Monday 18 April 2005 6:50am

Good morning everyone

I cannot believe the way the year is going by so quickly. It has now been 1 1/2 years since Mark passed away.

Can you believe it ????

I can't.

I actually thought that time would stand still. Well there you go !!!! Life keeps on happening all around me and I am finally caught up in it and travelling along quite well. I didn't think it would happen, but it is.

Its such a mixture of emotions. I am so happy to be able to be Josh's mum and I am working towards giving him everything that this world has to offer. But then, I have this really sad bit of me, its actually getting deeper inside me (which I think is good, I don't think its healthy if it remains on the surface of me), the bit where I have to go on in this world without Mark. That part of me is so sad. Its a real deep sadness that I can't really explain. If I think about it too much it starts to get heavy on my chest. Its the strangest thing.

But I don't tend to dwell to much on that any more. Not much I can do anyway. And if Mark knew I was not getting on in this world he would have been a little bit disappointed.

On a brighter note, Josh and I are travelling really well. Working and kindying !!! Nothing much to tell here except life is going on well.

Hope everyone is ok.

Life is good ... To have to suffer real saddness and loss is to have once been blessed with true happiness and love

Love to you all
Desleigh

13 March 2005

Good evening everyone

Just wanted to share that this month Josh and I turn another year older. Our birthdays are only two weeks apart.

He is really growing up quickly. He is talking better every day. He is also doing the manly things around the house. Once we drive through the gate and park the car, I unbuckle him and he takes off to shut the gate for me. I love it. I will soon be teaching him other tricks that make my life a little easier.

I tried to get him to pick up dead cockroaches but he will only do it with a tissue and even then he says 'Mummy do it!'.

Its sad that Mark isn't here to see his little son growing up. He would have been proud of him like I am.

Other than that we are doing really well.

Life without Mark gets a little easier to manage every day.

Still miss him deeply.

Life is good ... to know that deep love is such a precious gift

Take care everyone
Love
Des

Tuesday 25 January 2005 11:20pm

Hi everyone

Well its been a long time between drinks!!!!

Sorry for the delay in updating the web site but Josh and I have been wee social butterflies of late. We have spent Christmas in Melbourne (with jumpers and internal heating!!) and new year with my sister and her family. We have also spent five days up at Rainbow Beach with Lee and the kids, soaking up the sun and having fun at the beach. We also took in a boat ride at Tin Can Bay to try and catch a glimpse of the dolphins that come in for feeding. But alas, it was not to be.

We all had a ball, the kids really loved the beach and the pool. It was a lovely break away.

We are back in the swing of things for another year.

I cannot believe that I have now spent a second Christmas without Mark. Josh is starting to say 'I want my Dad' when he gets into trouble. He saw that it made mummy cry so now he uses it to get away with things. It only worked for the first couple of times and now I say 'Daddy would agree with mummy!'. Or something along those lines. He is funny. He says 'Daddy is an angel' over and over again. Its cute.

Josh will be turning three this year. Hard to believe. He is really coming along. I have included a photo from our trip up to Rainbow. He got a bit of sun on that day.

Hope you are all well.

Happy Australia Day !!!!

Life is good ... when you get to sleep in on rainy days !!!

Love to you all

Desleigh

Friday 19 November 2004 9:30pm

Hello everyone

Today marks the first year anniversary of Mark's death.

I had been dreading today, but somehow it has become another beautiful memory for our family.

I will have to explain.

At the beginning of the week a very good friend of mine passed away. Lorelle was only 55. Once again cancer raises its ugly head. Lorelle did suffer a lot of pain. Cancer is a cruel and ugly beast and I do believe it is the twenty first century's black plague. Someone said to me that all the scientists in the world should drop everything and concentrate on curing this epidemic. It sounded like a good idea to me.

Lorelle's death was a complete shock to everyone who knew her. It still is extremely hard to believe it has happened.

Lorelle's funeral was amazing. She had so many people who knew and respected her and they all came along. Mrs Fulcher was amazed and it really made her happy that Lorelle had so many wonderful friends.

One truly wonderful friend, Wendy, flew out from South Africa to attend the funeral. She arrived on Thursday morning at 6:30am and the funeral was that day at 3pm. She didn't stop all day.

Now, today, I picked her up in the morning and she came along with Cherie and Larry, Lee, Max and Rachel and myself up to the cemetery to put Mark under his stone. It was so wonderful. Wendy said so many wonderful words and I know Mark would have been stoked to see Wendy there with us. I think Lorelle arranged it specially for me.

I swear I believe wonders never cease and miracles work in mysterious ways. I think Lorelle arranged to have Wendy here so she could be there for Lorelle and then for me too! Unbelievable!!

Wendy married Mark and I in South Africa. It was very special to us and that trip lies in a very warm and special place in my heart.

Today was less fraught because Lorelle made me realise that we have already mourned for Mark and that today was just something he really wanted me to do. He didn't want me to keep him any longer than a year and I swear it has been wonderful therapy to have him there on my kitchen bench. He has heard a lot of ranting and raving from me but gradually I have stopped yelling and now I just tell him stories. He has helped me get through my first year without him. Once again, he is my best friend, still helping me cope with things that I think are too hard.

I love him ...
I miss him ...

He is now with so many friends, Lorelle being the latest friend to join him up at the heaven tavern. She of course will be drinking full leaded coke from a bottle!!! Of course.

I love her ...
I miss her too !!!

Please take a look at our photos.
They are great.

Life is good ... if when you lose a loved one, their loss is not completely a waste when you have learnt something from them and keep it close to your heart.

Love to you all.

Des

Wednesday 10 November 2004

Hi everyone

On the weekend it was Mark's and my wedding anniversary. We would have been married 9 years this year. I think it would have lasted forever. It was a wonderful marriage. It was a fun wedding too!! We were married in South Africa, in a little place called Pilgrims Rest. It was so beautiful.

Well thats one anniversary down and now we just have to get through the anniversary of his death.

Boy the year has flown. I can't believe we are here already. Time is really the only healer. With all the advice that you receive the only thing that really gets rid of the pain in your heart is time. I still feel sick now and again at the thought of what Mark went through, but that is also starting to recede into the dark recesses of my memory banks. It doesn't seem to sit on the surface as much any more.

I am playing my favourite song. Evanessence 'My Immortal'. Its a bit of a sad sack song but I love listening to it when I want to hold Mark close to my heart.

I went up to the chair today and gave it a good oiling. It looks great. I will have to do it every 6 months to keep it looking good. Don't forget to drop in there for a quiet peaceful moment. Its a nice spot.

I would like to let everyone know that Lorelle is in hospital and that we need lots of prayers going her way to help her get better. All the positive prayers and thoughts will help her to get better quicker. I will let you know how she is going when I find out the details.

Hope you are all well.

Life is good ... when you realise that in the
end what matters most is :
* how well did you live
* how well did you love
* how well did you learn to let go

I will have to try a little harder with the letting go bit!
Love to you all.

Des

Friday 5 November 2004

Hi everyone

It is getting closer to Mark's anniversary. My nerves are starting to get a little edgy.

I am remembering all the things I was doing last year. I can't seem to help myself.

Last year today, Mark was admitted to Mt Olivet ....... and then last year today I was doing .... etc.

I spoke to Nina from Mt Olivet and she said it is always the way with anniversarys. It will get easier as the years go by.

I don't think I will be having the big party like I thought I would be having. I have really changed my feelings about this. I think I will be keeping a low profile and just try to get through this the best I can.

The other night coming back from Lee's place (my sister) Josh started crying for daddy and he cried all the way. He wanted to know where daddy was and I tried to tell him that he was up in heaven with the stars. And he would say 'Yes mummy but wheres daddy?" I think he got confused because my sister's children call out to their daddy and Josh got a bit upset. Funny boy. He hasn't mentioned it since.

Cherie arrives on the 18th of this month. I can't believe it is this month already. She will be here with Larry (her husband) and Liam (her youngest son). They will be staying just for the weekend. We will put Mark under his stone up at Mt Gravatt Cemetery. Boy its going to be tough.

On a brighter note, today a group of friends and I caught the ferry across the river and walked up to Mt Olivet and had lunch on Markie's chair. It is such a wonderful place to have lunch. The view is magnificent. Check out the photos.

Hope you are all well.

Life is good ... when your child is laughing and giggling

Love to you all

Des

Friday 15 October 2004

Hi everyone

Josh and I have been travelling well. We have had the usual sicknesses from Kindy but other than that all is good.

I must share with you the way I am feeling at the moment. It is not what I expected.

Mark's one year anniversary is coming up soon and I am beginning to get anxious. I have been crying more often these days as well. I thought I was so strong but the closer it gets to his anniversary, the more vulnerable I am becoming. Its wierd. I didn't think I would be this way. Its not that I don't want his ashes to go under his stone. Mark spoke to me about that. He said that I was only allowed to keep him for one year. (He knew me well!). I have enjoyed having him on my kitchen bench, but I knew from the beginning that after one year I would put him under his stone. I think this anxiousness is because I am afraid to let my feelings go. I am scared that I will break down. I can feel it coming.

Like I said, its wierd.

I had to go through his things the other day and just touching his books and one of his hats ...

I think I will have to ask the counsellor if this is par for the course. This might be how you feel at anniversaries. If so, I will get myself more ready for next year.

Any way, just thought I would share.

Life is good ... when drinking an icy beer on a hot summers day

Love to you all.

Des

Wednesday, September 8, 2004 9:30pm

Hi everyone

Today was Mark's birthday. He would have been 44. He probably wouldn't have liked being 44. He would have said that it sounded old. He would have become more of an old man than he already was. Funny old man!!!

Today was also a sad day. It was Ian Mellor's funeral. Ian died on Father's Day, 5 September 2004. He lost his battle with the glioblastoma multiforme iv, just like Mark did. He fought a great fight. Denied it right to the end.

He was a gentle giant. Loved by many. Missed by many.

I was so lucky that Colin took me today. We payed our respects and said our goodbyes. We will miss him.

I have a memory I would like to share. Many, many years ago we use to all go camping and Ian and I would stay up late smoking Wee Willy Cigars and drinking scotch by the bottle. Those were the days!!! We invented a dance called "The Bindy Crush". We would twist and shout and jump up and down on the bindies near our camp site. Thus having a great time and ridding ourselves of the little beasties.

Thanks for the memories Ian. I won't forget.

Life is good ... sometimes this is hard !

Life is good ... when you can call on the good memories to get you through the hard times. Just goes to show that you should always be making good memories

Love to you all

Des

Monday 23 August 3pm

Hi everyone

I can't believe another month has passed. The older I get the faster my years are flying by.

In the last month Josh and I have been sick with colds and other great stuff you get from kindy but we are good at the moment.

Josh is really talking now. Its amazing watching a child learn and grow. I have friends around me having children at the moment and it still blows me away, what a woman can do. To actually create a life. Wow!!! It will never cease to amaze me.

I have finished my group counseling but I have another appointment with my counseler next week. It will be a one on one session. I think I need to speak to her about some of the issues I still have. I still have an emotion I am calling anger. She suggested, in someone elses view, it might be called frustration. Anyway, I am glad I will get to talk to her again.

The house is still not finished (painting) but I am keeping my fingers crossed that maybe this weekend it will be done.

No other news from the Sorensen household.

Hope you are all well.

Life is good ... when your friends entrust you with their problems and then you feel you are of some worth

Thanks Em

Love and kisses to all
Des

Friday 16 July 2004 1pm

Hi everyone

Sorry I haven't updated for a while.

I will fill you in on the past month's adventures.

I have been up to Mt Olivet and attended a memorial service for Mark. It wasn't just for Mark, it was for a big group of people who have lost their loved ones recently. It was really sad. It was also very beautiful. We sang 'A long and winding road' by the Beatles. It made me cry and then I laughed lots as I remembered Mark's friend Masa signing this song at a kareoke one night. It was hilarious!!!

Josh and I have had the dreaded flu, as has everyone we know. But we are over that now and are feeling good!!!

I am in the process of having our house painted, which is exciting. It is a completely different colour which will be good for a change. It needed it desperately. We have been in the house for 10 years and haven't done a thing, as all of you have noticed. It needed it badly. It had started to oxidise and come off on your clothes if you brushed past too closely.

I am attending grief sessions at Mt Olivet again. This time in a group setting. Its funny how you think you are ok. Well ... I thought I was doing ok until I attended a session and could bearly tell my story for tears. I have never had to endure this type of grief. Never had to before. The loss is like losing something inside my chest, so now I only have a hollow chest. It honestly feels like that. Sometimes its not so bad but then sometimes it is very empty and heavy. Very strange.

I have spoken to Cherie and she would like to keep her weekend up here with me very simple. She doesn't really want to hold a party. So what I thought I would do is invite everyone to our place the week before Cherie comes up so we can say goodbye to Mark. I have his ashes on my kitchen bench and the weekend Cherie is here we are going to place him under his rock up at the cemetery. So it will be our last chance to give him a hug before he is put under his rock. Please let me know what you think of this idea. That way Cherie and I can have the time for ourselves.

I hope everyone is well.

Life is good ... if you remember that its not what you learn or how much you earn thats important

Here is a tip ... next time you are on lunch or you are shopping or just out and about, try to walk slowly and look around you. Its amazing what things we miss when we are in such a hurry to be somewhere.

Love to you all
Desleigh

Sunday, June 6, 2004 10:30pm

Hi everyone

We had a great day today up at Mt Olivet. We had a few champagnes and nibblies and a toast or two to Mark. We were rained on just a bit, but we asked Mark to pull a few strings and finaly the sun shined on us all!

Thank you for joining Josh and myself in remembering Mark.

Now that you know where the chair is, you must take advantage and take some time out to visit and relax. It is a beautiful spot with a fabulous view of the river and the City.

I have downloaded some photos which are just beautiful.

Hope you are all well.

Life is good ... when you suddenly realise that life is so precious and wonderful and so are friends!

Love to you all

Des

Friday 28 May 2004 9:20am

Hi everyone

I am very excited today and want to share with you what has happened.

I was invited to speak at a function for Palliative Care Queensland last night. It is Palliative Care Week this week.

It was a wonderful night. There were 22 guests and 3 speakers. It was great.

It was held at Borders Cafe. I can't tell you how excited I am that I actually did it.

I wrote a speech but in the end I was so pumped that I couldn't follow it and just spoke from the heart. I was very emotional and it brought back all the feelings I have for the girls at Mt Olivet. I love them!!!

I am still running on the adrenalin!

I went up to Mt Olivet yesterday to check on the grass around the chair. It is very hard ground and some of the original grass looks like it is growing, so I think it will be ok the way it is. The "chair christening" will be 2pm Sunday 6 June 2004. Please come and join me in raising a glass to "The Outdoor Furniture Specialists, Carindale" for donating the chair and to raise a glass (champagne will be supplied by me) in memory of Mark.

Josh is doing great at kindy and has actually said "Bye bye mummy" and waived at me as I was leaving. That was wonderful!

I hope everyone is well.

Life is good ... when you get to accomplish something that seems too hard or impossible to do

Love to you all

Des

Wednesday 28 April 8am

Good morning everyone

Josh and I are well again. Josh seems to have got over his diarrhea now. What I have noticed though is that his tummy swells and makes lots of gurgling noises when he has milk. He has also complained "sore pooku", which means he has a sore tummy. I think he is lactose intolerant. I am going to try him on lactose free milk and see how we go. He probably wont drink it knowing him. But I am so relieved that he is better. I suppose it wont be long before he is sick again being at kindy. But I will get use to it and so will he.

I love being back at work. It is great to see everyone again. I work at the best workplace ever. I have great support. I have Mary, just a couple of rooms away, with all the support and patience I could want. The girls I work with are just wonderful. I can't thank my bosses enough for letting me come back when I was ready. I am a very lucky girl.

For the skeptics, I would like you to know that I am still enjoying mowing my own lawn. I am also now the whipper snipper queen of the year. I am getting the hang of edges but I haven't quite got them right yet. I love it.

I am yet to get the grass for Mark's garden but I will do that asap and then organise a Sunday to go up to Mark's chair. It wont be long.

Well, our life is pretty ordinary and there is nothing exciting to tell except that we are doing ok. I still feel nauseous everyday, just from missing him. I think it could be that I am going out in sympathy for all the pregnant women I know at the moment.

Thanks for listening to my ramblings.

I hope everyone is well.

Life is good ... when you can say "I love you" to your friends

Love to all

Des

Saturday 17 April 2004 1pm

Hi everyone

Josh and I haven't been well lately. I am better now but Josh still has the lingering diarrhea and vomitting. Poor little boy. It scares him when he throws up and it scares me when he shits !!!! hee hee hee !!!! Kindy rang me on Friday before I even got to work and said that he is too sick to stay. He is getting better now.

I don't know whether any of you have noticed a pattern. I have. It seems to me that when I am ill I really get upset about Mark. I will keep my wits about me next time I get sick. I will make sure I don't listen to any sad songs, my favourite sad song being "My Immortal" by Evanessence. The words are truly beautiful.

I am feeling a lot better today. I will sort out my calendar and set a date to go up to Mark's chair. I love going up there. You are all welcome to visit the garden, its a beautiful place.

Hope you are all well.

Life is good ... when you have time to stop and smell the roses

Love to all
Des

Thursday 8 April 2004 2pm

Hi everyone
I have been up to Mt Olivet and the chair is in place. It looks fabulous. Thanks again to "The Outdoor Furniture Specialists" at Carindale for donating Mark's chair. It is the most magnificent chair to sit on. It looks fantastic in the garden.

I have had a terrible morning. I haven't been able to stop crying. I had all these wonderful plans to take Josh on the train, but I couldn't stop my tears from coming. I miss Mark. He was such a nice man. I was so lucky to have been his friend and companion for as long as I did. I get real sad that he won't be there for Josh. It breaks my heart. I can't seem to get past it today. I feel sick in my tummy and can't stop thinking of him.

He was so funny. He had a wicked sense of humour. He loved to trick everyone. You never knew if he was kidding around or telling the truth. He was so good at story telling. Sometimes the most outlandish things would appear to be true, when Mark told the story.

I miss the feel of my hand in his. He had nice hands. Always dirty from grease. Not until he stopped work did I see the whites of his nails. I loved him any way.

Josh doesn't like me crying. When I was crying this morning he came up to me and patted my back. The "granny pat" is what I call it. I cried even more. He then proceeded to hit his head on the coffee table and started to cry himself. I think in his mind, by hurting himself, he thinks that is how I stop crying. He was right. I started laughing.

I appreciate this journal. I pour my heart out. It feels good.

I hope everyone is well and please have a safe and happy Easter.

Life is good ... when the mower starts on the first pull!!!!

Love to everyone
Des
ps have a look at the photos

Wednesday 24 March 2004

Hi everyone

Josh and I are home from Melbourne. We had a fabulous time with Cherie and the family. Thanks to everyone in Melbourne for putting up with me for so long. I will miss you guys so much.

I started work this week. Just 2 days a week. It feels good to have to get up and be somewhere on time. Its a good feeling to have a job and actually like it. I had a marvelous time my first day back. I was really unsure of myself at first, having had a 2 year break from the work force. But Isobel helped me through the day, thank goodness. Clinton and Mat helped me out too! Seems the computer was going to give me some trouble on my first day. Des and the girls had morning tea with me to settle me in and I had lunch with Mary and the old Corrs gang which was lovely. Thanks everyone for making me feel welcome.

Josh didn't mind his long stay at kindy. The teachers said he settled quite quickly and didn't get upset through the day. That makes life a lot easier when you know your kids are ok.

I am heading up to Mt Olivet today to see if Mark's chair has been put in place. I am excited. I will take the camera and try and get a shot of it, if its ready. Then, in the next couple of weeks, I will organise for a gathering at Mark's chair. Then everyone will know where it is if they want to have a quiet sit, check out the georgous view and contemplate life.

Cherie has decided that she will come back to Brissy this November on the anniversary of Mark's death and settle Mark under his rock. We will have a little ceremony to inter Mark. I think Cherie is worried that I will like the idea of having Mark on my kitchen bench. I do !!!! So this will be a great idea. Its what Mark said to me "Don't hang on to me for too long"!!! They were his exact words. I told Mark that I was going to hold on to his ashes and he was worried that I would become a little attached to them if I had them for too long. He and Cherie are right. I like him on my bench. I keep patting him and rubbing the velvet when I walk past. By November he will probably have a bald spot on his velvet bag!

I hope everyone is well.

Life is good ... when you actually enjoy going to work!!!?

Love to you all

Des

Monday, 15 March 2004 8:15pm Melbourne time

Hi everyone

I am sorry I haven't updated every week but there is never enough time in the day at Cherie's house.

We have had a great time down here with the gang and it is finally the week of the wedding. We are all excited and can't believe it is finally here.

This is my last week here. It has gone so quick.

Colin and Alex flew down and spent the weekend with us to celebrate my 40th birthday. It was a wonderful weekend that went all too quickly. Craig was also in Melbourne and came out to Franston to spend some time with us. It was a lot of fun. Cherie and Larry have really showed us great hospitality. They are wonderful people who will do anything for you. I owe them so much for having me (or should I say 'putting up with me') for so long.

I look forward to catching up with everyone when we get home.

Love to you all.

Life is good ... when you have 'stingoes' (you should see the size of the ants down here!!!!!!)

Love and kisses
Des

Saturday 21 February 2004 2pm

Hi everyone

Well we are packed and ready to head off to Melbourne. I am looking forward to catching up with everyone and also for the wedding of Ashley and Steve. Its very exciting.

I can't believe it is finally here. We have been booked for so long it just seems funny that it is now time to go.

I have been to see my work colleagues and I start work on 23 March 2004. Thats exciting!!! I am so nervous. Its been 2 years since I worked and it feels a bit strange. Poor little Josh will have to spend a couple of long days in day care, but he should be ok. He likes where he goes and I will pack extra food, which should keep him busy.

I have taken a couple of photos of his kindy teachers and the kids and while we are away I will be showing him the photos to remind him of their faces. That way it shouldn't be too much of a shock when we get back.

I have been up to Mt Olivet and the chair is there. It is in the workshop as they haven't placed the concrete slab down yet. It has the plaque on it, which looks great.

Thanks to Daniel, Kerri and Dwayne for making this available.

It should be all set up by the time we get back from Melbourne. I will organise a Sunday that we all go out there with a couple of bottles of champagne and raise a glass or two to Mark. I think in the afternoon would be better, cooler!!!!

I will get on the amail down at Cherie's place and update the site once a week.

I hope everyone is well and we look forward to catching up when we get back from Melbourne.

Life is good ... when you have airconditioning!!!!

Love to you all.

Des

Sunday, 15 February, 2004 9pm

Hi everyone

I went to see my counsellor on Friday. She has been wonderful to talk to. This last session didn't involve a lot of crying on my part. Believe it or not, but time is starting to heal.

The other times I have seen Nina, I would spend all our time crying. One time the session went for two and a half hours. Nina is very patient and caring.

I would like to explain how I feel.

I am feeling less heavy on the chest, not so angry. My head is starting to clear, where once it was clouded with grief, no thoughts would come clear to me. I am feeling a bit more confident about my future. I feel a little more in control at the moment. Sometimes even excited about what I have and can achieve. I am proud of myself for starting something and seeing it through to the end without backing down. I feel a euphoric power because of it.

Does that sound wierd ???

Maybe ... but I had to let you know.

I have just spent a lovely weekend with Emma, Jasper, Peter and Amrey (M's parent's) up at Noosa. We had a great time.

Soon we are off to Melbourne and to Steve and Ashley's wedding. Very excited about that.

I feel a good year coming on.

I hope everyone feels the same way.

Take care.

Life is good ... when it is full of love and lots of kisses and giggles

Love to you all

Des

Thursday 12 February 2004 12:35pm

Hi everyone

Josh and I went to swimming this morning. Barbara came along to cheer Josh along. He does so well. Its great to share with someone Josh's triumphs. He does well in the pool. He wants to swim now!!! He sometimes thinks he can. He just jumps right in. In Melbourne at Cherie's house there is a pool so hopefully he will be quite good by the time we get back.

The plaques for the chair are here at the house. They are pretty good. I am taking them to Dwayne and Kerri's shop this afternoon so Dwayne can fix them to the chair before the chair goes up to Mt Olivet. Its all set now. Mt Olivet are waiting for us to bring the chair up. They will sit it on a concrete pad and bolt the chair down so it can't go walking. I am so excited. I will let you all know when our little ceremony for the chair will be.

Hope everyone is well.

Life is good ... when you have no qualms about wiping snot from your child's nose with your bare hands !!!!

Love and kisses
Des

Tuesday 3 February 2004 3:45 pm

Hi everyone

Josh is doing really well. He loved his swimming lesson so much that I will be taking him once a week. Hopefully he will learn to give the teacher her balls back without crying !!! (hee hee hee). It was great fun.

I had a bad day yesterday. I have a lot of anger that I am carrying around with me. It is pure selfishness. Its anger in relation to my loss of Mark. I don't show it a lot of the times, it just pops its ugly head up now and again. I call this anger "Cybil". She is not a nice person!!! I am learning how to change "Cybil" into something I can live with. My counselling is working.

What I have learned is that I was blessed to have been given my time with Mark. He has changed my heart and my personality and everything about me for the better. I will never lose that. I may have lost Mark, but, I will never lose the love he had for me and I for him.

My anger will dissipate soon enough.

I just wanted to share that with you in case you get to meet "Cybil". In other words, I apologise now for her actions.

Thank you all for putting up with me.

Please take care.

Life is good ... when you are truly happy with who you are!

Love to you all.

Desleigh

Thursday 29 January 2004 8:30am

Hi everyone

Josh and I are doing well.

I am taking Josh to swimming lessons today. He absolutely loves the pool and the ocean.

I am going to put a stone stature of Meow Meow up at Mark's stone. Everytime I think of doing this it makes me laugh. Mark would hate this, but to me its like Meow Meow is having the last laugh.

I miss them both.

Love to you all and please take care.

Life is good ... when you get to watch a movie all the way through !!!!!!

Love
Des

Thursday, 22 January, 2004 9pm

Hi everyone

Mark's stone is finally finished. It looks great. I took a photo of it and put it on the site.

Josh and I have been real beach bunnies lately. He loves the sand. He plays for hours digging great big holes. He also really enjoys the boogie boards. Its fun to watch.

We have been busy getting our lives in some sort of order. Getting our finances in order will take a while. Des at work is handling Mark's estate. I still haven't cleared the mess from my bedroom!!! Unbelieveable !!!! Not to worry. There is plenty of time to do that.

Hope you are all well.

Life is good ... when you remember to put sunscreen on !!!

Love and kisses

Des

Monday, 19 January, 2004 5pm

Hi everyone

I had a tough day today.

I had to have Meow meow put down.

She was pining for Mark and was getting thinner and sicker looking and she also wouldn't stop trying to break into the bedroom.

She was not coping to well with Mark not being here.

It was very hard to do and I have cried most of the day away.

Mark's friend Mark (who video taped the funeral for Mark's mum) came to show me the video today. It was good to watch it. I was a bit of a blur the day of the funeral. To watch Josh running around the place was nice.

Otherwise Josh and I are ok.

Hope you are all well.

Life is good ... when you can count on it to go on.

Love and kisses

Des

Tuesday, 13 January, 2004 10:30pm

Hi everyone

I couldn't leave it alone.

I have been given a beautiful photo (Col and Alex's) of Mark's coffin. I think it looks beautiful with the balloons and flowers. I have put it on the site.

There are a couple more from Mark's party that I have put on.

Hope everyone is well.

Life is good ... when you can see something good in something bad

Love and kisses

Desleigh

Friday, 9 January 2004 10pm

Hi everyone

I have decided to stop doing the website.

I wish to thank you all for your wonderful support during Mark's illness. You are all such caring and thoughtful people.

Please take care.

Life is good ... when you win $2 on a $1 scratchie!!! Better than nothing !!!!!

Love and kisses

Desleigh

Wednesday 7 January 2004

Hi everyone

Josh and I are doing well. We are back at home and settling in just fine. We had a great Christmas and New Year with my sister Lee and her family.

I have some news regarding Mark's good friend Ian. Ian was diagnosed with a brain tumour and was operated on to have it removed on new year's day. The biopsy came back this week and he has been diagnosed with a glioblastoma multiforme. He doesn't remember the grade of the tumour which we will have to find out as it makes a lot of difference. Mark's tumour was a glioblastoma multiforme iv. Ian got home from hospital yesterday and is settling back in at home ok. He is going to be having a nurse come out to dress his wound until it is healed.

Ian is going to fight this tumour. He said he is going to turn it around and be rid of it forever. He is very positive. His brother in law is into positive thinking and positive eating. He is going to be good for Ian.

The doctors have offered radiation and are organising dates to get him started. They will probably leave it until his wound has healed properly, like they did for Mark. He will have the radiation at the Mater as the PA is too booked up.

I will keep you posted on how Ian is going.

Hope you are all well.

Life is good ... when you have loving support around you

Take care

Love and kisses

Desleigh

Sunday, 28 December, 2003 11pm

Hi everyone

We hope you all had a wonderful Christmas. Josh and I have spent time with my sister Lee and we have had a great time. He loves Max and Rachel. We have really made ourselves at home.

I am glad I have had this time with Lee. Its been hard. I miss Mark dreadfully and still can't believe he is gone. It sometimes feels like I dreamed he was here and that he wasn't real at all. But then I look at Josh. He is so cute and so much like Mark, the way he frowns at me when I reprimand him.

Josh is ok. Now that we are at Lee's he never mentions Mark. Only if he sees a photo. That means he remembers him but doesn't cry for him. He will never not know his dad. We have so many videos of Mark. The photos run into the millions !!!! Not really, but neally.

Please be safe and have a fun new year celebration.

Life is good ... when you say "blow" and he does !!!!!

Love and kisses

Dessy

Monday 22 December 2003 10:30am

Hi everyone

Josh and I are doing well. We have been social butterflies over the weekend. Friday night I was invited to my work's Christmas party and I had an absolute ball. I danced the night away and my poor old legs were aching the next day. Thats a sign of a good night. Josh went to his Aunty Lee's and had a great time with the kids.

Saturday we had a visit from Josh's Aunty Ann and Uncle Jim. And then on Sunday I had my bookclub meeting and Josh came along to keep the girls on their toes. We had a wonderful day.

Today I have spoken to Ian and here is what happened over the weekend. The hospital had no beds for him (!!!! same happened to Mark but at the Royal, Ian is at the PA) so they sent him home until today. I spoke to him in the transit lounge, he is waiting to be assigned a bed.

They are going to give him an MRI today (!!!! bloody hell, they keep changing their minds !!!) and then they will operate in a day or two. Great !!!! I bet anything that it will be after Christmas now !!!!!

Ok ... I don't mean to sound so negative or grumpy but to them Ian is a job and to us he is a friend. Its all a bit traumatic for us but for them its just a scheduling problem !!!! Ok ... I am sounding grumpy again !!!! I have this high horse I keep in my back yard and now and again I jump on board !!!!!

ITS CHRISTMAS TIME !!!!!!

I hope everyone has a great Christmas and happy new year. Please keep safe and hope to catch up with everyone in the new year. I will raise my glass to everyone and wish a happy and prosperous 2004.

Life is good ... when you cherish every moment to the "max", as if it would be your last ... because nothing stays the same and sometimes your wishes don't come true

Love and kisses

Des

The photos on the web site are from my Christmas "doo".

Thursday, 18 December, 2003 9:30pm

Hi everyone

We have had some bad news tonight. A friend of ours has had a CT scan and has a brain tumour. His name is Ian. Check out the photo. The majority of our friends know of Ian. We are all a bit blown away by this news. He only found out today. He is up at the PA tonight getting settled in. We will find out tomorrow what room he will be in. I will keep everyone updated by this site.

He is very scared because of what has happened to Mark. We will have to be a bit positive until we get the full story. Its a bit to fresh in my mind to think about going through it again.

I can't think of a "LIFE IS GOOD" quote tonight.

Maybe someone could help me out.

Take care everyone

Love and kisses

Des

Wednesday, 17 December, 2003 11pm

Hi everyone

Josh and I went to dinner at Lesters place tonight. It was wonderful. We were spoilt.

Josh doesn't stop running for one moment. Rosalie (Lester's wife) brought out the building blocks, but Josh was way to busy to sit still for one moment. He had too many cupboards to open, and too many things to pick up and rattle and throw (oh no!!!). Thankfully, nothing broke. He is so embarrassing. You would swear that I have taught him nothing at all. He just is too busy to listen. He is a true little boy. An investigator. Boy does he tire you out!!!!

We went for a drive around Wishart and looked at the Christmas lights. They were beautiful. There was one that had the owner dressed up as Santa. Josh was a bit scared but in the end he gave Santa a high five !!!! It was a lovely evening. There is nothing like strolling around the streets on a hot evening looking at the lights. It makes it really feel like Christmas.

My work has invited me to their Christmas party which is on Friday night at the Brisbane Casino. I am so looking forward to it. It will be nice to catch up with everyone. Lee is looking after Josh for me. He will have a ball with the kids.

Thanks everyone for the beautiful Christmas cards. I love getting them in the mail.

Nothing much to report except that we have decided to fix up the "Honeymoon in the Garden" chair after Christmas. I haven't heard from Robyn at the Mt Gravat Cemetary in relation to the plaques (she said she would ring when they came in). So we will do it in January and then we don't have to worry about the Christmas rush.

Hope everyone is well.

Life is good ... when you stroll around the streets looking at Christmas lights ... its real Christmassy !!!!

Love and kisses
Des

Sunday, 14 December, 2003 10:30pm

Hi everyone

Josh and I had a wonderful weekend.

On Saturday, Michelle and the kids came over for a swim. It was so hot. We just sat around under the pergola hoping for some sort of breeze. It was nice.

We had a group of friends come and play on Sunday. It was great fun. Soraya and Donald, Ray and Joe, Tracey and Tricia, Annie and Rob and the kids, and Nelle and Darren. It was great to catch up with everyone. We feasted on way too much food. We thought we were catering for an army. Well ... they thought Josh was in form (eats like an elephant) but in this heat he hasn't been eating as much. So now we have lots of left overs. I love left overs.

They also came into the kitchen and gave Mark a hug. Its nice to pick up his ashes and give him a little nurse.

Thanks guys for a great weekend.

Hope everyone had a good one. Weekend that is !!!!!!! hee hee hee !!!!

Take care.

Life is good ... when you have left overs in the fridge

Love and kisses

Des

ps I am feeling a little lost tonight. I sometimes don't know what to do without him. I have plenty to do but am having a little trouble starting. Just thought I would share.

Friday, 12 December, 2003 9:30pm

Hi everyone

Today was a great day. I visited Mt Olivet and the girls on Floor 2.

They had their Christmas decorations up and the place looked lovely. Very cheery. All the girls (including Dr James) were wearing some form of decoration. Dr James had reindeer ears, christmas socks with bells on them (he added a blue scrub shoe that surgeons wear over the top of his shoes, just lovely!!!). They were in their fine spirits as usual. I got and gave hugs all round.

I had a big chat with Denyse and she went through all the donation packets and counted the money. You all have donated a total of $1,319.25. Can you believe it !!!! How special are you guys. Denyse was so excited! Helen thinks it would be a good idea if she was sent on a Fiji holiday with the money. She said it would be good for the morale of the floor!!! She is a funny thing!!!!

Denyse is so happy. She said that Mark must have had a lot of good friends. I explained that he did. He collected them and cared for them forever. He loved his ever increasing group of friends. And now I do too!!!!

A BIG THANK YOU TO EVERYONE for your kind donations.

I had a talk with Denyse about me starting to volunteer for Mt Olivet. They have a little rule where you have to wait a year before you can go back and volunteer after losing someone up there. But, in my circumstances, I have done a lot of my mourning over the past year and a half and she believes that by say April, May next year, I should be able to go up and do some volunteer work for her. I can't wait. I really am excited about working with such wonderful, caring people.

Sorry to be going on, but you know how I feel about those guys. They cared so beautifully for my Mark, I will love them forever.

Just some sad news for anyone who knew him ... young Brett who had the room next to Mark passed away just this Monday gone. The girls said he was really ready to go. He had been at Mt Olivet nearing 5 months. He had cancer as well. He was 31 years of age.

I hope everyone is well.

Life is good ... when you learn something new every day

Love and kisses

Des

Wednesday, 10 December, 2003 10:30pm

Hi everyone

We had a wonderful day today. We were never home. Such social butterflies. We spent the morning with Aunty Lee, then with Jenny and Amy for lunch, then with Sandy and Carl for dinner. I think we will stop at home tomorrow. Poor Joshie did well for sleeping in the car and getting in and out all day. He's a good boy!

It was a great day.

I have put a photo of Mark's chair on the site. It is beautiful. I have taken the measurements as well and passed this on to Mt Olivet. I will be speaking with Denyse on Friday morning to arrange to have some concrete pads put under the chair. It will also need to be bolted down so it won't be stolen.

It is very exciting having this come together. I talked about it but I never expected it to really happen.

Its funny, but if you would have asked me 2 years ago if I would be in my position now, I would have laughed at you. Its funny how life can take a spin and turn you completely around.

Never take a day of this precious life for granted. Make the most of everything. Enjoy everything. Don't procrastinate. Don't waste time deciding, just do it!!!

Ok, I have that off my chest now, I needed to lecture, I will probably do it again but at the moment it feels good to tell you all not to waste a moment.

Hope you are all well.

Life is good ... when you have no regrets.

Love and kisses

Des

Monday, 8 December, 2003 9pm

Hi everyone

Today was productive.

I have organised to have Mark's cameo and plaque done up at the Mt Gravatt Cemetary. It will probably take about 3 weeks to be done.

I also organised for 2 more plaques to be made. One that reads:

"Honeymoon in the garden"
In loving memory of Mark Sorensen
08.09.1960 - 19.11.2003

and the other to read:

A gift from
Dwayne & Kerri Hogan

They will be ready in about a week and a half. They will be screwed into the chair. They are proper bronze and will last as long as the chair.

I am really excited about this. The chair is amazing and the plaques will look really good attached to it. Once again there are no words to thank Dwayne and Kerri enough.

I have made an appointment to go to Mt Olivet this Friday. I discussed with Denyse the possibility of me starting volunteer work next April, once I have settled into work. I start work the week of 5 April 2004.

I will be in Melbourne for approximately 1 month (the whole of March) which will include the wedding of Steve and Ashley. Then back a week or so and then starting work. I feel nervous already. Its been 2 years since I have worked. I will have to blow some cobwebs away.

I am in organisation mode. It feels good to have some control over my life. I lost all control when it came to Mark's illness but at least now I can take a little control and direct Josh and I into the future. I am feeling confident and strong. We will be ok.

Thank you to everyone for the loving care you have all given my family over the past year and a half. I know it has been difficult for everyone. It has been a long journey for everyone. I feel like breaking into song "Its a long and winding road ... ".

I will get a photo of the chair tomorrow (hopefully) and put it on the site. Its beautiful!!!

Hope everyone is well.

Life is good ... when you eat chocolate !!!!!!

Love and kisses
Des

Sunday, 7 December, 2003 9pm

Hi everyone

All is good in the Sorensen household.

We are getting over our sicknesses and are getting back on the road to recovery.

Over the weekend, Josh went to his kindy's Christmas party but fell asleep 20 minutes before Santa got there and there was no waking him up. Today Soraya and I took Josh to Carindale and he got to sit on Santa's lap and have his photo taken (photo on site). He wasn't too keen and there was no way he was going to crack a smile.

Soraya took me to pick out Mark's chair from Kerri and Dwayne's shop. It is a beautiful shop at Carindale. It is at the back on the other side of the round-a-bout from Finn McCools. It has wonderful outdoor furniture and all sorts of other stuff. Kerri helped us pick out a chair that will withstand the weather and the test of time. It is absolutely beautiful. Now I just have to get the plaques done and then Kerri and Dwayne will have it sent directly to Mt Olivet. They are truly beautiful people.

I am calling Mt Olivet tomorrow (Monday) to make another appointment to take up the donations. I am looking forward to going up there. I have a real connection to the nurses who looked after Mark. I just want to hug them all the time.

Did everyone read Kerri's (Kerri Corcoran) entry in the guestbook. It is so wonderful. I believe and feel in my heart of hearts that this is wholly true. I know Mark will be ok.

If anyone has any more special moments, please share them with everyone. Soraya is going to share hers.

I hope everyone is ok.

Life is good ... when you can share special moments and share some tears as well

Love to everyone

Des

Thursday, 4 December, 2003 10pm

Hi everyone

I had a wonderful visit from Des and Tanya from work tonight. They came bearing gifts. They gave me money that had been given by everyone at work. Its a lot of money. I am so moved by this gesture. I don't know how to say thank you except to say that I have already decided to use this money to pay for my flight to Melbourne in March. I am so looking forward to my March visit to Melbourne as it is for a family wedding. Our family needs some joy and it will come from this wedding. Thank you so much everyone from work for this beautiful gift.

Once again I have to say that I am in awe of everyone I know. So giving of everything. So caring. I am at a loss for words ... only joking !!!!!! But what I am at a loss for is how to say thanks.

I have placed some photos of Des, Tanya and Josh on the site. They are cute !!!!

I am feeling a lot better tonight. My cough isn't too bad.

Hope you are all well.

Life is good ... when you are tucked up in your own bed ...

Love

Des

Wednesday, December 3, 2003 8:30pm

Hi everyone

I am feeling a lot better now. The gastro has gone !!!!! I just have a hacking cough !!!!! Its starting to get better too!!!!

I have had a couple of tough days, thinking that I didn't want to go on. I didn't think I could cope being a single mum to Joshie. I was feeling pretty sad and sorry for myself. But it was only the sickness. I am feeling a lot stronger today. Its funny what your health does to you. When you are feeling good, with no headaches or anything, you are on top of the world.

My sister came over today and we had a great day. We cleaned out my fridge and did a huge shop to fill it up again. We also did a little christmas shopping which was fun.

I also received a beautiful bunch of flowers from my work buddies. I have known these people for a long time now. My good friends. I have put a picture on the site. They stand about 3 foot high. My house now seems a little too small!!!!!

I received beautiful flowers when Mark first passed away which I neglected to thank everyone for. I would like to apologise and say that they truly brightened up our house.

I had made an appointment with Mt Olivet for the Monday gone but was too sick and had to cancel. I will make another appointment for next Monday. I am going to personally deliver all the envelopes that were collected on the day of Mark's funeral. I didn't want them to be lost or to go to the wrong people. I will let you know how that meeting goes.

I have also been given a beautiful gift from a co-worker. Kerri and her husband Dwayne have donated the chair that is going to be placed in the garden at Mt Olivet. Soraya is going to pick me up this Sunday and we are going to pick it up. I am so excited. Kerri and Dwayne's shop is the Outdoor Furniture Specialists shop at Carindale.

I have truly been blessed. I can't begin to thank people. And to me, a thank you does not seem adequate. You all have no idea how much you mean to me. The things that you have all done for me and Mark, I cannot begin to thank you all for. Please just know that I am in awe of the kindness that has been spared to me and Joshie.

I must go, I tend to ramble on.

Life is good ... when you can dance like nobody is watching !!!!!!

Love

Des

Tuesday 2 December 2003 3:30pm

Hi everyone

Sorry I haven't posted for a while but I have been sick with gastro. It hit me on the weekend and I have been wiped out for a couple of days.

I am starting to feel a bit better now. Apparently its going around and I just got lucky.

No real news to report. Josh is good. We are going along fine.

I heard today that Alex won the Revlon award for "Best Manager of the year". I might have the name wrong a bit but thats basically what it is. CONGRATULATIONS AL !!!!!

Hope everyone is well.

Life is good ... when someone loves you just as you are

Love and kisses

Des

Friday 28 November 2003 10:15am

Hi everyone

Josh is at kindy today and my car is in for a service. I have the washing on and life seems pretty normal.

I have Mark sitting in the kitchen with me at the moment. I haven't made room for him in the cupboard yet.

To some of you this sounds strange, but Mark and I discussed it. He didn't want to be in a pretty urn and placed on the mantel, as sooner or later we would be putting him under his beautiful stone.

I just want to keep him with me for awhile. The family probably won't be back up from Melbourne for another couple of years, so he will have to wait until then.

I am quite happy to have him with me. I look at his red velvet bag all the time, it makes me smile. He wouldn't like red velvet! Well ... Alex says he might have !!!!!

Christmas is just around the corner. Josh and I will be going to my sister's house and celebrating with her family. I am looking forward to that.

Hope everyone is well.

Life is good ... when you have a piping hot cup of tea made for you !!!!! Oh yes ... at the moment ... better than sex !!!!!

Love
Des

Wednesday 26 November 2003 9:30pm

Hi everyone

Yesterday, Alex and I went to Logan Funerals and picked up Mark. It was a little hard at first but we overcame our apprehension.

I asked if he was heavy and Michelle from Logan Funerals said "Well ... pick him up and see!!!".

I cried and then I got the courage and picked him up. He was a not too heavy ... but he felt good and solid.

We went back to Alex's and had a couple of wines. Some of the Mexican's bad habits have rubbed off on me.

I know this must sound strange but I am glad he is now at home. I know that Mark's life force left a long time ago but it is something solid that I can touch. I will keep him for a year or two and then when Cherie and the family can make it up again we will have a quiet ceremony to place Mark's ashes under his beautiful stone.

I will organise to have his plaque and cameo done soon.

I have had a funny couple of days. One minute I am laughing, the next minute I am yelling and then I cry. I will slowly get back into a routine and then I will start to feel like my life does not revolve around death.

Josh is settling into Kindy again and his little xmas party is coming up soon. That will be fun.

I have Mark's cousin's wedding in March which is being held in Melbourne. I am looking forward to that. Then after that I will probably start work. I will have to brush up on my typing as I think my speed as slackened off a bit.

I hope everyone is well.

Life is good ... when families get together and laugh and have a good time

Love

Des

Monday 24 November 2003 9:45am

Cherie and Larry and I had a great day on Sunday cleaning and planting around Mark's stone.

All the family have left now and Josh and I are on our own. It is good and bad at the same time. Josh went to Kindy this morning with a couple of tears but soon settled down.

I can't wait to clean the house and get myself a little bit organised. It will be good therapy.

Take care

Life is good ... when you find things in your tuppaware cupboard!!!!!

Love to everyone

Des

Friday 21 November 2003 10:30pm

Hi everyone

Mark would have loved his day today. I believe he was there with me otherwise I wouldn't have been able to stand up and say the words I did.

It was hard to see him laid out in a coffin but I had to remember that it really wasn't him. His spirit had left ages ago. I stood by his side while our friends came up to see him. He had his hat on as well. I think he would have been comfy with his hat on. He has been wearing them for so long now.

I would like to say thank you very much for all the wonderful donations we have been given for Floor 2, Palliative Care, Mt Olivet Hospital. I will probably go up in about 2 weeks. Some of the girls came along today and it was so special. They made me cry and I had been doing realy well.

Thanks everyone for everything. The food was wonderful and we had lots to choose from.

There have been photos taken but not by me so I will have to wait for some to be sent to me before I upload to the web. Thanks

I am so tired that I can't type anymore tonight. I will give another update tomorrow.

Take care everyone

Life is good ... when you can laugh out loud

Love to you all

Des

Thursday 20 November 2003 12 noon

Hi everyone

Our household is full of relatives and friends. Its a small house !!!!! It is wonderful to have everyone here. We are coping pretty good but maybe its because we are busy preparing a huge celebration of Mark's life. Cherie and I were coming home this morning in the car and had a little moment. We felt we had to go to see Mark up at the hospital but remembered that we don't have to go back there to see him. We remembered that he was with us in the car telling us how to drive!!!! He was always a back seat driver.

Cherie and I went to Bunnings to buy a lock for the fridge because some little boy won't leave the door alone (give me food!!!). AND of course we came out with more than we went for. We looked at some plants to plant near Mark. Cherie wanted to put something nice next to him before she left. While we were looking the assistant showed us a plant called "Blue Eyes". I had to have it! Mark had such beautiful blue eyes. Cherie picked dwarf agapanthas which are a similar blue. We will go up on Saturday and plant them.

If you are coming to join us at the party after the ceremony, would it be possible to bring along a chair or two as we are hoping a large group will come back to Mark's home to party on !!!!

The service starts at 11:30, but there will be a viewing from 11am to 11:30am for those who would like to say a last goodbye to Mark. I invite you all to come up and stand by my side.

Hope you are all well in the real world

Life is good ... the generosity we have encountered is mind blowing and has restored faith in humanity ... thank you

Love

Des

Wednesday, 19 November 2003 9am

Good morning everyone

Cherie, Liam and I have come home this morning and won't be going back to Mt Olivet.

Mark passed away this morning at 2:25am.

It was horrible to lose him but such a relief to see his face out of pain. He was so serene.

We have had Father Brian praying for Mark this morning and it was wonderful to spend time with him. He came to us as soon as Mark passed away. He has been a wonderful support for Cherie and I up at the Hospital.

Mark's funeral will be held this Friday at 11:30am at the Mt Gravatt Crematorium up at the Mt Gravat Cemetary. It will be held in the Chapel at the Cemetary. Then back to our place for a "party". Mark didn't want a "wake" as such. He wanted people to be happy and to be able to celebrate his life. That is also want we want to do.

I also want to say that I will never be able to thank the Mt Olivet staff for the love and support they gave us through this ordeal. Floor 2, palliative care, is a magic place. The people who grace that floor are sincere, loving, caring, honest, nice, funny, a joy to have them looking after your loved one. I honestly cannot say enough about this group of individuals. They are a true breed of giants in the field of palliative care. They could not do enough for Mark and his entourage. I intend to go back and be a volunteer when I can. I just want to spend time with the people who made my hellish nightmare into wonderful memories. They let us live there and looked out for us. We were offered food and asked if we needed anything to let them know. They counselled us and made sure we weren't going around the twist. They also became like family, and that is truly how I feel.

I would like to ask that if you were going to send flowers could you please change that to a donation to FLOOR 2, PALLIATIVE CARE, MT OLIVET HOSPITAL. I would like to also say that Mark could not have been in better care.

My little Josh is with my sister and she will bring him home at lunch. We will be a family again at home. I haven't been his mum for such a long time. I have had to count on my sister's and friend's generosity as I simply have not had the mind to be his mum lately. I had to concentrate on Mark. I truly had no choice. That is over now and Josh will be my world.

Our world is a little topsy turvy at the moment but it won't take long to settle down (I hope).

I would like to thank everyone for their love and support over the past 15 months of Mark's disease. Everyone has given us so much.

I intend to keep the journal for a little while as I have a little bit to say about Mark's disease. I won't go into it today, nor tomorrow, but soon. It was not what I expected and intend to let you know the details, once I can share them with you. It is a cruel disease, I hope I don't have to see it again in my life time.

But enough of that doom and gloom.

Please take care.

Life is good ... when you can shower with blistering hot water for as long as you like and sing as loud as you want

Love

Des

Tuesday, November 18, 2003 3:59 AM CST

Hi All, I wasn't going to update today but as I have seen so many people are looking in at this website that I feel I need to say something even it it isn't much,
I spoke to Cherie earlier & she said that there are not a lot of changes, Marks breathing is changing a little, Becoming a bit more of an effort & a bit nosier, which is another sign of the end....
But that old Phar Lap just doesn't want to give in!!!!
The girls seem to be managing as well as can be expected, Josh has been up visiting today again & I know that it has made both him & Desleigh a lot happier spending a bit of time with each other, He has gone back to his wonderful Aunty Lee's for the rest of the week.

Well Guys that is all for another day Keep up all the good thoughts & prayers, because they all need our love & support.

Trying to keep up with Desleighs tradition,

LIFE IS GOOD

When Phar Lap is comfortable & resting comfortably...

Bye Michelle

Monday, November 17, 2003 3:39 AM CST

Hi All, Just updating again for Des,I went up & saw Mark yesterday, He was awake when I arrived so sat with him for a while, I couldn't believe the change in him, Gave me quite a shock when I first saw him as I hadn't seen him until the day he went to Mt Ollivet 4 wks ago.
He is looking very very thin & frail, I had a bit of a cry & big hugs with Desleigh, I think I was in shock...
Des & I had a good talk & they seem to think that the end is very near, (But in Marks books that could be a while), She has started calling him PHAR LAP as his big strong heart does not want to give in. The nurses have said that they can see some tell tale signs of the end ( His fingers & hands are turning blue also around his mouth & his ears,Also his breathing has become very rapid & his heart is trying to work really hard to keep the rest of him going. Hence the PHARLAP) so it's just waiting again, I think they are all hoping that the end will be fairly quick as it is very distressing seeing Mark like this, It is well & truly time for him to be at peace.
Josh went up today to spend some time with his Mummy & Daddy
& he really needed to see them & I know that Des really needed to see her boy & Marky would have felt his presence there, How could you not know that Josh is around....
Cherie has just dropped josh off here & he is sound asleep in bed..

Well eveybody keep up all the good thoughts & prayers,

And in the words of Desleigh..


LIFE IS GOOD,
When you get to spend a few hrs with your little boy!!!

Bye all Michelle

Saturday, November 15, 2003 1:10 AM CST

Hi All Desleigh has asked me to do another update for you all.
I spoke to her about an hr ago, she said that Mark is alittle bit worse today, He was awake while I was talking to Des,& the nurses were giving him a bath & freshing him up..The girls are doing well, & are just taking every moment as it comes.
Take care all & stay well...

Here is a line from Des ,

LIFE IS GOOD: When you have 2 beautiful nurses giving you a bed bath..

Bye all Michelle

Friday, November 14, 2003 4:41 AM CST

Hi everybody, Desleigh has asked me to update the page for her so as you will all know what is going on...
Things haven't been going to well for Mark after his last big seizure. Desleigh's wonderful sister Lee has got Josh & Desleigh & Cherie have moved into Mt Olivet to have a bedside vigil with Mark..
Father Bourke came & gave Mark his last rites today as they don't expect him to live much longer..
Desleigh informs me that he is comfortable & pain free & that is all we can hope for. Both Desleigh & Cherie seem to be doing well although I know that Des is having some very hard times. I can not imagine what she is going through, I admire them all for being so brave & facing up to this terrible time, I know that all your thoughts & prayers are with them & they need them now more than ever....
I will keep you all informed as I get more updates from Des.

So from the words of Desleigh herself

LIFE IS GOOD...
WHEN EVERYBODIES GOOD THOUGHTS WISHES &
PRAYERS ARE WITH YOU......

Take Care All
Michelle.

Tuesday, 11 November 2003 3pm

Hi everyone

Mark had a very rough morning. He had one hell of a seizure around 4:45am and when we left him this afternoon around 2pm he was resting peacefully.

He can't really move his left side any more and he has a horrible cough starting up. He is being kept under careful watch.

I am not sure he will pick up after this one. His eyes look like he is constantly having a seizure. The nurses assure us he is in no pain and that is the way we want it.

I will be going up again to spend the night and will come back home tomorrow morning to spend some time with Josh.

I will update the site again tomorrow.

Hope you are all well.

Life is good ... when you can hold onto wonderful memories

Love

Des

Monday, 10 November, 2003 6:30pm

Hi everyone

I have finally uploaded the photos of Mark's and my renewal of our wedding vows. There are more photos on the link which is located at the bottom of this page. Please go there and have a gander. It was beautiful.

Mark slept all day yesterday and today he sat up every now and then and looked around. He even found some strenght to have some lunch. He was never able to knock back peach pie and custard.

We take every day as it comes. He is a little sadder today. A little aloof !!!! He can't speak much any more but I tell you ... those eyebrows speak a thousand words !!!!

They have increased the morphine in his pump and it seems to have settled his breakthroughs of pain which were coming between the hours of 11pm and 5am. In the last 2 days he has only had 2 breakthroughs which is wonderful.

We hope everyone is doing okay.

Life is good ... when you can hear your kids in the other room having a great time laughing and screaming and having a ball !!!!!

Love to everyone

Des

Saturday, 8 November, 2003 8:30pm

Hi everyone

Sorry I haven't posted for a while but I have had my turn at staying up at the hospital with Mark. I have been up there since Thursday. Cherie will go up there tonight and have a sleep over with Mark.

We have had up and down days. One day he will be sleeping and hardly opens his eyes. Has no water or food and has pain at night. The next day he sits up and has some food (he mostly eats soup, if he tries other foods he starts coughing and coughing). He tries to talk and gets cranky when we don't understand.

Friday was a very special day. It was our 8th wedding anniversary. We wanted to renew our vows when we got to 10 years, but that simply wouldn't have happened. Cherie came up with the idea that we renew our vows at the hospital, then and there.

It was beautiful. We asked Father Brian Burke from the hospital chappel if he would come up and perform the renewal of vows at Mark's bedside. He said he would be honoured. It was so wonderful. Mark was so bright. He was sitting up and smiling his crooked smile. His eyes were even smiling. Have I said that it was wonderful.

When I think of it I start to get teary!!! It will be one of finest memories I have. And I can tell you, they are hard to come by at the moment.

The nurses attended as well. They took photos and so did we. I have left the camera up at the hospital but will bring it home tomorrow and download some photos onto the site.

We had a little honeymoon down in the garden with Cherie and Liam. We took Mark down there in a huge chair (lounge chair come wheelchair). He was so happy to be in the sun in the garden.

I danced and sang for him which made him roll his eyes and sort of laugh!! I danced to the tune of "Running Bear". Well ... you see ... we were on the banks of a river and I thought the song appropriate because it was a love song.

We had the best honeymoon in the garden. We are going to donate a garden chair and put a plaque on it ("Honeymoon in the Garden" in memory of Mark Sorensen).

I will download all the photos tomorrow. They are great.

Hope everyone is well.

Life is good ... when love is in the air !!!!

Take care

Love and kisses

Des

Tuesday, 4 November , 2003 10pm

Hi everyone

Sorry I haven't updated for a while. We have been a bit hectic and a little tired.

The kids still have runny noses but are feeling a little better from our fun day today.

Cherie and I spent the afternoon at SouthBank. We had iced coffees with heaps of cream ... mmmmmmm!!!!!.... (the kids were asleep in their prams) and then we gave them fish and chips and then we played on the slippery slides and see-saws!!! Great fun! We walked to Southbank from Mt Olivet and walked back to the City via the footbridge and caught the ferry over from the Pier. It was tiring but well worth the fresh air. It was great to be happy and laughing without having the guilt. We thought Mark would have loved the day if he could have been there with us.

Cherie has gone back up to the hospital tonight to sleep in Mark's room. We have got this great little bed set up in his room. Its good for afternoon naps as well !!!!!

Mark has been really awake lately. Its a bit spooky. The only thing is his memory is starting to go. He doesn't really remember what he has just done. Maybe the tumour is not as swollen as usual ??? Who knows. The doctors can't tell us as they really don't know what is going to happen. We will just keep riding the BT express ('brain tumour express') and see what happens.

Thank you everyone for all the love and support you have given us. We really appreciate it.

Cherie won her sweep ... $25 !!!! She's excited.

Life is good ... when there is no guilt in having fun

Please everyone take care

Love

Des

Sunday 2nd November 2003 9am

Good morning everyone

Cherie stayed with Mark last night. He had quite a restful night. He just tosses and turns a little. At 6am this morning he had pain and nausea and was given some pain relief and is now sleeping comfortably.

Cherie will be home soon to do the swap and I will stay with him all day.

We had a really nice afternoon yesterday. I took some old music tapes up to him and we had a listen to some of his music. We had a tape that he did up for us while we were in South Africa. It always brings back great memories. He listened to the whole tape, both sides. It was really nice to see his face full of memories. I did some groovy dancing for him but he just rolled his eyes and looked to see if the door to his room was closed ???

Josh stayed with his Aunty Lee again last night and had a great night. Liam had a good night with me and we watched Shrek this morning and did some more groovy dancing.

I will update again tonight if I can get the chance.

Take care everyone.

Life is good ... when you can dance and sing like there is no one looking or listening !!!!

Love

Des

Saturday 1st November 2pm

Hi everyone

Yesterday Mark had a very wakeful afternoon. He and I chatted (one way conversation ... but thats not different from the old days!!!!). He ate his lunch and his dinner and was very contented. We took some great photos.

This morning he wouldn't wake up. He also didn't want to eat anything. It could be that he is completely exhausted from a night with his wife (snoring!!!!).

Cherie is going to sleep up there tonight and I will go back there today and spend the afternoon with him.

Mark has requested that only family visit him now as he doesn't have much strength left and would like to spend it with his family.

He was very pleased to see Josh this morning. He actually woke right up and tried to hold Josh's hand (I have a photo of that). Then Mark just went back to sleep.

Cherie has a tummy bug, Liam has a chesty cough and Josh has hand, foot & mouth. What a great team we make!!!!

Take care everyone.

Life is good ... because Mark is still with us.

Love to all

Des

Thursday, 30 October, 2003 10pm

Hi everyone

We had a wierd day today. It feels very surreal. I feel like I haven't seen Mark for a couple of days but I was up there this morning. Cherie was up there with him this afternoon. I had the most amazing day, I was so strong today. I felt it was my turn to say goodbye. I didn't really want to say goodbye so I just said that it was ok for him to go because Josh and I would be ok. We are going to be alright in the future. We have many friends and family that will look after us. He nodded and went back to sleep.

I am supposed to be going up there tonight but Alex has come over and there has been a bottle of wine opened and we are sitting in here doing the web site giggling like little girls, I have just upturned the bottle and emptied it. Its nice.

Cherie had a great day today even though there were lots of tears. She had some of the most amazing moments with Mark. I happened to catch one of them. I was on the phone with Cherie when Mark sought of turned over and opened his eyes for a moment. Cherie ran over and held his hand and kissed him and told him that she loved him and cuddle him. I could here everything. It was a beautiful moment.

I think I might not go up there tonight but instead I will go up early in the morning. Cherie and Alex just said that Mark would probably ring the buzzer and ask that the nurses take me away because of my beautiful snoring!!!!!

Mark is at a stage now that he doesn't eat or drink. He is nearly always asleep. He can hear you though, when he is semi-conscious. Don't fart aloud and think you are alone in that room with him !!!!!!!! You will find him smiling !!!!!

If you need to visit Mark please keep your visit short. He tires quickly. Don't forget to sign his visitor's book. We read it out to him.

Life is good ... When you have Mt Olivet nurses caring for your loved one. We are so lucky !!!!!!!

Love and kisses
Des

Wednesday, 29 October, 2003 11:30pm

Hi everyone

Cherie and I have had a fun day today. We pampered Mark with a foot scrub and massage. He smelt like a big peppermint at the end. He slept through the whole thing. His doctor reassured us that on a subconscious level he would have known that we did it. We had a lot of fun anyway. We also told him that we painted his toe nails red, but we had put socks on his feet, so he still doesn't know if we were kidding or not!!!!! We are a little cruel!!!!

Mark is sleeping more often and for longer. He is tiring very quickly. He is still having a bit of pain and is requiring a lot more management.

Due to his increased tiredness Mark has requested that visits be limited. If you wish to visit Mark could you please check with me or Cherie first to check whether or not he is up to visitors.

I also have a little boy with hand, foot and mouth !!!! Can you believe it !!!! And he has probably given it to Liam as Liam has been unwell today too!!! ... come on ... bring it on ... Cherie and I can take it !!!!!

We are hanging in there.

We hope you are all well.

Life is good ... when you can share your pain

Love
Des

Tuesday 28 October 2003 5am

Good morning everyone

Mark is settling in well at Mt Olivet. The nurses there are so caring and wonderful. They put my mind at ease.

Mark doesn't suffer any pain now. As soon as there is a niggle he is given relief. That is how it should be.

Mark is having quiet times in the afternoon. Please limit the visits after lunch and before 4pm. He sleeps very soundly between these hours.

I have Mark's sister Cherie and her little boy Liam with me and she will stay for as long as needed.

I love everyone so much for your kindness. You have shown me so much love, support and strength. I will not make it through the times ahead without your support. I appreciate everything you have all done for me.

Some painfull truth ... I am sick in my stomach at what is about to happen. Our loss will be all too great. Mark is my all consuming passion. I live for him.

Some more truth, not so painfull ... I am also very strong and determined to see that Mark has everything he needs or desires. He will never see pain again. He will only be surround by love.

Life is good ... when Mark eats all his dinner and falls into a sound sleep ... just like a wee baby !!!

Love to you all

ps Don't be scared to cry in front of me. I cry all the time.

Sunday, 26 October, 2003 10:30pm

Hi everyone

We have had a terrible weekend. Mark has had chronic pain since Saturday morning and Mt Olivet home care nurses have been helping me keep him relatively pain free and comfortable at home until this morning.

Mark's pain was untreatable by me and Mt Olivet organised to have a CAT scan done at the Royal this morning. It was very bad news. The tumour has grown a lot in a short span of time. The prognosis is that Mark will probably not live that much longer. He will not be coming home. That is what they have worked out by looking at his last MRI. There has been such a huge growth of the tumour. That is why I could not control his pain this morning. It was the worst day of my life. I couldn't help Mark ease the pain.

The Royal settled his pain and after the CAT scan was transferred directly to Mt Olivet. He is now very comfortable and free from pain. I just rang them and they said he was sleeping comfortably.

I probably was in a little denial about this ever happening. Mark was so strong right up until this weekend. He has really tried hard to fight this thing. But there isn't anything anyone can do for him except keep him in complete comfort.

Mark's sister Cherie will be arriving tomorrow afternoon and staying with us until after the funeral.

I am so proud of him.

Thank you so much everyone for your well wishes. I will keep printing off your entries and reading them to Mark. He loves me to read them out to him.

I will try and update as much as possible.

Life is good ... when your loved one isn't in pain

Love and kisses

Desleigh

Friday, 24 October 2003 10am

Hi everyone

I have been having trouble logging on to the internet, that is why I don't update every day. One day I can connect straight away and the next day I can't connect at all.

Mark is ok health wise. He isn't having too many headaches, just occasionally he has one, but its not a nasty one. He now and again doesn't feel like eating but more often than not he will eat what I put in front of him. He can walk but not without constant support. He is more often in the wheelchair now. I feel relaxed when he lets me do the driving (Desleigh "Brockie" Sorensen).

I would like to thank Kerrie (and no, you won't kill him with your cooking), Jenny, Lee, Sandy, Michelle and everyone who has cooked for us and given us food packages. You have no idea how much I appreciate the time saved. Also, you all happen to be wonderful cooks!!! Thanks again.

Josh is again in kindy today. He was a little "mummy" when I dropped him off but Miss Pam picked him up and took him to see the other kids in the playground. She is wonderful. He loves kindy.

You won't believe what happened to us yesterday. My sister Lee took Josh overnight and brought him back yesterday. He played in his little pool and ate heaps of watermelon yesterday afternoon and was really tired around 4:30pm. He fell asleep in my lap while we were watching cartoons. He then slept right through the night until 6:30 this morning. Can you believe that ???? Joshy going to bed without a bottle or dinner !!!! Unbelievable!!!!! I kept checking on him, touching his forehead, peering into his nappy, but he didn't stir. Mark and I had a peaceful dinner and we went to bed early with no screaming or little elephants running around after they have been put to bed.

Mark is getting very bored with being at home. The only problem is he sleeps for the majority of the day. What I am going to try and do is get him out for a drive while he is awake. Just short journeys, maybe up to Mt Cootha for a coffee, or up to Garden City for a look at K-Mart.

Mark would like to thank you for the beautiful letters and cards he has been receiving. They mean a lot to him. Now that he doesn't see a lot of you all the time it is nice to receive the correspondence. Thanks again.

We are doing ok.

Life is good ... when you have a full tank of petrol and a full packet of cigarettes (hang on, I don't smoke) ... when you have a full tank of petrol and 42 rolls of toilet paper sitting in the loo!!!

Hope everyone is well.

Love and kisses

Des

Tuesday 21 October 2003 11:50am

Hi everyone

Mark is not doing too well at the moment. His speech is very bad. He cannot get out what he wants to say. He knows what the words are but cannot say them. He is very frustrated. We knew this was coming but it doesn't make it any easier. I have told him to use sign language but to be nice and not to give me the back to front international peace signal. He is also finding it very difficult to move. We are using his wheelchair in the house more often now and it makes it a lot easier for him to get around.

This is Josh's second day at day care. He cried a little this morning when I left him but he soon got over it. I rang them about an hour after I left him and he had settled ok. He was sitting on one of the teacher's laps having a story read to him. The director told me that 'hand, foot and mouth' disease is going around and so is 'chikenpox'. Great!!!! I think it is inevitable that Josh gets something or everything. We will deal with that when the time comes.

We are ok.

Life is good ... when you get a carpark close to centrelink !!!!!

Love to everyone

Regards

Desleigh

Saturday, October 18, 2003 9pm

Hi everyone

Mark and I got out and about today. We unloaded Josh to Michelle (friend across the road) and took off for a shopping journey. It was great. We have got it down pat. I wiz around the back, get the wheelchair out of the boot, bring it around to Mark and he is ready to hop in. I am even learning to bend my knees and not rely on my back. Whoooaa!!!!!

We had a good morning. Mark slept when we got home. He was curled up like a little baby. Cute little baby!!!! We then had Mark's friend Sandy bring us dinner. We are so spoilt. Sandy made us a Musaka (??spelling??). Boy oh boy was it yummy!!!!

Thanks Sandy.

Mark was a little worse tonight. We are trying to get his tablets taken at the right time. A couple of days ago we gave him the tablets at the table and before we knew it he was starting to fall asleep. I was lucky that Leicester was here to help me get Mark to bed. After that we started to give him the tablets later, once he got to bed. But now I think that it is leaving it too late. Tonight he could barely speak to me and it was only 7:30. I quickly got his tablets and gave them to him and put him to bed.

He is ok now and fast asleep. Josh is also asleep. Hooray!!!!!!

Here is a poem that our friend Barbara sent to us:


IF I KNEW~~

If I knew it would be the last time that I'd see you fall asleep, I would tuck you in more tightly and pray the Lord, your soul to keep.

If I knew it would be the last time that I see you walk out the door, I would give you a hug and kiss and call you back for one more.

If I knew it would be the last time I'd hear your voice lifted up in praise, I would video tape each action and word, so I could play them back day after day.

If I knew it would be the last time, I could spare an extra minute or two to stop and say "I love you", instead of assuming you would KNOW I do.

If I knew it would be the last time I would be there to share your day, well I'm sure you'll have so many more, so I can let just this one slip away. For surely there's always tomorrow to make up for an oversight, and we always get a second chance to make everything right. There will always be another day to say our "I love you's", and certainly there's another chance to say our "Anything I can do's?"

But just in case I might be wrong, and today is all I get, I'd like to say how much I love you and I hope we never forget tomorrow is not promised to anyone, young or old alike, and today may be the last chance you get to hold your loved one tight.

So if you're waiting for tomorrow, why not do it today? For if tomorrow never comes, you'll surely regret the day, that you didn't take that extra time for a smile, a hug, or a kiss and you were too busy to grant someone, what turned out to be their one last wish.

So hold your loved ones close today, whisper in their ear. Tell them how much you love them and that you'll always hold them dear.

Take time to say "I'm sorry," "please forgive me," "thank you" or "it's okay". And if tomorrow never comes, you'll have no regrets about today.


~by Norma Burnett, Steelton,PA~


I go in every night to Mark and tuck him in and tell him I love him. I do the same with Josh.

Life is good ... (this quote is from Kerry) WHERE ERE YOU BE, LET YOUR WIND BREAK FREE

Hope all is well

Love and Kisses

Des

Friday 17 October 2003

Hi everyone

Mark is not doing too well. He cannot walk much anymore. He can only just get from the wheelchair to the loungechair but he cannot get around more than that. He is so weak now even his left side is getting worse. His speech is also worse. He is having more trouble thinking of words as well as trying to say them. Mark is very tired of it all.

We have just organised for Josh to go to day care so I can spend more quality time with Mark. Josh will go for 3 days a week. He will probably love it so much he won't want to come home. He is such a ball of energy. It will be me that cries when he goes for his first day.

Josh and I have a cold, runny noses and sore throats but other than that we are generally well.

Hope you are all well.

Life is good ... when you can call upon the wonderful memories and have a good laugh (when your memory doesn't fail)

Love to all

Desleigh

Tuesday, 14 October 2003 2pm

Hi everyone

We have just been to the airport to see Cherie and family off. We will miss them dreadfully. Josh won't know whats hit him when he hears the silence. The boys are both asleep now and as soon as Josh wakes I bet he goes running through the house looking for Cherie's boys, especially Liam. He loves his cousin Liam.

We got some great photos so have a look at the link as well. There are more there.

Mark is going to be fitted with a foot brace thing. It will help him to not drag his bad foot. It will mean its easier for him to walk. We are going to get that done tomorrow at 10am. I am looking forward to it. Anything to make Mark's life a little easier.

He is finding it more and more difficult these days. He is very tired with the drugs and tumour and spends his waking time just watching Josh run around causing havoc.

We hope all is well with everyone. I know life doesn't stop just because your loved one is dying, but sometimes to us we get lost in our world. We try not to, but sometimes we get stuck there. Please know that we are thinking of everyone and hope everything is ok.

Life is good ... when Mark laughs really hard, now that is worth the wait

Take care everyone

Love and kisses

Des

Friday, 10 October, 2003 9pm

Hi everyone

Sorry for the delay in this posting but we had a bit of a set back recently.

We went to visit Mark's sister Cherie and her family down at Coolangatta and decided to stay the night. We left home on Wednesday morning early and had quite a nice day. But at 5pm Mark had a very bad seizure and was taken to Tweed Heads Hospital and was kept there over night and not released until 4pm Thursday. He also had a small seizure while at the hospital, during the night.

The seizure has damaged Mark's speech a little and made his right side a little bit weaker than it was, if thats possible. He also slept a lot today which is probably due to some damage from the seizure as well. He has had his medicines increased a little and that might add to his tiredness.

We are not going to go away again due to Mark's state. He is much more relaxed being at home. Its a comfort zone for both him and me now. We have wonderful nursing staff who come to visit us from Mt Olivet. They keep an eye on both me and Mark.

This latest seizure really scared us both. Mark said he doesn't remember a lot about it. Normally he remembers everything with his seizures. I think this is part of the natural progression of the beast.

I personally have had a bad couple of days. I couldn't eat and felt sick to the stomach, probably from nerves. Today I am feeling a lot more relaxed.

Michelle, across the road, is going to come over every morning and look after Josh and give me a hand while I shower Mark. Michelle did that for us today and it worked well. Josh had the two kids, Jorja and Connor to play with and Michelle did my dishes. Excellent ..... I have left the dishes from dinner for her tonight !!!!! Only kidding !!!!

I have had my cousin Sara and Josh's granny Margaret sit with the boys today while I did some shopping. It was wonderful. The girls also brought my washing in and folded and put it away. I feel so much more relaxed tonight than I have for awhile.

Mark had a nice visit with Jacqui from Palliative Care. He had a couple of laughs with her and seemed more like himself tonight than he has for awhile.

Cherie and family will arrive back from Coolangatta on Sunday and they fly back to Melbourne on Tuesday. It will be good to have them back in the house. Josh misses the boys, especially Liam. Liam loves Josh.

Mark's sleeping patterns are changing and he sleeps in the morning as well now. Please phone ahead for a visit as I don't like to wake him once he is asleep.

Life is good ... when your little boy goes to sleep and stays in his cot

Love and kisses

Des

Tuesday, 7 October, 2003 3pm

Hi Everyone

We have had a couple of quiet days. Not doing too much. Cherie and Larry and the kids are at Coolangatta. We are going to see them tomorrow (Wednesday) to have a swim and maybe some lunch. We will get down there early. It should be great.

Mark was assessed today and will be given a walking stick to help him around. We have been shown how to lift him properly and things to improve Mark's comfort. He is a lot steadier with the walking stick. I think it will make it a lot easier and make him more confident getting around the house. We have the wheelchair for when we go out but the stick will be used in the house as he cannot really walk anywhere anymore.

I gave Mark a shave today for the first time. I only nicked him once. I told him that maybe he should grow a little goatie ?? It might save some blood. Otherwise I think I did a good job (pat myself on the back)!!!!!

I said to him I could do his legs as I am more skilled at that but he declined the offer.

Life is good ... when you are loved you can cope with a lot

Take care

Love and kisses

Des

Wednesday, 1 October, 2003 9:15pm

Hi everyone

We have more southerners with us at the moment. We have Cherie (Mark's sister) and Larry and the kids staying with us for a couple of days and then they head for the coast. After a week of glorious Coolangatta, they will come back and stay with us for a couple more days before heading back home.

I think one of the boys brought the rain with them in their suitcase, because as soon as he opened it .. it started to rain!!! Not that I am complaining, the garden needed a good hose.

Mark is doing well. He is glad to have his sister here. They have always been very close. Cherie is adorable.

We had a visit from Helen, a nurse from Mt Olivet. She was so nice. She is going to get Mark a wheelchair so he might want to go out a bit more. She also did his blood sugar levels which were 7.5 (??) and she said that that was ok. We have organised with Mark's gp to come out to home and do fortnightly home visits. He will need to have his blood's taken to keep the dilantin in check. Mark's dexamethasone has been increased so that he now takes 20mg a day. So far it has made no difference to his walking but maybe it is keeping the headaches, and other problems that he will eventually get, away for a little while longer.

Mark is also taking shark cartilage, aloe drinking gel and oxygene from BettaLife. We are hoping it will help his body be a bit stronger.

Mark can't really walk anymore. He finds it very difficult to get around. It is so sad to see him like that after being such a physically fit man.

He is otherwise just very tired and weak. We still have the curfew between 1 and 4 so that he can have a sleep.

We hope everyone is well and we send all our love to everyone.

Please take care on the roads.

Life is good - having family staying under one roof is good ... very comfortable ... very happy

Love and kisses
Des

Monday, 29 September, 2003 11pm

Hello everyone

We have been visited by many people and we have enjoyed it. I have been trying to take photos of everyone who visits so you can have a photo of Mark. I think you can copy the photo from the web site. Give it a go. Don't forget to check the link (at the bottom of this site) which holds more photos. I am going to try and update that site tonight as well, if I can stay awake.

Mark has had a groovy chair loaned to him from the Home Carers. It is brand new and he loves it. It is electric and will help him to stand up out of the chair without too much trouble. He asked me to break it in. !! He is a cheeky boy !!!!

Mark's sister Cherie will be arriving tomorrow night with her family and we are so looking forward to it. She makes me drink red wine and eat chocolate! I hope I can cope !!!

Mark is doing as well as can be expected. He struggles to get around, but at least he is still getting around. Some days he is in better spirits than others. As am I.

We are just going day to day. He hasn't had another seizure since last Tuesday which is great. He went out in the car today for the first time since last Tuesday. He just went for the drive and waited in the car with Josh.

I put Josh's name down in the day care around the corner. He is on the waiting list. I am a bit nervous about it but if he gets a spot it will give Mark and I a bit of time together. It will also give Josh some fun times with other little playmates. He might pick up some more naughty habits, other than the ones he already has !!!

Any way ... all is ok ... the boys are sleeping soundly and I am tapping away at the keys ...

Life is good ... feelings are precious, love, friendship, courage ... thank you all for sharing them with me

Love and kisses

Des

Saturday, 27 September 2003 10:45pm

Hi everyone

We have had Di and Monika (Mark's Aunty and cousin) staying with us for this past week and it has been wonderful. It was great to catch up and spend some time together.

The occupational therapists have been and have helped us with a few things. They will make it easier for Mark to get around.

We have had quite a few busy days. At one stage we had 17 people in our house. For everyone who knows our house, this was one hell of a feat !!!! Mind you, 6 of those were little kiddies!!! That was a great day. Mark just sat back and let it all happen around him. He is a good sport.

Mark is getting weaker and weaker in his right side. He said he doesn't think he can walk for much longer. He basically can't use his hand any more. He is tiring of the struggle. I think he will give up walking soon.

He said he doesn't want to travel anymore, if he can help it. It is too hard for him.

Please remember not to visit between the hours of 1 and 4pm so Mark can have quality sleep. I got out of the house today between 2 and 5 and Mark slept soundly. He said it was great. Josh and I went across the road to Michelle's house and played on the computer for a while. Josh loved running around with the kids. It was a good break and I felt relaxed as I was only across the road from Mark.

Hope everyone is well

Life is good ... just look on the bright side

ps If I am forgetting to give information that you want to know about, please let me know via email.

Thursday, 25 September, 2003 2:30pm

Hi everyone

Today we had visits from Jennifer and Jenny and Leicester. It was great to have coffee and catch up.

Also today was our first visit with the Mt Olivet Palliative care service. Pat and Georgie sat with Mark and I and talked for about 1 and 1/2 hours. It involved lots of questions and answers from both sides. It was a great meeting. Both wonderful people that Mark and I felt very comfortable with.

They explained everything. We have another team come out, OT, and will show us what to do with access to the shower, toilet, kitchen (we have four stairs that seperate Mark's room from the kitchen and shower). They also said that we should let our friends help with getting Mark organised. You all have asked if you can help and you can. Once Mark is immobile, I will need a hand to shower and toilet.

We could maybe use a roster system depending on your availability.

Mark said not to be scared, he will wear some dt's while we shower him !!!!!!

I don't think it will be long before Mark can't make it up the stairs but at the moment he is still getting up and down by himself. I get at the bottom of the stairs to cushion his fall !!!!!!!

We are still riding the roller coaster but I swear knowledge and organisation helps make us feel strong. When things are organised and set out then there is less stress.

We hope everyone is well.

Life is good ... when you have the air conditioner going 24/7 !!!!!!!

Wednesday, 24 September, 2003 10:41pm

Hi everyone

Thank you all for your support. I didn't mean to upset anyone with my emotional journal. I was very upset yesterday but today I am a lot stronger. Mark is a lot stronger too. He is still walking (just) and his face is not sooo dropped. He seemed a little brighter as well.

We are on a bit of an emotional roller coaster at the moment and we are all suffering with some tears.

I am very lucky to have all your support.

Please know that Mark and I won't be going too far from home in the future and that all visitors are welcome. I will close off visiting hours between 1pm and 4pm for his sleep but otherwise anytime is fine, just give us a call before you come so I can bake something !!!!

Di and Monika have been a tremendous support to both of us. I wouldn't have managed the last couple of days without them both.

Everyone who knows Mark knows that he is so cool with this situation. He doesn't get shitty, or upset in any way, the only emotions he shows is when someone kicks their toe ... then he laughs out loud !!!!

Monika has painted Mark's radiation mask. It looks like an alien. Again, for anyone who knows Mark, he is a sort of alien !!!!!! It looks great. We are going to hang it up in the house. It will probably give Josh nightmares.

Mark is in no pain. He doesn't suffer from any headaches. He is extremely tired and his limbs just won't work for him anymore. Please don't be worried about visiting him. He would love to see all his friends and family.

Hope you are all well.

Life is good ... to have been blessed with Josh ... wow !!!

Love and kisses
Des

Tuesday, 23 September, 2003 8:50pm

Hello everyone

We had a visit to the Royal to see Mark's doctor. It will be the last time we see him. Mark's prognosis is not good. In a matter of days he has deteriorated. He can't use his right arm. He is limping very badly and is getting weaker and weaker.

I had a bad day today. But luckily we have Mark's aunty Di and cousin Monika up from Melbourne staying with us for awhile. Colin and Alex also dropped in tonight and we had a cook up. It was yummy!!! I had a bad headache so I got to lay on the floor with a cool flannel while everyone else got dinner ready. Very spoilt.

Mark just sat there and took it all in. I think he is a bit scared too. We knew it would come to this but we (well ... I speak for myself) are shocked at how it is progressing. Mark's face looks like he has had a stroke. The tumour is pressing on some nerves which control his right side and his face has dropped, his arm is useless and his leg he can barely lift.

If you would like to visit with us, please just give us a quick call before you come over. Mark is up to visitors but we must monitor the visits. It would also be better if the visits could be at night or in the morning before lunch. He normally sleeps in the afternoon.

I thought I had been through all my crying but it seems there is still a lot there. I gave myself a doozy of a headache with my tears today.

If there are any changes I will update the site straight away.

Please everyone take care. Life is so precious. It is horrible how something like this makes you realise the most important things in life are people, not things.

Life is good ... depending on how you look at it !!!!

Love and kisses

Des

Thursday, 18 September, 2003 3 pm

Hello everyone

Mark, Josh and I have just spent the best 4 days up at Lake Weyba. Our friends (who happen to be our neighbours) Gill and Lawrence, shouted us 3 nights and 4 days up at a log cabin right on the shore of Lake Weyba (just near Noosaville). It was heavenly. I didn't want to come home. We had the best time. We went bush walking and saw some horses. Josh now says "horse" ... well, sort of. We frolicked in the water and generally lazed around the cabin. It was excellent. As soon as we have the film developed I will put the photos on the site.

We also caught up with Mr and Mrs Commins who live just down the road from where we were staying. It was good to catch up with them. The last time we saw them they were heading off for their 40th wedding anniversary on their big BMW motor bike. I will up load that photo to the link which holds lots of photos. You will find it at the bottom of this site.

Mark and Josh are napping and I am up dating the net as usual.

Mark is weaker. He can't control his hand and leg very well at all now. He can't turn the key in the lock and he can't write anymore. I think he has got noticeably weaker in the last couple of days.

We feel a little worried but ... he still eats like a horse and has no real bad headaches ... so we remain positive. We are going to get a blood test done tomorrow and we are hoping that maybe some of the drugs are responsible for the weakness in his body. We would like to blame the drugs rather than the tumour.

We have Mark's cousin from Melbourne arriving next Monday and staying for a week and then we have Mark's sister and her family arriving the week after that and staying for 2 weeks (the majority of that is down at Coolangatta). We are looking forward to catching up with everyone.

Life is good ... I feel lucky today ... lucky to have so many wonderful people in my life

Thanks everyone

Sunday, 14 September, 2003 10pm

Hi everyone

We are off on holidays tomorrow. We are heading up to Lake Weyba near Noosa for 3 nights and 4 days. We will be back on Thursday. This holiday is thanks to our neighbours Gill and Lawrence. They wanted to get rid of us for awhile, Josh has been screaming!!!! No ... not really ... only kidding !!!!

We are extremely spoilt. We are so lucky to have so many wonderful friends and family. We are really looking forward to getting away. We are going to spend some real quality time together with no computer and not too much tv. I will take Josh paddling in a canoe, I will try horse riding (maybe) (not sure about Josh) and swimming and bush walking. Hopefully I will lose some of the kilos that I have put on since Mark's Uncle and Aunty have been here.

We will take plenty of photos so I can put them on this site. We are contactable via our mobile phone 0401 206 695 if you need us.

I will write a journal as soon as we get back.

I am ringing Mark's neurosurgeon on Monday to see whether there would be any good in operating again. Mark's chemo doctor seems to think there is not much hope in more surgery but you never know. I will let you all know that outcome on Thursday.

Please all take care.

Life is good ... make lots of memories, take lots of photos and keep smiling !!!!!!

Saturday 13th September 2003 2pm

Hello everyone

We have Mark's Aunt and Uncle, Don and Roz, visiting us from New Zealand until Monday. It is great to have them here with us. Don is a real character and you can see where Mark gets his sense of humour from. Roz is adorable and has lots of patience to put up with the Sorensen mob !!!! Only kidding. Roz looks after Mark's mum back in NZ. If you knew Mark's mum you would know that Roz does have patience !!!

We all visited with Colin, Alex and Jennifer this morning to say goodbye to the girls, Casey and Tiarna, as they are off on a school trip to France. They are very excited and the mums and dad are doing well !!!!!

Mark had his first fall from weakness. We had arrived for lunch at the local footy club and he went to chase Josh but his leg gave way. It sent a little shock wave through me as I realised that it was only the beginning. It is a little scary. He is ok. He is still walking around but he must watch himself and take smaller steps.

The boys are asleep and I am updating the web.

All is well ...

Life is good ... when you have a tall glass of cold bubbly and a handfull of strawberries plonked in for good measure !!!!!

Wednesday, September 10, 2003 9:00pm

Good evening everyone

Mark is doing well. You won't believe it but his steroids are the ones that he is allergic too!! But, it seems he is not allergic. We don't understand why there is no reaction now. We are just going with the flow. Check out his tablets for one day ...

4mg of dexmethsone (dex) (steroid)(4 tablets)
1400mg epilim (antiseizure) (7 tablets)
290mg dilantin (antiseizure) (5 tablets)
1mg Lorazepam (antiseixure) (1 tablet when needed)

He has only taken the dex for one day so far and he is yet to really feel any effect. He is to take 4 tablets a day until Sunday and then drop them back to 2 tablets per day forever. They are to reduce the swelling in his brain and maybe make it easier for him to walk. He was taking shark cartilage but has stopped them until he reduces his dex down to 2 per day.

He is losing strength in his hand and leg, but only on the one side, so far. Its a good sign. He is still walking ok but limps and can't really go too far with feeling pain in his limbs.

We have been contacted by palliative care. Its not needed yet but in the future they will come out and help us get Mark set up at home, if we can. The house isn't lending itself for a wheelchair, but maybe down the back room, it might work.

Don't be scared. I think that is a long way off. I hope.

We have Mark's Uncle and Aunty from NZ coming over tomorrow. They will be around until Monday. We are really looking forward to seeing them.

Hope everyone is well.

Life is good ... yesterday, today and tomorrow !!!!!

Monday 8 September 2003 2:45pm

Mark's birthday today. 43 and still going strong.

We sure didn't think we would see this day. We are very lucky to have Mark doing so good for this long. He isn't ready to leave us yet and is hanging on.

We had a great father's day. We had some visitors for a bbq. It was a great day. Very hot. Summer is definitely here.

We have had Josh sick for the last week. We have been really lucky with Josh, he has had very few sicknesses. He has had a fever. The doctors say it is viral. Nothing to do but to see it through.

We have put in an order for the shark cartilage and Mark will start it as soon as it arrives. He is looking forward to giving it a go.

Nothing else happening.

Life is good ... today!!!!!

Thursday, 4 September, 2003 11pm

Hello everyone

We had a humourous day!!!! Well it was one of those days that you couldn't find anything funny about until late into the night. We went to Indooroopilly Shopping Town to pick up some photos. We never go to that shopping centre so we didn't really know our way around. We parked the car quite a distance from the shops, and Mark said that he would move it closer, to level 1, and that Josh and I should meet him there. We finally met up inside the Centre and did what we had to do. Then it was time to go home. Where did Mark park the car ??? Nobody knew!!!! Mark was beside himself. We walked and walked and walked. Or should I say I walked, Josh rolled and Mark limped. In the end we had to ask a security guard to find our car. He was such a nice person. So friendly and only too happy to help. We were a bit embarrassed but he said that it always happens.

Mark's memory is becoming as good as a goldfish's ... "Who put that castle there!"

We are now laughing about it. I tell Mark that I am laughing with him ... ... He is funny!!!!

Mark is ok.
Josh is ok.
Des is going looney!!!!

Life is good and then some !!!!!

Tuesday, 2 September, 2003 3:15pm

Hi everyone

We have had some bad news today. Mark's MRI revealed tumour regrowth.

Mark's doctor has cancelled the chemo (temodar) but is looking at other avenues. Mark said "What ever is going I will try it". His doctor rang us at home this afternoon and said that he will get us a booking with the neuro surgeon to have a talk about any further surgery (if its possible)(Mark's not sure he wants this). He said that the surgeon will talk to us about a trial that the Royal is looking at (one similar to the one we saw on TV about a woman in Adelaide).

His doctor will be putting Mark on steriods (his last try at steriods he had a fit and had heart palpitations) but we will try again, it is a different name so it might work.

Mark is having trouble with his right side. He is very weak and sometimes his leg gives way. He is also having trouble with pins and needles and numbness.

Its not good news but we still have Mark up and around and he is still in a fighting mood. His sister is due to bring her whole family up from Melbourne in another month's time and would like to be ok for that. He isn't going to give in easily.

I will keep you posted with Mark's health and well being.

Life sometimes stinks!!! but generally its good!

Tuesday, 2 September 2003 9:30am

Good morning everyone

Mark had the MRI last night and we managed to get an appointment with his doctor this morning at 11:40am.

I will post the result this afternoon.

Please keep your fingers crossed that all is well with the beast.

Life is good.

Thursday, 28 August, 2003 10:50pm

Hi all

Mark's MRI is booked for Monday 1 September. I am glad it is going to be that soon. We will try and arrange to see the doctor the following tuesday (9/9/03).

Mark is ok but very tired, what with the extra drugs.

I will post any info as soon as it is to hand.

Take care

Life is good

Tuesday, 26 August 2003, 1pm

Hello everyone

We went to see Mark's chemo doctor today. He is a little worried that there may have been some growth. Mark has been suffering mild seizures every day and now he is also suffering some numbness down his right side (it is constantly there now). His doctor has organised an MRI scan to be done in the next couple of weeks. He has upped Mark's medication and added a new one for the seizures. Other than that Mark's appetite is still good which is great.

The only thing with that is Mark loves Mcdonalds and we go there at least once a day, of course I have to have something !!!!! Now Josh loves it too!!!! He shares a junior burger with me.

Take care everyone

Life is good

Monday, 25 August, 2003 9pm

Hi everyone

I just thought I would let you know that we went away for the weekend with Karen, Neil and baby Jack. We went to Labrador and had a very nice time.

Mark had a minor seizure every day, including tonight, which isn't very good, and I don't feel like leaving his side at the moment. Its nothing too nasty. He feels the seizure coming on and it gets to a point and starts to subside. We have his monthly appointment with the chemo doctor tomorrow and will ask about a medication that can prevent the seizures by just putting some drops on the tongue. It sounds great.

This will be Mark's last chemo for a while. Mark will also be having a ct scan shortly to see if there has been any growth. We are looking forward to this. It will be good to know either way. But hopefully there will be no growth.

I will update the photos next time round.

Hope everyone is well.

Take care

Life is good

Tuesday, 19 August, 2003 8pm

Hello everyone
Mark is doing really well. We haven't had any seizures lately which is great news. You wouldn't know that he was not a well boy. He is looking very handsome !!!!! If he knew I was writing this he would tell me off !!!!

Since the radiation he has been very light sensitive and cannot get in front of the computer for very long. He also can't sit in front of the tv for too long either. Apparently a lot of people suffer this sensitivity. Some get over it and some don't. Mark feels he is a bit better but still wears his hat. I told him he has to get a different hat for every day of the year. That would be fun.

I think we could be described as "the cruisers". Which is good.

Life is good.
Love and kisses
Des
(ps Happy Birthday Julie)

Thursday, 14 August, 2003 4pm

Once again, my boys are asleep and all seems good in the World.

Mark put his back out lifting Josh so we went to his physio today. Thank goodness he didn't have a seizure. As usual he is very tired but other than that he is feeling good now that his back has been worked on.

Nothing to report today.

Don't forget to check out the link below, there are lots more photos on that web site.

Take care everyone.

Life is good.

Tuesday, 12 August, 2003 9pm

This week has been a bit sad. We have lost some true champions to this horrid disease. Andrew (www.caringbridge.org/oceania/andrewbrown) and Geoff were members of the OzBrainTumour email group. This group has been my mainstay throughout this part of Mark's and my lives. I just need to say that I have so much respect for everyone on that email group. Thanks to all of them.

Mark had another mild seizure this afternoon. We took him to a physiotherapist to have his back worked on but while we were waiting Mark said that he could feel it coming. When this happens he can't tell a big seizure from a small one. It is not until he is in it does he know if it is going to let up. I drove like a maniac (bad bad bad!!) to the QEII hospital. Halfway there he couldn't speak and started to shake. We were panicking. By the time we got to the hospital it started to subside. He still couldn't speak too good but he could tell that it was going to go. We sat in the QEII car park for 15 minutes until he was good.

I tell you ... the excitement at the Sorensen house never ends !!!!!

Well you have to laugh!!

Mark is fine tonight and is just very tired. Julie, Andrew's mum, has told us about some drops that we are going to get from Mark's doctor. They will help with preventing the seizures. Mark thinks this will be wonderful!

No other news to tell you about.

Life is good!

Sunday, 10 August, 2003 3:20pm

Mark and I picked up Josh today. It was wonderful to see him after such a long break from each other. He was cute and yelled out 'Daddy'. I am sure I saw Mark's eyes glistening. He doesn't seem to make that much fuss with me!! I am a little jealous.

The house is quiet and the boys are asleep. There is something about giving them a feed and putting them both down for a sleep that really makes me feel good.

I have added a link to this web site. It is another site which holds more photos. I hope it works. If anyone has a site they would like me to add, please do. The more the merrier.

Mark is feeling good. Nothing to report on that front.

Life is good.

Friday, 8 August 2003 10am

All is quiet in our household this morning. Aunty Ann has little Josh. Mark and I needed a wee break from our little terror. I have had a bug and not been well the last few days. It was the weirdest feeling having Mark look after me when its him who has the terminal illness.

Mark is always a bit worse the week after chemo for some reason. But he has only one treatment left (Sept 1 to Sept 5) before the doctor gives his body a break from the chemo. Mark is really looking forward to this break (not sure for how long the break will be). While off the chemo he is going to try some alternate medicines. Firstly, he wants to give shark cartilage a try.

Its very exciting for us this month as it is coming up to his first anniversary from being diagnosed and from being given 3 months to live. We are so lucky.

Monday, 4 August, 2003 5pm

Mark had a small seizure the morning after they raised his medication. He normally suffers seizures in the afternoons. This was the first one he has had in the morning. He woke me up around 6 and said "Des, I am going to have a seizure!". Well, since being off work with Josh, I have not been a good morning person, always finding it a bid hard to wake up ... not this morning. I was dressed in 2 seconds by the bed with the phone watching every move he made. The seizure didn't carry on through to the full nasty one. It subsided after a while. Thank goodness. Anyway, he has been fine since. Nothing too exciting to report.

Thursday, 31 July, 2003 10:20pm

We have been away on a beautiful holiday down the coast thanks to Allan and Bev (good friends of Karen and Neil) who gave us a couple of nights at their unit down at Burleigh Heads. We are so spoilt. It was so relaxing and we had the best that winter could offer. It was like summer in the sun and an ice box in the shade. Not really. Josh had a great time on the sand and playing around the playground. We took heaps of photos so I will up date the photo album when we get them developed. Mark starts chemo tomorrow. His blood test came back ok for the temazolomide (the chemo drug). But his blood test for the dilantin (the anti-seizure drug) came back very low. The dosage will need to be raised. We are seeing his gp tomorrow as well to get that organised. I have a feeling that with the increase of that drug Mark will feel a lot more lethargic than he does now. But hopefully it will put to rest the small seizures he has had in the last month (4 in all).

Monday, 28 July, 2003 3:30pm

The house is peaceful. The boys are asleep. We had a big morning. We have visited Alan and shopped at Target. We bought Josh a little plastic picnic table and chairs. He loves climbing on it. It is a big hit. Mark is ok today. He is tired, but that is normal. We go to the Royal Brisbane Hospital ('Royal') tomorrow for his monthly visit with the chemo doctor. If his bloods are ok, then he will start chemo on Thursday. Life is good.

Monday, 28 July, 2003 2:23pm

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