsburgh, pa - Saturday, January 10, 2004 7:54 PM CST

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Hi Judy,

I just stopped by to see how you are doing,, I read your poem to Julia,, ITS BEAUTIFUL!!! I'm sure she loves it very much. I so hope your pain eases, it breaks my heart that you and your family have suffered so much. I wish you better days ahead.
With much love from the Schmartz Family
Linda, John, Austyn and Rachel
Linda, Schmartz <Katausrac3@aol.com>
So Glastonbury, Ct - Saturday, January 10, 2004 7:38 PM CST

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Judy,
I found this song (lyrics below) through another caringbridge site a little girl named Ashley who also was taken too young. I hope that you don't mind me thinking of you and including it in your guestbook. I think on you always and continue to pray that you find peace. God Bless you, your family and Angel Julia.



PRECIOUS CHILD

Words and Music by Karen Taylor-Good

In my dreams, you are alive and well
Precious child, precious child
In my mind, I see you clear as a bell
Precious child, precious child
In my soul, there is a hole
That can never be filled
But in my heart, there is hope
'Cause you are with me still

In my heart, you live on
Always there never gone
Precious child, you left too soon
Tho' it may be true that we're apart
You will live forever... in my heart

In my plans, I was the first to leave
Precious child, precious child
But in this world, I was left here to grieve
Precious child, my precious child

In my soul, there is a hole
That can never be filled
But in my heart there is hope
And you are with me still

In my heart you live on
Always there, never gone
Precious child, you left too soon,
Tho' it may be true that we're apart
You will live forever... in my heart

God knows I want to hold you,
See you, touch you
And maybe there's a heaven
And someday I will again
Please know you are not forgotten until then


In my heart you live on
Always there never gone
Precious child, you left too soon
Tho' it may be true that we're apart
You will live forever... in my heart

Background Music - "Precious Child" - Karen Taylor-Good
Photo © Joyce Andrews;


Terri <tlc2866@sbcglobal.net>
Manchester, CT - Saturday, January 10, 2004 3:56 PM CST

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Judy, I'm afraid I haven't written in awhile, but that doesn't mean you aren't in my thoughts. If I could, I would take away all your heartache and pain, even if it's for just a fraction of a second. Your heart would be uplifted by all the love that surrounds you and you would never know the pain that could ever hurt so bad. I know words couldn't ever bring back the past but the thoughts of what was, can bring some joy into your heart baecause it was real. You still have Julia deep in your heart and she will always be with you.
You are an amazing woman and I envy you so much. The pain will go away some day, but the love never will. Hold on to your children, because Julia is in everyone of them holding on tight to you, just as you are to them.
Wish I was there to hold on too
Love you so much, Ami <rammaj.ami@earthlink.net>
Sugar Land, Texas - Saturday, January 10, 2004 3:00 PM CST

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Hey Jude,
Glad you had a good day today. Glad you were finally able to throw the masks away. I hope the bit of happiness or sereneness you felt today goes a very very long way.

I love you more than life itself!
Jode <sckycujo@verizon.net>
- Friday, January 9, 2004 7:41 PM CST

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Hi Judy,
I am so glad you are feeling better today. It's always good to have better days. I pray you will continue to experience God's peace and healing this weekend.
Bryanne Weaver <weaverbj@nsuok.edu>
Tahlequah, OK USA - Friday, January 9, 2004 6:38 PM CST

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Judy,

Wrapping my arms around you for a great big hug.
Love, Mary <zackysmom@city-net.com>
- Friday, January 9, 2004 5:45 PM CST

---

Hi Judy - So very, very glad to hear that you are feeling somewhat at peace and that you were able to get some rest. Those radiation masks... I mean, radiation really helps but I didn't like looking at Celeste with that on, on the monitor under sedation like that. Getting fitted for it was an experience in itself from a nightmare. Those images are permanently in by head and aren't exactly the best ones. I used to just stare at the monitor when she was going through the treatments. ThOse things should have never even had to touch our beautiful babies.

Jordan, getting up before the birds, reminds me of Grant. He's up so early sometimes... he needs his time too.

(((((((HUGS))))))))
Tami <blessingsbyceleste@hotmail.com>
- Friday, January 9, 2004 4:34 PM CST

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Hi Judy,
Hopefully, all the prayers that have been going your way played a part in your feeling a bit better. I hope and pray you become surrounded by grace and your days become more peaceful and serene. Please share with us all every little happiness and joy you feel so we'll know our prayers are being heard a little at a time. Love, peace and blessings,
Clare <m60cs@aol.com>
Pittsburgh, - Friday, January 9, 2004 4:10 PM CST

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HI, I check your website everyday and my heart aches for you. You need some time off the rocky road and some smooth sailing. I hope that this comes soon. Thanks for being so honest in your journals. It helps those of us that have been fortunate never to have gone through a child's death better understand those that have. You seem to be a very strong person. Stay strong for the rest of the family.
Mary Anne <maklein55@comcast.net>
Pittsburgh, - Friday, January 9, 2004 1:08 PM CST

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Rest when you can, take care of you because you carry so much on your shoulders and in your heart!!

HUGS and love,
Samantha <sletoile@msn.com>
Barrie, ON Canada - Friday, January 9, 2004 9:04 AM CST

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Sorry that the rest of everything is rocky- although it must feel like cliffs. You know, you, more so than anybody I know, deserves 'soft sand' instead of rocks. Our prayers are with you daily as you sort through the rocks. With hopes of soft sand in the future...Our love always...Shellie and Michael.
Shellie <khen608178@aol.com>
Pgh, pa usa - Thursday, January 8, 2004 6:34 PM CST

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Judy, I am so sorry. I wish I had more to offer. I don't know you, but I am touched by this webpage and when I read your updates, I feel your heartbreak. Please know I am thinking of you and wishing that you find some measure of peace and comfort today.
L. Hancock
Fredericksburg, VA USA - Thursday, January 8, 2004 7:17 AM CST

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You are very welcome - you are never far from my thoughts!!

All my love and hugs flying at you, and eveyone touched by Julia's life and love!!
Samantha <sletoile@msn.com>
Barrie, ON Canada - Wednesday, January 7, 2004 1:32 PM CST

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Hi Judy!

Ya know, I wish that I had something to say that would make you feel better, but I know that I don't (other than sharing my Julia sightings, but that's NOTHING like holding her in your arms) You have such a wonderful way of expressing yourself.... I am praying that your life comes to a more even keel soon... you deserve it!! Please know that I love you guys and my thoughts and prayers are with you.


Julia - Thanks so much for coming to visit me on vacation. It means so much to me to know that you still come around visit me and that you are flying free from that nasty cancer. You have touched me like no other! Geez Jules, by you visiting me I would almost think that you missed me.... good think I know better, huh? Love you!
Carla <carlaj@zoominternet.net>
butler, PA 16001 - Wednesday, January 7, 2004 1:08 AM CST

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Hey Judy,
I'm sorry that today was one of your harder days. I pray that tomorrow will be better. I hope the kids are over that nasty cold, I've got something like it and it isn't pretty.
Well, I hope everything goes ok tomorrow. Know that I'm thinking about you.
PS: I love the expressiveness of your entries, reminds me of some of the Psalms. Keep sharing your feelings like you do.
Bryanne Weaver <weaverbj@nsuok.edu>
Tahlequah, OK USA - Wednesday, January 7, 2004 0:28 AM CST

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Hi Judy,
My daughter Karina, also has a brain tumor (ATRT). We know the Burghart and McEllen family too. We lived across the hall from each other at Ronald McDonald House in Memphis.
I can't fully understand what you're feeling but your journals are wonderful, as far as expressing your feelings. I feel your pain and cry with you through your writing. I can always picture exactly what you write about. I know it had to be difficult cleaning out Julia's toybox. I cried when I read that, that would be extremely difficult.
I check your page everyday. I also pray for you and your family too. Take care and God bless you and your family.
Marci Hurtado <marci.lh@verizon.net or www.caringbridge.org/md/karinahurtado>
Laurel, MD - Tuesday, January 6, 2004 7:31 PM CST

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JulieBolieGuacamole,

We miss you so very much Sweetie! That's all I can seem to write right now......there's so much I want to say, but my fingers aren't moving.

We love you,

Aunt Jodi, Kyra and Cullen
Jodi <sckycujo@verizon.net>
- Tuesday, January 6, 2004 6:38 PM CST

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((((HUGS)))) that I wish I could be there giving you in person. I have needed them too lately. Like I have said before, I have no words for gratitude. You have just blessed me so with just you! Hang in there,
Tami <blessingsbyceleste@hotmail.com>
pgh, pa - Tuesday, January 6, 2004 3:13 PM CST

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Hi Judy,
You express yourself beautifully; ("holding the pain in your hand", etc.). I pray for you and your family daily, and I pray that this new year will bring you some peace, somehow, and that your children will give you the strength to go on. I continue to be grateful that you share your private thoughts with us, and I know that your sweet angel is smiling as she feels your love "up to the sky and back".
Janet <jperrirn@adelphia.net>
Pittsburgh, PA USA - Tuesday, January 6, 2004 2:10 PM CST

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Julia,

I am here talking to your wonderful MOMMY! she is a god sent. She misses you so very much honey, you need to send her a great big sign right now. Honey, I have not been able to get on here to write to you since before the Holidays. You were missed terribly! I want to wish you Merry Christmas and Happy New Year Baby! Joshua misses you so much I hope you visit him again real soon at school. Butterfly kisses and hugs sent your way. We love you Jules.
Judy, I wanted to make this for you but the timing just was not right! So here it is a nice poem sent from JULIA I love ya Jude!!


Merry Christmas From Heaven

I still hear the songs
I still see the lights
I still feel your love
on cold wintry nights

I still share your hopes
and all of your cares
I'll even remind you
to please say your prayers

I just want to tell you
you still make me proud
You stand head and shoulders
above all the crowd

Keep trying each moment
to stay in His grace
I came here before you
to help set your place

You don't have to be
perfect all of the time
He forgives you the slip
If you continue to climb

To my family and friends
please be thankful today
I'm still close beside you
In a new special way

I love you all dearly
now don't shed a tear
Cause I'm spending my
Christmas with Jesus this year.
Cathy <copalko@aol.com>
- Tuesday, January 6, 2004 1:11 PM CST

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I am just a stranger who happened upon your journal this evening and looked at the photos. Julia is and always will be one of the most absolutely beautiful young ladies I have ever seen! Your other children are so gorgeous also. I can see the love in your pictures and I wish I could take away your pain. I, too, am grieving from the loss of my beloved father earlier this year, so I can feel some of your pain. I know your wound is much more raw than mine, being so new. I am truly so sad that she had to leave you so soon. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers and I wish you every comfort and bit of peace at this time.
Tracee Saltz <TraceeSaltz@mchsi.com>
Des Moines, Ia - Monday, January 5, 2004 8:59 PM CST

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Hi Judy,
Just checking in again. Still thinking of you and praying daily. I'm glad it's January. The holidays are exhausting. No wonder everyone gets sick. Hope Jordan feels well soon. Let's focus on a new year and a new beginning. Good things must happen soon. Love, peace and blessings in 2004.
Clare <M60CS@AOL.COM>
Pittsburgh, PA USA - Monday, January 5, 2004 6:52 PM CST

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Yes, makes sense. In regards to your sweet daughter's comment about how she misses her too but doesn't have to cry - don't you wish we adults had the resilience and views of children??? How do they bounce back so easily from such loss, while we adults are barely able to carry on any semblance of a normal life?? But then again, the loss of a child is just such unbearable pain. In no way can it compare to a loss of a sibling, parent, spouse, etc.......NO ONE would ever be able to understand that pain, sorrow and tears unless they walked that road. I have not, but I am a mother and know there is NO OTHER LOVE like what I feel for my child. So, I can only imagine the horrific pain. So sorry for you having to go through this loss, please know you are often in my thoughts and prayers. I check here often. God bless. Eileen
www.caringbridge.org/il/ej
- Monday, January 5, 2004 4:51 PM CST

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Hi Judy, I have no clue what you are going through. It has to be tough. We had a few close calls with Emily, not the brain tumor but with her heart. She was born with 4 defects in her heart and had 3 open heart surgerys. She almost didn't make it through one of the sugeries. I know now with the brain tumor and the medicine and radiation she is going through I don't want her out of my sight. We have been going through medical for 12 years with Emily. She had a hard time going back to school today from the holidays. She cried and cried. My heart goes out to you and your family. I pray for you everyday that it will get easier. I am so sorry that you have to go through all of this pain. Keep in touch

Love and Prayers
Kim and Emily McEllen
Emily and Kim McEllen <pkremcellen@grics.net/www.caringbridge.org/il/emilymcellen>
Galesburg, IL USA - Monday, January 5, 2004 4:17 PM CST

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Hi Judy

I am sorry these past few days have been difficult for you.

You are always in my thoughts and prayers.

I hope that the Lord will bring his peace to you in this time
I have missed you, and I will be back in a couple of days to check on you.
Bryanne Weaver <weaverbj@nsuok.edu>
Tahlequah, OK USA - Monday, January 5, 2004 12:31 AM CST

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Just wanted to hug you today Judy and let you know you are in my thoughts!

HUGS and love,
Samantha <sletoile@msn.com>
Barrie, ON Canada - Monday, January 5, 2004 11:49 AM CST

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hi judy
i thought i would stop in and see how your holidays went. i think i room of butterflies and angels would look beautiful. take care
abbie
«♥Angel Mitchell♥» <afraser1@tru.eastlink.ca>
- Sunday, January 4, 2004 5:52 PM CST

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Thinking of you, as always. I also hope that this year will help to start the healing for you and Jarr. My prayers continue. All of your children are lucky to have you, you are making their days special as you keep Julia's memory alive for them. I wish for you the strength to continue on, and for more support from those who love you.
Shellie <khen608178@aol.com>
pgh, pa - Sunday, January 4, 2004 1:31 PM CST

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Hey Sista,

You don't know how it broke my heart to see you cry on New Years. First I was hurt that you weren't able to open up to me, but then you told me the timing wasn't right. Sometimes, even if we are together ALL the time, I feel like I don't know what's going on in your head or heart. I am glad we got to spend New Years together. Even if it was with "that girl"! :) Just kidding Amy. I haven't laughed that hard in a long time. It does my heart good to see you laugh.

I love you!
Jodi <sckycujo@verizon.net>
- Saturday, January 3, 2004 7:49 PM CST

---

Praying for healing hearts in 2004. Please know you are always close in thought. God bless, Eileen
www.caringbridge.org/il/ej - ALL ARE WELCOME TO VISIT :)
- Saturday, January 3, 2004 2:39 AM CST

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May we have better years ahead of us and may 2004 be headed toward healing, peace and blessings. It will take lots of breakthroughs and miracles to get there but lets keep taking it all one day at a time, as hard as it is. You and your family are always in my prayers. Miss seeing you,
Tami <blessingsbyceleste@hotmail.com>
- Friday, January 2, 2004 11:00 PM CST

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Hi Judy, Im glad you were able to laugh and cry with a friend on new years. Friends are awesome. I will continue to say special prayers for jarrod. And I pray that 2004 will bring you joy. I cant believe your little guy made it up so late. my 3 yr old was in bed by 10:00
Kim <dakk2222@netnitco.net>
IN - Friday, January 2, 2004 4:57 PM CST

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I'm so sorry I have not signed for a while, but I wanted to let you know you are not forgotten. I'm sure the holidays were hard without your precious baby. Please know that you continue to be in my thoughts and prayers. I will check on you again soon. Here's to hoping that 2004 will bring you more joy than sorrow!
Khalita My Caringbridge Site Duke Peds BMT Aplastic Anemia <khalita@hecaresonline.org>
Lexington, NC - Friday, January 2, 2004 12:55 AM CST

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Hi Judy!!

Happy New Year... I, like you, am PRAYING for a better 2003 for ALL of us! I can not take another year like it, and I'm sure that it doesn't even compare to yours. I am so sorry for everything that is going on in your world right now, as if losing Julia wasn't enough. I wish I could take it all away!!

Thoughts and prayers and hugs as always.
Love,
Carla <carlaj@zoominternet.net>
Butler, Pa - Friday, January 2, 2004 0:38 AM CST

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Hey Judy, this is Bryanne, checking in on you and wishing you a happy new year. I hope you and your family had a good day today. By the way, what town do you live in? The reason why I ask is because yesterday I called some of my cancerkids families to wish them a happy new year and I wanted to call you but I don't know what town you lived in or your number so I couldn't call directory assistance. whew! That was a lot to say in one breath! well, happy new year!
Bryanne Weaver <weaverbj@nsuok.edu>
Tahlequah, OK USA - Thursday, January 1, 2004 8:40 PM CST

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Judy, I stumbled onto Julia's page and I wanted you to know I am thinking of you during these times. The pictures on the site are lovely. I wish I had better words to say to you.
L. Hancock
Fredericksburg, VA USA - Thursday, January 1, 2004 6:13 PM CST

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Happy New Years Peanuthead!!!

Judy, I pray, beg and plead to G-d that this year is better, healing and less stressful that 2003. Please take one day at a time and look around and figure out what are the most important things and what things need not stress you. Dismiss unwanted stress. As always, I am here for you and am always willing to continue to help out anyway possible.

I love you!
Jodi <sckycujo@verizon.net>
- Thursday, January 1, 2004 6:08 PM CST

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Judy, I hope 2004 Brings you some peace And all good things you deserve! Praying for you always. Are you all avoiding the Flu this year? We have so far!
Kim Dale Kyle Andrew Ryan <dakk2222@netnitco.net>
IN - Thursday, January 1, 2004 2:31 PM CST

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Hi my friend. Happy New Year blessings to you and your family. We went bowling with some friends. I kept asking Michael all day to take a nap, and he said, No, I'm fired up! I finally gave up. when 12:00 came, he said, can we go home now, and I said No, I'm fired up. well he lastedtill 1:30. We had a nice time. Hope you start healing this year bit by bit. We pray for you and Jarr constantly. Love Shellie and Michael, who now must be referred to as Michael, not Mikey.
Shellie <khen608178@aol.com>
Pgh, PA usa - Thursday, January 1, 2004 10:44 AM CST

---

Judy,
Just checking in. I am so glad you got to see Nutcracker. Did I mention I messed up on John? I got he and Hannah tickets to A Christmas Carol instead of Nutcracker! OOPS! They enjoyed it though. Glad you made it through, but NOT AT ALL SURPRISED. I love ya Judy. If I can help with any of the other stuff, you know I am here. Maybe the kids can come play one day soon?

Julia,
Thank you so much for the visit on Saturday morning in the wee hours of the morning, and for watching over us as we travelled. I was driving to New York to visit family, and feeling so sad - missing you, and wanting you at home with your Mom and your family. The sun was about to come up, and it was soooo dark, and I just felt this terrible sadness, and started crying a bit while I was driving (the kids were sleeping, and thankfully, no traffic!). Then I saw the most BEAUTIFUL sunrise, and the most unbelieveable feeling of calm, and peace came over me! I know it was you Julia, telling me to GET A GRIP, and ENJOY the quiet (in the van) and the beauty of that Sunrise. It was so beautiful. Thank you so much Angel.
Love, Mary <zackysmom@city-net.com>
Pittsburgh, - Wednesday, December 31, 2003 5:14 PM CST

---

I CHECK YOUR WEBSITE ALOT AND THIS IS THE FIRST TIME I HAVE WRITTEN..I WISH YOU MUCH PEACE AND LOVE FOR THE NEW YEAR. I HAVE A COCOON OUTSIDE MY HOUSE THAT I CHECK ON EVERYDAY..IT IS JUST WAITING FOR THE RIGHT TIME TO BECOME A BEAUTIFUL BUTTERFLY..I THINK OF JULIA WHEN IS SEE IT. EVEN THOUGH WE HAVE NEVER MET I ADMIRE YOUR COURAGE AND STRENGTH. I ADMIRE THE WAY YOU TELL IT LIKE IT IS...I WISH YOU ALL THE BEST...

DENISE
http://www.caringbridge.org/ny/steven/ == Steven's website <dee3mom@yahoo.com >
LONG ISLAND, NY - Wednesday, December 31, 2003 12:57 AM CST

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Hey there! Happy Holidays! I have stopped by before, my name is Heather and I left you the link to Nicholas Castillo's caringbridge site. I want to thank you, for #1 stopping by and #2 for keeping this site. I sat here today not knowing how to feel. Nicholas passed away the day after Christmas and it has been so hard. I was extremely close to him and I didn't if what I was feeling was ok. I won't say "NORMAL" because there is nothing Normal about it. So as I sat here thinking and looking for answers I thought of you. I decided to read your past entries of when Julia passed and I realized that what I am feeling is ok. Its ok to be angry. When I was reading I felt like I was reading about my family. I know that we are not the 1st family to have to deal with this HORRIBLE disease, and we definetly are not the last. But I do know that I hope that someone finds comfort in my families writing the way I haev found comfort in yours. I will not accept that Nicholas is in a better place, becuase where can there be a better place for a five year old than with his family?!?!

I know that Nicholas went to Heaven and he had an Angel waiting to show him around. (Thanks Julia!)


www.caringbridge.org/nc/nicholascastillo
Heather <sienna058@aol.com>
- Wednesday, December 31, 2003 1:53 AM CST

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Happy New Year! I pray that this year drowns your hearts in love and support.

Judy, I am working on something for you and the family. Hopefully I will finish it in the next couple weeks and get it sent off soon.

In this difficult time, please remember that I am here to give only support, prayers, and love. Keep fighting,
Maddie www.caringbridge.org/mn/maddie <madelinepaguyo@yahoo.com>
- Tuesday, December 30, 2003 8:28 PM CST

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Dear Judy and family, A healthy, happy 2004 to all of you. May the new year bring you peace and help heal your broken hearts. May Julia continue to shine down upon you!! My thoughts and prayers are with you alwayS!
Kathy
- Tuesday, December 30, 2003 12:59 AM CST

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Judy, although I don't sign in often, I do check your page regularly. I am happy for you that you made it through the December days. I don't exactly what you are going through but we are always here for you. Venting to strangers can be easier sometimes because we are removed from the situation and can also be non judgemental.
So, if you ever want, feel free to email me and let it all out... I wouldn't get back to anyone.
I hope that this new year brings you some inner peace, as you surely deserve it. Julia wouldn't want you feeling this way, she wants to see you happy, so maybe for her sake you'll begin to feel a tad bit better.
Love and prayers coming to you
Cheryl P. <cpscraps@optonline.net>
Fair Lawn, NJ - Monday, December 29, 2003 11:31 AM CST

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Hi Judy,

I'm sitting here not knowing what to say to you right now, I just want to send you and your family a huge hug, and let you know you are thought of each and everyday. This whole situation is just so dam unfair, there is nothing that can make this better!!! I know someday you will feel better, and that time doesn't really heal all wounds, but time does spread out the pain, and that helps you deal with your pain from day to day a bit better. I so hope you and your husband can get to a better place, you need to be together right now, and it sounds like your husband is in a different zone, I guess thats to be expected to though.
I hope you have some better days,, soon.
With Love from the Schmartz family in CT
Linda, John, Austyn and Rachel

Linda Schmartz <Katausrac3@aol.com>
So Glastonbury , Ct - Monday, December 29, 2003 8:28 AM CST

---

Hey Judy - so glad to hear that you guys had such a nice night. I know what you mean about journaling. I even had someone tell me that they guessed that I must not have any secrets anymore, in a joking way. It's not like we come here as confession or anything. It's been immensely helpful though and it's brought us all together through all this. Unfortunately, getting feelings out completely is impossible when everything has been turned around as much as it has been for you and I. If you ever need to vent those other things, I'm sure that I can stand to do so too. I know that it's hard with the kids around, if not impossible but you can call anytime. I'm sure there are things that only you know and only that you understand and it's up to you to let it out when and if you're ready. Anger is different for everyone. I've been afraid that you wouldn't really want to hear from me because Celeste would just remind you of Julia. Isn't that the stupidest thing you've ever heard? I've just been afraid and angry and happy and praying and crying... laughing and singing... it's constantly a struggle. I am with you at heart always and I always will be - even if you don't hear from me for weeks... I'm thinking about you and praying for you all the time. Hang in there !!! (((((HUGS)))))
Tami <blessingsbyceleste@hotmail.com>
- Sunday, December 28, 2003 11:12 PM CST

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Judy,
Just dropping by to say hi and I am very glad to hear that your Christmas was good.
Still in my thoughts and prayers everyday!!!!
Love,
Betsy
Betsy Kuczynski <Betsyalex@mail.com>
- Sunday, December 28, 2003 10:24 PM CST

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Judy,
When it rains, it pours huh sista? You are going thru far more, ok how do I put this nicely...SHIT, then any one person deserves to be going thru. You are staying put together for Jord, Tine, and Jakey's sake. Please just take a good look around and find ways to lessen the other burdens, put responsibility soley where responsibility is due. Don't take on more stress then you or your body needs to.
Forever looking out for my sista!!
I love you!

Jules, my little Peanuthead, thanks for the visits to Kyra and I tonight. What a wonderful feeling to have you drop by!!! You made our night darlin'. Kyra, Cullen and I love you and miss you very very much!!!


Your Sista aka Aunt Cashew <sckycujo@verizon.net>
- Sunday, December 28, 2003 10:23 PM CST

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Judy, Im glad you were able to go out and enjoy yourself with justine. It sounds like a great evening actually.
I know your very angry Its o.k We all would be angry. And i know your dealing with much more than Julia It might help if you shared it with someone even the U suck club. Someone might be able to help with support like they do with Julia. Just a thought. I hope IT all resloves it self very quickly for you. Im praying for you and Jarrod and the kids.
Kim <dakk2222@netnitco.net>
IN - Sunday, December 28, 2003 8:30 PM CST

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Dear Judy and Family,
I am so glad to hear that you made it through the holiday season and that it went better than you had anticipated. Like you, my son was sick with an ear infection, bad cold and fever so I understand why you are tired. I hope you continue to have "better" days in the new year.!!! My prayers and thoughts are always with you.
Cindy Schiefer <cschiefer@earthlink.net>
Port St. Lucie, Fl USA - Sunday, December 28, 2003 6:15 PM CST

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Dear Judy
I'm so glad to hear you made it through the holidays... You made it through. Reading your journal I took a sigh of relief. I had been praying for G-D to help you all through this time. May the New Year bring Peace and Blessings to you all. I hope Nan is doing well.
Have a Blessed New Year
Paloma
ny - Sunday, December 28, 2003 3:11 AM CST

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Judy,
I wanted to stop by and let you know that I was thinking of you and your family over the holidays. I can't imagine how tough it was for you. But, You did it. I hope Julia's memories continue to give you strength.
Love and Prayers,
Sharon
Mom of Dylan
www.caringbridge.org/page/dylansworld
Port St. Lucie, Fl - Saturday, December 27, 2003 11:33 PM CST

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Dear Judy,

I am truly happy for you that you were able to enjoy your holiday, I'm sure it was very different, and not at all like you would have wanted to celebrate, but you did it. Its never going to be easy, living one day without Julia will never be easy,, but you can truly be happy again, and you will find that in time, you just took one small baby step towards that on these holidays. I wish you peace.
With Love from the Schmartz Family
Linda, John, Austyn and Rachel
Linda Schmartz <Katausrac3@aol.com>
So Glastonbury, Ct - Saturday, December 27, 2003 8:59 AM CST

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I am so glad to read that you made it through the last few days. My Dad died October 23, 1993 and that Christmas was very strange, almost surreal; I cannot imagine how hard it must be having lost a child. Continue to find strength in your family, Judy, not that I think you need it. You are one tough broad!
Love and hugs,
Trace <smikeandsmike@sympatico.ca>
- Saturday, December 27, 2003 2:42 AM CST

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Judy, I am so glad you made it through! I checked in on you yesterday, but couldnt sign your book, It was not loading for me, But i was able to sign cheyenns. My little ones have the same sickness. cough cold ect. they were sick on Christmas but enjoyed it anyway. I kept thinking of so many of the caringbridge familes yesterday. I went off by myself to pray for you all and just be silent for for sometime. I was so glad to see you did fairly well. Little nicholas passed away today. you can access him through cheyenns site. To many children are being lost to this horible thing. I rack my brains thinking there has to be a cure. Your on our minds and in our hearts all the time.

Julia, thanks for being near to mommy ,daddy and justine jordan and jacob! ANd letting her feel your Doing great with Jesus! Enjoying your health!
Kim <dakk2222@netnitco.net>
IN - Friday, December 26, 2003 10:37 PM CST

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HAPPY CHANUKAH AND MERRY CHRISTMAS JULIA!!!

We all love you Sweetheart!!!
Aunt Jodi, Kyra and Cullen <sckycujo@verizon.net>
- Thursday, December 25, 2003 8:15 PM CST

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Merry Christmas Levy Family! I hope you all have a wonderful day, just thought I'd let ya know I still think of you often and read all the journals!

~Erin
Proud Sister of Kaylyn Mei
http://www.caringbridge.org/sc/kaylynmei/

Erin <ccbubbless17@yahoo.com>
Columbia, SC USA - Thursday, December 25, 2003 5:24 PM CST

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Happy Holidays to the Levy family. I will think of you all today and light a candle in Julia's memory.

God Bless you all

Terri <tlc2866@sbcglobal.net>
Manchester, Ct - Thursday, December 25, 2003 11:37 AM CST

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Hi Angel Julia. I'm thinking of you this Christmas day. I pray that your family may find some peace and joy as you celebrate Christmas in Heaven.

Love,
Loni and Angel Codi
www.codibug.com

Loni <salemdualsport@aol.com>
Salem, OR USA - Thursday, December 25, 2003 3:38 AM CST

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CHRISTMAS GIFTS

IF I COULD GIVE YOU LOVELY GIFTS

TO MAKE GLAD YOUR CHRISTMAS DAY,

I WOULD NOT GIVE YOU A SINGLE ONE.

I'D TAKE SOME THINGS AWAY.

I WOULD TAKE AWAY ALL YOUR SORROWS

ALL PAIN AND DOUBT AND FEARS.

I'D TAKE AWAY THE LONELY HOURS

THAT WOULD COME THROUGHTOUT THE YEAR.

I WOULD TAKE AWAY ALL UNKIND WORDS

THAT MAKE YOUR HEARTACHES DEEP.

I'D TAKE YOUR WORRIES AND YOUR CARES,

THESE I WOULD NOT KEEP.

YOU SEE INSTEAD OF LOVELY GIFTS,

"IF I ONLY COULD"

I'D TAKE AWAY FROM YOU ALL THE BAD THINGS

AND LEAVE ROOM FOR ALL THE GOOD.

Author Unknown
Wishing you and yours a Happy Holiday.
I wish I knew what else to say. Just that you are much stronger than you realize.
Hugs and Hope, Love and Prayers to you from us, QOL
Cheryl <carpathienblue@yahoo.com>
- Wednesday, December 24, 2003 11:35 PM CST

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Judy,
I have been sitting here for 25 minutes typing & re-typing. Everything I write seems so meaningless. How do I tell you Happy Holidays when you are suffering the worst pain on the face of the earth?
I hope that you are able to find some happiness thru the many tears that will be shed.
Merry Christmas to you and your entire family.
Love,
Betsy
Betsy Kuczynski <betsyalex@mail.com>
- Wednesday, December 24, 2003 3:32 PM CST

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Hi Judy and family,

I just wanted to stop by and let you know that we are thinking of you and praying for you. I know the holidays are harder now, but little Julia is there watching over you and just waiting until you are together again.

God Bless
Cheyenne's dad
Roy

www.caringbridge.org/tx/cheyenne5
Roy Fiveash <rfiveash@wcc.net>
san angelo, tx - Wednesday, December 24, 2003 10:01 AM CST

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Hey Judy - been thinking about you and although we live pretty close, I miss seeing you. It's so hectic I can't even take a moment to think sometimes. Diagnosis day was the singlemost horrible day of my life. Like the day my life was turned upside down. It was right after Valentine's Day, one of my previous favorite days of the year. Now it just reminds me of Celeste bringing me her little present and within days, being diagnosed with a terminal illness. Needless to say, the holiday just reminds me of Celeste being diagnosed with cancer. Hang in there. My prayers are with you and your family forever and I hope that you can have a blessed and peaceful Chanukah. We're taking it day by day by day...
Tami (Celeste's mommy) <blessingsbyceleste@hotmail.com>
pgh, pa - Wednesday, December 24, 2003 1:11 AM CST

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Levy family! Happy Holidays. May you find some peace and enjoyment through the eyes of jacob, justine ,jordan God bless you! thinking of you during this holiday season and always,
Kim <dakk2222@netnitco.net>
IN - Tuesday, December 23, 2003 10:01 PM CST

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Judy,
I found this website a couple of months ago, when we in the adoption community lost Marissa. I have been reading your site and I wanted you to know that one more person you don't know, cries with you and prays for you.
Shelley Wilterdink <RochelleW615@msn.com>
Manheim, PA - Monday, December 22, 2003 5:35 PM CST

---

May peace be with you this holiday season. Thinking of you all!
Michele <mash128@hotmail.com>
Winona, MN - Monday, December 22, 2003 3:20 PM CST

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Hey Judy, I was thinking about you (and praying for you) all weekend. I will call you this week. Candle light service at 7:00 p.m. on Wednesday if you want to come. Much love and hugs to you and yours. --- Cindy T.
Cindy <Cindy.Toth@vai-inc.com>
Pittsburgh, PA USA - Monday, December 22, 2003 12:20 AM CST

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Hi Judy,
I just want to remind you that you will forever be in my thoughts and prayers. I hope that you are able to salvage some good moments this holiday season. You are so incredible, strong and focused. Don't ever sell your self short. All of your children are truly blessed to have you as their mother. I know that Julia is always with you.

Much love and hugs to all of you,

Terri <tlc2866@sbcglobal.net>
Manchester, CT - Sunday, December 21, 2003 6:18 AM CST

---

Well Jud, looks like I have to wake up early every morning and be with you and stay with you (and shop if necessary) to keep you smiling and be there for you when you're not. It's always fun hanging out with you. There could be worse things in life to do than hang out with your sista! I'm glad I'm with you now! I love you from the bottom of my heart!

Jules,
Happy Chanukah Peanuthead!! Thanks for my visit this morning!! It was awesome! (I have a picture that I got in the mail from I friend of mine with her family and I looked at it many times, as did Judy when she was over lastnight. This morning I noticed green glitter all over it). That was my JulieBolieGuacamole stopping by for a visit!! :)
Much love and kisses darlin' from Kyra and Cullen also!
Jodi <sckycujo@verizon.net>
- Saturday, December 20, 2003 9:58 PM CST

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Judy,
Just dropping a line to let you know I am thinking of you, as always. I know this has to be a very trying time for you. Lean on those that are near and dear. Let someone be your pillar of strength for a while.
You are always in my thoughts and prayers.
Please take care of yourself.
Much Love,
Betsy
Betsy Kuczynski <betsyalex@mail.com>
Pgh, PA - Saturday, December 20, 2003 8:08 PM CST

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Hey Judy,
I hope your day went well. I understand how hard it was for you. I thought of you and your family. Hope all is going well. PS, did you get the link I sent you through the guestbook?
Bryanne Weaver <weaverbj@nsuok.edu>
Tahlequah, OK USA - Saturday, December 20, 2003 4:44 PM CST

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Judy,
Just thinking of you so much today. I was glad to see a smile from you earlier. Hope you had a good time out. We were at the Preschool yesterday. Reminded me of the graduation. Yes - tears started again. Always know I am here for you - whatever you need. Stop by after work some day soon.

Julia,
We all still miss you so much. We know you are always here with all of us - especially Mummy and Daddy and Jordan, Justine, and Jacob. I just want to see your smile again. I want to see you roll your eyes at Hannah when she is being a pest. We Love you always Julia.
Love Mary <zackysmom@city-net.com>
- Saturday, December 20, 2003 11:44 AM CST

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I've signed the guest book a few times but I wanted you to know that I check in on you often and it's comforting to read your entries and hear that you're still plugging through life. I never met Julia, I found this site through another Caring Bridge site but I think of her often, most especially when I think of butterflies. I'm sure that she's sitting on your shoulder throughout this holiday season, just enjoying the scenery as an angel. I wish you peace in your hearts.
Melissa
West Haven, CT - Saturday, December 20, 2003 7:10 AM CST

---

As always my dear sista,

I am here for you to lean on, even moreso on these very hard, trying, emotional days.

I love you!
Your dear Sista <sckycujo@verizon.net>
- Saturday, December 20, 2003 6:34 AM CST

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Judy, I am thinking and praying for you as tomorrow (saturday) is a rough day for you! And the the holiday is basically here too. Thanks to Roys daily countdown. I am very aware now! Hugs to you !
Kim <dakk2222@netnitco.net>
IN - Friday, December 19, 2003 10:10 PM CST

---

Hi Judy,
Its been a while since I have signed your guest book, but I do check on you often, I sometimes just don't know what to say, I'm sure there is nothing that i can ever say that will comfort you. This time of year is just the worst for families who have lost loved ones, but for families who have lost children is especally harder. I hope that you can some how have some peace for the Holidays, I know your other children will bring you more joy than anything in the world, and that Julia will be there with you all in her loving spirit( I know thats not enough though)

Much Love from the Schmartz Family in Ct
Linda, John, Austyn and Rachel
Linda Schmartz <Katausrac3@aol.com>
So Glastonbury, Ct - Friday, December 19, 2003 10:25 AM CST

---

Hoping the happy thoughts out number the sad ones!

HUGS and love,
Samantha <sletoile@msn.com>
Barrie, ON Canada - Friday, December 19, 2003 7:52 AM CST

---

Judy, just letting you know I was thinking of you and the family tonight. Hoping that you find the strength to get through the holidays. I can only imagine how unbearable that must be. Please know I am praying for you all. Eileen
www.caringbridge.org/il/ej
- Friday, December 19, 2003 0:52 AM CST

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Judy, Just letting you know I still check in to read your journals. I had a wonderful time Sat. night at your house, it was great being able to sit around and talk, and laugh, and sorry but cry.Promise no more surprises, just plain old get togethers, but you know we all love you and just want to be there for you no matter what. My thoughts are with you so much now, please just take some deep breaths, and don't feel you have to hold anything in, you are human and a wonderful mother, and Jules will always be by your side, and help you through the holidays. Remember I'm here if you need me.
Love to all of you guys and have a blessed holiday.
I love you sweetie

Peggy
Peg <bobnpeg8@cs.com>
- Thursday, December 18, 2003 8:31 PM CST

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Judy,
Wow! One year and it makes me sick to my stomach. Sorry but that is the truth. I thought of Julia all day today and when I do I wear her tshirt from her fundraiser. Judy, I know how much you are going through right now and please release all you want. This is a terrible time of the year and we are all here for you in anyway possible. Gosh, I miss Jules so much. Joshua said laying in bed tonight that Julia is not at the cemetary, she is in his class room everyday, and I told him he was right. That is only her shell and she is close by everyone of us at all times. I am really not in the Christmas spirit at all either, because December sucks! But thanks to the rest of the children they keep us all going. Judy, I have found such a great friend in you and I am so glad.....I love you and I will help you all the way through this.

Julia,
Honey we miss you so much it hurts. I know that you are with us always but we just miss seeing those big beautiful blue eyes, and that shy smile of yours when Joshua would walk in the room. I love you Julia. Be sure to take extra good care of Mommy these next few weeks. Butterfly kisses sent your way. xoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Cathy <copalko@aol.com>
- Wednesday, December 17, 2003 9:51 PM CST

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Hey Judy!!

I can not believe that it's been almost a year that we had the unfortunate pleasure of meeting (I love ya, but would have prefered to meet you some other way!)and your life has become hell on earth. You are in my thoughts and prayers as you have been from Day 1 of our meeting. I can remember Maryann and I saying that we have never had a patient wrap their hands around our heart as quickly as Julia did... and she has never let go! Hugs for you all!!

Love,
Carla <carlaj@zoominternet.net>
Butler, PA - Wednesday, December 17, 2003 1:11 PM CST

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Judy,
I just wanted to let you know that I have been following your journal for some time now,but was never sure of the right words to leave you. I was crushed by the loss of beautiful Julia. I know she is happy and free now and will live on inside of all of your hearts forever. I wanted to also let you know that i have made a donation to St. Judes Childrens Hospital in Julia's name. If it helps one family not have to go through the pain that you have then every penny was worth it. You are in my thoughts and prayers Merry Christmas
Kimberlee Blackburn (friend of Mary's) <Btyboop9981@aol.com>
Hayward , Ca - Wednesday, December 17, 2003 11:05 AM CST

---

Judy,
My prayers are with you and your family at this very difficult time. Happy Holidays. God Bless.
Jan Weis
Bridgeville, PA USA - Wednesday, December 17, 2003 9:52 AM CST

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Judy, I had to stop by to tell you this. Yesterday, I was at the Hazelwood Library. In the front of the library they have shelves of new fiction books. I was searching through to find a book and I was taken aback by what I found. I pulled out a book titled "Julia" (I forgot the auth's
name :{) and on the cover of the book was a butterfly. I instantly thought of you. Love, Des
Desiree Deasy <deasyfam4@aol.com>
Pgh, PA USA - Wednesday, December 17, 2003 8:25 AM CST

---

Judy,
I just wanted to let you know that I still check on you daily and pray that somehow comfort and peace find you. I can only imagine how terrible the 20th is going to be for you. I will never understand why such a beautiful little girl was taken so early in life. I certainly will be thinking of you. God Bless all of you.

Much love and hugs,
Terri <tlc2866@sbcglobal.net>
Manchester, Ct - Wednesday, December 17, 2003 7:45 AM CST

---

Just a quick note to say hello and let you know that you're constantly on my mind. I wanted to come this weekend but Celeste's moods have been up and down... nevermind, you know! Thankfully, they're mostly ups but it's hard to get out around people. I'm not much company really anyhow - just kind of blank lately. It's just all too much sometimes but we are blessed to have love to kind of buffer everything enough to keep going. Hang in there,
Tami <blessingsbyceleste@hotmail.com>
pgh, pa - Wednesday, December 17, 2003 0:46 AM CST

---

Judy,
It was such a nice time Saturday. Thank you for letting us invade your home! I think everyone had fun! And no more surprises!

Love you my friend.
Love, Mary <zackysmom@city-net.com>
- Tuesday, December 16, 2003 9:43 PM CST

---

Julia, thanks for sparing some time for me while I spoke to you the other night. I was doing laundry, alone in my basement, and just carried on a conversation with you. It was a good one. I had to go to the funeral home yesterday to drop something off and was alone there for a moment and walked over and looked in the room where you were laid out. The flood of memories...the room, the casket, the tons of people, the emotions were overwhelming. Keep smiling your precious smile down on everyone especially Mommy. She needs to feel you all around her just as much as you can, Peanuthead! I love you and miss you terribly. Everynight when I give Kyra a kiss and hug goodnight, she grabs a hold of me and tells me to say the password, then I have to say, "I love Julia and Butterflies" and then she lets me go. :) Kyra and Cullen miss and love you very much!

Judy..hang in there. Don't take everything on at once. Deal with things one at a time. Don't let anyone pull you down. Remember to take a step back and catch your breath.
I love you!
Jodi <sckycujo@verizon.net>
- Tuesday, December 16, 2003 9:09 PM CST

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Judy,

Maybe the fact that you need to force yourself to journal lately is a good sign. Maybe you are finding other ways to cope with your pain and although "heal" may be not be the right word...it could be the first step to whatever lies ahead. I had a dream last night that I met you in person. (I actually have once when Jodi lived in Florida). However, you came to visit me at the house I grew up in in New Jersey. (weird), I guess you have just been on my mind.
Cindy Schiefer <cschiefer@earthlink.net>
Port St. Lucie, Fl USA - Tuesday, December 16, 2003 5:48 PM CST

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Wow the U suck club is wonderful they dont suck at all! what great friends and family you have. Im so glad you have them by you. Hang in there judy!
Kim <dakk2222@netnitco.net>
IN - Tuesday, December 16, 2003 9:49 AM CST

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Judy , Judy Judy, You have been on my mind all day today, so that usually means your not doing well, There have been 1,110 more hits on your site since your last post. So that is alot of people that care and are still checking in on you daily! I bet your so busy with the other kids getting ready for the holidays. And not feeling at all like doing anything . Well we are here to pick you up and help you through it.
Sweet julia.. Please help mommy and daddy especially during the holidays. Let them feel that your Wonderful in Heaven and having the best Christmas /channukah with jesus. Your only a heart beat and dream away .They dont feel much like anything w/o you. That is how specail and loved you are . Happy Holidays in heaven sweet girl. I look forward to meeting you someday!
Kim <dakk2222@netnitco.net>
IN - Monday, December 15, 2003 10:26 PM CST

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Hey Judy,
I hope you and your family are doing well. Are the kids out of school yet? I got out this past friday. I hope you have had a good day. I know this time is really difficult without your daughter. I'm singing the poem/song I wrote for Julia at church on wednesday night. I'll check up on you soon.
Bryanne Weaver <weaverbj@nsuok.edu>
Tahlequah, OK USA - Monday, December 15, 2003 5:06 PM CST

---

Little Angels
When God calls little children
to dwell with Him above,
We mortals sometime question
the wisdom of His love.

Perhaps God tires of calling
the aged to His fold,
So he picks a rosebud,
before it can grow old.

God knows how much we need them,
and so He takes but few
To make the land of Heaven
more beautiful to view.

Believing this is difficult
still somehow we must try,
The saddest word mankind knows
will always be "Goodbye."

So when a little child departs,
we who are left behind
Must realize God loves children,
Angels are hard to find.




--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Evette (Mary's friend at HH) <skyian@comcast.net>
westland, MI USA - Saturday, December 13, 2003 7:10 PM CST

---

Judy,
I wish there were something "new" for me to say to you. Every thought, feeling, has been stated time and time again. I only hope that you and Jerry will find some peace and maybe a smidge of happines this holiday season. My heart breaks for you so much. With every journal entry you share I sit here and cry and cry. Life is so unfair at times. There is really no good answer for any life being taken away, especially a child. When something little goes wrong in my life I get upset, frustated, than I think of you and feel so foolish for getting upset over something stupid. Everything is so trivial compared to what you and your entire family are going thru. With all I have to give in my heart I hope that you and your family have a peaceful holiday. If I had one wish I would give it to you!
Much Love to you,
Betsy
Betsy Kuczynski <Betsyalex@mail.com>
Pittsburgh, - Saturday, December 13, 2003 2:12 PM CST

---

Hi Judy, I continue to pray for your strength during this holiday season. Stay strong, I'm sure Julia is with you every second of the day...smile with her, share happy thoughts. God bless you.

http://lightingchildrenslives.org

Melanie Davila <positivestories@aol.com>
- Saturday, December 13, 2003 11:22 AM CST

---

Hi Judy,
It has been a while since I signed the guestbook so I thought I better drop by. I feel the same way you do. It is so hard to feel festive. I haven't put up a tree or nothing. Even my other 2 kids say that is doesn't feel like Christmas without Zach. My husband and I can't even go shopping. It is just too hard. I see so many things that Zach would have loved. We did decorate his grave with a lighted tree and ornaments and lots of other decorations. It looks beautiful. I'm sure he is enjoying it. I'm here for you Judy. Maybe we can help each other through this difficult holiday season. Sending hugs and lots of prayers your way............
www.caringbridge.org/nm/zach
Misti Herrera-mother of angel Zach <dmherrera14@msn.com>
Artesia, NM USA - Saturday, December 13, 2003 0:26 AM CST

---

Hi Guys!! With this time of hustle and bustle and busy times being abound for everyone... I continue to think about you guys often. I found this poem and thought you might enjoy it!.

I Cry not for you, but I Cry for me.
I Cry not because you are gone from me, But because you left me behind.
I Cry because, I don't know the beauty and love that you feel and see.
I Cry not because I think your sad, but because I am sad.
I Cry not because the love is gone, but I Cry because my love for you is so strong.
I Cry for me because I wasn't quite ready to give you up.
I Cry not because your not here with me, but because I'm not there with you.
I Cry not that your soul was lifted up to heaven.
I Cry because you left us here on this earth so full of emptiness without you.
I Cry for me every time I think of you.
I Cry for your Dad and your Brother.
I Cry for all of those who loved you so dearly.
I Cry not for you, for where you are.
I Cry for us, for where we are, and that we are not with you. Every tear drop that falls from my eyes, are tears of joy and of gladness that you were such a wonderful part of my life.

I Cry not to be with you, to experience the beauty, the splendor, and the abundance of things wonderful. To know what it's like for everything to be simply perfect.....................

by: Nancie L.White Walkinbeauty

May all of our love keep you warm this holiday season.

Carla
Butler, PA - Friday, December 12, 2003 10:11 PM CST

---

May love surround you
May faith sustain you
May hope encourage you
Day by day

Amy, Mom to Angel Delaney, 4/9/96 - 1/7/2002, dx. AML Leukemia 2/6/01, fought courageously for 11 months, and Kevin, 11, with ADD, loves tennis and roller coasters.
Delaney's website: www.caringbridge.com/ca/delaney
Amy, Mom of Angel Delaney and Kevin, age 11 <Wright_Amy@hotmail.com>
San Diego, CA USA - Thursday, December 11, 2003 11:26 AM CST

---

Sending a huge hug with lots of love to wrap you in.

HUGS and love,
Samantha <sletoile@msn.com>
Barrie, ON Canada - Thursday, December 11, 2003 9:04 AM CST

---

Hi Judy,
I come to Julia's page often to check and see how you are doing. I know this Thanksgiving felt very empty this year for us, and we are going away for Christmas, because we need to do something for our kids, because we are doing nothing for Christmas. Even though we also lost a child, each experience is different, and while I am going through something similar, I don't fully understand what you are going through. I pray that God gives you peace, and some measure of happiness this holiday season. As someone told us at church last night, our children don't want us to be sad. They are living in perfect joy, where there is no more sorrow, and they are waiting for us. I didn't forget about the book, we still haven't moved from our other house completely. I will get you that book. It helps answer questions that we had, and I hope it will bring you a measure of assurance. We think of you often, and you continue to be in our prayers.
Craig Levine daddy to Elijah www.caringbridge.org/il/elijah <wakbyfaith@yahoo.com>
Pawnee, IL - Thursday, December 11, 2003 7:13 AM CST

---

Praying for all of your family as I know this will be a difficult Christmas without beautiful Julia. May you feel God's presence and loving arms surround you as you face each new day.

Debbie Nagy
St. Louis, MO - Wednesday, December 10, 2003 11:57 PM CST

---

Your family is always in my prayers but especially now as this will be your first Christmas without your precious baby, Julia. I am sure she will have a wonderful Christmas in Heaven, running around and happy but I know you love to have just another moment with her in your arms. Love, Tracy
Tracy and Katia <tmsol87@aol.com>
- Wednesday, December 10, 2003 7:47 PM CST

---

Hi Judy,
Just wanted to check in and let you know my thoughts and prayers remain with you daily. I know how horribly hard this is, but you are doing such a tremendous job with everything! Even if you don't feel strong, you ARE!
I sent a little parcel several weeks ago, hope you received it!
lots of love from 'angel' Nolan's mom
Lorraine <loralof@yahoo.com>
- Wednesday, December 10, 2003 0:17 AM CST

---

Judy,
We are all crying with you!!!
Cindy Schiefer <cschiefer@earthlink.net>
Port St. Lucie, FL USA - Tuesday, December 9, 2003 7:33 PM CST

---

Judy:

I was sent Julia's web address from someone who asked me to come by. As I cried my way through many of your prior journal entries, I have to admit that they brought back some very difficult memories for me. I am so sorry about your loss. Julia is such a beauriful little girl. Heaven is sure lucky to have her walking the streets of gold, playing with the many other children up there right now.

I can't say that I know your pain completely, but I CAN identify with what you have been through. My daughter, Noelle, left us a little over a year ago from the result of a nasty bsg. I can still hardly believe that our "healthy" daughter had cancer... let alone terminal cancer.

Noelle left us with so many wonderful memories. I am so lucky to have had the chance to be her mommy. As painful as everything was and still is, I would not change being her mommy for anything. When Noelle was first diagnosed, my husband and I did not know how we would tell our then five-year-old that she was going to die. Well, Noelle never gave us a chance to think about it for long. After the initial oncology appt. she asked us, "What all of that was about?" God immediately put the words on the tip of my tongue when I told her, "There is something growing in your brain that the doctors cannot fix, they can only help you be comfortable." Noelle's immediate response was, "Well, God has all the power."

Noelle's amazing attitude during her illness is what helped us keep our eyes focused on what was important... glorifying the Lord in ALL situations. I have to admit that at times it is SO VERY hard for me to continue to be grateful in such a difficult situation. Especially after my best friend in the entire world just left me as the result of cancer... Oh, did I mention that our 11-month-old had just left us 4 months and 4 days prior to Noelle's departure. His untimely death was ultimatley the result of a medical error.

While Noelle and Nicholas were sick, Noelle asked me if kids were supposed to be sick. When I told her, "No, honey," Noelle's immediate response was, "God picked us to be sick." I really have to admire Noelle's response. I have to continually remind myself that God did indeed pick not only Noelle and Nicholas to be sick, but so many other children as well. As much as we parents hurt without our children here it makes be happy to know that God picked me to be Noelle and Nicholas's mommy. He picked us to go through this with them because He knew that we could handle this assignment. (Don't get me wrong, if God had a sign up sheet asking for willful volunteers for such a diffucult task, I really think that I would have been the one running in the other direction).

Judy, please know that I am praying for you and your family. I will pray for you as you go through your first holiday season without having your precious Julia to hold in your arms. I have to admit that we are on our second Christmas without Noelle and Nicholas and I still don't feel like celebrating at all. I know that even though I don't feel like giving glory to the Lord this holiday, I have to. You see, it's because of Him that one day I will be reunited with my children once again... just as you will be reunited with Julia.

I will pray that you will feel sweet Julia's spirit through the holidays. I will pray that God will hold you tightly and remind you that He does indeed love you very much. And I will pray that you will be able to find a small piece of comfort in the days that lie ahead.

www.caringbridge.org/nc/noellenicholas

Yours in Him,

Wendy Baber <vbaber@triad.rr.com>
Winston-Salem, NC USA - Tuesday, December 9, 2003 7:02 PM CST

---

Judy,
I am sorry that I have not been by in a while to check on you and the children. I have been really busy with Scott and his family. I understand the pain and hurt that you are going through and I want you to know that Julia is walking the streets of heaven. I will be praying for you
kelli froman <lilk_21@yahoo.com>
louisville, ky us - Tuesday, December 9, 2003 6:13 PM CST

---

Judy,
Just stopping by to say hello and we are here for you all. I have no words that could make even the smallest dent in your horrible, unfair pain. I am just sorry that there isnt anything I can say or do to make it all ok again. I am praying for some peace for you and the family esp during the holidays and always. I wish there was more I could do for you my friend.
Much love, hugs, and prayers.
A & D & Z
Amy Drahusz
- Tuesday, December 9, 2003 11:10 AM CST

---

I'm glad you got to decorate your work place with one of your co-workers. That sounds fun. I hope today is a great day for you and your family.

PS. thanks so much for visiting Mckenzie!
Bryanne Weaver <weaverbj@nsuok.edu>
Tahlequah, OK USA - Tuesday, December 9, 2003 4:41 AM CST

---

Judy,

John and I just finished putting up the tree. No decorations yet, but the tree is standing. We started talking about Jules, and the tears started. We BOTH cried for Julia, but even more for you and Jarrod. We Cried for Hannah losing her friend, and for other changes as well. I can never fully understand your pain, never. Neither can I understand where your strength comes from. You are such a wonderful Mom. We pray Jarrod can find the strength as well - I pray he is headed in the right direction. We love you ALL so much, and are here for you for whatever we can give you. ANYTHING!!! I know John has not spoken to Jarrod lately, but he is never out of his thoughts and prayers - please tell him that. Nor is he out of mine.

I am so sorry this hurts so bad. I am so sorry there is nothing I can to change it. I am so sorry I could not do more for you and Julia. I am so sorry she is gone - I know she is in heaven, but she should be here. With her family. This just sucks.

Well, in re-reading your entry - I can not type through the tears anymore, so I will go now.

Julia, we love you and miss you. I miss seeing you playing with Hannah. She misses you so, and talks about you all of the time. We let every day garbage (work, etc.) get in the way of seeing you more often. I pray everyone can learn from that - the garbage can wait. I am glad we got to see you so often over this last year. One of my favorite times was the day we spent at the baseball field playing in the van. It was so great. Hannah wanted you to help her clean her room again yesterday, but I explained that your Mom and Dad needed you WAY more than she did yesterday and right now. Keep an eye on them (I know you do). I wish I had more memories to share of when you both were younger, but I am so greatful for the memories I have. Thank you Perfect Angel.

We love you all. ALWAYS.


Love, Mary, John, and Hannah, and Zack, Dan & Katie <zackysmom@city-net.com>
- Tuesday, December 9, 2003 0:49 AM CST

---

Hi, just signing in to let you know you are in my thoughts. I check your page daily. I am glad all your visitors in the guestbook help you out. I am praying for Peace to fill you this Christmas - I know it is terribly hard for you and that you do not feel like celebrating. I must congratulate you on forging ahead for the sake of your other children - you are a wonderful Mom!
Eileen www.caringbridge.org/il/ej ----- All are welcome to come visit--Please come by!
- Monday, December 8, 2003 11:49 PM CST

---

Judy,
I still come to Julie's page to check on you and your family. I love and appreciate the honesty you use in your postings. Sometimes I get in trouble for being so honest in my updates. That happened to me just today. Thanks for letting me know that it's ok to get mad and express it on the caringbridge pages. You went through this horrific journey with your child. I'm currently on a similiar road with my husband. Not the same, but kinda the same! My heart aches for your loss, especially this time of year. May God See You Through to The Other Side.
Blessings to your family!
www.caringbridge.org/tx/gregk
Mim <mim@advantexmail.net>
Wylie, TX USA - Monday, December 8, 2003 11:48 PM CST

---

Dear Judy
I read the words from your journal and I see the pain hemorraging through and imagine it must feel like maddness. To helplessly witness it tears my heart. I know this season will be one of most difficult things you'll go through your entire life. Words are not adequate. But please know that from a humble and sincere place in my heart I wish you relief and comfort and I will continue to pray...its the only thing I am in the position to do.
G-D Be With You Now and Always
Paloma
ny - Monday, December 8, 2003 8:36 PM CST

---

I too am wiping away the tears. I am sorry that you are all hurting so much. I know this time of year is not easy when you have lost a loved one. I am thinking and praying for you always. Little Julia will indeed hold you all tighter, as she knows you need her more than anything. Hugs!
Michele <mash128@hotmail.com>
Winona, MN - Monday, December 8, 2003 2:33 PM CST

---

Wiping away tears, wishing for peace and sending you some more love.

HUGS and love,
Samantha <sletoile@msn.com>
Barrie, ON Canada - Monday, December 8, 2003 9:26 AM CST

---

I wish I could give you a hug Mrs. Levy. I'm not sure what to say. But I'm glad you can express yourself and how you feel.
Bryanne Jolene Weaver <weaverbj@nsuok.edu >
Tahlequah, ok USA - Monday, December 8, 2003 2:06 AM CST

---

Hi Judy, I saw your caringbridge address on Jake's site and thought I'd touch base. I remember your posts on the protocel site while my daughter Alyssa was dealing with her brain tumor. I didn't realize that Julia went to Heaven 2 days before Alyssa. I have to give you credit for decorating. I only opened 1 box, saw one ornament with all of our names on it, and closed the box, left the attic and we have an undecorated house this year! I did buy a tree for Alyssa's grave. We are planning to run away for Christmas to a cabin in North Carolina so I'm hoping to get by without having a tree. Our daughters are ok with it so far because they are excited about the trip. I just couldn't face waking up Christmas morning here without her. You're doing great if you can get out the Christmas stuff! Give yourself credit where due! The other thing I wanted to share with you was a thought that came to me a week ago that has brought me great comfort. It's one of those thoughts that must be from God because it was certainly not of me. It just hit me that the day I see my daughter again, the joy will be far greater than the amount of the pain I have now. I love basking in that thought. Immagining what that day will be like when I get to hold her again FOREVER. I thought it may bring you the same peace or a happy moment like it does for me.

God bless you Judy. If I can ever help in any way please let me know.
Beth
Beth Blackburn <Beths34t@aol.com>
North Palm Beach, FL USA - Sunday, December 7, 2003 11:46 PM CST

---

Hi Judy,

I have been thinking about Julia all day. Smiling sometimes, and crying others. I do not have any answers either - just so many questions. It is so unfair. I'm glad Jarrod was there for you today.

I know this Holiday season sucks. I am here if you want to vent in any way, my dear friend.

I love you! I love you all! My heart breaks for your pain. I am keeping you all in my prayers.
Love, Mary <zackysmom@city-net.com>
Pittsburg, - Sunday, December 7, 2003 10:19 PM CST

---

Hi Judy,

Just came by to simply say I'm thinking of you from across the other side of the world.

With love from New Zealand,
Angela

Angela Mills <angela@multi-media.co.nz>
Auckland, New Zealand - Sunday, December 7, 2003 9:53 PM CST

---

Judy, Im so sorry julia is not here with you! My heart Breaks for you honestly! I think they would have to commit me i wouldnt stop screaming. I would be so angry. I think everything your going through is very normal for the greiving process. Im so glad that jarrod is coming around and your able to cry with him. I give you so much credit for even decorating. I knwo you feel like you have to for the other kids. And like Ive said many times before the other kids will be the reason you go on. They are so darn cute! I dont know how you can ever discipline them. I think As painful as it was to be alone today it was a great time for you to let loose and let it out. Cry cry scream and scream until you cant anymore. Then Try to remember the happy times and look towards being with sweet julia. She will help you get through the holidays In a bitter sweet sorta way! We all care very much and are here for you to lean on.
Kim <dakk2222@netnitco.net>
Hebron, IN - Sunday, December 7, 2003 9:43 PM CST

---

Hey Mrs Levy

I came by to see how you are doing today since you haven't posted in a few days. I hope everything is going ok. If you could pray for Mckenzie Brewer I would really appreciate it. She has the same tumor as Julia had and her MRI on Friday showed more tumor growth. I know you are feeling sad now and I understand why with the holidays coming up. If you could get around to doing that though, it would be awesome. Here is her website: http://www.caringbridge.org/wv/mckenzie/.

Thanks Mrs Levy. I'll come back around to check on you. I hope you have had a good day.
Bryanne <weaverbj@nsuok.edu>
Tahlequah, OK USA - Sunday, December 7, 2003 1:21 PM CST

---

hi judy
i can feel every bit of pain as you wrote this journal entry. it is a struggle. me myself i dont go shopping or near any malls during this "happy season" because i am miserable. i can avoid this whole happy season where you have to try to put on that happy face for your other kids. and i am proud of you for that. i guess im taking the easy way out by skipping xams this year.i said i was putting up a tree and i did but at mitchell`s grave site not at home.
love abbie
«♥Angel Mitchell♥» <afraser1@tru.eastlink.ca>
tru, ns can - Sunday, December 7, 2003 10:37 AM CST

---

Judy:

Just stopping by to check on you and see how you are doing. I am sure this will be a horrible time for you this year...I hope your other children are able to feel some christmas happiness at least. I completely agree with you about the "reason for everything" comments people make...totally not true...there is no reason whatsoever that our children have to suffer from something so senseless like this brain tumor and the loss of their lives. People just don't know what else to say. I am so sorry that Julia is not here with you this Christmas. Hugs to you.

Susan and Jake
.
- Saturday, December 6, 2003 4:56 PM CST

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Hi Judy,
Just wanted to stop by and remind you how much I think of you and pray for you. I pray for you throughout the day and every night, but now I'm going to start praying every morning, asking God to help you get up and through your day. Good things have to start happening soon.
Love, peace and blessings.
Clare <m60cs@aol.com>
Pittsburgh, PA - Saturday, December 6, 2003 1:04 PM CST

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Hi Guys!!

I can not believe how much snow we have gotten in the past 24 hrs!! I had a bit of a spin out on my way to work (no injuries) and turned around and returned home... it's NOT worth it, so I am going to go and play in the snow with my neice and her friend. I hope you're able to do the same.

Thoughts and prayers, hugs and love as always!


Carla
Butler, Pa - Saturday, December 6, 2003 11:48 AM CST

---

I love you.

HUGS and love,
Samantha <sletoile@msn.com>
Barrie, ON Canada - Saturday, December 6, 2003 8:10 AM CST

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JUDY:
MAY OUR HEAVENLY FATHER EMBRACE YOU TODAY...
MAY YOU FEEL EVEN AN ITSY BITSY BIT OF COMFORT FROM YOUR PAIN!
CONTINUED PRAYERS FOR YOU AND YOUR'S,
KRISTY
HOUSTON, TEXAS
KRISTY MILES <KDMILLIONMILES@AOL.COM>
HOUSTON, TX USA - Friday, December 5, 2003 6:39 PM CST

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Hello Mrs. Levy,
I hope you have had a good day. Just coming by to check on you.
Bryanne Weaver <weaverbj@nsuok.edu>
Tahlequah, OK USA - Friday, December 5, 2003 2:50 PM CST

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Hi Judy - I'm ---very--- blessed to have met you and your family but I know what you mean about the circumstances. I would do anything to have Julia back and to get rid of Celeste's tumor. I would move my family to some desolate end of the earth and have no friends or family if it meant having our children as they should be, healthy! I've even wished that it could be me with the BT but my other little ones need me and that's just one of those crazy thoughts that comes with dealing with this reality. I haven't been able to journal much lately either... don't know what it is... just the holidays perhaps... taking my words away with all the hubub...

hang in there and know that Julia exists, even though life has been cruel enough to take her to heaven before you. She won't wait or have to suffer because time only exists here... for all we know, you are probably already there with her in some form too. Part of you must feel that with the emptiness. I wish that she could be here playing and having fun and that I could have known her before the #$#@ brain tumor!

((((HUGS))))

Tami <blessingsbyceleste@hotmail.com>
- Friday, December 5, 2003 11:52 AM CST

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To the Levy Family-
I am terribly sorry for your loss. Julia was a beautiful child. There is nothing I could say that would bring you comfort - I know this. We are all "out here" for you. You all will get through the loss - but never over it. I hate to see your pain and I will pray to the higher powers that be that it can be eased. Much love to you and and your beautiful family
Elizabeth <e_spehr_99@yahoo.com>
Washington , DC USA - Friday, December 5, 2003 8:02 AM CST

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Judy,
Just letting you know we are all thinking about you every day. We are here for you.

Julia,
Hello sweetie, please visit your mommy and keep a good eye on her. We miss you too.
Much Love, hugs, and prayers.
D & D & Z
Amy Drahusz
- Friday, December 5, 2003 7:48 AM CST

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Judy,
I love you and I cherish our friendship, but I DEFINITLEY would have given it up in a second to change things for Julia. As Shellie said, Thank you for letting me help you try to get through this, and try to help you feel even a little bit better. You are such a great Mom to all of your children. They are so lucky to have you.
Love, Mary <zackysmom@city-net.com>
Pittsburgh, - Thursday, December 4, 2003 8:49 PM CST

---

Hi Judy,

Was listening to the radio on my way to work this morning and heard the Beatles song "Julia"...brought out another flood of tears and memories...

Julia (Lennon/McCartney)

Half of what I say is meaningless
But I say it just to reach you, Julia

Julia, Julia, oceanchild, calls me
So I sing a song of love, Julia
Julia, seashell eyes, windy smile, calls me
So I sing a song of love, Julia

Her hair of floating sky is shimmering, glimmering,
In the sun

Julia, Julia, morning moon, touch me
So I sing a song of love, Julia

When I cannot sing my heart
I can only speak my mind, Julia

Julia, sleeping sand, silent cloud, touch me
So I sing a song of love, Julia
Hum hum hum hum...calls me
So I sing a song of love for Julia, Julia, Julia


Hang in there cuz...

Jeff <Phishplugger@comcast.net>
Freedom, PA - Thursday, December 4, 2003 1:42 PM CST

---

Dear Judy, I came across Julia's website competely by accident. I am so very sorry for your loss. I know there is nothing to say to comfort you,because I have been where you are today. My son would have been turning 9 soon. We lost him before he even had a chance to take a single breath. He would have been our first child and grandchild in our family. I guess what I really want to say is-it will get better. Life still has much joy and happiness to give you.I know it is hard to see it right now but it will be there when you are ready. And you will be ready in your own time. Be kind to yourself and don't feel like you need to feel any different. Just as we love in our own special way,we must grieve also.
I absolutely dreaded that first holiday season. Then an idea came into my head. I tried to think of a way to honor his life and memory. We decided to help another child celebrate the holiday season by donating toys to a local toy drive. There are so many children that have so little. For our family, knowing we helped bring another child some joy was great for us. It helped us to have some smiles through the many tears that day. We have continued to do this each year to celebrate his life. It has become something we look forward to each year. As time goes by your family will find there own special way to honor sweet little Julia. For us, turning the negative energy into something positive was a huge help. This year was very special because we included our oldest daughter,and it was great to explain her brother to her.
You are a great mom and your children are very lucky to have you. When I found your site, I had to send you some hope for the future. It brought back so many feelings and I had to let you know that you can get through this! It seems an impossible task (like a huge mountain that you just don't have the energy to climb), but your children need you so very much and you are doing the very best by them.
I hope this helps in some way to let you know there are still happy times after darkness like this. Life is still very very precious and offers much beauty. In time you will see it again, I promise!

Best to all of you!!


Cheryl
Albany, NY - Thursday, December 4, 2003 9:57 AM CST

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Hi Judy,

I know that we have never met face to face but I defineltly feel a heart to heart connection with you. I will not pretend to know how you feel because I do not. I can only imagine and I can honestly say that I do believe that I would feel very similar. When I read your entries, I always cry because I can actually feel your pain. You are such an incredible person and I must say that your honest journal entries (not sugar coated, and appreciated) adds to your greatness. I know that your holiday season will not be enjoyable but I also know through what you have written over that past couple of months, that you will make it good for your children. Just know that even in your darkest hours that there are people around the world who are thinking and praying for you. We care so much about you and your family. I am rambling, sorry.

God Bless you
Much love and hugs to help and comfort are being sent to you,

Terri <tlc2866@sbcglobal.net>
Manchester, Ct - Thursday, December 4, 2003 9:22 AM CST

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Judy...Once again, I feel your pain and can associate with so much of what you say. Though I feel blessed to have met so many wonderful, caring people through my grandson, I just can't get a grasp on his being gone. Even after 6 months, I still have so much anger. I know that one day we'll all understand these things, but for now, I don't and all I know is this horrible, empty feeling and horrendous pain that I'm left with. Please know that my heart goes out to you and that you and your family are in my continued thoughts and prayers.

Much love...
(Forever missing our precious angels)
Terry Snyder (Angel Jalen's "Am-Maw") http://www.caringbridge.org/fl/jalen <vix207@aol.com>
Royal Palm Beach, FL - Thursday, December 4, 2003 8:12 AM CST

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Judy,

No its not fair. Nope it sure doesn't feel good - and it won't for who knows how long. The past couple of days I have been overwhelmed with my giref of losing Rob, Vicki and Wesleys dad - 9 years ago! Yes he died 9 years ago and I was hit with the grief just like it happened yesterday. The pain never really goes away - EVER - but we somehow manage to live through it and even smile. But its never far away and I find myself wishing to have him back to see how wonderful his children are and see what great kids they have turned out to be. I wish to know his touch again and have him hold me. I want to hear his voice because I cry that I can't remember what it sounds like. I still get angry and I have had 9 years to 'get over it'.

It's not easy Judy...and it's always there - the loss you feel, the hole, the big stone in the pit of your stomach that just weighs you down with anger and sadness.

Feel it and do what is right for you my friend.

Julia - keep your eyes on mom ok. She sure needs some peace soon, whisper in her ear that you are ok. Let her know you are never far from her.

HUGS and love,
Samantha <sletoile@msn.com>
Barrie, ON Canada - Thursday, December 4, 2003 7:58 AM CST

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Hi Judy,
I understand how hard it is right now. It's hard to write, and it's hard to focus and it's even hard to really FEEL because of all the pain. I don't have anything to add that hasn't already been said, but I just wanted to touch base and let you know my prayers and thoughts are with you continuously.
Lorraine <loralof@yahoo.com>
- Thursday, December 4, 2003 0:45 AM CST

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Hello Mrs. Levy,

Just coming by to check on you. I hope you had a good day. I know this really sucks right now. I commend you for holding it together for Jordan, Justine and Jacob, and your husband too. They are lucky to have you in their family. I wish I could have met Julia in person, I think it would have been like meeting an angel. To say "Have a good day" seems kinda dogmatic and pointless, but I really hope tomorrow goes well for you and everyone else in your family.

PS. Thanks for that math email you sent me. It was fun!
Bryanne Jolene Weaver <weaverbj@nsuok.edu >
Tahlequah, Oklahoma USA - Wednesday, December 3, 2003 11:20 PM CST

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(((((((JUDY))))))))
I know I truly can't know what you are going through. I do know that you are survivng because you have to , and I am thinking about you and your family (including your beautiful angel) this holiday season and I wish I could reach through this computer and give you a big hug! Thank you for your updates even though they are hard. I check everyday to see how you are!
Many hugs and prayers for you and your family
Carine Ekberg www.caringbridge.org/il/lindsay <bnc94@msn.com>
McHenry, IL - Wednesday, December 3, 2003 11:06 PM CST

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Judy dear, your journal today just made me ache for you! I understand the Anger towards God its part of the greiving process. I hope in Time you can see God as A source of comfort to you. I heard something that made sence to me on a Christian channel and they were talking about Greif. THey said you can make yourself just physically and emotionally a wreck trying to understand why?? When sometimes there isnt An answer to be found . sometimes bad things just happen to good people. And God will carry you through w/o God you would probably still be under the covers. I think your greiving exactly how you should be and are doing it with grace and class! Your an inspiration to many many people. I mean we check in on you and see the good the bad the whole Judy. Your very special to share your life and jules life with us. I dont know why Julia had to leave you. I do know she is not suffering and She is alive and very well in heaven She is not gone forever and you will hold her again in heaven Its one of Gods great promises. Try to find peace in the fact that you will hold your baby again, and she will be so thrilled to hug mommy and daddy again. God is just taking care of her till you are called home. It all still sucks. But if i thought i would never see my child again i would not be worth anything to anyone. But knowing that I would be with them again would make me dream of that day. ANd knowing life can be so short you dont want to waste a moment with the other kids. So lean on your new friends to help you keep going on. we all care deeply!
Kim <dakk2222@netnitco.net>
Hebron, IN - Wednesday, December 3, 2003 10:25 PM CST

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Judy,
I'm not going to start off with the whole "Hidden Blessing" thing, because i think it's a load of crap.
But i do think that if you really don't want to do the journals, if it's getting that hard, let Jordan continue it. He needs the release, and i think it'd be better for him.
Anna <Aangl96@aol.com>
- Wednesday, December 3, 2003 10:12 PM CST

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Dear Judy,
The thought of my child going before me puts such a horrendous fear in me that I have to think of something else. You are so right no one should bury a child first. I can only imagine the days being so horrible trying to get through them but now the holidays!!?!!! The only thing I can say is we are here for whatever we can do for you all. Always in our thoughts and prayers, your entire family is also.
Much love, hugs and prayers.
A & D & Z
Amy Drahusz
- Wednesday, December 3, 2003 7:03 PM CST

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Hi Judy, It's coming up on 1 year since my mom died, I can't believe it. My heart feels happiness for her because I know that she lived life the way that she wanted to. She was a good person, and I know that she is watching over me in heaven.. Then I think about Jules... she didn't get much of a chance to live her life fully..the anguish that you feel is hard to take, I read about it and wonder how you do it. I fully understand how tough it must be to want to hold her in your arms and hear that tremendous giggle that she was famous for. What a wonderful mom you were to her, you know moms do everything possible for their kids, and by golly, you certainly did ( and do for the other 3 angels you have!) We as your friends (and most of us are also moms) are trying in so many ways to take your anguish away, but we know we can't. Thanks for letting us to continue to try. Our hugs and prayers are with you daily! We'll never match the snuggliness of Julia, but we love you dearly. Your other 3 angels are lucky to have a mom that shows love in her time of anguish.
Shellie <khen608178@aol.com>
Pgh, PA - Wednesday, December 3, 2003 6:05 PM CST

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just stopping in (even though i do check everyday but rarely leave a message) to let you know that Julia visited us today... the days are still warm here and she seemed to enjoy the hibiscus blooms. i tried to get her to stick around until i could get my camera but she was off and away before i could return. i knew it was her because she landed on her rock and warmed her wings for a few minutes.
please know that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers daily and i do hope that this holiday season will bring you much peace and joy.
always your friend - even if only connected through the net.
erika collier <erika_collier@hotmail.com>
tampa, fl - Wednesday, December 3, 2003 4:37 PM CST

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Judy,
I cant pretend I know how much pain you are in.But I pray it will lessen as time goes on.
I have a litle girl & boy.My daughter was so close to Julia's age.they could have played together.My skyelar's birthday is feb 25,1998.Ian is only 2 but I know how much pain it would be for him to lose his sister.It must be so hard for your babies.
I wish I could have known her other than from this site.SHe sounds like such a wonderful child,i dont even know her and I miss her.
Wish I could give you a bug hug!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm sending a big hug with mary next time she see's you!!
Evette (Mary's friend at HH) <skyian@comcast.net>
westland, MI USA - Wednesday, December 3, 2003 4:01 PM CST

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Hey Levy's....
There is not a word for me to say other than I'm still checking in on you and you're in my thoughts and prayers...

With Much love,
Carla
Butler, Pa 16001 - Wednesday, December 3, 2003 3:42 PM CST

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Judy,Jarod,Jordan,Justine,Julia&Jacob,
Wow,I can't believe I got the courage to write a entry. I am so sorry, I am just very bad with words when it comes to something terrible happening. I have followed this website since there was about 8,000 viewers. This last entry Judy really gave me tears(really they all have). You are such a amazing mother of 4. I really agree with you about the phrase "everything happens for a reason" because this is something that should have never happened to Julia. You have every right to blame g-d, why would he take her from her family? I just don't understand! It must be so tough right now with the holidays. Please stay strong and take care, you have wonderful family and friends to help you through it.
Deanna <mdsauger@wideopenwest.com>
Mi - Wednesday, December 3, 2003 1:31 PM CST

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I continue to check on you daily. I am so sorry for all the terrible pain you are feeling. Know that we are all out here for you. Julia, watch over your dear mommy and daddy.
Michele <mash128@hotmail.com>
Winona, MN - Wednesday, December 3, 2003 12:17 AM CST

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Hey there my little Peanuthead,

Do me a favor and spread your wings out just as far as they can go and hover around Mommy, Daddy, Jordan, Justine and Jacob this holiday season. Better have a few boxes of kleenex with you cause I know this isn't going to be easy. Spread your wings and keep them all held so very tightly to you to help ease the holidays without you darlin'.

Kyra, Cullen and I miss you so very much. You are talked about ALWAYS!!! We love you!!!
Aunt Cashew <sckycujo@verizon.net>
- Tuesday, December 2, 2003 8:04 PM CST

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Dearest Judy,
We are so sorry that these holidays are so ruff on you all. I wish there was something I could do or say. Just know that we are all thinking of you.
Much Love,Hugs, and Prayers
A & D & Z
Amy Drahusz
- Tuesday, December 2, 2003 6:50 PM CST

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Judy,
I was just checking on you, and I want you to know that I think about you and your angel all the time, and I'm praying you find the strength to get through this season. Many hugs coming your way
Carine Ekberg www.caringbridge.org/il/lindsay <bnc94@msn.com>
McHenry, IL - Tuesday, December 2, 2003 2:12 PM CST

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Jude,

I know I said this to you the other night, but it needs to be said again:

I know I cannot miss her anywhere near as much as you, but I miss her a TON!!!! And YOU ARE RIGHT - IT SUCKS - IT IS NOT FAIR - I HATE IT - I WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND ANY OF THIS!

I have no other words, except to say I wish there was SOMETHING I could do to help. We all can do so much to keep the memories alive, but it cannot hold a candle to your beautiful girl being here.

I know the pain is impossible to deal with - and as usual - you are accomplishing the impossible. You are such an awesome Mom, and such an Awesome person. Hannah really tries to help, by giving you hugs, and little presents. She talks about you ALMOST as much as she talks about Julia. Hope you liked what she picked out for you. She picked it all on her own.

Julia - you are always at the front of our thoughts and in our hearts. We think about you and talk of you and to you) all of the time. We miss you, and love you forever.

Love, Mary, & Hannah <zackysmom@city-net.com>
- Tuesday, December 2, 2003 2:35 AM CST

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Judes, Wishing you a good day, your in my thoughts and prayers.
Jeff <Phishplugger@comcast.net>
Freedom, PA USA - Monday, December 1, 2003 10:39 AM CST

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Judy, Just a quick note to tell you your in my thoughts and prayers. (((hugs)))
http://lightingchildrenslives.org


Melanie Davila- Lighting Children's Lives <positivestories@aol.com>
- Sunday, November 30, 2003 6:29 PM CST

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Judy,
It's hard to be thankful and grateful when you heart is open and exposed to the world. DON'T be thankful then, because you need to feel what you are feeling!!

I am thankful for getting the chance to know you and your family. For meeting you and being able to hug you. For meeting your sister and for getting a chance to meet Mary. I am thankful for how you have touched my life and for knowing Julia. I am thankful for your tears of sorrow for they give you some release for your pain.

Know that you continue to be in my thoughts.

HUGS and love,
Samantha <sletoile@msn.com>
Barrie, ON Canada - Sunday, November 30, 2003 3:07 PM CST

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Hi Judy and family,
I haven't written in awhile but check on you everyday. I must say that I was hoping the reason you hadn't updated for a bit was because you were caught up in life but deep down I knew that was wishful thinking. I can tell how much your children mean to you and knew that anticipating the upcoming holidays was probably taking its toll on you. I wish and pray that I could help you somehow but I know that only Julia can do that. You are such a great person and no matter what I type, you will only go through the motions during this holday season. Just know that I am thinking of you and praying for you and wishing you a bearable holiday. Much love and sending you hugs,

Terri <tlc2866@sbcglobal.net>
Manchester, Ct - Sunday, November 30, 2003 2:35 PM CST

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Dear Judy,

It has been awhile since I've visited your site..Sometimes life gets in the way, and you find the days flying by. You and your family has not been far from my thoughts and prayers.

I went back and read your entries since my last visit. Judy, you are doing right by your kids. They are so incredibly lucky to have you. You may not feel you "know what the hell you're doing", but believe me...you being there for them and loving them is what they need...and you are doing that with your whole heart. You are such an awesome person!!!

I pray for a calmness to come over you, especially during this holiday season. This Thanksgiving didn't especially make you feel thankful..but, I'm thankful for you, the way you express yourself, your husband and your children for guidance, support and most of all love...God Bless..


Love,
Carol
Carol A. Finley <cafin@msn.com>
Pittsburgh, PA USA - Sunday, November 30, 2003 8:43 AM CST

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Hi Judy - holidays are a bit much, aren't they? Good thing is that you're keeping busy with things but those empty spaces are never going to get smaller. Your children are beautiful (!!!!!) and Julia will always be here in my heart, for the rest of my life. Jordan, Justine and Jacob are so, so, so beautiful too. They know and will always know that you do it all for them, on the good days and the bad ones. They know and will always know, somehow. Julia is always with each and every one of you guys. You will always have your four blessings. No one, not even cancer - can take that away. I wish that I could take all of this away but lets try to do what we can to take each and every moment for all that it is worth, knowing that we are blessed enough to know love. You will always have four children, even if one of them was set free from this crazy world. She was capable of so very much here, but for whatever reason got this tumor and with all of that heavenly energy, must be up to so much goodness. Nothing will ever fall into place to be absolutely as it should knowing that she is missing from you but the blessings are still there and we just have to keep on facing each and every challenge. We are some busy mommas! Hang in there. Know that you're in my thoughts... all day long each and every day... and I'm praying and hoping and sending lots and lots and lots of positive thoughts your way. ((((HUGS))))
Tami <blessingsbyceleste@hotmail.com>
pgh, pa - Sunday, November 30, 2003 1:05 AM CST

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Judy, Youve been onmy mind all day today! just wanted to say Hi and Try to get some rest! Saying special prayers for you!
Kim <dakk2222@netnitco.net>
IN - Saturday, November 29, 2003 10:11 PM CST

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Hi Judy-
I got your link from Cheyenne's page. I just wanted to visit and send you and your family prayers. My son was dx with Glioblastoma StageIV brain cancer- I can't imagine what you are going through. Julia is beautiful. She's with you all. I know you will see her again, the holidays are so hard. Know that you are being thought of and society can't write the rules, only when you've been through something as devastating as losing a child can anyone understand what it is you are going through. I pray for peace for you and your family.
Sincerely,
Kathy
www.caringbridge.org/fl/david
Kathy <Joy2Jak@cs.com>
Boynton Beach, FL USA - Saturday, November 29, 2003 5:25 PM CST

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Hi Judy!

Just dropping by to say Hello! I'm still thinking and praying for you and the family..... I so wish I could bring Julia back for you!! I guess I should say that I could physically be back with you b/c we all know she's with you in spirit
Carla <carlaj@zoominternet.net>
Butler, PA - Saturday, November 29, 2003 6:28 AM CST

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Judy, Jarrod ,Jacob, justine, Jordan. My heart absolutey breaks for you all. I couldnt enjoy the Day either knowing you were so miserable. I was cutting my little guys food up and thought what If I had 1 less plate to prepare, 1 empty seat. He was having minor surgery today ( turned out good) But I kept thinking what If he doesnt wake up? And How Do you get up each day. Im at a loss at how to make you feel any better. I mean what could possibly make it better ?? I know your Angry With God But he is the only one who can carry you through. And I think The anger is totally Part of greiving I would be so damn angry myself. Judy Try to focus on the other kids and try to focus on Spending eternity in heaven with julia when your reunited someday. Until that someday ,Know that Your suffering not julia she is radiantly happy and free from pain. And I hope that can help you go on each day with out her physically there. She is so much a part of you Its like The world is asking you to go on without your limbs. I Think your so brave and strong and the best mommy. And I so wish I could give you julia back. You are loved by so many!!! How is jarrod and the kids today??
Kim <dakk2222@netnitco.net>
IN - Friday, November 28, 2003 7:28 PM CST

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Judy,
Just dropping by to say Hi & let you know that I am thinking of you.
Much love & prayers
Betsy
Betsy Kuczynski <betsyalex@mail.com>
PGH, PA - Friday, November 28, 2003 1:36 PM CST

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You don't know me I got your link from Cheyenne's page, and I couldn't help but sign the book. I know it is ironic to say happy thanksgiving, but I pray that you find much happiness. Not just for you but for your family as well. My nephew was diagnosed last August with gioblastoma and the prognosis has been unspeakable. The support we have recieved from family, friends and strangers has been a great comfort. I only hope that this greeting helps comfort you. Your angel is BEAUTIFUL!!


www.caringbridge.org/nc/nicholascastillo
Heather <sienna058@aol.com >
Central Islip, NY - Thursday, November 27, 2003 9:58 PM CST

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I hope everyone out there had a Happy Thanksgiving. Thanks to all who add me and my family in your prayers as well. There were some very trying times today, but all survived. Some better than others, but most importantly, we did it all together. The meal wasn't half bad either, so that helped. :) Judy, I wish I could make your heart ache less, as we all do. I sit here now with the tears streaming down my cheeks missing Jules and being so angry and sorry that I can't make things easier for you. I know being here has helped, but to me that's not enough!! I won't ever give up trying to take some of the pain away. You know if I could take it all I would and more importantly if I could bring your baby back, I would!!

I love you! I love you Julia!
Jodi <sckycujo@verizon.net>
- Thursday, November 27, 2003 8:18 PM CST

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Hello Mrs. Levy and family,

I have been thinking of you this day. I am sorry it's hard for you. I hope you guys have a great week. Know that one more person out here cares about you (I guess that makes it 50,001 plus?).

In His Love,
Bryanne Jolene Weaver <weaverbj@nsuok.edu>
Tahlequah, OK USA - Thursday, November 27, 2003 7:09 PM CST

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HAPPY THANKSGIVING - with love from above - ANGEL COLBY JAMES COLE AND CREW. (forever missing our precious angels)
jack - colby's daddy forever and ever
www.caringbridge.org/pa/colby, UNIONTOWN PA - Thursday, November 27, 2003 6:24 PM CST

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Happy Thanksgiving
I realize things are a bit difficult right now. But I just wanted you to know that you and your family are in my thoughts. I also admire your courage... your courage to cry, laugh, or just be. May you be showered with Unconditional Love and Prayers.
G-D BLESS
Paloma
ny - Thursday, November 27, 2003 2:09 PM CST

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Thinking of your family today and always.

Hugs,

Suz King
Susan King <suznk_01@yahoo.com>
Phoenix, AZ United States - Thursday, November 27, 2003 10:37 AM CST

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Wishing you good blessings on Thanksgiving.
Maybe creating new family traditions for the holidays will make them easier on you.
Hugs and Hope, Love and Prayers to you from us.
Cheryl <carpathienblue@yahoo.com>
- Thursday, November 27, 2003 10:05 AM CST

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Wishing you a blessed Thanksgiving.

Warm thoughts of you and Angel Julia...

(((hugs)))

http://lightingchildrenslives.org
Melanie Davila- Lighting Children's LIves <positivestories@aol.com>
- Thursday, November 27, 2003 9:17 AM CST

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I am thankful for how you have touched my life Julia. I am thankful for having met your mom and being able to give her a real hug. Julia sweetie - send those angel hugs and kisses to your family so they know you are still there - as always!

HUGS and love,
Samantha <sletoile@msn.com>
Barrie, ON Canada - Thursday, November 27, 2003 8:36 AM CST

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Dear Judy and Family,

I wish you all the best Thanksgiving that you could possibly have!!!

Cindy Schiefer <cschiefer@earthlink.net>
Port St. Lucie, FL USA - Thursday, November 27, 2003 6:07 AM CST

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Julia, Judy, Jarrod, Jordan, Justine, and Jacob, AND Jodi, Kyra, and Cullen, Marlene, Herm, Ruth, Sheldon, I am keeping you all in my thoughts and in my heart tomorrow. I am so thankful for becoming friends and getting to know all of you. I hope God will help you get through the day. And hope the cooking goes well !
Love, Mary <zackysmom@city-net.com>
- Thursday, November 27, 2003 0:09 AM CST

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Wishing you a blessed Thanksgiving from the entire Fiveash family.

God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad
www.caringbridge.org/tx/cheyenne5

Roy Fiveash <rfiveash@wcc.net>
San Angelo, tx - Wednesday, November 26, 2003 11:41 PM CST

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Judy and family,
I have been thinking of you...I wanted to stop by and wish you a Happy Thanksgiving. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Desiree Deasy
Des Deasy <deasyfam4@aol.com>
Pgh, Pa USA - Wednesday, November 26, 2003 10:17 PM CST

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Hey little peanuthead...Flutter on by and send us some sweet messages tomorrow on Thanksgiving so we can all feel you there with us!! Don't laugh too hard on how the meal turns out since mom and I are cooking. :) I love you darlin'. Kyra and Cullen miss you tremendously!!

Judy.....I'll be there to help you/us/everyone thru the day, second by second!

I love you,

Jodi <sckycujo@verizon.net>
- Wednesday, November 26, 2003 9:43 PM CST

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Little angel Girl Julia Happy Thanksgiving On your First One on Heaven. Let mommy and everyone know your still with them, They are so incomplete without you. I am thankful your sweet little spirit blessed my life even if for a short time on earth you will continue to bless me forever just knowing Of you . You are the most precious thing.


Judy, You must not feel like journaling lately. Totally understandable. I just hope you find the strength to get through the holidays.And that You feel little julia close to your heart and feel her heavenly hugs! Love,
Kim <dakk2222@netnitco.net>
IN - Wednesday, November 26, 2003 8:22 PM CST

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Happy First Thanksgiving in Heaven Angel Julia...
The picture of you and Mommy is so precious....we miss you so much.
Love..your Florida friends..
Kim and Kody
~KODYS STORY~ <kim_kruppenbacher@yahoo.com>
- Wednesday, November 26, 2003 7:58 PM CST

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Hi Judy,

I just wanted to let you know I stopped by, I know you are going to have a very hard day tomorrow, and I wanted to send you some long distance support,,as tough as it will be, I do wish your family a peaceful ThanksGiving and even though Julia won't be with you in body she will be in spirit.
With Love from the Schmartz Family
Linda, John, Austyn and Rachel

Linda Schmartz <Katausrac3@aol.com>
So Glastonbury, CT - Wednesday, November 26, 2003 6:20 PM CST

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Thinking of you this Thanksgiving.
Michele <mash128@hotmail.com>
Winona, MN - Wednesday, November 26, 2003 12:42 AM CST

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I wanted to stop by and wish you a good Thanksgiving, and let you know I will keep praying for you guys.

Beautiful Julia watch over your family especially tomorrow on Thanksgiving they miss you very much.
sally <sally_torres@lusknet.com>
- Wednesday, November 26, 2003 11:41 AM CST

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Judy,
Your life and your beautiful daughter's life has truly touched mine. God Bless you always!
Rebecca <airforcewife0614@mchsi.com>
Tyndall AFB, FL - Wednesday, November 26, 2003 10:11 AM CST

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Judy and family,
Just wanted to check in on you. Hope you are finding some peace and happiness in each day. I wanted to tell you, I sell real estate and was walking around a property this week when I looked down and saw a really pretty yellow butterfly. I immediately thought of Julia and a big smile came across my face. She is just making her presence known all over the world! :)
Hugs and Prayers,
Trish <trishrbarnett@aol.com>
Florence, AL USA - Tuesday, November 25, 2003 9:35 PM CST

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Dear Judy,
May your G-d hold you by the hand and help you thru the first holiday without your beautiful angel. My heart aches so much for you at this time and always. I know it may not be much but just know that I am here for you and will continue to pray for you. You are a totally awesome woman for holding your family together thru the worst that could ever happen to a family. I am proud to call you friend.
Much love, & many prayers
Betsy
Betsy Kuczynski <Betsyalex@mail.com>
PGH, PA - Tuesday, November 25, 2003 8:08 PM CST

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Sorry you've had so much extra sh_t to deal with. I haven't been here in awhile; been dealing with some depression. Glad to know that you are wanting to help others deal with their losses, I think it will help you, too.
Hugs,
trace <smikeandsmike@sympatico.ca>
- Tuesday, November 25, 2003 11:03 AM CST

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I love you sista!!
Jodi <sckycujo@verizon.net>
- Monday, November 24, 2003 8:37 PM CST

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Hey!! Just wanted to see how you all were doing. I'm sorry that you have anger with God. I don't know what you are going through, but I promise that I will pray for you always. I wish too that we got to know answers like why things happened the way they did. But I guess that we just have to pray that we can have strength. I also hope that Jordan's infection is all better! Take Care and God Bless!
Love,
Courtie http://www.caringbridge.com/md/courtie <cuteori@aol.com>
Joppa, MD US of A - Monday, November 24, 2003 2:58 PM CST

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Judy, I have been having trouble getting your guest book to load for me for a few days. But I can get on other guest books really fast . Oh well I hope it resolves itself onmy end soon. Your journal made me so sad! i understand the anger with God And God can handle your anger. I know he wants to help you through this. I also understand the confusion and questions Like why julia? ANd the fact your being strong for everyone but who do you have?? well you have 50,000 people who are here for you! How many people can say that? IT is only because you and julia have touched so many that they want to touch you back! Your a wonderful mom. Im praying for you daily my friend!
Kim Dale Kyle Andrew Ryan <dakk2222@netnitco.net>
IN - Sunday, November 23, 2003 10:33 PM CST

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Wow! 50,000+ visits! You and Julia have touched sooooo many lives. You are wonderful Mom, and a very special friend.
Love Mary <zackysmom@city-net.com>
- Sunday, November 23, 2003 7:51 AM CST

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Judy ,
Just checking in to say HI. Glad to hear that Ruth is doing well. As far as Jordon not being able to "let it out" after my brother Jack died my other brother Ed did not grieve for over a year, than one day he just let it all out. I'm sure you've heard a zillion times everyone grieves differently, Jordon will cry when he is ready. I think maybe he does not want to cry to show you he is strong (he gets his courage from you). Well, I just want you to know that we are always thinking of you. You & yours are ALWAYS in our thoughts and prayers.
Love,
Daryl, Betsy & Alex
Betsy Kuczynski <Betsyalex@mail.com>
PGH, PA - Saturday, November 22, 2003 4:18 PM CST

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I DEH HERE OOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOO
MUMU MUGU EZE <MUGU@MUGU.COM OR MGBABA@ABA.COM>
INDIA - Saturday, November 22, 2003 3:47 AM CST

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I DEH HERE OOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOO
MUMU MUGU EZE <MUGU@MUGU.COM OR MGBABA@ABA.COM>
INDIA - Saturday, November 22, 2003 3:39 AM CST

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Judy,
Checking in to let you know I think of you often.
Your entire family remains in our prayers.
Thank you for continuing to share your story with us. Your honesty and love is amazing.
Fondly,
Julie-Maddie's mom-www.caringbridge.org/mn/maddie
Julie Dornisch <juliedornisch@yahoo.com>
Mpls., MN - Friday, November 21, 2003 8:13 AM CST

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Just do what you are doing for those kids Judy. Share with them that you don't have all the answers, but you can lean on one another when times are tough and the emotions are so raw.

Your relationship with them will only get stronger. They will have a FULL picture of their mom. They will see how she still hurts, she still loves and will always miss Julia. By your example, they will greive and in their own terms, they will be able to continue living knowing that their sister is always watching over them.

HUGS and love,
Samantha <sletoile@msn.com>
Barrie, ON Canada - Thursday, November 20, 2003 9:09 AM CST

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Hi Judy,

I was just checking on you and your family,, I just don't know what to say to you, if I had a magic word to take the pain away I would have said already. I just wanted you to know I'm thinking about you and your family, and I stopped by to say hi.
With Love from the Schmartz Family
Linda, John, Austyn and Rachel
Linda Schmartz <Katausrac3@aol.com>
So Glastonbury, CT - Thursday, November 20, 2003 7:41 AM CST

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Ivy Ervin, whose little boy Luke lost his battle with a braintumor last July, put it like this:
"Grief is the oddest emotion I have ever felt. Love by far is the most intense but grief is like an invisible wall that keeps changing location. You never know when you are going to walk into it, run into it, back into it, etc..."
(www.caringbridge.org/oh/lukeervin)
I could totally relate.

Lorraine <loralof@yahoo.com>
- Thursday, November 20, 2003 1:28 AM CST

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Oh Mrs Levy,
This entry breaks my heart and brings tears to my eyes.
I wish Julia didn't have to die too. I know it's a tough time for you, because you have to help your other children deal with Julia's passing when you aren't sure yourself. It seems that there is so much parenting information available on every topic, yet, nothing can prepare a parent for when a child passes before them.

I truly believe God didn't want Julia to spend one more moment in this world. This world has a lot of heartbreak and bad stuff, and I think God just wanted Julia to sit in his arms and watch over you guys. But,I wish God would've taken Julia like he did Enosh. In Genesis (one of the first few chapters) it's talking about the line extending from Adam and it comes to Enosh. It says that Enosh did not die, that he was here one minute and with Him the next. But, we don't know his ways.

I know nothing I say can relieve your pain or the pain of your family. But know that I care and that I'm here, thinking and praying for you guys. Also know that God is with you. Though it seems quite the opposite, he is there, watching over your family.

I am glad you got to go be with Celeste and her family. How's she doing? Does she look ok? I know the decadron kinda messed her up there for awhile, but from what I have been reading in her journal she seems to be doing better. The next time you see them, tell them Bryanne from Quilts of Love says hi. Thanks for that email you sent me; I'll send it to my friends here at school.

Right now we are getting ready to surprise one of our friends with a party here in the Chatterbox (our collegiate hang out place located in loeser center), so I must close for now. Give Jordan, Justine and Jacob hugs for me. I'll be back later to check on you.
Bryanne Weaver <weaverbj@nsuok.edu>
Tahlequah, OK USA - Thursday, November 20, 2003 0:08 AM CST

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Wow Judy
You always amaze me. I'm so glad hung tuff and rode the waves of recent events. I'm also really glad to hear about Nan. I guess the mild heart attack was a blessing in disguise. I'll be praying for her too
GOD BLESS YOU NOW AND ALWAYS
Paloma
ny - Wednesday, November 19, 2003 11:43 AM CST

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It was great seeing you and the kids even if it was for a short period of time. Please don't feel like you were imposing...it was my pleasure to help you. Take care and talk to you soon.

Love ya,
Judy
Judy Rogalsky <jrogalsky1@pghboe.net>
Pgh, PA USA - Wednesday, November 19, 2003 7:52 AM CST

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Judy-
I am only the Aunt of a child with a dpg, and I feel the need to talk...I can't even begin to imagine what it is like for the parents...I am sure you are never going to be talked out about all that you felt and experienced and the way that it has changed you forever.
I hope that your talk with the oncologist was cathartic and
I am so glad to see your willingness to continue to share with all of us, and with parents to come, who have to walk these lonely steps...I know you would agree...no one should ever have to be alone when facing something so difficult.
You are amazing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
sara <sdornisch@medtox.com>
mpls, mn - Wednesday, November 19, 2003 7:21 AM CST

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Hey Mrs Levy,

I am sorry about the blockage; 99% is huge!!! wow!
I am glad she is doing better now. I hope you are doing ok!
Some of my friends had a birthday party for me on Saturday night; it was cool. We played lots of games and it was fun.
I have been thinking of you. I hope you have a good week.

Bryanne Jolene Weaver <weaverbj@nsuok.edu>
Bristow, Oklahoma USA - Tuesday, November 18, 2003 9:59 PM CST

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Judy, Im so glad Nan is doing o.k Thank goodness it was only a mild heart attack with that kind of blockage. Im glad jacobs eye is getting better and you were able to get some closure talking to the oncologist! Closure is a necessity for healing. You still continue to amaze me . how you go about your daily things and make scrap books and handprints ect. Im so glad your able to move along in the healing process. I think your so strong! And I know somedays you must feel so stuck in the process but your really doing Awesome! We smile with you and cry with you! your very special! hugs!
Kim <dakk2222@netnitco.net>
IN - Tuesday, November 18, 2003 9:01 PM CST

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Judy -
I am really glad that you were able to make it to the fundraiser and have a chat with your oncologist. I hope that was able to help you heal things from THAT part of things. My thoughts and prayers continue to be with you... Heaven knows you need them now! Please send my Love to Nan!! I'm praying for her, too.

Hugs to all,

Carla <carlaj@zoominternet.net>
Butler, Pa - Tuesday, November 18, 2003 7:44 PM CST

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Stopping in to say hi... I haven't written in a while but think about you all and pray for you daily. shellie
shellie <khen608178@aol.com>
Pgh, - Tuesday, November 18, 2003 7:43 PM CST

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Glad you found a release -- its a good thing to talk about your angel, helps to keep her memory alive and share your love with all. Reading that entry I FELT your love and every emotion in between.

I also read Tami's entry at Celeste's site about how you GLOW...I can imagine it. I think it is you finding, slowly, your peace with Julia's loss and knowing that she is always there with you. I was so glad to read about it.

HUGS and love,
Samantha <sletoile@msn.com>
Barrie, ON Canada - Tuesday, November 18, 2003 7:35 PM CST

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My prayers still go out to you and your family. My friend told me about Julia when she was hours away from getting her wings asking me to pray for her. I came to your site and read about her and my heart ached for all of you. I found Katia's site thru yours and continue to check on her as well as many other children and their families. Reading about what you all have gone thru has totally opened my eyes and heart to what my husband went thru 5 yrs ago with his 9 yr old daughter when they found she had (pnet) brain cancer. thank God they were able to treat it and she just celebrated her 3rd yearly physical cancer free!!! If I'd never found Julia's site, read about what all you've gone thru as well as the other children, my understanding of what my poor husband and his daughters went thru all by theirselves never would have happened. It truly has added a whole new dimention to me and I want to thank you for that. I'm so glad you continue to feel Julia's presence and I pray that time will make life easier for you to face. My prayer life has grown so much adding all of these wonderful children to my list and their strength and the thing you all have endured make the problems of my life see so petty. I also have learned so much about what to look for when Cindy gets sick and even though I try to treat her like the other kids, I have now learned that a lil fever can mean huge things to a child who's had cancer. All the chemo and radiation she underwent will probably always give her problems but having her with us makes all those things easier to tolerate. I just want to say hang in there, know that your sweet daughter has touched my life and I will continue to pray for you.
Lori <ljwilbur@comcast.net>
Albany, OR USA - Tuesday, November 18, 2003 1:14 PM CST

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HUGS to all of you!!

Everyone is my thoughts for full recovery from whatever is slowing them up...

Make sure you are getting some sleep and taking care of you...it would be real easy for you to get sick now too!

Love ya Judy!

HUGS and love,
Samantha <sletoile@msn.com>
Barrie, ON Canada - Sunday, November 16, 2003 12:02 AM CST

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Hello Judy,(level 17)
Tell level 15 hey there too. Hope today finds you better than the days before. I hope all is well with Nan too. Just stopping by to let you know we love you all and pray for you all daily. Must get together soon. Miss you this weekend.
Much love, hugs, and prayers.
A & D & Z
Amy Drahusz
- Sunday, November 16, 2003 9:44 AM CST

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Hi Judy,

Sorry to hear about all the problems around home. Hope by the time you read this everyone is doing much better. We were just thinking about you guys and wanted to stop by and say hello.

God Bless you all
Cheyenne's dad
www.caringbridge.org/tx/cheyenne5
Roy Fiveash <rfiveash@wcc.net>
San Angelo, tx - Saturday, November 15, 2003 10:51 PM CST

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Judy,
WOW!!!! I hope Ruth is feeling better! Glad to hear Jordon is doing well. You are as always in our thoughts and prayers.
Love,
Daryl, Betsy & Alex
Betsy Kuczynski <betsyalex@mail.com>
Pittsburgh, PA USA - Saturday, November 15, 2003 9:33 PM CST

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Hi Judy
Please let Ruth know we are thinking of her and praying for a good outcome. Hope Jordan continues to feel better and that no one else gets sick. Wishing you love, peace and an angel's army of help and blessings.
Clare <m60cs@aol.com>
Pittsburgh, PA USA - Saturday, November 15, 2003 10:26 AM CST

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Hi Judy,
I'm glad Jordan's eye is getting better now...hope your weekend is a good one!
love and prayers from
Lorraine <loralof@yahoo.com>
- Saturday, November 15, 2003 3:08 AM CST

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Dear Judy
I'm sorry to hear about the latest news. Its a good thing you caught Jordon's infection early. I can't blame you if you want to walk in a closet and scream for a minute or two....It could be cathartic. I think you've passed the definition of "Supermom" and moved on to "Unbelievable" MOM. I think its time for G-D to send HIS Army Of Angels to straighten things out. I Pray all the support you need appears when you need it.
G-D Be With Now & Always
Paloma
ny - Friday, November 14, 2003 10:09 PM CST

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Gosh Judy, nothing like being kicked when you down!!! Hang in there knowing that you have many friends who are praying for you each and every day!!!
Cindy Schiefer <cschiefer@earthlink.net>
Port St. Lucie, FL 34984 - Friday, November 14, 2003 6:26 PM CST

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Hi Judy,
Just checking in -- been thinking of you and want to remind you we are praying for you and all the families and beautiful children who suffer so. I want so much to take away your pain, but I know I can't. You will have peace in your own way and in your own time.
Love, peace and blessings,
Clare <m60cs@aol.com>
Pittsburgh, PA USA - Thursday, November 13, 2003 7:37 PM CST

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Hi Judy,
Haven't written for a while, but I've been checking in from time to time as well as visiting some of the other sites -- Celeste, Noah and Cheyenne -- to name a few. It's so painful, so sad and so unfair. The poems and songs posted on your site are so beautiful, yet so sad. I want so hard to take away your pain, but I can't find the words. All I can do is continue to pray for you all that someday you will find a measure of peace.
Love, peace and blessings,
Clare <m60cs@aol.com>
Pittsburgh, PA USA - Thursday, November 13, 2003 6:10 PM CST

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Hi Judy - Anytime you're up and not able to sleep, chances are that so am I... and your voice on the phone is enough to just make everything relative again... Don't ever worry about calling too late :) anytime, ever, ever, ever! ((((HUGS))))
Tami <blessingsbyceleste@hotmail.com>
Pgh, Pa - Thursday, November 13, 2003 0:11 AM CST

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Samantha, that is a beautiful song. Brought tears to my eyes.

Hey Sista, I love you bunches!!! Just a little message to let you I am so proud to have you as my sister, esp. my twin. (Even if I am the cuter one)! :) Jud, if there was any way I could take your pain away, I would. I just haven't found that way yet, but will NEVER give up trying.

Julia,

Oh my little Peanuthead...I miss you so much. I hope you are always smiling and will never stop watching over everyone. Send me a sign of some sort so I know you're watching over me too. Tell my daddy I said hi and give him a great big kiss for me!!

All my love...forever....
Jodi <sckycujo@verizon.net>
Pgh, PA - Wednesday, November 12, 2003 4:13 PM CST

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Judy,
I wish I could take all the pain away, and bring back your darling Julia. I am so sorry that you were feeling so bad on monday wish I could have called. I just wanted to let you know we are here and love you. All of you.
Much Love, Hugs, and Prayers.
A& D & Z
Amy Drahusz
- Wednesday, November 12, 2003 3:29 PM CST

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I found the song - it's very touching and makes me cry every time I hear it, but I love to hear it! The artist Sherrie Austin also has a website where others have left their thoughts about this song...oh the injustice of so many child angels!!

www.sherrieaustin.com

Here's the song.

STREETS OF HEAVEN Sherrie Austin

Hello God it's me again two 2 a. m., room three oh four
Visiting hours are over, time for our bedside tug of war
A sleeping child between us may not make it through the night
I'm fightin’ back the tears as she fights for her life

CHORUS:
Well it must be kind of crowded On the streets of heaven
So tell me what do you need her for
Don't you know one day she'll be your little girl for-ever but right now I need her so much more
She's much too young to be on her own
Barely just turned seven
So who will hold her hand when she crosses the streets of Heaven?


Tell me God do you remember the wishes that she made
As she blew out the candles on her last birthday cake
She wants to ride a pony when she's big enough
She wants to marry her daddy when she's all grown up

To chorus

Lord don't you know she's my angel
You've got plenty of your own
And I know you hold a place for her
But she's already got a home
Well I don't know if you're listening
But prayin's all that's left to do
So I ask you Lord have mercy
You lost a son once to

To chorus

Lord I know once you've made up your mind

There's no use in beggin
So if you take her with you today
You make sure she looks both ways

To chorus

Samantha <sletoile@msn.com>
Barrie, ON Canada - Wednesday, November 12, 2003 3:06 PM CST

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Judy,
It's been about a week since I last checked in and just read all of your entries since then. I wish there were words to say to make the pain you are feeling lessen. Just know that there are many people in all different places that are praying for you and your family. I don't have words, I can only imagine the pain you feel. But I have prayers for you always. I wish you peace.
Marissa Barrera <msbarrera@adelphia.net>
Boca Raton, Fl - Wednesday, November 12, 2003 2:01 PM CST

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Judy, I heard a song recently that so made me think of you and all the families that go through this horrible ordeal. Not sure if you are a country fan but it's a country song called "Streets of Heaven" sung by Sherri Austin (I think). It's about a mom losing her daughter and questioning the reasons behind it...very powerful and so poignant. If I find the lyrics somewhere I will post them here...

You are in my thoughts..so did ya like the bracelet?

HUGS and love,
Samantha <sletoile@msn.com>
Barrie, ON Canada - Wednesday, November 12, 2003 9:10 AM CST

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I'm so glad that 2 great supermoms you & Tami found time to get together. Hope you get to do it again soon.
G-D Be With You Now & Always
Paloma
ny - Tuesday, November 11, 2003 11:27 PM CST

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Judy...I hope you're able to get a good night's sleep tonight. Please know that you and your family are in my continued thoughts and prayers.
Terry Snyder (Angel Jalen's "Am-Maw") http://www.caringbridge.org/fl/jalen <vix207@aol.com>
Royal Palm Beach, FL - Tuesday, November 11, 2003 6:41 PM CST

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Every time I come here and see the picture of Julia resting on your shoulder I can't help getting teary eyed, it really makes me so sad that you have to go through this. I can't even begin to imagine your pain, it really makes me appreciate my children more. I hope with time the pain becomes more bearable. I'm, truly sorry and I will keep praying for you guys. Julia truly is beatiful and she looks so peaceful in tweetie nightgown. God bless you always
sally <sally_torres@lusknet.com>
- Tuesday, November 11, 2003 5:25 PM CST

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Judy -
I am in total agreement with the other sentiments being expressed here. It is SOOO not fair... It is SOOO Painful and it is just plain wrong that these sweet, innocent and beautiful kids have to go thru all of this. Not to mention all of their families and friends (and nurses, too for that matter)... I wish that I would have never had to met you under the circumstances that I did... and I wish for nothing more that your beautiful little girl was in your arms and tormenting her brothers and sisters. But none of my wishing will ever take away any of your pain....

My prayers are with all of you! May you continue to take things one hour at a time!

With Love,
Carla <carlaj@zoominternet.net>
Butler, Pa - Tuesday, November 11, 2003 4:40 PM CST

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Judes, in my thoughts and prayers daily.


Anniversary (RP)

What is this land that I have found?
There is silence all around…
it's the anniversary…

Relive the fear, and sad decree,
keeps my fragile heart at peace…
on the anniversary…

Through these dark and lonely streets,
I drag my ragged, heavy feet…
it's the anniversary…

How far is hate, away from this?
Never more to feel your kiss…
on the anniversary, it’s the anniversary…

Jeff <Phishplugger@comcast.net>
Freedom, PA - Tuesday, November 11, 2003 1:06 PM CST

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Judy, I wish I could take all of the pain you and your family is experiencing away. I wish I could bring your beautiful little angel back. I am so sorry for all the pain you are all going through. I want you to know that I check on you all everyday and I'm thinking of you all.
Michele <mash128@hotmail.com>
Winona, MN - Tuesday, November 11, 2003 10:07 AM CST

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Hi Judy,

My heart aches for you ,your pain is sooo deep, it cuts right through your words and jumps off the pages right into me. I totally agree with you, I can't see any good coming from taking a 5 year old when her family needs her and loves her sooooo much,, its not fair, after I read your entry I thought for a few minutes how I would live the rest of my life without one of my children, and I have to tell you, I just don't know how I would deal. I know you have 3 other beautiful children to get up for, but I think it still would be so very hard to function,, I know they say time heals all wounds, and I also know that you don't want to miss a second of your kids lives, but fast forwarding a couple years would be something I would want,, not sure how much that would help, but it would be worth it if we could do it. I wish I could somehow take your pain and anger away, I think about you all the time, sorry for babiling here, I guess I am fishing for the right words to say to you,, so I guess I will end by saying I care about you, and I wish you some peace.
with love from the Schmartz Family
Linda, John, Austyn and Rachel
Linda Schmartz <Katausrac3@aol.com>
So Glastonbury, Ct - Tuesday, November 11, 2003 9:35 AM CST

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Let it out. I want to say I understand but I hope to never understand the depth of your pain and loss. You have every right to be angry, your baby girl should have never had to endure this illness. I am so sorry for your loss...so very sorry.

Much love and hugs,

Terri
Terri Carter <tlc2866@sbcglobal.net>
Manchester, Ct - Tuesday, November 11, 2003 8:46 AM CST

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I can understand why you are angry, and I hope I never have to lose a child to cancer. I personally don't believe God meant for Julia to get sick. I think Julia's story is similar to that of Job, where Satan asked to attack him and God allowed him to in order to show that Job would remain faithful to God. But, I still wonder why God would let Satan attack a five year old. It doesn't make any sense. Then again, a lot of stuff doesn't make sense. I am sorry that today was such a hard day for you. I wish I could be there to give you a hug!
Bryanne Weaver <weaverbj@nsuok.edu>
Tahlequah, OK USA - Tuesday, November 11, 2003 2:41 AM CST

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Judy,
Not that you need me to say this, but your anger is SOOOO justified! You SHOULD have all FOUR of your children here with you. There is no reason, no excuse that can justify this. iT SUCKS (tryin to keep things G-rated) Jordan, Justine, and Jacob deserve their sister. Hannah deserves her friend here with her. God does only take the best - but that does not even BEGIN to make it acceptable.

Your poem is beautiful. I'm glad you weere able to write it, but so sorry you had to write it.

I love you Judy. You are an awesome Mom, and your children - all of them - are blessed to be able to call you Mom. I am blessed, as are all of your friends and members of the U-Suck club, to have you in my life.

Julia,
The pain does not go away. You are missed by SO many people. Hannah still talks to you every day - but you already know that. I am so grateful for the time we all got to spend with you over the last year. You are such a wonderful girl and have touched our hearts over and over. Heaven is so lucky to have you , but we just wish you were here. Keep taking care of your family - they need you so much. You are doing an awesome job!
Love Mary

Love, Mary
- Tuesday, November 11, 2003 0:17 AM CST

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I was so very glad to see you this weekend... Your children are so very beautiful. I could feel the emotional drain coming. It just isn't right here without her. Celeste asked about Julia and I told her about her being in Heaven... she wasn't hearing it! She swears that she is right there with her mommy... and that's it.

((((HUGS))))
Tami <blessingsbyceleste@hotmail.com>
Pittsburgh, PA - Monday, November 10, 2003 11:26 PM CST

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Judy,
I wanted to stop by to see how you are doing today, and I can tell by your post.....Not good! I don;t blame you for wanting all 4 of your children with you, who wouldn't! I am thinking of you and your family and your beautiful angel Julia today and praying that each day just might get a little easier.
Many hugs to you!!
Carine Ekberg www.caringbridge.org/il/lindsay <bnc94@msn.com >
McHenry, IL - Monday, November 10, 2003 10:46 PM CST

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Judy, I found this on another Caringbridge website and thought of Julia.

A Butterfly A man found a cocoon for a butterfly. One day a small opening appeared, he sat and watched the butterfly for several hours as it struggled to force its body through the little hole. Then it seemed to stop making any progress. It appeared as if it had gotten as far as it could and could go no farther. Then the man decided to help the butterfly.

He took a pair of scissors and snipped the remaining bit of the cocoon. The butterfly then emerged easily. Something was strange. The butterfly had a swollen body and shriveled wings. The man continued to watch the butterfly because he expected at any moment, the wings would enlarge and expand to be able to support the body, which would contract in time. Neither happened. In fact, the butterfly spent the rest of its life crawling around with a swollen body and deformed wings. It was never able to fly.

What the man in his kindness and haste did not understand, was that the restricting cocoon and the struggle required for the butterfly to get through the smallopening of the cocoon are God`s way of forcing fluid from the body of the butterfly into its wings so that it would be ready for flight once it achieved its freedom from the cocoon. Sometimes struggles are exactly what we need in our life.

If God allowed us to go throughall our life without any obstacles, that would cripple us. We would not be as strong as what we could have been. Not only that, we could never fly.
Maddie www.caringbridge.org/mn/maddie <madelinepaguyo@yahoo.com>
- Monday, November 10, 2003 7:31 PM CST

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Judy, What a beautiful poem. Your so brave, Strong and I really admire your courage. My eyes just well up with tears when I read how much You miss Rolie polie julia. That is amazing how she let you know she was still with you at the craft show. Just keep your eyes on God so you can see julia. And when you get a moment go get a copy of The purpose Driven Life by rick warren. It is Life changing for anyone, But has some great insights on The Death of a child. It really is a must have book for everyone to read. I hope you read it , I know it will help.
Kim <dakk2222@netnitco.net>
IN - Monday, November 10, 2003 7:03 PM CST

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Hi Levy's!
Happy Monday to you all... Judy you have such a wonderful way of expressing yourself, the poem is awesome!! Isn't amazing that the right words just seem to type themselves into the computer when you are good and ready? I love hearing how Julia is taking her breaks from playing to peak in and let everyone know she's around... even if it is just for a split second before she continues to hide from the clown.... Thinking of you guys as always... prayers continue to be sent your way!!

Much love to you all....

Carla <carlaj@zoominternet.net >
Butler, Pa 16001 - Monday, November 10, 2003 6:53 PM CST

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Judy,
I admire your spirit...you are such a wonderful woman and mother...an inspiration to all of us.
At the end of September I volunteered at the Pittsburgh Zoo...we dug up the grass on both sides of the entrance in preparation for a butterfly garden that will be completed in the spring...as I was working I tearfully thought of Julia...to me this was my tribute to her...I'm sure the finished butterfly garden will be spectacular.
Jan Weis
Bridgeville, PA - Monday, November 10, 2003 12:25 AM CST

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beautiful poem, Judy...I'm so glad you were able to write it!
I thought about you during my 'grieving moms' luncheon, and wished you were there....but I'm really glad your own support group is so strong and helpful to you!
with love from
'angel' Nolan's mom
Lorraine <loralof@yahoo.com>
- Monday, November 10, 2003 12:18 AM CST

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Thinking of you today.
Michele
Winona, MN - Monday, November 10, 2003 12:07 AM CST

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Judy, just wanted to say HI! Miss you all like crazy! Been thinkin abou you alot. Been prayin' alot too. Jules has been here too, hangin around our Hibiscus trees in front! Jace turned 5 yesterday and before bed we all talked about this past year and Julia's name came up. Needless to say, through the tears, we smiled knowing that Julia is OK and that she is loved so much by so many people around the world, and in Heaven.
I am,(we)are always here for you...and if it get's too cold in good 'ol PGH, Texas is still warm! and not just the weather, but with hugs and kisses and love for you all.
Love you
Ami <ami@rr.houston.com>
SugarLand, Texas - Monday, November 10, 2003 11:46 AM CST

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I love the poem Mrs. Levy, I am happy that you were able to write it. Thanks for the email about the perfume scan. A lot of bad things have been happening here on campus so it's good to be aware. Give your Rolie Polie a kiss for me!


Bryanne Weaver <weaverbj@nsuok.edu>
Tahlequah, OK USA - Monday, November 10, 2003 1:55 AM CST

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I just got of the computer with you, and I am so very sad right now. Your journal was very beautiful, I loved the poem and I am glad to see you have finally been able to write what you have been waiting for, for quit sometime now. Judy, you are such a wonderful, caring, loving person. Your strength inspires me to no end. I can not believe that tomorrow it will be 2 months, some days it feels like forever ago I got to see her and other days it seems like yesterday. Gosh How I miss her, I think of that angel everyday and thank her for watching over you and the rest of the family. When we went to the cemetary to visit Jules, it was such a beautiful day, sun shining, and one very bright vivid Yellow Butterfly flying around us I knew it was her visiting us. It was such a pleasant feeling. Judy you keep your strength up you are doing a wonderful job!

Julia my honey bunches, Oh How much we miss you our hearts ache with pain. Jules you are such a beautiful angel. I just want to say that We LOVE you so very much and not a day goes by that you are not in our thoughts. You keep up the good work watching over Mummy, Daddy, Jordon, Tine, and Jakey Man! Good night sweet angel.
Cathy <copalko@aol.com>
- Sunday, November 9, 2003 9:46 PM CST

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Dear Judy,
When I left the house yesterday my son excitedly pointed out a little butterfly sitting on a little yellow flower and I though of Julia and said a prayer for you and your family. And then when we were at lunch at a restaurant, he opened his drawing menu and it had another butterfly on it. I believe that anyone who has read any of your journals will never look at butterflies without seeing your sweet baby angel again!!!
Cindy Schiefer <cschiefer@earthlink.net>
Port St. Lucie, FL 34984 - Sunday, November 9, 2003 12:05 AM CST

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Wow, it's been a long time since I've signed in here. I've been without a comp. for some time (did the inevitable and opened an erroneous email and got a virus) so here I sit at Judy's comp. I just sat here and caught myself up on at least a mth's. worth of entries. G-d you people are so incredible. I, too, believe it or not, don't know what to write. Judy, you know I love you more than life! Jarrod, Jordaboo, Tine and Jakey I love you all as well. Life seems pretty unfair, correction, life IS pretty unfair! Jud, I know sometimes quite frankly I seem like a bitch lately. I'm having a really difficult time right now with Jules and everything else going on in my life. No, nothing compares to what you are going thru, but things still suck right now. Sorry, if I come off cold lately. I love hearing the butterfly stories and how everyone has seen Jules lately. I haven't. Maybe, I'm looking too hard, or just not looking hard enough. Not sure.

Julia darlin',
I love you so very much and I miss you so damned much my heart aches real bad. Kyra and Cullen talk about you ALL the time. I'm always hearing, "Julia was here or Julia touched me" whenever they see sparkles. You continue to take care of Mummy, Daddy, and your brothers and sister. You're doing an awesome job. Hugs and kisses to you everyday Angel!!

I'm thinking the U Suck Club should have something in the planning soon before the weather gets bad. Jeff, feel free to be the Pres. of the Guys U Suck Club...as intriguing as a biker may sound in the club...it's for non- biker and biker CHICKS only. :)
Jodi...President of the U Suck Club <sckycujo@verizon.net>
Pittsburgh, PA USA - Saturday, November 8, 2003 1:05 PM CST

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Sorry i missed you all when I stopped by last week. (Nice Pumpkin!) The sky opened up and dumped on me pretty bad that night...I was soaked! Your in my thoughts and prayers.
Jeff <Phishplugger@comcast.net>
Freedom, PA - Saturday, November 8, 2003 11:08 AM CST

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Hi everyone,
Just stopping by, glad last night went ok for you all. I will continue prayers for everyone in need. Thinking about you always.
Jules,
hello sweetie, saw you the other day, thanks for stopping by, we miss you. Take care of your family. =)
Much Love, hugs and prayers
A & D & Z
Amy Drahusz
- Saturday, November 8, 2003 9:22 AM CST

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Judy,
I was going through some papers tonight, and found the flyer for Julia's fundraiser. I also came across some additonal copies of the picture opf Julia, Hannah, and Isabella (Amy - I promise I will mail it tomorrow!). Needless to say, I have been rather emotional this evening. SO, I thought I would stop by the site and say 'Hi'. Well, I just read your update, and all I can say is "Wow!" I am so proud to have been able to start the Foundation to Honor Julia. Thank you for your help and support with it. Arabella is such a wonderful girl, and I am proud that she is helping us get this going. You are a wonderful friend, and thank you for believing in this dream. So glad you and Jarrod were able to get out tonight, and that you had a nice time. I can't wait to hear more about it.

Julia,
Still miss you so much Honey. Hannah said you were helping her clean her room tonight. THANK YOU! You both did a wonderful job! Thank you for your help with the Tumbleweed foundation. Love you bunches sweetheart!
Love Mary <zackysmom@city-net.com>
- Saturday, November 8, 2003 0:53 AM CST

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Judy,
Hi, it's Julie, Maddie's mom. I check in on you frequently, and want you to know that your entire family remains in our thoughts and prayers. We have lovely photos of Maddie with the butterfly from when we were in PA for the Protocel picnic- I think she told you the story- anyhow, I would love for you to have copies of them, if you would like- just email me your address, and I'll pop them in the mail to you.
With love,
Julie
Julie Dornisch <juliedornisch@yahoo.com>
Mpls., MN - Friday, November 7, 2003 8:57 PM CST

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Judy, What a beautiful powerful story! WHo writes these things?? I cant believe an 8 yr old would be so thoughtful and giving and concerned with helping beat brain tumors. With that kind of heart and ambition at 8 I bet she will. We keep you in prayer always and It thrills me that jarod is getting out with you around friends! Praise God!
Kim <dakk2222@netnitco.net>
IN - Friday, November 7, 2003 8:55 PM CST

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Attention, Members of the USuck club and wannabes, we will be having a get together on Nov. 13th at the King's Jewelry Shop at the Waterfront. This is located across from Loew's Theatre main entrance. We plan on being ther around 7:15 PM for a free jewelry trunk show and dessert evening. No tickets are necessary, just show up! We'll probably hang around the Waterfront for a while after, but get home in time to put our kiddies to bed. Come if you can! Love ya Judy!
Shellie
- Friday, November 7, 2003 4:31 PM CST

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Judy,
Always remember how ever you feel it's okay.Happy, mad, sad,
Dont ever think you have to feel a certain way.There is no right way to feel.

Not that it compares to losing a child, but i felt like about my great grandma when she passed.I know she's in heaven so much better off.but I wished so much she was here with us.
Julia's lucky to have such a wonderful family.
Evette (Mary's friend at HH) <skyian@comcast.net>
westland, MI USA - Friday, November 7, 2003 3:03 PM CST

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It's so very hard to accept the fact that Julia isn't here on earth. There is no justification for that emptiness here. We think and talk about her beautifulness each and every day. Then, the butterflies seem to come around! Julia is incredible. ((((HUGS))))
Tami (Celeste's site) <blessingsbyceleste@hotmail.com>
Pgh, PA - Friday, November 7, 2003 0:42 AM CST

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Butterflies

A rush a wings
they flutter high
to touch the sun
and kiss the sky

A butterfly
is with us now
no more a caterpillar
upon a leaf

Julia with angels wings
A soaring butterfly
with us they sing.

Wings

You have given me wings with which to fly
Now I breathe in deep and spread them wide
as we lift off from the silken petals
into the wind where the butterflies glide.

Someone who loves butterflies :)
- Thursday, November 6, 2003 10:34 PM CST

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Judy-
Your strength continues to amaze me! God Bless you and your family thru all the trying times ahead!
D.Atkinson
- Thursday, November 6, 2003 10:37 AM CST

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Thinking of you all today. Glad it was ok at work. SO happy that Jarrod was at the Caring Place with you. that is so great!

Love you all!
Love, Mary <zackysmom@city-net.com>
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, - Wednesday, November 5, 2003 11:43 PM CST

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Judy, Hello Im so glad that jarod is by your side! Praise God. Im glad that your going to a support group! I think of you always, And beautiful julia.
Kim <dakk2222@netnitco.net>
IN - Wednesday, November 5, 2003 6:35 PM CST

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glad to hear that things seem to be falling into place bit by bit... thinking of you all.
erika collier <erika_collier@hotmail.com>
tampa, fl - Wednesday, November 5, 2003 5:07 PM CST

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I am so glad for you all that you are getting everything you hoped out of your support group. It's so awesome that Julia is making her presence around you all so known too. You are all such a sweet family. You have a great day too! Thinking of you always. :-)
Michele <mash128@hotmail.com>
Winona, MN - Wednesday, November 5, 2003 1:15 PM CST

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Hi Judy,
I'm glad that the Caring Place was a comfort to you. How cool about the butterflies!!! On Saturday I am going to a "Grieving Mother's Group" luncheon. I'm a little nervous about it, as I'm sure you can understand.
I know what you mean about weeks vs. actual months. I'm still counting weeks, although the date itself is difficult as well.
Yesterday was Nolan's birthday. I did okay overall, but to be honest with you, my heart broke all over again. I know you can relate. Like you always say, we get through the horrible parts because we just don't have a choice.
lots of love and prayers and good thoughts to you
from 'angel' Nolan's mom
Lorraine <loralof@yahoo.com>
- Wednesday, November 5, 2003 12:27 AM CST

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Hey Judy! I thought I'd pass on a compliment. I showed my girlfriend your website and when she saw Justine she said, "Wow, look at that girl's smile. Get her into modeling already!!!" Somehow have a great day today! Thinking of you always!
Joni <BlakelyJoni@aol.com>
Groton, CT - Wednesday, November 5, 2003 8:19 AM CST

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Dear Judy & Family,
I just wanted to take a moment to send my thoughts and prayers to you. We have many mutually aqaintances and I have known of Julia since the time she fell ill, I was so sad when I heard she had lost her fight. As a mother of a 2 1/2 year old, I can really understand and feel your pain. A friend told me of this web page and I viewed it for the 1st time today. You said you wanted to know who was actually visting the site so that compelled me to write. I am sure this is very theraputic for you. Try and stay strong, I am sure it is very difficult.
Lisa Chotiner <carlysclosetpgh@aol.com>
Pittsburgh, PA US - Tuesday, November 4, 2003 4:27 PM CST

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Has it really been 7 weeks? It seems like a lifetime ago. I hope my e-mails help in some small way. This is much harder than anything I have been through and I draw strength from you when my life seems rough.

Hugs,
trace ;^) <smikeandsmike@sympatico.ca>
- Tuesday, November 4, 2003 12:32 AM CST

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hey there -- just checking in to see how it went last night?

You are ALL in my thoughts...
HUGS and LOVE
Samantha <sletoile@msn.com>
Barrie, ON Canada - Tuesday, November 4, 2003 11:55 AM CST

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Hey Judy -

You have helped me (us) in more ways than you will ever know and I love you for it. I'm glad that you feel like you've gotten the 'helping others' back but I don't think that you ever lost it. I think that just having you in my company makes me happy. It's just part of that irrepressible spirit of yours :) I hope to see you on Friday at Val's .

(((((HUGS)))))
Tami (Celeste's mom) <blessingsbyceleste@hotmail.com>
PGH, PA - Tuesday, November 4, 2003 2:08 AM CST

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Wishing you warm thoughts, good luck and lots of prayers for tonight's meeting!!

Hugs,
Carla <carlaj@zoominternet.net>
butler, pa 16001 - Monday, November 3, 2003 8:29 PM CST

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Judy, I have signed a long time ago when I first learned of your site (through Katia's). I check in regularly. I have followed your site since before Julia's passing. I just can't find the words to write but knowing that we are all here for probably makes some difference I'm sure. I'm glad that Jarrod is feeling a tiny bit better. Keep up the great work, you are an inspiration to all...
Cheryl P.
Fair Lawn, NJ - Monday, November 3, 2003 12:54 AM CST

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Step by step you will do what you need to do! And you are SOO right - the quote does bear a striking resemblance to you!

I will keep you all in my thoughts tonight!

HUGS and love,
Samantha <sletoile@msn.com>
Barrie, ON Canada - Monday, November 3, 2003 7:42 AM CST

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Dear Judy,
What a beautiful butterfly background!! You will surrounded by Julia's love forever. Good luck tonight at the Caring Place. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family always.
Kathy
- Monday, November 3, 2003 6:08 AM CST

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Judy sounds like the weekend for you was a great one. I of course am trying to work alot when Maxie is having good days. At least until SSI comes through. And I of course told a customer off in the store today. Probably will get fired before this is all over with. The man pinted his finger in my face. I was yelling he was too. I was out of line and so was he. Anyway, have a good night tomorrow night. I will be thinking of you when I drive home at night from work and Julia is the brightest star I see. www.caringbridge.org/va/maxie/
Christy <IMAQT430@aol.com>
Amelia, VA - Monday, November 3, 2003 1:53 AM CST

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Hi Judy
Just a quick note to let you know that we are still thinking and praying for you and your family. If you had a chance to listen to the tape, I hope it was helpfull.I was just looking at the pictures of Jules on your page and thinking how I felt the night I went to see her at Kanai's. I remember thinking it would be difficult,but,when I saw her she just looked so beautiful and peaceful that I couldn't feel anything but awe for all her courage and all that she accomplished in such a short time.A tremendous statement to all who knew her!!!God bless her for all her sweetness and innocent charm that she touched so many lives with!!I will forever remember her in this way.The Lord gave this to her as a gift,and,by the way,I also think He has given you a really super gift in your writing.Maybe you haven't realized it yet but I think at some point you may want to think about using it to help others.God bless you and your family.
Mary Jean Tudi <maryjeantudi@msn.com>
Pittsburgh, Pa USA - Sunday, November 2, 2003 11:18 PM CST

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I am glad you had some fun this weekend, it's always good to be able to forget about your troubles for the time being. I hope everything goes ok for you.

Bryanne Weaver <weaverbj@nsuok.edu>
Tahlequah , Oklahoma USA - Sunday, November 2, 2003 11:17 PM CST

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Judy, I am so glad to hear that you and yours had a great weekend. As always you are in thought and prayer. We will pray especially hard for your first meeting tomorrow. You are one spectacular woman.
Much Love,
Betsy, Daryl & Alex.
Betsy Sibbet <Betsyalex@mail.com>
Pittsburgh, PA USA - Sunday, November 2, 2003 11:17 PM CST

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Judy,
Glad you had some fun this weekend. YOu are always in my thoughts.

Julia,
Missing you always. Glad you were there for your family this weekend, and that you are always watching over them. You are and always will be the most perfect Angel. Love you sweetheart...
Mary & Hannah <zackysmom@city-net.com>
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, - Sunday, November 2, 2003 9:13 PM CST

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Hi Judy and gang,
As usual it was great spending so much time together this weekend. What made it even better was that Jarrod was there also. Today must have been very hard for you going thru Julia's clothes. I cant even imagine and if I do I feel very very sad. I know you can ask for help if you really need it but it just seems like you hardly ever. But I am glad you will when and if you do. We are all here for you, you are very loved. I just love the butterflies, and I am sure Jules does too. She will be with you all tomorrow and help you all through.

Jules, missed you very much this weekend as well as all the time. I know that you are around us all taking good care of us. Please be with your family tomorrow night, they will need you darling. Good night sweetie.
Much Love, hugs, and prayers.
A & D & Z
Amy Drahusz
- Sunday, November 2, 2003 8:37 PM CST

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Judy , I love the butteflies. How neat you found them and could get them on the site. I will be Praying for you tomorrow night at your evaluation. You sound better the past few days I think that makes julia smile. Im glad jarod was able to go out with you im sure that was a Huge comfort to you. God bless you all.
Kim <dakk2222@netnitco.net>
IN - Sunday, November 2, 2003 8:19 PM CST

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Hi, Judy.
I missed you today in church. I saw Justine, but not you. Tay tried to get her to sing with us. It didn't work. Hope to see you tomorrow at the school if I come when mom dropps J. off.
Tell Justine i said Hi.

Christina <Hlpotter3@aol.com>
- Sunday, November 2, 2003 12:03 AM CST

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hi judy
forever missing our angels


It's just a little,
But means a lot,
To say dear friend,
I haven't forgot.

«♥Mitchell♥»

love abbie
ab <afraser1@tru.eastlink.ca>
ns, ns can - Sunday, November 2, 2003 9:37 AM CST

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I started following your entries from Nolans hope. Julia was such a beautiful child! I also didn't want to look at the pictures of Julia in her coffin but she looked so peaceful!!!!
Lisa M
ST PAUL, mn usa - Saturday, November 1, 2003 10:26 PM CST

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Sending wishes your way for a very peaceful day! :)
Eileen
- Saturday, November 1, 2003 9:57 PM CST

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Praying for you all today! I wanted to say Hello!
Kim <dakk2222@netnitco.net>
IN - Saturday, November 1, 2003 6:07 PM CST

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Judy...My heart breaks for you as I read your journal entry. Please know that you're in my thoughts and prayers. You have so many people that care about you and will keep Angel Julia close to our hearts forever.

Much love...
Terry Snyder (Angel Jalen's "Am-Maw") http://www.caringbridge.org/fl/jalen <vix207@aol.com>
Royal Palm Beach, FL - Saturday, November 1, 2003 3:02 PM CST

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Judy,
Just think, you have touched another persons life.I am sure the benefits lady will be more careful about an inquiring phone call in the future. You are right a lot of people these days just go through the day doing there job and not paying attention to obvious information. (like birthdates and such...) I am sorry that phone call had to happen to you. It just makes it more obvious that you are a special person because you had Julia in your life, and you indeed had to slow down and take things moment by moment, and pay close attention to the "details" in life. We can all learn from that!!
Mary Therese Luedke (friend of Maddie) caringbridge/mn/maddie <jmtjluedke@msn.com>
Minneapolis, MN - Saturday, November 1, 2003 10:30 AM CST

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Dear Judy,

Sending good thoughts and prayers your way..

Love,
Carol
Carol A. Finley <cafin@msn.com>
Pittsburgh, PA USA - Saturday, November 1, 2003 7:06 AM CST

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Julia,

Honey Bunches I have to write to you today sweetie. I thought of you so much today. It was a sunny, warm Halloween and I know you were here with us and gave us such a beautiful Day & Evening. Thank you sweet cheeks. I had a very hard time getting through Joshua's parade at school today because all I thought of was you. I looked for butterflies but I did not see any, and that is because I am sure you were with your Mom, Dad, Brothers and sister. That is okay you were in my mind. Julia, you are such a precious lil' angel and we miss you dearly, especially Josh he talks about you almost everyday. He meant a new little girl named Sarah at school and she walked out into the parade and there she stood a Monarch Butterfly I could not believe my eyes. Now that I think about it you were there right next to Joshua's side. Thank You! Well I must end here and wish you a Great Big Happy Halloween Jules, We all love you. xoxoxoxoxoxoxox!!!!!!!!!!!!! Good Night Angel
Cathy
- Friday, October 31, 2003 9:59 PM CST

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I have been checking in on your, sorry, Julia's page for about a month now. I found your page through Marissa's page. My daughter, Karina also has a brain tumor called ATRT. Marissa lived across the hall from us at Ronald McDonald House in Memphis. She was a very precious girl as was your Julia. I enjoy reading your page and hearing how you are doing. I must me a glutton for punishment because I continuously look at Julia's pictures and they always make me cry. If you ever need someone to talk to or cry to, please feel free to get in touch with me. We are all still one family....always! God bless you and your family.
Marci Hurtado <marci.lh@verizon.net or www.caringbridge.org/md/karinahurtado>
Laurel, MD - Friday, October 31, 2003 9:00 PM CST

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I'm guilty. I NEVER leave guestbook entries, but ALWAYS read your journal. Your strength is a source of inspiration to me and I followed Julia's journey before she passed and now I like to check up and see how you and your family are doing. I just never know what to say in these entries....just don't have a way with words. But I supposse that sometimes it's not just having the right words to say, but letting someone know you're thinking of them.
Danielle
Santa Clarita, CA USA - Friday, October 31, 2003 4:40 PM CST

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Hi Levy family,
Can't wait to see you all tonight. I am glad Jules came to see you yesterday. Just remember you are never alone. We are here for you whenever.

Much Love, Hugs, and Prayers.
A & D & Z

Hi ya sweet Jules, good job helping mommy yesterday. You are the best little angel. We miss you too.
Amy Drahusz
- Friday, October 31, 2003 2:51 PM CST

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Hi Judy,

Just a note to let you know that you're thought of and prayed for here. Thank you for your honesty and for sharing your beautiful Julia with us.

Suz
Susan King <suznk_01@yahoo.com>
Fresno, for now, CA USA - Friday, October 31, 2003 1:31 PM CST

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Good Morning Levy family!

I hope everyone is having a good day. I am glad you liked the poem Mrs Levy :). I love your nickname for Julia (the really long one) I think it's kind of cute.Well, I hope everything is going ok and that you had a good day at work.

Bryanne <weaverbj@nsuok.edu>
Tahlequah, OK USA - Friday, October 31, 2003 12:07 AM CST

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Judy, I have been following your family's journey and will CONTINUE keeping you all in my prayers. Julia will never be forgotten by many who never knew her.
Joan Hansen <JHansen565@aol.com>
Minneapolis, MN - Friday, October 31, 2003 11:35 AM CST

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Judy,
I have been following your story for some time. I found you through another site. I am sorry for your loss! I just wanted you to know that when I read your entries it makes me appreciate what I have and that my children are healthy. It's easy to get caught up in life, work etc. Your entries are a reminder to me to enjoy my boys every day! You and your daughter have touched my life and I thank you for sharing your story.
Jennifer
Jennifer <jbrehmer@newulmtel.net>
MN - Friday, October 31, 2003 11:10 AM CST

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Your entry was touching as always. You listen to that great advice Judy, and you take as much time as you want and need. You are a strong person and such an inspiration. Little Julia and the rest of your family is lucky to have you!
Michele <mash128@hotmail.com>
Winona, MN - Friday, October 31, 2003 10:58 AM CST

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Judy - just wanna hug ya right now - a big huge hug that will let you know how much you mean to me!

Your post touched me yet again - ouch...know that you are NEVER alone and that you have so many friends to call on should you need to.

HUGS and love,
Samantha <sletoile@msn.com>
Barrie, ON Canada - Friday, October 31, 2003 9:39 AM CST

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Just wanted to stop in and say Hello. You know we are here for you.

Lots of love,
The Rogalsky's
Judy Rogalsky <jrogalsky1@pghboe.net>
Pgh, PA USA - Friday, October 31, 2003 7:45 AM CST

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Good Morning Judy,
I just wanted to tell you that I constantly think of you and pray for your peace. I hope today can find some smiles as you and your children ( I know that Julia will be there in spirit) trick or treat. I can only imagine that your mind will be on Angel Julia and her physical absence. Please know that all of your "new" and old friends are here for you and even if we can't be there with you to support you, that we wrap our love and hearts around you toady and eveyday.

Much love
Terri Carter <TLC2866@sbcglobal.net>
Manchester, CT - Friday, October 31, 2003 5:45 AM CST

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Jude’s,

Your journal entry tonight took me right back to that awful day. Seven weeks… On one hand it feels like this all happened ages ago in some bad dream, on the other it was just yesterday…very real and tragic.

"If I could wave a magic wand, I'd make everything alright".

Tell Justine and Kara that it’s almost time for my next hair stylist appointment. I’ll be in Pittsburgh next Wednesday evening and hopefully will catch you at home. Even though it’s getting pretty cold outside, Julia is still logging a lot of miles with me on the bike! She’s with me wherever I go. Give the kids a hug for me! Your all in my prayers!

Uncle Jeff <Phishplugger@comcast.net>
Freedom, PA - Friday, October 31, 2003 0:04 AM CST

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Judy, Wow what an entry today My heart absolutely broke for you. I totally understand the fact you wanted to dig up the rocks to get to her. I can honestly feel that I would feel the same way. To know my baby (babys shell) was there would be unbearable. I really think the crying and journaling and jarod and the kids are what is going to get you through this. I forgot to mention I love your nickname for julia Rolie Polie it is so cute! Happy Halloween Sweet baby julia on your First halloween in Heaven. Mommy and Daddy miss you terribly so give them a hug.Sending hugs to you judy!
Kim <dakk2222@netnitco.net>
IN - Thursday, October 30, 2003 10:37 PM CST

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Your dear, sweet Julia has touched more lives than you could ever imagine! Every child is so precious and they leave their mark on our hearts and lives! Julia will be forever with you and your family! Thank you for sharing with us and allowing us to pray with you and for you. We'll continue to keep you in our prayers.
Amy Swavely <swavels5@aol.com>
- Thursday, October 30, 2003 10:03 PM CST

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LOL Judy, you watch "ER" after all that time in the hospital??? How about "The Sopranos" or "Sex in the City" or "The Batchelor?"

Happy Halloween to your Little Angel who just might have her hands in a pumpkin!
Joni Blakely <BlakelyJoni@aol.com>
Groton, CT USA - Thursday, October 30, 2003 9:34 PM CST

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Dear Judy, Jarrod and family,
Each day that passes will bring with it more joy and less heartache. And I don't think that that means your loss will ever have any less meaning - it is just a natural healing process. Be kind to yourself, seven weeks is not a long time when compared to the years you spent with her. Take each day slowly and do what feels right. There is no time limit on healing and what is right for one isnt for another. I think about you all so much. Stay well and feel free to email me directly if you ever want.
Cindy Schiefer <cschiefer@earthlink.net>
Port St. Lucie, FL 34984 - Thursday, October 30, 2003 7:51 PM CST

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hi Judy and her family!
It is me, Arabella and i Am typing this myself. That is why it lOoks pretty bad.

I just wan t to say hi and have a happy haloween and I am thinkeing of you and beautifull Julia.

with love from Arabella (Mao Yue)
Arabella Eliza Frances Uhry (Grade 2)
New York, NY USA - Thursday, October 30, 2003 7:24 PM CST

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Going back to work must be really hard. I had a hard time going back to work after my son's surgery. It must be even harder for you. Take care and try to have a good halloween.

www.caringbridge.org/wa/mitchellboy
Paula(Mitch's mom) <Phstyln@msn.com>
Vancouver, Wa - Thursday, October 30, 2003 6:06 PM CST

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Hi,
I just wanted to say I do think about you everyday. I hope you have a good day today. Enjoy life! Good luck.
Allison <sweetdreamer1989@yahoo.com>
Columbia, MO - Thursday, October 30, 2003 4:45 PM CST

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EXTRA SPECIAL PRAYERS for the entire Levy Family!! Judy and Julia you have definitely touched many many lives.
ANGEL JULIA, Happy Halloween in Heaven Honey!!! Keep sending your family signs of love, you are truly missed on Earth!!
Kathy <UlicnyKKU@aol.com>
- Thursday, October 30, 2003 3:20 PM CST

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Signing in to let you know that you definetly have touched, and continue to touch, my life daily. I thank you so much for sharing your life with me. Somedays when I think my day is going rough, I think of you and I have the strength. Your daughter is so beautiful, and I know that she is an angel watching over you everyday! Thank you so much!
Laura Foster <foster_10@hotmail.com>
Mankato, MN - Thursday, October 30, 2003 3:05 PM CST

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I've signed before, but I too think about you and your daughter very often. Ever since reading about the Caring Bridge children, I haven't taken for granted anything! I now donate plasma and give blood, I really appreciate the people in my life, and I just have a deeper thinking of how precious life is. You have definitely made me more aware of the things around me. I know there are things that I cannot change, but I've learned a lot about how to deal better with challenging events in my life. Thank you for being a part of my life as well as letting us into you family's. Keep a smiling face for your kids need it, but don't be afraid to let yourself cry with your family. Be strong but get better!! Have a great day... one at a time!

Kelly
College Station, TX USA - Thursday, October 30, 2003 2:46 PM CST

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Judy, I haven't signed in awhile, however you guys are in my thoughts consistenly throughout the day. My prayers are intense as I believe that they will help all of us. We are in the midst of something here at home that no matter how bad things are I always think about your and the way I saw you handle life this summer. I have pictures from our visit that I am sending you. I have held on to them only because it makes me feel, and think about how precious life is. I am starting my own 12 steps and facing them are pretty jolting. You are my inspiration and I love you so much. I miss you and Jer, Jordan, Justine, and Jakey that it aches so, that I can't just come over for group hugs, kisses and tickles. And you know every time I see a butterfly I think about Julia and you. Hang in sweety. Keep praying. You know, One Day@ a time...
.
- Thursday, October 30, 2003 1:56 PM CST

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You always paint such a vivid image...so much so that I can feel some of your pain! I would gladly bear some of it for you if I could!!

The Levy family is never far from my thoughts.

HUGS and love,
Samantha <sletoile@msn.com>
Barrie, ON Canada - Thursday, October 30, 2003 1:42 PM CST

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It is so amazing to look in this guestbook and see how much love and prayers are out there for you and your family! I am really sorry that we had to meet the way that we did, but please know that you, Jules and your family have touched me more than you may realize. Thinking of you often, checking on you very regularly, praying for you continuously.

With Much Love,
Carla <carlaj@zoominternet.net>
Butler, Pa 16001 - Thursday, October 30, 2003 12:40 AM CST

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Judy, just dropping by. I too check in on you all daily. I'm praying for your family every day! I know little Julia is watching over you always. You are all wonderful! Stay strong and hang in there. Hugs!
Michele <mash128@hotmail.com>
Winona, MN - Thursday, October 30, 2003 12:09 AM CST

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Judy,
I think I've signed here before but not as often as I check in. I continue to come back just to check on you and your family. You and your family are still in my thoughts and prayers each day. Julia will always be a precious angel who touched many lives.

Hang in there!
Trish <trishrbarnett@aol.com>
Florence, AL USA - Thursday, October 30, 2003 12:00 AM CST

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Judy, I read your entry today and wanted to honor your request by leaving a message in the guestbook. I have followed Julia's story since shortly before she earned her wings but have never posted and for that I apologize. Judy, you and your beautiful Julia and the rest of your amazing family truly have touched my heart.
Carol G. <carolg@fisherind.com>
Dickinson, ND - Thursday, October 30, 2003 11:40 AM CST

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The picture you have on the main page is so precoius, you can see wonderful bond you have with Julia. I will keep praying for your family. God bless you
sally <sally_torres@lusknet.com>
anaheim, ca - Thursday, October 30, 2003 11:38 AM CST

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I'm ashamed to say that I have not signed this guest book sooner. I read the entries often and only found your site a few weeks before your sweet Julia passed away. I found the site through another Caring Bridge site and found Julia to be the sweetest girl. I pray that you all find solace in her being in a better place now. I think of her whenever I see a butterfly.
Melissa <melissa@guarracino.org>
West Haven, CT - Thursday, October 30, 2003 11:03 AM CST

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To Julia and her family..
I too, don't know you and your family personally!!
I check Julia's site almost everyday!!...but I am guilty too, i never have signed the guest book!!...I guess I didn't know what I could say or do to make you feel better about the whole situation/experience that you've been through...Especially since you personally don't even know me!!...I don't even know how I found Julia's site, but I am sure glad I did...(See my neighbor's daughter Tori has ALL..and we know Maddie's friends mom..that's how I got into the Caring Bridge scene)...Anyways, You truly inspire me, each and everyday...Your strength, courage and determination is truly amazing...by bringing us more into your life's and what you are going through....it makes me value my life with my family and friends a lot more...I am only 20 and I have truly changed my whole view on life, because of people like you!!....I am now a every 56 days blood doner and I am in the process of becoming a bone marrow doner (even though it going to cost me money...but it's worth it, knowing that I might just be able to help one of these precious children)...and I want to Thank You for that!!..You and Julia will always be a big inspiration to me...I wish you nothing but happiness in life...even though at times, that might seem hard to do...well I hope you get the gist of what I am trying to say...I am here for you...if you need me...Thanks for making Julia such a special girl in the world!!....Take Care and if you ever need anything don't hesitate to ask!!..
Sarah
**Julia, Thanks for making me a better person!!**
Sarah Lorge <Sarah.Lorge@allina.com>
Andover, MN US - Thursday, October 30, 2003 10:25 AM CST

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Judy,
I too, am guilty of never signing your guestbook. I always try, but I never know what to say. I am a complete stranger and Julia has touched my life so much. When I saw the first picture of her, she captivated me. She is absolutely gorgeous!!! I think about you and your family often. I've been following Julia's story for a while now. I, like thousands of others cried when she passed. You are a very strong, brave and wonderful mother and I have such a deep respect for you. I only hope that I can be as good of a mother to my 10 month old daughter. Everytime we see a butterfly, (and we see lots of them now) I always think of Julia.



Thinking of you always,



Michele Manning <mmanning@conferenceplus.com>
Chicago, IL USA - Thursday, October 30, 2003 10:16 AM CST

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I've been checking in with you and your family for the past several months but I've never left a note. I have two daughters (2 and 3) and reading about your family (and others here on Caringbridge) has really made me try and appreciate and hug my daughters more each day. I can't imagine your pain. Just know that there are lots and lots of strangers saying silent prayers for you and your family.
Jolene
Indianapolis, IN - Thursday, October 30, 2003 9:56 AM CST

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I check on you and your family every day but I don't leave anything in the guestbook. But since you made a request. I sent you an e-mail about a BUTTERFLY RANCH here in Texas. I wanted you to know how to attract all the butterflies so you can feel Julia.
Brenda <nurserose41@aol.com>
Belton, Tx USA - Thursday, October 30, 2003 9:19 AM CST

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Judy and family, I follow your journey every day. My prayers, thoughts, and love are with you. If theres anything I can do, please let me know. You are a very special, strong, inspirational person. I will continue to check in. Love, Desiree Deasy
Desiree Deasy <deasyfam4@aol.com>
Pittsburgh, Pa USA - Thursday, October 30, 2003 8:22 AM CST

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Hi! Sorry I haven't wrote to you all week. I have been so busy and today I said that I am slowing down, stopping and catching up with the important things! You are one of them! I am glad that you got back to work. Keep going, girl. Hopefully each day will get easier for you. I can't believe it has been 7 weeks since Julia went with the angels; I see her star all the time! Take care and may the day bring you some happiness.
Mary Jo Horgan <horganmj@wpsbc.org>
Pittsburgh, PA - Thursday, October 30, 2003 8:13 AM CST

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Judy,
I signed the guestbook a few times but not nearly as many times as I dropped by. I followed Julia journey and battle for life and journey through death. It's not that I didn't want to sign the guestbook I wasn't really sure waht to say. How to you tell someone how sorry I am for the loss of your child when things should never be that way anyway. I do check in daily and think of you often and pray that you are getting by. Julia was a beautiful child and your are a wonderful family and I hope that you find strength in these messages and I now will sign often :)
Karen Ann Viteritti <kviteritti@yahoo.com>
Florham Park, NJ USA - Thursday, October 30, 2003 8:13 AM CST

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Judy,
Morning Prayer

This morning when I wakened
And saw the sun above,
I softly said, "Good morning, Lord,
Bless everyone I love."
And right away I thought of you
And said a loving prayer,
That He would bless you specially,
And keep you free from care.
I thought of all the happiness
A day could hold in store,
I wished it all for you because
No one deserves it more.

I have visited Julia's webpage everyday for a while now but have never signed in before. You , Julia and your family are in my thoughts and prayers everyday.

JoAnn Baker <bakerjo1@hotmail.com>
Houston, Tx - Thursday, October 30, 2003 8:09 AM CST

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I too am guilty of following your story, but rarely signing in. I have a dear friend whose daughter was diagnosed with Neuroblastoma in Oct of 1999. Since that time I have become a Caringbridge follower. From her site I was referred to another, from that one to another and so on. I have so many sites that I now check in on daily (Julia's included). My friends daughter won her battle with cancer and earned her angel wings this past July. I read the stories and words of so many moms and dads that have the most incredible strength and courage. Could I handle it, if I was dealt your life? I questioned myself (I think not, but know I would). Please know that even though I don't know you, I admire you and your entire family. I have truly been touched by so many stangers through Caringbridge. Remember even though I may not sign often, I always check for updates. You will always be in my thoughts and prayer. Laura Kondo
The Kondo's - Laura, Curt, Grace and Colt <lkondo@usffcu.org>
Tampa, FL USA - Thursday, October 30, 2003 8:06 AM CST

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Judy, I have been coming your webpage daily for awhile now but I have never signed. I am deeply saddened by Julia's passing even though I don't know her. The love you have for your family is so touching. Julia's story humbles me and makes me want to be a better person. God Bless
Kim B
Exton, PA - Thursday, October 30, 2003 7:51 AM CST

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I read your entries every day.Dont always post though.Not really sure what to say.But I will say this ALL 4 of your kids have an incredible mom.Know that Julia is smiling her little head off and is so proud of you no matter how you handle her passing..
Evette (Mary's friend at HH) <skyian@comcast.net>
westland, MI USA - Thursday, October 30, 2003 7:45 AM CST

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It's me again, Just stopping by to let you know that I am praying for you each and everyday. Love in Christ
Kelli Froman
www.caringbridge.org/ky/sweetpeascorner


Kelli Froman <lilk_21@yahoo.com>
Louisville, KY US - Thursday, October 30, 2003 7:38 AM CST

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I just wanted you to know that prayers are continuously being said for you family and the many others ar CaringBridge. Your strength, amazing, although it may be hard sometimes. It is nice to know that you will reunited eventually with your little one, but in a pain free surrounding. Keep the faith and know that the Julia is having the time of her life! May God bless you, now and always!
Verdelle Reynolds <player2player76@hotmail.com>
ALTA LOMA, CA USA - Thursday, October 30, 2003 1:55 AM CST

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wow Mrs. Levy, you just amaze me. I am happy that you got through your second day and that the kids went trick or treating. That's cool that Justine got to be a witch tonight; I was a witch in the fifth grade. This year I'm going to be a robot. I am making it so it will light up and stuff. It will be cool. Well, I hope you have a great day tomorrow.
Bryanne weaver <weaverbj@nsuok.edu>
Tahlequah , Oklahoma USA - Wednesday, October 29, 2003 11:08 PM CST

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Hi Judy, Your amazingly good at updating so people know how you are and what to pray for specifically. I bet there are many times you feel like just running. I think your going to be suprised at just how many people check in on you and care. I really liked the New long entry from the 27 yr old. That was such an accurate way i bet so many people who havent signed in feel, they dont knwo what to say. These kids are all so brave and amazing. Im so glad jarod is doing a bit better, we will keep praying for him. Get some sleep.
Kim <dakk2222@netnitco.net>
IN - Wednesday, October 29, 2003 9:48 PM CST

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dear Judy,
Just stopping by to say hello too. I wanted you to know I visited as I do every day. And keep you, your family and angel Julia in my hearts and prayers. I know its a tough time, as you face your "firsts" without your little one. KNow that so many of us are with you. *HUGS*
Nancy(bratt) <thebratt72@hotmail.com>
- Wednesday, October 29, 2003 9:45 PM CST

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Hi Judy,

I've just read your entry today and thought I'd stop in and sign. To be honest, the reason I haven't signed even though I followed little Julia's journey for a long time, is because I couldn't even begin to imagine how you felt at a time like this. Didn't know if you would welcome the entry of me saying how sorry I was - when I am a complete stranger who has no idea of your circumstances if you know what I mean? I check on alot of Caring Bridge children, and each and every one touches me - it breaks my heart to learn of the new angels (which is really not a good look when I check the sites whilst at work and end up wiping tears away while sitting at my desk). But then on the flip side of that - they make me smile when they fight so hard and win the fight in some little way each day. They are all just so beautiful each in their own way. In my 27 years on this earth I've never been touched so much as I have by these children and what they go through. They have made me appreciate the little things in life and to treasure everything in my life just that little bit more.

Anyway, I'm so glad you're still posting journal entries, I like to see that you are doing okay even though we've never met. I think by reading about you every day it almost feels as if I do know you a little in a strange kind of way.

Your Angel Julia is absolutely beautiful, and I have no doubt that she's looking down on you and helping you along the way, letting you know she's around every now and then with little signs and such.

Okay, this has gotten quite long. Just wanted you to know that I've been checking on you, and it's good to see that your journal entries are so open and honest, and that you're able to share your grief with everyone who has a little part in your life by logging on and checking.

I hope you continue to share, and I hope you don't mind if I continue to log on and check how you're doing. And maybe sign your guest book from time to time to let you know I care in my own little way???

With love from NZ
Angela
xxx

Angela Mills <angela@multi-media.co.nz>
Auckland, NZ - Wednesday, October 29, 2003 9:28 PM CST

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Judy,
Had a great time tonight. Isnt it funny we are talking more than ever before and seeing more and more of each other. This is wonderful in my book!! The kids are still talking about you and ustine ha ha, sorry but the boys love the girls. I am so glad that work is going well for you. You have a Great Family!! Thanks for all of your support also that you have provided me with these past few weeks. Love ya Cuz.

Julia, Honey Bunches!
I am just here thinking about you and missing you so very much. We went trick or treating with Mommy, and the crew tonight and I could actually feel your presence. I hope you are having a wonderful time with all of the other angels and your pap pap. As I sat in your dinning room this evening I could not help but to stare at your picture and see that beautiful smile and those great big blue eyes. Joshua speaks of you daily along with Monarch Butterflies, no matter were we go you are there. Love you honey Good Night Angel.
Cathy
- Wednesday, October 29, 2003 8:59 PM CST

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thinking of you all..
erika collier <erika_collier@hotmail.com>
tampa, fl - Tuesday, October 28, 2003 9:42 PM CST

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Hello to all the Levy clan,
I have missed writing to you all lately but am even happier because I have seen you all more and more instead. I am glad your first day back was good. I knew you could do it. It just amazes me that Julia is everywhere, I went to the home page of msn and on it is "JIGGY" just what you called her. I am glad she is letting us know she is here. I just wish it was that beautiful smile and soft voice hiding under her bangs adorable little girl that was telling us. Know that you are all thought about daily and we are here.
Much love, hugs, and prayers.
A & D & Z
Goodnight Sweet Jiggy
Amy Drahusz
- Tuesday, October 28, 2003 7:09 PM CST

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hi judy
im so glad your first day back to work was good. our prayers are with you
love abbie «♥Mitchell♥»

ab <afraser1@tru.eastlink.ca>
tru, ns can - Tuesday, October 28, 2003 3:13 PM CST

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Judy,
I am glad to hear that your first day back at work was OK. I continue to pray for you and your family you are a wonderful person and mom and I love to read your guestbook entries. I did not know Julia long but what I did know she was a precious child and deeply missed. I will continue to pray for her each and everyday and your family.
Love in Christ,
www.caringbridge.org/ky/sweetpeascorner
Kelli Froman <lilk_21@yahoo.com>
Louisville , KY US - Tuesday, October 28, 2003 2:41 PM CST

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Sooo glad to hear that your first day back to work was not as difficult as you anticipated. Do not beat yourself up for not remembering if your precious baby enjoyed carving pumpkins. You are at the stage where numbness and anger sometimes gets in the way of memories. This stage is there I believe to protect us. Once you move on too the next stage of this horrible thing called grief you mind will be flooded with memories....

Hugs and Prayers
Deneen
Mom to Angel Tiffanie
www.caringbridge.org/page/tiffanie
Deneen Gethouas <dgethouas@state.pa.us>
Enola, PA USA - Tuesday, October 28, 2003 9:01 AM CST

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Glad your first day went without any major hitches!

Very glad that your little ones know when mommy needs some lovin' and are happy to give it!!

Your Angel is always near, probably spearheading a group to keep an eye on all she loves and love her!!

Sending you LOTS and LOTS of butterfly kisses!!

HUGS and love,
Samantha <sletoile@msn.com>
Barrie, ON Canada - Tuesday, October 28, 2003 7:27 AM CST

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Good morning Judy,
I am glad that your first day back at work was easier than you anticipated. You are an incredible woman and a terrific Mom. Your Angel surrounds you and even if you could not see her last night as you carved pumpkins, you can be certain that she was there, laughing and enjoying watching her siblings. She will always be with you. Please don't beat yourself up because you don't remember wether or not she enjoyed carving pumpkins last year. Maybe someday you will, and maybe you are reserving that memory space for other memories of her. You are a great Mom ( I know that I am repeating myself but you need to hear it again), you are so patient and loving. Just know that you are in my thoughts and prayers constantly.

Terri Carter <TLC2866@sbcglobal.net>
Manchester, CT - Tuesday, October 28, 2003 6:29 AM CST

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I am glad to hear your first day at work went smoothly. I'm sorry for the rush of emotions. That's cool that your kids got to carve pumpkins! I hope you have a good day tomorrow
Bryanne Weaver <weaverbj@nsuok.edu>
Tahlequah, OK USA - Monday, October 27, 2003 11:52 PM CST

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Dear Judy: I learned of your site through Aizee's - I am so very, very sorry for your loss. I have followed your site for sometime now. I cannot imagine your pain, and I know there is nothing I can say to ease it. I only hope that in some small way it helps to know people are praying for you. I am so sorry your precious daughter could not be with you this Halloween to carve pumpkins and join in the family festivities where she belongs - it is so unfair. I know she is in heaven, but it does not make it any easier for you to not have here with you. I pray your peace will come in time. God Bless you all. Sincerely,
Eileen
- Monday, October 27, 2003 11:18 PM CST

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Judy,

I think of you often and my heart breaks for you and your family. It's hard to know the "right" thing to say, but know you are prayed over often. I know you never want to forget, but I hope that one day, it may become a little easier. Hang in there girl!! God bless........


Christy
South Milwaukee, WI - Monday, October 27, 2003 9:37 PM CST

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Judy, I was thinking about your first day at work all day. And checked in to see if you were sharing it with us. And you did im glad you made it today. Isnt it something how the kids need to love on you just when you need it?? Amazing.Well Just wanted to say hello! And im sorry Julia wasnt there to carve pumpkins. It just so unfair and awful. And My heart breaks for you all.
Kim <dakk2222@netnitco.net>
IN - Monday, October 27, 2003 8:50 PM CST

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Judy,
I hope all went well today, on your first day back at work. I was thinking about you and about Julia alot today - shed quite a few tears over here. You all are always on my mind. Most days, the thoughts of your Angel bring a smile to my face. Today I was sad. I wish I could ease the pain for you, but I know I cannot. That hurts too.

Julia,
We still miss you so - seems we miss you more every day. You are the most beautiful Angel - you are so awesome, the way you are taking care of your Mom and Dad, and Jordan, Tine, and Jakey. Hannah and I talk about you every day. We love you!

Keeping you all close to our hearts!

Love Mary

BTW - John is making more egg rolls!
Love, Mary, John, and Hannah, and Zack, Dan & Katie <zackysmom@city-net.com>
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, - Monday, October 27, 2003 6:53 PM CST

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Just found your site via Jake's page. I am praying for your whole family.
Am;y <acain@south.stokes.k12.nc.us>
NC USA - Monday, October 27, 2003 2:37 PM CST

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Hi Judy,
Thinking of you today and saying constant prayers that your first day back to work goes well.
Love, peace and blessings,
Clare <m60cs@aol.com >
Pittsburgh, PA USA - Monday, October 27, 2003 1:27 PM CST

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Checking in and leaving you the reminder that you are always in my thoughts as is Julia!

Try to enjoy work - yes its a new normal but its another of the million steps you have to take! Take care of you my friend and Julia will take care of the others!!

Keeping all of your family in my thoughts!!

HUGS and love,
Samantha <sletoile@msn.com>
Barrie, ON Canada - Monday, October 27, 2003 9:05 AM CST

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Hi Judy,
I just ran across Julia's site. This whole thing sucks. I am so sorry your daughter had to fight this beast. A good family was chosen to help her on the path. My daughter is fighting right now. She will hit her one yr diagnosis anniversay on the 29th of this month. She symptom free, but it still doesn't change anything.

I hope you don't mind me checking on you here to see how you are doing. I grieve everyday. The mourning is intense, and I don't know crap yet.

You may not be able to do this, but if you wish, I invite you to my daughter's site. www.caringbridge.org/ar/savannah
Please do not feel obligated. Only know there are several of us out there who have fought and are fighting the same beast. Try to take some comfort in knowing you are not alone.
lisa hurley <lisa.hurley@centurytel.com>
russellville, ar usa - Sunday, October 26, 2003 9:39 PM CST

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hi judy
I`ll be thinking of you monday when you head back to work. i just went back to work 2 weeks ago and its far from normal. co workers start talking about there kids i start talking about mitch and they clam up. i told them its ok to talk about mitch its healing for me. i told them mitch is still a huge part of my life,, like julias is yours.
thinking of you and your family
forever missing our angels
abbie «♥Mitchell♥»

ab <afraser1@tru.eastlink.ca>
tru, ns canada - Sunday, October 26, 2003 1:19 PM CST

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Judy,
Hi, I just wanted to say good luck at work on Monday.
Continued in our thoughts and prayers.

Julia, if your mothers love could have saved you, you would have lived forever.
Love
Betsy
Betsy Sibbet <BetsyAlex@mail.com>
Pittsburgh, PA USA - Saturday, October 25, 2003 11:11 PM CDT

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Just stopping by to let you know I'm thinking of you.
Bryanne Weaver <weaverbj@nsuok.edu>
Tahlequah , Oklahoma USA - Saturday, October 25, 2003 10:49 PM CDT

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Why do certain people to go through things like this? Why do these kind of things happen to great people? I've spent the last several months trying to figure out the answer to that question. The truth is no one should have to go through things such as this. I gave up on there being a reason after telling so many people that there was...

But even though we may give up on there being a reason, maybe there really is one. Maybe no one knows that reason except for Julia and her new friends. Maybe there's another page to the story that we are soon to learn...

I know this doesn't heal all the pain that you are feeling, but it could possibly help. I know there's a reason to life, but what is it? Why do you live if you are just going to die? Just like we don't have a definite answer to that, we don't to suffering either. Though we don't have an answer, we have to accept that there is sure to be a reason behind it...we just may not know it..

"Even in the desolate wilderness, stars still can shine."
-Aoi Nozami

Maddie www.caringbridge.org/mn/maddie <madelinepaguyo@yahoo.com>
- Saturday, October 25, 2003 10:41 PM CDT

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Hi , Judy, thinking of you after a visit to Grandmas tonight. havent been to her house in awhile ( she has been to ours plenty) anyway there are decorative butterflies all over her Kitchen. she had a butterfly lamp and everything. So i was Amazed, I said you never had these when did you get them and she said oh about a month ago at the craft show. Then i had to tell her about Angel Julia , And how butteflies remind me of her because of all the stories. then we filled her in on the short life a butterfly has . she never knew that. They basically live to make there 1 big trip. She was amazed. I said we know all about butterflies now! Enjoy getting back to work. God bless you and jarrod and the kids,
Kim <dakk2222@netnitco.net>
IN - Saturday, October 25, 2003 9:45 PM CDT

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Hello Judy,,

I just stopped by to say hi and to see how you are doing,, I think of you all the time. I was happy to hear that you were going to go back to work part time, maybe that will help you take a mental break, I know NOTHING will ever stop you from thinking about your beautiful Julia, but maybe work can help you to put others things into your head for a while? sort of a distraction.

well good luck, I will stop by again
Love from the Schmartz Family
Linda, John, Austynand Rachel
Linda Schmartz <Katausrac3@aol.com>
Glastonbury, CT - Saturday, October 25, 2003 10:03 AM CDT

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Judy,
Good luck with going back to work. I wish you strength.
Marissa Barrera <msbarrera@adelphia.net>
Boca Raton, Fl - Saturday, October 25, 2003 7:58 AM CDT

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Hi Judy,

All day long I have been thinking of little Nolan and his mom, Lorraine and then this afternoon, Cheyenne and I had a talk about Julia. So tonight I signed on to Lorraine and Nolan's site to say hi, and saw you had just been there. Please know that you are in our constant thoughts and prayers. No parent should ever have to go through this, but we take comfort in knowing that Nolan and Julia are completely healed and we will all see them again. God Bless you and stay strong.

Cheyenne's dad
www.caringbridge.org/tx/cheyenne5
Roy Fiveash <rfiveash@wcc.net>
San Angelo, tx - Saturday, October 25, 2003 0:39 AM CDT

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Hey Judy just stopping by to say hi and see how things were going. www.caringbridge.org/va/maxie/
Christy <IMAQT430@aol.com>
Amelia, VA USA - Friday, October 24, 2003 11:39 PM CDT

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Just wanted to say hi and that we're still checking up on you!
Erin <ccbubbless17@yahoo.com>
Columbia, SC - Friday, October 24, 2003 8:12 PM CDT

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Is the "U-Suck" club open to bikers?
Uncle Jeff <Phishplugger@comcast.net>
Freedom, PA USA - Friday, October 24, 2003 10:33 AM CDT

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Dear Judy,
I can't begin to imagine how you and your family are feeling right now, but I do want you to know that you and your family are in my daily prayers. I am also praying for an easy transition back to work. Thinking of you often...

Carine Ekberg www.caringbridge.org/il/lindsay <bnc94@msn.com>
McHenry, IL - Friday, October 24, 2003 9:20 AM CDT

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Judy, Just checking in to say hi and we're praying for all of you daily. Good luck on Monday, what a day that will be for you. If you handle it like everything else you've handled lately, you'll do it one moment at a time. I pray for your strength that day, as always, you're the glue for the Levy family.
Shellie <Khen608178@aol.com>
- Thursday, October 23, 2003 6:49 PM CDT

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I feel yery sorry about what happened to julia my one of my friends has a brain tumor and is still fighting through it today.
megan <meg_23_2002@yahoo.com>
Fort Gay , W.V. wayne - Thursday, October 23, 2003 8:32 AM CDT

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I feel very sorry that god has chose that pas for you child and my best wishes goes to your family!
Meagan Perry <meagan_perry_05_2009@hotmail.com>
Fort Gay, W.V. USA - Thursday, October 23, 2003 8:30 AM CDT

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Dear Judy
To say what you're going through and dealing with is not easy is an understatement. I pray you continue to receive all the Love & Support you need and that when you need it....you find a soft place to fall. DAD will also be in my prayers. May G-D H*E*A*L the pain deep within his heart.
G-D BLESS YOU NOW & ALWAYS
Paloma <mechica20@yahoo.com>
NY - Thursday, October 23, 2003 8:02 AM CDT

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Dear Judy,

I can't even imagine your pain. I don't know if you feel this way, but it seems like other Caring Bridge familes feel that the hurt and pain gets stronger as time goes by. I guess initially you're in shock, going through the daily "stuff" that you have to. Then the "reality" sets in of going back to work and carrying on..so to speak. I admire you Judy..you're so strong and are so there for your family. You may not feel like you are, but you are...You amaze me everytime I read your journals. Julia is alive in your family; and that is so "real".

I'm always praying for you and your family. I pray for peace for you, and that God holds your family in his hands.

Love,
Carol
Carol A. Finley <cafin@msn.,com>
Pittsburgh, PA USA - Thursday, October 23, 2003 4:11 AM CDT

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Judy,
I don't think that I have told you in a while, you are a remarkable woman. You are full of love, strength, courage. Take it one day at a time. Thats all you can do. Continued prayers for you and your family.
Love always,
Betsy
Betsy Sibbet <BetsyAlex@mail.com>
Pittsburgh, PA USA - Wednesday, October 22, 2003 10:57 PM CDT

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I sure am glad that calls to Heaven are not charged as "Long Distance" b/c I would not be able to afford the bill! My thoughts and continued prayers are with you and the family... Jules came to visit at work, today, I couldn't help but think of her while caring for another 4 yo named Julia - with a beautiful smile, long blonde hair and infectious giggle... and she said she wouldn't miss me, either!! ;) I wish that I could say or do something to help you... praying is all I can do (unless you find something else for me to do) and you are permanently located on my prayer list!

Great big hugs to you all!
Carla <carlaj@zoominternet.net>
Butler, Pa - Wednesday, October 22, 2003 6:16 PM CDT

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Our heartfelt sympathy be with you and your family at the loss of your child. This was such a beautiful little girl, and blessed are you that had the opportunity to share God's little angel. We will continue praying for you and your family. God be with you in your time of need.
Ms. Marlene Rocha (Houston, TX) & Hilary B Rocha (Pharr, TX)

Marlene Rocha <marleeroach@yahoo.com>
Houston, TX USA - Wednesday, October 22, 2003 4:08 PM CDT

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Judy,
Hello, I just wanted to drop you a line to let you know I am still thinking and praying for your family and especially you and your husband....

I think going back to work is a good idea. That Monday is going to be one of the hardest day since losing Julia. There will be many sad faces, co-workers giving there condolences, and ones that just look at you with a I feel sorry for you look because they do not know what to say.... Then there will be certain co-workers, one's you are close too that as soon as you see them you will bawl....

Once you get past that first day, it gets a lot easier.... I would not be able to get through losing my daughter if it were not for keeping busy with working....

One day at a time Judy and I will be checking on you... Hugs and Prayers
Deneen
Alive and Alone Without Tiffanie
www.caringbridge.org/page/tiffanie
Deneen Gethouas <dgethouas@state.pa.us>
Enola, PA USA - Wednesday, October 22, 2003 11:20 AM CDT

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Judy,
Words escape me. I am so sorry Julia is not here with you anymore. It just plain sucks. I hope you know you are always in my thoughts. I love you my friend. I am here for you always.

Julia,
We miss you. We talk about you every day, but wish you were here to play. You are forever in ALL of our hearts.
Love Mary <zackysmom@city-net.com>
- Wednesday, October 22, 2003 7:59 AM CDT

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Hi Judy,
Just want you to know that I am thinking of you and praying for all of you to be able to find some peace. I must tell you that you amaze me. You are a wonderful Mom and a great person. Good Luck next week as you go back to work. Please know that even though I have never met you, that I truly think of you as a friend and wish I could help you in this painful time of your life. I am praying extra hard for Jarrod. I can't even imagine your pain or loss so I won't pretend to...I will just pray!
Love
Terri <TLC2866@sbcglobal.net>
Manchester, Ct - Wednesday, October 22, 2003 7:15 AM CDT

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Judy - your friend here is existing as a shell and I can't pretend or tell you that it will ever get easier. Those periods when your heart sinks and your breath seems to follow are your physical body and not your irrepressible spirit. G-d brought your light to us and I am ever so grateful. We're trying to exist here along with this horrible illness and keep Celeste smiling, knowing that it is a good possibility that her 4-year-old life may be cut short by the same &$#*$# illness that took Julia. I want to weep and never stop or just stay in bed... but we have to keep going because we just have to even though nothing is gratifying really anymore and true heartfelt happiness is through our children. I'm going to make myself call even if there is loud screaming in the background and I weep uncontrollably. We really, really, really need to get together - some way and somehow.... Just come by after work if you can please.
Tami (Celeste's mom) <blessingsbyceleste@hotmail.com>
PGh, PA - Wednesday, October 22, 2003 2:04 AM CDT

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Hello Mrs Levy,

I just stopped by to say hello. I'm thinking of you. I joined Quilts of Love so I can leave messages in kids guestbooks who are sick. Isn't that cool! It's really great getting to do that. Well, I hope you had a great day. I am happy you got to see your friend. Also, that's cool that physical therapy is almost over!
Bryanne Weaver <weaverbj@nsuok.edu>
Tahlequah, OK USA - Tuesday, October 21, 2003 11:49 PM CDT

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Hi Judy....like you said before, we are getting through this most awful, difficult time because we don't have a choice. Yes, we have peace in the midst of our sorrow, and yes, we know our babies live on in our hearts...but it's still outrageous and unfair and completely sucky that our little ones were taken from us because of that horrible, VICIOUS tumor. I had never even HEARD of a 'diffuse pontine glioma' before last November.
It's been eight weeks since Nolan passed and people are expecting me to be 'better' now. Instead, it's hurting more and more as the days go on. That iron band around my heart keeps squeezing so tight...
Children grieve, too....it's sweet to see the way your kids are keeping their sister with them.
lots of love and prayers from
Lorraine, mom of 4 <loralof@yahoo.com>
- Tuesday, October 21, 2003 11:02 PM CDT

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Hi Judy....like you said before, we are getting through this most awful, difficult time because we don't have a choice. Yes, we have peace in the midst of our sorrow, and yes, we know our babies live on in our hearts...but it's still outrageous and unfair and completely sucky that our little ones were taken from us because of that horrible, VICIOUS tumor. I had never even HEARD of a 'diffuse pontine glioma' before last November.
It's been eight weeks since Nolan passed and people are expecting me to be 'better' now. Instead, it's hurting more and more as the days go on. That iron band around my heart keeps squeezing so tight...
Children grieve, too....it's sweet to see the way your kids are keeping their sister with them.
Lorraine, mom of 4 <loralof@yahoo.com>
- Tuesday, October 21, 2003 11:01 PM CDT

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Hi judy and Jarrod and little levys Its me pesty kim. i think of you i swear 30 times a day. Stop Pray and im hoping with all these Prayers Jarrods pain would ease some. Everyone deals different in there own time. I hope he is able to work everyday. Because there are 4 other levys that need him. And julia wouldnt want you all giving up over her. I know she is what will keep you going. I know the memories the pictures all must be so hard to bear. ANd the hurts so much you cant breath is a real common thing. It gets easier but takes along time ( so friends i know have said so (i havent lost a child.) This past july we lost our dog of 13 yrs. I was devistated just so so sad. And that is nothing to loosing your own baby. I knew after that i would be useless if i endured loosing a child. How could we survive such pain. It is real physical pain at times with the breathing you describe. I just think you are so amazing ,you get up you function and carry on through your pain. Your a great Mom. And the kids are just so beautiful. It was julias sweet face that had me hooked on her angelic little self. i will never loose her image in my mind. She should of been a little model. She is honestly 1 of the cutest little girls ive seen. And that picture on the web page of her in your arms is just amazing. you can feel the love for that baby girl through the picture. Like you were so happy just holding her, and she was so content in mommys arms, It is truly an amazing picture that you can cherish always. I really believe that Julia is happy and free of pain and running around. she isnt sick anymore and the fact you dont have to see her suffer is what will give you peace. Time flys so fast so im sure you feel like your 5 yrs was like 2 and you didnt get enough time with her. where did the 5 yrs go?? it feels like you just had her maybe a yr ago. and can remember it all like yesterday. I know that those memories are bitter sweet, they cause the pain and tears , yet make you smile that she was your little angel. You will be with her again God says so! hang on to that if nothing else helps. Sorry to ramble i struggle with trying to find away to make you feel better and smile . And for jarrod to jump up and cherish the other 3 kids and you that need him so badly right now. We are praying always, and i like the new terms with caring bridge that should keep out the rift raft!
Kim
IN - Tuesday, October 21, 2003 10:26 PM CDT

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Hello
I got home from work, had something to eat and played with the dog for a while and then I logged on to the web page. Up pops the page with 39,999 visitors. I cheated a little and hit refresh. That made me visitor 40,000. I don’t know if that makes me special, but a guy has to take what he can get sometimes. Any way, I just thought I would say hi and I hope everyone is doing well.

(whoever is visitor 40,001 you were realy number 40,000)

Dean Jorgenson <deanj@cmamn.com>
Annandale, MN USA - Tuesday, October 21, 2003 8:16 PM CDT

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thinking of you always and waiting on Julia to visit our flowers.
erika collier <erika_collier@hotmail.com>
tampa, fl - Tuesday, October 21, 2003 7:37 PM CDT

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Hi Judy and gang,
Just checking in to say hello and that we are thinking of you all. Tell Jarrod lots of extra prayers and thoughts for him. Talk to you soon.
Love,Hugs, and prayers.
A & D &Z
Julia, miss you sweetie, continue taking good care of your mom, dad, brothers, and sister. Thanks for taking care of all of us too. Love you.
Amy Drahusz
- Tuesday, October 21, 2003 6:11 PM CDT

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I hope you had a good day!

Bryanne Weaver <weaverbj@nsuok.edu>
tahlequah, ok USA - Tuesday, October 21, 2003 1:41 PM CDT

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Butterflies show up everywhere...

Always in my thoughts....
HUGS and love,
Samantha <sletoile@msn.com>
Barrie, ON Canada - Tuesday, October 21, 2003 9:15 AM CDT

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Judy
I am so thankful to be part of the "U-Suck Club", I had a great time, and hopefully we will do this again very soon. It is a much needed day for all of us especially you!! Jodi thank you for setting everything up GOOD WORK!! Snowballed your sister finally..
Judy, I am glad you had a good time this weekend, I did to, enjoyed every minute spending time together chatting, my door is always wide open for you and your family. I am so glad all of the children are getting to know each other better, mine love playing with the minor "U-STINK CLUB" HA HA. Really is it wonderful. I too missed our lil' angel this weekend, She would of been laughing at Joshua we all know that, she loved when he acted so silly!! Judy, she was here with us, as she is every other day. I forgot to tell you Joshua talked all morning before school about MONARCH Butterflies, I dont know how he knew their name but he did and said that it was Julia, So I took him to the fridge and showed him Jules pictures and he just looked at me,smiled and said WOW mom! I guess he never realized that it was a monarch butterfly.
Julia, Julia, Honey bunches we miss you so very much and love you sweat pea. Keep watching over Mommy and Daddy, you are doing a wonderful JOB. Hugs and Kisses, GOOD NIGHT ANGEL!!
Cathy
- Monday, October 20, 2003 8:34 PM CDT

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My heart breaks for you....
Brenda Ladell <ladell@cox-internet.com>
Paris, Tx USA - Monday, October 20, 2003 6:32 PM CDT

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Judy,
Just a quick note to let you know that you and your family are in our thoughts and prayers. Thank you so much for your continued love and encouragement for Maddie. She has something she will be sending off to you.
Take care,
Love,
Julie-Maddie's mom www.caringbridge.org/mn/maddie
Julie Dornisch <juliedornisch@yahoo.com>
Mpls, MN - Monday, October 20, 2003 12:27 AM CDT

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Wow almost 40,000 caring heartfelt hits on the website. thats alot of Love and Prayers! Gosh we spent our day just like yours at the pumpkin patch. Im glad your able to get out. It doesnt sound like jarrod does. We are Praying for him. Ya need a good guy friend to talk to him. Or maybe his mom?? Thank God for your sister jodi and your friends. Your Mother in law sounds really special too. I really hope you get some back relief soon. I know first hand how miserable it is. Thanks for sharing your journey with us . You are so very special Through such tragedy you have encouraged and made a huge Judy fan club that really geniunely cares and Supports you. And in the midst of your pain you have helped ease others. Your amazing and A gift.
Kim <dakk2222@netnitco.net>
IN - Sunday, October 19, 2003 8:34 PM CDT

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Hi Judy
I have been checking in every day but haven't written for a while-please forgive me- but know that you are still in our thoughts and prayers.There is a guy named Denny who works in the dairy isle at Giant Eagle who lost his only child to a tragic accident 8 years ago. The boy who died in that accident was named Charlie and Donna,his mom ,started a charity drive in his honor to help feed and clothe the elderly and poor children in their area(Bloomfield). The name of the nonprofit organization is called Operation Charlie. .I spoke with Donna several days ago and gave her Julias website.She was very touched by your journaling and all the suffering you and your family-especially Julia had to endure.Today when we went to the fundraiser,she handed me an envelope with your name on it.She had told me that she had done a radio interview on grieving shortly after her sons death and said she had gotten a lot of positive feedback from people who were going through similar circumstances.She felt maybe you would like the tape. I am not sure when you would want me to drop it off but if you have a minute just drop me a line or call(I think Justine has the number).Anytime for me is fine.Take care and know that we will be sending up prayers before the Father for healing.
Mary Jean Tudi <maryjeantudi@msn.com>
Pittsburgh, Pa USA - Sunday, October 19, 2003 7:01 PM CDT

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Hi Judy
I have been checking in every day but haven't written for a while-please forgive me- but know that you are still in our thoughts and prayers.There is a guy named Denny who works in the dairy isle at Giant Eagle who lost his only child to a tragic accident 8 years ago. The boy who died in that accident was named Charlie and Donna,his mom ,started a charity drive in his honor to help feed and clothe the elderly and poor children in their area(Bloomfield). The name of the nonprofit organization is called Operation Charlie. .I spoke with Donna several days ago and gave her Julias website.She was very touched by your journaling and all the suffering you and your family-especially Julia had to endure.Today when we went to the fundraiser,she handed me an envelope with your name on it.She had told me that she had done a radio interview on grieving shortly after her sons death and said she had gotten a lot of positive feedback from people who were going through similar circumstances.She felt maybe you would like the tape. I am not sure when you would want me to drop it off but if you have a minute just drop me a line or call(I think Justine has the number).Anytime for me is fine.Take care and know that we will be sending up prayers before the Father for healing.
Mary Jean Tudi <maryjeantudi@msn.com>
Pittsburgh, Pa USA - Sunday, October 19, 2003 7:01 PM CDT

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Jud, (aka belle)
You and your family always in my thoughts and prayers.
Take Care
Love Always,
Betsy (aka lulu)
Betsy Sibbet <BetsyAlex@mail.com>
Pittsburgh, PA USA - Sunday, October 19, 2003 10:46 AM CDT

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Dear Judy,

I'm a "U-suck Club wannabe"!!!..That is awesome that your friends got together with you at Red Lobster..What a treat!..I'm glad you have such a great support system, not only on here!!..

I pray for you and your family daily Judy. I was just telling Joey C to run me up there to see you sometime 'cause I'd surely get lost!!...I'd love to spend some time with you!!!...

Take care, and special prayers to Jerry...

Love,
Carol
Carol A. Finley <cafin@msn.com>
Pittsburgh, PA USA - Sunday, October 19, 2003 6:30 AM CDT

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Hi Judy,
Hope you had a good week. Please remember that we continue to pray for you and Jarrod daily. The U-Suck Club Luncheon was really fun and something we need to do again. I was telling my cousin and his wife (Jack and Nancy) all about the U-Suck Club and they laughed so much. It sounded good to hear them laugh because Nancy has cancer and has been in constant, terrible pain. No matter what's going on in our lives, we all need humor. Jack said they need a U-Suck Club too. Today I was taking a walk and feeling down because of Nancy's cancer and little Julia and all those beautiful children who suffer so much. I was deep in thought when a beautiful yellow and black butterfly crossed in front of me. I thought it was too cold for butterflies! Of course, I immediately thought of angel Julia and all those other new angels I've been reading about on the Caring Bridge websites. Then, I remembered something I was told recently -- that butterflies signify eternal life. I believe THAT butterfly came to me on this cool fall day to remind me (because I have trouble with my faith) that there is a God, there is a heaven and although it may not comfort us because we are still "of this world," we WILL see our loved ones again.
Love, peace and blessings,
Clare <m60cs@aol.com>
Pittsburgh, PA USA - Saturday, October 18, 2003 8:02 PM CDT

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Judy, and all of the U-Suck members, what a nice, easy going day we had. To have a girly girl day like that was what a lot of us needed. Judy, you looked mah-ve-lus, as did the Prez of the club! Looking forward to our next time out. Prayers continue for Jarr.. Judy, I'll be praying for you as well, as you take those small steps back to work. Each journey starts with that small step, and remember that God will be with you on that journey. Ask for his strength. The survivor in you continues to shine. By the way, you know that everyone grieves in his or her own way...perhaps 'Paula' believes that only through tears is a person to grieve. We have evidenced through you that grieving takes place in your strength that you have shown with your family. Love you, and know that you are loved by many...
Shellie
- Saturday, October 18, 2003 9:13 AM CDT

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Just checking in and to say Hello! My thoughts and prayers continue to go out to you and your entire family. Thinking about you very often!!


Carla
Butler, Pa - Saturday, October 18, 2003 8:39 AM CDT

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Hello everyone,
Just checking in with everyone. How is everyone doing. Miss everyone. Can't wait for another meeting of the "U Suck club". What a good idea Jodi had. Prayers for Jarrod. Prayers for all the families out there.
Much Love, Hugs, and Kisses.
A & D & Z
Amy Drahusz
- Friday, October 17, 2003 8:32 PM CDT

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As President, I would like to thank all the members of the U Suck Club for giving up a couple of hours on Sunday to spend some time with Judy. You are all far more special than you realize. As for you U Suck wannabes, there will be another time to become a member. :) It was a great time had by all.

Judy, I love you.

JulieBulieGuacamole aka Peanuthead, I love you and miss you so much sweetie. It is so awesome to hear, everyday, among Jordan, Justine, Jacob, Kyra and Cullen how your name comes up in conversation. It puts a smile on my face all the time that the kids talk about you. Kyra and Cullen miss you so much.

Hugs and kisses to the whole crew, Jarrod included.

Jodi aka Aunt Jodi aka Aunt Cashew
Jodi (sitting at Judy's comp. while she's not looking)
Pittsburgh, PA - Friday, October 17, 2003 6:51 PM CDT

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Hi Judy...Just dropping by to let you know that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

Much love...
Terry Snyder (Angel Jalen's "Am-Maw") http://www.caringbridge.org/fl/jalen <vix207@aol.com>
Royal Palm Beach, FL - Friday, October 17, 2003 6:43 PM CDT

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I'm sorry for the loss of your Dear little girl. I would like to share this poem with you~God Bless!

I Am The Child You Waited for...
You waited anxiously to see who I might be
I came into a strange world where
there were bright lights and noise
there were also caring hands and love.

Why did I come, I do not know
But I'm glad that I did.
I could not stay
and yet during my stay my
life was touched and I touched others with my presence.

Love I brought and Love I received.
I returned from whence I came.
Grieve not for me.
Be thankful that we were one
And we'll be one again
For I am your Child

Author Unknown




Cindi <BassetHndz@aol.com>
Enola, Pa - Friday, October 17, 2003 3:30 AM CDT

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Hi Judy,

Just wanted to say that you and your family are thought of often and are in my prayers.

Big hugs to you,

Suz King
Susan King <suznk_01@yahoo.com>
Fresno, for now, CA USA - Friday, October 17, 2003 0:08 AM CDT

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Hey Judy, I just checked in tonight after a couple days, it drove me crazy trying to find out what everyone was saying about all the mean things that Paula person said, then I found it. She best be right when she wrote again and said it was not her, and even if it was who cares we know the truth about you and your love for your family. I am so glad you had a great time Sunday and as part of the U Suck Club I had
a blast and would love to do this again. Jodi love you for what you pulled together.
Take care and much love sweetie
Peg
Peg Smith
Duquesne, Pa - Thursday, October 16, 2003 5:14 PM CDT

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Hi Judy,
Just had to put my 2 cents in, then I'll never mention it again! Because of people like "Paula", thank God we have people like you in this world to remind us that there are so many more good, loving people than cruel, sick ones. You have chosen to share your thoughts with us, and I thank you for so many reasons.
Janet Hansom <jperrirn@adelphia.net>
Pittsburgh, PA USA - Thursday, October 16, 2003 11:20 AM CDT

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Hi Judy,
I just wanted to tell you a little story. I was talking to a friend in Maine yesterday and she runs her own daycare. One of her little girls in her daycare is named Julia. Suddenly, in the middle of a sentence she stopped and said "Look Julia, there is a butterfly outside the window, Isn't she pretty?" I was blown away....this person knows nothing about your Julia and it seemed ironic that she would say that with me on the phone. I know that it was probably not Your Julia, or maybe it was..she could be visiting little Julia's everywhere, but I wanted you to know that your daughter is thought of often and is truly a little angel.

Thanks for sharing your life with us.
Many prayers to all of you,
Terri
- Thursday, October 16, 2003 10:31 AM CDT

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Hi there. I am SO sorry I have not been by here in so long. I have not forgotten about you, I just haven't signed in for a while and I completely apologize. I took the time to catch up on all your entries. I am thinking about you and praying for you. I can't say that I know how you feel. I don't have a clue. I wish I had something to say to make it better. I know I don't have any words that can do that. I hope it helps to know that you are cared for and prayed for. I will do better about signing in. Please let me know if there's anything else I can do for you besides pray.
Khalita My Caringbridge Site Duke Peds BMT Aplastic Anemia <khalita@hecaresonline.org>
Lexington, NC - Thursday, October 16, 2003 9:04 AM CDT

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Judy,
Thank you so much for posting in Lindsay's guest book with all you are going through right now. It means a lot that you stopped by to check on us! You and your husband and Family are always in my prayers that you find the peace that you need during this time!!! The pictures of Julia are absolutely beautiful. She really is an angel!
Carine Ekberg www.caringbridge.org/il/lindsay <bnc94@msn.com>
McHenry, Il - Wednesday, October 15, 2003 7:55 PM CDT

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Prayer Request ... THis 3 yr old little boy Jamie and family need your prayers He is failing fast. Please stop by and give them some encouragment.http://www.caringbridge.org/me/medulloblastoma/index.htm Judy i hope you dont mind me getting the Prayer warriors out through Julias site. Prayer in numbers they say! How is the U suck club going?? that cracks me up!
Kim Dale Kyle Andrew Ryan
IN - Tuesday, October 14, 2003 10:58 PM CDT

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Great poem from Kate E. Just stopping in to say We are Praying alot for jarrod . Your a great mom and the kids and jarrod are lucky to have you. You seem to have some special people in your life. God bless you.
Kim Dale Kyle Andrew Ryan
IN - Tuesday, October 14, 2003 9:37 PM CDT

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Hi Judy, I am so glad you had a good time on saturday & sunday. how loved you are by not only your family and friends but your friends out here as well. we have come to know you through your writings and you are definitely a wonderful loving lady and mom to your children.

Thinking of you and loving you always,
Tess ('Angel' Nolan's Aunt)
Tess Baker <bakerbakerdt@aol.com>
Fresno, CA - Tuesday, October 14, 2003 9:07 PM CDT

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Judy, Jerry and Family,

We think about all of you everyday, and pray for you and for Julia. I am amazed at what a strong woman you are, and what a wonderful mother you are. I recently took Marissa to Build-A-Bear, and she picked her favorite, the purple bear!!! While in the making, we learned that the proceeds of the bear would be going to the Children's Cancer Foundation. Marissa wanted to name her new friend Dora, and I gave her the middle name of Julia. Every morning when I make her bed, I think of you and Julia, and I count my blessings. We will continue to pray for all of you. It's nice to hear the kids are doing okay. Love, Frankie and Sandra.
Sandra Civitate <civitate5@aol.com>
Pittsburgh, PA USA - Tuesday, October 14, 2003 7:52 PM CDT

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Hello everyone.
Sandi is doing her group tonight and I'm just sitting here doing some paper work and decided to take a break. I found a really good poam. I found it on the web site http://www.spiritisup.com/gardenwithin.html
I haven't had a chance to look around the site a lot, but I think a lot of people would like it.
Anyway, I hope everything is going ok.

Take care and God bless


A MOTHERS GRIEF

She was only a tiny little girl
Who lived just a few short years.
She has gone to live with angels
And left a mother to shed her tears.

She questions “Why not me” Lord?
Why this little child of mine??
I just don’t understand the why,
And wonder if I will in time.

I know each child is a gift on loan.
A precious gift from God above.
Ours to cherish more than anything,
For it is a gift that teaches us love.

For now, every single day
Will start and end with tears.
How long before this sadness,
So overwhelming now, disappears?

Will this mother ever find joy
As she watches another child play??
Will another child’s laughter
Help to take the pain away??

She knows this grief is normal
And only time will heal her heart.
When once more she can smile
She knows the healing will start.

She knows that life goes on,
Things she must do every day.
But God is aware of her pain
And He will help to take it away.

For the child is now safe in His
Arms,
Among other angels in Heaven
Above.
Her spirit is once more happy and
Free
Remembering a mothers true love.


Kate E.


Dean Jorgenson <deanj@cmamn.com>
Annandale, MN USA - Tuesday, October 14, 2003 7:50 PM CDT

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