History

Friday, June 29, 2012 11:41 AM CDT

I know it has been far too long since there has been an update. With Facebook it seems like everyone stays in touch that way.

Well, as most of you know Ryan is 12 years old today. This is his 7th birthday celebrated in Heaven. I am sure he is having a great time.

We really do miss him. Elizabeth and Lucas talk about him all the time. They really wish they had their big brother here with them.

The Brown's are doing good. Phillip is medically retired from the Army and Andrea is working at the hospital near where they live. The kids are getting big. They are always involved in some kind of sport. They both just finished flag football and are about to finish up softball and T ball. I think in the fall Luke is going to play football and Bess will be playing soccer again.

I wish I could say that as the years go by it gets easier to live without Ryan in our everyday life, but it does not. In many ways it is more difficult. THere is such a HUGE difference between 5 years old and 12 years old. What would he be like now? Would he still enjoy soccer? He always wanted to play baseball - would he be playing baseball now? How would he be with the other two kids? So many questions that we will never have an ansswer to.

Thanks for stopping by, please sign the guestbook.

Love to all - Nana Sherry

Friday, August 27, 2010 7:05 AM CDT

Hello everyone - Well, the big day is here. Today is Relay for Life and Ryan's Beelievers is raring to go. We have our pirate ship built and our eye patches. Ryan's Beelievers will be "Exploring for a Cure on the High Seas".

I pray one day we find the treasure - a cure for cancer. When Papa D forwarded a fundraiser notice to a member of his family, he received in reply a letter chastising him for hoping. Or, at least that was my interpretation of the letter. I relay to keep Ryan's memory alive in the heart and minds of others. I relay to provide hope for other families. I relay so I can be part of the promise to others that we will not give up.

The Brown's are doing good. Elizabeth is in the first grade and Lucas is in pre K. Lucas has Ms. Sharon - you all remember Ms. Sharon. Sharon was Ryan's pre K teacher and they fell in love the minute they laid eyes on each other.

Mimi is getting married October 9th. I have two more grandchildren on the way. On October 9th, I will officially have Jordan and Jarod as grandchildren. Welcome to the family Rodney, Jordan, and Jarod.

Well, time to wrap this up and get ready for Relay.

Pray for everyone that Relays everywhere raising money to find a cure. Pray our team raises $15,000.00 so I have to shave my head(we are accepting last minute donations). Go to the photo page and look at the raffle item we have. For $10 you get my wingspan of tickets. You can mail me the money and I will mail the prize to you.

Pray, pray for a cure, pray for hope, pray.

loveyamissyaseeyalater,

Nana Sherry

Wednesday, July 14, 2010 10:03 PM CDT

Hello everyone -

On Friday, July 9th Phillip received his Purple Heart. It is one of the military awards no one ever wants to receive, but he deserves it. Thank you Phillip for all you have done and continue to do to protect our freedom.

On Saturday, July 10th we marked the fifth anniversary of Ryan earning his angel wings. I was in Kentucky for the Purple Heart ceremony along with Mema Pat, Aunt Kathy and Papa D. So, we released balloons to let him know we love him and we miss him.

Dad took the training wheels off of Elizabeth's bike Saturday and she is riding all over. No accidents yet. Luke took a spill on his bike tonight. The bike wreck didn't hurt him, but he landed in a nest of fire ants. Luckily, Daddy was closed, picked him up and brushed the ants off.

If you happen to be within driving distance of Hannibal, MO on Saturday, July 17th , please come by Wendy's. The Second Annual Ryan's Beelievers Day at the Wendy's in Hannibal will be lots of fun. Good food, good company, and a chance to win prizes. Please come by.

I can't really think of anything else on this update. Aunt Carol - the deal was if I updated more often - you would leave a message on the guestbook. WELL????

Keep the Brown family in your prayers. Please pray for out troops and their families.

God Bless You All -

Nana Sherry

Friday, July 9, 2010 4:17 PM CDT

Good afternoon -

Update on the Brown's -

Phillip received his Purple Heart today. It was a moving ceremony. As part of the ceremony the family of a Viet Nam Veteran received his Silver Star and there was a memorial dedicated to the 1-502nd Viet Nam Veterans. I was holding Evie during the ceremony. I only shed a few tears when Phillip received the Purple Heart. But, when they played taps at the end of the ceremony I held Evie very tight, cried like a baby and prayed for her Dad who is currently serving in Afghanistan.

The kids are doing good. They are enjoying the summer with the little ones.

Remember to order your Keep Beelieving t shirts. Also, we are having Ryan's Beelievers day in Hannibal Missouri next Saturday.

Now a message from Bess -
gtjoijvfikjfi jbjcbjbjcbdsbc cbkcjbndkccoihnc chdchkdch
nlwidjiow owdjopdj pwodjdpjn odpjd djidj nncn
l;mcd;lm;lm;lm cmwl;cmwcmw cnlkcnwlc jcjc;jcjcoe lknclnc
l'cmlc mccm;lcm;mwpchrghghgorpoef neknvivineovnvinvovnoivnon

Now a message from Luke -
s.s.x.x.Ccldsl;;l;;l;l';';;lw;'wq';;'s;'w;s'
asmkjhgfdsa

Remember to pray for our troops and their families.

God Bless -
Nana Sherry

Tuesday, June 29, 2010 10:09 AM CDT

HAPPY BIRTHDAY RYAN!!!

Ten years ago today we were gathered at the hospital anxiously awaiting the arrival of Ryan Douglas Brown. He arrived around 4:45pm with ten finger, ten toes, two arms, two legs, and a head full of hair. His Mommy and Daddy just glowed when they held him in their arms.

Five years ago today we celebrated Ryan's fifth birthday at home. It was a quiet day with his Mommy, Daddy, and Bess. I was there, but spent most of the day in the other room or outside to give them time alone with their small family. We had asked for no visitors and no phone calls that day so they could spend the day together. After all, we knew this would be the last birthday Ryan spent with his family here on earth. The family couldn't stand the thought of doing nothing on that day, so Meme put together Operation Balloon Drop. We started receiving deliveries of balloons and more balloons and more balloons. There were over 150 balloons delivered that day.

Ryan's mobility was very limited at this time. But he would get up with the help of his walker he would go through the house and hit every balloon. He had so much fun with all of the balloons.

Ryan - everywhere we go people tell us how you touched their life and continue to touch their lives. You truly were a miracle. Knowing the impact you had on people in your short time here makes me feel so good. Not everyone can be the Nana to such a special little guy. We miss you and will always miss you. We love you and will always love you. There is such a void when the family gets together, but we feel your presence everywhere. People were drawn to you like bees to honey.

Watch the skies today - we are sending you balloons filled with love. Please release a balloon or as many as you would like from wherever you are today. We are hoping to have 150 balloons floating up to the sky as he looks down.

Today, he can run and hit the balloons without a walker and without pain.

Today we celebrate Ryan's tenth birthday. Ryan is celebrating in heaven, the rest of us here on earth.

Happy Birthday Buddy!!!

loveyoumissyouseeyoulater Booby Dooby!!

Sunday, June 27, 2010 10:37 PM CDT

Hi everyone -

Don't pass out - I am actually doing two journals in one month. I kind of got in trouble by my Aunt Carol for not doing a better job with keeping up with this. LOVE YOU AUNT CAROL!!!

The Brown's are hosting Andrea's cousin Lisa and her family this week. Joe (Lisa's son) is thinking of joining the Army after high school and wanted to see what it was like on an Army post.

For anyone who is not on facebook, Andrea and I have been posting a Ryan memory everyday. Most have been pretty amusing since he was a pretty funny kid most of the time.

Ryan will be 10 years old on June 29th and will have had his wings five years on July 10th. This year seems to be especially difficult. Five years is such a short time to be a little boy and such a long time to be away from his Mommy and Daddy. I think the hard thing for us is - after this anniversary he will have been an angel longer than he was with us.

We are at the time of year when everyday brings with it a memory that Phillip, Andrea and I try to block out. The days when he was so sick and was suffering so much. I know we had family that at the time didn't understand the kids decision to keep that time private, but believe me - you really didn't want to be there and see what he went through.

On Tuesday, June 29th in memory of Ryan's 10th birthday we are asking our friends all over the world to release at least one red or yellow balloon for Ryan. I hope I can count on some balloons from Scotland going up Rosie.

If you recall on his fifth birthday we had OPERATION BALLOON DROP orchestrated by Meme. She contacted family and friends trying to have 100 balloons delivered to him on his fifth birthday and we ended up with 150. So, we are hoping to have at last 100 balloons release on his birthday.

Lucas and Elizabeth are doing fine. They are spending as much time in the pool as possible. Andrea says it is even too hot to do that most days.

Andrea is doing her internship for Pharmacy Tech and then I believe has one more class to go before she finishes school.

Daddy has something going on - but I will have him get on here ane tell his news.

Please keep our soldiers and their families in your prayers. Pray for sick and abused children everywhere.

God Bless All -

Nana Sherry

Wednesday, June 16, 2010 8:33 PM CDT

Hello everyone -

I did a journal earlier today and then accidently wiped it out. I need to apologize for waiting almost three months to do a post.

The Browns have been busy. Andrea is taking finals this week and then she only has one term left in school. Between kids, school and Phillip she stays really busy.

Phillip is still protecting our freedom and doing a great job of it I might add. He was truly meant to be a soldier - I am so proud of him.

Elizabeth is growing up so fast - she just finished kindergarten. Still very active with soccer, she attended soccer camp a few weeks ago and loved it. Last week she spent the week with Nana and Meme. We had a day of pampering with having our hair done and then manicure and pedicures. I took her to work and when my team lead asked what we were going to eat for lunch - Bess said ,"POOP!" That's my girl.

We also participated in the largest Susan G Komen race for the cure. Elizabeth was very excited, but the crowd made her tired fast. There were over 71,000 people walking the streets of St. Louis.

Lucas is growing up fast. He attended soccer camp last week and really enjoyed it. He is quite the clown and there is never a dull moment with Luke around.

Last month he was visiting Nana and fell on the scooter. A quick trip to the ER and he left with two stitches on the top of his head.

We are in the 5 weeks of summer yukkies. This is the time of year that Ryan was so sick. His birthday is coming up on June 29th and he earned his angel wings July 10, 2005. It seems different this year. I think it is because after July 10th, he will be in Heaven longer than he was on earth and that is tough to deal with.

Ryan's Beelievers Relay for Life team is going strong. We have t shirts to sell, Tupperware to raffle off, the second annual Ryan Brown Bowl a thon is the 26th and 27th of June. If you are looking for a great way to spend a nice quiet day next month you can drive up to Hannibal to see the Mark Twain sights and then have lunch at Wendy's for the second annual Ryan Brown day.

I will try no to wait so long before I do my next post. Keep praying for a cure!!

God Bless You All -

Nana Sherry

Friday, March 26, 2010 8:52 AM CDT

Hello everyone -

The Brown's have been staying really busy lately. For anyone not on Facebook, the kids moved back on post. They have a really nice house with a park across the street.

Elizabeth is going to a new school and she is doing good. They are all adjusting pretty good to their new environment.

Soccer season has started again for Bess. She is really good and loves the chance to play. I am already saving money for my trip to the Olympics when she makes Team USA.

Luke will be celebrating his 4th birthday soon. He is a little rotten, but what four year old boy isn't?

March 17th was the 6th anniversary of the day our world turned upside down. That was the day we were given the diagnosis and prognosis around Ryan's illness.

Everyday holds Ryan memories, but as everyone knows there are days that cause you to relive specific memories. This time of year is riddled with days like that.

We just made it passed the day of diagnosis. Coming up is the day his port was put in, the day he started radiation, the day RMH became their vacation home. So many days that bring a wide array of memories. Then in just a few months we will celebrate his 10th birthday without him. He will have celebrated as many birthdays in Heaven that he celebrated with his Mom and Dad.

Andrea and Phillip have been having alot of the days when they miss him more than others. Big changes in their life (the move) always brings with it the wonder of "Would Ryan like the house?" "Who would his teacher be?" "Would he make new friends easily?" But I think the biggest question most of us wonder about is, what would he be like today?

We are in full swing for Relay for Life. If you are interested in donating to the Ryan's Beelievers Relay for Life team, you can go to: www.relayforlife.org/pikecomo. Our team is so big we had to divide into multiple teams. To find the person you want to add the donation to, you may have to try lookng at several of the Ryans Beelievers teams. Just add a number 1, 2 or 5 behind the team name.

We have an ongoing fundraiser also. We are selling KEEP BEELIEVING shirts. To look at the shirt and place your order, go to:http://www.greaterthangoods.com/merchant.mvc?Screen=CTGY&Store_Code=GTG&Category_Code=BEELIEVERS.

The shirts are $15.00 and if you order online they will be delivered direct to your door. I wll try to get links to the Relay team and the t shirts on here for you.

To honor on the 5th anniversary of earning his angel wings, I would like to hear his name read at least 100 times. Please order your luminaria by contacting me or Andrea. Each $5 donation puts a luminaria at the relay and shows how loved Ryan is.

Please pray for all of the families dealing with tragedy in
their life. Pray for our troops and their families.

God Bless Everyone!!!

Nana Sherry

Monday, July 13, 2009 3:29 PM CDT

Hi everyone - I know it has been a long time. Andrea and Phillip are doing good. We all know what a rough time of year this is for them. Elizabeth and Lucas continue to grow. They are in swim lessons now and Elizabeth is part dolphin.

For those of you not on Facebook - Lucas had his tonsils out about a month ago. He just didn't seem to recover very good. Then about a week later, he had to have emergency surgery to repair hemorraging in his throat. When they fixed it, he bounced right back to health.

Elizabeth starts kindergarten in the fall. It does not seem like she should be that old. She acts like she is going on 18 sometimes.

Ryan's 9th birthday was June 29th. Nine years old seems so much older than 5. I wonder what he would be like at nine years old. This past Friday was the fourth anniversary of Ryan earning his angel wings.

Elizabeth talks about him alot. She says she remembers him. I think she does. She talks all of the time about how much she misses him.

Keep Andrea and Phillip in your prayers. Please pray for all of the Caringbridge families and for our military families all over the world.

God Bless You All -

Nana Sherry

Monday, June 29, 2009 1:35 AM CDT

We have had a lot going on over the last few months since my last journal. I will hopefully get on here and let you all know what we have been up too.

Tonight I just wanted to tell my baby boy:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY! You would be 9 yrs old today! It is your 4th birthday in Heaven! We will celebrate together again someday. I Love You and I Miss You!

Tuesday, March 24, 2009 0:26 AM CDT

So, a week ago, was the anniversary of diagnosis. It was 5 years ago on March 17, 2009 that Ryan was diagnosed with an Infiltrating Pontine Glioma. Our world was turned upside down. We had no idea what to do or where to go from those words "Your son has an inoperable brain tumor, and the prognosis is 6 to 9 months" We read and researched, we had no idea what the future would hold.

We did everything we possibly could to make Ryan's life as normal as possible, while still trying to fit a lifetime of memories in less than a year. I sometimes look back and wonder how the heck did we survive. I realize it was he who helped us get through, Ryan was the one who was strong, he was the one who held everyone up. He was an amazing person for being so young.

In the last five years, among many other things, we have added two new babies to our family, Ryan passed away, and Phillip has been through 2 deployments to Iraq.

The kids are doing wonderful. We will actually registar Elizabeth for kindergarten next week. Can you believe it? Where does the time go? She will be 5 years old in May. I don't think Lucas will know what to do without her around all the time. They have each other, and it is wonderful to watch them play, they do fight a lot also. They are so protective of one another, and you can see the love they have for one another. Lucas thinks he should be able to do everything Elizabeth does, and occassionally Elizabeth likes to think she is still a baby. Lucas will be 3 years old in about 2 weeks.

Phillip has been back and forth to the doctors. They still do not have definite answers on what is causing his muscle spasms or migraines. He continues to try new medications, go to new doctors, and try different techniques to help his pain levels. He was in the hospital for about a week, 2 weeks ago. They wanted to get his migraines under control, they did more harm than good, while he was there. It is something, I will not go into great detail about, lets just say, they gave him way to much medicine, and he almost didn't come home to us. They are investigating the situation now. He should be going to a new unit, Warriors Transition Unit (WTU), his main focus in this unit will be to get better. It is designed for wounded soldiers and their families. I think it will make things so much easier on him, because the unit is designed to help him. The unit he is with, is awesome and tries to help so much, but there is only so much they can do or know how to do. They are not set up to deal with the wounded, they are set up to train and go off to war. Once he is better, he will be able to return to his old unit, which we are very thankful for, unless we decide to move to another post, which is a very good possibility.

As you know, I am currently going to school. I am in finals week at the moment. They are 12 week terms, which is nice but doesn't give you a lot of time to get through the material. I should graduate with my associates degree in June 2010. I am going for pharmacy tech, but think I may try to work my way up to pharmacology and become a pharmacist. I have loved working in the pharmacy for basically the last 10 years. I started off while in high school, and wanted to go college for pharmacology originally, but found out I was pregnant with Ryan. I did not think that was the best decision at the time, a new baby, and such a time consuming degree. I realize now it was for the better, and I think I will enjoy my degree much more now than I would have previously. I know now that I LOVE working with medicine. I love being able to help people with questions about their medications. It is very rewarding. You not only have to know your job, but the job of the doctors also, because patients want to know what the medications are for, and why they were prescribed. You have to be able to answer all of those questions from many different stand points. It is very challenging, and if you know me, you know I love a challenge.

So, two journals in one month, you are probably going to think something is really wrong here, especially since I did them both. I was just having a rough time when I wrote the last one, and I don't like leaving those up for very long. So, I thought I would post a new one, a bit more positive one.

I did post new pictures of Lucas and Elizabeth. Phillip told me I should post a different picture of Lucas, not put his name, and see if anyone realized it was him or if everyone thought it was Ryan. Let me tell you what, he is the spitting image of his brother, personality and looks. It is uncanny!

One more thing, Phillip drove by the house on post today, while Elizabeth was with him. We have not talked about that house, nor do we drive by it very often. It has been two years since we have lived there and Elizabeth was not even 3 years old when we moved out of the house. She pointed to the house while driving down the road, without Phillip saying anything at all, and said "That was my house, we used to live there, when I was a baby!" So it makes us think she remembers more about Ryan than we thought she did, she was so young, but she proved to us today that she remembers more than we give her credit.

Have a Wonderful Spring!

Enjoy the Pictures, and We look forward to your guestbook entries.

Love and Hugs,
Andrea

Thursday, March 5, 2009 9:14 AM CST

I am going to school right now, for pharmacy. In one of my classes, Strategies for Success, we have to picture where are life will be once we graduate, also in 5 years and 10 years.

We did this chart with the what ages our family members will be in 1, 5, 10 years. She constanly wants us to picture our lives, I have a hard time doing that, since I don't plan to much into the future, especially not 5 years. A lot of things can change in that time frame, if it is not something you are expecting you get highly upset about what life has thrown at you. You can't possibly predict what the future will hold, so I really try to avoid thinking that far ahead. I work better living in the moment. In 5 years, who would have predicted I was going to bury my first born, in 5 years who would have predicted, I would have another son with heart disease, and my heart would get worse. Who in 5 years would have predicted my husband would get in the Army, deploy to Iraq, and we would move away from our family? Some of this was between the 5 and 10 yr mark, but mostly 5 years. So we cannot predict the future, I do have goals and dreams, I just don't plan a lot in advance, months yes, years no!

So, we did this chart, in five years Lucas will be 7 yrs old and Elizabeth will be 9 yrs old, both surpassing their brother, Ryan would be 13 yrs old. Although that was amazing to me, it was the 10 yrs that really bothered me, in 10 yrs Lucas will be 12 yrs, Elizabeth will be 14 yrs, but Ryan would be 18 yrs old. He would be graduating High School in 10 yrs. So, it was kind of a hard thing to swallow, knowing that in 10 short yrs, because time does go by faster every year, my baby boy would graduate high school and go onto college. What would he major in? How would he like school? What would he look like? Would he be a solid boy or a thin boy? How would he get along with Lucas and Elizabeth? It is just a few of the questions that went through my head after writing this chart out. I know how old he would be, I know when he will turn 18, it just took my by surprise.

Elizabeth will be 5 yrs old in May. I am very nervous, after she turns 5, all of this will be new territory for me. I have never had a 5 yr old, for longer than 11 days. I have never had a child go to school. Ryan died 11 days after his 5th birthday and a month before kindergarten started. It is bringing on a lot of emotions.
March 17, 2009 will be 5 yrs since cancer entered our lives. So, 5 yrs ago if someone asked me what do I see 5 yrs from now, it wouldn't have been without Ryan.

I am happy with my family, I love them SO much! I wouldn't trade my children for the world. It is just different. It is really hard to explain. I am happy, but I feel guilty for being happy sometimes. It is of course harder on somedays than it is on others. Since, Monday when we had to see our lives in those time frames, it has been a bit more difficult, only because I see a future of what would have been and a future of what will be. One future has all 3 of my babies, the other future only has 2 of my babies. It is much better than only having 1 or none, still difficult though.

If anyone knew Ryan when he was 3 or 4 yrs old, you should see Lucas. He looks JUST like Ryan, but his face isn't quite as full. He acts just like him too. It is amazing the resemblance of the two, I never thought it would be possible to have 2 children look so much alike. They seriously could have been identical twins, looks and attitude. Elizabeth has also picked up on some of Ryan's antics, she acts a lot like him too. It is so amazing to watch them, and see him in them. It does make it easier, because he is still so much apart of our daily lives. Besides, these two are crazy kids, and you can be having the worst day of your life, and they can make you laugh.
My life has been very blessed with a beautiful family. I have more love in my life, than I ever dreamed. It is not just from my kids and husband either, it is from mom, dad, sister, brother, sister-in-law, nephews, aunts, uncles, cousins, Phillip's family, and all of my friends who have stood by us through all the ups and all the downs. Everyone has stuck with us through thick and thin, I could not be more blessed.

Okay, so this probably makes no sense, but I needed to get a few things out there that have been bothering me the last few days. People wonder how I deal with these things, I try to always find the positive even if it doesn't look like there is one, I count my blessings, I don't look at everything that has gone wrong, I look at everything that has gone right. It is harder on some days than others, but I try to stay positive.

Happy Thursday Everyone!

Love and Hugs,
Andrea

I am going to try very hard to get more current pictures of the kids on here.

Thursday, January 22, 2009 10:04 PM CST

Hello everyone,

I am sorry to start this journal entry with some sad news and a request for prayer. Phillip's niece, Ashlee Chandler, passed away this morning. Ashlee turned 21 on Thanksgiving day in 2008. In June of 2008, Ashlee was diagnosed with Ewings Sarcoma in her throat. The doctors treated Ashlee's cancer aggressively until November when they discovered tumors in her brain. The treatment then became more harmful than helpful. Ashlee is survived by a fiance', her parents, three sisters and a brother. Please pray for Phillip,Ashlee's family and all who knew and loved her.

The Brown's had a great Thanksgiving. I went down to visit for a week (poor Phillip), Cory and his family came down for four days, then Meme surprised us and came down Thansgiving day. We stayed at a hotel for the weekend so the kids could swim. But, what would Thanksgiving be without the big dinner - so Phillip and I got up early, went to their house and fixed dinner for everyone. Later in the day, we packed up some of the leftovers and went back to the hotel.

Naturally, we had to make a trip to Chuck E. Cheese while Ashton and Coen were in Kentucky. Ashton brought his four wheel drive truck with him, so the kids drove around the back yard in Ashton's truck and the Brown babies jeep.

Everyone had a wonderful Christmas and New Year. I went down to Kentucky the day after Christmas and spent a few days with the kids. We had so much fun playing WII.

In January the Brown's were on the move. They came up for our family Christmas at Cory and Heather's. We had a really good time together. Papa D bought Guitar Hero World Tour for the WII and we were "rockin out" Saturday night in the family room at Cory's. Brandon got his first BB gun for Christmas from Uncle Phillip and Aunt Drew, so we had to go to Mema Tracy and Papa Greg's so everyone could shoot the BB gun. Bess(Elizabeth)looked like Annie Oakley out there in the woods.

Then just a week later, the Brown's went to Mema Pat and Papa Bob's for their Christmas Celebration with them. They had a really good visit, received cool gifts, and saw most of Phillip's family. After two weekends in a row in Missouri, they are exhausted.

Elizabeth reminds us quite often that her name is now Bess - nothing else just Bess. We are not supposed to call her Elizabeth or Sissy - just Bess. For those of you that may not remember, Ashton started calling her Bess when he first started talking and he continues to call her that today. It has caught on and a great deal of the family has picked up on it. And, now it seems to be the name she prefers.

Once again I apologize for the length of time between journal entries. It seems everyone stays so busy all of the time.

Please pray for any family that has lost a loved one. Pray for the caring bridge families fighting this battle against cancer. Thank God for cancer survivors and for the chance to have been blessed with the love of those who didn't survive.

Continue to pray for our military men and women and their families. Pray for our government leaders as they search for a way to help our economic situation and strive for peace.

God Bless You All,
Nana Sherry

Tuesday, October 7, 2008 11:10 PM CDT

Hello everyone,

Well, Phillip is out of the hospital and the Brown's are back home. There is still not a solid diagnosis on what is going on with him.

The Brown's have been busy since they got back to Kentucky. Right now Sissy is sick with strep throat and a stomach virus.

Andrea is in the swing of things with college and Phillip will be starting classes soon. I am so proud of them for taking these major steps.

Lucas continues to grow and entertain. He looks so much like Ryan did at that age. He definitely is a clown and likes to make everyone laugh. Elizabeth is quite the little mother. She just tries her best to take care of Lucas except when she is hitting him.

I will try to keep you up to date on Phillip. Thank you for your prayers.

Please pray for our troops and their families.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008 8:45 AM CDT

Hi everyone,

We recently had our annual Pike County relay for Life. It was great. I will go into more about that in a few days.

I wanted to let everyone know that while the kids were in Missouri attending the Relay and visiting with family, Phillip's conditioned worsened. While they were at my house, he had an extremely bad episode and we called 911. He has been hospitalized in St. Peters, MO and they are trying to pinpoint the cause of his pain and weakness.

The Dr. in Missouri has repeated the MRI and it came back normal. They have started physical therapy and occupational therapy on him. They are continuing to look into the weakness in his legs.

Right now, we still do not have any idea what may be the problem but they seem to be fairly proactive and hope to find a cause.

Please keep Phillip, Andrea and the kids in your prayers.

Remember our service men and women as well as their families.

I will keep you updated.

Nana Sherry

Wednesday, September 3, 2008 9:14 AM CDT

Hello everyone,

Sorry it has been so long since the last journal. The kids are continuing to stay really busy. Phillip is still home and we still don't have a diagnosis. So, regular visits to the doctor has become part of their daily life.

Elizabeth is now a budding soccer star. Who knows, someday I may be travelling to a foreign country to watch her in the Olympics. Her first practice was last night so I don't think I need to book an airline ticket to anywhere yet. I was at their house a few weeks ago and she was telling me without hesitation everything I was doing wrong while we were practicing together. She insisted all of her soccer equipment be pink.

Lucas is growing fast and has become very independent. His favorite phrase is, "I do it". He asks to go potty, but just hasn't quite mastered the concept yet.

The four wheeler is now at Andrea and Phillip's and the two little ones ride it quite a bit. I have to tell you, Lucas in that helmet is like going back in time. He does really good driving the jeep and the four wheeler. Elizabeth, not so much. It is a good thing we have a few years until she starts driving.

The Relay for Life is rapidly approaching. There is still time to get your money in for luminaria.

I do have some very sad news to pass on - our dear Heather lost her Grandma Peggy to cancer on Monday, September 1. Grandma Peggy has been fighting the beast for quite awhile. Please keep Heather's family in your prayers. Grandma Peggy will be missed.

Remember the men and women of our Armed Forces on foreign soil fighting for our freedom. Please pray for the military families, they are the unsung heroes.

Pray for caringbridge families everywhere. Please donate to cancer research through our relay team, the American Cancer Society, or the charity of your choice. The only way we will win this battle is together.

God Bless You All-
Nana Sherry

Wednesday, July 9, 2008 9:24 PM CDT

Hello everyone -

I made the mistake tonight of looking back at journal entries from three years ago. It is not like I have to read the journal to remember what was happening in our lives on July 9, 2005.

Andrea and Phillip have taken Lucas and Elizabeth on a mini vacation so they can stay busy tomorrow. We all know that no matter how busy you stay it doesn't keep you from thinking about the painful things in your life.

Lucas and Elizabeth have a puppy. They have a Jack Russell Terrier named Molly. They bought Molly a new bed yesterday. They took the bed home and put in the place they wanted it. First, Elizabeth climbed in the bed and tried to lay down. It was too small. Next Lucas climbed in the bed and curled up. Elizabeth covered him with his "ginky" (blanket). He looked up at his Mom and Dad then said, "I go night, night - ok?" They have now established the fact that the new bed belongs to Molly.

Thank you for your prayers and support - the journey isn't over yet. Pray for all caringbridge families.

Pray for the men and women of our armed forces defending our country worldwide. Pray for their families - the unsung heroes.

God Bless -
Nana Sherry

Saturday, June 28, 2008 7:17 PM CDT

Hello everyone,

Well, tomorrow our little buddy will be eight years old. It is hard not to sit and think about what he would be like at eight. It seems so much older than five.

It seems like the days leading up to Ryan's birthday has been harder and more emotional on all of us this year. Andrea and I both had very weepy days yesterday.

The Brown family is doing good. Phillip is home and that makes things much easier on both of them. They are staying busy with Elizabeth and Lucas. And, since owning your own home is a never ending work in progress - they are staying busy with the house.

The rest of the family is doing good. Coen will soon be a year old, Ashton is almost three and Tony will be the big fifteen. Brandon just celebrated number twelve and Brady is ten. Of course, everyone knows Elizabeth turned four in May and Lucas turned two in April. They are all growing up so fast.

We are working on Relay for Life. You still have time to order your luminaria or sign up to be a member of our team.

Please pray for our troops and their loved ones. Pray for all caring bridge families. Pray for the people in Missouri where the floods are devastating small towns along the Mississippi. Louisiana, MO has been hit pretty hard.

Sign up for Relay For Life.

God Bless You All.

Nana Sherry

Wednesday, June 11, 2008 11:32 PM CDT

I tell ya, Nana is not doing a very good job. LOL!

Phillip is actually home. He came back to the states about a week ago. They still have no idea what is wrong with him or why his body is in so much pain. He is going to have some tests run in the next few days. As of right now, he does not have to go back until they find out what is wrong and they fix him. They do not suspect him to have to go back to Iraq this deployment, depending on what is wrong he may be non-deployable period. Nana or I will keep you as posted as possible on what is going on with him.

We are doing much better here now that he is home. The kids are so excited. The first night, I seriously think Lucas thought he was dreaming. Everyday they see him when they wake up or when he picks them up from preschool, you should see the light in their eyes and the smiles on their faces. He said, going through everything he did over there was worth seeing them again, and the expressions on their faces everyday.

I have my last final tomorrow for this semester. I will be off for 2 months, and I can't wait. As of right now, we have the entire summer to do nothing or everything. It has been almost 6 years since we have had a summer with no major plans or the Army not needing Phillip for the majority of it. He is rarely home this time of year, so we are definitely super excited.

Both kids are in a part day preschool program on post. They go three mornings a week, and are on the wait list for the other two mornings. It is so nice, and they love it, except for leaving daddy.

Elizabeth and Lucas want a dog and a meow, that is what Lucas calls cats. We are supposed to be getting a fence in the next 2 weeks, so hopefully we can get them a small dog and possibly a meow. We went to the animal shelter today, and held lots of meows, the kids loved it. I think they would have taken every single one of them home if possible. They weren't to sure about the dogs, they made to much noise when we walked in, so if we do get a dog I think Phillip and I will have to pick it out without the kids. I don't know about anywhere else, but you have 7 days to take it back if things don't work out and get all your money back. We want an older dog, good with kids, already trained and housebroke. We have to wait for the fence though because we do not like tying a dog up and don't always have the time to walk them outside to go potty.

We also can't wait for the fence to contain Lucas. The quiet, shy, passive Lucas is no more. He is very outspoken, talks really well, and has an explosive personality. He is into everything and tests his limits to the fullest. Of course daddy couldn't believe how much both kids had changed in the last 8 months. Lucas didn't say but 3 words when he left and both kids were very dependent on me, they still are but in much different ways, and they both speak so much better, and of course Lucas can most definitely say more than 3 words now.

Elizabeth and Lucas love to play together. They don't like it much when one is away from the other. They certainly are very close, but they love to fight over EVERYTHING! If they have the same exact toy, they fight over that toy, it is crazy. They do play really well together also. You can certainly tell the love they have for one another, how protective they are of one another. Elizabeth is a little mother, if you are not feeling well she covers you up, brushes the hair out of your face, kisses your forehead, most anything that a mother does to make their child feel better and comfort them. It is so sweet. Lucas is a cuddler, always has been and I hope always will be.

Okay, so that is about all the update I have for now. I need to get to sleep and rest for my final in the morning.

Please continue to pray for our troops and their families. Please pray for all families with sick children and families who have lost a child.

Have a wonderful Summer!

Love to all,
Andrea

Tuesday, June 3, 2008 10:44 PM CDT

Hi everyone!

Well, as you can tell, I didn't get fired.

Congratulations to Sgt. Phillip R. Brown on your recent promotion. Way to go - we are all so proud of you.

We need to ask everyone for to pray for Phillip. He got sick last week and had to be flown to a hospital in Baghdad. He had surgery Tuesday for kidney stones. Unfortunately, he has continued to have problems and the decision was made to send him to a military hospital in Germany.

He will meet with a doctor tomorrow and hopefully we will fin out more. It has been really difficult on Phillip and Andrea because of the distance between them righ tnow.

The rest of the Brown family is doing very well. The kids are getting big. They started pre-school this week.

It is late and I still have to get pictures put in, so this is going to be a very short journal. I will keep everyone updated on Phillip's progress.

Please pray for our fighting men and women and their families. Pray for the families battling cancer and those without their loved ones at their side.

REMEMBER TO ORDER YOUR LUMINARIA FOR THE RELAY FOR LIFE!!!

Saturday, May 17, 2008 8:40 AM CDT

*******************NEW PHOTOS!***********************
So it has been two months since the last journal. I am going to have to get onto Nana for slacking on her job!

Let me see, what is going on around the Brown house.

I am currently enrolled in college. It is not a lot of fun, but it keeps me busy, helps the time pass.

The kids go to daycare a few days a week and love it. They are both getting so big.

Lucas is now two years old. Elizabeth will be 4 years old on Friday. They are changing on a daily basis, and learn new things all the time. They love the nice sunny weather, because they LOVE to be outside.

Phillip is doing okay. He is ready to come home. He will
be back before we know it. He stays pretty busy also, so between the two schedules we do not get to talk a whole lot, it makes all that much more special when we do though.

I just wanted to give you all a small update on us here in Ky!

Please continue to pray for our troops and their families. Please pray for all of the children and families living their new normal, and all of the families who have lost a child.

Love to All,
Andrea

Monday, March 17, 2008 10:20 PM CDT

Hello everyone,

Well, once again March 17th is upon us. As a child growing up, we celebrated every year on March 17th. It is my Dad's birthday and we had the green cake, corned beef and cabbage, irish potatoes, and yes - green beer. Was my Dad Irish, his name was Hugh McLaren - I would say yes. Now, when March 17th comes around I think briefly about how we would celebrate and then my thoughts quickly turn to March 17, 2004. Our world came crashing down on us that day and we were thrown into a tailspin that no family, especially no parent should ever have to go through. March 17th, 2004 was the day Ryan was diagnosed with DPG.

Before I started writing the journal tonight, I was going to look back at the old journals and gave up. It is probably better that way, looking back just makes it hurt more. As I sit here composing this journal entry, I look at Elizabeth and how beautiful she is and wonder how much she misses her brother. I know the rest of us really miss him and I can't even begin to imagine how much his Mommy and Daddy do.

I went to Kentucky this past weekend for a visit. I surprised Elizabeth by going down and surprised her even more when I took Ashton with me. They were so excited to see each other. The surprises were just beginning for both of them. Friday night Andrea, Elizabeth, Ashton and I went to Nashville to see the Doodlebops Live in Concert. They were so excited. Ashton had to maintain his serious manly composure, so he sat and watched while his silly cousin was dancing in the aisles, singing, and just putting it all out there. Then, Saturday we loaded up all three of the kids and went to Chuck E Cheese. Talk about an exciting weekend (exhausting for Nana). Then, I surprised Elizabeth by bringing her home with me. She will attend daycare where I work a few days this week and spend the rest of the time with Meme and hopefully we will make it down to Aunt Heather and Uncle Cory's. Pure excitement!!!!

Andrea and the kids are doing good in Kentucky. Phillip is doing good in his corner of the world. He has been receiving packages from some of you and he really appreciates them. He does not always have time to thank everyone personally, just know that he says thank you and the family thanks you. I think it is great when you take time out of your busy lives to send him a little pick me up. Thank you.

Lucas is beginning to talk alot and has really developed a personality. He is quite the clown and likes to make sure he is entertaining everyone around him. Elizabeth is just pure delight. You never have any idea what she is going to think up next. She has a few imaginary friends and they have alot of fun together.

Please continue to pray for our troops so far from home, not only the ones in Iraq, but everywhere. Pray for the caringbridge families that have sick children or children they can no longer hold in their arms or tuck in bed at night.

Thanks for being here for us. God Bless You All!

Nana Sherry

Ryan,
Loveyou,missyou,seeyoulater!!!

Thursday, February 21, 2008 2:24 PM CST

Hello all,

Well, we are in the grips of winter in Missouri and I am ready to loosen the grip. It is really cold and we have freezing rain, sleet, and snow coming today and tomorrow, FUN, FUN!!!

Pat and I attended the Kick off for this years Relay for Life on Tuesday night. The centerpiece for the food table was a huge bumblebee balloon. It was a nice dinner, good company, and great encouragement to forge ahead with our fundraising efforts for this year's relay.

The Relay is being held September 19 and 20 this year at the Pike County Fairgrounds. The theme is "A Nursery Rhyme for a Cure in Time." So, for all of the creative minds on our team, we need to decide on a nursery rhyme and start planning for the big event.

We had thirty team members sign up for early registration. Even though the early registration has ended, you can still register to be a part of our team. The $10 registration fee not only registers you as an official team member, but will get you one of the really cool new team shirts.

As in the past, we are selling luminaries. You can order the luminary in honor of or memory of anyone. We have order forms or you can just send the information to me or Pat. If you have a form, please write Ryan's Beelievers on the form so we get credit for the luminary. Also, if you want your name in the book, we must have your luminary request and the money by July 1st. EVERY luminary turned in before July 1 will earn the team a spirit point. Remember, spirit points determine the winning team for the relay event and we won last year. If you would like to order luminaries and need my address, please email me at scourtney209@hotmail.com.

The Brown's are doing good. They have reached a milestone - Elizabeth is now older than Ryan was when he was diagnosed. That may seem like a trivial milestone to some, but was a huge milestone for Andrea and Phillip.

Lucas and Elizabeth continue to grow. Andrea, Elizabeth, and Lucas all miss Phillip so much, but are so proud of him for the job he does.

Phillip is doing as good as you can expect under the circumstances. He tries to communicate with Andrea and the kids as often as posible - he misses them as much or more than they miss him. Mail from anyone at home is a highlight of some very dismal days in Iraq. All of the soldiers enjoy getting mail, so take a few minutes out of your day every now and then to send a card or letter.

Please continue to pray for Phillip and all of our troops that are seperated from their family. Support our troops and their families anytime you have a chance.

Don't forget to sign up and attend Relay for Life.

God Bless You All,

Nana Sherry

Saturday, January 26, 2008 9:48 PM CST

Hello everyone,

First, I want to thank everyone for their prayers for my sister Carol. I am happy to report she is home from the hospital and has made a full recovery. Unfortunately, several members of the family have been passing the flu and respiratory infections around alot. Tis the season.

The Browns are doing good. Phillip is doing well in his location. He misses everyone very much, but he is doing okay. He received packages from so many people - too many to thank each one personally, but please know that he really truly appreciates everything and so does Andrea.

I hope to post some pictures soon of the NEW Elizabeth. Elizabeth and Andrea had their haircut and donated to Locks of Love. Elizabeth has never had a haircut until now. She is so adorable with short hair. Well, let me rephrase that, she looks adorable. She still has the same sassy attitude.

Lucas is growing so much and is really starting to talk. I should say he talks alot when his sister lets him. He is turning into a regular comedian.

I will post the new pictures as soon as I get my computer functional (I am using my work computer now).

Please continue to keep the Browns and the rest of the family in your prayers. Please pray for our men and women in the military working to keep our country free. Thank the unsung heroes, the military family, for sharing their loved ones with us.

God Bless You All!

Nana Sherry

Monday, December 31, 2007 9:15 AM CST

Hello everyone and HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas filled with love and joy. Andrea and the kids came to St. Louis for Grandma's services and stayed through Christmas. It was a great visit and we were all so happy to be able to spend time with them. We all really missed Phillip.

Phillip was able to call Christmas Day and it was probably the best Christmas present any of us received. Elizabeth was able to talk to him for a few minutes twice and it really helped her to hear her Daddy's voice.

Elizabeth was Ashton's guest at Santa's Jubilee on the Saturday before Christmas. They spent the night in a local hotel, swimming, playing, and just enjoying their time together. Part of the celebration was a trip to the lights at Santa's Magical Kingdom, but the biggest surprise was - Santa came to their room and tucked them into bed that night. They were both so excited. Andrea, Amy and I were treated that night, we had Baby Coen for the night. He is such a happy baby and such a joy to be around. He had just given us all a scare the night before and spent the night in the hospital, but he is fine now.

We had some special visitors last Thursday when the Mackrell family stopped by on their way back to Colorado. Andy, Kelly, Noah, and Natalie are very good friends of Andrea and Phillip's from Ft. Campbell. They have transferred a few times since leaving here and they are now stationed in Colorado. They spent Christmas with their families on the East coast and always stop when going through St. Louis. They all really enjoyed spending time together and of course, we enjoyed the chance to spend time with our extended family.

The New Year for us seems to be a reflection of the year gone by, but usually is a vivid reminder of the people we love that will not be starting out this new beginning with us.

I was sitting on the couch playing with Lucas yesterday and he was being quite silly. He started laughing and looked at me in a way that took me back a few years. I hugged him tight as I cried remembering the times like that spent with Ryan. Elizabeth follows Brandon and Brady around like a puppy and we wonder what it would be like when they visit our house if the third boy were there.

As I close this journal today, please keep our troops and their families in their prayers. My sister Carol had a stroke Friday and I am asking all of you to pray for her and her family.

God Bless You All!

Nana Sherry

Wednesday, December 19, 2007 10:17 PM CST

Hello everyone,

I have some very sad news to share with you. Our dear Grandma Audrey passed away very early Monday morning. Grandma was diagnosed with cancer about five weeks ago. It was very agressive and had spread. Today her family and friends gathered to celebrate her life. Words that were used to describe her were sense of humor, caring, giving, loyal, and feisty. Everyone of these words describe Grandma, but the word I think of when I think of her is family.

Audrey Williams was preceded in death by her parents, one brother Bill, her dear husband Stan, and a very precious great grandson - Ryan Brown. She is survived by four daughters, a son, seventeen grandchildren,twenty great granchildren and me.

Today was very hard, this is the first loss we have had since Ryan of someone especially close to all of us.

Andrea and the kids came home for the services and we all know Phillip was here in spirit. They will stay through the holidays now and wait until the Mackrell's pass back through.

We are all doing fine and preparing for Christmas. Enjoy your holidays with your family. Remember to pray for our troops and their families, seperated at this special time of the year.

Keep Phillip in your thoughts and prayers.

God Bless You All,
Nana Sherry

Tuesday, November 27, 2007 7:00 PM CST

Hello everyone,

Well, here we are in the middle of the holiday season once again. In some ways it seems like we just began 2007 and it others it seems the year has lasted so very long.

As you all know, Andrea and the kids will be spending the holiday season in Kentucky and Phillip will be in Iraq. The holiday's are hard anyway, but this makes them even harder. We are a strong family and we will help them all get through it. Phillip really enjoys getting mail, in some way it helps to fill the void of not being at home. If you would like to add some sunshine to his day and don't have his address, get in touch with me or Andrea.

The Browns were in Missouri for Thanksgiving and we had a good time. It was a lazy day with only the four of us for dinner. Later in the evening we took Elizabeth to see "Enchanted" and she kept telling everyone she saw the prince and princess. We also saw the "Bee Movie" over the weekend.

Elizabeth went to Ms. Pam's preschool for two weeks. Thank you so much Ms. Pam and Ms. G. She had so much fun, she really wants to go to school and this was her chance.

Please add Great Grandma Audrey to your prayer list. Grandma Audrey was recently diagnosed with cancer. Please pray for all of the Caringbridge families.

Pray for the troops and their families this holiday season. Anytime you have a chance to send a card to a service member or do something special for their family - just do it. We owe them so much, without them we wouldn't have the freedom to enjoy our holiday.

God Bless You All

Nana Sherry

Wednesday, November 14, 2007 10:02 PM CST

Hello everyone! It has been a few weeks since Eliabeth did an update, so I will try to get you all caught up. As you all know, Phillip has been deployed again. If anyone wants his address, please contact me or Andrea and we will give it to you. We also have a list of items they can use during the deployment and a few that Phillip has requested. Just get in touch with us and we will give you the information.

Elizabeth decided to go on vacation in Missouri. She has had a pretty busy week. Last Friday night she was at the Trivia Night for Relay for Life. It was a huge success and raised over $200.00. I challenge all of our families (Andrea and Phillip,)all of their friends and neighbors, and their classmates to put together a team for the next Trivia Night. Thanks Kayla for all of your hard work.

She has been going to pre school at Ms. Pam's school. The kids were really excited to meet one of their pen pals. She has enjoyed it alot and has helped with some of their projects.

Mommy and Lucas are doing good. Lucas is trying to cut teeth and is having a very difficult time with it. Having Elizabeth in Missouri gives him time to work on his teeth and not have to worry about running from his sister, Instead of "Mommy Dearest", their movie could be "Sister Dearest".

The family support group at Ft. Campbell is putting together Christmas stockings for the troops and they can use your help. If anyone would like to donate travel size containers of shampoo, conditioner, soap, powder, batteries, candy, etc., the items would really be appreciated. If you aren't sure how you can get them to Andrea, get in touch with someone in the family and we will find a way to get your donations.

Please pray for Phillip and all of our troops. Please pray for the unsung heroes - the spouses and children of the troops.

Remember the caringbridge families. tb

God Bless You All!

Nana and Elizabeth

Friday, October 26, 2007 9:04 AM CDT

Hi,

You don't usually hear from me because my Mom won't let me get close to the computer. Today is a very special day at our house, Lucas and I get to spank our Mommy. It is her birthday.

I know it would be good if I promised to be good today, but it probably won't happen. I don't like to make promises I can't keep. I could promise not to hold my brother down, not to take his toys, and not have a screaming tantrum but I will try to be good.

My Daddy is at work and won't be home for a long time, so help us make this a happy day for our Mommy. She is the best Mommy a kid could have even when I am in time out or can't watch a movie or have to go to bed.

Lucas wants to say something - lkjhsadkfjhlbwlviubvliwabvliweublivblweivubwiv

Don't ask me what it says, I am just a kid.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MOMMY!!!!!

Hi Daddy, we miss you very much. We love you, see you soon.

hslkjflksjfdnskdjnksjnvlk - special message!!!!!

Pray for our Daddy. Please pray for our Mommy and me and Lucas.

Bye for now,
Sissy

Wednesday, October 17, 2007 3:45 PM CDT

Hello everyone!

An update from the Brown house. Phillip has returned to the giant sandbox. Please add him to your prayer list for his safe return along with all of the other members of the Armed Forces serving our country. We do not have a mailing address yet, but will pass it on as soon as we can.

The Browns spent as much time as they could together doing lots of fun things. They all decorated pumpkins the day before Daddy left and the kids really enjoyed that.

Kayla Walker has generated a long list of super ideas for fundraisers for Relay for Life. Kayla's goal is to make $5,000 for Ryan's Beelievers for the 2008 relay. We will keep you all informed of the events as they are planned and draw near.

Everyone is doing really good. We had family pictures taken and as soon as we can get them on the webiste for you to see, we will. I want you all to know, I did get into trouble for putting the picture of Beatrice Bumblestinger on here. I guess one of our loyal followers saw it, showed it to her husband (who happens to be a Lt. Colonel at Ft. Campbell) and he passed on the information. So, most of the guys Phillip works with saw the picture.

It has been fairly quiet in the family. Lucas and Elizabeth continue to grow like bad weeds. But why wouldn't they, they are certainly fertilized with alot of love from their Mom and Dad. Elizabeth is a little mother to Lucas, he is not too crazy about it.

Fall is in the air and I am sure most of you remember Halloween was one of Ryan's two favorite holidays. He is missed so much everyday. Elizabeth goes outside to play and starts talking with someone. She isn't always happy with them either, they get the same attitude we get. She can carry on a conversation with them, laugh at them, and play just like she has a playmate standing right beside her. We think she does.

Well, Mr. Lucas Brown either wants out of the highchair or wants Elizabeth to leave him alone. So, I need to close this entry into the journal.

Please continue to pray for Andrea, Phillip, Elizabeth, and Lucas. Pray for all of our troops worldwide. Please add all caring bridge families to your prayers lists.

God Bless You All,
Nana Sherry

Monday, October 1, 2007 8:18 PM CDT

Hello Everyone!!!

Sorry it has been so long since an update. The Brown's have been very busy. In no particular order, I will try to fill you in on some of their activities lately.
We had the annual Pike County Relay for Life last week. It was a great event with a good turnout. Queen candidate "Beatrice Bumblestinger" (aka Phillip) was magnificently beautiful and graceful. Dressed in a black dress with a chiffon overlay, black and yellow chiffon striped skirt, Beatrice shook her stinger in style. With her trusty sidekick Captain Buzz at her side, Beatrice graced us all with her charm and poise. Outstanding during the interview portion of the competition and definitely a contender in the talent portion of the show, Beatrice was wronged when she was named second runner up. She was robbed, just robbed. That is okay Beatrice, your adoring public will see pictures on the website soon. Captain Buzz (aka Crytal Trower), was buzzing through the fairgrounds making beelievers of everyone. Captain Buzz was showing the ropes to the new buzzer on the block, Elizabeth.
Mema Pat, Aunt Kathy and their crew did a great job on the costumes and campsite. The team of "Ryan's Beelievers" took first place in trivia and charades. "Aunt Nette" once again did a fabulous job decorating the team cake, fabulous enough to take first place. Thank you Aunt Nette. Our campsite tied for third place and WE WON FIRST PLACE IN OVERALL TEAM SPIRIT.
Thank you so much to everyone who contributed in anyway. There are so many people to thank, I know I would forget someone. We are planning our fundraising activities for next year and will keep you informed. Preliminary plans are for a poker run, at least one trivia night, karaoke nights, and more. Next year we would like to have 500 luminaries in Ryan's name and raise the most money for the year.
Please keep Andrea, Phillip, Elizabeth, Lucas, and all of their families in your prayers. Also, continue to pray for our troops and their families. Please pray for the world leaders, pray that we can put an end to the conflicts we are currently involved in.
God Bless You All.

Nana Sherry

Tuesday, August 28, 2007 5:09 PM CDT

Hello everyone,

Good news!!! Elizabeth is doing fine, the tonsils are gone and the attitude stayed. She is definitely all girl. Lucas is doing great and has started talking. I am sure he will only be allowed to say whatever Sissy gives him permission to say. She is a take charge kind of girl. Hmmm, I wonder who she gets that from.

The Brown's are doing great. It seems everyone at Ft. Campbell is either returning from Iraq or getting ready to leave for Iraq.

Well, I just wanted to let everyone know the kids are doing good. I will try to do a better update later.

THE RELAY FOR LIFE IS SEPT. 21 AT PIKE COUNTY FAIRGROUNDS. THE LUMINARIES ARE $5.00 EACH AND ARE FOR SALE NOW. LAST YEAR RYAN HAD HUNDREDS OF LUMINARIES IN HIS NAME. PLEASE HELP US MAKE THIS YEAR A HUGE SUCCESS AND ORDER YOUR LUMINARY NOW. ALSO, WE ARE SELLING THE KEEP BEELIEVING BRACELETS TO RAISE MONEY FOR RELAY FOR LIFE. Contact me at scourtney209@hotmail.com and I will take care of the bracelet or luminary for you.

Hugs and kisses,
Nana

Sunday, August 12, 2007 8:55 PM CDT

Hello friends and family,

I am so sorry we have been AWOL for a while, but I am here to bring you up to date now. First and foremost, Elizabeth is having her tonsils and adnoids taken out tomorrow morning. She doesn't have a clue, so she isn't worried. Mom and Daddy are pretty worried, but they will be okay. Never fear, Nana is here. Papa D is on his way to spend the week and help out.
Phillip is back home from training and everyone is happy to have him home. Lucas is walking, talking and displaying his new temper every chance he gets. He is so cute with his blonde curly hair and chubby cheeks.
Phillip is working alot and the Brown family is staying very busy. There is not alot going on right now and that is a good thing.
Thank you for your continued prayers and support. Hug your kids tonight. If you see a soldier or know a vet, thank them for all they have sacrificed and continue to sacrifice for our freedom. Being here tonight with the kids and all of their friends really makes you remember what it is all about. They have friends being are no longer in the military. All of them, soldiers and families are working toward the next deployment sometime this fall. Pray for their safety, pray for the world leaders trying to bring the Iraq conflict to an end, and pray for the families here at home who miss their soldiers so much.
And, as always - KEEP BEELIEVING IN MIRACLES!!!!

Hugs and kisses to all of you,
Nana

Tuesday, July 17, 2007 7:45 PM CDT

We have a new addition to our family.

My brother Cory and sister-in-law Heather had their baby boy today.

Coen Ray Ogle
7 lbs 13 oz
21 inches long
12:56 this afternoon

Mom, dad, and baby are doing fine. He is so cute, and little. We are not used to these little ones in our family. Ashton didn't really have much interest today, but I am sure he will when the baby comes home and takes away some of his attention. He seemed more interested in when Elizabeth was coming to see him. He calls her, his Bess. It is so cute.

Elizabeth just loved looking at him. She loved touching his face, and just watching everything he did this afternoon. I think she was more excited to see him than the rest of us were, except for mommy and daddy. Lucas didn't really care, except he didn't like for me or Nana to hold Coen. It really made him angry.

I just wanted to let you all know, we have another healthy happy baby to add to the crew.

Love and Hugs,
Andrea

Wednesday, July 11, 2007 3:18 PM CDT

I laid in bed last night, thinking about a journal to write to everyone. I had a really awesome one, but than fell asleep and now it is gone.

We have been trying to stay busy, and do lots of family things these last few weeks.

Ryan's birthday we went to the movies, the Elk and Bison Prairie, which was alright, but didn't really get to see anything. We went to Chuck E Cheese in Paducah, released balloons from there.

Ryan's favorite holiday 4th of July. We went over to our friends, the Shaw family, for a BBQ. It was wonderful to spend the day with such wonderful people. We all went to the carnival on post and watched fireworks. Elizabeth is getting so big, I was so sure she would freak out on the rides. Oh no, she just kept wanting more and was really upset when we had to leave. Neither one of my little ones like fireworks, which I am sure Ryan is thinking how could that be, as much as he liked them.

We kind of just hung around for the next few days. Sunday we went to the Science Center in Nashville. Elizabeth seemed to enjoy herself, but I think we will wait awhile to go back. I think she needs to be a little bit older so she can interact more. Lucas just sat in the stroller, enjoying the ride and scenery.

Yesterday, we went to the Nashville zoo. As soon as we walked in, we had floods of memories of Ryan. We have only ever been there one time, the first week of radiation. We had some laughs and some tears. It was a good day for family, it was a sad day for the heart. Elizabeth and Lucas had so much fun. We released balloons at the Shaw's house, than we went out to dinner. Ryan loved, Logan's Roadhouse so we went there to eat. He actually like to suck the salt off of the peanuts, than put them back in the bucket. We had to watch him really closely.

I feel as though, it is harder two years later. I do believe this year was harder than last year. I keep hearing people say, the pain will ease. I am just not sure anymore. I feel like a computer that has gone on the fritz, it still functions on a day to day basis, but isn't really there. You get the computer fixed and the outside is the same, but the inside and how it works will never be the same again. I have also seen it explained like a purse being dumped onto the ground, everything is dumped out. You start to pick up the pieces, and all be danged if it doesn't get dumped out again, right away.

Two years is a long time. I keep thinking about what all we have been through in those two years. It has been a lot, and in terms of Elizabeth and Lucas growing up, the time has flown by. It is almost like part of my life rushes by, put part of me is stuck. I am at a stand still, I can't move forward, because if I move, I will lose an even bigger part of myself. I feel like I will lose him all over again, so I feel like I have to stay there in the past, yet at the same time move forward and live a normal happy life. Okay, so as you can see, I am not doing well right now, but it is not always this way, just a rough time of year.

Phillip and I are doing good. He is gone, right now, for another stint of training. He was able to stay home for yesterday, which was awesome because I didn't want us to go through that again apart. The kids and I will stay busy, to pass the time. I mean, a one year old and a three old keep you pretty busy anyways. Lucas has his 15 month well-baby check tomorrow, yes he is already 15 months old. Elizabeth is supposed to have surgery on August 13, she is having tonsils and adnoids removed. They are both growing so fast becoming their own little people.

I won't keep you anymore. I just wanted to give a good update on the Brown household.

Please continue to pray for our family. Pray for our friends still fighting the fight. Please pray for our troops.

I still think of you all often. I am not online much anymore, so I don't sign guestbooks. I am hoping to get back in the swing of things, while Phillip is gone. Thinking of you and praying for you all.

Love to all,
Andrea

Friday, June 29, 2007 7:57 AM CDT

Happy Birthday to my Precious Little Boy!!!!!!

Today is Ryan's seventh Birthday. I believe this birthday is harder than last year. Last year, I could at least imagine what he would be like, because I figure it wouldn't be to much different than the year before, but now it has been two years. Children change so much in that amount of time. I wonder what his likes and dislikes would be now.

Today, I think we are going to watch a movie this morning, than maybe go to an Elk and Bison Prairie this afternoon, it is a drive-thru park, than for dinner what better place to celebrate a birthday than Chuck E Cheese.

I do not really want to go into, how things are going here, because they are hard. It has been hard this month, and it will continue to be hard. I just want you to remember Ryan today, I would love for everyone to send up a balloon or two today. We are going to send up our yellow and red balloons, along with a soccer mylar. Elizabeth gives them kisses and hugs, than whispers I love you and miss you bubby!

I also wanted to put a poem in this journal entry. I received it a card, from another bereaved mother.

Fingerprints
Your fingerprints are on my heart.
Fingerprints that teach me about caring.
Fingerprints that teach me about love.
Fingerprints that teach me about courage.
Fingerprints that teach me about hope.
Fingerprints that bring me closer to my loved ones.
Fingerprints that bring me closer to myself.
In the time I cared for you my whole life changed--never to be the same again
All this from tiny fingerprints that touch my heart.
You will live in my heart forever-never to be forgotten
I will always love you.
You are my child.

Thank you everyone for still keeping us in your prayers, signing the guestbook, and checking in on us from time to time.

Please continue to pray for our family. Please pray for our troops and their families.

Love to all,
Andrea

Wednesday, June 13, 2007 9:18 PM CDT

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Just a short update. The Brown's are all doing very good. I was there for the weekend and had a great time. Lucas is really turning into a chubby little fellow and Elizabeth, well she is Elizabeth!!!!

Friday will be the seventh anniversary of the day God blessed us with Ryan Douglas Brown. If you can, please release balloons in his honor on Friday. Last year we had the big balloon release, but this year Phillip and Andrea are staying home and we are each remembering Ryan in our own way.

Phillip continues to prepare for Iraq. Please pray for our troops. Please pray for Phillip, Andrea, and the rest of the family.

Nana Sherry

Hello everyone!

Fortunately there is not a lot to update all of you on. The Brown's are doing good and are settled into the new house. Elizabeth is 3 going on 23 and Lucas is walking everywhere now.

Phillip has been really busy at work and has been doing alot of training. Andrea is feeling better and recovering very good from her surgery.

We are well into the two year anniversary of our five weeks of *******. As most of you recall, it was the first part of June when Ryan began his biggest fight yet and fight he did. I look back through the old journals at times and am once again amazed at this strength and the strength of his parents. We said it quite often then and I have to say again, Thank you all so much for your support and prayers during that most difficult time and still today.

Even though she was just a baby when Ryan earned his wings, Elizabeth seems to know so much about him. She definitely is in touch with him today. She has said just in the last few days that she lost her Bubby and she misses him.

Please keep Andrea, Phillip, Lucas, and Elizabeth in your prayers. Pray for our troops.

Keep beelieving in miracles!!!

PLEASE SIGN THE GUEST BOOK!!!

God Bless You All-
Nana Sherry

Tuesday, May 22, 2007 10:30 PM CDT

Hello everyone!

Gee, it has been too long since our last update. Andrea is dong great and is recovering tremendously from her surgery. Thank you so much for your prayers.

The Browns took it easy for a few weeks following her surgery. I went down to visit the weekend after surgery, then the next weekend Mema Pat went down, then I believe it was the following weekend Cory, Heather, Tony, and Ashton were there.

Elizabeth has really gotten into Dora and Ashton is just crazy over Diego. So, Mother's Day weekend, the Brown's and the Ogle's went to Nashville to see Dora and Diego Live. I was told during the first half of the show Ashton sat on Cory's lap with big eyes just amazed at what he was seeing. Elizabeth was dancing, singing, and being very interactive with the show. After intermission, they switched roles. Elizabeth sat on Phillip's lap and watched the show with wonder while Ashton danced, sang, and interacted. Then they all went to Rainforest Cafe for dinner. A good time was had by all and the little ones absolutely enjoyed the show.

Saturday, we had the social event of the year at our house. A pink Wizard of Oz party for Princess Elizabeth Ryan Brown. What a day!!! She had a huge banner with the Emerald City on it that said Happy Birthday Elizabeth. She had a cake with the yellow brick road, lollipop fields, and the Emerald City. Meme was the creator of the cake and she did a fabulous job. Elizabeth wore the Emerald City for a crown. Everything about the party was centered around the Wizard (or Lizard of Oz as Elizabeth calls it). She was so excited. But, when it came time for her presents - it was all My Little Ponies and Dora. Sher received so many wonderful gifts they could not fit all of them in their car. She got tired of opening gifts, so we had to have Ashton help her.

Ashton spent the night with Nana on Friday so he could be here when Sissy and Lucas got here. He was so excited to see them Saturday morning and they were jsut as excited to see him.

On Sunday we had some very, very special visitors. The Ross family from Utah, Grandma Gwen from Oklahom, Ms. Pam from St. Louis, and Kenny and Rosie from Scotland were here. We had dinner and a chance to get to visit in person. It was a great evening. The kids played in the pool while the adults spent time chatting. Brandon, Devin, Elizabeth, and Kara swam and swam. Brady was water logged from being in to pool all day, so he sat out part of the evening. I think if she could have gotten by with it, Alisa would have taken Lucas with her. He fell in love with her and his blue eyes will get you everytime.
Ms. Pam is so faithful about signing Ryan's guestbook. The Ross family - Alisa, Randy, Devin, and Kara sign the guestbook faithfully also. Alisa has been a constant source of strength for Andrea. Please visit Devin's website and sign his guestbook. www.caringbridge.org/utah/devinross Kenny and Rosie are Caringbridge friends also. Their grandaughter in Scotland has a Caringbridge sight. I will get the address for all of you. It is sad our connection has to be kids with cancer, but it is great to have the chance to meet so many wonderful families that have helped us on our journey. I hope all of you enjoyed your visit to St. Louis.

Lucas is trying to walk. He will take a few steps and then realize what he is doing, so he sits down. Elizabeth is growing up so much. I don't really think I am partial, but she is such a beautiful little girl. They both have some charateristics of Ryan, but they are definitely their own individual person.

Well, it is that time of night. Nana turns into a pumpkin at a certain time and it is getting close. So, I am going to end this journal entry. Once again I want to thank all of you - friends, family, those we know and those we have never met for your continued love, support, but most of all your prayers.

Please keep praying for Caringbridge families, for the families fighting the fight, for the families victorious and in remission, and for the families with our own guardian angels watching over us.

Please pray for our troops as this conflict in Iraq and Afghanistan continues to rage on.

God Bless -
Nana

Thursday, April 12, 2007 2:18 PM CDT

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Andrea's surgery went very good today. She is really uncomfortable tonight, but surgery was complication free. Just the way we like it. She will most likely be in the hospital for a day or two, then Nurse Phillip gets to be in charge for a few weeks.

Thank you all for your prayers.

Sunday, April 21, 2007
I will probably get in trouble for this, but here goes!!!!!!

Andrea will be having surgery on Tuesday. Please pray for her quick recovery. It is not life threatening, but I know she would feel better if she knew you were all lifting her up in your prayers.

The Brown's are doing good. I had written this long thing about Elizabeth and Lucas, but it was wiped out. So, I will write about the LITTLE DARLINGS in a few days.

Please pray for Andrea and Phillip, Elizabeth and Lucas.
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Okay, so I haven't been so good with the journaling thing.

We are moved in, well our boxes are moved in, we are still living out of those. It seems like unpacking takes forever, especially when you don't like to do it. We love our new house. It felt like home the moment we walked through the door. The kids seem to really love it too.

Lucas turned a year old on Sunday. He had his first birthday on Easter Sunday. He, unfortunately wasn't feeling well, so he didn't have the best of days. He has actually been pretty sick with a head cold/allergies all week long. He is doing really well, and is certainly a joy.

Elizabeth loved Easter. She was excited to hunt eggs. She played baseball with Brandon, Brady, Papa D and Daddy. I think she is going to be a sports lover. She loves to swim, play baseball and soccer.

We have been so busy with all sorts of different things. I hope to get on here more often to update everyone. I still check the guestbook entries at least once a day, so please continue to sign the guestbook.

Our new address:
181 Oak Tree Drive
Oak Grove, Ky 42262

Our phone numbers are all still the same.

Love to all,
Andrea

Thursday, March 15, 2007 8:38 AM CDT

Okay, so I am not doing very good on my new's years resolution of keeping the journal up to date better.

Let me see, how things are going here.

I went back to the cardiologist the end of February. She gave me a clean bill of health, but did say I have hypertrophic cardiomyopathy also. So, Lucas gets it from me. I have been fighting colds, but other than that I have been healthy. I am doing good, just really missing Ryan. March is really hard on me. It will be 3 years ago on Saturday, that we were told he had a mass on his brain, on March 18 will be 3 years ago that we were told he would only have 6-9 months to live. At times, it seems like wow that was three years ago, and at times it seems like an eternity.

Phillip is doing good. He is working a lot. He is also, of course, missing Ryan a lot. Last year, he was gone, so it was a bit easier to put the feelings aside, since he was missing everyone. He could displace the thought that he was gone. But, now it is more real to him, because he is here with all of us again.

Elizabeth had to have a catscan done, I believe in January. She had been having headaches, and all sorts of goofy stuff. Of course, you all know what we thought. But, they said everything looked good, her mastoid was enlarged, she had just gotten off antibiotics for an ear infection, so that explained that part of it. She does not have ear infections very often, like maybe two in her life, so we think it was really throwing her off because she was not used to the feeling of what an ear infection can do to you body sometimes. She is doing really good. She is growing like a weed. She has the mouth of a 16 year old girl, very sassy. She definitely keeps us on our toes.

Lucas went back to the GI doctor and he does not have to go back unless there is a problem. I don't see one, they say he is still underweight so to feed him whatever he will eat. So, we have been trying to do just that, he had his first taste of eggs on Sunday. He loves the shortbread cookies from Girl Scouts. Lucas also went to the cardiologist, the walls of his heart are slightly thicker than the last time. They did an EKG and put a halter monitor on him for 24 hours. I don't know what those results are at this time. They said, it has not yet caused a blockage and he does not need to be medicated. He will go back in six months. He has been our sickly little fellow the last few weeks. He had an upper respiratory infection a few weeks ago, about the time he was over that one, he started something else. He woke up about a week ago with a 104.9 temperature, boy was a scared. I called my mom, and a friend, they both said give him tylenol and motrin, put him in the bathtub. I did just that and it was down to 102.1, right after I got him out of the tub. The doctors said I was lucky he didn't have ceasars. They did some blood work on him, a throat culture and a urinalysis. His white cell count was severly elevated, but everything else came back negative for any infection. So, they said he had an infection somewhere in his body, but they didn't know where. He got shots of antibiotics, and besides sleeping a lot, he seems to be doing much better.

We have another dog. She is black with a few white places, on her chest. She is a great dane and we named her Jewel. If we could, just get her to quit messing in the floor everytime you look at her, we would be doing really well. Both dogs love the kids, and the kids love them.

We are in the process of buying a house, and should close next week. We are very excited, but a little scared since this will be our first home. Also, it is hard because this is the last place Ryan was, but we know we can't live her forever. We have been going through all of his things, it is hard, but good for us at the same time. We had all of his stuff up still, but had Lucas in there too. We have decided to not put his things back up, and Lucas will now have his own room. We will of course keep some things out, because we don't want to make it seem like he didn't exist, but we didn't think it was fair for Lucas to share a room with his brother who passed away. The good thing about moving is, this will be Lucas' room, I don't know that the other one really would have been, because it was Ryan's first, and it was hard to let that go. So, we are making some huge steps, by moving, going through his things, getting rid of some of the stuff in the bedroom.

I am really sorry for not keeping you guys better updated. I will try harder in the future.

Thank you to everyone who continues to read the journals and sign the guestbook. We appreciate each and every one of you.

Please continue to pray for our family, as it makes these changes, we need strength. Please continue to pray for our caringbridge friends and families. Please also, continue to pray for our troops.

We also have a special prayer request for a little girl named Jaime Erwin, they found out she has a brain tumor. They are unsure of the type or what the next step will be, but need your prayers. They are here at Fort Campbell, and went through a similar ordeal with the doctors and hospital here that we went through. They will be going down to Vanderbilt the end of this month. I know her mother, so I will try to keep everyone posted, and maybe she will soon have a caringbridge website to visit also.

Love to all,
Andrea

Monday, January 1, 2007 12:48 AM CST

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

We have certainly had our ups and downs for the year. We have been blessed with a new baby and daddy coming home to us.

We look forward to what 2007 will bring to our family.

We still miss our little buddy, and hate starting another year without him here with us. I put some different pictures in the photo album of him. You may have seen them before, but I thought it was certainly time for an album change. I will try to get some pictures of the othe little ones up soon, but we have a new camera and I haven't quite mastered getting them posted online.

Lucas is gaining weight now. He gained 1 1/2 lbs, in two weeks, which is amazing for him. He is getting so big. He is crawling all over the place, pulling up on everything, starting to walk slowly with the furniture, and many other wonderful things. He talks to you all of the time, of course you cannot understand what he is saying. He sounds like he is saying dada a lot. We are trying to teach him how to wave bye bye. He imitates most of the sounds and noises everyone makes. We thought he was going to have two new teeth by the new year, but they haven't come through yet.

Elizabeth, were to start, she is full of life. She is in her own little world most of the time. She is so beautiful. She loves playing dress up or dress down. Like Ryan she says the funniest things at just the right time. She is getting big also learning more and more words it seems over night. She absolutly loves watching Harry Potter over and over and over and over again. She is a big help with Lucas. Our little girl is growing up so fast we can't keep up with her. We all think Elizabeth is going to be our little dancer. We went and saw Happy Feet and we had to stay an extra 20-25 minutes after the movie to watch her dance. Like every other little girl her age she is sassy but SOMETIMES it is so cute you can't do anything but laugh.

We took them both to the doctor last week, Elizabeth has bronchitis and an ear infection. Lucas has bronchitis and thrush. Never a dull, healthy moment in the Brown house. Lucas goes back to the GI doctor tomorrow for a follow-up. I am hoping he will be very pleased with the weight progress, so we can just move on, and not have to run anymore tests.

Phillip has had the last 2 weeks off of work, and we have gone no where and done nothing. We have done a few things around the area, but nothing major. We have stayed in our pajamas almost everyday, take a bath/shower and get back into clean pajamas. It is been great. We have been sleeping late, laying around, playing, goofing off. It is going to stink going back to a routine in a few days. He goes back to work on Wednesday, and we go back to the gym.

We had a wonderful Christmas. It was hard without Ryan, but we made it through the day, and realize that he will always be with us. Elizabeth hung Ryan's ornament on the tree Christmas morning. Santa Claus was again very generous at our house. Elizabeth wasn't interested after the first few presents. Lucas was more interested in eating the paper. So, Phillip and I had many presents to open. We have enjoyed them all.

I hope to try and get on here a little more often and journal. It is one of my many new year resolutions.

Please continue to pray for our family. Please pray for our troops and their families. Please continue to pray for our caringbridge friends and family.

Love to all,
Andrea

Sunday, December 3, 2006 11:14 PM CST

***************************************
December 5, 2006

We did Lucas' sweat test today. He did a wonderful job. He is so good.

We already received the results of that particular test, and his blood tests from last week. Everything, came back normal and negative. YAY, Lucas!!!!

The doc just wants to keep him on his upped meds for a few weeks, and go from there.

***************************************
December 4, 2006

The doctor called today with Elizabeth's echocardiogram results. They said everything looked normal and good. She will have to have a follow up test when she turns 5 years old.

I will let you know when we get the results of Lucas' tests.
***************************************

Even though it is right in front of your eyes, you sometimes do not realize how fast your children grow up.

I spend all day everyday with my children, and I see how much they are growing and developing, but it sometimes it does not dawn on me until I look back at pictures. I looked at Elizabeth's Christmas pictures from last year, and oh how she has grown.

Okay so the happenings at the Brown house, there is a lot, so are you ready for all of this at the moment.

Phillip and I put up Christmas lights yesterday. We as a family put up the tree and decorated it. Elizabeth enjoyed that so very much. She especially likes taking the candy canes off to eat them. Today, we went and had our pictures taken. Of course the kids smiled more off camera than on, but we still were able to capture some very good moments.

Friday we took Elizabeth to have her echocardiogram, to have her tested for hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, which is what Lucas was diagnosed with. We will know the results sometime this week, I will post them as soon as I get them. But, I thought we would have the worst screaming Elizabeth fit, trying to get her to do the test. I was sure they weren't going to get good pictures. I was out in the waiting room feeding Lucas, thinking I had plenty of time to get to her. She went in with her daddy, laid right down and didn't move. I walked in and they were wiping her off, and had already finished. I missed the whole thing. It was definitely a surprise, she was so very good. They were able to get some really good pictures. Awesome! Elizabeth was able to pick out a new toy for being so good.

Lucas went back to the GI doctor for a follow up. He weight 15 lbs 7 oz. They said he should weigh at least 16 lbs 5 oz, so they weren't happy with his weight. He is gaining but it is at a very slow rate. They don't think he is gaining weight because of mass, but because of length. He continues to get longer, so that is what is making him gain weight. He continues to fall lower and lower on the growth charts. So, they did some blood work on him Friday, for thyroid disease and celliac disease. While they were drawing his blood, I was holding him. I thought we would at least get a peep out of him, but nothing. He didn't move, he didn't cry. He acted like it was no big deal. So, he was able to get a toy also. I mean sissy couldn't get a toy without Lucas, since they were both good. It is only fair, right. We will find out the results of the tests again, sometime this week. They also want to do a sodium chloride test on Tuesday, to test for cystic fibrosis. We should have those results within 24 hours. If all of those test come back negative, there is a very good possibility, they will do an endoscopy and colonoscopy on him, to test and see if his body is not absorbing the proteins from the food. He is still refluxing, but they are not as concerned about that as they are about his weight. He eats like crazy, and loves food. It is not that he doesn't eat, because sometimes the way he eats, you would think we would be the chunkiest kid in town. He is developing quite nicely. He is crawling, trying to pull up on things, and all sorts of stuff. He is only irritable when tired or hungry, otherwise he is laughing and talking to you.

We still have Nala. She is still into all of her puppy stuff. I can't wait for her to grow out of that stage.

Phillip switched companies at work. He was really nervous at first, but is loving it now.

Oh yes, I forgot, we are trying again to potty train Elizabeth. She is doing really good. It will be nice when we no longer have to buy two sets of diapers. I forgot how hard of a process potty training was.

I am doing good. I stay busy with the kids, and Phillip being home. I have been nursing a cold for a few days. I am hoping it will be gone soon.

I hope everyone is enjoying their holiday season. It can be a very difficult time without your loved ones, but remember those holiday seasons they were here with your family. Remember how much they enjoyed the season and life, and know they wouldn't want you to quit living. They would want for you to have a wonderful season, and enjoy all of those things they loved so much.

Pray for our family. Please continue to pray for our caringbridge family. Please pray for our troops, especially those who are so far away from their loved ones this season. We are fortunate enough our soldier is home this year, but there are so many spending it away.

Love to all,
Andrea

Sunday, November 19, 2006 8:40 PM CST

Hello everyone!

Sorry it has been so long since our last journal, but thank you for continuing to sign the guestbook and to pray for our family.

The Brown's have been busy since Phillip came home. He is back to work now and the girls along with Lucas are getting into a routine that includes Daddy.

I made my monthly trek to Ft. Campbell this weekend and had a blast. It is always so good to visit with Andrea and Phillip, but I have to admit the highlight of my weekend is seeing the babies. Lucas is at an age where he changes so much from visit to visit and Elizabeth, well she is Elizabeth.

She gets so excited when she looks out the door and sees me getting out of my car, but this visit they had her hide from me. She couldn't hide for long before her giggling gave her away.

I went to see "Happy Feet" with Andrea, Phillip, Lucas, and yes, Elizabeth. It was Elizabeth's first cinema experience since she was just a tiny baby so we were a little skeptical about how she would do. She did great. She was more entertaining than the movie at times. After the movie was over during the credits, Elizabeth was the entertainment. She was dancing to the music and didn't care who was watching. Now, she goes around the house, the mall, the PX, everywhere going "HAPPY FEET" and dancing. She even danced Happy Feet" tonight for me on the phone. I told her I could see her.

Lucas is growing so much, he gained weight this month. YEAH LUCAS!!! He is trying to crawl, right now it is kind of a commando crawl thingy. But, he can get where he wants to go.

The kids have a double stroller, Lucas sits in the back and Elizabeth sits in the front. Well, you have all seen Sissy's hair. You can imagine the temptation it provides for Lucas and occasionally it gets the better of him and he uses it for a handle. She goes through the mall saying, Ow, Ow, Ow, Ow. Lucas has her hair in his hands pulling.

Please continue to pray for our family, we still miss our little buddy very much and everyday can still be a challenge. Pray for other families that have lost children or loved ones.

Remember our troops all over the world and their families. The holidays are rapidly approaching and it is difficult when you are so far apart.

A few special prayer requests tonight. Remember our friend Carolyn who is still fighting so hard to beat her brain tumor. Also, Brandon and Brady's Papa Pat has recently had a heart attack and bypass surgery and needs our prayers.

God Bless You All and have a Happy Thanksgiving!

Nana Sherry

Tuesday, October 31, 2006 7:33 PM CST

November 4, 2006
Happy Birthday Phillip! We love you very much! Glad you are home for this one!
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HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!

I put new pictures of the children up, in their costumes.

So, it has been super busy since daddy has been home. We have been running around like crazy doing all of the things we haven't been able to do in the last year.

I will try to give a little bit of an update of what has been going on around here.

We took Lucas to the cardiologist about a month ago, we found out he has a heart disease called Hypertrophic cardiomyopathy (HCM). The second most common form is characterized by the abnormal growth and arrangement of muscle fibers in the heart. The thickened and stiffer heart muscles reduce the capacity of the heart to fill and contract properly. It may also lead to arrhythmias or narrowing of the passage out of the heart. In advanced HCM, the heart muscle may thin and stretch to compensate for the pumping action. It is the overview for the Pediatric Cardiomyopathy foundation. It is genetic, so we have been working on getting Elizabth tested for it also.

Some of the symptons are poor weight gain, so I am wondering if that is not the reason Lucas has not been gaining weight and is so little. The doctor said it is on the mild side of the disease, so I am very thankful for that aspect. It can get worse or it can stay the same. He cannot play competitive sports or be in the military. He will have to be monitored lifelong, it could be life threatening, but at this point does not pose a threat. It can also be treated, by medication, pacemaker or even heart transplant in an extreme case. We do have some very frightening statitics, but I don't want to scare anyone. My main concern is how it is going to effect his life, and how little research is out there. It does give me a little bit of information on how to cope with a chronic disease. I do believe our experience with cancer is helping us cope with a heart disease. It could be a lot worse, and we are very thankful for the good news, looking at from the positive side. We have wonderful doctors down at Vanderbilt, we all know how wonderful they really are.

He is doing really well. He is getting up on his hands and knees, rocking back and forth. It don't think it will be to long before he is crawling. He is just getting bigger and bigger everyday. He looks so much like Ryan as a baby, it is unreal.

Elizabeth is doing wonderful. She is becoming such a sassy little girl. You never know what is going to come out of her mouth anymore. She has a new phrase, Awesome, High five. Her characteristics, remind me so much of her brother. I will let you know how her tests turn out as soon as we know anything. She is getting referred down to Vanderbilt to have an echocardiogram and see a cardiologist.

We went to the pumpkin patch over the weekend, and she loved picking out pumpkins. We came home with six little pumpkins and three big pumpkins. I am surprised that is all we came home with, she was loving it.

Phillip and I are doing good. Staying very busy with the kids. He has his first official day back to work tomorrow and none of us are looking forward to it.

I hope everyone had a safe and happy halloween.

Please pray for our family. Pray for our caringbridge friends and family. Please pray for our troops and their families.

Love to all,
Andrea

Saturday, September 30, 2006 7:10 PM CDT

*****HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANDREA!*******

NEW PHOTOS!!! Added 10-16-06

NEW PHOTOS!! Added 10-6-06

Hello Beelievers everywhere!!!

Well, the Ryan's Beelievers Relay for Life team completed our first annual relay this morning. What a huge success!!! Mema Pat and I were off to a late start by making the decision to do this in July and the other teams started in October of 2005, but we hung right in there. If you recall, our goal was to have 100 luminarias in Ryan's name ****** WE HAD OVER 250*****. The announcers read Ryan Douglas Brown over 250 times last night during the lighting ceremony. THANK YOU TO EVERYONE BUYING LUMINARIAS TO HONOR RYAN!!!!!!

We tied for third place in Team Spirit and placed in several individual competitions. We had first place winner's in the Intensity Competition with Neil and Josh representing our team. WOO-HOO!!!! Cody and Brandon were our alligator wrestlers and took third place, the Gator didn't stand a chance. Great minds think alike and Betty and I proved we have great minds, we were able to think alike enough to place third in the Book Stacking contest. Neil and Micheal put on a Tiger Wood's performance while playing Hillbilly Golf. Brady was given the formidable task of guiding a blindfolded Uncle Bill, as Bill pulled him in a wagon through a maze of traffic cones. Kids in our family have always dreamed of telling Uncle Bill where to go and get by with it. For Brady it was a personal dream come true, he was able to boss Uncle Bill around. The Book Smart contest was definitely rigged and I threw in the red flag asking for an official review, but the NFL must have sent the judges, they didn't see the flag.

There were so many people working hard to make the relay a success, I am afraid when I try to mention them I will forget someone. First, thank you to Andrea and Phillip for allowing all of us to be such a part of our little Buddy's life. I had a chance the last few days to run into people that knew Ryan as a baby and a toddler, before he moved to Kentucky. Each one of them had a memory to share and talked about how special he is and the impact he had on the life of everyone he came in contact with. KEEP BEELIEVING IN MIRACLES, we were definitely blessed with a miracle when God let us borrow Ryan for five years.

Mema Pat worked so hard and put in so much time to make the relay a success. She is still in Pike County and most of the work fell on her and as usual, she did a great job and made it look so easy.

All Hail to the queen, Queen Bodacious Beeliever!!!! Josh Morgan was such a good sport, he dressed up like a woman and carried an aluminum sauce pan around the fairgrounds for about four hours collecting votes (donations). He had to answer a really tough question from the judges, compete in the talent contest, and do the runway walk. Of course, he asked for world peace. Although our lovely Bodacious was not one of the finalists, she is young and some of the others were OLD and EXPERIENCED.(wink, wink, nod, nod) Also, we highly suspect foul play and judge tampering - watch for an episode on Dateline dealing with this incident as it is definitely headline making news.

Jenny Guthrie, with the help of Crystal Trower, definitely produced Academy Award winning set design for our campsite. Jenny painted a backdrop of the 100 Acre Wood and cardboard cutouts of the characters from Pooh's Heffalump. We added stuffed Pooh characters sitting on stumps(real wood) and took the visitors straight into the life of Pooh, Tigger, Roo, and Lumpy.

Uncle Greg and Uncle Neil are now availabe for hire if you need to have a tent set up. They were given the task of setting up three tents and to add to the fun, they had three women telling them what to do. And, you guessed it, we couldn't make a decision and we would all three tell them something different.

Aunt Nette, the cake you baked was beautiful and so delicious. I think it tasted better than any other because it was baked with love. Thanks to Dennis and Sherri Noel for donating the wood and for the winning bid on our team cake at the cake auction. Tiffaney, Jody, and Aunt Kathy donated items for the silent auction and we were able to raise alot of money for our team due to their skills and handiwork. Grandma Sloan, Grandma Audrey, Aunt Kathy, Papa D, Tiffaney, and I had items to raffle at our campsite to add to our money raising efforts. Thanks to everyone that helped. Mema Pat made the best taco salads in the midwest and they were definitely a big hit at the relay last night.

If I forget anyone, please forgive me. (4 hours sleep in the last 37) The talent show last night was one of the pinnacles of the evening. A truly wonderful gift is a gift from the heart - last night Uncle Neil sang a song he wrote for Ryan last year when our Buddy earned his wings. The words were beautiful, the message was straight from the heart, and the performance was very memorable. Now, we all know that it is really easy to make me cry, but when Neil completed his performance - there was not a dry eye in the crowd. After the premier of Ryan's Song, Uncle Neil had us all join in and sing "Jesus Loves Me". We all remember that is one of Ryan's favorite songs. Thank you so much Neil, you paid a tribute to Ryan last night and helped us show the rest of Pike County how much Ryan is loved and missed.

To Uncle Bill, Jody, Emily, Tiffaney, Elijah, Meme, Uncle Mr. Mike, Brandon, Brady, Uncle Cory, Aunt Heather, Tony, Ashton, Aunt Linda, Grandma Audrey, Papa Bob, Grandma Sloan, Uncle Greg, Julie, Gregory, Shelby, Jade, Jordan, Aunt Jennifer, Uncle Neil, Trenton, Tori, Papa D, Aunt Kathy, Uncle Steve, Crystal, Aunt Nette, J J, Jeff, Ian, Andy, Micheal, Colleen, Gram Bette, Josh, Jen, Kaleb, Ron, Sherri, Dennis, Cody, Aunt Carol, Tammy, Drake, Jessie, Andrea, Phillip, Elizabeth, Lucas, and those of you that were there in spirit - thank you. Thank you for your great support, for setting up, cleaning up, walking, participating, and for being there. Mema Pat and I were able to enjoy the relay itself only because we had such great help. Thank you Ryan, we do it for you.

I believe the planning for the 2007 relay begins in Oct. 2006 and we are going to be on top of it. Stay tuned for announcements of coming attractions over the next year and mark your calendars for September 28 - 29, 2007 as that will most likely be the date.

Before closing, please remember Carolyn Russo and her family in your prayers. You may recall Carolyn has been battling a brain tumor since the spring of 2005 and the fight is getting harder for her.

Pray for families everywhere dealing with cancer. Pray for our troops and their families. Take the time to thank our service men and women if you see them in the store or at a restaurant, they need to hear you appreciate their sacrifices.

"Confucious say - Do not inflict on others, what you yourself do not desire." Remember that!!

God Bless You All and KEEP BEELIEVING IN MIRACLES!!!!!!

GO TEAM!!
Nana Sherry

Sunday, August 27, 2006 12:46 AM CDT

SEPTEMBER 17, 2006

THE PLANE HAs LANDED AND GUESS WHO WAS ON IT?????????

Phillip is back at Ft. Campbell with his family. He arrived back today and was welcomed with loving arms by his family. Pictures and update to follow.

Welcome Home Phillip - we sure did miss you!!!

Nana Sherry

Hello everyone,

We have been trying to stay very busy around the Brown house. I am just trying to count down the days until Phillip gets back home, which is really hard since I don't know when Phillip will be home.

Elizabeth was trying to potty train, and than decided she didn't want to anymore. So, it was causing to much stress on both of us at the moment, so we are no longer potty training. She is becoming quite grown up in her young years. She will get mad at me, slam the back door and yell "FINE!" I don't think her daddy realizes what he is going to be walking into once he gets home. She is two going on sixteen, with the attitude. She really likes the puppy, because she finally has someone to boss around that won't talk back. She loves to go outside and play, but the mosquitoes and allergens are so bad right now, she doesn't get to that much right now. Elizabeth is such a big help with Lucas, she will get things for me that she can reach, while I am feeding him or changing his diaper. She is like a little mother hen, always covering him up, talking to him when he is fussy, putting his pacifier back in his mouth. She loves to lay next to Lucas on the floor or in bed. At bedtime, we all three sit on the couch to read and cuddle .

Lucas is getting so big also. He just smiles, giggles, and talks to you. He makes some of the funniest noises. You lay him on the floor and he rolls over before you can even get your hand off of him. He is becoming so active and developing such a cute little personality. He loves to sit in his exersaucer and just play. He watches the dog whereever she goes. You should see his face light up when his sister walks into the room, especially when she walks over to him and starts talking to him. He is still refluxing pretty bad. I took him back to the GI doctor on Friday, and they changed his formula, so I will start him on that Monday. He is eating cereal in the morning and night, and eating a jar of vegetables in the afternoon and evening. It helps him keep his food down better, because it is solid food. He really likes it, except for green beans, he will spit those back at you. He does not like those one bit, for the first few days of green beans, we were both wearing them. It was an experience. So, right now, he has to be weighed every 10 days, because he is not gaining weight like they think he should be, but I am not concerned about it. He is still growing and thriving, he looks healthy to me.

I went back to the cardiologist on Tuesday. She told me everything looks great. All of the fluid that was once on my heart and lungs is no longer there. I go back in 6 months to see her. She took me off of all of my medicine, but told me to watch my salt intake for the time being. I feel pretty good, except for the allergies. The kids and I go to the gym a couple of days a week, which is wonderful. They have a daycare for the kids to go into, and Elizabeth just loves the caregivers. The kids and puppy are keeping me very busy.

Nala is doing a lot better. She likes to go outside and play with Elizabeth. I am just trying to work on her not jumping on Elizabeth or nipping at her legs. She is still doing a lot of puppy things, except she is housebroken now. WONDERFUL!!!! Nala was the one who is rough, but Elizabeth has a tendency to be rough with her. She is very good with both kids though, and I am very grateful. I took her to the vet a couple of weeks ago, and they told me she is a mastiff/lab mix, so she is going to be big dog, but a very good dog. She is also growing very fast.

We still miss our bubby everyday. We look at pictures of him all of the time. We received these absolute gorgeous blankets from a friend, and they have a picture of him on them. When Elizabeth goes to bed at night, I tell her to say goodnight to bubby, that we love him and miss him. She did, but than did something so cute, she kissed the picture on her blanket. School has started, and I see the parents walking to and from school with their little ones, and it just makes my heartache. Soccer season is once again starting, and I drive by the fields every now and again on my way to Clarksville, and I just try to imagine him out there running around with all of the other little kids. I find myself wondering what he would be like today. How he would react to certain events! We all miss him terribly and think of him every second of everyday. He is in every part of our lives.

I put up new pictures of the kids, so please check them out.

Thank you for stopping by and please sign the guestbook to let us know you were here.

Please continue to pray for our troops and their families. Please also pray for our caringbridge friends and their families.

Love to all,
Andrea

Friday, August 4, 2006 9:56 PM CDT

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Thursday, August 17, 2006

Well, we have a new puppy. Her name is Nala. She is just beautiful. She is certainly keeping me on my toes, especially trying to housebreak her. Elizabeth sure likes to boss her around. It is rather comical. I posted some pictures of her, I hope you can see them.

Love to all,
Andrea

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NEW PHOTOS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hello everyone!

I am sorry it has been so long since the last journal. I will try to keep you updated a little better. I made the trip to Kentucky last weekend and this time I did not go alone. I had Tony, Brandon, and Ashton. I wasn't sure at the time if I was brave or crazy. But, we had a really good time and Elizabeth was so happy to see the three boys. Maybe, we can get some pictures posted of Ashton and Elizabeth dressed up on Saturday morning.

Last week the Hopkinsville Eagle's held the 4th Annual Lexie Sabatino Poker Run. Many of you may remember Ryan was the honoree of the second poker run. The poker run the last two years have been alot like other events in our life without Ryan. Although we are happy to see our friends (Ben, Amy, Lexie, Addison,Curtis, Wes, and Roadkill, and everyone else), it is hard to be there without Ryan and this year without Phillip. During the ceremonies Saturday evening, Curtis told the hundreds of people there what an icredible impact Ryan had on his life and the lives of so many others. Andrea expressed her gratitude for the love and support they have received from the Eagle's and the continued support other families are receiving.

Then we went to lunch. You will never guess where we went, Chuck E. Cheese. It is the first time Andrea has been to Chuck E. Cheese without Ryan. I think having the boys with us made it a bit easier. Ashton is a Chuck E. Cheese regular, so it took alot of energy to keep up with him and Elizabeth. We were able to visit with some of the staff that were so good to Ryan and family.

The Kentucky crew are still having their share of maladies. Todd went back to Georgia for his post-surgery check up on his back. I haven't heard anything, so I guess it was good news. Not to be out done by the mishaps of the Shaw's and the Browns, Nate had an emergency appendectomy Tuesday. Okay, it is time for all of them to stay healthy.

Poor little Lucas is still having a terrible time with his reflux. He is such a good baby and so happy in spite of not being able to keep any of his food down for any length of time. He looks like Ryan and Elizabeth both, but he doesn't look like either one of them. I know that doesn't make any sense. Brown babies are round and pudgy - Lucas is long and lean.

The Pike County Relay for Life is September 29th. If you want to be on Ryan's relay for life team and have not contacted me or Pat, please get in touch with one of us. My email address is scourtney209@hotmail.com and Pat's is pattycap44@sbcglobal.net. Team membership is $10.00. The American Cancer Society sells luminaries at all Relay for Life events and Pat has challenged everyone to 100 luminaries in Ryan's name. The luminaries are $5.00 each. We are closing in on our goal, but we still need help.

Oh, I haven't mentioned beautiful, delightful Elizabeth much this entry. Elizabeth is one of a kind. Being the only little girl in the family doesn't phase her at all. She has such a good time when she is with the boys. She watches the computer at home for the pictures to start appearing on the screen. She can identify all of the family members as she sees them. She smiles really big and says' "Bubby", when she sees Ryan's pictures.

I am sure I am forgetting something that Andrea asked me to mention. I will just have to another journal.

Hopefully, we are on the countdown for Phillip's return to Ft. Campbell and his family.

Please keep our troops and their families in your prayers. Remember the caring bridge children and their families in your prayers.

God bless you all,
Nana Sherry

Tuesday, July 18, 2006 10:00 PM CDT

Hello everyone!

Unfortunately I am beginning this journal with some very sad news. For those of you that were at Andrea and Phillip's last summer during Ryan's illness, you may remember Tina Tomlinson with Pennyroyal Hospice. Tina is the social worker that came to visit us on a regular basis. Tina was always there for us then and has been very supportive over the last year. Tina's six year old son Zachary was tragically killed in a fatal accident Sunday. The wake was tonight and his funeral will be tomorrow. Please pray for Tina, her husband David, and their son Jacob. If you would like to send Tina and her family a card, you can send it to:

Tina and David Tomlinson
c/o Pennyroayl Hospice
101 West 18th Street
Hopkinsville, KY 42240

Going to the funeral home tonight for the wake was extremely hard for Andrea, it brought back so many memories from last year. Zachary died on the anniversary of the day of Ryan's funeral. There is no way to know the right words to say, but please say something and stay in touch.

Andrea and the kids are doing good. Lucas goes back to Vanderbilt Thursday to see the GI doctor. He is having trouble keeping his food down again. But, he loves to smile and talk to everyone. Elizabeth is going through the terrible two's magnified. She definitely has a mind of her own and alot of determination. She is in the process of potty training, I can't say that Andrea is potting training Elizabeth because Elizabeth will do it if she wants or not do it if she doesn't want. But, she is our Sissy and we love her more than words can say.

Phillip is doing good and getting very anxious to come home. I am pretty sure Andrea is just as anxious for him to be home.

Please pray for the Tomlinson family. Remember to pray for our troops all over the world and their families. Thank you for continuing to pray for our family

God Bless You All,
Nana Sherry

Wednesday, July 12, 2006 4:00 PM CDT

Hello everyone! Well, it has been one year and two days since our little buddy received his angel wings. I can't really say he earned them that day, he earned them every day of his life. The last year has brought about so much change, but the one thing that never changes is our love for Ryan and how much he is missed.

Since Ryan went to Heaven, Ashton Ryan Ogle was born and Lucas Matthew Brown was born. There have been at least two other babies born that are close to the family and have been named after Ryan. What a tribute to him to have so many children bearing his name in his honor.
Phillip has been in Iraq for over nine months and we hope he will be returning very soon. There have been accomplishments, defeats, and changes in all of our lives.

For many people the biggest change is how they look at life now. Ryan had such an impact on so many people, people he never met. I remember reading and hearing stories about children like Ryan that were called to Heaven early. In every story people talk about how special the child was, how unique he made everyone feel, and how everyone that met them loved them. I would think, of course they are saying that, I would say that too in their situation. But, it is true, Ryan was unique and special. Ryan had a different type of relationship with everyone he met and everyone was his friend. He had best friends everywhere and special names for everyone he loved. Ryan certainly brought joy to this world while he was here and it lingers in all of us.

Andrea and I have talked about the last year. In some ways it feels like it has gone by so quickly and in other ways it seems like it has taken an eternity to pass. We have been through our first Christmas, Halloween, Fourth of July, Ryan's birthday, and July 10th. We miss Philip so much, especially Andrea and the kids, at times like this.

Monday, Andrea, Lucas, Elizabeth, and I went to lunch with the McLamb family. It was a great lunch and gave us a chance to spend time with Rachel, the kids, and Grandma. Thanks Rachel for calling.

That evening we went to the Shaw's for dinner. After dinner we released balloons in Ryan's honor. Meme, Brandon, and Brady released balloons in Missouri and Dustin Shaw released balloons in California. After dinner and the little ones were in bed, we sat outside and told Ryan stories. Naturally, everyone had their own personal favorite - but we enjoyed hearing the other stories. It seems when we start telling Ryan stories we laugh as much as we cry. See, he is still bringing so much joy to our lives.

We are putting a Relay for Life team together in Ryan's name in Pike County, Missouri. For all of you living close, if you want to be a member of the team, email me or Mema Pat. We can have as many members as we want, so contact us to be a member. For everyone else, you can help by supporting the team members in their efforts to raise money. We will be selling luminaries in Ryan's name to be lit the night of the event. For every luminary sold, they read Ryan's name. Mema Pat has challenged everyone to have ONE HUNDRED luminaries lit in Ryan's honor that night. The luminaries are $5.00 each and once again, you can contact me or Pat to get more information. To have your name listed in the luminary book, we will have to have the money by Sept. 1. This is our first year at this and we got a late start, but we still think it will be a great success. More info to follow!!!!!

Thank you all for your continued support. The pain and heartache doesn't just disappear after the first year, so please continue to keep us in your prayers.

Please pray for the troops all over the world defending our freedom. Also, pray for the families of the troops for they are the unsung heroes in this war.

God Bless You All!!
Nana

Thursday, June 29, 2006 10:40 PM CDT

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BUDDY!!!!!!

Six years ago today, Andrea and Phillip were blessed by the birth of their baby boy, Ryan Douglas Brown. God had plans for Ryan that none of us knew about, but we are so thankful for the five years we had him. For Ryan, they were five full years.

Tonight in Louisiana, MO a balloon release was held in Ryan's honor. Family and friends came to show not only their love for Ryan, but their support for Andrea, Phillip, Elizabeth, Lucas, and the rest of the family.

Elizabeth didn't quite understand what we were doing and as soon as someone would hand her a balloon, she would let it go. Thankfully, Andrea had ordered a few mylar balloons and the florist put weights on them, so Sissy got to hold balloons.

The first few people to arrive were recruited to hold BUNCHES of balloons. As the others began to arrive, they were handed a balloon and a marker. Some of the men didn't realize their own strength, they would break the balloons as they signed them. But, laughing at them, I mean with them, lightened the atmosphere and we were all able to smile.

We started out with the BIG ANNOUNCEMENT about the Ryan Brown Relay for Life team (more info later). Then Aunt Jennie Guthrie, Aunt Nette, and Mema Pat all shared Ryan moments with us. Uncle Cory talked about memories he had of Ryan and the crazy phone calls. He spoke of the impact Ryan had on all of our lives and how much Ryan loved life. I read a verse I saw on Sam Walsdorf's caring bridge site that is also in Ryan's guestbook. We counted to three and let the balloons go. As the balloons were beginning to float away, Steven Ince walked up to Elizabeth with a huge bunch of balloons all tied together and gave them to her to release. No one realized that he had held back all of those balloons while they were being passed out. It was a very special moment. Thanks Steven!!
Elizabeth gave them kisses and hugs and then sent her own special balloon bouquet to her Bubby.

Andrea thanked everyone for being there, she expresed to all how much it means to know how loved and missed Ryan is.

There were several "feel good" moments tonight. The best feel good moment of the day had to be the phone call from Phillip and then, he had flowers delivered to Andrea and Elizabeth with the balloons. Steven saving the balloons for Elizabeth. Seeing Brad and Jason and their families. Rubbing Bryca's cute little belly. The words that were spoken by Mema Pat, Auntie Jen, Aunt Annette, and especially Uncle Cory ( who for a long time was simply "Uncle"). The number of people that took time out of their day to be there with us, the phone call from the CRAZY LADY in Georgia that doesn't know what time zone she is in. And Jen Doskal spending her first day off of bed rest with us. The entertainment provided by Ashton at dinner. Once again I find myself thanking everyone for their support, love, and encouragement. For everyone that released balloons at home no matter what time, what state, or what color balloon, we thank you.

Please continue to keep caringbridge families in your prayers. Please pray for our troops and their families.
Remember to hug your children and grandchildren tonight, extra long and extra tight.

God bless you all and KEEP BEELIEVING IN MIRACLES!!!!!

Love,
Nana Sherry

Wednesday, June 21, 2006 3:16 PM CDT

We will be having a balloon release on Thursday June 29th at 6:00 PM for Ryan's birthday. It will be in Louisiana, Missouri, at this time I am trying to get arrangements to have it at the Louisiana High School Practice Football Field. If the location changes I will let you know, otherwise I hope to see as many of you there as possible. I have ordered balloons for the release, and will have markers in the event you would like to write message on your balloon. If you are unable to make it and would like to release a balloon, it would be wonderful, and I am sure he would love it as well.

Thank you,
Andrea

Wednesday, June 7, 2006 6:26 PM CDT

UPDATE Thursday, June 8 12:30 PM

One year ago today, at about this exact time. We were sitting in a hospital room, surrounded by family. We were listening to Dr. Kuttesch talk to us, waiting for him to get the words out. It was so hard for him. He had to tell us the results of Ryan's MRI, he had to send us home for the last time, because there was nothing more they could do. We took Ryan off of chemo that day. We said goodbye to our family we found at the hospital.

At that point, I felt like I was back 15 months earlier when Dr. Kuttesch delivered the news about the disease Ryan had and what the future would hold for our small family.

I was in a fog at that point, but if I remember correctly, we packed up everything we had there, put him in a wagon and walked down the hall. It was almost like a scene from a movie, a very sad movie. We drove home, and he was put on hospice that day.

At the time we were only given days. They told us to get all of the family together, to spend some time with him. But, once again he proved the doctors wrong. He lived 5 more weeks.

I am sitting here thinking about my little buddy, crying, and missing him so much. I am not physically living those last five weeks over, but I am mentally and emotionally.

It has been 11 months since I have, touched, held, kissed, smelled, talked to, listen to, cuddled with, and done all of those things you do with your children. It is amazing what we take for granted, until it is no longer there. I miss him more everyday, and as I have noticed time does not heal ALL wounds. Because my heart is forever broken.

I hope to see as many of you as possible at the balloon release for his birthday.

Thank you for your continued support, love and prayers. Please continue to sign the guestbook, I still check it everyday for words of encouragement.

Please continue to pray for other caringbridge children. Please pray for our troops and their families.

Love to all,
Andrea

BALLOON RELEASE for Ryan's 6th Birthday!!!!

It is on June 29, 2006 at 6:00 PM.

I was going to have it at the cemetary but a change of plans. I have no idea where it will be, but if you are unable to make it and would still like to release a balloon. He would love it.

Remember last year for his fifth birthday we had Operation Balloon Drop. This year it will be Operation Balloon Release. I have ordered red and yellow balloons for the event. I am going to have black sharpie markers, so anyone that would like to write a message will be able too.

I do hope to see as many people there as possible. I will let everyone know when we have a definite location.

Love to all,
Andrea

Sunday, June 4, 2006 9:47 PM CDT

Hello everyone,

Wow! A lot of things can happen in a year. On June 4,2005, we spent the morning at St. Louis Children's Hospital. We were back at Children's the next day and left there to go straight to Vandie.

For those of you that did not know him, Ryan Douglas Brown had a smile that could light up a room. His laugh was infectious and he would trick on anyone regardless of who you are. He loved so many people and was loved by so many. He is missed by all that knew him.

Today is the first anniversary of the beginning of a journey that we had anticipated for fifteen long months, but we all hoped would never come. We prayed for a miracle and we had one. We had Ryan for five years and we had him for sixteen months after he was diagnosed, we have been blessed.

I couldn't remember all of the details, but Andrea has gotten Luke's doctors appointments all worked out. So, he will be having his tests at Blanchfield and then going to Vandie to see a pediatric GI.

On Ryan's birthday, June 29, Andrea would like to have a balloon release at the cemetery. She is planning it at 6:00pm. I am not sure of all of the details yet, but wanted to let you know so you could make plans to attend if you want to. If you are not able to be there, but want to be a part of the balloon release, just do it wherever you are. We will keep you posted and up to date.

Please continue to pray for Phillip and the other soldiers fighting for our freedom. Please pray for the military families. And, as always, keep the caringbridge families in your prayers.

God Bless,
Nana Sherry

Tuesday, May 23, 2006 9:06 AM CDT

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ELIZABETH!!!!!!!!!!!

Today is Elizabeth's second birthday. It is her first birthday without her big brother by her side and her first birthday with her own guardian angel named Ryan.

Andrea and I went to the memorial service at Vanderbilt on Sunday. The service was appropriately called "A Time to Remember". It gave the families attending a chance to remember their child or children in the presence of others that had also gone through the same loss. More later about the service itself.

Please take the time to send Elizabeth a birthday wish while you are here. Also, take the time to thank a vet or a member of the military or their family for the freedom we enjoy. Remember the troops and their families in your prayers. God Bless you all!
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Hello again -

The service at Vandie on Sunday was veyr nice. The service started out with one of the nurses from Vandie playing the harp. There were a few speakers and a beautiful song was performed by Mary Bomar Ritter who also wrote the song entitled "We Remember You"(we are going to try to get it on the website). Everyone then walked to the garden at the hospital and we were able to plant flowers in Ryan's memory. After the flower planting there was a reception with refreshments. Each family was given a cassette tape of the song that was performed during the memorial and a Rosemary plant. The Rosemary plant is symbolic of remembering.

It was very moving. I sat down in the auditorium, opened the brochure to the list of names of the children being honored, saw Ryan's name, and started crying so hard that I was making obnoxious noises. Lucky for Andrea there were only a few people there at that time because we were actually early to something. Anyway, I gathered my composure and then just sobbed quietly the rest of the afternoon. There was not a dry eye in thehouse during the performance of the song.

There is a qupte in the front of the brochure that Andrea really likes:

"There is comfort in the strength of love; 'twill make a thing endurable which would otherwise overset the brain or break the heart." (William Wordsworth)

Andrea, Lucas, and Elizabeth all went to the doctor on Monday. Andrea hs a sinus infection, Elizabeth has allergies, and finally they found a doctor that is willing to be pro-active with Luke's acid reflux. He is on two medicine's for his reflux, is going to undergo some tests at Blanchfield, and is being referred to a pediatric GI at Vandy. Without a fight he is getting the referral.

We always look back at the way things were for our family last year or the year before that and recall life without brain tumors, but the next several weeks are going to be particularly poignant. These are the weeks when our life seemed to change so dramatically. The weeks when one day Ryan was living with the brain tumor and was still living the life of a typical four year old then suddenly the reality of the situation came crashing down upon us. Weeks of not knowing what each day would bring and wondering how much longer our little buddy could fight his valiant fight. We learned so much from him in those few weeks about strength and not giving up. We learned so much about the big hearts of others, the kindness extended by so many people then was overwhelming. Family, friends, neighbors, and co-workers were there for us. Our family grew so much then, Iwould name the new members, but would be so afraid of leaving someone out and hurting their feelings. To all of you, Thank you just seems so inadequate, but you know we needed you so much then and still do.

Please reach out to someone in need. Don't be afraid of saying the wrong thing, the only wrong thing you can say is nothing. Pray for the troops and their families. Pray for families missing their children and loved ones that are in heaven. But, please, please pray for the families that are living everyday with children that have cancer for we do not know their fate nor their pain.

God Bless You All,
Nana

We miss you Buddy!!!

Saturday, May 6, 2006 7:47 PM CDT

NEW PICTURES!!!!

We are all doing good here.

I took Lucas to the doctor on Friday because of his acid reflux. The medicine just didn't seem to be working, so I took him back. They increased his dosage and put him on different formula. The doctors aren't concerned because he is gaining weight and man is he gaining weight. He weighs 10 lbs and 4 1/2 oz now. He has gained 2 lbs. in 2 weeks. The little porker!!!

Elizabeth is just growing up so fast. She continues to amaze me everyday with words and actions. I can't believe she will be two years old in just a little over two weeks. Where does the time go, it just seems like yesterday I was holding her as a newborn.

I still miss my buddy everyday. Everday I wonder how he would be with Lucas. The weather has been nice here, the kids are out riding there bikes, and are getting ready for the end of school. I think about last year when he was outside all of the time, riding up and down the sidewalk, playing on the swingset, and walking to and from school. But, now his bike is haning up and has not been touched in almost a year, Elizabeth plays on the swingset just about everyday, and there are no walks to and from school, we just walk by it now.

Lucas is calling me, so I will hopefully get on and write another journal soon.

Please continue to pray for our family. Pray for our troops and their families. Please continue to pray for the children who are fighting cancer and other diseases.

Love to all,
Andrea

Thursday, April 27, 2006 12:41 AM CDT

Hello everyone!!!!

I just want to do a real quick update.

We are all doing good.

Phillip is HOME!!!! He will be leaving again Saturday to go back.

I am feeling better each day, I just very tired, quickly. I go back to see the doctor on May 9 down at Vanderbilt.

Elizabeth had a fever yesterday and throughout the night, but seems to be doing really well this afternoon.

Lucas is just precious. He is doing well also, except for spitting up all of the time. They put him on medicine for acid reflux and cereal to help, but it doesn't seem to be working. But, he is still growing and gaining weight.

I will try to get some new pictures up soon. I am just not good at it, so I may have to wait until Nana can do it for me.

Thank you for your continued prayers and support.

Love to all,
Andrea

Friday, April 14, 2006 9:38 PM CDT

BABY PICTURES HAVE BEEN POSTED!!!!!

The power of prayer is amazing.

WE ARE HOME!!!!!!! Andrea was released from the hospital this afternoon and we are home with the kids, Amy, and Aunt Susan. The official diagnosis is "heart failure", but they don't know exactly what caused it. It happens to some women after they deliver a baby.

The babies received great care while we were away. Although, I think they have been spoiled even more, if that is possible with Elizabeth.

Not alot to report, we thank all of you for your prayers and support. I would like to thank all of you individually, but I know that I would forget someone and I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings.

Please pray for our troops. Remeber to include the caring bridge families in your prayers.

God Bless You All,
Nana Sherry

Thursday, April 13, 2006 10:16 AM CDT

Dear friends and family,

UPDATE - Andrea's condition is improving and she is going to be monitored for the next couple of days and then will be going home. There are still questions they do not have answers for but she will be closely monitored by a cardiologist after she returns home. Kids are doing great. Thank you all for your continuing concern.

Aunt Nae

We are once again in need of your prayers and support. Last night Andrea began having difficulty breathing and experienced chest pains. Nana Sherry took her to the emergency room at the base hospital and at 2:00 am she was airlifted to Vanderbilt where she has been in intensive care. The doctors at the base hospital said they thought there was already some heart damage.

Since early this morning Andrea has lost 3 liters of fluid and has been diagnosed with Post Partum Cardio Myopathy, translated it means congestive heart failure. They are continuing to run tests, the doctors at Vanderbilt told Sherry that her condition could stay the same or it could get worse, and they do not know how much heart damage she has sustained so far.

The plans are to move her into a regular room today and continue doing tests.

Phillip has been contacted but as of right now the Red Cross will not bring him home. The doctors at Vanderbilt are going to talk to the Red Cross again to try to convince them that Phillip needs to be here with his family. Where Phillip currently is in Iraq, he cannot make calls out nor can he receive calls.

Again, I ask you to lift this family up in your prayers. I will continue to update you as we receive information on Andrea's condition and whether Phillip will be brought home.

Andrea's sister, Amy, and her Aunt Susan are in Kentucky with the babies.

With Much Love to You All
Aunt Nae

Wednesday, April 12, 2006 10:53 AM CDT

Well, by now I think most of you know that at 9:07pm on Saturday, April 8, 2006 we welcomed Lucas Matthew Brown in to the world. Nana and Mema were there to help Mommy and to rejoice in his birth. Daddy had been on the phone as much as possible all day and called about three minutes after Lucas was born. He was able to hear the first real cry from Baby Luke.

There were bittersweet moments as I am sure you can all imagine. We started out by having a good cry when they first started getting Andrea ready for induction. Then, we were okay for the rest of the evening. Labor and delivery was uneventful, practically. There were no major events, but Andrea certainly felt like a pin cushion afterwards. They had to try three times to get the IV in, two times to break her water, she had to have her epidural twice, but they only had to stick her once to take blood. We went into the hospital at 3:00pm on Saturday, they broke her water at 5:00pm and started the Pitocin then, he was born four hours later.

Sunday afternoon Lucas started having problems with throwing up,stop breathing and turn colors (hands and feet would turn almost black and the rest of his body was a ruddy red color). The nurses were very concerned and took him into the observation area where they gave him a little oxygen and suctioned out his tummy. Things progressively seem to go downhill and the fear became overwhelming. Meme Pat had already left to go home before this started leaving only Andrea and me at the hospital. It was like going through last summer all over again. We had Cory email Phillip as there is no way to call him and he was on the phone as quick as possible. I know how horrible it was for us being right there, it had to be absolutely unbearable for him.

Some friends of the kids were there so they stayed with Andrea while I followed every move they made with Lucas. After a frantic call from Nana, Nate and Kristen came to the hospital to offer moral support. Thanks kids!!

They moved him to the Special Care Unit, started an IV and had monitors hooked up to him everywhere. Good News!!! On Monday morning, Dr. Edwards one of the staff pediatricians came in. They ordered a few tests that all came back normal and just let his tummy continue to rest by giving him nutrition supplements through the IV and not try to feed him. At 11:00am, nearly 24 hours after his last bottle, he ate and things went great. There have been no problems since then and he is thriving once again. His weight loss was not remarkable and Dr. Edwards is very happy with the progress he has made. Now, the answer to the mysterious sudden onset of illness. Babies swallow amniotic fluid during delivery, but it is also pushed out during the process of birth. Lucas was born so fast, the amniotic fluid stayed in his tummy and his sucking reflex was just a little immature and he had trouble making the transition from Mommy to real world. So, even though they are each small things, combined they were still small things, but produced very scarey symptoms. Now they are fine, home, and really missing Daddy.

Hats off to the staff at BACH. They were great. Phillip called Monday while Dr. Edwards was on the floor making rounds. When I told the nurses that he was on the phone and asked if Dr. Edwards could talk to him, they all dropped everything to make it happen. It was very reassuring to Phillip to be able to talk to the dr. firsthand.

Monday afternoon right before Dr. Edwards came to talk to us again, Andrea looked out the window of the hospital and there was a dove sitting in a tree branch by our window. It seemed to follow every move she made with its head. It stayed for a very, very long time. Then the dr. came in and told us that they were taking Lucas off of the IV and out of the Special Care Unit. I am sure most of you remember the dove's from last summer. The dove was Ryan's way of letting us know that he was there with his baby brother and it worked.

Lucas is now very alert and behaving just like a newborn baby should. Elizabeth is so happy to have him here, but for those of you that know her, she is reacting in typical Elizabeth fashion. So, she is going to get even more familiar with the corner.

Lucas loves to go to the bathroom when he doesn't have a diaper on. His last changing, he wet and pooped making quite a mess for Mommy. You would think she has never changed a diaper before.

We will post pictures as soon as we can. Thanks for your prayers and support.

Please continue to pray for our men and women in the Armed Forces defending our freedom all over the world. Please continue to pray for the families living without their children and those that are fighting the battles to save their children.

Love to you all,
Nana

Tuesday, April 11, 2006 2:03pm

We are home with Baby Lucas. We will post pictures later today. Then we will tell you about the first few days in the life of Lucas Matthew Brown.

To all the friends and family of Andrea, Phillip, Ryan and Elizabeth,

They are proud to announce the arrive of the newest member of their family,

LUCAS MATTHEW BROWN
BORN AT 9:07 PM
APRIL 8, 2006
8 LBS. 13 OZ.
22 INCHES

Mommy and baby are doing great and Daddy called within a few minutes after Lucas' birth. A very reliable source (Nana Sherry) said that he looks a lot like Elizabeth did 22 months ago only he has light hair like his Daddy.

We rejoice with thanksgiving and praise to the Lord for blessing this family with the gift of Lucas. Continue to lift them up in your prayers.

Saturday, April 1, 2006 1:28 PM CST

I just put up different pictures of Ryan in the photo album!!!

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April 5, 2006

We went to eat Chinese today for lunch, Andrea had to have one last Chinese buffet before Saturday. The fortune cookies we received seemed so appropriate with what is going on in our lives right now. Andrea wanted to share them with all of you:
Elizabeth's read: The best profit of future is the past.
Andrea's read: Youe emotional nature is strong and sensitive.
Mine read: God looks after you especially.

We felt like they were written just for us, just for today. We have all been having a tough Ryan week. It could be because we were in Florida this time last year or it could be the excitement of the baby coming Saturday or it could be that it has been nine months and we miss him terribly. Or, it could be all three. We will let everyone know something as soon as we can on Saturday. Sorry, but Daddy gets the news before anyone else.
God bless you all!
Nana

Once again, I sit, I think about what to say, and the words just do not come to me. I have the tendency to think of things to write down on the journal when I am no where near a computer, and by the time I make it home, it doesn't come to me the second time around like it did the first time.

A week from today, I am supposed to go into the hospital for the birth of our new baby boy. We still are undecided on a name. Phillip and I keep throwing names back and forth to one another, via email, but have not completely decided on just ONE!!!! We both find names that we liked better than the last one. I know it will come to us.

Elizabeth is getting really big. Her vocabulary is expanding daily. She is growing into quite the little person.

I will have someone post an update and pictures of when the new baby arrives. I just wanted to really let you all know today, the latest baby news.

Thank you for your continued support and prayers. Please sign the guestbook. It still brings us great strength to read the journal entries.

Love to all,
Andrea

Saturday, March 18, 2006 5:01 PM CST

Hello everyone!

No, you have not lost your mind. No, nothing is wrong. Yes, this is our second journal in two days.

Elizabeth went to "SUPER SATURDAY" today here at Fort Campbell. It is a day of free daycare for the families here. So, Andrea and I was able to get alot done.

We have shopped and shopped for a baby bed. The poor little guy is not going to have a bed and he doesn't have a name. But, since Nana functions well at the last minute, he will have both before he arrives.

We found a verse today that we would like to share with all of you. It so fits into the Ryan philosophy. "Wish not so much to live long as to live well." Our little buddy may have only lived five years, but he lived well.

Today is another anniversary. It is the second anniversary of Ryan's unbirthday party. The day of diagnosis, Ryan told us that the next day was his birthday. So, Mema Pat, Papa Bob, and Uncle Greg drove back to Ft. Campbell and when we arrived from Nashville on the 18th, Ryan had the best unbirthday you can imagine. The house was decorated with balloons and crepe paper. There was a birthday cake, lots of food, and most of all family and friends. The word spread throughout the Ft. Campbell family rather quickly and we had soldiers everywhere. Ryan was so excited, he received really cool presents. We still have to laugh occassionally at the Lt. sitting on the floor trying to put together the Hot Wheels track. Well, then a Sgt. tried to help him and it didn't get any better. Finally, the track was put together and the BIG BOYS got to play with it. Ryan played with it after they left.

Last year Ryan had a visit from Chuck E. Cheese and then had a big party compliments of the Chuckster. I have to tell you all, if you ever have a chance to go to the Chuck E. Cheese in Clarksville, TN. please do. They are the most fantastic bunch of people. They always made Ryan smile and they knew him by name at the restaurant. Chuck came to visit again, they sent flowers with CEC balloons and a CEC plush doll to the funeral in Missouri, and they came to his memorial service in TN. Thanks to all of you, especially you Chuck (we know it wasn't easy on you).

Ryan's TV debut came about that weekend. Alex from a TV station in Nashville came up to interview the kids and Ryan. This was definitely the first of many TV and newpaper interviews that our shining star would be a part of.

We are slowly turning Ryan's room into the "boy's" room. The new baby will go in the room that Ryan was in, but Ryan will still be there.

It is so wonderful to have friends and family like all of you. Your support keeps us going. We have made acquaintances, friends, and new family through this journey. Thanks to all of you once again!!

Please pray for our troops and their families. Pray for all of the families dealing with the loss of a child or that are fighting the BEAST now. Remember to pray for a miracle for others, we were blessed with ours - we called him Ryan Douglas Brown.

God Bless You All,
Nana

Countdown to the new baby - 21 days

Thursday, March 16, 2006 10:07 PM CST

Hello everyone!

Sorry it has been so long since our last journal entry. Everyone is doing really good. Andrea is feeling good and VERY pregnant. In just three weeks we will have a new baby to spoil, I can't say to love because we already love him.

Phillip is doing as well as anyone can do in the big sandbox. We all miss him very much,but Andrea and Elizabeth really miss him. We were all so excited to see him when he was home last month.

Well, for all of the avid Ryan followers you know that today is the day our little Buddy went to Vandie for the first time. At 9:00 this morning I thought, "Gee this time two years ago I was on the phone with Andrea talking about taking him to another hospital." At 3:15pm I was thinking," Two years ago at this time, I was hearing my baby crying on the phone because she had just been told her baby had a mass on his brain." When the kids called us, Grandma Pat and I both said ,"We will be right there." We lived six hours away - what were we thinking - right there. Two years ago tonight, Meme and I spent the night at Ronald McDonald House for the first time.

Two years ago tomorrow, we found out that our lives would never be the same again. We started asking everyone on the 16th of March to pray for our little trooper. On the 17th we asked everyone to pray for a miracle. Thank you - our miracle was granted. We were so blessed with Ryan in our lives. We were so blessed to have 16 months of life with Ryan after diagnosis, that is much longer than most kids have after diagnosis. We were so blessed that Ryan had the quality of life he had for so long after diagnosis. So, we were granted our miracle.

I have thought about this day alot lately. I have thought about this journal entry and at first I thought I would write something about a true miracle would have been to have Ryan here with us. We have Ryan here with us, every minute of every day. Forever and always, he is right beside us.

Our Ryan stories make us smile so much. He made us laugh when he was here beside us physically and he makes us laugh now that he is here with us spiritually.

For anyone that didn't know, we have alot of little Ryan's running around. There have been four babies given the middle name of Ryan now because of the impact he had on their lives. What a legacy!!!

Elizabeth is so funny. She is talking alot and you can carry on a conversation with her. If she thinks you are crying, she will look at you and say, "Are you alright?" She can hear a song or see something and start saying "Bubby". She remembers him.

Thank you for your continued support for our family. Pray for our troops and their families. Please sign the guestbook. KEEP BEELIEVING IN MIRACLES!!!!! (We were blessed with our miracle)

Love,
Nana Sherry

Wednesday, February 22, 2006 9:33 AM CST

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UPDATE! Sunday, February 26, 2006
Phillip had to leave us again yesterday morning. We had a wonderful time while he was home, but it was not long enough. Of course, yesterday and today have been exceptionally hard days. It was harder for him to go the second time than it was the first time, isn't it weird how that works. But, just the same it was hard both times.

I miss Ryan everyday, I think of him more times than I can count throughout the day. But, while his daddy was home, it was a different kind of thought. I usually think of memories, different things, but while Phillip was home, it was more of a what would it be like for him to be here, to pick Phillip up from the airport and drop him off. How would his reaction be to all of this going on, right now?

I just want them both back. I don't want to have to miss either one of them anymore. I know Phillip will be coming home before I know it, but he is not here now. And how long will I have to wait to see, touch, smell, or hear my little boy again. It will be a very, very, very long time.

Please continue to pray for everyone!!

Love to all,
Andrea
***************************************
I am so sorry, it has been almost a month since I have done a journal.

I have a surprise for everyone!!!! Phillip came home about two weeks ago, not for good. He is just home on mid-tour, and will be leaving again over the weekend. But, that is the main reason I have not been on here. So, for all of you keeping my secret, you don't have to anymore. Hehe!!!

We have been trying to spend as much quality time with each other as possible, since we don't have much quantity. Elizabeth has been loving it, she loves her daddy so much. It is going to be really hard when he leaves again. She will not let him out of her sight. She gets very upset when he puts his coat on or even touches his uniform.

We did go to back to Missouri for a few days, to surprise our family. They were all very surprised, no one knew he was coming home, except for me. That's right, not even NANA! I called her the day he flew into Nashville.

Everyone is doing really well. We are missing our buddy very much. Elizabeth in the last few days, has been walking around the house, just saying BUBBY, BUBBY, over and over again. She will even sit in her chair while eating and just call his name out.

Please keep praying for everyone.

Love to all,
Andrea

Monday, January 30, 2006 7:07 PM CST

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February 4, 2006

Please pray for Sam Walsdorf's family. Sam received his wings on Thursday, February 2, 2006.

Please pray for Cameron Brook's family. Cameron received his wings on Friday, February 3, 2006.

Please go to each family and let them know we are there for them.
www.caringbridge.org/visit/samwalsdorf
www.caringbridge.org/ct/cameron
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I put DIFFERENT pictures up today. 01/31/06
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I found this from another website, and thought I would share it with all of you. What is normal, the new "normal."

WHAT IS NORMAL

NORMAL is trying to decide what to take to the cemetery for Christmas, birthdays, Valentine's day and Easter.

NORMAL is feeling like you know how to act and are more comfortable with a funeral than a wedding or a birthday party. Yet, feeling a stab of pain in your heart when you smell the flowers, see the casket, and all the crying
people.

NORMAL is feeling like you can't sit through another minute without screaming because you just don't like to sit through church anymore. And yet at the same time feeling like you have more faith in God than you ever had before.

NORMAL is having tears waiting behind every smile when you realize someone important is missing from all the important events in your families life.
NORMAL is not sleeping because a thousand "what ifs" go through your head constantly.

NORMAL is having the TV on the minute you walk into the house to have some "noise" because the silence is deafening.

NORMAL is telling the story of your child's death as if it were an everyday common event and then gasping in horror at how awful it sounds. And yet realizing it has become part of normal conversation.

NORMAL is each year coming up with the difficult task of how to honor your child's memory and their birthday and surviving those days. And trying to find a balloon or flag that fits the occasion, "Happy Birthday"? Not really!

NORMAL is a new friendship with another bereaved parent and meeting over coffee and talking and crying together over your children. And worrying together over the surviving children.

NORMAL is being too tired to care if you paid your bills, cleaned your house, did the laundry or if there is food in the house.

NORMAL is wondering this time whether you are going to say you have 1 or 2 children because you will never see this person again, and is it worth explaining that one of them has passed away. And yet, when you say 1 child to avoid the problem you feel horrible as if you have betrayed your child.

NORMAL is hiding all the things that have become "normal" for you to feel, so that everyone around you will think you are "NORMAL".

Love to all,
Andrea

Tuesday, January 17, 2006 2:00 PM CST

Nana put a picture up of the bench on the photos page.
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Hello All,

It is long overdue for an update, I know! It sometimes just gets really hard to update about everyday life, when a part of that life is missing, a big part.

We have started a new year, a new beginning as some like to look at it. But to those of you who have lost children, it is a new year, a year without your child. You don't want it to be a new beginning, because you rather liked the old one, you want the old beginnig back.

January 10, was six months since our little boy went to Heaven! January 16, has been six months, since we buried our son. It has been a rough week, it may not show on the outside, but on the inside I am breaking, my heart still breaks.

I want to THANK, with a huge THANK YOU, Ryan's teachers and staff at Marshall Elementary School. On Friday, January 7, 2005 his preschool class dedicated a concrete bench in front of the school to him. It is right when you walk up,so you can't miss it. It is so beautiful. It has his name, birthday, the day he passed, and who it is from on top. A little angel is sitting right in front of the bench, and flowers can be planted all around. It is a tribute to our little buddy that will never be forgotten. He will always be remembered, and people walk into the school and ask about him. THANK YOU AGAIN to Ms. Sharon and Ms. Chrystal's Preschool PM class.

I will try to get a picture up of it as soon as I can.

Elizabeth and I have both been feeling alittle under the weather this last week, and continuing into this week. We are just letting them run their courses, not much else you can do.

The baby is doing great! Still no names!

Please continue to pray for our family. Please pray for our troops. Pray for all of the families that are dealing with this horrible disease. Pray for the families trying really hard to make it through each and everday without their child.

Love to all,
Andrea

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