History

Thursday, March 5, 2009 8:32 AM CST

Has it really been 3 months since my last update? My, how time flies.
I have been contemplating on how to make this interesting, short, and full of information. I still have less than nilch ideas on the matter.
So, for a mildly non-entertaining but well informed update - here goes!
Wren. Age: 5 3/4. Weight: according to his Wii appx. 37 lbs. Height: the bugger will never hold still enough for me to measure - so about yay-high around the mid-section area on me. (3 1/2 ft?)
Interests: Absolutely astounding at the drums. Computer games (involving drums). Reading. Yes, that's right. He reads now. Preferably sight words sent home from school.
Likes: Drums. Dad. Provoking little sisters. Baths. Bikes. Big sister's Roller Blades (preferably not down the stairs). Buses. Yogurt. Applesauce. Applejuice. Pepperoni. Wii. Trains. Bear.
Dislikes: Puppets. Facemasks. Sleeping. Being asked not to play the drums. Sitting still.

The kid is amazing! We are working on some augmentative communication with him right now to try and improve his frustrations. He carries around with him a little blue book that has signal pictures in it. He can point to a picture to help us understand what he is needing. We are all still getting used to it, but it seems to be a HUGE help for the time being!
I recently enrolled him into a Psychiatry setting. Okay - in short, he is (ehem - aka I am) seeing a psychiatrist. :-) It's about time! haha. But really, we are trying to find a way to help him self calm, and since his communicative language is so low, she is teaching me so I can work with him. If I recall correctly - I was the one sitting in the chair crying at the appointment while he was happily playing on the floor with trucks...now I ask you - who needs the psychiatric help here? (Rhetorical question...please don't answer.) :-)

I will get into better detail about his upcoming year later - for now, I'm off to psychology (my class - not the Dr.). So, toodles! Have an awesome day - wow. That was short. I never do short.

Monday, November 24, 2008 9:10 AM CST

Wren's surgery went well! They had mentioned post-op the possibility of keeping him in on some morphine to help with the pain. As he was coming out of his drug induced sleep, he seemed very uncomfortable to say the least. However, I chalked it up to the anesthesia and thought he would be okay. Boy, as a mommy was I wrong. He was in horrendous pain for the first two days - and of all the times I have chosen not to keep him in the hospital, this was not a good one. But he has persevered, and is on his way to recovery. The steri-strips are still in tact and will come off at some point next week - otherwise, getting back to normal. :-)
This semester is wrapping up for me in the next 2 weeks and it feels good to be that much closer to "The Program" - as I like to refer to it. :-) God has been merciful and gracious to my memory in the midst of great business. I find school to be a great joy and a great stress all in the same breath - but I continue to look forward to each new semester.
Wren is doing amazing in school. He can write and spell his name, recognize 8 of the 26 letters of the alphabet, count to 18 and recognize numbers up to 12 and has made a new friend, Ben, this year. He is blossoming as a little boy and is such a joy to have around. :-) Thank you, Lord, for giving us this season!

e r i n

Saturday, November 8, 2008 4:17 PM CST

This is a look at our intense drummer - and if you have not yet had the privilege of hearing him play...the boy can REALLY play. He has impeccable timing and is incredible when it comes to holding a beat. :-) All from watching Youtube videos on drum lessons. :-) What a guy~

Wednesday, November 5, 2008 8:17 PM CST

Wren's next surgery is scheduled for November 24th. This one is technically his reconstruction surgery. They will be seperatin where the scar tissue has attatched itself to the fascia in the areas of his old illeostomy, where the drain was in his side and also his "old" g-tube stoma. They will clean him up and make him look all...pretty? haha. Don't tell Michael I used that word! God bless!~

Friday, October 3, 2008 11:15 AM CDT

I am SO SORRY, everyone, for the delay in Wren's update. The surgery went really well! They were able to use the LMA successfully and he had no repercussions in airway swelling or decreased lung function because of it. Dr. Moir pulled the stomach up, stapled it, repaired the subcutaneous fistula in a way that "should it get infected it won't affect him greatly" (which it didn't get infected...Thank you God!), and then repaired the outer stoma. By the time we got up to Wren's room he was starting to act more normal. We watched Shrek II and Shrek III...around 15 times between Friday afternoon and Saturday morning. :-). He was on isolation contact and was not allowed to leave the room...it really was the only thing that kept him happy. He bounced back quickly and our biggest problem was preventing him from doing extreme "boy" things for a week.

His next surgery will most likely be scheduled for December sometime. That one will be an outpatient procedure and should go quickly. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts for keeping us in your prayers! and I am so sorry for making you wait! Not a huge update, but I will write some more at a later time....amazing how busy life can become if you let it! God bless!!!!

Monday, September 15, 2008 1:06 PM CDT

Well, we...what do you call it? "faced the music". Wren is scheduled for surgery this coming Friday, the 19th. That little bugger of a fistula just would not close. We will be in Rochester Friday overnight with the expectancy to be released on Saturday. I remember watching with a twinge of envy those parents who were admitted for only a day or two, and then released. Oh how I hope that no long term parent sees us come and go. Dr. Moir will be doing Wren's belly. He is also going to need reconstructive surgery on the other side where his ostomy once was...however, because of an infection below his g-tube, they are recommending that we do that one another time to reduce the risk of the bacteria traveling from one side of the stomach to the other. Personally, I'm praying that God can clear up this infection before Friday, and that they might consider doing it all at once. :-)

They should be able to perform the surgery with an LMA. Not intubating Wren, in my mind, is a very good idea! They want to be as careful as possible with his LTR site (tracheal reconstruction).

That is a brief update for now! After these surgeries are complete...Wren should be...ehem. all done. :-) (with medical interventions of the sort).

God bless!!!!!

Friday, August 8, 2008 10:05 AM CDT

It was beautiful. The sky was blue. The sunlight shone brightly, it's rays reflecting off of the freshly scrubbed windows - a testament proving the ownership change of a freshly sold house. A soft breeze rustled the leaves of the maple in our backyard, cooling the warmth of the afternoon sun. If it were a movie, I would list it as a heartfelt romantic missing only the wheat fields and the soft dress of the damsel billowing as she ran to embrace her love.

I peeked out our back door briefly, habitually checking for stray children and with that resigned myself to answer natures calling. I walked by the boy doing a once over as he rhythmically tatted out one of Dora's theme songs on his pot with his drum sticks. Knowing that all was well, I stepped into the sudatorium (our bathroom is quite small) for no further explanation.

Emerging a moment later, I noticed the eerie sound of Dora...but the silence of drums. Glancing quickly around the room I realized my beloved boy had disappeared. I ducked out the back to scan the horizon. No trace of the little blue Thomas shirt was to be seen. I jumped inside and picked up the phone dialing the neighbor as I walked. Had she seen Wren? No. She had not, and furthermore did not see him in her driveway.

I returned to the deck, reassured to see 2 little heads poking out of the garage attatched to the house behind us. I hollered out, "Brenna! Is Wren with you?"

After a moment of perusal the stomach knotting, "NO!" came.

I huffed, walked back into the house thinking I must have missed him SOMEWHERE! And glanced around again.

Nothing.

After walking back out onto the deck, ready to bike around the neighborhood, I spot something just a trip away.

Sure enough! There is my Wren! I smile as I descend the steps to retrieve him. As I glance up from watching my step, I notice he has and extra appendage. Is that an arm? No, it can't possibly be. And when did he grow a black breast plate? That's a...! OH NO!

"WREN!!!!! What in the WORLD!"

I rush over to him gently, but very deliberately, removing the beautiful electric guitar from his possession. I stand there alone in the middle of the field of wheat holding not my love, but an amazingly expensive instrument to which I know not to whom it belongs.

By process of elimination, I decide to start with the home to my right. As I'm running with Wren in tow I chastise:

"Wren, this is not good! This is so NOT a good thing to do. Wren! Why in your little brain would you think this is a good idea?!? This is NOT a good idea!"

"I wang garrr!!" He cries as he tries to peel it from my hands.

"NO! Wren. NO! This is not yours. And not only is it not yours, I don't know where you got it!"

- knock, knock, knock. -
"Heeyyy!" My cheery and very nice neighbor, Brian, answers.

"Brian, PLEEEAAASE tell me this belongs to you. I beg you, please! Tell me this is your guitar," I plead.

(chuckling)"Wow. Well that is a very nice looking guitar, but I'm afraid it is not mine."

"CRAP, BRIAN! That was not the right answer! - WREN!~ get back here!~ CRAP! Okay - well, no thanks to you, I need to find exactly who is missing this and I'm praying it's not your neighbors," I reply as I peek over and the next house down.

It is then that I notice the little black cat peering out of the door that allows you to enter the garage from the side.
S*#(sorry, this situation called for a non-normal word in my vocabulary).

I took Wren by the arm and led him a little less gently to the next house down. Peeking into the garage I call out, "Hello?". No answer. I look at the cat irritated that he didn't attack my son when he tried to enter the house. This is why cats are useless in my world. Do they protect the home from invaders? NO. Useless. I vent my anger out briefly on the annoyingly cute little vermin.

As I look up, I see the house door is open. Bingo. I would have to assume that this was the right house. Quickly seeing my life flash before my eyes, I evaluate: is it better to get charged with breaking and entering as an adult? or as a 5 year old. Weighing the risk that someone would come home to find me standing dumbfounded in the living room trying to figure out where the guitar belonged, possible pull out a shot gun and end my life for good, I gently close the door and lay the guitar down on the step leading into the house.

Taking my son by the arm, who was adamantly protesting that he still wanted the "garr", I admonished the cat one more time telling him, or her, to get better at it's job, and walked out shutting the door behind me.

Back at home, I called the father of this child telling him what his son had just accomplished. As a flat silence hit my ears I heard the reply, "I'm pretty sure he's your son in this situation." We bartered for a while as to whom Wren actually belonged to at that moment. Accomplishing nothing, we hung up and decided we needed to accomplish something. But what.

The neighbor: Older woman. Two sons. Not fond of children in her yard or in her view. Has a voice that carries when she's displeased with little feet running through her yard...I wonder how she would feel about little feet running through her house and taking a guitar.....

Not telling.
You have to tell.
NO, I don't.
Yes, you do. It's the right thing to do.
Not always, sometimes it's okay to withhold information.
Not this time. What if she thinks someone broke into her house?
Someone DID break into her house.
Yes, but that someone didn't know it was wrong.
SO?
So? Explain that to her. She'll understand.
No she won't.
Yes she will.
No she won't.
Yes. she will. Besides, can you sleep tonight knowing someone might be terrified of someone coming back to their house to break in?
Yes.
No. You can't and you know it.
Again, so?
So. You have to tell her.
Can I make her cookies instead?
You can make her cookies and as you give them to her, tell her.
Those better be some damn good cookies.
Yes. They had better.
What if she wants to press charges?
Then you go along with her.
That's dumb.
It's right.
I don't have time for this!
You have to have time for this. He's your son.
OH! I get it. So now he's MY son.
Yes. He is your son. The one that God put into your care. The one you are responsible for.
But I only had to go to the bathroom! This is not my fault.
He's still your son.
Shoot.

Stupid Chuck. Sometimes the voice in my head is a little wiser than I.

A run-down in the life of Wren. And as a movie would end so I say:

Wren Eccles is now 5 and living with both of his parents. Since the initial incident Wren has tried to lift the guitar 4 more times, succeeding only once. Although the guitar looked very nice in the living room, it was returned to it's loving owner by Wren's father. The house has since executed the use of it's locks to prevent further break-ins, and the Eccles have found all gadgets to prevent any further break-outs. It has been understood by them that not all people are eager to sign up to be their neighbors, however, they do offer perpetual cookies to soothe over wrong doings. You may not have all of your possessions by the end of your living stay, but you will have a full and fat belly.
Charges have not been pressed by the family as of today. Only time will tell.

On that note - as punishment, we have decided to put Wren into surgery on September 19th to fix his gastro hole. It is not closing, and actually seems to be getting worse. They may decide to do a little reconstruction on the other side where his ostomy once was, but we are not certain at this time. otherwise? life is good. Thanks for checking and God bless!!!!!

e r i n

Sunday, June 8, 2008 10:36 AM CDT

I thought it would be noteworthy to say that today, June 8, 2008, we lost Wren's final medical appendage. His g-tube fell out overnight, I'm assuming...and it was time. Time to let it go and move on. I had, selfishly, hoped to keep it for potty training. 'Tis not to be. :-) Aren't we, as parents, continually being refined in how we think and act? Losing one's self and gaining the Lord's wisdom. Have an awesome and blessed day!

Sunday, April 27, 2008 10:12 PM CDT

Wren's 5th birthday -

We woke up yesterday morning to discover Wren's g-tube had fallen out over night. We looked at each other and questioned, "Is today the day?"...I had just changed it about a month ago, and had not yet ordered a back-up...ISJ does not carry any pediatric sized mic-key buttons...pediatric resources were quickly used up...was his 5th birthday the day to "lose the tube?" (sorry for the short quips!) NOT TO BE! :-) It could very well be. The boy is doing marvelous in the eating department and pretty okay in the drinking. However, we are so addicted and used to the g-tube we just can't seem to let it go. Haha. Just kidding, but in reality I am keeping it for some very selfish reasons. I want to potty train in about a week and a half here, and with the g-tube I can bolus liquids in him and really get him peeing. Ups my chances of catching him in time to get him on the potty and connecting the two together! My sweet mother-in-law looked at me when I explained why today and just shook her head - but to me it makes sense! He doesn't drink quite enough to really gage when he will need to pee...this helps just a little.

Emma closed our day out with losing another tooth. Must have been a day for losses! :-) And although I could not tape her tooth back in like I had the g-tube (until I can get one ordered tomorrow!) I counted it a grand loss. Disappointingly the tooth fairy slept through the sound of her tooth coming out and didn't leave any money under her pillow. She rectified that tonight by putting her tooth under MY pillow! Apparently, a friend of a friend told her friend that mom and dad are actually the tooth fairy in cognito....so she's trying it out for good measure. :-) We'll see what the T.F. has to say about that tonight!

Otherwise we had a chilly, blessful birthday. We took the kids to Horton and then out for pizza afterwards. Came home and THEY took us on a two hour bedtime ride (very unusual, and I have to blame the unreal amount of sugar they consumed between 2:40 and 7:00)...Future reference for me - avoid the sugar overload on the birthday days!

This is actually an old picture from last summer - my photoshop is on the blitz so updated pictures are put on hold for now! :-)

Thursday, April 24, 2008 9:02 PM CDT

I'm a little worried that between now and Saturday, I'm going to run out of time to update! So, although just a touch early, a quick birthday update for my 5 year old boy.

Tonight as I was giving him a bath, he took his bath crayons and wrote on the wall meanwhile spelling out loud as he wrote, "W-R-E-N". This was the first time I had heard him spell and write his name unaided! I almost fell off the toilet! (I wasn't actually USING it at the time - only for chair purposes). My boy is growing up. With the weather turning towards the nicer end - er, at least every other day or so here in Minnesota - we decided to get the bikes out and ready to go. Wren also graduated from a trike to a big boy bike with training wheels this week. Again, my boy is growing up...

I spent the last week slowly turning through the pages of his scrapbooks, remembering. Such precious memories that come flooding back. I can't describe the feelings and emotions that go along with it. I remember aching and wanting so desperately to be "done" with the medical ride of my life...but i don't remember what the strife feels like. The only feelings I remember are the ones of being covered and loved. The time I had to bask in the Lord's presence. The outpouring of love from everyone around us. I remember the thoughts of frustration and turmoil...but I don't remember the feeling. I don't believe they were a very constant thing to me - I believe for the most part, it was such a time of trusting and relying on God and on all of you...I just felt carried.

I look at my son, and try not to take 1 moment for granted. I can't say I always succeed...he has this what I like to call "terd" instinct in him, and can be very challenging some days...but boy - this son of mine. My son. I love how his face lights up when I show up to school unexpectedly. I love how he giggles with glee when jumping on the trampoline. I love how he gets a glint in his eye when he's about to make trouble. I love how, even now, he is learning to listen and growing in so many areas. One of the sayings on one of the pages of one of his scrap books (that's a lot of one's) says, "you, my son, are very, very, very loved." And that about says it all. I will try to get some new pictures on here after the weekend birthday party - but for now, at least I got an update on! :-) We are running into our last week and a half of school. WHEW! And so we press forward. God bless!

Thursday, March 27, 2008 10:37 PM CDT

Today, I had the great privilege of being reminded of God's sovereignty and the miracle of Wren. I brought him in for his first cavity filling at the dentist. It was horrendous. He is still to this day extremely terrified of protective face masks, scrubs, and latex gloves...all of which are worn by dentists. That alone sent him into a frightful scream - add in (and i personally loathe the dentist, so nothing but compassion was flowing from me today) the noise of the drill and the scraping of teeth and me having to hold him down...my poor boy looked as though he had done battle by the time we were done. His face was completely blood shot, his hair drenched with sweat, and the dentist's pants had one huge wet spot on them from his tears. She was absolutely wonderful and so understanding. As we were working on him (I've also never been on this side of the drill - able to see the work being done) she and her assistant were asking questions about him. I know there have been other children who have fought far more arduous battles, and others who are still, yet each time I have the opportunity to re-tell his odds and how so many obstacles were overcome, I am so blatantly reminded of the miracles God has seen to completion in Wren. And what a blessing that is to me. How God spared my heart the pain of having to let him go...after following so many kiddos this summer who lost their battles and seeing/reading the immense heart ache that follows - one that just cannot be covered with anything but time...and even then...i am just overcome with thankfulness, gratefulness, a sheer feeling of why me. Going into it, every once in a while that thought crept in - why me. And now, on the other side seeing how unscathed we have been, I repeat out of sheer wonder - why me. So thankful. So blessed.

School is going amazingly well. I crave the knowledge I am getting. I love the studying. I love the learning. I love the atmosphere - but most of all, I love the prospective that I carry with me. I believe that aids quite a bit in the success I am experiencing. My family has been nothing but supportive thus far. Thank you mom and dad, for all you do! And to my husband who watches the kids so diligently so I can put in my time! Again, how truly blessed I am!

Friday, February 15, 2008 1:01 PM CST

cover the wagner family in prayer - please.

Thursday, January 24, 2008 6:26 PM CST

before i begin any other entry what-so-ever, in case you read the guest book once in a while, you will notice a link on the last entry. please be praying for this family. before caringbridge, i never realized the magnitude of needed prayer everywhere. http://cfhusband.blogspot.com i'll post it at the bottom, also.

please also be in prayer for joel wagner right now. he is very much in need of a miracle at this moment.

i've had a couple requests for an update since i've started school. to begin with, i checked, and they said they would think about allowing me to sail through simply based on wren's life. ;-) but for the most part, i do believe i want to be there more than anything taking in the vast knowledge that these professors can teach. for today, i am loving the balance that this has brought to my life. yes, you heard me correct. i said balance. contrary to what most people are believing school will do to me...it has actually made me more sane. for the first time in 7 years (i know that really is not that long) i am dropping my 2 younger children off in the wonderful care of a loving neighbor for 4 hours in the morning on monday, wednesday, and friday. this gives me just enough time to kick start my brain in the morning and by the time we re-unite, i'm ready to address their situations and what they are requiring from me at this time. :-) the past 2 weeks has led me into about 5 hours of studying each day. now mind you, this is by choice...not force of hand or class. i am very concerned with "staying ahead" so as not to fall behind. michael says i'm creating work for myself...i say i'm preventing a catastrophe. besides the fact that i am actually HUNGRY for knowledge. it is quite possible that my brain got dehydrated the past few years. it is ultra hungry for saturation...as in if i had the time available, i could spend 8 hours a day with my head in the books and be perfectly content. however, we all know that that is not logical at this point in time...so i squeeze and hour of study time in right after i drop the kids off at school/daycare and before my first class. 1 hour of study in between class 1 and lecture 2...pick up halle from daycare, put her down for a nap...squeeze in 2 more hours of study...wake her up, pick up kids from school and drop them off at their prospective places, help with homework/playtime...make supper...get kids ready for bed...bedtime and another hour or two of studying before i hit the sack. it feels productive and good. :-) now i'm not ignorant in saying that i will maintain this every day for the next 5 months. but for today, for here and now it is what is working and what i'm craving. the deeper i go into the human anatomy, the more i am astounded by the greatness of our God. for lack of a better phrase...evolu..wha???? there is just NO WAY. it is too precise and too amazing. and even chemistry is taking a fun toll on me. wierd. i find myself ALMOST craving working out some conversion problems. haha. anyway, that was an update on me more than the kiddos. the kids are pretty much the same. very much in cabin fever mode and very much so needing LOTS of green grass and room to run. there are only so many ways we can turn our furniture to make their surroundings new and interesting (and compatible with a running isle.) anyway, hope the winter is treating you all as winter would. building in you a new and growing appreciation for spring and summer. :-) j/k - i really like winter. i just don't enjoy being cold all that much!!!!!! God bless.

Wednesday, January 9, 2008 11:16 AM CST

well! wren's teacher and i had a good conversation yesterday. it sounds as though our little guy is going to integrate into an all day kindergarten next year. he will be 5 this april, so the timing is appropriate. his kindergarten program next year, however, will still be within a "special" program. it is one that is ONLY 1 year with no option for a second...but it has the equivelent of all the help he has this year. then the following year he will actually be assigned to a "normal" kindergarten classroom...but will still be involved with a special ed class. his biggest obstical right now is still communication. but that is slowly but surely coming along!

it is but a short update...however! such a wonderful step in the life of wren. and right now, i give thanks for every blessing bestowed upon us!

God be with you.

Thursday, December 13, 2007 10:49 PM CST

I thought maybe, possibly I would do a quick and short updated Christmasish type letter via caringbridge. Sadly, I still have never hopped on the Christmas card band wagon. I'm afraid it might be a fault that I'll carry with me to my grave. I so very much enjoy reading eveyone elses...just not so good at creating my own.

Of all the thoughts I've had about this past year, the one I'm holding to is "just relax and enjoy the ride". :-) In fact, as the holiday movies have come rolling out of the vault - I'm thinking we could all stand to learn a little something from Chevy Chase - i.e. Christmas vacation. Have you seen how many little nuisances he faced during the holiday season?!?! and each one just rolls off of his back and on he goes. he doesn't get mad (sans the whole jelly of the month club thing)....he just brings grace and goodness to the family. He accepts and encompasses even that which he is annoyed by. Atta boy, Clark!

I really don't have all that much to update on that you haven't already read!

Michael continues to work up at MSU. He is enjoying his position now, but is dreaming of the day I finish nursing school so he can "do what he wants". ;-) He has grown into the roll of stay at home dad in the evenings while I work or go to worship rehearsal or find myself running various kids to various places. Each one of the kids adores him. He gets squeels and screams when he walks in the door that I could only dream about! :-) He is absolutely everything I could ever want or hope for in a husband and marriage and life only get better with the years. we are approaching our 9th this coming year (which you who have been married longer are probably laughing at me right about now!) but it is good.

I, of course, am heading back to school in january. Starting with my core classes and working my way up to the actual nursing program. As I was filling out loan information a repeated question was "what year will you be?" haha. ahhhhh - i don't know? technically a junior...but realistically a freshman? starting at the very beginning...but that's all right. when i tell people i'm heading back to school i get a wonderful mixed reaction ranging anywhere from, "OH! you are going to do wonderfully." to "wow. MSU is an incredibly hard program. how are you going to do it with a family?" ieeee. so i'm ranging anywhere from excitement to all out freaked out. depends on the day and the mood! otherwise, I have filled my time leading worship on every 4th rotation at church, working 3 nights a week at BW, running emma to hockey and/or awanna, and trying to keep up with the jones's. oh wait. i mean wren and halle. trying to keep up with wren and halle.

Emma turned 7 in november. which means in 7 more years she'll be 14. how did that happen!!!!! as i've mentioned before and already, she is in chicks with sticks. we are discussing the possibility of her joining MAHA - but for now she is content doing this. she seems to really like hockey - but i have yet to convince her to wear every pad she should be wearing! baby steps, i guess. :-) she is helpful, sweet and wonderful. the other night, she put halle to bed for me and came into my room and said, "mom, i read halle a book, tucked her in and prayed with her. she's done." my stunned, "wow." reaction i guess was a good one. :-)

wren. he talks and talks still...but no one really knows what he is saying. it's like the part on nemo when marlin goes, "You're really cute, but i have no idea what you are saying." that's wren. :-) he tries SO hard. at everything. he is surprisingly coordinated and can navigate a computer better than i can. in fact, i do believe he has installed a few programs on here that i never signed up for. he is still going to school 4 days a week in the afternoons. he loves school. he wakes up in the morning and says, "iee yike cool." among other things. he has grown leaps and bounds in the eating area. he now sits down at the dinner table at night and will eat a good amount without each bite being coaxed into his mouth! oh..it feels so nice to have that coming along! and drinking is following. that g-tube WILL come out someday. it will!

halle. she has just recently moved to a "big girl bed"...which seems odd that it is happening all ready. my little baby is definitely a toddler! we spend our afternoons together...getting to know eachother. she is curious and adventuresome. she LOVES her brother and sister...but also likes her independence. she has even started allowing me to cuddle her here and there...and that is a treat. :-)

God has been so good to our family this year. through vacations and family get aways...trials and growing periods, He, of course, is always proving himself faithful! have a glorious and wonderful Christmas!!!!

God bless,
the eccles

Sunday, December 9, 2007 9:35 PM CST

a Christmas letter to come...for now, i just needed to change the background.

please be keeping little joel wagner in your prayers.

Sunday, November 4, 2007 2:21 PM CST

has it really been since september? i swear i just updated not too long ago!
well, we have had a busy month in october (obviously)! so i will try to give you a very quick and very unwitty over-view.
emma was nominated as one of two class representatives in her first grade class. she has seemed to embrace this role although she admittidly tells me "mom, i can't remember the word!" (representative). ;-) that's my girl. just make sure your responsibilities are taken care of and don't worry about the pronunciation for now. she continues to help me corral and referee the two younger ones. what a blessing she is to me. she has sparked an interest in hockey, and i think we are going to try to get her involved here very soon. :-)
wren...oh wren. i LOVE this little man. i'm in the season right now where i continually go through all of his memory photos and boxes to remind myself of how much i love him. he is challenging in EVERY sense of the word! so boy...so not what i'm used to....so much of what God could use to file me. he believes that halle's eyes are meant to be poked by pretty much...anything. her toys are to be taken and used as something of a provoking tool. her hands and feet are for pinching and her shirts are full pulling, tuggin and a catalyst to get her to trip, fall or fly. i really don't think he does it to be malicious (although he has been known to scratch me when he is mad at ME), but he REALLY REALLY enjoys the reaction he gets out of her! i'd have to believe - and i've said it before, he will be a biochemist of sorts...action - reaction! he loves school and wakes up daily and says to me, "iee yike cool". he is now sporting a new set of earmolds on his hearing aids..and also a new color on the aids themselves. very cool, dude! he also has found the new habit of independence. i.e. the other day i came downstairs from putting halle down for a nap to find the back door was open. after a quick run through the house and no wren to be found, i ran outside and glanced around. no wren. i ran through the johnson house, the bartell house and the kanstrup house...no wren. i ran through the myster's yard, the huettle's yard and all of the surrounding radius. no wren. i finally came to the front of our house and scanned the horizon....way way far down on monks was a little image bobbing pushing a pink thing. WREN!!!!! argh! so i left my muffins to burn (baking in the oven) sprinted my out of shape behind down 1/4 mile, caught up to him and said, "WREN!" he looked up at me...smiled...which quickly left his face after looking at mine...and then started crying. i had a few very motherly choice words with him. brought him home and put him straight to bed. i was NOT a happy mom! in any sense, he really likes the outdoors. we are now forced to lock ourselves IN our house in order to keep him from running away. no concept of danger yet. the world is still his playground.
halle is growing fast. she enjoys a multitude of different things...one of them is indulging her brother in reactions. she actually will position herself so that he can provoke her so she can scream. i think they are teaming up against me.... ;-) i very much look forward to nap time when he hops on the bus and she goes down for a nap. i shut everything off in the house and do my house work in silence. ahhh. i really enjoy silence. :-) but she is a joy - and very much like me when i was a little girl. she has probalby the most noticable will of all of them...and definitely a strong opinion meant to be known. she is incredible and funny and a sheer joy to have around.
pizza is here...off to eat some much needed lunch! God bless and we'll update more later

Wednesday, September 19, 2007 2:47 PM CDT

i think this is the second time i've updated this month! and i'll actually try to update this time.

we've been contemplating this past month on wren's goals, and what we are going to strive for this year. communication is our number 1 priority right now. he jabbers a lot...but most of it is incoherent to the everyday man.....myself included. so! the subject of getting a "voice box" persay came up. i'm assuming this is something of a computer device used so he can push words or form words that way. thus, eliminating a lot of the frustration. (his...and ours!) to do this, we would need to do another laryngoscopy to figure out if his voice is quiet due to scar tissue around the vocal chords...or if it is just small because it is small. if all medical reasons preside, then the district will foot the bill for this contraption thingy. if not...well, we're back at square one. michael and i are, of course, a little hesitant to do the scope...but are also wanting wren to have the power of communication. SO! wisdom we are seeking in all areas. :-)

otherwise he continues to do great. we did a hearing test the other day, and he did it the "big boy" way. meaning, no ABR or BEAR...just plain old sound booth and speakers. he did very well, but of course lost attention towards the end. as it would turn out, his hearing has remained the same so no adjustments need to be made to his hearing aids. he got fitted for new molds, which will be blue and white swirls...but come to find out today, the molds they took in the office didn't actually "take"...so we need to head back in to re-do them. shucks. awe well. a minor thing that i can very well handle in light of other trials happening around me.

praying everyone is enjoying these whacky minnesota days! 80 than 60, then humid, then cold, then 30, then 90...who knows really. ;-) God bless!

Sunday, August 26, 2007 7:30 PM CDT

with all of the excitement of the first day of first grade going on, getting both kids to look and smile at the camera...well, wasn't happening. :-) but this portrays the emotions they were definitely feeling yesterday. emma was a little unsure of the newness of everything, and wren was sorely upset at the departure of his big sister. he shed quite a few tears as she walked into the building. however, they were soon forgotten as we trodded over to his school for his care conference. (still referring to his conferences as care conferences...you'd think we still lived in the hospital!) :-) it is going to be quite the wonderful/busy!!! year. between activities for the kids and worship teams for michael and i, i think we have all but one night covered weekly. i have been given the honor of becoming one of the worship leaders at covenant and will be on a 4 week rotation with 3 others. i also have met with the nursing advisor up at MSU and plan to start classes beginning in january. taking it slow, my first hurdle next semester will be chem 106 (prep my brain for 111), and human anatomy. i'm still waitressing a couple nights a week up at BW for my adult time, and mikee and i will be in a small group on wed. evenings. mike will be filling in the blanks for me during the week, but then also serves as the "sound man" for the services. he will be training in a few more good men this year, hopefully, taking some of the weight off of his own shoulders.
emma is all about gymnastics right now and strongly desires to spend her time either in the gym or with friends. she told me lastnight that she thought first graders should have rest time at school because she was "very very tired". i said i thought that was a good idea too, but i didn't think it would probably happen.
wren consumes his time with trains trains and more trains. anything trains, but especially thomas. our biggest goals for him this year is communication. his cognitive far outshines his communicative, and we are trying to find the best avenue to help him express himself as he has found a great source of frustration when he is not able to. lots of screaming comes from those little lungs when his ideas are not conveyed (or obeyed!). still will bring 'pink' everywhere with him...which our explanation is simply "pink is the new black, right?" ;-)
halle does everything her big brother does...and prides herself in being the thorn in his side...or is he the thorn in hers???? regardless, they are true siblings to the core. not a whole lot of "working it out" going on....just a continual combative "who can win" spirit. and they are both DETERMINED! while emma was at school yesterday, i took wren, halle and a little friend, livia, to the mall. wren decided he was upset over not going to scheels for fudge, halle decided she was going to run full force towards the oposite end of the mall, and livia was trying to chase halle down. so i'm stuck somewhere on the corner saying (very firmly...ahem, loudly) "Wren! that's enough, get over here NOW! - Halle, STOP! livia, go get halle! WREN! COME HERE, NOW!....HALLE! STOP!!! livia, just a sec sweetie, i'll get her." as i run to retain halle. livi semi-followed me, and i turned in time to see and nice mall janitor trying to coax wren out of the matress store where he had decided to enter to finish his fit. all laughing aside i said to myself, "the only thing worse than bringing 3 kids to the mall is bringing 3 kids to the mall without a stroller." never again will i make that mistake! :-) for the moment, i was "that parent" who for the life of me couldn't reign in the emotes of my children.
but children...ahhh, they are a breath of fresh air. hope you all enjoyed the beginning of a new year. God bless.

Tuesday, August 21, 2007 10:19 PM CDT

as i write, there is yet another life in desperate need of prayer. i have attatched his link below. please be praying for little jude.

Tuesday, August 7, 2007 10:48 AM CDT

well, we tried our hands at camping this weekend. (smile). imagine that, we seemed to have had a drought the entire month of july, and lo and behold the weekend was saturated with rain. lol. you really have to laugh. aside from just a general soggy feeling over all, it was a wonderful weekend away with the kids. we went with a couple friends, and that seemed to appease the misery of the rain on saturday. sunday morning alloted us the chance to do a little hiking, and yes, even swimming in the freezing cold river. (do you remember feeling cold as a child? i didn't think so - they have an uncanny ability to ignore misery...aka freezing toes and purple lips!) we hiked to the top of one of the bluffs at whitewater and on the way up i had my son's hand in mine and it was one of those "moments" where i just kept looking at the wonderful miracle of who he is. watching him "gross motor plan" (sorry had to theraperize the phrase) and climb the rocks and weave his way around roots and tree branches just caused me to be astounded at how far he has come. and just how wonderful it is and how blessed we are that "he" beat the odds (i guess we all know Who beat the odds in the end - but the fighting spirit belongs to my son.)
on sunday we, once again, enjoyed the annual NICU-reunion. it's funny, where we once felt as though we were the "kings of the castle" for no other reason than longevity, we now recognize only a few faces there. it seems to be yet another life closure for us. wierd. how does something so all consuming become something of the past? but how nice all in the same breath. life changing, but not life controling! amen.
i'm sorry i didn't get but 2 pictures of wren this weekend camping, so although this is HIS website, i have failed to get his face on. i'm working on it though. he's a bit of a pickle to photograph! :-) in the mean time, you can see how much the girls are growing. my lovely daughters are becomeing more and more of a joy each day. halle has just this electric personality that i'm LEARNING to embrace (vs. get frustrated with) and boy has it proved to be a learning process for me. but she is even still my little filer in my life and i know i have so much to learn from her. wren is just boy boy boy and so much fun. he still is passionate about barbie, charlie and the chocolate factory, toy cars and, of course, his pink bear.

i'm really writing to beseech your prayers on behalf of joel wagner. if you have not been following his site, he just received and bone marrow transplant and is struggling right now. i have little reason lately to use wren's site (boring everyday updates are not always fun to read - but fun for us!)...but this was a cause in my heart. prayer always is. may God cover you in all you do today. God bless. i've attatched his link below, otherwise it is www.caringbridge.org/visit/joelwagner

Thursday, June 28, 2007 9:01 PM CDT

these are much more fun than prom pictures any day!!!! and boy, each time i try to get pics of my kids period...let alone 1 with the three of them actually looking AT that camera - heaven forbid smiling! - my respect for photographers grows and grows! i'll put one on that shows just how much halle enjoys being touched and crooned and cuddled. she is NOT my sit pretty and smile girl. i was laughing with a girlfriend yesterday about how emma's photos from younger days were all sugar and sweetness. wren's, also, were mostly smiles mixed with a little mischevious grin....halle....hahaha. she is all throw bullets and the camera and give her best menacing scowl. honestly truly makes me laugh. she is quite the character. i wonder if i had anger issues while i was pregnant with her...hmmmmm.....is that catchy? :-) she is one of a kind! and i love 'em all.

i also have a couple photos that show their "dark" side. poor goats. one is of wren pinching the goat's nose - i think....and one is of halle grabbing (or trying to) a goat's tongue. now that's a kicker!
God bless!

Tuesday, June 26, 2007 12:21 AM CDT

thank you to everyone who made cheri's prom '79 a great success - !!!!!! what a blast we had this last weekend.
all is going well - as you can tell by my very very few and far between entries. we have all caught a horrid summer cold that will hopefully evaporate in the next week or so. and that is the culmination of our excitement :-)
mikee and i were able to go down to chicago last week for a 3 day worship conference at willowcreek. what an amazing conference and time that was. very rejuvinating, insightful, and refreshing.
summer has kept us busy with kids always running in and out - and lots of running "here and there" with the kids. notice "running" is the main theme. we find sheer exhaustion at the end of the day in the most wonderful way!
hope everyone is having a fun and safe summer - God bless!

the eccles

Wednesday, June 6, 2007 10:56 AM CDT

i realize this is a pretty funny face on wren. he was saying something to me about the slide when i took it, but i had to get a picture of his eye a day past and it was indeed infected. when we brought him in, pediatrician called for a second opinion on what to do. the second opinion called for someone from the surgery floor to see what to do, and the surgeon lifted up the corner of the glue and made a small hole in the infected area and squeezed out a large amount of puss. we put him on an oral antibiotic and called it a day! it is looking better today, but certainly looks like he got in quite the brawl and the other guy lost! :-) (of course the other guy lost...don't they always when it's your boy?) emma had a "picnic" day at sibley park with her class and some of the other classes, so we all hung out for a while and enjoyed the company and sunshine. my mom came over and brought with her my grandma and aunt from alabama. that proved to be a real treat! what a good day it was. emma said in the mid-morning, "mom, i think this is going to be the best day ever." we often fluctuate between the best day and the worst day ever. there is no grey in our lives!
God bless!

Monday, June 4, 2007 10:43 AM CDT

one little monkey jumping on the bed. he ran away to avoid being caught and fell forward and cracked his head. mama called the dr. and the dr. said, "bring him in to get his eye glued shut." thankfully! stitches were avoided. :-) whatever did they do 100 years ago when eye glue wasn't around? hmmmmm..... i very sickly kind of like showing off his "real boy" scars. cool, huh? :-) we, however, are now questioning why he is getting so many bloody noses and why the eye looks a little "angry". :-) thinkin' another trip to see our favorite dr. will be in the makings. other than the minor cuts and bruises we had a fabulous weekend. michael and i had a mini wedding retreat and enjoyed eachother's company skirt tugging free. God bless!

Thursday, May 31, 2007 1:14 PM CDT

even kings in the making need to try on different crowns to see which one fits just right! wren had his last day of school today. all of the kids went down to the park (i brought my camera, which refused to work for me!) and as we were standing there watching wren run along the fence line (he happens to love linear anything)one of the teachers commented to me, "you know, erin, i know you probably look at him daily and are just blessed by the boy he is. but we look at him daily here and realize what a miracle he is. he is such a joy to us." sweet words that ring in my ears. he is a joy and a blessing, and without him the world would be wren-less. that would be one less smile during the day to brighten someone else's. it would be one less squeel at the sight of a parking ramp (we still don't know why...). it would be one less giggle he is tucked into bed at night. it would be one less delightful hop when we mention the words "bike ride". he is extra-ordinary. and now we have completed his first year of school. something he should have never been able to do....LOOK AT HIM!!!!!! amazing. :-) we had a wonderful weekend filled with family and busy relaxation. if there is such a thing. :-) God bless until next time.

Thursday, May 3, 2007 3:23 PM CDT

Please, be keeping the schweim family in your prayers right now and in the days to come. It sounds as though oliver will be needing them. thank you.
i linked it below also...

www.caringbridge.org/visit/oliverschweim

Thursday, April 26, 2007 11:08 AM CDT

it was about this minute 4 years ago that you made your first cries into this world of ours. my how time goes by quickly. April 26th, 2003, we celebrated your arrival by goodness and by God's grace, we celebrated in 2004 amazed at the miracle of you and so happy to be home, we celebrated in 2005 looking towards the future of lesser medical needs and a more "normal home, in 2006 your sister's new arrival doubled the celebration, and now in 2007 - 4 years later - we give YOU a REAL birthday party. your first one since birth. this birthday will be coupled with your friends and balloons and birthday cake that you can EAT! it is said quite often...but you've come a long way, baby. both dad and i are SO PROUD of you! you have a never ending smile, a will that surpasses all, the persistence to accomplish anything you put your mind too, and the willingness to try. you are incredible, and we couldn't ask for anything more than just you. you are perfect just the way you are, and nothing and no one in this entire world compares to you. we love you little man, happy birthday!!!!!

Saturday, April 7, 2007 10:25 PM CDT

this is michael and halle last year at the Easter service...my how they grow! i have posted a new link at the bottom of the page. God bless.

John 3:16
"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whosoever would believe in Him would not perish, but have eternal life."

"Greater love hath no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends." John 15:13

Saturday, April 7, 2007 9:45 AM CDT

i have never been so good with words when first hand experience and knowledge don't accompany them. but in my heart this lastnight and this morning i have felt this ache and this yearning to know my Savior more. to see Him as God, and to know He became a man all for my sake. He set aside his throne in heaven to come to earth to save...me. in my relationship with him, i feel like i continually walk that fine line of reverence and familiarity. Oh, that the King of Kings loves me the most. The creator of the universe? The One Who stands before me on my behalf before the very throne of God. I have access to the throne because of Him...it just astounds me. and no matter how many different ways i write it, there are days when it really just doesn't sink into my thick head. it seems so surreal and so awesome...that it seems impossible. to be called the daughter of the King. and to be treated as such BY the King. As we celebrate the Risen King tomorrow and the redemption that was brought by His blood, i also remember, honor, and revere the sacrifice. i don't understand fully...and i may never...the anguish and suffering He went through for me. and He did it knowing the full ramifications of what was to come. like a lamb being brought to be slaughtered. willingness. not an ounce of hesitancy...just sorrow over what was going to come. and after all was done, and this sinful race was bought...we still have managed to turn away this most precious, most awesome gift. and yet, no resentment builds in His heart. God's love never changes. He is the same today, yesterday and tomorrow. He still loves us in the midst of all our iniquities. today, this is a hard chunk to swallow. today, it is overwhelming and i bow down not worthy to be at His feet...yet here i am. the only place i ever want to be.
Ron Dicianni is one of my most favorite painters/artists and you can obviously view a couple of his pictures here. www.prints.com/art.php/Ron_DiCianni/?artist_id=2430&page=1-99 this link may or may not bring you there...i've never been very good at navigating the computer world. the one of simeon holding the Christ child for the first and last time, as was promised before his death, on the steps of the temple is one of my favorite. if you look intimately at the picture, you will see drawn into the background the nations. i see this and find such assurance that all the nations are wrapped up into this tiny babe. even as a baby, he held the nations' salvation in his hands..."come let me hold him oh bless you Lord, i will depart in peace. my eyes have finally seen Thy salvation...the Glory of Israel. Light of the nations. Mary will be weeping the sword pierce her soul for this little one. this little one. and darkness will be fleeing the rising light in this little one. this little one."
can you IMAGINE holding the Christ child? waiting your entire life for this one moment and knowing that you held God's only son? CAN YOU IMAGINE?!?! i think the weeping from the depths of your soul....i just can't imagine. i can feel it in my depths as i try to imagine.
so as i thought of Jesus and the sacrifice he made for me, i was also remembering this morning the soldiers who are sacrificing on my behalf. what a blessed nation we live in. one of our very dear friends is in the marines, and, once again, prior to firsthand knowledge i think my tendency is to take things for granted. she sent me a video a little while ago and as i rewatched it this morning it just pulled at my heart. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LVAgC70oA4g
by citizen reign. this is the link if you want to watch it. you soldiers who are fighting for my freedom at this moment...you are my heros. thank you. i know my words today are very choppy and stumbly...i just can't seem to complete a thought. my mind is racing and frozen all in the same breath. i'm just overwhelmed today. fragments is all you get for now!
John 15:13 "Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends."

2 Peter 1:15-21
1 Peter 3:8-4:11
(also a Rich Mullins song)
I believe in God the Father almighty
Maker of Heaven and Maker of Earth
And in Jesus Christ
His only begotten Son, our Lord
He was conceived by the Holy Spirit
Born of the virgin Mary
Suffered under Pontius Pilate
He was crucified and dead and buried

And I believe that what I believe
Is what makes me what I am
I did not make it, no it is making me
It is the very TRUTH of God not
The invention of any man

I blieve that He who suffered
Was Crucified, buried and dead
He descended into hell and
On the third day he rose again
He ascended into Heaven where
He sits at God's mighty right hand
I believe that He's returning to
Judge the quick and the dead
Of the sons of men

I believe in God the Father almighty
Maker of Heaven and Maker of Earth
And in Jesus Christ His only begotten Son,
our Lord
I believe in the Holy Spirit
One Holy Church, the communion of Saints,
The forgiveness of sins
I believe in the resurrection
I believe in a life that never ends!

Praise God this easter for His birth, His death, and ultimately His resurrection making me His own.

Thursday, March 22, 2007 3:41 PM CDT

may i just say that i am the most blessed among women to be married to the man i am. he has a way of surprising me in the most humbling of ways. yesterday it was with a surprise trip mid-april with girlfriends. he was going to wait until the last minute to tell me, but plans pending in my mind his hand was forced! so in a couple weeks i get to fly out to palm springs, CA on a long weekend to visit one of my beloved and very missed friends with another one of my girlfriends. how cool is that? i love you mikee.

Thursday, March 15, 2007 12:15 AM CDT

i was visiting with a friend this morning, (who teasingly reminded me i still lack a "shift" key on my keyboard...true dat), and we were talking about being able to witness...join in with others...and be ministered to by the suffering of others through websites especially, but just by being a part of the body of Christ. we were treasuring the sweetness of revelation. when wren was "sick" i was blessed beyond measure by the very presence of God. it was such as never before his birth...nor has it been since. for such a time as this. not that i don't believe God's Holy Spirit is reserved only for trials and tribulations...quite the contrary. there is just something precious about the blanket God provides in our darkest hour. yesterday and today were 2 days in a very long time where i just "felt" that sweetness. as i was driving and praying yesterday i started thinking about the valleys of our lives. the times when we've hit rock bottom and there seems no where else to go but to look up. only yesterday such a vision occurred to me and it looked like this. i was falling from the top of a very large mountain and below i could see the rocks of the valley. fully expecting to land on top of these rocks i suddenly found myself caught mid air by the arms of God. they were soft, strong and secure. enveloping and reassuring. i layed there for a minute suspended over the rocks below and as i relaxed in complete surrender i thought, "God, even at my rock bottom, i have still been caught in your arms. and my rock bottom is not yours. my rock bottom is circumstantial and irrelevant....because no matter if i'm at the top of my mountain, at the bottom or somewhere in between...i'm still in your arms. you have everything beyond your arms covered if i would just trust and obey." i thought, not everything that happens on this earth is from God. the world is full of every kind of evil, but what reassurance do i have knowing that my God is one step ahead of even the most horrid event. what satan has intended for evil, God WILL use for good. it doesn't matter what it is...God knows exactly what move to make to cause glory to come from tragedy. he is ALWAYS one step ahead. then today i was once again reminded of the place of sweet surrender. someone was giving a sermon on KJLY and he was talking about fasting and praying. he said you know when you've hit that place of complete loss. the place where you say, "God...i don't even know what to think about the thing that i don't know about. i am at such a place of complete loss that i am powerless. there is nothing i can do. no knowledge i can gain. no power i can plea. nothing absolutely nothing that can change the circumstance i am in. i am POWERLESS. i don't even know what answer to pray for. i don't know what the right way is. i don't know what your will is for this situation at hand. it is so far beyond my control and my power that i am just completely lost....i am powerless." and it is in that place that you are literally forced into complete surrender by the most loving and most awesome hands. to take away any presumption that you could go it alone. to not even see a way out except through his love and his will. it is there that you find utter rest and complete confidence because you KNOW that his will WILL be done. there is no other way. it is such a place of heartfelt loss and spiritual gain. it has been the best and the worst place i have ever been...and what i have to remind me now is that falling from my mountain, my rock bottom is still in his arms and it is not his rock bottom. it is merely the place where he has caught me and reminded me that he is still there and he is still in control. PRAISE GOD. i literally shouted "AMEN!" in my car this morning. it has been a long time since i've done that. ;-) "AMEN!"

have a blessed day. be a blessing and be blessed.

Sunday, February 25, 2007 10:41 PM CST

halle is in awe of the new snow from the weekend.

so, we've been working with the kids lately on sleeping in their OWN beds and all the way through the night. it seems consistency and perseverence are the keys to making this work. tonight, however, we learned that they may not be coming into our room...but they get as close as possible to us without us actually seeing them. (coughing is a dead give-away to a child hiding in the hall.) michael put wren to bed tonight around 8:00. he got out of bed and came downstairs and stood in the hallway out of our view 3 times before 9:00. each time, i would either be walking into the laundry room to change the clothes out and see him, or we could hear him cough. he was standing just so so he could see the t.v. and each time when michael would bring him back up the stairs to his room, mike would look very sternly at him and say, "wren, this is not okay. you need to stay in bed tonight." and then walk him up. at about 10:30 we heard coughing in the hallway and assumed he has meandered his way back down and was hiding around the corner watching t.v. i went to get him so we could neb him and put him back to bed...to my surprise i found him curled up by the front door like a little puppy. it is COLD up by the front door, and that alone was enough to break our hearts. who knows how long he was there sleeping on the floor....but he sure wasn't going to tell us! just to be close to us....oh, the sweetness of childhood. needless to say, mikee carried him up to his bed this time. he didn't even flinch, so we know he was in a pretty deep sleep! sweet story for the night.

Wednesday, February 21, 2007 11:46 PM CST

most of you, if you are from minnesota, have heard of the tragic incident with the kruger family in waseca. hilary has a webpage, and i am posting the link at the bottom. please keep her and zak in your prayers as they start what seems an impossible journey to health and healing.

Monday, February 19, 2007 9:32 PM CST

Happy Birthday to you, Happy birthday to you, Happy birthday dear Halle.....Happy birthday to you.

it really does feel like just yesterday that i was kissing her sweet face for the first time. so much has happened in her 1 year, a big blur i feel would appropriately describe it. i'm writing this 1 night early because after the kids are in bed is always the best time! waking hours don't submit themselves to being very time efficient when it comes to the computer. there are a great many things i can do multi-taskingly as a mother, wife and friend...i can talk on the phone while emptying the dishwasher and changing the laundry for example. or i can cook dinner and help emma with her homework while giving wren a tube feed. updating a webpage, emailing, or doing anything that requires both hands and my mind all at once though are pretty off limits when all 3 kids are home. i've been guilt stricken all day over having fallen into the trap of the third child syndrome. emma's first birthday was a HUGE circus themed great gathering. wren's was quaint, but only because it had to be. he was still on the vent. halle's third birthday? i feel lucky that i remembered it WAS her birthday! not that she is any less important or any less special than the other two...she just happens to be caught in the middle of life in full swing. before i knew it, her birthday was here and i still hadn't planned a party. good going! she will have a party...just belated. there, my guilty confession.

halle's life has brought up so many incredible things in mine. not that this is about me...but since i'm the one writing it, i'm also the one relating it. her life has brought out many issues that i had burried after wren was born. things that needed to be dealt with by me, and some things i didn't even know existed. she has been such a blessing (as all children are) and is the caboose i longed for for so long. i have to admit, i don't know the first thing about being the mother of 3. i came from a family of 2 children, and my brother and i were pretty much perfect. (haha). my kids are gracious with my blunders and patient with my shortcomings. God is merciful in filling in the gaps....and seeing as how there are quite a few, that gives me comfort in the hopes that there is more of Him than me coming through in this thing called parenthood. i find myself nightly falling asleep to the thoughts of, "i should have....today." or "why did i...??? that was not so smart." or "oh! sweet emma, she must be feeling ....because of.....! what have i done?!?!?" or "did i spend enough time with wren today?" "did i remember to tell each one how much i love them?" ....and on and on. you know the thoughts. these are the very thoughts that have taught me to rebuke the lies of satan and claim the promises of Christ. i suppose when my parenting years are through (oh, wait....are they ever through?) i will have one or two things that i'll wish had done differently. one more hug and kiss i'll have wanted to share. one more night time story. one more snuggle in the middle of the night. but to be able to lay it all down and face no regrets because of God's mercy...that's what i would really want. for me and for my kids. i want them to be safe and secure in the knowledge that no, i am not good enough and i am not everything to them....but God is. and God has put me in charge of them for such a time as this, and He will see them through every valley and every mountain in life. to find their hope and their identity in who He is. That is my birthday wish. (halle told me i could have hers....she really didn't know what to wish for!) :-) so, with that being said, good night. sleep tight. don't let the bugs bite. (and as my uncle Bob used to say) and if they do, take your shoe and beat them 'till their black and blue.

Saturday, February 17, 2007 3:15 PM CST

deep breath....inhale....through my nose.....all the way....okay, exhale....whooooooooh. that is how i would best explain this week. one big breath of fresh air. we went to mazatlan with 5 other couples and stayed at an indescribable resort. just breathtaking. (you can tell we don't do this very much!) for the first 5 days, i couldn't have ordered more perfect weather. we did everything from bowling to snorkling, from massages to midnight walks on the beach, from golfing to shopping to EATING! the food was incredible everywhere we went and i'm pretty sure of the many things i packed to bring home, 10 lbs. is definitely one of them! michael and i found a dish called molcahete and fell head over heels for it. but we had an eclectic assortment of other things too...just to say we did. :-) God, in His infinite wisdom, put us in a place where we did not get reception on our cell phones and it was $2/min to call the US from our room. being the planners we are, we did not purchase any phone cards here in the US SO!!!!! we were left pretty much without contact to the home front. we did use skype one afternoon and talked briefly to emma mid week...but other than that, that world and this one did not colide which equaled that much more relaxation. if i didn't know anything was wrong back here, i couldn't worry about it. and i didn't. the week, literally, was worry free. the biggest thing that crossed our minds was where we were going to get our next meal. spoilage would probably be the correct terminology! and other than a short blip at the airport (which almost resulted in michael and i being stuck in mazatlan while the others came home...long story) it was a flawless week. the company and fellowship were intimate and witty and fun-loving, and in a nut shell we had the blessings poured upon us by the love that surrounded us. it was good to be in the midst of this dynamic.
of course, vacation is not without it's sacrifice. while we were away emma lost her first tooth and halle took her first steps. it was a little hard for me to hear at first, but i was as proud as a button and so excited for their accomplishments! on here are a couple pictures of the view and the look of relaxation. :-) praying everyone is enjoying the cold and looking forward to spring all the same. i know i have more to write, but for now this is it! i have a bit of reality to catch up on (aka - laundry and getting in the groove of motherhood again. i did miss it, and i love it. it was good to miss it for me. ;-) until next time....God bless.

Saturday, February 3, 2007 10:50 PM CST

mikee and i are taking a long needed vacation at the end of this week. we have not "vacationed" alone since our honeymoon, really. we had emma the following year and after she turned old enough to leave we had wren...and he took care of the next 3 years with halle taking care of the following. all of a sudden we find ourselves on the brink of 8 years of marriage and an incredible opportunity to steal away for a bit. we have a great mantarage of people coming to take care of our babes while we are away. everyone should have an awesome time i would have to believe! please be praying for safe travels for mike and i and for the safekeeping of our kids while we are away! God is good, all the time. All the time, God is good. so good.

ah, yes. and as a fun side note, emma is becoming quite the reader and writer these days. (which i do not remember doing in kindergarten!) i was upstairs cleaning the other day and she came up and informed me she had written a letter to a friend's hampster. and it went (and looked) exactly like this. keep in mind she did it with no help!

"DEr
OP
I HoP UO HAV
A gUD TIm
in uor CAJ"

and then she signed her name at the top. the hampster's name is opie as in andy g. show. very cute!

Tuesday, January 16, 2007 9:13 AM CST

after wren was born, i would dream of the day he could climb into bed with us (no tubes attatched) to just cuddle. now we can't seem to get them out! :-)

i keep putting this off mostly because i really don't have much to report...but also because it just doesn't "feel" right to babble when i don't have much to report. but alas, i do need to post a couple more website addresses. my failure to do so before the holidays left me feeling contrite and guilty. (knowing it should have been done long ago.) and so, with that...more prayer. need i ask more? and please continue to keep jill in your prayers.

www.caringbridge.org/visit/jenniferlisowe
www.caringbridge.org/visit/gracestoffel
www.caringbridge.org/visit/babygreta

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