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Hope you all have a wonderful Christmas.I know that Conor will be watching and smiling down on you.Only a few more weeks till the new bundle of Joy arrives.Adian must be getting so excited to be a big brother.Thinking of you always.

Dear Mr. Hallmark,

I am writing to you from heaven, and though it must appear,
A rather strange idea, I see everything from here,
I just popped in to visit, your stores to find a card,
A card of love for my parents, as this day for them is hard,
There must be some mistake I thought, every card you can imagine,
except I could not find a card, from a child that lives in heaven,
they are still a parent too, no matter where I reside,
I had to leave, they understand, but oh the tears they cried,
I thought that if I wrote to you, that you would come to know,
that though I live in heaven now, I still love my parents so,
they talk with me, and dreams with me, we still share laughter too,
memories are our way of speaking now, would you see what you can do?
my parents carry me in their heart, their tears they hide from sight,
they plants flowers in my garden, there my living memory dwells,
they writes to other grieving parents, trying to ease there pain as well,
so you see Mr. Hallmark, though I no longer live on earth,
I must find a way, to remind her of her wondrous worth,
they need to be honored, and be remembered too,
just as the children of the earth will do,
thank you Mr. Hallmark, I know you will do your best,
find a way to tell them, how much they mean to me,
until I can do it for myself, when she joins me in eternity.


I know Christmas must be so hard for you although I can't comprehend how difficult it must be. We lost one of our Post Pal Children (Nathan V) to JMML, I had forgotten what condition Conor had at the time but they reminded me so much of each other- both loving thomas the tank engine for one!

All my love,

Viks

The Gap

The gap between those who have lost children and those who have not is profoundly difficult to bridge. No one, whose children are well and intact can be expected to understand what parents who have lost children have absorbed and what they bear. Our children come to us through every blade of grass, every crack in the sidewalk, every bowl of breakfast cereal. We seek contact with their atoms, their hairbrush, their toothbrush, their clothing. We reach for what was integrally woven into the fabric of our lives, now torn and shredded.
A black hole has been blown through our souls and, indeed, it often does not allow the light to escape. It is a difficult place. For us to enter there is to be cut deeply, and torn anew, each time we go there, by the jagged edges of our loss. Yet we return, again and again, for that is where our children now reside. This will be so for years to come and it will change us profoundly. At some point in the distant future, the edges of that hole will have tempered and softened but the empty space will remain - a life sentence.
Our friends will change through this. There is no avoiding it. We grieve for our children, in part, through talking about them and our feelings for having lost them. Some go there with us, others cannot and through their denial and a further measure, however unwittingly, to an already heavy burden. Assuming that we may be feeling "better" six months later is simply "to not get it." The excruciating and isolating reality that bereaved parents feel is hermetically sealed from the nature of any other human experience. Thus it is a trap - those whose compassion and insight we most need are those for whom we abhor the experience that would allow them that sensitivity and capacity. And yet, somehow there are those, each in their own fashion, who have found a way to reach us and stay, to our comfort. They have understood, again each in their own way, that our children remain our children through our memory of them. Their memory is sustained through speaking about them and our feelings about their death. Deny this and you deny their life. Deny their life and you no longer have a place in ours.
We recognize that we have moved to an emotional place where it is often very difficult to reach us. Our attempts to be normal are painful and the day to day carries a silent, screaming anguish that accompanies us, sometimes from moment to moment. Were we to give it its own voice we fear we would become truly unreachable, and so we remain "strong" for a host of reasons even as the strength saps our energy and drains our will. Were we to act out our true feelings we would be impossible to be with. We resent having to act normal, yet we dare not do otherwise. People who understand this dynamic are our gold standard. Working our way through this over the years will change us as does every experience - and extreme experience changes one extremely. We know we will have recovered when, as we have read, it is no longer so painful to be normal. We do not know who we will be at that point or who will still be with us.
We have read that the gap is so difficult that, often, bereaved parents must attempt to reach out to friends and relatives or risk losing them. This is our attempt. For those untarnished by such events, who wish to know in some way what they, thankfully, do not know, read this. It may provide a window that is helpful for both sides of the gap.

By
Michael Crenlinsten


LOVE ALWAYS BRENDA MY LOVING DAD'S SITE <brurka@shaw.ca>
EDMONTON ,ALBERTA , - Wednesday, November 22, 2006 2:07 AM CST

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I've only signed your guestbook a few times, and I didn't find out about Conor until after he'd passed on, but I still think about your family often. You've touched me so very deeply. I came on to let you know that I think of you, and to wish you a Happy Thanksgiving (in America, anyway--I forgot you are in Canada!) Anyway, just know that your amazing son is remembered and loved by me.
Oh, and congratulations on the pregnancy! I read the guestbook--how exciting!
thanks for sharing your darling son with us,
Becca Parra
Becca Parra <beccaparra@hotmail.com>
Madison, WI USA - Tuesday, November 21, 2006 10:41 AM CST

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YOUR ALWAYS ON MY MIND TAKE CARE .

LOVE ALWAYS BRENDA MY LOVING DAD'S SITE <brurka@shaw.ca>
EDMONTON ,ALBERTA , - Monday, November 20, 2006 3:09 PM CST

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Hey guys. Was thinking about you and wanted to pop my head up and say "hi." Kristy, I hope you're feeling well. Take care and know that I think of you all often.

Love,
Stacey <stacey@nbta-eng.com>
Baton Rouge, La USA - Wednesday, November 15, 2006 1:11 PM CST

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Less and less people are signing the guestbook... I don't stop by often anymore, but I do think of you nearly everyday. Hope you are all well, and sledding in all the snow!

Carolyn
Carolyn Allen <abknsmom@telus.net>
Grande Prairie, AB Canada - Tuesday, November 14, 2006 9:58 PM CST

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Thinking of you all today!
Tracy Eckhardt (Hug a Bug) and Christopher <teckhardt@sympatico.ca>
Kitchener, ON Canada - Monday, November 13, 2006 1:24 PM CST

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Thanks Little man.Missing you.I'll Love You Forever.Nana
Carol mercer <conaid@magma.ca>
- Monday, November 13, 2006 12:22 AM CST

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Thinking of you on this cold November day. I hope everyone is well and that you are feeling well, Kristi. I am assuming that the new baby is arriving in January? You must be getting so excited! He/she will love hearing your stories about Conor. My thoughts are with you, I think of you and of Conor often.
Lisa Kingsbury <dldarakingsbury@msn.com>
Sandy, UT - Monday, November 13, 2006 11:51 AM CST

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Hi guys!
Just wanted to let you know that Conor stories still flood the unit between us 'seasoned' nurses! I remember our snuggle parties our jumping parties and those darn bouncy balls like it was yesterday!! I sure miss giggling with Conor!! CONGRATS on the new baby!! If you are in town after the birth, please pop in and visit, the new hospital is beautiful-Conor would have loved it. Love you guys, miss you guys, Jenny
Jenny Langille <jenpritchard@shaw.ca>
Calgary, AB - Sunday, November 12, 2006 10:21 AM CST

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I still check in every day. I hope the lack of updates means that life is good and busy and that you have found some small measure of peace. I know that you will never get over losing your precious boy and I hope you know that we will never forget him or what you have taught us through your grief. I hope you check the guest book occasionally and see that even after months of no entries that so many are still thinking about you and Conor and Darren and Aidan. And I hope you see what a powerful impact Conor had on all of us - and that we're still here holding your family close every step in your journey.
Alice
- Thursday, November 9, 2006 8:53 AM CST

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You are on my mind! Hope you are all well.
Hugs
Liz <e.kihlstrom@comcast.net>
Kirkland, w USA - Wednesday, November 8, 2006 11:29 PM CST

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My thoughts are with you. I hope all is well.
Lisa Kingsbury <dldarakingsbury@msn.com>
Sandy, UT - Sunday, November 5, 2006 4:42 PM CST

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My thoughts are with you today.
Lisa
- Monday, October 30, 2006 10:57 AM CST

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I drove through Wetaskiwin today for the first time, and saw the water tower you always wrote about...made me think of connor...

Elizabeth
Calgary, AB - Sunday, October 29, 2006 9:39 PM CST

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We just dropped by to check on you today.

Jodi and McKayla

Jodi Phelan <jodiphelan@hotmail.com>
Sherwood Park, AB Canada - Tuesday, October 24, 2006 0:04 AM CDT

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Thinking of you, Kristy. Remember Conor's Birth. Hope you celebrated with all his favorite things...

Carolyn
Carolyn Allen <aknsmom@telus.net>
Grande Prairie, AB - Wednesday, October 18, 2006 10:12 PM CDT

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Happy Birthday Babby
i love you so much i miss you lottssss
i can't wait till the new baby comes and there is snoww
wats upp with that?!?!?! eh?
well yeah i havn't seen aidan in like forever so i can't wait till i get a few days off work so that i can come by and see you guys
i can't stop thinking that your this old already!!
wow.
well i gotta be going for supper baby
ilu
katie
p.s. conor i miss you
p.s.s. aidan i miss you
p.s.s.s.kristy please wright soon.
katie <xo_katie_xo92@hotmail.com>
wetaskiwin, alberta canada - Wednesday, October 18, 2006 6:46 PM CDT

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Happy Birthday, Conor! I know you're celebrating somewhere! Probably playing with your Thomas trains and thinking of ways to show your family that you are always with them. This must be a very hard day for your mommy and daddy and brother. But, also a day to celebrate, it's the day that you changed their lives forever! You are such a beautiful boy with a beautiful smile and spirit. Your light is shining bright. Thinking of you and your family today and every day.
Lisa Kingsbury <dldarakingsbury@msn.com>
Sandy, UT - Wednesday, October 18, 2006 5:36 PM CDT

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Hiya, just wanted to let you know ive been thinking of you today. We have a little boy on Post Pals who has JMML and loves Thomas the tank engine- when ever i hear about him and his trains i think of your conor.

Love Viks
viks <viks@postpals.co.uk>
- Wednesday, October 18, 2006 1:28 PM CDT

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I was thinking of you today, now I know why "Happy Birthday Conor".
Margaret and Melissa
Cold Lake, AB - Wednesday, October 18, 2006 10:01 AM CDT

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Coming by to say "Happy Birthday, Conor!" You are on my mind today!
Suzanne <iamjsrc@gmail.com>
Nicholson, GA United States - Wednesday, October 18, 2006 9:47 AM CDT

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Conor I'm thinking of you today.I miss you.Love you forever....Pop xxx,ooo
Don Pacholka, ... Pop <d_pacholka@hotmail.com>
CBS , NL CANADA - Wednesday, October 18, 2006 8:27 AM CDT

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Thinking of you all tonight! Happy Birthday Connor! Sending some hugs!
Tracy Eckhardt (Hug a Bug) and Christopher <teckhardt@sympatico.ca>
Kitchener, ON Canada - Wednesday, October 18, 2006 0:05 AM CDT

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Thinking of you all on this bittersweet day.
Love,
Marcia and the gang, Hug a Bug, Trinity Tweens, http://trinitytweens.tripod.com <marciat@sympatico.ca>
Bradford, ON - Tuesday, October 17, 2006 11:01 PM CDT

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Happy Birthday Conor - will have to find a couple of balloons to send your way!
Ron <ron@borsholm.ca>
Victoria, BC Canada - Tuesday, October 17, 2006 10:29 PM CDT

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Hi Conor, just stopping in ... tomorrow is your birthday and I would like to wish you a very Happy Birthday! I think of you often and your family.
Heather <hbuchana@telus.net>
Calgary, - Tuesday, October 17, 2006 9:59 PM CDT

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Conor is on my mind today so I stopped in and realized it was the day before his birthday. Hello to all of you.

Wendy
(unit clerk 4E3)
wendy howard <wendyhoward1@hotmail.com>
edmonton, ab canada - Tuesday, October 17, 2006 4:44 PM CDT

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Thinking of you all and hope that you had a wonderful Thanksgiving. Miss your updates. Hope you are feeling well Kristy.
Heather <hbuchana@telus.net>
Calgary, - Wednesday, October 11, 2006 10:43 PM CDT

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I hope you are feeling well. You are probably feeling the baby kicking by now. What an awesome feeling. Some memories fade, but not that one. I know your memories of Conor will never fade. I love coming and reading your stories about Conor and Aidan. I hope you are all doing well. Not that any time would be easy, but this month must be harder than some. I hope that the memories of your wonderful time together help ease the pain some. He's always with you, but you know that.
Lisa Kingsbury <dldarakingsbury@msn.com>
Sandy, UT - Wednesday, October 11, 2006 1:53 PM CDT

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Still checking on you. I miss those updates, but I hope things are going well.
Pam <lakenormanheat@yahoo.com>
Denver, NC USA - Wednesday, October 11, 2006 7:56 AM CDT

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Missing your updates but am praying that no news is good news. Hope you are feeling well during the pregnancy.
Lisa
- Saturday, October 7, 2006 10:37 AM CDT

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Thinking of you today and every day. Hope all is well. I hope the baby is growing well and healthy. I'm sure you are looking forward to the arrival. Do you know if it's a boy or girl? I bet Aidan is excited. Conor is taking good care of that baby until it is ready to join you. Take care.
Lisa Kingsbury <dldarakingsbury@msn.com>
Sandy, UT - Thursday, September 28, 2006 2:51 PM CDT

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miss you willy
katie <hottie_101_katie@hotmail.com>
- Wednesday, September 27, 2006 10:50 AM CDT

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JUST LETTING YOU ALL KNOW THAT I'M THINKING ABOUT YOU.

CONOR I SURE MISS YOU.I THINK ABOUT YOU ALL THE TIME.YOU WILL FOREVER BE IN MY HEART.I HAVE YOUR PICTURE ON MY COMPUTER DESK SO I CAN SEE YOU EVERYDAY.THE KIDS MISS YOU TOO.JASON REALLY MISSES YOU.HE ALWAYS TALKS ABOUT YOU COMING OVER TO THE HOUSE AND GOING DOWN ON OUR SLIDE AND HOW HE WOULD ALWAYS GO TO YOUR HOUSE TO PLAY WITH YOU BEFORE YOU MOVED.SENDING YOU LOTS OF LOVE UP TO HEAVEN AND TO YOUR MOM AND DAD AND LITTLE ADIAN AND BABY ON THE WAY.
LOVE ALWAYS BRENDAMY LOVING DAD'S SITE <brurka@shaw.ca>
EDMONTON ,ALBERTA , - Sunday, September 24, 2006 1:13 AM CDT

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PUT ANOTHER DADDY ON THE DADDY MACHINE!
DAD <dford_66@yahoo.ca>
BEAUMONT, CANADA - Thursday, September 21, 2006 9:14 PM CDT

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Thinking of you all tonight......
Heather <hbuchana@telus.net>
Calgary, - Wednesday, September 20, 2006 11:55 PM CDT

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Thomas is on TV and Conor is on my mind. Hope you are all doing well and that you are feeling well, Kristi. Your little boy touched people that never even met him. That is amazing, isn't it. Hope to hear from you sometime.
Lisa Kingsbury <dldarakingsbury@msn.com>
Sandy, UT - Wednesday, September 20, 2006 3:42 PM CDT

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We just dropped by to check on you today.

Jodi and McKayla

Jodi Phelan <jodiphelan@hotmail.com>
Sherwood Park, AB Canada - Sunday, September 17, 2006 1:40 PM CDT

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Missing you all. Hope you are well.
Lisa
- Wednesday, September 13, 2006 1:14 PM CDT

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Thinking of you Kristy as you and many other parents were remembering their loved ones yesterday.

Carolyn mom to Beautiful Britni www.caringbridge.org/canada/britni
Canada
Grande Prairie, AB Canada - Monday, September 11, 2006 8:35 AM CDT

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Hugs and oodles of prayers!
Love
Mike and Mary Slade and children <mar-e@rogers.com>
Guelph, Ontario, Canada - Monday, September 11, 2006 7:48 AM CDT

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hey
whats up guys
just sayin bi b/c we are going to disneyland in the
mornig really early so bi bi willy i might call
thanx a lot for thouse cloths and
i gtg so ttyl

kayla <kaylamaygard@msn.com>
wetaskiwin, ab canada - Saturday, September 9, 2006 1:18 PM CDT

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Just popping in to say hi. Been thinking about you guys a lot lately. My nephew has gotten way into Thomas, so everytime I pick something up for him it makes me think of Conor & Aidan. Hope y'all are doing well and that your pregnancy is going smoothly. Take care!
Stacey Suire <stacey@nbta-eng.com>
Baton Rouge, LA UsA - Friday, September 8, 2006 3:00 PM CDT

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Hi Little Man ,Miss you soooooooooooooo much,School started today and I still wonder ,guess I always will.I'll Love You Forever.Your nana
carol mercer <conaid@magma.ca>
- Tuesday, September 5, 2006 3:57 PM CDT

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Dear Kristy and family,

Congratulations upon your pregnancy! I know Conor and Aidan will be great big brothers to your New Year child. I hope the pregnancy is going well. I think of both Conor and Aidan often. If you ever get the inclination, please post a picture of Aidan. I would truly love to see how he looks now.
Much love,
Leeann
Leeann <niccofive@aol.com>
ellicott city, md - Sunday, September 3, 2006 9:10 PM CDT

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Happy very belated birthday Mr Aidan! We hope you had a good one. And to Kristy and Darren, congratulations on your wonderful news about the new bub. Look after yourself Kristy. I hope you are feeling better now.

Lots of love and hugs XXXXX

Michelle, Phil, Bianca and Elliott Hickey
Brisbane, QUEENSLAND Australia - Wednesday, August 30, 2006 8:14 PM CDT

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For some reason, I felt compelled to read back through Conor's journal. I have read it before, but didn't really realize how long of a battle you all fought. Through it all you all remained strong and followed Conor's lead. You did everything you could for him and made sure that he was part of the decisions. He obviously was very happy and very loved. It is so amazing how a boy that young had such insight and such strength and courage. He learned that from his parents. I don't know what I really want to say to you other than I am so sorry for all you have gone through, but I know you wouldn't change it, for you got to have this amazing little man in your lives for 4 years. Not long enough, but for some reason, that is how it was meant to be. I ache for you and for your loss, but I rejoice for you and the memories that you have. You have touched my life by sharing yours, and I want to thank you for that. I pray that you are feeling well and that Conor is visiting you often.
Lisa Kingsbury <dldarakingsbury@msn.com>
Sandy, UT - Tuesday, August 22, 2006 2:48 PM CDT

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I was posting this picture of Cassie's site, and thought I would swing by your page to say "hello". A couple of weeks ago I was sent some Thomas the thank enginge stickers (to send to Post Pal kids), they made me think of Connor and his love for TTTE.

Lots of love

Viks


a href=http://www.postpals.co.uk>
viks <viks@postpals.co.uk>
- Saturday, August 19, 2006 5:15 PM CDT

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Happy belated birthday to Aidan! I miss reading your updates but I hope all is well for you and your family. I was listening to "Love is Stronger than Death" by The The today and Conor's sweet face kept popping up in my head.
Meghan <Smilneyz@aol.com>
Renton, WA USA - Saturday, August 19, 2006 4:12 AM CDT

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I hope you still check the site for messages once in a while. I hope they help comfort you some. I think of your family and Conor every day. I will always think of Conor whenever I see a train. I know that there are so many people out there that think of Conor and who were touched by Conor's life, by his light. They may not sign in, but I know they are thinking of you and remembering him. I miss your stories about him. I hope that you are settling into your new home and that you are feeling well. I hope Aidan is taking good care of you. I smile every time I come here and see Conor's beautiful face and see his personality radiate through his smile. I cry, too, to even imagine how much you miss him. I can only hope that the happy memories bring you comfort and that the pain will fade at least some with time.
Lisa Kingsbury <dldarakingsbury@msn.com>
Sandy, UT - Thursday, August 17, 2006 3:50 PM CDT

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Kristy,

I check this page often looking for updates. There haven't been any in months. For some reason, I decided to see if anyone is leaving entries in your guestbook to make sure this site is still active. Well, lo and behold, I had no idea you are expecting! Oh my gosh! That's such wonderful news. Congratulations! I can only imagine what bittersweet feelings you must be feeling. I, too, wish Conor could share in the joy. Kristy, I bet he is excited...you just can't see it. Your little bun in the oven will be watched over by his big brother. Nothing, but clouds in the way. Conor wouldn't miss it for anything.

Kristy, take good care of yourself. I anxiously await the news of a healthy and joyous delivery.

PS Happy Birthday, Aidan!
Nancy Beauchemin <nancybea33@yahoo.com>
Calgary, AB Canada - Monday, August 14, 2006 0:52 AM CDT

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I hope Aiden had a great Birthday
and congrats on the wonderful news
we just popped by to check on you guys.

Jodi and McKayla

Jodi Phelan <jodiphelan@hotmail.com>
Sherwood Park, AB Canada - Monday, August 7, 2006 11:43 AM CDT

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Happy Birthday Aidan! Hope you had a wonderful day!
Heather B <hbuchana@telus.net>
Calgary, - Saturday, August 5, 2006 9:43 AM CDT

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Hi Aidan! I hope you had a very happy birthday. You must be getting so big! I bet your mom and dad are so proud of you. Your baby brother or sister will be so lucky to have such a great big brother here with him/her and a very special big brother that will be with him/her in their heart. Take good care of your mommy.
Lisa Kingsbury <dldarakingsbury@msn.com>
Sandy, UT - Friday, August 4, 2006 3:07 PM CDT

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Aidan....

I hope you had a wonderful day!!!

Kristy and Darren, CONGRATS!! What wonderful news!



Marcia and the gang, Hug a Bug, Trinity Tweens, http://trinitytweens.tripod.com <marciat@symaptico.ca>
- Thursday, August 3, 2006 10:18 PM CDT

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Hey Aidan,

I hope you have the best Birthday ever.Wow 4 years old already.Thinking of you sweety.I know Conor is right by your side enjoying your smiles and laughter.Miss you all.
LOVE ALWAYS BRENDAMY LOVING DAD'S SITE <brurka@shaw.ca>
EDMONTON ,ALBERTA , - Thursday, August 3, 2006 0:43 AM CDT

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY AIDAN ! I haven't been able to be with you since last year but I still think of you and Conor daily.Everytime I see two brothers;I see you two,love you always and hope all is well.....POP
Don Pacholka......Dad,Pop....xxx,ooo <d_pacholka@hotmail.com>
Cypress [just visiting], Ca USA - Wednesday, August 2, 2006 11:15 PM CDT

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Mazel Tov!!
Lisa
- Monday, July 31, 2006 7:00 PM CDT

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Kristy,Darren,Aidain and precious Angel Conor,

Is it true are you going to be having another baby,Congradulations to you all.Aidan must be so happy and I know that Conor is bouncing in heaven with joy.I'm so happy for you.Keeping you in my thoughts and in my prayer's always.
LOVE ALWAYS BRENDAMY LOVING DAD'S SITE <brurka@shaw.ca>
EDMONTON ,ALBERTA , - Monday, July 31, 2006 1:26 AM CDT

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Well it looks like from some of the messages that the reason you were not feeling well is that you are having a baby! How exciting! Congratulations to all of you, I am so happy for you. I hope everything is going well and that you are feeling better. What a lucky baby to have Conor and Aidan for big brothers. This baby will always have a very special guardian angel. I know the baby will love hearing all about his/her big brother from you and will laugh at all the funny things he did and said. I think of you often and hope that you are all doing well and that Conor is visiting often. I can't imagine how you must miss him...............
Lisa Kingsbury <dldarakingsbury@msn.com>
Sandy, uT - Friday, July 28, 2006 1:19 PM CDT

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I haven't signed because I wasn't sure if you were still reading the site. But just because I haven't signed doesn't mean I've stopped checking in every day and stopped thinking about your family.

So often I feel my heart breaking for you, but today I feel it singing.
(Most likely a Bon Jovi tune...)

Congratulations and prayers for a safe, happy, healthy little one.
Alice
- Friday, July 28, 2006 1:13 PM CDT

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Congratulations to all of you!!
Heather B <hbuchana@telus.net>
Calgary, AB - Thursday, July 27, 2006 4:43 PM CDT

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Congrats on your expected arival! That is so exciting! I really miss reading about all you had to share about conor, really hoping to see an update soon. Until then, we will continue to think of you and your growing family. Congrats again
c nelson <cdnelson21@hotmail.com>
- Thursday, July 27, 2006 2:10 PM CDT

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Kristy, Darren, Aiden & Conor

Congratulations :-) ?
Ron
Victoria, BC Canada - Thursday, July 27, 2006 10:28 AM CDT

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Hi Buckie Boo one,Aidan had a great laugh when I called him Buckie Boo Two.You have a sweet little brother Conor and he's going to be a big brother in January,he's really excited just like you were when Mommy was pregnant with him.He talks alot about you,he misses you so much.He loves to play trains also.We played alot outside,went to the park ,I took him to his last soccer game it was so cute to see him in his uniform,but you know all the things we did ,you were watching us weren't you.I felt you crawl in bed with me ,I heard you call and the sweetest thing you did was send the Smiley face bouncy ball across the floor,I knew then for sure you were around.You know when to cheer me up ,it's so amazing.It was sad seeing your bike and your truck and lots of other toys we played together with,but there were lots of good memories.I read Storms Coming to Aidan and I could swear you were there behind me.You are everywhere in tne new house,it makes me so happy .My trip to Alberta to visit with my two Grandsons was Beautiful.Miss you Monkey.I'll Love You Forever.Nana
carol mercer <conaid@magma.ca>
- Wednesday, July 26, 2006 2:36 PM CDT

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We just thought we would pop by and check on you today,
and let you know we are thinking about you.

Jodi and McKayla

Jodi Phelan <jodiphelan@hotmail.com>
Sherwood Park, AB Canada - Wednesday, July 26, 2006 0:26 AM CDT

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Hey Kristy,
I'm not sure if you check this page anymore, so I haven't been signing as often as I used to. Just wanted to let you know I'm always thinking of you guys. We sing for Conor often, whenever we hear his special songs.
Enjoy your summer with your sweet little man!
Love,
Marcia and the gang, Hug a Bug, Trinity Tweens, http://fivegoofs.tripod.com <marciat@sympatico.ac>
- Sunday, July 23, 2006 9:12 PM CDT

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Hey Conor,

I lost a dear friend the other day to this awful disease, she was a co-worker. I wish so much that there would be a cure found Conor.....

This story might interest you and your Mom, it is about a nine year old boy who is doing something great.... his website is www.noahsride.ca

I know you will watch over him Conor and make sure he succeeds in this event for this terrible disease!

Always in my thoughts..
Heather B <hbuchana@telus.net>
Calgary, AB - Friday, July 21, 2006 10:03 AM CDT

---

hey conor missing u so much i wish u were here with me come and viset in my dreams sometime so i know that you are with me
lots of love
katie
p.s. hi aidan i miss you and kristy plz wright soon!


<33333333333333333333333
katie maygard <hottie_101_katie@hotmail.com>
wetaskiwin`, alberta canada - Monday, July 17, 2006 1:38 AM CDT

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Hey Conor, thinking of you tonight.... always in my thoughts..
Heather B <hbuchana@telus.net >
Calgary, Ab - Sunday, July 16, 2006 8:38 PM CDT

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We are thinking of you.

Jodi and McKayla

Jodi Phelan <jodiphelan@hotmail.com>
Sherwood Park, AB Canada - Tuesday, July 4, 2006 11:07 PM CDT

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LOVE ALWAYS BRENDAMY LOVING DAD'S SITE <brurka@shaw.ca~~THE PRAYER BEARS~~>
EDMONTON ,ALBERTA , - Saturday, July 1, 2006 12:53 AM CDT

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Thinking of you today, I hope all is well.
Pam <lakenormanheat@yahoo.com>
Denver, NC USA - Thursday, June 29, 2006 7:43 AM CDT

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Hey willy i miss u so much call me some time soon!
i love you so much i can't stop thinking about the last time we were together you keep on getting older adn looking like conor it is a big change a nice change!
well i got 2 go 2 sleep no school 2morrow hopfully guna tlk 2 u soon love you lots!
katie maygard!
katie <hottie_101_katie@hotmail.com>
wetaskiwin, alberta canada - Wednesday, June 28, 2006 3:01 AM CDT

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One of the guestbook comments said that you are not feeling well, Kristi. I am sorry to hear that I hope you get feeling better soon. That is so awesome that your friend Kayla shaved her head for cancer and raised so much money. Hopefully one day soon they will find a cure for cancer so no more families will have to go through what you have. I hope you do another update, I would love to know what your family has been up to. Hope that Conor has been visiting a lot. Always in my thoughts.
Lisa Kingsbury <dldarakingsbury@msn.com>
Sandy, UT - Thursday, June 22, 2006 11:20 AM CDT

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Kristy and Darren,
I never met you, and I wasn't introduced to Conor's story until after he passed on. He has touched my heart, and always will. Because of Conor, I was introduced to the Snuggle Puppy song, which is now one of my favorites that I will sing to my child when he/she is born (and before), every time remembering the incredibly bright light of a boy named Conor, whose heart and memory is with us still.
Love and peace,
Becca Parra <beccaparra@hotmail.com>
madison, wi usa - Monday, June 19, 2006 2:32 PM CDT

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I AM SO GLAD I SHAVED MY HEAD FOR CANCER
we raised $131, 000 only in wetaskwin ab and the government times that buy 8 so wedid really good. i raised $765.00. after that i went on the Zipper and the salt and pepper shakkers and the huricane at pioneer Days. we had a great time adn we also had a lot of timeleft over. I was the best head shave ever. hope to see ya guys soon. happy fathers day Darren. Hope u get better soon Kristy c ya guys soon. bibi

kayla <smiley_chick_babe@hotmail.com>
wetaskiwin, ab canada - Saturday, June 17, 2006 7:50 PM CDT

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Have a Happy Father's Day, Darren. I hope memories of Conor bring a smile. You have raised two awesome boys. I hope you are enjoying your new home.
Lisa Kingsbury <dldarakingsbury@Msn.com>
SAndy, UT - Saturday, June 17, 2006 7:18 PM CDT

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hi kristy congrats. i cant wait till sturaday june 17, 2006. I am not going to have no more hair.
That is going to be a big change but ya. Hi willy hope to see ya really soon. lOve ya all.
maybe i can come over on sunday becuase my parents are going to the city
well hope to see ya soon

kayla Maygard <smiley_chick_babe@homail.com>
Wetaskiwin, ab canada - Tuesday, June 13, 2006 10:19 PM CDT

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Thinking of you all today!
Tracy Eckhardt (HugABug)and Christopher <teckhardt@sympatico.ca>
Kitchener, ON Canada - Monday, June 12, 2006 2:44 PM CDT

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You are in my thoughts, as is Conor. I was playing trains today with my son and thoughts of Conor always come to me when we are playing with Thomas. It's cool that wooden trains can bring so much joy. Makes me stop and think about how much I take for granted and to remember to stop and enjoy the little joys in life. Hoping that you are settled in your new home and that all is going well. Would love to hear how you are doing and what Aidan is up to. Thinking of you always.
Lisa Kingsbury <dldarakingsbury@msn.com>
Sandy, UT - Thursday, June 8, 2006 7:02 PM CDT

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Conor is still in our thoughts, as are you. Wishing you an extra smile with each day,

Terry, Mary, Nicholas and Julianna Banana <tjosephson@shaw.ca>
Winnipeg, Canada - Wednesday, June 7, 2006 2:49 PM CDT

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Thinking of you today. I hope things are going well.
Pam <lakenormanheat@yahoo.com>
Denver, NC USA - Wednesday, June 7, 2006 10:00 AM CDT

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aidan i miss u come & viset me soon <3 ya
katie maygard <hottie_101_katie@hotmail.com>
- Tuesday, June 6, 2006 8:40 PM CDT

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aidan i miss u come & viset me soon ¢¾ ya
katie maygard <hottie_101_katie@hotmail.com>
- Tuesday, June 6, 2006 8:40 PM CDT

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Kristy,
I was just thinking about you and thought I would check in. I figure you are up to your neck in the move. I hope it all goes well..there's something about a new house. I wish you Darren and Aiden all the best in your new home. I know you will make it lovely.
Talk to you soon
Love Kathy
Kathy
St. John's, Nl Canada - Friday, June 2, 2006 5:46 AM CDT

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Hey little Man,Just popped in to say hello.I miss you,I'll Love You Forever.Nana
carol mercer <conaid@magma.ca>
- Thursday, June 1, 2006 11:38 AM CDT

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Thinking of you as always. I miss your memories. Hope all is well.
Lisa Kingsbury <dldarakingsbury@msn.com>
Sandy, UT - Wednesday, May 31, 2006 5:44 PM CDT

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Thinking of you tonight .... sounds like you moved to a new home! All the best ....
Heather <hbuchana@telus.net>
Calgary, AB - Tuesday, May 23, 2006 11:06 PM CDT

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I wish you the best in your new home. Love you all!....
Don Pacholka......Dad,Pop....xxx,ooo <d_pacholka@hotmail.com>
Cypress [just visiting], Ca USA - Saturday, May 20, 2006 10:39 PM CDT

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Sounds like you are in your new home. I hope you will all be happy there. Moving is always stressful. Just wanted you to know that I am always thinking of you.
Lisa Kingsbury <dldarakingsbury@msn.com>
Sandy, UT - Thursday, May 18, 2006 11:02 AM CDT

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My Wonderful Amazing Grandson,You managed to do it again,what a surprise it was.Thank you so much.Your garden is looking so nice this year,I'm sure you are helping there also.Now I know you are always with me,you made my day baby.I'll Love You Forever.Nana
carol mercer <conaid@magma.ca>
- Tuesday, May 16, 2006 12:47 AM CDT

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I LOVE your new home!! I know you all will be very happy there! It will be nice to have you a walk away and no long distance phone calls!( no more ring twice...lol)
I can feel Conor in your new home too. He is happy that you are all happy. I can see him sliding all over them hardwood floors...and maybe playing with a train or two on THEM!!
Gina
Life is better in Beaumont!!, - Tuesday, May 16, 2006 9:40 AM CDT

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LETTING YOU KNOW THAT YOUR THOUGHT OF ON MOTHER'S DAY.KEEPING YOU IN MY THOUGHTS AND IN MY PRAYER'S ALWAYS.
LOVE ALWAYS BRENDAMY LOVING DAD'S SITE <brurka@shaw.ca~~THE PRAYER BEARS~~>
EDMONTON ,ALBERTA, - Sunday, May 14, 2006 2:14 PM CDT

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happy mothers day kristy and gina
hope u had a good nite !!!
love you all
u rock aidan i love u baby
love katie maygard
katie <mini_me155@hotmail.com>
- Sunday, May 14, 2006 3:53 AM CDT

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Mother's day is coming... and I wanted to send you a sign.
Something you can tell others.. "Is from an angel of mine"
So I searched the Heavens high and low for that perfect thing
And low and behold I found it...and a smile I hope it will bring.

So when you look to the Heavens... and see the yellow stars in the sky
Just think of me.. your angel.. in the Heavens way up high
And just imagine those stars... are dandelions up above.........
Yes! Dandelions are also in Heaven.. .which you know much I love

So on this Mother's day... when you awake and feel blue.....
You will notice those yellow stars... are no longer in view...
So just look to the meadows and the dandelions you see...
Are the ones I've tossed down this Mother's Day from me!

And when you find a dandelion that.....turned from yellow to white...
You're supposed to make a wish.. and then blow with all your might...
For you will be blowing kisses.....to me in Heaven above...
And I will be catching them and blowing them back... sent with all my love...

Please know that I am with you... on this Mother's Day......
And also in the days ahead.... God and I will never stray...
We will be with you in the morning.... when you wake and see the sun...
We will be with you when you say your prayers.... when the day is done...

For God and I will never be.... very far from your side...
For I can now be everywhere and God will be your guide
So... remember when you see dandelions... it's your guarantee...
that I am always' close to you...
For dandelions are free to roam... now just like me.

I will always' be with you Mom...
Happy Mother's Day
Love, Your in Heaven

LOVE ALWAYS BRENDAMY LOVING DAD'S SITE <brurka@shaw.ca~~THE PRAYER BEARS~~>
EDMONTON ,ALBERTA, - Sunday, May 14, 2006 2:09 AM CDT

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My thoughts are with you and I wish you a Happy Mother's Day, Kristy. I hope it is a day filled with love and wonderful memories for you. It must be a very tough day, also. But, a day to be reminded of the wonderful gift of being a mother. And you are such a wonderful mother to your 2 boys. You gave Conor such a happy, love filled life. And, you are giving the same to Aidan. I gather from some of the guest book entries that you are moving. I hope that the move goes well and that you are happy in your new home. Conor is right there with you, in all of your hearts. Celebrate being a Mother and be proud of yourself for the way you have raised your boys. I miss hearing from you, I hope all is well.
Lisa Kingsbury <dldarakingsbury@msn.com>
sandy, UT - Friday, May 12, 2006 5:33 PM CDT

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A Mother's Day Wish From Heaven
By Jody Seilheimer



Dear Mr. Hallmark,

I am writing to you from heaven, and though it must appear
A rather strange idea, I see everything from here.
I just popped in to visit, your stores to find a card
A card of love for my mother, as this day for her is hard.

There must be some mistake I thought, every card you could imagine
Except I could not find a card, from a child who lives in heaven.
She is still a mother too, no matter where I reside
I had to leave, she understands, but oh the tears she’s cried.

I thought that if I wrote you, that you would come to know
That though I live in heaven now, I still love my mother so.
She talks with me, and dreams with me; we still share laughter too,
Memories our way of speaking now, would you see what you could do?

My mother carries me in her heart, her tears she hides from sight.
She writes poems to honor me, sometimes far into the night
She plants flowers in my garden, there my living memory dwells
She writes to other grieving parents, trying to ease their pain as well.

So you see Mr. Hallmark, though I no longer live on earth
I must find a way, to remind her of her wondrous worth
She needs to be honored, and remembered too
Just as the children of earth will do.

Thank you Mr. Hallmark, I know you’ll do your best
I have done all I can do; to you I’ll leave the rest.
Find a way to tell her, how much she means to me
Until I can do it for myself, when she joins me in eternity.


Pam <lakenormanheat@yahoo.com>
Denver, NC USA - Wednesday, May 10, 2006 9:30 AM CDT

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Thinking of you all today!


Carolyn <abknsmom@telus.net>
GP, - Monday, May 8, 2006 7:41 PM CDT

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We were recently gifted with a kids book and CD called Philadelphia Chickens by Sandra Boyton. I popped the CD in the car thoughtlessly and started skipping around tracks. I stopped on track 8 or 9 and on came "Chocolate chip cookies so far away". I remembered hearing that song and the story of Conor and how he would sing that song in a high pitched voice in Conor's site a long time ago.

I thought of your little boy's precious life, of all the stories that you have posted about him and your forever love for him. Then I had a good cry, greiving the loss of a little boy I never met.

I debated sharing this, on the dumb account of feeling like I would upset you. Then I remembered what a friend of mine who lost a child a long time ago told me...you never "get over" the loss of a child or forget that pain for a second and the worst fear a grieving mom has is that her child will not be remembered or mentioned. I hope she was right.

So I wanted to let you know I remembered your Conor "Silly Billy" today.

(((hugs)))
Rita
Rita B <thegr8bolli@yahoo.com>
Woodbridge, Va USA - Monday, May 8, 2006 2:55 PM CDT

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hey willy
its kd lol rosa i don't no y u call me that but it is so cute
baby
lol
well yea i will come and see you befor you move b/c i am going 2 be so sad when you move o well u will be closer 2 brooklynn and baby ryan o and i can come and see you and you PINK room thank you aidan pink is a good colour for your room and only real guys where pink so yea you must be my real baby so yea bye talk 2 you guys soon maybe you could come 2 my baseball game on tuesday i will call you but i need 2 go b/c my room is as messy as your toy room AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! lol well you bye willy i love you
katie maygard aka rosa
katie <mini_me155@hotmail.com>
wetaskiwin, alberta canada - Sunday, May 7, 2006 4:32 PM CDT

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Thinking of you today
Pam <lakenormanheat@yahoo.com>
Denver, NC usa - Tuesday, May 2, 2006 7:31 AM CDT

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Deep in their roots, all flowers keep the light.
--Theodore Roethke

Continuing to think of you and your precious family.
Alice
- Monday, May 1, 2006 2:41 PM CDT

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I LOVE YOU GUYS
Im gonna miss you tons when you move
Cassie <lulu_hawai@hotmail.com>
wetaskiwin, alb canada - Wednesday, April 26, 2006 10:30 PM CDT

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Hi Buckie Boo,I miss you .I'll Love You Forever.Nana
nana <conaid@magma.ca>
- Wednesday, April 26, 2006 11:25 AM CDT

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Hope all is well there. I have not been able to access your site from my regular computer. There is some sort of "active x" pop up that is coming up on quite a few sites that have music loaded. I hope you had a happy Easter. Thinking of you always.
Lisa Kingsbury <dldarakingsbury@msn.com>
Sandy, UT - Tuesday, April 25, 2006 4:00 PM CDT

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Thinking of you guys, love to you :)
Angela, Ainsley and Robbie
Hawick, Scotland - Tuesday, April 25, 2006 4:00 PM CDT

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Just wanted to stop in and say, I love you all. Jen is hoping to drop by and see you on her way to Fort McMurray... Hope she gets the chance to give you a big hug for me. Miss you lots, thinking of you always.
Love always, Nancy xoxoxoxo
St. John's, NL Canada - Tuesday, April 25, 2006 4:33 AM CDT

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hi kristy
hope the garadge sale makes a lot of proceeds
c ya later
bibi
kayla <smiley_chick_babe@hotmail.com>
wetakiwin, ab canada - Friday, April 21, 2006 1:59 PM CDT

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hey kristy
plz wright soon
thnx luv u all
love katie aka rosa or bady lolz
katie <mini_me155@hotmail.com>
- Tuesday, April 18, 2006 0:17 AM CDT

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HAVE A HOPPY EASTER WEEKEND GUYS
Gina <gparnell@telus.net>
- Monday, April 17, 2006 10:48 AM CDT

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Kristy,

It's been a while since I've written in here. I still visit your site often though. I'm now the TBI gal at work. Not a very happy job for me as you can imagine. Too many young people on their last chance at cure.

I took my family to the Calgary Zoo today. They had an Eggstravaganza Event today for the Easter weekend. They had a train go through the crowds. I thought of Conor, like I always do when I hear a train.

Kristy, I wish you and your family a Happy Easter. It's quite a bittersweet weekend isn't it? Take care of yourself. I hope the Easter bunny will be very generous this year.
Nancy Beauchemin <nancybea33@yahoo.com>
Calgary, AB Canada - Friday, April 14, 2006 9:44 PM CDT

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Hoppy Easter Everyone. Hope the Easter Bunny is good to Aidan.
Heather <hbuchana@telus.net>
Calgary, - Thursday, April 13, 2006 5:32 PM CDT

---

I hope all is well there and that you are able to be out enjoying the spring weather. I hope you have a Happy Easter. I bet Conor loved Easter. Hope to hear from you soon, I would love to hear another Conor memory.
Lisa Kingsbury <dldarakingsbury@msn.com>
Sandy, UT - Thursday, April 13, 2006 11:39 AM CDT

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hey
conor
i miss u
i love you
have a happy easter up there in heaven
say hi! so every one for me up there
thnx silly billy
ur stinky butt
i love you aidan
i will come and viset soon
love katie
p.s. EVERYONE HAVE A HAPPY EASTER!!!!!
I LOVE YOU AIDAN AND CONOR
katie maygard and family <mini_me155@hotmail.com>
- Thursday, April 13, 2006 11:38 AM CDT

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Hi Everyone!I hope all is well.Easter is coming ;it's a good time "To Be Happy";kids sure are 'birds sure are and Conor is enjoying it all to be sure as always.Love you forever. POP.XXX,OOO
Don Pacholka ,Pop <d_pacholka@hotmail.com>
St .John's, NL CANADA - Wednesday, April 12, 2006 4:50 PM CDT

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It is a beautiful spring day here in Alabama. I am thinking of you! Kiss Aidan for me!!
love to all
Bonnie



Bonnie Howard Oct99 mom
Madison, Al USA - Tuesday, April 11, 2006 12:54 AM CDT

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Kristy,Thank you for being the most wonderful mom to both your boys.Olivia is beautiful and 26 days old today, and I think of you often. Admiration and love, Lisa
Lisa Hopkins <instantkarma1232002@yahoo.ca>
Ottawa, ON - Tuesday, April 11, 2006 10:35 AM CDT

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Hey conor! Your Mom sure knows how to make a birthday party special, doesn't she! Thanks for everything Kristy and Aidan. I am wearing my socks today...
Gina <gparnell@telus.net>
Beaumont, - Monday, April 10, 2006 10:07 AM CDT

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Just wanted to stop by and let you know I'm thinking about you.
Pam <lakenormanheat@yahoo.com>
Denver, NC usa - Friday, April 7, 2006 8:06 AM CDT

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hey kristy
please wright soon
waiting to see what you have to say...
love you all love kaite
katie <mini_me155@hotmail.com>
- Wednesday, April 5, 2006 11:24 AM CDT

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Hope all is well there and that spring is arriving! I love spring and the pretty flowers everywhere. I got a catalog the other day for kids birthday party decorations. There was Thomas stuff and you could order a banner with your child's name and guess who's name was on the banner? Conor of course!!!!!!! Reminders of him everywhere. I hope you have seen more signs of him. I look forward to "hearing" from you soon.
Lisa Kingsbury <dldarakingsbury@msn.com>
Sandy, UT - Monday, April 3, 2006 7:29 PM CDT

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Just wanted to let you know I'm always thinking about you....
Marcia and the gang, HugABug, Trinity Tweens http://fivegoofs.tripod.com <marciat@sympatico.ca>
- Sunday, April 2, 2006 10:52 PM CDT

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Hey Conor, I was at Toys R Us today with my two little ones, Emma 3.5 and Liam 19 months and we went straight to the Thomas trains.. they had a table set up that they could play with the trains and the tracks. As I looked at Liam I thought of you and how much you loved Thomas ........he really likes Thomas too... Emma not as much .. she likes Dora!!!

Thinking of you as always.
Heather <hbuchana@telus.net>
Calgary, - Friday, March 31, 2006 7:02 PM CST

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hey kristy its katie i think you should wright a book your words are very inspiring thank-you for keeping the site going can't wait till you wright again
love you lots aidan
i miss you conor
love katie
katie maygard <mini_me155@hotmail.com>
- Thursday, March 30, 2006 7:00 PM CST

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Stopping by to say hello. These journal entries speak for so many who do not have your gift of words or the courage to share their thoughts so bravely. I didn't spend much time with Conor 1:1, though I remember watching him on the go from behind my desk. So, it was a special gift for me the day that we played with his tiny, tiny Thomas trains in the Dayward, I treasure that memory. Thank you for your words. I will always remember...

Wendy
wendy howard
edmonton, ab canada - Monday, March 27, 2006 9:38 PM CST

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Hi Little man ,Just dropping by to let you know I miss you very much .You are always in my thoughts,where ever I go or whatever I do you are constantly beside me.Very soon now I will be able to start gardening again,I'm planning on putting in more rose bushes for you,watching them bloom is my favorite part,I believe its a gift from you.Your Rose Garden and of course I will plant Sunflowers,will you keep the pesky squirrels away.I'll love You Forever.Nana
carol mercer <conaid@magma.ca>
- Monday, March 27, 2006 11:56 AM CST

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Hi
Just stoped by to take a look at Conor. Nathan says "I remember my friend". Nathan has not seen the picture of Aidan in the tub with Conor. "He just jumped in with his clothes on"? "Without asking his mom"?!
Thinking of you all and hope we can get together soon!
Love Carolyn Mom to Beautiful Britni
Carolyn <abknsomo@telus.net>
GP, - Saturday, March 25, 2006 4:47 PM CST

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Hey Kristy,
how are you guys doing? I hope everything is well.I just have been thinking about you guys lately .I love you and miss you
Michelle Rousso <michellecats2003@yahoo.com>
Banning, CA U.S.A. - Friday, March 24, 2006 3:01 PM CST

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Had to come see that beautiful smile and hear his cute voice. How precious that you have that. I love hearing my boys voices when they were little. I wish I had journaled more as my kids were growing up, I always thought there were certain things I would always remember and I find them fading. I think it is wonderful that you have journaled your memories so that they will always be fresh and that Aidan will have them as he grows. The weather is beautiful here, hope it's the same there. Take care. My thoughts are with you.
Lisa Kingsbury <dldarakingsbury@msn.com>
Sandy, UT - Thursday, March 23, 2006 10:48 AM CST

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Hey Kristy. I read the journal entry again and it made me think of this reflex that me and my aunt have.. when you hear a gag, do your hands automatically cup and shoot out in front of you.. How much puke could you actually catch in them anyway? Not much.. I know from experience.. you just end up with pukey hands. Hah. Aidan is so sweet. You have to continue to bite him for me..or at least squeeze him very hard :0) Love you like cake :0)
Cassandra Cassandra's Site <cmraven@msn.com>
Albuquerque, NM - Wednesday, March 22, 2006 11:17 PM CST

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We just dropped by to let you know we are thinking of you.

Jodi and McKayla
Jodi Phelan <jodiphelan@hotmail.com>
Sherwood Park, AB Canada - Wednesday, March 22, 2006 11:01 AM CST

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Spring is here! Hoping that the weather is nice up there and you are able to enjoy the outdoors. I have never been to Canada, but hope to get there some day. I always look forward to your updates and hope one is coming soon.......no pressure. Hope all is well there and that you have had more signs from Conor.
Lisa Kingsbury <dldarakingsbury@msn.com>
Sandy, UT - Monday, March 20, 2006 1:33 PM CST

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happy st.patrics day aidan hope 2 see u soon love katie
katie <mini_me155@hotmail.com>
- Friday, March 17, 2006 11:51 PM CST

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Happy St. Patty's Day!! You Guys!!
Gina
Beaumont, - Friday, March 17, 2006 11:35 AM CST

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hey u guys
so what is new i miss u conor, aidan it feels like 4ever since i saw u last i miss u so much hope 2 see u this weekend sometime
love u all lots
love katie
p.s. kristy please wright soon
katie <mini_me155@hotmail.com>
- Thursday, March 16, 2006 10:59 PM CST

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Hi baby ,spring is on the way finally,the birds are chirping away outside and they always make me smile and think about all the times we watched the birds from your window.I miss you little man.I'll Love You Forever.Nana
carol mercer <conaid@magma.ca>
- Wednesday, March 15, 2006 2:01 PM CST

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Just stopping by to let you know that you are in my thoughts and in my prayer's always.
Sorry it's been awhile since I have been here.Doing alot of running around with the kids and it's been snowing here all week but finally it's starting to melt.I just want to see the sun again.Have a good day and I will be back again really soon.

HAPPY ST.PATRICKS DAY



LOVE ALWAYS BRENDAMY LOVING DAD'S SITE <brurka@shaw.ca>
EDMONTON,ALBERTA/CANADA, - Tuesday, March 14, 2006 1:15 PM CST

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hey kristy plz wright soon love you all love katie
katie <mini_me155@hotmail.com>
- Monday, March 13, 2006 6:26 PM CST

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Hi Kristy,
Well I dont sign nearly as often or visit quite as much as I used to but I need to tell you when I do it brings back so many memories of when I was training and ran for Conor 2 years ago for Team in Training. And when Meghan and I were at the hospital getting her leg looked at and I set something on the bed and she threw it off and said "OFF THE BED" we laughed so hard and that nurse just thought we were nuts. I think of you guys so often. I know it doesnt really help your pain to know how much Conor and you changed my way of thinking. Your son is amazing. You are an amazing mother and thank you again for sharing your intimate details and most loved posession with us.
Liz <e.kihlstrom@comcast.net>
Kirkland, Wa USA - Sunday, March 12, 2006 8:33 AM CST

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Hope your week was filled with more Conor memories and new memories with Aidan. I hope you don't mind, but I think you would really enjoy this site www.tomzuba.com. He is a wonderful man who has experienced the loss of his wife, a daughter and a son. His writing reminds me of yours, you are both very insightful and describe events in a beautiful way. Hope you have a fun weekend. Thinking of you.
Lisa Kingsbury <dldarakingsbury@msn.com>
Sandy, ut - Friday, March 10, 2006 5:39 PM CST

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Hey conor you were great and i really enjoy being with you. You are always there and i am sorry for your loss wish you the best!
Kayla <smiley_chick_babe@hotmail.com>
Wetaskiwin, Alberta Canada - Monday, March 6, 2006 7:51 PM CST

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hI kristy
we miss aidan to and hope that he really gets better and is not sick no more
hope we see u guys soon and bi
oh ya i changed my e-mail to what is on the botton or ya w.e. bi

kayla <smiley_chick_babe@hotmail.com>
wetaskiwin, ab Canada - Monday, March 6, 2006 4:50 PM CST

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Have a great weekend. Hope Conor "visits" you. Looking forward to hearing more stories of him and Aidan. Thinking of you.
Lisa Kingsbury <dldarakingsbury@msn.com>
Sandy, UT - Friday, March 3, 2006 5:12 PM CST

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Another beautiful entry! Keep showing signs to your family Conor.... do u like all the snow we are getting! Winter has finally arrived eh...

You are an amazing family. All of you.

Heather <hbuchana@telus.net>
Calgary, - Tuesday, February 28, 2006 5:45 PM CST

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Another beautiful memory that you so generously share with us. Another memory that you have that you descibe so well that I feel that I am there. My son loves tea parties! He and Conor are so much alike. I love what Aidan did for you. What a sweet boy. Hope you all have a wonderful week with more "signs" from Conor that he is there with you. Love and peace.
Lisa Kingsbury <dldarakingsbury@msn.com>
Sandy, UT - Monday, February 27, 2006 1:52 PM CST

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Hey Buckie,I was at my friends last night,her grandson Justin was there he will be seven in May,I saw you in him last night as he was sitting there playing games,Bob the Builder and Buzz LightyearI thought of all the times you and play games on the computer.AS i sat and watched I would say great Justin, you are such a smart little boy,he would smile that little secret smiles that little boys have.And then he came over and sat on my lap,its such a nice feeling to have a boy that age still want to reach out .Did you whisper in his ear"give my Nana a Hug"I'd like to think so.I miss you.I'll Love You Forever.Nana
carol mercer <conaid@magma.ca>
- Monday, February 27, 2006 1:05 PM CST

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Just stopping in to say hello. I love the wonderful stories!
Tracy Eckhardt (HAB)and Christopher <teckhardt@sympatico.ca>
Kitchener, ON Canada - Monday, February 27, 2006 1:18 AM CST

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Just checking in. I visit this site and think of your family often.
Crystal <canadiansweety2003@hotmail.com>
Red Deer, Canada - Saturday, February 25, 2006 11:52 PM CST

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Conor Michael Ford,you are and always will be one amazing little boy.I never doubted for one second that you weren't around your mommy ,daddy or Aidan.They all loved you so much and that bond will never be broken.I have never seen in my life so much love in one room as I had seen with you.Anyone who came in cotact with Buckie Boo couldn't help but fall in love with him,een your puke like mommy said.I can laugh now at all the times you puked or had diarreah,it wasn't funny then but now I realise that no matter what you did it didn't matter,it din't gross me out,I loved you and remembering all of that is just another wonderful memory of you.And as for teddy,remember the night you and I were playing hospital,well we put teddy through some crazy things ,he had more bandages on him and tape,we gave him needles and medicine,I'm laughing here now at the memory,sitting on the floor with you and your teddy.I can't count how many times I put him in the washer along with your Thomas comforter and cushions because you puked on them and the time you puked in your new Bob the Builder sneakers ,I had to put them through the washer 3 times to get them clean.Good memories baby.Yes you were loved no matter what.I miss you.I'll Love You Forever.Nana
carol mercer <conaid@magma.ca>
- Friday, February 24, 2006 2:27 PM CST

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When my Connor was a baby I was a "no sweets" kind of mom. He thought apples were treats and that was great in my mind. Then he got sick and all of my rules were gone. Noah and Jenna will likely spend their easter mornings covered in chocolate! Thanks for sharing you great stories!
Rachel
- Saturday, February 18, 2006 3:48 PM CST

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hey so i might come over on saturday or sunday i don't know
aidan we should go to the curious george movie sometime it seems funnie well i have to go now the bell is going to ring soon
love you aidan
love katie
katie <mini_me155@hotmail.com>
wetaskiwin, alberta canada - Friday, February 17, 2006 2:10 PM CST

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I Love hearing new memories of Conor...Sounds like your family had a great valentines Day!!! Give Aidan a valentines kiss for me!!P.S. I vaguely remember phoning you...lets say the 1st "The reserve" was great, #2 not so much!! :) Glenda
Glenda <glendaroche@ns.sympatico.ca>
- Thursday, February 16, 2006 2:52 PM CST

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kristy i can after school yesterday but no one was home i might be able to come over tonight i don't know yet i still have to give you your birthday prestent and i have not seen you in forever aidan thank you for the valentine it is hanging in my locker elmo love you to aidan well i have to go because the bell is going to ring and i need to go to class miss you aidan and conor i love you
love katie
katie maygard <mini_me155@hotmail.com>
wetaskiwin, alberta canada - Thursday, February 16, 2006 2:14 PM CST

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What an awesome memory. Thanks for sharing it. Hope Aidan got over his tummy ache. Chocolate before breakfast? I thought it was breakfast! Have a good week.
Lisa Kingsbury <dldarakingsbury@msn.com>
Sandy, UT - Wednesday, February 15, 2006 11:10 AM CST

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On June 6th Cassandra will be participating in the

100 Mile Bike Ride in memory of

Conor and Justin , and so many more...


Please visit CASSANDRA‘S TEAM IN TRAINING PAGE

Kristy <kristydarren@yahoo.ca>
- Wednesday, February 15, 2006 1:00 AM CST

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hey aidan i miss you i have not seen you in like forever
wow so long i miss you hope to see you soon like maybe tommorow nite because i have to babysit tonite sorry i will be thinking of you though miss you all
love katie
p.s. HAPPY VALENTINES DAY
katie maygard <mini_me155@hotmail.com>
wetaskiwin, alberta canada - Tuesday, February 14, 2006 2:11 PM CST

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hey aidan i miss you i have not seen you in like forever
wow so long i miss you hope to see you soon like maybe tommorow nite because i have to babysit tonite sorry i will be thinking of you though miss you all
love katie
p.s. HAPPY VALENTINES DAY
katie maygard <mini_me155@hotmail.com>
wetaskiwin, alberta canada - Tuesday, February 14, 2006 2:11 PM CST

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Happy Heart Day Fords!!
Always thinking of you all, bigs hugs and kisses for you Conor and Aidan
XOXOXOX
Gina
Beaumont, - Tuesday, February 14, 2006 1:49 PM CST

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THINKING OF YOU ALWAYS.

LOVE ALWAYS BRENDA MY LOVING DAD'S SITE <brurka@shaw.ca>
EDMONTON,ALBERTA/CANADA, - Tuesday, February 14, 2006 0:40 AM CST

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Sorry, it's been a while since I've signed. I have read your last journal entry quite a few times. You really do have a special way of describing your feelings that is very therapeutic. It's like I can feel what you are saying. The way you describe feeling like you left something behind at your Reiki class gives me the chills. Negative energy can consume us. That you are finding a way to let go of it, even piece by piece is amazing. Conor was and is still a very bright light. His light helped many people find their way through this sometimes very dark place. His light continues to shine and to lead people through the darkness. His connection with you, his dad, and Aiden is everlasting. Your memories will fill Aidan with Conor and his amazing spirit. His dream is amazing, I can't imagine how wonderful you must have felt hearing it. I had heard of Reiki before, but wasn't sure what it was about, it sounds wonderful. I hope you continue to get healing from it. I, too, feel that there is a reason for everything, I know there was a reason that I was led to Conor's site. His light will forever shine within me, I thank you for sharing it. Peace and love to you. Happy Valentine's Day, too.
Lisa Kingsbury <dldarakingsbury@msn.com>
Sandy, UT - Monday, February 13, 2006 4:15 PM CST

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How preicious that you have you son's voice! Thank you for sharing!
Hugs and oodles of prayers!
Love



Mary, Mike Slade and the kids <mar-e@rogers.com>
Guelph, Ontario, Canada - Sunday, February 12, 2006 12:23 AM CST

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Even though I have never met you or your beautiful son, I can feel his presence whenever I come to this site. I have read your site, and have never signed your guestbook, not because I never wanted too, just because I never have known what to say. Your son touched MANY hearts, and I have held him in mine all this time. Something about his spirit, that stays with me. You're a awesome mom, and your writings inspire me in taking care of my own son. I'm encouraged by you, because you stay true to your feelings, and aren't ashamed to write them for all to read. Your son learned alot from you, and I admire the both of you. My thoughts are with you and your precious angel who is watching over you, and your earthly angel, who is most definately connected to his brother. {{HUGS}}

~MG & Zachary

<mgt66@tampabay.rr.com>
Spring Hill, Florida USA - Friday, February 10, 2006 2:43 PM CST

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Wanted to drop you a note to let you know that I am thinking of Connor and your family... I know this time of year is hard and I am sorry for the your loss of a beautiful life. I stop by from time to time so I can see pictures of your wonderful son.. God bless
Elizabeth <e_spehr_99@yahoo.com>
Washington , DC USA - Friday, February 10, 2006 9:54 AM CST

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Hi Kristy
happy b-day
i realy love the pic in the guest book they are nice and we might come over tonite(feb 9)
me and allison got hair cuts.
allisons is incribley shorter
and mine is a little but i am still going to shave it off. Today me and allison are going to moon walkers in reb deer and it is gonna be awsome. but katie is not going. she was going to babysit but plans changed. well we might see u guys tonite
bye
kayla <kaylamaygard@msn.com>
wetaskiwin, ab canada - Thursday, February 9, 2006 9:55 AM CST

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You do such an amazing job at keeping Conor's memory alive,your entries are so vivid I feel like I knew him.I bet Aiden does remember and always will.

Jodi and McKayla

Jodi Phelan <jodiphelan@hotmail.com>
Sherwood Park, AB Canada - Thursday, February 9, 2006 1:46 AM CST

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Hey Kristy and Darren,

I hope the memories that came with this past week brought you more smiles than tears.

Thinking of you all,
Terry, Julianna Banana's dad <tjosephson@shaw.ca>
Winnipeg, Canada - Wednesday, February 8, 2006 11:56 PM CST

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Somehow I found my way to your site. I took one look at Conor and found myself reading your entire journal history. His spirit and energy just came tumbling through the page. God bless and may you continue to find the strength needed.
www.caringbridge.com/ny/brendan
Saoirse Miranda <preyforsurf9@yahoo.com>
Wantagh, NY USA - Wednesday, February 8, 2006 8:52 PM CST

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Hey Conor, we sent some balloons to you---hope you got them. We included a yellow one for Colby so if you see him tell him we will be sending some more for his birthday. You guys are probably hanging out at the Thomas The Train table. I know how much you both loved them.
Love and miss you
Laura (Colby's mommy) <colcam@atlanticbb.net>
SUPER BOWL CHAMPS, PA STEELER COUNTRY - Tuesday, February 7, 2006 9:02 PM CST

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Hope you had a wonderful Birthday Kristy filled with precious Memories of Conor and new ones with Aidian.Thinking of you always.
LOVE ALWAYS BRENDA MY LOVING DAD'S SITE <brurka@shaw.ca>
EDMONTON,ALBERTA CANADA, - Tuesday, February 7, 2006 3:35 AM CST

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Dear Kristy,
What an inspiring entry. It is true that our physical bodies may not last, but our energy can not be destroyed. Conor does live on. Thinking of you at this time around Conor's anniversary, and I also see that you've had a birthday, so birthday greetings to you as well. And just so you know....even watching the Super Bowl, after the 1/2 time show, I am hearing Bon Jovi's "It's My Life" in the background and the thought of a little boy from Canada, whom I've never met, wandered through my mind yet again. Amazing.
Lisa Post <LMPOST@cox.net>
South Windsor, CT USA - Monday, February 6, 2006 8:39 PM CST

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY KRISTY
i might come over tonite me and my sisters have some prestents for you
aidan i love you
conor i miss you i could not stop thinking of you forever no matter where her at school is hard when i am doin nothin i just think and i see you in my mind well i have to go to class now love you lots baby i miss you so much
love katie
p.s. i love then new pictures in the guest book they are awsome miss you conor
katie maygard <mini_me155@hotmail.com>
wetaskiwin, alberta canada - Monday, February 6, 2006 2:09 PM CST

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Belated birthday wishes Kristy. Thinking of you guys always, love and hugs.
Angela, Ainsley and Robbie <annashi@f2s.com>
Hawick, Scotland - Monday, February 6, 2006 9:28 AM CST

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Happy Birthday Kristy!I hope you liked my liked my singing message or at least made you laugh.Love you.xxx,ooo...Dad
Don Pacholka <d_pacholka@hotmail.com>
St.John's, NL CANADA - Sunday, February 5, 2006 1:35 PM CST

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Happy Birthday Kristy!
Heather <hbuchana@telus.net>
Calgary, - Sunday, February 5, 2006 12:17 AM CST

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY KRISTY!
See you later :o)
One of my favorit memories of Conor was when he was serving up Aidan's first birthday cake to all the guests with his hands, he was such a good little host...in his underwear...

Gina
Beaumont, - Sunday, February 5, 2006 10:43 AM CST

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I found my way to Conor's site today and to get to know him, I went back and read the journal history. What a beautiful light he is! I'm so grateful I had a chance to know him- even if through words on a screen- his energy and essence some shining through. I will never forget your child. Thank you for sharing his journey.
Peace and love and light,

Jennifer
Minneapolis, MN - Sunday, February 5, 2006 9:40 AM CST

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Happy birthday to a close friend and one of the best mothers i know!!I miss you, hopefully we'll see each other again soon!!
Glenda <glendaroche@ns.sympatico.ca>
- Sunday, February 5, 2006 9:02 AM CST

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Happy birthday, Kristy.

Carol, Gerry, Anthony, Laura, Rachel <carol@mulraney.com>
Aberdeenshire, Scotland, UK - Sunday, February 5, 2006 8:03 AM CST

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Hey,
Just wanted to let you know I was thinking of you guys and I love you!
Krystal
St Johns, Canada - Saturday, February 4, 2006 10:37 PM CST

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Hey Conor
We sent some balloons up to you in heaven today. One of the trees in grandma's backyard tried to eat one of them - the blue one - but eventually it let go and let the blue balloon sail up into the sky. Good thing we did it this morning before the hail came!
Cynthia, Maclean and Audrey Johnman <ajohnman@quickclic.net>
Hamilton, ON Canda - Saturday, February 4, 2006 3:07 PM CST

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Thinking of you all today and everyday......
Trina De Luca <phil_trina@hotmail.com>
Sherwood Park, Canada - Saturday, February 4, 2006 2:20 PM CST

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We're thinking of Conor, with fond memories.
Krithiga, Subhas, Surina and Arjun
- Saturday, February 4, 2006 1:40 PM CST

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With love to you, Kristy Darren Aidan, on this hardest of days. We miss and love you Conor.
with love

Carol, Gerry, Anthony, Laura, Rachel <carol@mulraney.com>
Aberdeenshire, Scotland, UK - Saturday, February 4, 2006 12:50 AM CST

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Conor, just wanted to let you and your mama know that you both continue to touch other's lives. I'm sure today will be especially difficult for your mama, so if you can, give her a big hug to her heart from her sweet boy.


Stef <sdziubek@hotmail.com>
Dartmouth, NS - Saturday, February 4, 2006 11:43 AM CST

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Conor,I'm sitting here wondering what to write.I can say a milion things but I know I don't have to.You knew how much I loved you and you certainly know how much I miss you.I'm going to think of all the happy times today ,not the sad ones, you deserve that.All the words in the world can't changed what happened but rememmbering the laughing ,loving little boy you were will make me smile.I know I will see you again one day,I know you are around me at times,I get your messages,all those little signs.I see you now out on the deck singing and jumping around pretending to play the quitar,what a show you put on ,we were all laughing so much.You sure could make us laugh.Thats what I remember.Conor the Performer.
I'll Love You Forever
I'll Like you For Always
As long as I'm Living
My grandson You'll Be
Missing you,Sending Hugs and Kisses
Nana
carol mercer <conaid@magma.ca>
- Saturday, February 4, 2006 10:37 AM CST

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Hi Kristy, Darren, and Aidan. Just wanted you to know that my thoughts are with you today. I hope today is filled with many happy memories of Conor, he was a special child. Love you, Glenda
Glenda <glendaroche@ns.sympatico.ca>
Eastern Passage, - Saturday, February 4, 2006 9:35 AM CST

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Hi Beauty, thinking of you today as always. Love to you all.
Lots of love always Nancy xoxoxoxox <n_mercer@nf.sympatico.ca>
St. John's, NL Canada - Saturday, February 4, 2006 8:08 AM CST

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CONOR,
THINKING OF YOU SWEET CONOR.IT'S HARD TO BELIEVE THAT IS HAS BEEN TWO YEARS SINCE YOU LEFT YOUR LOVED ONES TO BE IN HEAVEN CANCER FREE.I KNOW THAT TODAY IS GOING TO BE SO HARD ON YOUR MOMMY AND DADDY AND AIDAIN BUT I KNOW THAT YOU ARE GOING TO BE SENDING THEM SIGNS THAT YOU ARE WITH THEM.YOU ARE SO SPECIAL CONOR AND YOU WILL NEVER BE FORGOTTEN.I KNOW THAT YOUR FAMILY IS GOING TO BE THINKING OF ALL THE WONDERFUL TIMES THEY SHARED WITH YOU TODAY LIKE THEY DO ALWAYS.MISSING YOU SO MUCH CONOR YOUR SMILE YOUR LAUGH MISSING EVERYTHING.I LOVE YOU SWEET ANGEL CONOR.

LOVE ALWAYS BRENDA MY LOVING DAD'S SITE <brurka@shaw.ca>
EDMONTON,ALBERTA CANADA, - Saturday, February 4, 2006 1:01 AM CST

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Thinking about you today....

With love and hugs,
Marcia and the gang, HugABug http://fivegoofs.tripod.com <marciat@sympatico.ca>
- Friday, February 3, 2006 11:25 PM CST

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Kristy
Wow... I love your entry! We are thinking of you all. Conor will never be forgetten.

Carolyn mom to Beautiful Britni
Carolyn <abknsmom@telus.net>
GP, - Friday, February 3, 2006 11:20 PM CST

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As tomorrow approaches, I think of you all ... two years since Conor left. Each day the sun rises, sets, a new day starts and ends, time keeps going, life goes on..... but never a day goes by that a thought, conversation or just checking your website, Conor is remembered.

Conor, you will never be forgotten. You will always live in the hearts of those who knew you and those of us who didn't. You are a constant reminder of how important love and being loved truly is.
Heather <hbuchana@telus.net>
Calgary, - Friday, February 3, 2006 11:26 AM CST

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Ford family

I think of Conor often and come here to read your words about this amazing boy of yours. My thoughts and prayers are with you always but especially at this time of year. Blessings...
Suzanne <iamjsrc@gmail.com>
Nicholson, GA United States - Friday, February 3, 2006 6:21 AM CST

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Hi Everyone!This is a time when there are lots of thoughts and memories coming back to me.It feels like I just let go of Conor's warm hand a few moments ago and left his room; knowing it was the last time but hoping I was wrong.Love you all..... Pop xxx,ooo
Don Pacholka ,Pop <d_pacholka@hotmail.com>
St.John's, NL CANADA - Thursday, February 2, 2006 9:23 AM CST

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Beautiful journal entry Kristy. I'm so glad that Reiki has done all it has for you and that you've found a way to feel so connected to Conor. I'm sure that Conor was right there with you during your class and I'm sure that the train and photo were his way of showing you. Miss you lots. Give my love to Darren and Aiden too. XOXO
Lise <caileykyle@yahoo.com>
Toronto, ON Canada - Wednesday, February 1, 2006 3:29 PM CST

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Good Morning Conor! We miss you so much. Brooklyn always says your her boyfriend forever. She misses you so much. I wish you could of met Baby Ry. He loves Bob and Thomas just like you did and Aidan does. I think he would of loved you just like he does Aidan. Ryan knows who you are in pictures he says your name clear as day. I am so glad you were in our lives. You will never be forgotten. Thinking of you and Mommy, Daddy and little willy
Gina
Beaumont, - Wednesday, February 1, 2006 10:37 AM CST

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hey u guys
beautiful entrie kirsty love you all
love katie

conor- i miss you when i was babysitting aidan the other nite i asked him where was conor b/c he was telling me some stories about us haveing picnics and playing trains in his room. i asked him that and he said ya right now he is on your head wearing him tomas shirt and ripped jeans farting on your head when i heard this i rememberd the last time that we were there we played trains with conor and aidn too your pop was there then he siad that he was on your nose and he told me to start talking to conor. when i am at your house kiristy i feel conor there a large portion of memories of us and him there me and my sisters playing outside with you aidan on the swings or playing football with aidan or baseball i feel him pushing me or on my lap on the swing then when we eat cookies on the swing set top thing where there is like a roof i feel him there trying to get some cookies from me i miss you so much conor when i run the bases in baseball i feel you trying to have a race with me or trying to hold me back from going on it is really hard
well that is all i have to share right now love you all so much
and kristy if i do not get on the computer but your b-day
HAPPY BIRTHDAY KIRSTY
we miss you conor
love katie maygard

katie maygard <mini_me155@hotmail.com>
wetaskiwin, alberta canada - Tuesday, January 31, 2006 2:19 PM CST

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Kristy,
I continue to be moved and inspired by your words as I go through my own cancer journey - watching my best friend struggle with leukemia. Your honesty is so real and often so raw...but it continues to show us the underside of grief that most don't want to talk about. I often wonder why I keep coming back to your site. At first I thought it was because we shared a birthday - and I felt that "Aquarian" connection. Then I thought it was perhaps because your such an incredible writer (something I admire as a journalism/english major). But I realize that it was something more than that...you continue to show us the way - those of us who are behind you in the journey - how to watch someone you love die in little pieces. It is a lesson none of us want to learn - and few could teach. And while I think it does not even begin to justify why your son was taken from you; it does show why your words as Conor's mommy are still so very important.

It is your light - fueled by your incredible Conor - that illuminates the path for the rest us. We are incredibly greatful for all that you share.

With prayers that the light continues to shine,
Alice

I wish I could show you, when you are lonely or in darkness, the astonishing Light of your own Being.

- Hafiz


-
- Monday, January 30, 2006 3:02 PM CST

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Hi Baby ,I remember this day so well also ,it was the last time I saw your smiling face.You had come back from surgery and Daddy brought Aidan and me to the hospital.I couldn't go in the room but I remember looking in the window ,you were propped up on pillows looking so sick but you still managed to wave and smile.That picture is forever etched in my memory.So many thoughts going through my mind remembering those precious last days with you.every memory is a gift,a precious gift of pure true love from a amazing Grandson.It feels like my heart is going to break some days because I miss you so much.I am so greatful for all the time we shared,the walks ,playing hide and seek,colouring,reading,baking,snuggling in bed with you and so much more.I love you Little Man,you are so missed.I'll Love You Forever.Nana
carol mercer <conaid@magma.ca>
- Monday, January 30, 2006 11:46 AM CST

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Sweet Conor,
I miss you little buddy.You were always so happy and on the go.I sit her tonight remembering you like I often do.It is almost been 2 years since you left and the pain of you gone is still aching in my heart.Saturday I will be sending up some balloons for you sweety.Thinking of you always.Your picture of you and Brooklyn is right on my computer desk along with the one of just you.Then I have the pins from the Headshave 2 years ago hanging on an ornament beside my computer.You are never a minute from my mind.I think about you everyday and I wonder what you would be like today.Would you still be a thomas fan.I think you would of been.You loved Thomas so much.I always get a smile on my face when I think about the time you sneaked into my yard to go on the slide.I Love You Conor.
LOVE ALWAYS BRENDA MY LOVING DAD'S SITE <brurka@shaw.ca>
EDMONTON,ALBERTA CANADA, - Monday, January 30, 2006 1:04 AM CST

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Just popped by to see how things were going.

Jodi and McKayla

Jodi Phelan <jodiphelan@hotmail.com>
Sherwood Park, AB Canada - Saturday, January 28, 2006 11:52 AM CST

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Wanted to pop in and let you know that I'm thinking of you guys. If Izzy will sit still for a little while this weekend, I'll try to give you a call.

Take care and give Aidan a smooch from me.
Stacey Suire
Baton Rouge, LA USA - Friday, January 27, 2006 3:30 PM CST

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Hi Kristy,
This is brittany predham I am 16 years old now and in grade 11, but I used to go to St.John Bosco School. I don't know if you remember me but when i was in grade 9 I helped Ms.Nash to send things to Conor. I bought him a bunch of things like books and train related toys, and i helped put together things other students brought in to send to Conor. I cried when I heard Conor had passed away and the next day after that our school played It's My Life over the announcements and we had it on in all the class rooms. I also went to Conors memorial here in newfoundland and i was on a video that was given to you, and i sent a balloon up for conor. Well i just wanted to see how things were going and to let you know how strong you are. I admire you, your husband and Aiden. Best wishes in the future!
Brittany Predham <hunie_060@hotmail.com>
CBS, NL Canada - Wednesday, January 25, 2006 6:38 PM CST

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Hi Kristy,
This is brittany predham I am 16 years old now and in grade 11, but I used to go to St.John Bosco School. I don't know if you remember me but when i was in grade 9 I helped Ms.Nash to send things to Conor. I bought him a bunch of things like books and train related toys, and i helped put together things other students brought in to send to Conor. I cried when I heard Conor had passed away and the next day after that our school played It's My Life over the announcements and we had it on in all the class rooms. I also went to Conors memorial here in newfoundland and i was on a video that was given to you, i also sent a balloon up for conor. Well i just wanted to see how things were going and to let you know how strong you are. I admire you, your husband and Aiden. Best wishes in the future!
Brittany Predham
CBS, NL Canada - Wednesday, January 25, 2006 6:37 PM CST

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Hope all is well there. Hope you had a happy anniversary. It's hard to believe that it is coming up on 2 years. The time seems to go quickly. Maybe it doesn't for you, though. We were at a train show on Sunday and there were so many Thomas trains. I thought of Conor and how he would love it. Looking forward to hearing more Conor memories from you.
Lisa Kingsbury <dldarakingsbury@msn.com>
Sandy, UT - Wednesday, January 25, 2006 6:00 PM CST

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hey u guys
i miss you conor
i love you soooooo much aidan hope to see you soon
oh and i am feeling much better and my leg is healing
katie <mini_me155@hotmail.com>
- Wednesday, January 25, 2006 2:04 PM CST

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I miss you all terribly and think of precious Conor often.
leeann <niccofive@aol.com>
md - Tuesday, January 24, 2006 12:40 AM CST

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conor i miss you so much
i love you did u hear our yelling that we yelled @ u me and aidan
we love u so much
aidan really misses you he said that he could see you in your room on my head farting u little stinker. then you farted on my ear and in my hair and stuff like that lol you always reminde me of that i miss you so much some to one of my dreams i need to see you there to belive that you are still with me in a way
well i have to go oh and me and aidan and my sisters might have a sleepover tonite
love you all
love you willy and billy
love katie maygard
katie maygard <mini_me155@hotmail.com>
- Saturday, January 21, 2006 4:39 PM CST

---

Hi Conner, I know that we've never met but I herd about you from a friend and well I don't really know what to say. I'm sure that you are doing great in heaven because we all know that there is a special heaven for children, a place where kids can be kids and they have lots of friends and toys to play with... we all know how much children love their toys. I know that you are looking down on your mommy, daddy, brother and the rest of your family and that you are watching over them and making sure that they are safe and taken care of. xoxo~forever in our hearts-be safe~oxox
Melissa Jordan <joecool539@homail.com>
Mount Pearl, Newfound Land and Labrador Canada - Friday, January 20, 2006 9:12 PM CST

---

Hey Conor, i was just listening to Bon Jovi's "It's my Life", naturally it made me think of you. I love you and miss you.
...I will see you again...
Joey English <afrojoe11@hotmail.com>
Mount Pearl, NL Canada - Friday, January 20, 2006 9:01 PM CST

---

Hey Little Man,I'm sitting here reliving the days two years ago .remebering what I was doing at this time.Pushing Aidan's stroller up the hill to the hospital to visit with you.As soon as we got inside Aidan would start calling your name all the way down the hall.You were always so happy to see him coming,what I would give to see your smile again.It's almost 2 years since I've last seen you,but your face will never fade from my memory.I see your smile,your happy face,I see your arms reaching out for a hug.I miss you so much.I'll Love You Forever.Nana
carol mercer <conaid@magma.ca>
- Friday, January 20, 2006 12:13 AM CST

---

Hello, just thought i would pop by your page to have a nosey at how you are doing, i can never see thomas the tank engine without thinking of you guys




Love Viks from Hug a bug and

viks <viks@postpals.co.uk>
- Friday, January 20, 2006 12:00 AM CST

---

love you aidan
please wright soon
love you and miss you conor thinking
of u all
love katie maygard
katie <mini_me155@hotmail.com>
- Wednesday, January 18, 2006 3:12 PM CST

---

Thinking of you today
Pam <lakenormanheat@yahoo.com>
Denver, NC USA - Wednesday, January 18, 2006 7:41 AM CST

---

Kristy and Darren,



Thinking of you always.
LOVE ALWAYS BRENDA MY LOVING DAD <brurka@shaw.ca>
EDMONTON,ALBERTA CANADA, - Tuesday, January 17, 2006 1:53 AM CST

---

Happy Anniversary!
Bonnie
Madison, al usa - Monday, January 16, 2006 10:33 AM CST

---

Thinking of you tonight and always.
Crystal <canadiansweety2003@hotmail.com>
Red Deer, - Sunday, January 15, 2006 10:10 PM CST

---

Happy 7th anniversary Kristy and Darren.

I went back to read over Connor's journal, to see what he was doing around this time 2 years ago and saw it was your anniversary. I hope you have a wonderful one, filled with good memories.

I hope you feel Connor's presence every day. What a precious little boy.
Rita Bolli <thegr8bolli@yahoo.com>
Woodbridge, Va USA - Sunday, January 15, 2006 12:48 AM CST

---

It has been so long,so hard.I miss you beyond belief.It seems wrong to be living our lives without you.Aidan talks about you so much,it is like everyday he has a new memory of you,memories we all share together.I can't believe it will be 2 years on FEB 4.I feel so close to you here,like we are holding each other.I miss you buddy,visit us in our dreams.Love Dad.
DAD <dford_66@yahoo.ca>
WETASKIWIN, CANADA - Saturday, January 14, 2006 2:58 PM CST

---

conor i miss you
love you lots
love katie
p.s. kristy pleaze wright soon
katie <min_me155@hotmail.com>
- Wednesday, January 11, 2006 2:20 PM CST

---

Thinking of you tonight Conor.... give all your angel friends a big hug from me.. okay!

Heather <hbuchana@telus.net>
Calgary, - Tuesday, January 10, 2006 11:49 PM CST

---

kristy
please whright soon
love you all love katie

katie <mini_me155@hotmail.com>
- Tuesday, January 10, 2006 2:04 PM CST

---

kristy please wright soon
love you aidan
i hope that i will see you soon
maybe tonite
bye
love katie
katie <mini_me155@hotmail.com>
- Saturday, January 7, 2006 4:58 PM CST

---

Hoping that your Christmas and New Year was nice. Hope Aiden got lots of fun stuff! The memory you have of Conor and his tree is great! I hope that brings you comfort. Hoping that 2006 is a great year for all of you and that you continue to gain strenghth from your memories and joy in watching Aiden grow.
Lisa Kingsbury <dldarakingsbury@msn.com>
Sandy, UT - Friday, January 6, 2006 10:06 AM CST

---

Thinking of you today. Missing Conor forever
Pam <lakenormanheat@yahoo.com>
Denver, NC USA - Thursday, January 5, 2006 7:40 AM CST

---

Conor ,Another Christmas has come and gone without you here.I look at things in the stores and still say Conor would love that.It's not the same anymore,its just so sad thinking of you and wishing you were here to enjoy it all,the sparkle in your eyes lit up the room,lights weren't needed.I got your gift on the 22nd,wow ,you managed to reach out to me and certainly let me know you were there.Thank you so much.I miss you My Little Man.I'LL Love You Forever.Nana
carol mercer <conaid@magma.ca>
- Tuesday, January 3, 2006 11:47 AM CST

---

Did I tell you today?
I love you.
mommy <mommy@miss.you>
- Monday, January 2, 2006 11:50 AM CST

---

HAPPY NEW YEAR
hi guys
happy new year to everyone
call us when u get home and we can come see ya guys
love u guys much
oh and all those pictures of conor and us u you took kristy well katie is doin a scrapbook of us and conor
it is really nice she has 4 pages done and it is really awsome
well i hope u guys have a safe trip home and you had a really good time there
well phone us a.s.a.p.
ok well love you guys
kayla
kayla <kaylamaygard@msn.com>
Wetaskiwin, Ab Canada - Monday, January 2, 2006 0:35 AM CST

---

Kristy, Darren, and Aidan,

Gosh, I can't believe it's nearly been two years since your move to Calgary for the BMT/TBI. I can only imagine how hard those 2 years have been for you all. Please know that I think of you often and I pray for your continued strength and courage to get through each and every day.
Conor's spirit still lives on. He has made a difference to me and so many people who frequent this site. Embrace his legacy. He's an amazing soul.

Happy New Year! May this year bring you more tears of pride and happiness than sorrow.
Nancy Beauchemin <nancybea33@yahoo.com>
Calgary, AB Canada - Sunday, January 1, 2006 3:21 AM CST

---

conor
i miss you
i can't belive that another year has gone bye and you are not there i think that this year is going to me hard it was really hard this year when i a talking to people on msn and they always ask me who is that little boy on the display
pic well what am i sappose too say i love him and he is my lil friend he is gone gone to heaven he will always be in my hart and i miss him and then they say sorry i don't know if you know this but sorry does not work but it does make you feel better for a few minetes and then the conversation is all over and we start talking bout something else i miss you so much and i wish that you were here on febuary 4th 2006 it will be 2 years since i saw you and that i saw you
i was really hard to think of that when i woke up this morning.
also there are many ways that i see you
i put in a cd that was really old guess what the first song on it was ya that is right bon jovi it's my life it was hard for me to listen then all of a sudden i just started jumpin and screamin and yelling the words at that time i was talkin to my friend and she was wondering what i was singing because they liked that song
well i have to go
kristy aidan and darren and my angel in hevan have a HAPPY NEW YEAR



conor it is you and all of the angeles in hevean say hi to all of them for me
love katie

katie <mini_me155@hotmail.com>
- Saturday, December 31, 2005 10:09 PM CST

---

What a beautiful Lil guy, I know you miss him so from one Angel Mommy to another.
May you New Year be filled with Peace and Happiness in memoress of Conor.
With Gods Love
www.caringbridge.org/tn/kayla
www.caringbridge.org/tn/mimmie

A Day
A Day keeps the heat pumping,
A trear keeps the mind clear,
A smile gives joy to others,
A hug gives the hopeless hope, A thought a day broing loved ones near,A memory a day brings you closer to me

Laughs, tears, smiles, hugs
Stitched with thoughts and memories-
They're all in my days with out you
By P. B.
April "Angel" Mikayla Mimmie and Hunter Noah and Zach <babymsmom04@yahoo.com>
TN usa - Friday, December 30, 2005 9:21 PM CST

---

conor
did i tell you today i love you
did i tell you today that i miss you
did i tell you that you stink ahhaha
i love you and miss you and i still think that you are a stinky little boy
hahahahhahahahahhaha
i miss you though
i love you soooooo
much and i think that you should be here with me and i wish i wish i wish sooooo much well i have to go bye
love you conor
say hi to aidan for me and your mom and dad...
love katie maygard aka silly lilly
katie aka silly lilly <mini_me155@hotmail.com>
wetaskiwin, alberta canada - Thursday, December 29, 2005 7:34 PM CST

---

conor
miss you
love you
bye
katie <min_me155@hotmail.com>
- Wednesday, December 28, 2005 7:05 PM CST

---

Hi Everyone,I hope you all had a Merry Cristmas;for those of you in St.John's if you look towards the Basilica and notice the Lights of Love;one of them is Conor's ;it's the brightest one.xxx,ooo
Don Pacholka "Pop" <d_pacholka@hotmail.com>
St.John's, NL CANADA - Wednesday, December 28, 2005 5:24 PM CST

---

Just wanted to say hello and let you know I am thinking of you. I love the new pic.
Suzy
mom to my cardiac kid Tanner
www.tannerlaughs.net
Aunt to Rebecca who was diagnosed with ALL in her T cells Jan 13, 2005. Can you believe it has almost been a year?!
www.caringbridge.org/ca/rebeccalynn
Suzy <Tanlaughs1@aol.com>
grand terrace, Ca - Wednesday, December 28, 2005 5:21 AM CST

---

Hi guys,

I hope you all had a nice Christmas. I haven't seen that picture before. Kind of took my breath away when I opened the site this morning.

Love to all of you,
Stacey Suire <stacey@nbta-eng.com>
Baton Rouge, LA USA - Tuesday, December 27, 2005 10:33 AM CST

---

Merry Christmas my friends! Wishing you time filled with love, laughter and lots of memories. With lots of love from down south,

Cassamdra <cmraven@msn.com>
Albuquerque, NM - Sunday, December 25, 2005 7:14 PM CST

---

conor
it was a hard day for me today i miss you so much this christmas i thought of you so much and i could bairly take it. laitly all i wanted to do was lay in my bed and look at pics of you it was so hard to sleep last nite thinking of you so much and i was aurprised that i was sleeping by 10:30 which is early and we even had company too so i was surprised when i woke up at about 9 this morning tired and not wanting to get out of bed to go adn open presents all i wanted for christmas is you and well it never happened until i came to your site today and this was the strongest feeling i had for you was there when i woke up and it was really hard but the reason i wanted to come here was to wish you all a merry merry merry christmas love you all and aidan when i herd your voice on the phone i was so happy this morning so love you all







love you all
love katie maygard
katie maygard <mini_me155@hotmail.com>
- Sunday, December 25, 2005 6:19 PM CST

---

Merry Christmas Conor, You are a special angel, i think of you often, I Love You, Glenda.
glenda <glendaroche@ns.sympatico.ca>
- Sunday, December 25, 2005 1:08 PM CST

---

Thinking about you at Christmastime. Enjoy a day of wonder with Aidan, and a day of warm and fuzzy memories of sweet Conor.
Love,
Marcia and the gang, HugABug http://fivegoofs.tripod.com <marciat@sympatico.ca>
- Saturday, December 24, 2005 11:43 PM CST

---

Kristy,

From my family to yours, we wish you a peaceful, reflective Christmas. May Conor's spirit fill the void he has left you with. Look up to the stars and know that he is with you everywhere you go.

All our love,
Nancy, Andre, Martin, Emily, Solene & Evelynne Beauchemin <nancybea33@yahoo.com>
Calgary, AB Canada - Saturday, December 24, 2005 11:33 PM CST

---

Merry Christmas everyone
hope everyone has a excellent Christmas

hope everyone gets what they want
bye
kayla <kaylamaygard@msn.com>
Wetaskiwin, Ab Canada - Saturday, December 24, 2005 11:02 PM CST

---

Thinking of you this Christmas...
Ron <ron@borsholm.ca>
Victoria, BC Canada - Saturday, December 24, 2005 10:49 PM CST

---

I pray for you to have a Peaceful Christmas, and that you may feel comfort knowing that so many are thinking about you.

Lisa and Aiden <Rolexh@aol.com>
FL - Saturday, December 24, 2005 9:19 PM CST

---

I pray for you to have a Peaceful Christmas, and that you may feel comfort knowing that so many are thinking about you.

Lisa and <Rolexh@aol.com>
FL - Saturday, December 24, 2005 9:19 PM CST

---

MY CHRISTMAS ANGEL

LOVE ALWAYS BRENDA <brurka@shaw.ca>
EDMONTON,ALBERTA CANADA, - Saturday, December 24, 2005 9:15 PM CST

---

conor
i miss you
love you so much
MERRY CHRISTMAS
love katie maygard










love lots katie maygard
katie maygard <mini_me155@hotmail.com>
wetaskiwin, alberta canada - Saturday, December 24, 2005 8:17 PM CST

---

kristy
i just lost my whole gest book entry
i don't have time right now to re-wright it so ya
but anyway love you all lots have fun on your trip
love you all lots
love katie maygard

MERRY CHRISTMAS


katie maygard <mini_me155@hotmail.com>
- Saturday, December 24, 2005 6:25 PM CST

---

From our home to yours, may you all have a very Merry Christmas! We will count how we have been inspired by your Conor among our blessings.

And may the sound of Aiden ripping through all that wrap bring you a ton of smiles!

Terry, Mary, Nicholas and Julianna Banana <tjosephson@shaw.ca>
Winnipeg, Canada - Friday, December 23, 2005 11:13 AM CST

---

Merry Christmas Fords!
Conor's spirit is with us! I am making his Sweet Potato Scones today and Ryan got a train that puffs smoke!!
Thinking of you guys, today and everyday this holiday season. We miss you!!
Gina
Beaumont, - Friday, December 23, 2005 9:56 AM CST

---

Thinking of you all and wishing you all a Merry Christmas!
Tracy Eckhardt (hug a Bug) and Christopher <teckhardt@sympatico.ca>
Kitchener, ON Canada - Thursday, December 22, 2005 8:26 AM CST

---

Thinking of you today. Merry Christmas!

Pam <lakenormanheat@yahoo.com>
Denver, NC USA - Thursday, December 22, 2005 7:37 AM CST

---

Wishing you ALL a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. I bet Aidan is excited for Santa to arrive.

Conor you are never far from my thoughts......
Heather <hbuchana@telus.net>
Calgary, - Wednesday, December 21, 2005 10:49 PM CST

---

Kristy, I just came by your site and wanted to say I was thinking about you all.
Rachel
Mariposa, CA USA - Wednesday, December 21, 2005 4:55 PM CST

---

kristy
please wright soon
and i am thinking of you
i miss you so much conor this will be my second christmas that i have not seen you there i wish that you would come in my dreams on christmas eve i thought of u today when i was in the dollar store and i herd that song these are some of my favorit things from the sound of music and i was thinking of you even though i forgott some of the word
too it
so please kristy wright soon and see if you can put that dong for the background music love you lots
we get off school tommorrow so maybe i will right tommorrw night of on thursday befor chirstmas that is for sure love you lots
katie
katie <mini_me155@hotmail.com>
- Tuesday, December 20, 2005 7:48 PM CST

---

Just letting you know that I'm thinking of you always.
MY LOVING DAD'S SITE <brurka@shaw.ca>
EDMONTON,ALBERTA CANADA, - Tuesday, December 20, 2005 1:24 AM CST

---

, - Monday, December 19, 2005 3:30 PM CST

---

hi
kristy
please wright soon i miss you all so much
merry christmas are you guys haveing fun
hope to get a phone call from you soon we are out of school
on wednesday so mayber you can call sometime on friday because we might not be home on thursday and today is my moms birthday i will right your families name on it for you she turns really old 40wow don't you think i will make an extra card b/c i am going to go and buy flowers for her
love you all so much
and have a merry christmas
i love you all so much especially you aidan
love katie maygard you silly friend
katie <mini_me155@hotmail.com>
- Monday, December 19, 2005 2:52 PM CST

---

Kristy, Darren and Aidan
I just wanted to stop by and say I am thinking about you. Sending super big hugs from Alabama.
Bonnie
Bonnie Howard
Madison, Al USA - Monday, December 19, 2005 10:39 AM CST

---

I just want you to know that we are thinking of you during the holidays.

Jodi and McKayla

Jodi Phelan <jodiphelan@hotmail.com>
Sherwood Park, AB Canada - Saturday, December 17, 2005 9:48 PM CST

---

THE CLUB
by Karen Grover 1989


In January, 1987, my husband and I became members of a very exclusive club. We had been only vaguely aware of its existence, and we thought that surely a chapter in a city the size of ours wouldn't have many members.

We had seen a few people who belonged to the club, but we didn't seem to have anything in common with them, so we didn't really get to know them. Occasionally, we read stories in the newspaper about new members being initiated into the club, but it didn't seem likely that we would ever be eligible to join, so we paid no attention.

The price of membership is so dear that we couldn't imagine being a part of the club. We must have realized in the backs of our minds that people didn't choose to join and pay the dues--it was done for them somehow. In fact, no one really has any idea of how members are selected. There are a lot of theories; but much of the time, the theories come from non-members who don't understand much about the situation.

The "club" we are now in (although it is not an organized group), is known as "bereaved parents." The cost of our membership was the life of our son; and we, like all other members, have no idea why we were selected for membership.

No one wants to be in this club. Even now, months afterward, inside our hearts and minds we continue to fight membership, but there is no resigning from it. It is an automatic lifetime membership. There was no way to avoid it--we did the best we could to keep our son safe. For fourteen years, we guided him through dangers, only to have him die in a seemingly minor auto accident. Though we lay awake night after night, and think of it day after day, there is no answer as to why we have been thrust into this select group. We hate it and we cry out in protest, but there is no way to change it.

We have learned a lot since our membership began. We now understand much about the other members. In fact, we seek to be with them, to have regular get-togethers, to discuss our membership, and try to understand its value.

Sometimes, those outside the club are afraid of us, fearing that if they come near us or talk with us, they will be selected to become members too! Acquaintances often try to ignore the membership, pretending that it doesn't exist. They seem to think that will make things easier, and then the members won't feel "different," but it really only makes things much worse.

So many times, I have wanted someone to say hello or to tell me she has been thinking of me or to mention something about the absent child who still lives inside me and overshadows all my thoughts. I have heard people say, "I don't want to upset her, or remind her of her son, or say something that will make her cry."

I want to tell them: "The only way you can make me feel worse than I already do is to pretend that he doesn't exist or that it isn't as deep and painful as you surely know it is.

Have you ever experienced the feeling of having one terrible incident go through your mind, day after day, week after week, month after month, wondering why it happened and how you could have prevented it? Well, don't worry about reminding me of my son. I am thinking about him nearly twenty-four hours a day.

"Sure, sometimes my mind is temporarily distracted--it would have to be to function at all. But if you think there is even one day that goes by without my child's death tearing up my heart, then you have no idea what this club is all about.

"I appreciate your talking about my child, or at least letting me talk about him. He was a very large part of my life, and ignoring him now will really hurt me. It makes me think that you feel he's no longer important because he's gone. It hurts to think that people don't want to think about him or remember good things about him, just because he has died.

"I understand that you don't want to say anything that will make me cry. That sounds kind, and I used to feel that way too, but now I know better. I'd rather the tears didn't come when you talk to me because I know they may scare you away, or at least make you very uncomfortable. But I've learned how useful and necessary they are. If I go too long without tears, my body builds up a terrible pressure from the pain of the grief. If you will allow me to cry in your presence, perhaps I won't have to cry alone, wondering if anyone else remembers, or even cares, about my loss.

"You can't know what will make me cry--sometimes I don't know, myself. Some days I stay dry-eyed through nearly everything. Other days, the slightest thing will start the tears--things you could not possibly imagine or anticipate. Not all the tears are tears of sorrow. Even in the midst of my anguish, I sometimes cry tears of joy and relief because you have reached out; because you have confirmed that my son was special; perhaps because you have shared with me some precious memory about him which I had not known before.

"Please don't run away from me. Don't pretend his death never occurred, or even worse, that he never lived! I still love him, think of him, need to remember. Please share with me and we will both feel better.

"I am learning that God is not punishing me. He did not cause the death of my son. But, He can help me to grow through this experience--to become stronger and wiser and more caring, if I have some help. Initially, when I was told by a church member that I would change and grow stronger through this experience, I wanted to scream that if it meant giving up my son, I didn't want to change or get stronger. But I know I have no choice about that now--he is gone. Now my choices are to either let God, and friends, help me; or I can choose to allow this grief to destroy me."

I have to experience the grief. I can't pretend it doesn't hurt, or hurry it along. That's what membership in this club is teaching me. I am choosing to allow God to take an unspeakable experience and use it to start life again.

Suzy <tanlaughs1@aol.com>
- Saturday, December 17, 2005 8:19 PM CST

---

Christmas Time

It's Christmas time my family,
Yes, it's that time of year.
I'm not sure what it's like done there,
but it's heavenly up here.

There's lots of toys and lots of games.
A cake and presents too.
There's only one thing missing,
And that one thing is you.

But please don't cry my mummy,
Don't fret my daddy please.
Your present will still reach me,
On this lovely Christmas eve.

Cause I have a great big stocking,
Which is hung beside my bed.
The angels made it for me,
And it's beautiful velvet red.

And if, while you are sleeping,
You feel a touch upon your cheek,
Or maybe a gentle breeze blow by,
It is an angel, so do not weep.

Any thoughts you have for me,
Or messages of love,
The angels will collect them from you,
And bring them up above.

They will put them in my stocking,
When I am fast asleep.
And when I wake on Christmas morn,
I'll have them all to keep.

And so my precious family,
As you can plainly see,
Anything you want to say,
The angels will bring to me.

I know that it is hard for you,
To be happy when your heart is broke.
With a tear stained hanky on your lap,
And a great big lump in your throat.

But remember why we celebrate Christmas,
Remember the birth of Christ.
For it is because of him
I have eternal life.

LOVE ALWAYS BRENDA MY LOVING DAD'S SITE <brurka@shaw.ca>
EDMONTON,ALBERTA CANADA, - Saturday, December 17, 2005 2:14 AM CST

---

It's been a while. I never know what to say. Your memories of Conor and how you describe them are so real, it makes me feel like I am there. I can see what you are describing. Your pain is so evident, but so is your love and admiration for your family. It makes me so sad to realize the pain that you feel every day. I can only hope that some day the pain will be at least partially replaced by just the memories that make you smile. Your memories are etched into your heart and by journaling them, you will always remember every minute. I know I have never met you or Conor, but you let us into your hearts and lives, and I thank you for that. I think of you often. My 5 year old son is really into Thomas the Tank Engine right now and is asking for some for Christmas. I was thinking of you and Conor as we were talking about them. Then, for some reason, the topic turned to nicknames. He said his nickname was "Billy". I asked where he heard that, because we don't know anyone named Billy, and have never called him Billy. He didn't know why. It made me smile, though, and cry. I'd like to think that maybe Conor was there talking to my son about which Thomas pieces to ask for.
I hope you have a happy holiday season and that memories of Conor fill your heart with joy.
Lisa Kingsbury <dldarakingsbury@msn.com>
Sandy, UT - Thursday, December 15, 2005 2:42 PM CST

---

Hi Kirsty...
Just checking in to say hi..its been ages since we spoke.
Love u all

Bina <bruparelia@hotmail.com>
Bermuda, - Tuesday, December 13, 2005 5:30 AM CST

---

Hi Conor, thinking of you tonight ... keep being that shining bright star in the sky at night when I drive home ... I always look for you .. and you are always there...

Heather <huchana@telus.net>
Calgary, - Tuesday, December 13, 2005 0:04 AM CST

---

I thought of Conor last night, as I was lighting my candles for the world wide candle lighting for our lost children. They will never be forgotten!
Marcia, Stephen, Nicole, Meghan, Kayla, Chrissy, Emily and Angels Sonja and Tanner, hug a bug http://fivegoofs.tripod.com <marciat@sympatico.ca>
- Monday, December 12, 2005 9:17 PM CST

---

Letter to Mom
by Joy Curnutt

Mom, please don’t feel guilty
It was just my time to go.
I see you are still feeling sad,
And the tears just seem to flow.

We all come to earth for our lifetime,
And for some it’s not many years
I don’t want you to keep crying
You are shedding so many tears.

I haven’t really left you
Even though it may seem so.
And I’m closer to you than you know.

Just believe that when you say my name
I’m standing next to you,
I know you long to see me,
But there’s nothing I can do.

But I’ll still send you messages
And hope you understand,
That when your time comes to “cross over,”
I’ll be there to take your hand.

Thinking of you Always Kristy :)

Love you, Hugs and Kisses to Aidan and Darren. Special Hugs and Kisses for Conor - Nancy xoxox
St. John's, NL Canada - Monday, December 12, 2005 8:55 AM CST

---

Hi guys
It's almost Christmas
I am so excited
Bye
kayla <kaylamaygard@msn.com>
Wetaskiwin, Ab Canada - Sunday, December 11, 2005 12:54 AM CST

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hi guys





hope to see you guys soon

kayla <kaylamaygard@msn.com>
Wetaskiwin, Ab Canada - Wednesday, December 7, 2005 9:16 PM CST

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I know it's been like forever since I've visited you.
I have just been so busy.KEEPIN YOU IN MY THOUGHTS DURING THE HOLIDAY SEASON.ALWAYS THINKING OF YOU.
LOVE ALWAYS BRENDA MY LOVING DAD'S SITE <brurka@shaw.ca>
EDMONTON,ALBERTA CANADA, - Tuesday, December 6, 2005 11:02 AM CST

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Your words are so beautiful. I am Praying for you tonight. I think of Connor all the time, although I never met him, and only discovered your site just 2 months ago. I just know that our two boys would have had so much fun together. I was on the way to the hospital to see my son, and I actually sat and thought of Connor at a red light. I don't know why my mind drifted to think of him, but I thought of him and it made me smile. Thank you for sharing him. Many prayers for your family.
Lisa and Aiden <Rolexh@aol.com>
- Monday, December 5, 2005 8:15 PM CST

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Just stopping in to let you know I'm thinking of you all tonight! Glad to hear the radio broadcast went well!
Tracy Eckhardt (Hug a Bug)and Christopher <teckhardt@sympatico.ca>
Kitchener, ON Canada - Sunday, December 4, 2005 10:52 PM CST

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Goodnight little man and sweet dreams...

Nan & Pop
Dartmouth, NS - Sunday, December 4, 2005 9:05 PM CST

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Kristy, you write so eloquently of your precious son. I think of you so often during the day and wish I could take away your pain. You continue to be such an incredible mom to both your boys!
Sarah <sarahr531@yahoo.com>
- Saturday, December 3, 2005 12:21 AM CST

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Beautiful entry,
Thinking of you always Conor
Fun Playing poker with you Aidan...
Gina <gparnell@telus.net>
Beaumont, - Saturday, December 3, 2005 11:38 AM CST

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please wright soon
and put that pic of aidan on the site too
love you all lots
love katie :-)
katie <minime155@hotmail.com>
- Thursday, December 1, 2005 2:29 PM CST

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Hi, hope your doing ok:)


Stephanie O <aglazer08@msn.com>
Bowden, AB Canada - Wednesday, November 30, 2005 10:27 PM CST

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just saying hi
hope u have a wonderful day
see ya later alligator
chow
kayla

kayla <kaylamaygard@msn.com>
Conor's home town Wetaskiwin, Ab Canada - Wednesday, November 30, 2005 7:33 PM CST

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krity
please put aidan's school picture on the web
he is so cute on it
thanx
love you all lots
love katie maygard
katie <mini_me155@hotmail.com>
- Tuesday, November 29, 2005 3:19 PM CST

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Hey Little Buddy,Just wanted to tell I Love You and miss you so much.Also I'll Love You Forever.Nana
carol mercer <conaid@magma.ca>
- Tuesday, November 29, 2005 11:48 AM CST

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~~~~~
- Monday, November 28, 2005 3:39 PM CST

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kristy
please wright soon
love you all lots
love katie
katie
- Sunday, November 27, 2005 10:18 AM CST

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i miss you so much
yesterday aidan said that i was beutiful and i said that he was cute and he said that he likes my hair

today we bought the polar express and we watched it tonight me my mom and my sisters i was relly good even though i saw it at your house so much and know that we own it is is even better with sourand sound i was really good
you would have loved him so much and you and aidan would always be watching it i miss when we use to watch all of your movies togehter i was so fun watching movies and playing thomas and stuff like that i miss it so much.

i never really knew how many trains you had until i was babysitting aidan and he wanted to start playing metal trains i built him a track in the living room with the polar exress on i looked in his play room and it was very messy so i started to clean and you have 1 blue bin of wodden trains and 2 or 3 blue bins of trackes and then that one big bin/stool full of it too. you also have a in of blastic tracks and i bin of metal trains and i little bit of baby trains like all of these


they are so cute well i got some more picts aka smilies -so cute-

so here they are




g2g
love you conor
love katie maygard
katie <mini_me155@hotmail.com>
- Saturday, November 26, 2005 11:00 PM CST

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Kristy, I bet Conor is so proud of you! It sounds like you did a great job on the radio, I wish I could've heard you!
Sarah <sarahr531@yahoo.com>
- Saturday, November 26, 2005 7:40 AM CST

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Conor moments

There are Conor moments here every week - Lovisa's still talking to him and is so happy it's getting darker so she can se his star - the star where Conor and "Robbie's daddy" sits and watches their familes and friends.

The card with Conor and Aidan is her most precious thing.

Conor will always be a part of the Oct99:ers and You (Kristy, Darren & Aidan) will always be an Oct99 family.

He lives in all our hearts for ever and ever!


Carola and the rest of the family
Öjebyn, Sweden - Friday, November 25, 2005 9:06 AM CST

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hi
love you i will see you tommorw

i got some for you

dance aidan dance



you whenit startes snowing
laught out loud


love you all lots
aidan love
katie <mini_me155@hotmail.com>
- Thursday, November 24, 2005 11:21 PM CST

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hi
it's allison
i hope you like





love allison maygard

allison maygard <allisonmaygard@msn.com>
- Thursday, November 24, 2005 11:10 PM CST

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Hi
a few days ago i said hope to see you in my dreams conor
that same night, conor was in my dreams
Conor and aidan had to go to the bathroom at the same time
I was mad because my mom woke me up
i had to go to school


hope to see you soon
love you


love you











by

Kayla Maygard <kaylamaygard@msn.com>
Conor's home town Wetaskiwin, Ab Canada - Thursday, November 24, 2005 10:09 PM CST

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hi


katie <mini_me155@hotmail.com>
- Thursday, November 24, 2005 8:50 PM CST

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Hey Kristy
We hope you have a wonderful Thankgiving We Love You
Thankgining Love Always
Michelle & Aunt Marlene
xoxox
Michelle And Aunt Marlene <Michellecats2003@yahoo.com or michellecats2003@tmail.com>
Banning, CA U.S.A. - Thursday, November 24, 2005 1:56 PM CST

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kristy
you were great my dad did something for the bear today for cancer but he is going to tell me when i get home. i am babysitting those people that have that cute little puppy and they have a name




BABY!!!!





because he is not going to get that big not much bigger then what he is now that is cute hu
well i have to go


bye bye
love you aidan
love katie maygard
katie maygard <mini_me155@hotmail.com>
- Wednesday, November 23, 2005 10:04 PM CST

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Hey Little Man,Wasn't your mommy great on the radio yesterday,she did a amazing job getting your message out to help other children,and wouldn't you know it just as I was going up the stairs to listen to the radio on my computer Bon Jovi came on singing It's My Life on tv.I couldn't believe it.Every time I hear that song I cry,thinking of you and I see your face.I remember being alone in the ICU with you and that song played and than at your Celebration Of Life,powerful memories.Anyway I've gone off the track.Mommy was very brave,but she did because she loves you so much and Again you have touched so many people.I'm so proud of you and Mommy.I'll Love You Forever.Nana
carol mercer <conaid@magma.ca>
- Wednesday, November 23, 2005 11:54 AM CST

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Kristy,
I bet you were great on the radio...I wish I had heard it, I'm sure Conor would have been very proud of you. I'm glad that I got the after call...here's one for Great Big Sea. Don't ever lose your love of music. Come home soon!!
My thoughts are with you always
Kath
Kathy Wadden <kwadden@wm.com>
St. John's, Nl - Wednesday, November 23, 2005 5:45 AM CST

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HI Kristy:
I heard you on the radio today at work. It of course brought a tear to my eyes. The battles these kids fight. My son treated at 4E3 also but ended in Jan/01. I check your site often but do not sign very often.
Thank you again for sharing with others for such a great cause.
Hugs,
Michelle and Chris <mbaberant@shaw,.ca>
Edmonton, AB Canada - Wednesday, November 23, 2005 0:07 AM CST

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Hey Conor, you must be so proud of your mom... and you too Aidan!! I did not hear you Kristy but sounds like you did an awesome job!


Heather <hbuchana@telus.net>
Calgary, AB - Tuesday, November 22, 2005 10:03 PM CST

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I conor
here are some train smilies
enjoy







By
kayla
kayla <kaylamaygard@msn.com>
Conor home town Wetaskiwin, ,AB Canada - Tuesday, November 22, 2005 7:29 PM CST

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Hi kristy
I heard you on the radio
great job
see you soon
Kayla Maygard <kaylamaygard@msn.com>
Conor's home town Wetaskiwin, alberta Canada - Tuesday, November 22, 2005 6:44 PM CST

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Curried chicken? Cute!

I managed to catch your interview at 3:40. You came across very composed and well spoken, nicely done Kristy! (a lot better than all the um's & uh's that I would have done!) I'm sure your interview did it's job and brought in some money.

Take care,
Terry, Julianna Banana's dad <tjosephson@shaw.ca>
Winnipeg, Canada - Tuesday, November 22, 2005 5:28 PM CST

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Conor,I just listened to your mom on the radio doing the fundraiser for The Stollery Hospital;I know you are very proud of her as I am .She did such a great job.Loving you always....Pop,xxx,ooo
Don Pacholka.......Pop <d_pacholka@hotmail.com>
St.John's, NL CANADA - Tuesday, November 22, 2005 5:02 PM CST

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Kristy, you did an amazing job!! I was a bit panicked, because I tuned in at 3:40, and it was someone else. Then I realized it was because it was 3:40 my time, not yours. Oops. LOL I tuned in at 5:40, and there you were. :)
Funny that he asked you about Conor's fave food. I'm sure he didn't get that reply often!
Bravo!

Marcia and the gang, HugABug http://fivegoofs.tripod.com <marciat@sympatico.ca>
- Tuesday, November 22, 2005 4:53 PM CST

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kristy
i will be listening
love you all
love katie

katie <mini_me155@hotmail.com>
- Tuesday, November 22, 2005 11:17 AM CST

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Hey Kristy, music really is an amazing way to hear messages. Alone time in the van is always so emotional for me.
Good luck with the interview. Hopefully you can link it to the site like some of the other parents have. I'd love to hear it.

Keep dancing!

Marcia and the gang, HugABug http://fivegoofs.tripod.com <marciat@sympatico.ca>
- Monday, November 21, 2005 10:47 PM CST

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hi conor
we miss you
hope to hear from you in my dreams
Kayla <kaylamaygard@msn.com>
- Monday, November 21, 2005 8:13 PM CST

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Thinking of you today. Hope you and Aiden are having fun together!
sarah <sarahr531@yahoo.com>
- Monday, November 21, 2005 2:13 PM CST

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kristy
i remember in the summer you and me all in our clothes running through the sprinkler then this and last year i was with aidan and we went through the sprinkler with all of the clothes on after summer day camps with our bags and all
i miss it when we went in your little purple swimming pool with you then haveing races around the yard and running through the garden sprinkler then going into the house also going through the woody sprinkler together then that time that you said that you were going to teach aidan how to go through the sprinkler




i also remember the day that we came we thought that aidan was still in your mommies belly and then when we got there we saw a hole buntch of reliteves at your house there talking to you all outside. you just wanted to play in your swimming pool i miss that so much and i miss you.

i also remember haveing picnics at the top of your tree house with cookies that were so yummie you always ate so many of them i thought that you were going to get sick when you went high on the swing just after you ate all of those cookies. i miss that too even tough we do do that with aidan but i miss you with me and aidan misses you too,



i also remember when you were walking us home one day you got snow in your boots and you never really did like snow your mom was joking around as usally and she said that she needed to have a grage sale and she is going to get you to shovel all of the snow out of the back yard so that they could have a grage sale that was really funnie you should have seen your face it was very funnie.here is what you looked like.



well i have to go i think that is enough stories for one day i love you all

love

here is one for you aidan



love you all


katie maygard <mini_me155@hotmail.com>
-, - - - Saturday, November 19, 2005 5:45 PM CST

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-
- Saturday, November 19, 2005 4:46 PM CST

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conor
i just got some smilies and i thought of you in some of them just trying to be silly and here are some



you have just been mooned
i finally got you instead of you getting me for once
i love you and here are some more



playing trains and being happy was my favorit thing that we did together conor
i miss you so much and
i love you so much too



you will always be my angel down on earth and in heaven




it is starting to get cold i it will be christmas comeing up i will think of you more because you will not be here this christmas it was hard enough last year and i will most likly be even harder this year and i will cry with tears of sadness nad happynes with joy that you don't have cancer but you have left me that is what makes me sad and i miss you

here is another one baby



angel watching over me

i love you and i miss you
i have to go now
i love you so much and i wish that you were alive and without cancer i love you

love katie maygard aka silly lilly
love you baby aidan too
i will come and viset soon
love you
katie <mini_me155@hotmail.com>
- Saturday, November 19, 2005 4:07 PM CST

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katie
- Saturday, November 19, 2005 3:48 PM CST

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-
- Saturday, November 19, 2005 3:47 PM CST

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I remember when you and Nathan played all evening! Nathan wanted to borrow Harold. He didn't have Harold, and infact I don't think I knew that Harold existed yet. I stayed in Britni's room while she slept, and nursed baby Airn. I remember thinking that your mommy had done the samething with you baby brother, Aidan. I am glad that I got to know you mommy and Aidan and you, Conor. Nathan now owns two Harolds, and still talks of you. Nathan only got to play with you those few short days in Dec. 2003, but you left Nathan with an everlasting memory!

Love Nathan's mom
Carolyn <abknsmom@telus.net>
- Saturday, November 19, 2005 2:01 PM CST

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hi
i have a story
i remember that conor always liked the stairs and he wanted to have races down them and play with aidan and me and my sisters on them. i remember haveing races and conor or aidan would always win and then they wanted us to carrie
them all the way up the stairs it was fun. and now that the carpet off the stairs aidan likes to through the bouncey balls down the stairs it is very fun i hope you have a
good. oh ya and last night when i was babysitting aidan he said that he remembers playing on the stairs with conor and me and my sisters. and aidan you are the best dancer in the
whole world remember the robot aidan. i love you so much.


love
katie
aka
silly lilly

p.s. i love you

p.s.s. aidan had a relly bad stomic ace last night and i was hard for him to fall asleep

love you all
katie
katie aka silly lilly <mini_me155@hotmail.com>
- Friday, November 18, 2005 5:18 PM CST

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I never personally had the opportunity to meet Conor but I do have one story that I would like to share with you. Our kids and I have been wearing our orange bacelets since getting them from Cassandra. One day while shopping in West Edmonton Mall I met a lady in the elevator who questioned us about our bracelets. Here she was wearing one too! She then proceded to tell me that she wore it in memory of Conor. Of all the thousands of people in the mall that day there we were 2 strangers with a tie to a remarkable little boy whom I never had met. Conor and your family have touched many people. Thank you for sharing this journey with us. I hope and pray that one day there will be a cure. You are always in our thoughts.
Shelley Sych <funwithfour@shaw.ca>
Lloydminster, AB Canada - Friday, November 18, 2005 4:01 PM CST

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Hi Baby ,I come here every day just to see you,I know I have lots of pictures of you but coming to this site just seems like I'm really visiting you,I find some little bit of comfort like the times we talked and played on the computer together while we were both in different provinces.Remember the pictures we drew and sometimes you would run around the house saying chuga chuga ,I would say STOP,than after a second you've run again,we had so much fun.Or the times you would crawl up to the monitor to give me a kiss.I wish you could do those things now although being 6 years old might be too big to kiss your Nana on a monitor,you would know the difference.I miss you sweet little man.I'll love you FOREVER.
carol mercer <conaid@magma.ca>
- Friday, November 18, 2005 2:52 PM CST

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Hello..I was out shopping today and saw that Brio has put out a Polar Express train set. I thought of you and how much you said you all enjoyed the movie.
Sarah <sarahr531@yahoo.com>
MA - Friday, November 18, 2005 2:38 PM CST

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Thinking of you today. From one mommy of a "Thomas fan" to the another, I think of you and pray for you often. God Bless.
Lisa and Aiden <Rolexh@aol.com>
St. Pete, Fl US - Friday, November 18, 2005 10:28 AM CST

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I regret so much that I never got to meet Conor. But I did get to talk to him on the phone once. And he hung up on me! *LOL* Ah well...can't say I blame him. He was busy playing. :-) My favorite Conor story is still, "Mom farts."

Aidan's song is beautiful. I'm glad you wrote it down. Tell him I want to play trains again sometime soon.

Love to you guys,
Stacey <stacey@nbta-eng.com>
Baton Rouge, LA USA - Thursday, November 17, 2005 5:00 PM CST

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hi
this is katie
i just wanted to say hi
so HIhihihHIIHIHIHIHHIHIHIHIHihih
love you all
love katie maygard
aka silly lilly

katie <mini_me155@hotmail.com>
- Thursday, November 17, 2005 2:27 PM CST

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I really wish I had a Conor story to share with you, but I was never lucky enough to have met your sweet boy. I just found your site through Juliana Banana's and was drawn to read Conor's story. Thank you for sharing him with all of us, even having never met him I know I will never forget him or your family.
Sarah <sarahr531@yahoo.com>
MA - Thursday, November 17, 2005 7:57 AM CST

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Hi Conor, just wanted to drop you a line and let you know that we are thinking of you your mom and dad and Aidan. It is turning to summer here in Australia and we have been swimming and getting ready for our School summer break over December/January.

Elliott and Bianca XXXX
Elliott, Bianca Shellie and Phil
Beaudesert , QLD Australia - Thursday, November 17, 2005 0:12 AM CST

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"What is REAL?" asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. "Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?"

"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real."

"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.

"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt."

"Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?"

"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."
-The Velveteen Rabbit

Kristy - May the knowledge that Conor's love made you real be of some small comfort today.
alice
- Wednesday, November 16, 2005 4:12 PM CST

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I just dropped in to see how you were doing.
Jodi and McKayla

Jodi Phelan <jodiphelan@hotmail.com>
Sherwood Park, AB Canada - Tuesday, November 15, 2005 2:04 PM CST

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hi
this is katie
i will birng my storie the next time i see u guys
just call and remind me befor i come
love u all
katie
p.s. i am doing this thing called linking generations and my elder would like me to read the story i wrote about conor to her so if i do not have permission call me or wright it on the site she would also like to see some pictures of conor so i would like to bring those too
if i may
love you all lots
love katie
p.s.s. allison loves her new bratz she got for her
birthday thank you again aidan
love katie maygard
katie <mini_me155@hotmail.com>
- Monday, November 14, 2005 5:16 PM CST

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Thinking of you always.

- Monday, November 14, 2005 2:48 AM CST

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Thinking of You and Your Very Special Little Boy.

Love From,
Julianna Banana's Auntie Tammy
Tammy Fournier <tammyfournier@westman.wave.ca>
Brandon, MB Canada - Sunday, November 13, 2005 9:35 PM CST

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Conor I remmeber you. It doesn't matter what memory I conjure each one is equally wonderful. Your face, your smell, your sound, your spirit, your energy...you...I miss you. I love you.

mom
- Sunday, November 13, 2005 3:30 AM CST

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Here is one for you....
When we went to the beach, the day you got Aussie.
When the kids were playing in the sand and the tuorist's came over to take the pictures of the kids...with our permission first. Then we were freaked out after....lol
Then a storm blew in so we left the beach.
On the way home we saw the sign FREE PUPPIES!! Well I had to back down the highway to get into the driveway. The kids played with the puppies, you picked out Aussie and we went to the Wetaskwin pet store to get food and toys for him. That was a supper fun day! I will write about the spagetti inceident later....
Gina <gparnell@telus.net>
Beaumont, - Thursday, November 10, 2005 10:39 AM CST

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Hey Buckie Boo It's raining outside and I thought of the time I was in wetaskiwin( before the monster cancer came),you and I went outside with our unbrella's,you with mine and I had your duck umbrella,we round and round your house singing songs and just enjoying the rain,You always loved the rain,jumping into puddles,just being a very happy little boy.I used my umbrella today ,the one you and Aidan gave me for mothers day right after your transplant.That means so much to me,I think of you every time I use and of course you know cause I always thank you for it.You came to me again last night in my dreams ,thanks.I miss you little man.I'll Love You Forever.nana
carol mercer <conaid@magma.ca>
- Wednesday, November 9, 2005 4:23 PM CST

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I wish that I had some memory to share with you, but unfortunatly I never had the opportunity to meet Conor. I will tell you that I didn't have to meet him in person to know what kind of boy he was or what he means to your family. How loved he is and what an inspiration he is to me and so many others. I will never forget him, his smile, his fight, his courage. I have no doubt that he gained all of that from you. Thinking of you always
Pam <lakenormanheat@yahoo.com>
Denver, NC USA - Wednesday, November 9, 2005 8:00 AM CST

---

I never had the chance to meet Conor in person, although I wish I had. I was driving to my doctor's office the night I heard about Conor on the radio. I was pregnant with my daughter, who is now 3, and as I was driving the announcer read your journal entry. It was the journal entry about the night Conor received his angel wings. When I got home, I found Conor's website through this radio station. I cried .. my heart ached for all of you. I could not understand how such a beautiful little boy had to be taken away from his family... why him? Why this little person with such a sparkle in his eye, such a beautiful smile, such a kind spirit. I have often signed the guest book, I always think of you .... think of Conor.... in some strange way I feel like I know him ......... some day I will... I will meet him and he will meet me ...... but until then he is a constant reminder to 'never give up'.
Heather <hbuchana@telus.net>
Calgary, - Tuesday, November 8, 2005 8:03 PM CST

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You are in my thoughts and prayers. I wish I knew Connor to share a memory with you, but I will say I am so touched by his short life. Thank you for sharing him with us. God Bless.
Lisa Hawk <Rolexh@aol.com ___ www.caringbridge.org/fl/aiden ____>
- Tuesday, November 8, 2005 3:04 PM CST

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Kristy,

I'm very touched by your entry of Nov 7. You have come a long way. I wish you could have experienced all of what Conor should have been. But, you're right. Conor is what he was. Does that make sense?

You wanted to hear a story about your little munchkin. You know, I only have one story about Conor as I had only met him (and you) once...at his consult/consent for the TBI in Calgary. I remember my colleague asking me to take Conor for a walk while Dr. Angyalfi spoke to you and Darren. I first took Conor to one of the treatment machines. He got to fool around with the buttons (phew, thank God no one was on the bed!) on the bed controls. He was easily bored with that despite the fantastic laser show I put on for him. So we went for a walk to the cow. That's one of the painted cows in the waiting room. He really wanted to climb up the cow so I lifted him up. Yep, he got bored again so we walked over to the staff room and low and behold there were cookies...free for the taking! It was, after all, after Christmas. He grabbed a few cookies. I tried to convince him to take some for his brother and parents. By the way, did you get any???

Just wanted to let you know that the cow is indeed still in its original colours, shape and position. I think of Conor everytime I walk past it.
Nancy Beauchemin <nancybea3@yahoo.com>
Calgary, AB Canada - Tuesday, November 8, 2005 1:16 AM CST

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Conor. After all that updating today mommy forgot to tell you about halloween! I had so much fun! Remember that year we stayed home and gave out candy? your last halloween? you were a witch because that what mommy was and everyone thought you were harry potter? that was so fun! Well thats kind of what we did this year. Except it was so warm out (well warm as in for the first year mommy can remember there was no snow or freezing rain!) mommy and i got dressed up and sat on the front step. I for some reason didn't want to wear my new very expenisive, i had to have it, and wore it everywhere for three days two weeks before halloween-captin hoook costume but instead wore my cute pirate costume mommy bought LAST year after halloween. go figure. Anyway the point is I was a very cute pirate. I wore that pirate hat I had when I was just a baby. Remember that? you wanted to play peter pan so mommy bought me a pirate hat, and made you a peter pan outfit and daddy was a pirate too and mommy was tinker bell and sometimes a lost boy? You used to keep a picture of me in your hospital room in that hat...
Well I looked cute. Did I menation that? Mommy on the other hand looked down. right. scary. She was a witch again. But this year she did some crazy stuff to her green face make up and it looked like green scaly witches skin falling off...if she wasn't in charge of all that chocolate I would've been scared enough to run away!
well it was so nice and so warm out that we sat on the front step, with all the light off and just lots of candles lit. Mommy had spooky music playing and I was loving it. My favorite part was when the kids would come up and I got to give them candy. But not the peanut butter cups for some reason. Mommy said to save those. Strangely I still haven't really seen any, just empty wrappers...
I'd get pretty anxious if there was a lag in trick or treaters and I would try my best to get more kids to come to our door. Once, when mommy wasn't watching I sat on the step with a little packet of chiclets gum and I shook it real loud. I could hear people across the street and I wanted them to know that I was holding some good candy. So I told them "I've got gum, who wants gum, come and geeettttt it, I'm gggooooonnnnnaaaa eat it. you better hurry!" heehee.
THEN. Mommy took me trick or treating and I got CANDY from other houses. THis halloween thing rocks let me tell you!
after we got home the girls showed up! and we went again. Only this time I took my blue sparkly star wand that brooklyn gave me and I told everyone that I was a pirate fairy. I looked good too!
After my second go for candy we came back here and ate lots of candy with the girls and then had some hot chocolate. They had to go early and do MORE trick or treating because it was still early for big kids. But me I was completely wiped out. It was so exauhsting dumping out the whole bag when I wanted one candy and then filling it up again, and dumping it out. I couldn't just put my hand in there, I had to see it ALL laid out in front of me!
so that was our spooky scary halloween conor. It was fun. But we all missed you. In fact on the way home, mommy, the girls and I all stopped and yelled really really loud "WE LOVE YOU CONOR" just so you would know we weren't forgetting about you.
I got mommy pretty good tonight too conor. I was playing quietly in my room (really I was) and mommy was on the computer. I walked up to her and climbed on her lap and said I love you mommy. and then to really get her going I said you are beautiful mommy. You are my heart. I love you.
All by myself. No one told me to say it. I just did it. boy did mommy get all weepy. Geezz. I thought she'd be happy! THEN I told her you told me how to say gorgeous. because I told her she was gorgeous too. SHe laughed pretty hard then and said where on earth did you hear that?? So I gave her my standard response. "from conor" mommy doesn't know what to think when I say that. Maybe you should talk to her so she doesn't think I'm making it up or something. Whatever. I love to say that now. Whatever.
Anyway conor. Mommy is getting sleepy. I am keeping her up. So I will say good night now. thanks for coming to me in my dreams. I miss you!!
your little buddy
aidan aka silly willy <willywillydoo@yahoo.ca>
wetaskiwin, - Tuesday, November 8, 2005 0:20 AM CST

---

Thinking of you all tonight........ always in my thoughts..
Heather <hbuchana@telus.net>
Calgary, - Monday, November 7, 2005 11:36 PM CST

---

Thinking of you all tonight........ always in my thoughts..
Heather <hbuchana@telus.net>
Calgary, - Monday, November 7, 2005 11:36 PM CST

---

Thinking of you all the time Kristy. Miss you on Oct99.


Lise
Toronto, - Monday, November 7, 2005 10:11 PM CST

---

I am glad you posted this song. I lost my son 3 years ago just 100 days out of transplant. The first time I read this song was on oct 3 when it was Adams 3 year anniversary of his passing. We went to the cematary and two of his best friends had left the lyrics there. The very next day I heard it on the radio for the first time. I sobbed and sobbed. It felt like the song was written for my son. He was 13 and I so wonder who he would be and who he would become.
You hit the nail on the head when you said how we continue to live for our other child. If I didnt have another child I dont know how I would survive.
Take care.
Ruth Trombino <ARTrombino@cox.net>
westerly, RI - Monday, November 7, 2005 8:24 PM CST

---

Thinking of you all.
Tasha Schumann
Castro VAlley, CA USA - Monday, November 7, 2005 3:25 PM CST

---

"Who You'd Be Today"
Kenny Chesney

Sunny days seem to hurt the most.
I wear the pain like a heavy coat.
I feel you everywhere I go.
I see your smile, I see your face,
I hear you laughin' in the rain.
I still can't believe you're gone.

It ain't fair: you died too young,
Like the story that had just begun,
But death tore the pages all away.
God knows how I miss you,
All the hell I've been through,
Just knowin' no-one could take your place.
An' sometimes I wonder,
Who'd you be today?

Would you see the world? Would you chase your dreams?
Settle down with a family,
I wonder what would you name your babies?
Some days the sky's so blue,
I feel like I can talk to you,
An' I know it might sound crazy.

It ain't fair: you died too young,
Like the story that had just begun,
But death tore the pages all away.
God knows how I miss you,
All the hell I've been through,
Just knowin' no-one could take your place.
An' sometimes I wonder,
Who you'd be today?

Sunny days seem to hurt the most.
I wear the pain like a heavy coat.
The only thing that gives me hope,
Is I know I'll see you again some day

--
- Monday, November 7, 2005 10:53 AM CST

---

kristy
please wirght soon
love you all lots
katie
katie <katrinemaygard@msn.com>
wetaskiwin, alberta canada - Friday, November 4, 2005 6:04 PM CST

---

Thinking about you today
Pam <lakenormanheat@yahoo.com>
Denver, nc usa - Friday, November 4, 2005 7:28 AM CST

---

Conor what a brave boy you where and I know you made your Mommy so prud.
I just found Conor Page throug a friend page and am so move by his stengh and his cute personallty.
I know you miss him so from one Mommy to another whom misses ther babies.
Always remember that are Angels are with us, in many differnt ways,
Keeping you all in our Prayers I hope you all Had a Happy Halloween!!!
with Gods Love and Peace!!!
www.caringbridge.org/tn/kayla
www.caringbridge.org/tn/mimmie
April and "Ange" Mikayla & Mimmie And Hunter Noah and Zach <babymsmom04@yahoo.com>
TN USA - Thursday, November 3, 2005 8:29 PM CST

---

kristy
please wright soon
love you all lots
love
katie
katie maygard <katrinemaygard@msn.com>
wetaskiwin, alberta canada - Thursday, November 3, 2005 11:01 AM CST

---

kristy
in language we were wrighting stories and i choose myn to be about conor and now my mom wants me to mail this story with a title page and so on about him to this yong wrighters thing for the paper and they might publish it into a book so i will give you a copy and i would like to ask you for permisson to use conor for this project because he inspired to me.
well i will talk to you later
got to go and do a slide show on photos we took together
love you aidan
well wright back later
bye
love katie
bye
katie maygard <katrinemaygard@msn.com>
wetaskiwin, alberta canada - Wednesday, November 2, 2005 2:34 PM CST

---

Just sitting here thinking about you guys....
Aidan, did you have fun trick or treating? I'm sure Conor was walking right beside you, helping you carry that bag of goodies!!
Enjoy that snow you're getting. Better you than me. LOL
It's going to be 60 here for the next couple of days. :O)

Marcia and the gang, HugABug http://fivegoofs.tripod.com <marciat@sympatico.ca>
- Wednesday, November 2, 2005 2:15 PM CST

---

kristy
please wright soon.
love you all
katie
p.s. it is snowing
will wright later
bye
katie <katrinemaygard@msn.com>
wetaskiwin, alberta canada - Wednesday, November 2, 2005 2:11 PM CST

---

I just came apon your site. I was so touched yesterday after I read his story, I laid in my bed all night thinking of you guys. I had to come on this morning to let you know that we are praying for you. Thank you for sharing your Angel with us to know and love. God Bless
Lisa Hawk <Rolexh@aol.com ____ www.caringbridge.org/fl/aiden ___>
- Wednesday, November 2, 2005 6:46 AM CST

---

hi
kristy please wright soon
love you all
katie
katie <katrinemaygard@msn.com>
wetaskiwin, alberta canada - Tuesday, November 1, 2005 4:34 PM CST

---

Thinking of you today as always. Hope Aidan had fun on Halloween! I hope Conor showed his presence to you in some way. Love coming here to see Conor's smile and hear your stories about him. But, it's hard coming here and feeling just a tiny bit of the tremenous pain you are feeling. All I can hope is that someday the memories will bring more smiles than tears. He is always with you. Thinking of you always.
Lisa <dldarakingsbury@msn.com>
Sandy, UT - Tuesday, November 1, 2005 9:16 AM CST

---

Thinking of you as always!
Suzanne <iamjsrc@gmail.com>
Nicholson, GA United States - Tuesday, November 1, 2005 6:45 AM CST

---

Happy Halloween Aidan.. hope you had fun trick or treating tonight ... and Conor I am sure you pulled some pranks! LOL!

Thinking of you all..
Heather <hbuchana@telus.net>
Calgary, - Monday, October 31, 2005 9:25 PM CST

---

Conor happy haloween
i miss you
and next year i want to be a trian
also last year there was a train there were two girls that were a train and i thought of you
i miss you at this time of year lots too because of the colour orange all around i am listening to the lalalalala song right now and i am thinking of you now too

Aidan i will be over tonight to go trick or treating with you tonight too aidan i love you and i am thinking how good of a captin hook you could be

kristy please wright soon

and

Darren stay warm will you are working lol
got no brain !!! lol



well i have to go now the bell is going to go soon


love you all
conor aidan kristy darren


love katie



p.s. HAPPY HALOWEEN ALL OF YOU OUT THERE
katie <katrinemaygard@msn.com>
wetaskiwin, alberta canada - Monday, October 31, 2005 3:09 PM CST

---

HAPPY HALLOWEEN ! LOVE YOU !!! THINK OF YOU ALWAYS .XXX,OOO
Don Pacholka ....Dad ,,Pop <d_pacholka@hotmail.com>
CBS, NL CANADA - Monday, October 31, 2005 12:11 AM CST

---

BOO!
Happy Halloween!
Have fun today guys, don't eat to much chocolate :)
Gina <gparnell@telus.net>
Beaumont, - Monday, October 31, 2005 10:58 AM CST

---

HI AIDAN,
I HOPE YOU HAVE A FUN TIME TRICK OR TREATING.WHAT ARE YOU DRESSING UP AS.

LOVE ALWAYS BRENDA My Loving Dad's Site <brurka@shaw.ca>
EDMONTON,ALBERTA CANADA, - Sunday, October 30, 2005 8:17 PM CST

---

Conor its so great to hear your voice missing u today of all days. i remember trick or treating with u

cassie <lulu_hawai@hotmail.com>
wetaskiwin, alb canada - Sunday, October 30, 2005 7:30 PM CST

---

kristy
please wright soon
love you aidan
got to go and babysit bye
i will come bye tommorrw
bye
love katie
katie <katrinemaygard@msn.com>
wetaskiwin, alberta canada - Saturday, October 29, 2005 6:51 PM CDT

---

kristy
please wright soon
love you all
katie
katie <katrinemaygard@msn.com>
wetaskiwin, alberta canada - Wednesday, October 26, 2005 6:38 PM CDT

---

Hi Little Man,I miss you so much,I look at your pictures ,touch the things you gave me over and over.Christmas is coming again soon and I will buy your Thomas Tree ornament,wish you were here to enjoy it.Not a day goes by wishing things could have been different.I'll Love You Forever.Nana
carol mercer <conaid@magma.ca>
- Wednesday, October 26, 2005 1:15 PM CDT

---

Yo Conor
I missed your birthday... again :-(. I'm sorry matey. Wussup with you up there. I hope you're having fun man. We miss you tons.
Happy Belated Birthday

See ya later
Stay cool
Leo & Lenka <goomba4ever@km.ru>
Irkutsk, Russia - Tuesday, October 25, 2005 11:29 PM CDT

---

please wright soon
love you conor
love katie maygard
katie maygard <katrinemaygard@msn.com>
wetaskiwin, alberta canada - Tuesday, October 25, 2005 2:28 PM CDT

---

Just stopped by to say hello and remind you that I'm praying for you. I hope things are going well. Everyone misses and loves you Conor!
Pam <lakenormanheat@yahoo.com>
Denver, NC USA - Tuesday, October 25, 2005 7:39 AM CDT

---

I forgot to post this on Conor's Birthday so I'm posting it now.Thinking of you always.

Today is My Birthday

Today is my birthday
Celebrate my life with you
And remember the good times
Not the bad and do not be sad;
Look up towards the sun
And catch every ray of light upon your cheek
For I am there with you.

Today is my birthday
Be happy for me
I lived a short but full, happy life
I had the pleasure of love
And the joy of my family
Do not be sad
Look up towards the stars
And catch each twinkle in your heart.
For I am there with you.

Today is my birthday
My legacy is not wealth or mighty belongings,
My legacy is you and your life.
Spend it wisely and carefully
Guard it always
Do not be sad
Feel the wind on your face and in your hair
And know that I loved you
For I am there with you,
in your laughter And in your hearts.

Today is my birthday
Learn to live again without me
Take my strength with you
For you are not alone.
Do not be sad
Feel the rain on your face
Feel all life's treasures and
Know that you are alive!
At each step of the way
I will help you
For I am with you always
Until we meet again.

Today is my birthday....
LOVE ALWAYS BRENDA My Loving Dad's Site <brurka@shaw.ca>
EDMONTON,ALBERTA CANADA, - Monday, October 24, 2005 9:23 PM CDT

---

Tiny Footprints

Before your lungs could breathe
and your eyes could see,
your little feet
were walking all over me.

Before you could crawl,
and even talk,
your little toes
took a walk.

They took a journey,
went far and wide.
They traveled to my soul
Where they now reside.

With every second that passes
they make another move.
With ever day that ends,
they dig another groove.

No matter how long or how far
we might be apart,
your tiny little footprints
are all over my heart.
LOVE ALWAYS BRENDA My Loving Dad's Site <brurka@shaw.ca>
EDMONTON,ALBERTA CANADA, - Friday, October 21, 2005 11:40 PM CDT

---

Thinking of you guys always. Robbies birthday is always so bittersweet, thinking of those who should be here with us. We made birthday wishes for you Conor, mine were that Mommy and Daddy and Aidan would be ok, Robbies were that we would have enough money to come to Canada to see your Mommy and Daddy :)
Love always
Angela Ainsley and Robbie <anggovan@aol.com>
Hawick, Scotland - Friday, October 21, 2005 6:05 PM CDT

---

I came across this site, and everything that you have written that I have read has truly touched me. I don't know how I would go on after losing one of my children, and yet you have somehow found the strength to go on...I really commend you on that...I want to wish you and the rest of your family the best.
Marcee H. <missm141@msn.com>
Calgary, Ab Canada - Friday, October 21, 2005 3:35 PM CDT

---

Conor, I'm here again. I haven't been here very often because things have just gotten too sad in the last year and sometimes I think my heart can't take it. I can't understand so many things, but I understand that I have been blessed to have known you in such a small way, that now I can see the important things. Sending my love.....
Susan <sooze1mercer@hotmail.com>
- Friday, October 21, 2005 12:17 AM CDT

---

I can't get you guys out of my mind, not that I want to. Every thing I do, I wonder what you are doing. How you are getting through the day. Reading your words to Conor is so touching and so painful. Just to think about how much you miss him is unbearably painful. Does time heal? I certainly hope it gets more bearable, that the good memories bring more smiles than tears. Conor knows that you are doing what you have to do to get through each day. Thinking of you today and always.
Lisa Kingsbury <dldarakingsbury@msn.com>
Sandy, UT - Thursday, October 20, 2005 1:38 PM CDT

---

Hey guys,

Been thinking about you a lot this week. I let Claudia break the rules and wear her orange bracelet to school this week. She promised to only talk about Conor during circle sharing time and at recess with people who asked her about it so that she wouldn't get it taken away. She sent birthday wishes up to Conor on Tuesday. And sang Happy Birthday very loudly up toward the heavens.

I hope you guys are doing well. Will try to give you a call again sometime soon, Kristy. Give Aidan a smooch from me.

Love you,
Stacey Suire <stacey@nbta-eng.com>
Baton Rouge, LA USA - Thursday, October 20, 2005 11:35 AM CDT

---

Dear Conor,
We share a birthday! Yesterday, when the cake came and I saw the candles lit I got a little choked up because I was thinking of you. I made a wish for both of us. I hope it comes true!
Today in History:
1890: John Owen became the first man to run the 100-yard dash in under 10 seconds.
1967: Walt Disney's "Jungle Book" was released.
1979: "Beatlemania" opened in London.

Our horoscope for our birthday:
What a partner or associate says or does is in direct conflict with what you feel needs to happen. Sometimes you need to let others see the end results of your actions rather than put in your two cents. Everyone learns best from experience.

Happy Birthday Conor!
Norma Rems <normateresa@yahoo.com>
Castro Valley, CA - Wednesday, October 19, 2005 9:46 PM CDT

---

Conor, you were in my thoughts all week but especially yesterday. I can't believe you would have been 6, wow!! I'm sorry i didn't write yesterday, i had to go visit my pop for a couple days, he was pretty sick. But the best part of my visit was the plane ride home, i was flying above the clouds the sky was bright blue and the clouds were fluffy, you were in my thoughts the entire time. I Love You and i miss you, Glenda
glenda <glendaroche@ns.sympatico.ca>
- Wednesday, October 19, 2005 6:44 PM CDT

---

Happy Birthday in Heaven Conor.We love and miss you lots.
Hope you like the balloons we sent you.


Jason,Tristan and Felicity.My Loving Dad's Site <brurka@shaw.ca>
EDMONTON,ALBERTA CANADA, - Wednesday, October 19, 2005 0:35 AM CDT

---

conor
love you and sweet dreams
you too aidan
love katie
p.s. you both stink
katie <katrinemaygard@msn.com>
wetaskiwin, alberta canada - Tuesday, October 18, 2005 10:43 PM CDT

---

conor
good night my sweet angel
i miss you so much
i just want to break down and cry
this year it is really getting to me
you gone and not being hear and me missing
and now crying as i wright this
i miss you so much
i just wonder what you would have looked like and how good of a big brother you were to aidan and so on
i miss you
good night
have fun in heaven i will send you some balloons soon
i love you
and all i want to do is see you and hug you
and play trains and watch movies
i love you and i miss you more than ever
i want you back
i would haved gived my life and i would have done anything for you just to see you grow old and have kids
i love you so much
i want to see you in my dreams and i want to see you when i am at school and i want to see you right now and this is to much to ask because stupid cancer and stupid everything that could have harmed you
i just met you and then all of a sudden you get sick stuff
in your body then we have a few good laughts and then you go and leave because there was an error in life that cancer
was made and it was one of the worst things in life and
then so many things have gone wrong today my teeth hurt i still have home work and i is 9:30 and my princable was giveing me a hard time and the teacher was giving me a hard time and i am tired and my ear hurts and so on
i just wish you were here
because if you were here then you would have made it better and you would have told me it would have been ok and
then we would just go and play trains and watch some movies
i want you back in this earth even though god and heaven are way better but i want so much i will give up everything just for you
well i love you so much
katie
maygard
i wish you were here
love you
and will never forget
katie maygard <katrinemaygard@msn.com>
wetaskiwin, alberta canada - Tuesday, October 18, 2005 10:40 PM CDT

---

Just stopping in to let you know I am thinking of you all on Conor's birthday. Sending hugs to you all!
Tracy Eckhardt(Hug A Bug) and Christopher <teckhardt@sympatico.ca>
Kitchener, ON Canada - Tuesday, October 18, 2005 10:17 PM CDT

---

Happy Birthday in Heaven Conor
Hugs and prayers to those he left behind
Chris Gooch's mom
- Tuesday, October 18, 2005 10:00 PM CDT

---

Kristy, My thoughts are for you today. There is nothing as precious as our first born babies... Sending you lots of hugs and tissue for your tears.

Thinking of you all on Conor's Birth Day.
Carolyn
GP, - Tuesday, October 18, 2005 9:44 PM CDT

---

kristy
please call me about conor's birthday
love you all lots
i will come over tommorrow night proble.
love you conor
love kayla
kayla <kaylamaygard@msn.com>
wetaskiwin, alberta canada - Tuesday, October 18, 2005 8:35 PM CDT

---

Just wanted to let you all know I'm thinking of you today, and always. Happy Birthday Conor!!!
Erin *HugABug* <erin_suddick@hotmail.com>
Bradford, ON - Tuesday, October 18, 2005 8:13 PM CDT

---

Conor Michael Ford...

I don’t know if anyone ever told you this but on the day you were born we were just down the hall waiting patiently for you to come into this world. We were blessed to be able to see you and hold you just minutes after you were born and it is a moment that we will cherish and remember forever but especially on this your birthday.

We had a balloon release on our back deck this evening just for you and all your little friends. It was a big silver helium balloon with a multi-coloured clown face on it…when we saw it in the store we just knew it was you. Your nan cried as we watched it slowly drift up into the sky and out over the rooftops.

Hope you like it…Happy Birthday Grandson!



Nan & Pop <bford49@eastlink.ca>
Dartmouth, NS - Tuesday, October 18, 2005 7:57 PM CDT

---

Thinking of you on this day and always. Happy Birthday little man!!!
Jamie Carman <thecarmans@annapolis.com>
Gulfport, MS USA - Tuesday, October 18, 2005 6:57 PM CDT

---

conor
i miss you today me and my sisters would be at your house playing trains with you. i feel sad that you are not with me i makes me feel sad i do not feel like doing nothing i have homework too but i really don't want to do it right now all i want to do is read about you and know more i just fell like offering my body for cancer and getting you back to life for your mom and dad and you little brother that needs you. i just want to play with you and see you feel you. i thought that you were with me when i was walking to your house i thought that you were holding my hand but then when i lookes no one was looking up at me and smiling and saying did you have a good day at school and what is that in your binder so on. i miss you so much and i want to die for you to come back and be alive for my sisters and your mom and dad and mostly aidan whitch constatly talks about you too. when i am at your house i feel you and then when i was at the hospital yesterday viseting kayla i could feel you and i wished that you were there but when i come back to reality i look around and see that you are not there and i wish that you were. when i walk down the hallway on my way to show allison what the toy room looked like and i was just like expecting you to be there but you wern't and i breaks my heart to know that you are there in my broken heart my not in my presents to see. i just want to see you and know that you are at home eating cake and trying to pop balloons and watch and playing with the new thomas stuff you would have now owned by today all the new tomas stuff that aidan owns and wants to share with you but still calles them his i see you in aidans eyes and what he wears the way he runs and walks and play with the bouncy balls i love him so much and i see you in him that is why i love him so much i think. well conor i miss you and i want you to come and viset me in my dreams also this only way that i got passed going trough the dentest yesterday was because i was thinking about you and how much you went through and you made me look like barney hahahahh
well i got to go and start on my homework and think about you more
lov you lots
and i miss you

love
katie maygard
love you baby
and i miss you
so much
p.s. we still hate barney don't worry and i am going to through allisons barney at her so bye
love you
katie
maygard
p.s.s.
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAABBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY ACCORDING TO AIDAN
LOVE YOU
KATIE
katie <katrinemaygard@msn.com>
wetaskiwin, alberta canada - Tuesday, October 18, 2005 6:17 PM CDT

---

Happy Birthday little man.
Cassandra <cmraven@msn.com>
Albuquerque, NM - Tuesday, October 18, 2005 6:11 PM CDT

---

PRECIOUS CHILD

Words and Music by Karen Taylor-Good

In my dreams, you are alive and well
Precious child, precious child
In my mind, I see you clear as a bell
Precious child, precious child
In my soul, there is a hole
That can never be filled
But in my heart, there is hope
'Cause you are with me still

In my heart, you live on
Always there never gone
Precious child, you left too soon
Tho' it may be true that we're apart
You will live forever... in my heart

In my plans, I was the first to leave
Precious child, precious child
But in this world, I was left here to grieve
Precious child, my precious child

In my soul, there is a hole
That can never be filled
But in my heart there is hope
And you are with me still

In my heart you live on
Always there, never gone
Precious child, you left too soon,
Tho' it may be true that we're apart
You will live forever... in my heart

God knows I want to hold you,
See you, touch you
And maybe there's a heaven
And someday I will again
Please know you are not forgotten until then


In my heart you live on
Always there never gone
Precious child, you left too soon
Tho' it may be true that we're apart
You will live forever... in my heart

Background Music - "Precious Child" - Karen Taylor-Good
Photo © Joyce Andrews;


nana <conaid@magma.ca>
- Tuesday, October 18, 2005 4:30 PM CDT

---

Thinking of you all today.. Kristy I don't know how you manage to write those journals when I can never bear to read an entire entry. Love you.
Krystal Hobbs <msmachine@hotmail.com>
St. John's, Newfoundland, - Tuesday, October 18, 2005 4:25 PM CDT

---

conor happy sixth birthday
today would be the day that we would come to your house and eat lots of cake and play with balloons but then you would have to go to school tommorrow and play games with your new friends. i wish that you never had have cancer i miss you so much. well i just wanted to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY CONOR
I MISS YOU love you baby
katie maygard
katie maygard <katrinemaygard@msn.com>
wetaskiwin, alberta canada - Tuesday, October 18, 2005 3:38 PM CDT

---

Happy Birthday Sweet Angel.

Joleen : )
Joleen Trudel (HAB) <jtrudel@telus.net>
Edmonton, AB - Tuesday, October 18, 2005 2:29 PM CDT

---

http://www.compassionatefriends.org/precious_child.htm
nana <conaid@magma.ca>
- Tuesday, October 18, 2005 1:55 PM CDT

---

Conor, today is the day that your mother brought your beautiful body and soul into this world, and it is the day that you began to bring so many blessings to everyone who knew you and even those who never did. There are so many beautiful things to celebrate, on this, your birth day, and yet, it is impossible not to feel the pain of all that was lost when you left this world. My heart aches for all that you never experienced and for all the pain that this day can not help but bring to the mother and father who loved you more than their own lives. It is such a strange paradox to feel the fullness of the life you lived along with the emptiness that your death left us all, but in the end, the light always fills the darkness, and the gifts of your life can not be taken away by the sadness that is ever-present. We love you, Conor, and we always will. We will never let the day of your birth go uncelebrated- or the loss go unmourned. Sadly, they will always be intertwined, and yet, still so precious!
Allison, Bill, Benjamin, and Harrison <aotaylor@gmail.com>
Atlata, Ga USA - Tuesday, October 18, 2005 1:42 PM CDT

---

Conor wishing you a Happy 6th Birthday in Heaven today. Kristy, Darren and Aiden, I hope you get through the day knowing that many people are thinking of you today.

Heather (HAB)
Heather (Hug a Bug) <hmaini5566@rogers.com>
Mississauga, ON - Tuesday, October 18, 2005 12:19 AM CDT

---

Hello my Precious Grandson,Such a mixture of feelings today,I remember when mommy called the day you were born,I heard you cry and I couldn't wait to get to NL so I could see you.I wish I could jump on an airplane now and come to visit you and play .Miss you so much,I keep thinking what you would be doing today ,all excited,ripping open your gifts,blowing out the birthday candles,all your new friends at school would be there,what thomas toy would've I sent,cause I know you would have given me a call to let me know.Wishing you were here and missing you s o very much.I will light the candle tonight (you gave me)and send you 6 balloons ,all of your favorites.I'll Love You Forever.Nana
carol mercer <conaid@magma.ca>
- Tuesday, October 18, 2005 11:56 AM CDT

---

Happy Birthday, Conor!

I'm thinking about you and your Mommy and Daddy and Aidan today! I know they miss you sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much and they love you even more!!!!!!!!!!!
Suzanne <iamjsrc@gmail.com>
Nicholson, GA United States - Tuesday, October 18, 2005 11:39 AM CDT

---

Happy Birthday, Conor! Hope you get all the balloons and kisses and sweet thoughts that are being sent your way today. Please let your mommy and daddy and Aidan know you are here with them, they are so sad, they miss you so much.
Kristy, nothing much that I could say. Your message to Conor is so beautiful. I am so so sad for you and your family. The heartache is unbearable to even imagine. I never met any of you and I can't stop the tears. It's okay to be sad today, he should be here celebrating with you. He has a beautiful life to celebrate, it is all in your heart and your memories. I'll be sending you hugs and peace at 8:32 tonight.
Lisa Kingsbury <dldarakingsbury@msn.com>
Sandy, UT - Tuesday, October 18, 2005 11:12 AM CDT

---

Just thinking of you today ...
Connie (Hug A Bug) <Bogeymama2000@yahoo.ca>
Calgary, Alberta - Tuesday, October 18, 2005 10:36 AM CDT

---

Happy birthday in Heaven, Conor. I'm sending extra thoughts and prayers for your family today.
Briana Roehling
Pflugerville, TX - Tuesday, October 18, 2005 10:34 AM CDT

---

Happy Birthday Conor. Let your mommy and daddy know your okay, and Aidan too. I bet your having a great birthday in heaven, Im sure of it!
Becky
OH - Tuesday, October 18, 2005 8:17 AM CDT

---

Hello, Kristy, Darren and Aidan
Today is a big day for you guys. We will be thinking of you. Brooklyn wishes Conor a Happy Birthday and so do I. Kristy I know you will do what your heart tells you today. I am glad you are all going to be together today.
Gina <gparnell@telus.net>
Beaumont, - Tuesday, October 18, 2005 8:05 AM CDT

---

Happy Birthday Conor!!!!!

Kristi Schoolfield <snickles999@yahoo.com>
Flint, Mi - Tuesday, October 18, 2005 7:28 AM CDT

---

Remembering the bravest of boys on his birthday, and sending my best to his family.
Tracy M Hug a Bug <tmangin@sympatico.ca>
Windsor, ON Canada - Tuesday, October 18, 2005 7:11 AM CDT

---

Happy Birthday, Precious Conor!
We are missing you lots. (((((((HUGS)))))))


Krithiga, Subhas, Surina and Arjun
- Tuesday, October 18, 2005 1:49 AM CDT

---

Happy Birthday Connor. Thoughts and prayers to Mommy and Daddy and Aidan today. Hope you have a big cake up there in heaven!
Jennifer Kaas <kaas@uwindsor.ca>
Windsor, ON Canada - Tuesday, October 18, 2005 0:17 AM CDT

---

i just don't want to go to bed tonight baby. i know if I go to sleep, when I wake up it will be your birthday but you won't be there. there will be no jumping up and down on the bed, no cake for breakfast, no presents to rush downstairs to open...I don't want tomrrow to come. Six years ago today I couldn't wait for tomrrow. I knew that if you didn't decide to come on your own by the 18th, my doctor wanted to 'help' you out...and I knew that you'd be arriving 'tomrrow'. I couldn't sleep then either. I want to freeze time so that tomrrow doesn't happen,so that i neve have to know another year without you. I want to turn back time and freeze it, so its oct.17, 1999 and you are stil safe and warm and snuggled inside me and I am laying in my bed with my arms on my belly singing to you. as I write this, I think even that wouldn've kept you safe, and I would never have know the joy of knowing you had that happened. I'd have never held you, kissed you, felt you drink from my breast, felt your cold feet on my legs, smelt your warm milkly breath and held your soft hand. I would've never heard your laugh or seen your amazing grin and incredible eyes. I'd have never seen your hold your little brother and love him like no one else...I wish, I want, so much that will never be. I love you baby. I miss you billy. Did I tell you today? I love you.
I can't bring myself to say happy birthday. I can't bring myself to celebrate all the wonderful things about you, about the day you were born...but I know you know why I can't. How I need to just be sad right now and miss you and need you and long for you. How I need to be angry and mad and pissed off that you aren't here. How I need to just grieve for all you won't be or ever become. I know you know.

mommy
- Monday, October 17, 2005 11:53 PM CDT

---

Happy Birthday Conor!!
It's the 18th October here right now - a beautiful sun-shiney day :) It'll be a few more hours until your mum & dad and Aidan wake up in Canada though. I hope the day is not too sad for them. I hope they spend the day remembering all the funny, wonderful things you did on your birthdays - like having a party with the nurses and driving all the neighbourhood girls around in your cool car!! I'm sure you'll be there with them Conor.
Happy birthday darling.
Ali, Gerry, Harry and Sofi Green <aligreen@optusnet.com.au>
Melbourne, Vic AUSTRALIA - Monday, October 17, 2005 11:33 PM CDT

---

Kristy, Darren and Aidan, thinking of you on Conor's 6th birthday. I'm sure he'll be sitting right beside you at the table, blowing out some special birthday candles as you sing. Sending big birthday hugs to all of you.
Love,
Marcia and the gang, HugABug http://fivegoofs.tripod.com <marciat@sympatico.ca>
- Monday, October 17, 2005 11:20 PM CDT

---

October 18

Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday dear CONOR,
Happy Birthday to YOU!

Thinking of you all....
Heather <hbuchana@telus.net>
Calgary, AB - Monday, October 17, 2005 8:53 PM CDT

---

thinking of you all this week.
Rachel
Mariposa, CA USA - Monday, October 17, 2005 3:46 PM CDT

---

Dear family, I am thinking of you, as always, as Conors birthday gets nearer. I´ve already bought balloons, that the girls and I will let go into the sky in his honour tomorrow. Love from Iceland,

Eva Huld and the girls.
Eva Huld. <evahuld@kerfisveita.is>
Hafnarfjordur. , Iceland. - Monday, October 17, 2005 1:26 PM CDT

---

Conor!Thinking of you always;especially now.Miss you .xxx,ooo
Don Pacholka....Pop <d_pacholka@hotmail.com>
CBS, NL CANADA - Monday, October 17, 2005 1:10 PM CDT

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Dear Kristy, Darren, Aidan: I am thinking about you and your dear angel as it is his birthday tomorrow. I'm sure he will smiling down on you throughout the day.
God Bless,
Kecia
Kecia Murphy <kecia@comcast.net>
Glen Ellyn, IL 60137 - Monday, October 17, 2005 1:02 PM CDT

---

Dear Kristy, Darren and Aidan and of course precious Conor,
I just wanted to drop by and say hello and let you know we (me and the other 'October Moms') are thinking of you LOTS and I just wanted to send you all a big hug, especially for Conor's birthday. I know it must be an extremely difficult time so I wanted to make sure you knew we all love you and are supporting you from the sidelines! {{{{HUGS}}}}

Happy Birthday Conor for October 18th!!! Please say hello to my precious Jasmine...she would have turned 8 in April. Please give her a hug from me and here's another one for you! {{{Jasmine}}}} {{{Conor}}}



Love Mim and family.
Keith, SA Australia - Saturday, October 15, 2005 8:14 PM CDT

---

Lovely entry, Kristy. Thinking of you all, always.
Lori
www.caringbridge.org/canada/lyza
Lori Grainger <graingersrus@sasktel.net>
Lloydminster, SK Canada - Friday, October 14, 2005 6:30 PM CDT

---

Sweet Conor,
I miss you little buddy.I think about you all the time.I look at your picture's and seeing that smile on your face puts one on mine but also breaks it to for I will never see that precious smile of yours again.I know that your Heavenly Birthday will be fun with all the Angels.I know you will be playing and dancing.I also know that you have other amazing Angels up there with you to help you with your special day.Justin is so missed down here too along with my Dad and all the other's but that is why I know your Birthday will be extra special with all those special Angels who are there to share it with you.I know I'm early but I want to let you know that I will be thinking of you on your Birthday and we are going to send you up some balloons too.So Happy Heavenly 6th Birthday Sweety.I love you.I know you will be with your Mommy,Daddy and Aidain on your special day like you always are in spirit.

LOVE ALWAYS BRENDA My Loving Dad's Site <brurka@shaw.ca>
EDMONTON,ALBERTA CANADA, - Thursday, October 13, 2005 7:42 PM CDT

---

What a wonderful treasure to have your sweet boys voice on tape, thank you for sharing it with us, he sounds adorable. God bless you
www.caringbridge.org/ca/nikicamarena
Sally Torres <sally_torres@lusknet.com>
Anaheim, ca - Thursday, October 13, 2005 2:39 PM CDT

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Happy Belated Thanksgiving!

It is so great to hear Conor's voice and his picture on the front page....what a handsome boy. Thinking of you tonight ....
Heather <hbuchana@telus.net>
Calgary, - Wednesday, October 12, 2005 11:00 PM CDT

---

Hi Baby ,Hearing your little voice brings back so many treasured memories.I miss you so much.Thanks for coming in my dream the other night,I can still feel your touch on my hand.I can't remember much of the dream,but I felt your hand.Come and hold my hand anytime you want,it felt so good.I'll Love You Forever.Nana
carol mercer <conaid@magma.ca>
- Wednesday, October 12, 2005 1:46 PM CDT

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Conor's letter
>.
mom
- Monday, October 10, 2005 11:37 PM CDT

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Happy Thanksgiving! I hope you had a great day. I keep missing conor's voice on the page. Do I have to click on something. I would love to hear it!

Chris <canadiansweety2003@hotmail.com>
Red Deer, - Monday, October 10, 2005 10:51 PM CDT

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Happy Turkey Day!!
I am glad you came for dinner! Your pie was awesome!! Brooklyn loved it! I love the new picture of Conor. He was so Handsome. Give Aidan a squish for us :0)
Gina
Beaumont, - Monday, October 10, 2005 9:27 PM CDT

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Just stopping in to wish you a Happy Thanksgiving.
Tracy Eckhardt (Hug A Bug) <teckhardt@sympatico.ca>
- Monday, October 10, 2005 6:45 PM CDT

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Thinking of you on this Thanksgiving Day...
Marcia and the gang, HugABug http://fivegoofs.tripod.com <marciat@sympatico.ca>
- Monday, October 10, 2005 2:32 PM CDT

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hi
kristy
the new picture on the front page is beautiful i love it i miss him so much 9 days till his birthday and i wish he was here
well i gtg
hope you have a great thanks giveing love you lotsa
love ya aidan
love katie
katie maygard <katrinemaygard@msn.com>
wetaskiwin, alberta canada - Sunday, October 9, 2005 10:09 AM CDT

---

Kristy,
I love the new picture on the main page.It absolutely Beautiful.Seeing Conor's wonderful smile put tears in my eyes.Thinking of you always.Hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving.
Love Always BRENDA My Loving Dad's Site <brurka@shaw.ca>
EDMONTON,ALBERTA CANADA, - Sunday, October 9, 2005 2:34 AM CDT

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I didn't realize Conor's voice was on this page, it's so good to hear it, i haven't really heard his voice.
It's ... wonderful.
Joey English <afrojoe11@hotmail.com>
Mount Pearl, NL Canada - Saturday, October 8, 2005 8:39 PM CDT

---

hi conor
i am babysitting the babyies are sleeping right now
i miss you so much your pop is sending some pictures of us when he was there the last christmas
i remember and i miss you so much well i gtg
talking on msn with some of my friends and they are waiting for me to wright back
so i love you and i need another dream of you soon to remind me of our special times
i love you
katie
p.s. you stink
lol.
katie <katrinemaygard@msn.com>
wetaskiwin, alberta canada - Thursday, October 6, 2005 9:40 PM CDT

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Hi Kristy,
I visit Conor's site once in a while. I just wanted you to know that I think of you often. Hugs.
Carol Drasak <maxandnoahsmom@yahoo.ca>
Edmonton, AB Canada - Thursday, October 6, 2005 1:09 AM CDT

---

I only met you for one day Conor, But that's all it took. It made a big impact on my life. I find myself thinking of you often, what it would've been like to get to know you....But we will meet again.
Joey English <afrojoe11@hotmail.com>
Mount Pearl, NL Canada - Wednesday, October 5, 2005 7:49 PM CDT

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Hi Kristy,
I hope you are doing well and that you enjoyed your time away. Do you think you could put conor's voice back on here. I missed it and would LOVE to hear it.
Think of your family often
Crystal
Red Deer, - Wednesday, October 5, 2005 2:19 PM CDT

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Keeping you close in our hearts...
Good-night sweet prince!
Nan & Pop
Dartmouth, NS - Tuesday, October 4, 2005 9:19 PM CDT

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Kristy,
I like you background "music"! What an inventive way to show you that sunflower...
Hugs,
Lena {HugABug} <lena_butler@yahoo.ca>
Jasper, AB - Thursday, September 29, 2005 1:01 AM CDT

---

Correction: Brandon, Jordan, & Seth's Mom ~ www.caringbridge.org/de/brandonhastings ~ I forgot to put the s on the end. sorry
Dawn Wagamon Hastings <dawn@itntnet.com>
Miford, DE - Wednesday, September 28, 2005 8:10 PM CDT

---

This is actually the first time I am signing your site. I have come hear often in the last year I believe. I was so moved by what you wrote in this last entry. I was in tears by the time I got to the end. I know that thought, that desire, that wish, that smell that reminds me of my Brandon. How I myself can not believe that my heart continues to actually be able to beat in the midst of this horrible pain. Enough about me, I just wanted you to know that I share in your journey, and that your words and love for your son moved me this evening and I HAD to say so. I KNOW that he is a tremendously, wonderfuly, fantastically, Marvelous, INCREDIBLE SON! It shows.
Love, Dawn Wagamon Hastings ~ Brandon, Jordan, & Seth's Mom ~ www.caringbridge.org/de/brandonhasting <dawn@itntnet.com>
Milford, DE - Wednesday, September 28, 2005 8:07 PM CDT

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hi conor
i thought that was aidans voice at first and then i thought no that is conor i could tell i miss you so much. i think that a waspt stung me on my nose it hurts so much i miss you aidan picked me up from school yesterday he looks so much like you when my friends see the pics of you i have and then they see you they said that aidan looks just like you and that every story i tell them abought you aidan usually re-does it to them they can tell that you are in hem and you loved and carred abought him sooo much i miss you so much. when ever i go to sleep i think of you and sometimes it calmes me down but then sometimes they make me upset. i miss you so much well i am going to have to get going because i am baby sittin so babies jokes some kids.
i miss you
come in my dreams some time soon i love you
love you lots
katie maygard aka silly lilly
miss you want to kiss and love you to much that any one knows any way love you
miss you
katie maygard aka silly lilly <katrinemaygard@msn.com>
wetaskiwin , alberta canada - Wednesday, September 28, 2005 7:13 PM CDT

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Hello Kristy and Family,

I recently moved to Calgary from St. John's Newfoundland, where I had been reading your journal for a long time. When I saw Wetaskiwin on the map during our drive accross Alberta I immediately thought about your family, and Conor. I am glad that Conor has found ways to let you know he's with you all the time.


Elizabeth <elizabethmpayne@hotmail.com>
Calgary, AB Canada - Wednesday, September 28, 2005 3:14 PM CDT

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Hi, just wanted to say hi, what a treat to here conors voice. His voice always brought a smile to my face, i needed that today. Love Glenda
glenda <glendaroche@ns.sympatico.ca>
- Tuesday, September 27, 2005 7:31 PM CDT

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Thinking of you tonight......
Heather <hbuchana@telus.net>
Calgary, - Monday, September 26, 2005 11:29 PM CDT

---

Hi Baby,I too have a sunflower story.I must have planted 10 or more seeds and as soon as they came up the squirrels would eat them ,I was so disappointed.Well last week I was in the front clearing out all the flowers that are finished for the summer,all of a sudden something caught my eye.Hiding behind the tree peeking out was a Sunflower,its about 6 feet tall,it was mixed in with some blackeyed susans,I was so surprised(stund actually)then I realized you were saying hello again.Whenever I get sad you always manage to let me know you're still around.From the white rose ,the butterfly,the birds,my windchime,the messages are there and I cherish eveyone and never doubt you.Theres a commercial on tv with a little girl and her dad,they are talking about a grilled cheese sandwich,at the end she says "did you know that dad"everytime I see her I think of you remembering you saying to your mom with your head tilted and your eyes so wide,"Did you Know that Mom".I miss you so much.I'll Love You Forever.Nana
carol mercer <conaid@magma.ca>
- Monday, September 26, 2005 9:43 AM CDT

---

I love hearing Conor's voice on here and Aidain's.The I love You near the end was so cute.You have many memories of Conor and I'm glad.I just adding Dad singing Happy Birthday to Tristan on my page a few days ago.It's so nice to hear our loved ones voices.I wish I had my Dad on video saying I love you.I might somewhere but who knows where.Well just letting you know too that your always in my thoughts and I think of you all everyday.
Love Always BRENDA My Loving Dad's Site <brurka@shaw.ca>
EDMONTON,ALBERTA CANADA, - Monday, September 26, 2005 1:10 AM CDT

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My job took me to Wetaskiwin today. A beautiful fall drive from Edmonton on HWY 2A. When I saw that water tower, my eyes filled with tears....

I will always remember the four of you, though we've never met.

Wishing you peace...
Suzanna <sue_la_loo@canada.com>
- Sunday, September 25, 2005 7:48 PM CDT

---

Hi there. I love that little clip. I still have the one you sent me like that. I listened to it over and over just to hear the part where he says "you have sumpin to say?" I love that part! Everytime I see a butterfly in an unexpected place, a beautiful sunset with red orange pink and purple or a rainbow I immediately think of Conor and figure he has to have something to do with it.
Cassandra <cmraven@msn.com>
Albuquerque, NM - Saturday, September 24, 2005 10:28 PM CDT

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Thanks for putting Conors and Aidan voices on here! What a nice sound, the little I love you from Conor was the best!
Gina
Beaumont, - Saturday, September 24, 2005 8:44 AM CDT

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Kristy, that is the BEST background "music" I have heard yet! How precious to hear the voices of your wee
men. :)
You know how I feel about the signs. I am smiling thinking of Conor waiting for Aidan with you, leaving you that flower, and making the box fall to make you aware of it. He is always with you!
Marcia and the gang, HugABug http://fivegoofs.tripod.com <marciat@sympatico.ca>
- Saturday, September 24, 2005 8:13 AM CDT

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I hope things are going well. Sending prayers your way. Everyone misses you Conor!
Pam <lakenormanheat@yahoo.com>
Denver, NC USA - Friday, September 23, 2005 8:28 AM CDT

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Hi Kristy! Just wanted you to know I've been thinking about you. I was doing a TBI a couple of weeks ago and I couldn't help but remember the time I met Conor at the Tom Baker Cancer Centre. Gosh, he was so full of energy! I wish we could have met under different circumstances.

Take care of yourself, Kristy.

Love,

Nancy Beauchemin <nancybea33@yahoo.com>
Calgary, AB Canada - Friday, September 23, 2005 0:23 AM CDT

---

Missing you Conor,

LOVE JASON <jasonrules_2@hotmail.com>
EDMONTON,ALBERTA CANADA, - Sunday, September 18, 2005 6:39 PM CDT

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Just thinking about you guys...
Marcia and the gang, HugABug http://fivegoofs.tripod.com <marciat@sympatico.ca>
- Saturday, September 17, 2005 9:22 PM CDT

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Kristy,
I found a picture of Jason and Conor today.Once I scann it I will send it to you.Thinking of you always.
Love Always Brenda My Loving Dad's Site <brurka@shaw.ca>
EDMONTON,ALBERTA CANADA, - Saturday, September 17, 2005 3:21 AM CDT

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Thinking of you always.I hope you are having a good time in Atlanta.
Love Always My Loving Dad's Site <brurka@shaw.ca>
EDMONTON,ALBERTA CANADA, - Wednesday, September 14, 2005 10:15 PM CDT

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Hi My Sweet Little Man,I miss you so much.I'll Love You Forever.Nana
carol mercer <conaid@magma.ca>
- Wednesday, September 14, 2005 2:18 PM CDT

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Hi, I just wanted to let you know that I'm still here and check on you daily. Conor is in my thoughts everyday. He is missed by so many.
Pam <lakenormanheat@yahoo.com>
Denver, NC USA - Tuesday, September 13, 2005 2:28 PM CDT

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I just wanted to drop by and say Hi...
I think of your family often and hope that you had a great weekend...

Take care,

Tammy,
Proud Mom to:
^j^ Zoe
"HRHS"
7-20-1999 to 9-5-2004



~Forever Dancing And Flying Free Within Our Hearts~

Zoe's web page:

www.zoesequoia.bravehost.com

And Zurik ~My Little Earth Angel~ born 11-18-04





Ask My Mom How She is

My Mom, she tells a lot of lies
she never did before.
From now until she dies,
she'll tell a whole lot more.
Ask my Mom how she is
and because she can't explain,
She will tell a little lie
because she can't describe the pain.
Ask my Mom how is she,
She'll say "I'm alright."
If that's the truth, then tell me,
why does she cry each night?
Ask my Mom how is she,
she seems to cope so well.
She didn't have a choice you see
nor the strength to yell.
Ask my Mom how she is,
"I'm fine, I'm well, I'm coping."
For Gods sake Mom, just tell the truth
just say your heart is broken.
She'll love me all her life,
I loved her all of mine.
But if you ask her how is she
she'll lie and say she's fine.
I am here in Heaven.
I cannot hug from here.
If she lies to you don't listen,
Hug her and hold her near.
On the day we meet again,
we'll smile and I'll be bold.
I'll say, "You're lucky to get in here, Mom
with all the lies you told!"




Native American (Hopi) Prayer

I give you this one thought to keep--

I am with you still-- I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow,

I am the diamond glints on snow,

I am the sunlight on ripened grain,

I am the gentle Autumn rain.


When you awaken in the morning's hush

I am the swift, uplifting rush

of quiet birds in circled flight.

I am the soft start that shine at night.

Do not think of me as gone--

I am with you still-- in each new dawn.




"Some people come into our lives and quickly go.
Some stay for awhile
And leave footprints on our hearts ...
And we are never, ever the same."


Tammy <JTZR@Aol.com>
- Tuesday, September 13, 2005 0:02 AM CDT

---

Connor, I just have to tell you how neat Brooklyn looks with her front two teeth missing. Every time I see her I think about you and what you would look like without those two teeth. Every time, without fail, this pops into my mind, so I asked her yesterday what she thought you would look like and her answer to me was "fine". She shudda said "cute", cause that is how I picture you.
Brooklyn, your brother, and little Ryan are quite the threesome Connor. They gave me a very severe anxiety attack the day we all had lunch together recently. You shudda just seen them misbehavin'.....it was quite an experience for me, and then the Mommas spoke of when you and Brooklyn had lunch one day and smeared some all over some mirrors in a restaurant. I shuddered at that story, and went on my way, while they went on theirs after we were done eating. If this is making you grin Connor, then I know you may be just wanting to show a toothless smile off - right?
I do think about you a lot and like to see the shrine in Brooklyn's bedroom made just for you.
Val (Brooklyn's Granny) <meemma@hotmail.com>
Edmonton, AB Canada - Monday, September 12, 2005 11:24 PM CDT

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Hi Guys!
I hope your having fun! I have LIVE STRONG bracletes for you and Aidan from Sandy...Sorry Darren there isn't one for you...:0(
She only had enough for Aidan And Kristy...the rest were going to NewFoundland.
Talk to you soon
Gina <gparnell@telus.net>
Beaumont, - Sunday, September 11, 2005 10:27 PM CDT

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Hi Aiden, wow your getting good at counting, you made me giggle by saying "all gone" hehe. lots of love, viks x
viks <viks@postpals.co.uk>
- Saturday, September 10, 2005 10:13 PM CDT

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Kristy,
I hope you and Aidan have a nice time in Atlanta.


Audrey
Audrey Johnman <ajohnman@yahoo.com>
Hamilton, ON Canada - Wednesday, September 7, 2005 10:02 PM CDT

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Glad to hear someone listened to your Mommy, Aidan. Don't them doctors know that "Mom knows best????"

You two have a wonderful time in Atlanta. Can't wait to hear how your visit went.
Nancy Beauchemin <nancybea33@yahoo.com>
Calgary, AB Canada - Monday, September 5, 2005 1:54 AM CDT

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Thanks for helping finding Thomas Conor! I knew if I asked you he would turn up...but I didn't think it would have been the same day!
Aidan I hope you and your Mommy and Daddy are having a wonderful trip...but not to much fun! LOL
Ryan and Brooklyn miss you lot's, Ry is chasing Justin calling Aidie! Aidie!
I hope your cough is gone...and it isn't slowing you down any.
See you soon
Gina
Beaumont, - Sunday, September 4, 2005 10:06 AM CDT

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Hi guys,
I hope the ordeal at the hospital wasn't too hard. I also hope you have a great trip, and get lots of sunshine and relaxation. We think of you often :)
Marquita, Dale Vincent and Hudson Taylor <barracuda-m@shaw.ca>
Fort McMurray, AB Canada - Friday, September 2, 2005 10:51 AM CDT

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Hey Aidain,
Sorry you had to go for all those tests and poking.I can't believe they way they treated your poor mommy.She has every right to feel the way she feels.I would do the same thing.I'm glad your doing good.Hope you dont' cough to much any more with the medicine.You have on your vacation.Thinking of you always.
BRENDA My Loving Dad's Site <brurka@shaw.ca>
EDMONTON,ALBERTA CANADA, - Thursday, September 1, 2005 10:48 AM CDT

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Yikes, Aidan, Sorry to hear about all the tests and pokes and everything else but it was all worth it to know that you are okay and to get you what you need to get better and go on the plane. I hope all of you have tons of fun on your trip! With lots of love and hugs from down south,
Cassandra <cmraven@msn.com>
Albuquerque, NM - Thursday, September 1, 2005 0:34 AM CDT

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Aidan, that's the best knock knock joke I've ever heard! LOL I just got my daugther with it, and she's off to tell her daddy and sister. :o)

Have a great time in Atlanta!
Love,
Marcia and the gang, HugABug http://fivegoofs.tripod.com <marciat@sympatico.ca>
Bradford, ON - Wednesday, August 31, 2005 9:49 PM CDT

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Hope you have a great time in Atlanta. Enjoy the airplane ride Aidan.(sorry about that Yuccky nose swab, I agree with you about that) Hugs are always free Kristy, sometimes they are the only glue that can hold us moms together!
d gill <gillie50@hotmail.com>
wetaskiwin, alta canada - Wednesday, August 31, 2005 9:28 PM CDT

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Boy it sounds like Aidan is getting so big! He sounds like such a sweet little guy - just like his brother. I hope he loves preschool and has a wonderful time there. Thinking of you always,

Erin *HugABug* <erin_suddick@hotmail.com>
Bradford, ON - Wednesday, August 31, 2005 7:16 PM CDT

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Conor, mommy had me at the doctor for three days in a row! can you believe that? The first doctor said that I definately had someting going on because of my cough that wouldn't go away and she gave me some medicine for that. But mommy was STILL worried yesterday so she took me to the ER because she thought I had croup I was cough so much, I just didn't stop! That doctor made mommy feel like she was crazy and imagining things and I was FINE, and sent us home. Mommy just didn't feel right and was upset that the doctor didn't do any tests, especailly after a full night of coughing again last night. So sleep deprived mommy and I went BACK to the doctor again today. This time mommy was able to get into see our family doctor and right away just felt better. He even said that after all mommy had been through, she had every right to over react and be cautious! But she wasn't because sure enough, he sent me for all kinds of tests. A chest xray, yecky nose swab, and some blood work. I was doing fine til the bloodwork. I don't think mommy liked that much either. Some words just make mommy all weird and scared and that sure is one of them! Any way, a few pokes and pictures later, turns out my blood is fine (but we KNEW that)but the pictures showed I had some stuff on my lungs. Its not bad, but I don't think pneumonia is ever good! I am fine. Doing good, running around and playing. Still coughing but I've got some new medicines and even one I have to puff in, and I am taking that good for mommy. Phew. I just had to tell you how brave a I was and though I screamed pretty loud at the blood work ladies, it wasn't that bad. I got some chocolate out of the whole ordeal anyway! the whole thing made mommy realize that no one, no doctor ANYONE is going to make her second guess herself again. Mommy knew I wasn't feeling well! And I have to get on an airplane soon! I have to be all better for that. The important thing is I am fine and that mommy is ever so greatful that our family doctor here is so wonderful and looks after me so well. And the doctor I saw today at the hospital was so good to me and mommy too. They all remember you and I guess they aren't taking any chances with me and I am glad for that. The nurses sure were nice to me too! lots of stickers and suckers and even some hugs for mom. Every tells me how cute I am too :). Anyway conor, I got to go and play some more while mommy packs our suitcases!
Love Aidan (your little buddy) <willywillydoo@yahoo.ca>
- Wednesday, August 31, 2005 4:39 PM CDT

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Hi Conor,
Boy Aidan is sure getting to know his Trains...you would be proud of him. He is also talking so much! At lunch we all had to give him our tickets to get on the train...It was so cute!! You know what Thomas is missing from our house...Do you know where he likes to go??
Gina
Beaumont, - Wednesday, August 31, 2005 8:07 AM CDT

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Thinking of you all, Kristy, Darren, Aidan and other families who have lost loved ones to cancer. Conor you will never be forgotten, you will always have a special place in my heart. I never met you, but little things make me think of you, like driving home at night and looking up to the sky filled with stars and a bright moon, I think of you........ or when a song comes on the radio.. I think of you........ you are always in my thoughts.
Heather <hbuchana@telus.net>
Calgary, AB - Tuesday, August 30, 2005 11:52 AM CDT

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We knew Zachary as well on the ward...I remember well his "end of chemo" party. As cancer parents and children, our lives intersect in a remarkably personal way, yet we often know so little about each other, or, to put it another way, we know all we need to know about each other. My heart goes out to Zachary's families and to all who have lost children, including the staff at the Stollery who deal with cancer stricken kids day in and day out and just continue doing what they do so very well.

www.caringbridge.org/canada/shiri
www.casring
Sheila MacPherson <sheila@theedge.ca>
Yellowknife, NWT Canada - Saturday, August 27, 2005 8:36 PM CDT

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Good morning Fords. It's beautiful today in Minnesota. How is it up north? I think of Conor and your family every day. Thanks for still being here, still keeping in touch with people like me, strangers, whose lives are fuller because of Conor's site. I sometimes wonder why it matters so much to me, reading your posts, seeing the pictures. You and I have no tangible connection. It's unimaginable how technology, computers, is the force linking so many people's spirits and true humanity. I'm thankful for it, and thankful for you.
Alison <dunkproductions@mac.com>
Minneapolia, MN USA - Saturday, August 27, 2005 9:03 AM CDT

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I just popped by to see how you guys were doing.
Jodi and McKayla

Jodi Phelan <jodiphelan@hotmail.com>
Sherwood Park, AB Canada - Thursday, August 25, 2005 1:19 PM CDT

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Thinking of you always, Kristy, Darren, & Aiden.

Take Care. Stay Strong.

Joleen
Joleen Trudel (HAB) <jtrudel@duvalhouse.com>
Edmonton, AB - Wednesday, August 24, 2005 10:41 AM CDT

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Kristy- This week I have thought a lot about those early posts to the October moms about Conor’s diagnosis as well, and about how horrid and frightening those times were for us all; how my heart ached, as a mother, to imagine the pain and worry you were suffering. It seems so long ago, and yet, so new and close to the surface. The group was so close then, and it was almost like your pain rippled through us all. We loved (and still love) that beautiful boy with the knowing grin. We loved him for so many reasons, but today I am most thankful for him bringing you to us. You are such a dear and wonderful friend, and you have touched my life in ways that words can neither measure nor define. Conor gave me one of the greatest gifts; friendship. So today, and always, I am sending him all of my love. Thank you Conor, and thank you Kristy.
Allison <aotaylor@gmail.com>
Atlanta, GA USA - Tuesday, August 23, 2005 9:25 PM CDT

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Kristy,

Can it really be 3 years already? I remember a post of yours on AlbertanMoms when I first joined in. You mentioned you were bringing your son in for further testing. My baby #3 was just a few months old. Who would have ever thought at the time that Conor wouldn't be with you here today?

I just took a peek at those photos. I just love the photos of Conor and Aidan together, as well as your family shots. It reminds me of what's important.

Tonight, my oldest child and I watched the SARS movie. When the nurse died during the show, my son, who knows I work in a hospital, turned around and said, "I would be so, so sad if you died." It dawned on me that my son knows love. From what I have read, Conor knew love. He loved you so much. Kristy, I remember something a patient of mine said to me. She had a later stage breast cancer. She said something to this effect. "Oh, I'm not worrying about dying. I don't have fear. It's the survivors that worry. They are the ones that have to live the rest of their lives without the person they love. It's harder on them than it is on me."

Kristy, I pray often that the hurt will ease in time.

God bless,
Nancy Beauchemin <nancybea33@yahoo.com>
Calgary, AB Canada - Tuesday, August 23, 2005 3:03 AM CDT

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Kristy I just read the journal for the first time in a long time and was surprised to realize it's been three years already. Your family is in my thoughts often, I only met you IRL once but I remember Conor's beautiful curls!


Michele from AlbertanMoms@Yahoogroups
Edmonton, AB Canada - Monday, August 22, 2005 10:11 PM CDT

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Hi Kristy,
I tried to add pictures to the Shutter Fly....I don't think it worked! So you may just need to stop in... On Tuesday....LOL
Gina <gparnell@telus.net>
Beaumont, - Monday, August 22, 2005 9:46 AM CDT

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I just wanted to say I am thinking of you and your family. I just lost my father age 68 from lung cancer. he wasn't a smoker. Cancer is Evil! I have a son age 13 with multiple disabilities I always worry. Now with my Daddy gone I worry about Cancer also. I have two other children who I worry about. Any ache or pain I freak. God Bless you and keep the faith. One day we will see them again.
Michele Smith <dustnprnt@aol.com>
Brentwood Northern , CALIF USA - Monday, August 22, 2005 2:50 AM CDT

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hello, i was talking to someone yesterday who mentioned thomas the tank enginge, so my mind automaticly sprung to conor.

Reading your diary entry's for his early days made me go cold :(

Thinking of you,

Love Viks



viks <viks@postpals.co.uk>
- Sunday, August 21, 2005 12:42 AM CDT

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There truly is nothing like the support of wonderful friends!
Thanks for sharing the slideshow. It was nice seeing Conor at different stages of his life. Just precious!
Marcia and the gang, HugABug http://fivegoofs.tripod.com <marciat@sympatico.ca>
- Saturday, August 20, 2005 1:23 PM CDT

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I love the picture's of Conor.Looking at them had me in tears.Then I pulled out the ones I have of him with Jason playing in the dirt and some with Brooklyn.Conor was always so happy,I sure do miss him.THinking of you always.
BRENDA My Loving Dad's Site <brurka@shaw.ca>
EDMONTON,ALBERTA CANADA, - Saturday, August 20, 2005 2:50 AM CDT

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Hi Conor,
I thought of you all day today
We drove by the Fringe, and I saw a sign that said " Sweet Potato Fries"
Then we went to the Fringe and had Curry! Baby Ry gobbled it right up! So did Brooklyn. We ate watching the African Drummers Ryan made a friend that looked like you. Curly hair, bucket hat, Gap sweater vest, big eyes and little button nose. His name was Nicolas....He and Ryan chased each other around and danced together. It reminded me of you and Brooklyn. Miss you much
Gina <gparnell@telus.net>
Beaumont, - Friday, August 19, 2005 10:56 PM CDT

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I never know what to write Kirsty. It all seems so cliched. I wish there was a way to change time. To make all of this dissapear. A bad dream perhaps.
Shellie Hickey
Beaudesert , QLD Australia - Thursday, August 18, 2005 11:33 PM CDT

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hi kristy
how is aidan i am at the library right now and i am thinking that aidan and conor will just walts through that door waiting for you to pic out your book so that you will read them a book well i got to run see ya later alligator aidan love you all
love katie maygard
katie maygard <katrinemaygard@msn.com>
wetaskiwin , alberta canada - Thursday, August 18, 2005 5:03 PM CDT

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Hi Kristy- My name is Heather and I am a member of GP2. I havent been posting lately but I've been reading. I was glad you included Conor's site in your post. What a beautiful boy! You have a lovely memorial site for him here. I am sorry for what you have been through and what you probably continue to go through. I feel drawn to parents whose children have died of cancer being that my little Jaired did also. He battled for 15 months and went home 6 days before his 4th birthday. (in case you havent read posts by me) Thank you for sharing Conor with us. Keep hanging in there, thats all we can do and sometimes barely even that (for me anyway) God bless you and your family
Heather <hdarem@yahoo.com>
Madison Heights, MI USA - Thursday, August 18, 2005 1:08 PM CDT

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Kristy, that was so hard for me to read for the pain is still in my heart. I don't think I will ever forget the day that I read that e-mail with the news of Conor. Conor will always be missed and never forgotten. Whenever Isaac gets a balloon and it gets away from him he claims Conor really wanted it as he watches it float into the sky. There are train tracks that run beside Isaac's school and as I left that first day and crossed those tracks I knew that all was going to be ok. I thought to myself that Conor would watch over my baby when I'm not with him. I hope that doesn't sound corny, but it's what was going through my mind. Always thinking of you...
Rebecca <rebecca-m@insightbb.com>
Louisville, KY USA - Thursday, August 18, 2005 9:19 AM CDT

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Kristy you will always be a part of our Oct99 family just as Conor will always be an Oct99 kid. We will always work to preserve the memories that are held in those posts and we welcome you with open arms and hugs whenever you need us.
Lise Baker Oct99Moms <caileykyle@yahoo.com>
Toronto, ON Canada - Thursday, August 18, 2005 7:46 AM CDT

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Kristy and the rest of the gang! It seems like yesterday here as well - we spoke about Conor yesterday - Lovisa prompted to go and visit (it's her biggest wish) so she could see that Aidan is doing well without Conor.

You are always present in our lifes with all your family - I bet many finds it crazy that we got to be such a close group of Oct99 Moms. You will always be a part of our "family" and Conor will always be one of the Oct99 kids!
Carola <carola@officefixarna.com>
Öjebyn,, SWEDEN - Thursday, August 18, 2005 6:58 AM CDT

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It broke my heart reading those emails way back then, and it broke over again reading them today. You guys are never far from our thoughts, Robbie *plays* with Conor most days, cos Conor is watching him with Robbies Daddy from Heaven. We love you guys, often quiet but always here.
Angela, Ainsley and Robbie <anggovan@aol.com>
Hawick, Scotland - Thursday, August 18, 2005 6:26 AM CDT

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Thank you for sharing your little boy with us. I know that most of the time I was reading those terrifying posts three years ago I was pumping in my office for Joey. Conor will never be forgotten and always be loved.
Helen Suchy <suchyfamily@sbcglobal.net>
OH USA - Wednesday, August 17, 2005 9:30 PM CDT

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I've been sitting here for the longest time staring at the flashing cursor in the "comments" box. What to say? I never know what to say. It sounds corny, but there are no words. There are SO many feelings, but I don't know how to word them properly, or sensitively. In the past 3 years I have watched my own two children thrive. They've turned from toddlers to young people. They've started school! I look at that photo of Conor on the home page - running and laughing, that head full of gorgeous thick red hair.... frozen in time. I have similar photos of Harry at that same age. But Harry doesn't look like that anymore. Gone is that chubby baby look that hung around until he was about 4. He's taller now, and thinner, and he looks more like a young man these days than a little boy. I wonder what would Conor look like now? Would his hair be more red than brown? Would he be tall? Would he still love Thomas or would he be more into Yugioh and MTV....?? Would he have just LOVED his first day of school? I know he would have been a star student. Such a clever little boy. And I bet he would have already planned his 6th birthday party by now!!
Oh Kristy. And as I type my heart breaks all over again.
I'm sorry I don't post often. Just know that Conor is forever in my heart. In OUR hearts - Ger, me and the kids. I too remember those posts as clearly as if they were written yesterday. I think that all of our lives changed forever that day.

Ali Green <aligreen@optusnet.com.au>
Melbourne, Australia - Wednesday, August 17, 2005 5:48 PM CDT

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Hi Kristy,

Today is our 3rd wedding anaversary. I remember so well How Brooklyn was looking forward to Dance with Conor. Everyone was asking where you were. Were's Brooklyn's Boyfriend, Where's Conor?
I remember your voice on the phone clear as day telling me he had Leukemia. I broke down and cried. I had no idea of the road you and your family had to travel. I remember you doing research on the internet on the phone with me....we were thinking he may of had the cat poop desease...but nope. I kept saying to myself it's not Leukemia, Conor is to healthy he couldn't possibly have that. Kids don't get Leukemia...that is for old people. Conor faught hard and he is a insperation to many. I am so glad we know you and your family. If it wasn't for Conor and Brooklyn...We may of never met! Not a day goes by that I don't think of him. I know Brooklyn thinks of him everyday too.
Take Care.
Gina
Beaumont, - Wednesday, August 17, 2005 5:08 PM CDT

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I remember all those days as well. I have gone back & read them too. We love you very much.
Tasha S
Castro Valley, CA USA - Wednesday, August 17, 2005 5:00 PM CDT

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Kristy, it just doesn't seem possible that all of that happened 3 whole years ago...I remember reading those posts like they were written last week. I remember talking to you on the phone when you were anxious for the doctor to call and assuring you that everything was going to be fine, and the feeling of being punched in the face when I read that it was absolutely not fine. I still feel guilty for that conversation and for every time I said that I was sure he'd be ok. And I still wish that none of this had ever happened. But I am so very glad that you are a part of our group and that we could be there for you when you needed us. We're still there when you need us...always will be...you know that.

Love you,
Stacey <stacey@nbta-eng.com>
Baton Rouge, LA USA - Wednesday, August 17, 2005 2:53 PM CDT

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Kristy, I remember those days so clearly; I remember thinking 'this can't be happening to one of us' and that everything would just have to turn out to be fine, and then the punch in the gut feeling when we got that email with that long confusing menacing diagnosis. We all still love you so, so much and you are always close to our hearts.
Rachel
Mariposa, CA USA - Tuesday, August 16, 2005 3:29 PM CDT

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What a beautiful and touching entry.You always have a way with words.I too remember back then,It was the weekend of Gina's wedding and YOu Conor and Darren were not there.I remember Gina and I wondering what was wrong,beacuse you not being there was not right.Then I remember when Gina called with the news.I was speachless so was she.We were both scared for you Darren and Conor.I got off the phone and just cried.I think about you all the time.You are never a moment away from my thoughts.
BRENDA My Loving Dad's Site <brurka@shaw.ca>
EDMONTON,ALBERTA CANADA, - Tuesday, August 16, 2005 11:59 AM CDT

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hi kristy
can you keep that pic of conor up on the page so i can get it on my computer our basement will be up and running in abought a month my thursday we can prime so maybe we can come over tonight after i go to the mall and thank you aidan for giving me those roses for my birthday i love you talk to maybe tonight call me
love you all
katie maygard
katie maygard <katrinemaygard@msn.com>
wetaskiwin, alberta canada - Tuesday, August 16, 2005 11:58 AM CDT

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Hi Conor,I remember Aug.15 so clearly as that was the day I went back to ottawa and was wondering why there was no answer at your house when I called so many times,I knew the results of your blood was supposed to be back,It was when mommy called the next day to tell me what was going on,I refused to beleive that you were sick,no way ,you had so much energy ,you never stopped.I was thnking of you so much yesterday,How all of our lives changed so much that day,there's a big empty space in my heart.I miss you so much.I miss your little arms aound my neck,I miss your little voice saying I love you nana.I miss your giggle,I miss your sense of humor,you were so funny.I miss everything about you,even your smelly feet.I'll Love You Forever.Nana
Nana <conaid@magma.ca>
- Tuesday, August 16, 2005 11:24 AM CDT

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Kristy
Always here for you.

Conor
I saw the sunset tonight. It was awesome, the red, and orange. The rainbow was beautiful too. I always think of you when I see either of these and try to take a picture of them with my cell phone. I guess it's not the best camera but the beauty will always be engraved in my soul, like you.
Cassandra <cmraven@msn.com>
Albuquerque, NM - Monday, August 15, 2005 11:47 PM CDT

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Happy belated 3rd birthday, Aidan!!!
Lisa Post <LMPOST@cox.net>
- Thursday, August 11, 2005 8:23 PM CDT

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Just thinking about you, hope things are going well.
Pam <lakenormanheat@yahoo.com>
Denver, NC USA - Thursday, August 11, 2005 12:05 AM CDT

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Thinking of you always.
BRENDA My Loving Dad's Site <brurka@shaw.ca>
EDMONTON,ALBERTA CANADA, - Wednesday, August 10, 2005 3:13 PM CDT

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Happy Belated Birthday Aidan. Sounds like you had sooooo much fun!
Heather <hbuchana@telus.net>
Calgary, AB - Tuesday, August 9, 2005 9:17 PM CDT

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Hi Little Man,Miss you so much.I'll Love You Forever.Nana
carol mercer <conaid@magma.ca>
- Tuesday, August 9, 2005 1:22 PM CDT

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Happy belated birthday, Aidan!!!!! We hope your birthday was sooooooo much fun!

Love,

Nancy Beauchemin <nancybea33@yahoo.com>
Calgary, AB Canada - Monday, August 8, 2005 8:26 PM CDT

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Happy Belated Birthday. Hope u enjoyed it and had lots of Cake
Love u
Bina
Bina <bruparelia@hotmail.com>
Bermuda, - Saturday, August 6, 2005 7:01 AM CDT

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Hi everyone! Thanks so much for all the birthday wishes! It really is great to be three. You should see how much I have grown just overnight. I am such a big boy now. I had a really fun birthday with all my friend's coming over for a party. My mom and dad bought me swimming pool so all my friends and I spend alot of the party in there! I got some cool thomas legos and then on my real birthday (since my party was 2 days before my real birthday!) my mommy gave me another present, it was some James legos. And then on my friend brookly gave me some money so I ran out and bought MORE legos. this one was Percy. its so fun. I got bubble machines and coloring stuff and some cloths and wooden train and way more than I can mention. I had a great birthday. Thanks for helping me celebrate being THREE!!!

Hey Conor - I love you.
Love Aidan <willywillydoo@yahoo.ca>
- Friday, August 5, 2005 11:32 AM CDT

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Thinking of you today...

Oiche mhaith, codladh samh.


Nan & Pop
Dartmouth, NS - Thursday, August 4, 2005 8:55 PM CDT

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Happy Birthday Aidan, I hope you have a wonderful day!!!!! You are an amazing BIG boy!! I hope your cake is SO COOL!!
Liz <jinx.kihlstrom@verizon.net>
kirkland , WA usa - Thursday, August 4, 2005 6:26 PM CDT

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Hey Aidan, happy Big-3 Birthday, buddy! We hope that you had a boat-load of cake and a truck-load of presents! That's a very special wish that you made, and although he may not have "appeared", I think that in some way you got your wish.

Party hard, Aidan!
Terry, Mary, Nicholas and Julianna Banana <tjosephson@shaw.ca>
Winnipeg, Canada - Thursday, August 4, 2005 1:15 PM CDT

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Conor, I know you just must be looking out this way this morning...there are a hundred hot air balloons in the sky here today. They will be here again tomorrow morning, so when you see them take off, be sure to look around for Claudia because she will be waving up at you and blowing a hundred kisses your way.

Love you Conor!
Stacey & Claudia <stacey@nbta-eng.com>
Baton Rouge, LA USA - Thursday, August 4, 2005 8:44 AM CDT

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Happy birthday, Aidan! How sweet of you to wish for Conor on your birthday.
Briana Roehling
Pflugerville, TX - Thursday, August 4, 2005 8:11 AM CDT

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A Conor moment. I took a road trip this long weekend and ended up in Kelowna, B.C. Stopped in to see some friends of my mother's. We started talking about how they knew my father's father from Cereal, A.B. I did not realize they are from Wetaskiwin (they are part of the 300 Swedes that decended for a reunion this summer). Anyway, I had to ask if they had heard of Conor. Their mouths dropped and they said of course! They were more than curious how I knew of Conor being that I am from Victoria. I told them that Conor's circle of friends extends outwards a very long way from Wetaskiwin! Just thought I would share..
Ron <ron@borsholm.ca>
Victoria, BC Canada - Thursday, August 4, 2005 0:07 AM CDT

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Happy Birthday Aiden!... Hope you have a WONDERFUL day!!
Ron <ron@borsholm.ca>
Victoria, BC Canada - Thursday, August 4, 2005 0:00 AM CDT

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Aidan....


I hope you've had a super day!! What a wonderful boy you are, and that was a very special wish you made. I'm sure Conor was right there with you, as he always is.

Love,
Marcia and the gang, HugABug http://fivegoofs.tripod.com <marciat@sympatico.ca>
Bradford, ON - Wednesday, August 3, 2005 11:32 PM CDT

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hi kristy
was at the hospital today, was so hard. the smell almost made me faint, the smell that hits you so hard, reminding you of the hope that once made each day easier to get through, and the hope that now is gone. I used to hate that smell as i lived there with my son surrounded by it, now i would give anything to be surrounded by that smell with him again. i miss you kristy, your strength, our bond, swearing and yelling, driving recklessly getting our anger out together, even laughing as we help each other just by understanding each others pain.
becky <burbec@shaw.ca>
- Wednesday, August 3, 2005 7:46 PM CDT

---

Happy 3rd Birthday Aidan!! I hope you have a super duper birthday full of love and presents and fun. I'm so very proud of you for deciding to shave your head, you look awesome little buddy.

Kristy I haven't chatted with you in too long, big hugs my friend.

Conor you're missed every day.

Lots of love,
Lise <cailmegsnjess@sympatico.ca>
Toronto, ON Canada - Wednesday, August 3, 2005 1:57 PM CDT

---

HI Conor,I remember today so well,we were all up really early in the morning because Mommy had labor pains,Her and Daddy went to the hospital later that morning,than it was just you and me.We waited for Keith to arrive from Ottawa,We went to Wendy's for lunch,you had chicken nuggets,while we were outside eating a ice cream Mommy and Daddy drove up,no baby yet.After they left again we went to Wal Mart,you feel asleep in the stroller,I had to wake you so you could pick out which Bob the builder toy you wanted,we went to the store to buy flowers to bring to the hospital and a balloon,the balloon blew away.Shortly after we got home Dadday called to say Aidan was here.We got ready to go meet your brother.We got off the elevator and you starting calling out to Mommy.The first time you looked at Aidan was so beautiful,you held him ,sitting in the rocking chair,you were so proud to be a Big Brother.It was such a happy time,I'm so proud to have been part of it.So many Happy Memories today,so sad also because you aren't here.Miss you so much Little Man.I'll Love You Forever.Nana
Happy 3rd.Birthday Aidan,Love You to Eternity and Beyond.
carol mercer <conaid@magma.ca>
- Wednesday, August 3, 2005 9:39 AM CDT

---

Happy Birthday Aidan!!!!
Noah and Nathan <tinaj@nl.rogers.com>
- Wednesday, August 3, 2005 6:48 AM CDT

---

Wow 3 Years old already.I hope you have a wonderful day sweety.I know that Conor will be with you on your special day like he is always.Thinking of you.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY AIDAN!
BRENDA My Loving Dad's Site <brurka@shaw.ca>
EDMONTON,ALBERTA CANADA, - Wednesday, August 3, 2005 1:39 AM CDT

---

Happy Birthday Aidan!!! What a special brother you are at the age of 3???? WOW! Hope you had a ggggrrreeaaattt day!
Trina De Luca <phil_trina@hotmail.com>
Sherwood Park, Alberta - Tuesday, August 2, 2005 2:14 PM CDT

---

HAVE A WONDERFUL BIRTHDAY TOMORROW, AIDAN!!!

Kristy, I hope you guys are doing well. Check in when you can. I think of y'all often.

Love,
Stacey <stacey@nbta-eng.com>
Baton Rouge, LA USA - Tuesday, August 2, 2005 1:21 PM CDT

---

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AIDAN.I SURE MISS YOU.LOTS OF HUGS.HAVE A GREAT DAY TOMORROW.XXX,OOO
Don Pacholka ,Pop, <d_pacholka@hotmail.com>
St.John's, NL CANADA - Tuesday, August 2, 2005 10:23 AM CDT

---

Happy Birthday Aidan!
Tracy Eckhardt (Hug A Bug) and Christopher <teckhardt@sympatico.ca>
Kitchener, On Canada - Monday, August 1, 2005 8:00 PM CDT

---

Just checking in with you. My daughter and I sang Puff at the top of our lungs the other day in the car and you were in my thoughts. The people next to us thought we were nuts and we just waved and kept right on singing and driving. ((Fords))
Liz <jinx.kihlstrom@verizon.net>
Kirkland, Wa USA - Monday, August 1, 2005 10:32 AM CDT

---

Hi Conor,
Today I lost my front tooth, because my mom pulled it out on the way home from Ikea, In the back of my Granny's car! I am going to wait for the tooth fairy to come. I better get to bed because we have Aidan's Birthday party tomorrow. I love you Conor!
Brooklyn <brookie9@telus.net>
Beaumont, - Sunday, July 31, 2005 11:56 PM CDT

---

Hi Kristy! I've been thinking of you lots. I just got back a week ago from a month long holiday back to Ontario where I'm from. We had a wonderful time. The heat and humidity was quite welcome. I noticed your mother posted about the amazing thunderstorm in Ottawa. I thought it was the neatest thing, too! It was so electrical that I ended up videotaping it. We haven't seen thunderstorms like that since we moved to Calgary from Ottawa in 2000. Too bad my dad didn't turn off the tv during the storm. Yep, you guessed it! The tv went when the power station was hit. Imagine...no tv for the kids for the remainder of our holiday!

Anyways, Kristy, we have since been back to the Calgary Public Library (Crowfoot) since we've been back. You know what my older 2 kids said? "Hey, that's where we sent Conor's balloons & chicken nuggets from!"

Take good care of you and your family,

Love,
Nancy Beauchemin <nancybea33@yahoo.com>
Calgary, AB Canada - Saturday, July 30, 2005 3:27 PM CDT

---

hi kristy
please wright soon
bob the builder is going to be at k-days and lunett the clown was at the scollery childrens on satruday
love always katie
love you aidan
katie maygard <katrinemaygard@msn.com>
wetaskiwin, alberta canada - Monday, July 25, 2005 9:57 AM CDT

---

Poppin in to say that I am thinking of you guys today. I was talking to a Stollery Oncology Nurse the other day and I asked if she had the chance to know Conor. She got a big smile and said "oh yes, he was quite the character! What an awesome family, they sure lit up the unit". Thought you might like to hear that. Have a great day. Conor, it sounds like you are so missed by everyone. Hope you are still flying high buddy.
Trina De Luca <phildeluca@shaw.ca>
Sherwood Park, AB - Saturday, July 23, 2005 12:54 AM CDT

---

Always thinking of you Conor.
BRENDA My Loving Dad's Site <brurka@shaw.ca>
EDMONTON,ALBERTA CANADA, - Saturday, July 23, 2005 2:16 AM CDT

---

Hey Buckie Boo,Got your message yesterday,took me a while to figure what the bird was doing,it just wouldn't leave until I finally started to talk to it,I was sitting in the chair outside reading,the bird flew behind me and I could feel the air move and heard its wings,so close.It stayed in the tree above me and then on the fence making noise,Talking to me?Yes I know it was,thanks little man.I'll Love You Forever.Nana
carol mercer <conaid@magma.ca>
- Friday, July 22, 2005 11:11 AM CDT

---

Hello, Just stopping into say hi. Hope you all have a great weekend!
Tracy Eckhardt and Christopher
Kitchener, ON Canada

Hug A Bug <teckhardt@sympatico.ca>
- Friday, July 22, 2005 9:22 AM CDT

---

Just stopping in to say I've been thinking of you....
Tracy M Hug a Bug <tmangin@sympatico.ca>
Windsor, ON Canada - Friday, July 22, 2005 7:42 AM CDT

---

HI Everyone,
Thanks so much Kristy for bringing my bracelts over.I will always leave mine on.I will send you a picture of us wearing them when Jason gets home.Jason is going to be so happy that he has his too.He felt so bad for losing the first one.Adain you are so adorable.Everytime I see you you get cuter and cuter and you look so much like your big brother Conor.I know that he is so proud of his baby brother.Felicity is still talking about you Lol she thinks your cute.Thinking of you always.Take Care.
LOve
Brenda <brurka@shaw.ca>
EDMONTON,ALBERTA CANADA, - Sunday, July 17, 2005 11:48 PM CDT

---

Just thinking about you....
Marcia and the gang, HugABug http://fivegoofs.tripod.com <marciat@sympatico.ca>
- Saturday, July 16, 2005 8:34 AM CDT

---

It's Thomas the Tank Engine
Hip hip hip hip hooray
Chugga chugga chug chug, Chuff chuff chuff
He rides along the way
And when you hear that whistle
It can only be one train
Our favorite little engine
Thomas is his name

.....Thinking of you tonight Conor....
Heather <hbuchana@telus.net>
Calgary, AB - Friday, July 15, 2005 9:13 PM CDT

---

hi kristy
we might come over tonight
hope to see you
love you aidan
love katie
p.s. kristy please wright soon
katie maygard <katrinemaygard@msn.com>
wetaskiwin, alberta canada - Thursday, July 14, 2005 4:59 PM CDT

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Hey Little Monkey,We had a fantastic thunder storm last night,you would have loved it,I thought of you so much as I sat and watched from the balcony.I know you would have been so excited with the loud bangs and the flashes.Miss you so much.I'll Love You Forever.Nana
carol mercer <conaid@magma.ca>
- Thursday, July 14, 2005 11:14 AM CDT

---

Heya Kristy, havent been here in a while since Netscape ate my bookmarks =/
Just wanted to say how cool it was of Aidan to get his head shaved, you have so much to be proud of with both your sons! Love and best wishes from Scotland.
Angela Ainsley Robbie <anggovan@aol.com>
Hawick, Scotland - Wednesday, July 13, 2005 4:12 PM CDT

---

hi kristy
please wright soon
love katie
p.s.31 days till my birthday
lol.
katie <katrinemaygard@msn.com>
wetaskiwin, alberta canada - Wednesday, July 13, 2005 1:59 PM CDT

---

Thinking of you always.
BRENDA My Loving Dad's Site <brurka@shaw.ca>
EDMONTON,ALBERTA CANADA, - Wednesday, July 13, 2005 1:24 PM CDT

---

BOO! Me again!
Long long time no no see. Sorry guys. Aidan man you look COOL with shaved head. I'd say very much like that guy Vin Diesel. Does Mom let you watch movies like that?

I hope you guys are fine and doing well. Btw, I didn't know you live in Wetaskiwin. That's a funny name for a city :-P.

Miss you tons Conor. Behave :-D

Stay cool
Leo & Lenka <goomba4ever@km.ru>
Irkutsk, Russia - Wednesday, July 13, 2005 10:52 AM CDT

---

hi kristy
please wright soon
love u aidan
love katie
katie <katrinemaygard@msn.com>
wetaskiwin, alberta canada - Tuesday, July 12, 2005 3:47 PM CDT

---

Hey Kristy, just checking in. The La La song was on today while we were driving, and the girls all knew to sing at the top of their lungs. I'm sure people in the cars around us were wondering what was up. :O)
Enjoy your week.
Marcia and the gang, HugABug http://fivegoofs.tripod.com <marciat@sympatico.ca>
Bradford, ON - Sunday, July 10, 2005 10:13 PM CDT

---

hi kristy please wright soon
love you adian
love katie
p.s. i got a light blue soccer bouncy ball from the other bouncy ball machene
katie maygard@msn.com <katrinemaygard@msn.com>
wetaskiwin, alberta canada - Saturday, July 9, 2005 8:45 PM CDT

---

Hi Kristy

I’ve got a team together to take part in the Race for Life which is a series of national events in the UK in support of Cancer Research. Just wanted to let you know that we have our orange wrist bands and we will be doing the race not just for Nathan but for all our JMML kids. On Sunday 17th July we will be thinking of Conor as we complete our walk around Aintree racecourse. Not as brave as Aidan shaving his head tho!
Love to you all

Mandy Valentine (www3.caringbridge.org/nv/nathanv/) <mandy@ajvalentine.fsnet.co.uk>
Liverpool, UK - Saturday, July 9, 2005 2:28 PM CDT

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Hey Little Man,you're my last thought at night and my first in the morning.Miss you so much.I'll Love You Forever.Nana
carol mercer <conaid@magma.ca>
- Friday, July 8, 2005 9:48 AM CDT

---

Puff, the magic dragon, lived by the sea
And frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called Honalee.
Little Jackie Paper loved that rascal Puff
And brought him strings and sealing wax and other fancy stuff, oh
Puff, the magic dragon, lived by the sea
And frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called Honalee.

Together they would travel on boat with billowed sail
Jackie kept a lookout perched on Puff's gigantic tail
Noble kings and princes would bow whene'er they came
Pirate ships would lower their flags when Puff roared out his name, oh

Puff, the magic dragon, lived by the sea
And frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called Honalee.
Puff, the magic dragon, lived by the sea
And frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called Honalee.

A dragon lives forever, but not so little boys
Painted wings and giants's rings make way for other toys.
One grey night it happened, Jackie Paper came no more
And Puff that mighty dragon, he ceased his fearless roar.

His head was bent in sorrow, green scales fell like rain
Puff no longer went to play along the cherry lane.
Without his lifelong friend, Puff could not be brave
So, Puff that mighty dragon sadly slipped into his cave, oh

Puff, the magic dragon, lived by the sea
And frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called Honalee.
Puff, the magic dragon, lived by the sea....


Good night, sweet dreams...I love you.

did I tell you today? I LOVE YOU

Mommy <missubilly@mommy.com>
- Monday, July 4, 2005 11:56 PM CDT

---

hi kristy
miss you aidan
hope you get well soon no more feeling yucky
got lots of bouncy balls hope to maybe trade some with you and i love you and miss you
love katie maygard aka silly lilly
katie maygard aka sillly lilly <katrinemaygard@msn.com>
wetaskiwin, alberta canada - Monday, July 4, 2005 5:36 PM CDT

---

hi guys
get well soon Aidan.
love u lots
love kayla
katie
p.s.
kristy please write soon
kayla maygard <kaylamaygard@msn.com>
Wetaskwin, Alberta canada - Monday, July 4, 2005 9:54 AM CDT

---

Happy Canada Day! Enjoy the sun.
Britni’s Site
Carolyn <abknsmom@telus.net>
GP, - Friday, July 1, 2005 8:06 PM CDT

---

Happy Canada Day!
Have a fun day today!
Love,
Marcia and the gang, HugABug http://fivegoofs.tripod.com <marciat@sympatico.ca>
- Friday, July 1, 2005 10:01 AM CDT

---

Happy Canada Day Fords!
Have a fun day!
Thinking of you guys
Gina <gparnell@telus.net>
Beaumont, - Friday, July 1, 2005 9:55 AM CDT

---

hi kristy it's katie
i got lots of bouncy balls now and as soon as we go and get our slushy's i am going to go and get some more.
i still love your hair aidan and i hope that we will be able to come and play bouncy balls with you so i hope to maybe see you tonight i miss you and maybe we could have a bouncy ball trade i have been finding bouncy balls all around my house latly in my room the most in my toy box i find them sometimes in the blanket your mom gave us that was conor's i did not want my shirt of conor to be recked so i put it on a teddie bear that the name is conor because i miss him so much and he should be with you and you two would be the ford boys the crazest of all and you would both shave your heads for the short cut to the cure and you conor would be the survivor of the family and you would have kicked cancer in the butt really hard with steel shoes. today when i was doing a craft at our kitchen table the radio all of a sudden i thought that it was a breaker but it was not so the only conclushion that i could make was it was conor i was not my fav songs that came on first it was later right after halofbatgirl ended the radio turned off and i turnded on my own radio and i blasted the volume and put on the song bon jovi it's my life and i loved it so much i jumped on my bed and steped up to my desk chair and started to sing on the top of my lungs well i've got to go and check my e-mail the computer time on the library's computer is running out hope to wright again soon
love you lots conor and aidan and krsty and darren and everyone that has cancer ...
love katie maygard aka silly lilly
love you aidan and conor
katie maygard aka silly lilly <katrinemaygard@msn.com>
wetaskiwin , alberta canada - Thursday, June 30, 2005 4:01 PM CDT

---

I'm visiting from Julianna's site via Ali's
site via Matthew's sight! :) You have had
absolutely beautiful sons both inside and out.
To think that a 2 year would do that in memory
of his brother proves that you have instilled
in your children a drive to persist, love, and
care. Your sons seems extremely missed and very
loved. You will be in our prayers. And as Matthew says.... NEVER GIVE UP!
Dani Luttrell <sd2fw5@comcast.net>
Fort Wayne, IN - Tuesday, June 28, 2005 10:41 AM CDT

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What a beautiful shaved head and a beautiful day that was. Thank-you for sharing. Our prayers are with you.
The Coe's <jillco8@cox.net caringbridge.org/va/trevorco>
Hayes, VA - Monday, June 27, 2005 10:38 AM CDT

---

Hi Aiden, wow shaved hair suits you, i can't tell you and connor in the picture apart :)

Big hugs to you,

Vikki
www.postpals.co.uk
viks <viks@postpals.co.uk>
- Monday, June 27, 2005 9:59 AM CDT

---

I too came over from Juliana's site and now I have tears in my eyes reading about your boys. How awesome is Adain? I guess you know. Take care. Sending lots of love and prayers your way....
Abby Kinch <abbykinch@hotmail.com>
Lee's Summit, MO - Sunday, June 26, 2005 5:18 PM CDT

---

Hi,
I came over from Julianna's site and thought I would sign your guestbook. I hope that is okay with you. Two very beautiful boys...I guess I should say very handsome. What a very honorable thing for Aidan to do for his big brother. I'm sure that Connor is very proud of his little brother and is smiling down from Heaven at him.
Lilly <Softshoe514@aol.com>
RI - Sunday, June 26, 2005 1:08 PM CDT

---

Kristy,
Aidan is so beautiful. He really is. He has such a light around him. You and Darren made two truly beautiful sons, inside and out.
Hugs.
leeann <niccofive@aol.com>
ellicott city, md usa - Thursday, June 23, 2005 9:33 PM CDT

---

wow what a lil man!!! that is truly amazing!!! bless his lil heart!! i cannot imagine what goes through his sweet innocent lil head but i know that he understands far more than any of us ever will with the innocence of a child...i came here from julianna bananna's sight as terry so elaborately caught my curiosity...what a beautiful son and how you must miss him...i pray that God continues to bless you and your family with his healing grace as you mourn the loss of one so dear...i know that aidan will make it so much easier with his happy charm....
janie besser <janiejanie2323@aol.com>
masury, ohio usa - Thursday, June 23, 2005 8:33 PM CDT

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Oh and Aidan looks sooooo handsome with his head shaved!! You did you brother proud Aidan!! Excellent job sweetie!!
Hugs and Kisses to you Aidan!! <n_mercer@nf.sympatico.ca>
St. John's, NL Canada - Thursday, June 23, 2005 0:06 AM CDT

---

I love you, I miss you too.... but 3:45am!!! Naw, you can call me whatever "hour" you like.... when it's DAYLIGHT and in "MY" time zone !!! Hope to hear from you soon. Jen is moving to Alberta for the summer... she would really like to see you.
Thinking of you ALWAYS, Love Nancy xoxoxo <n_mercer@nf.sympatico.ca>
St. John's, NL Canada - Thursday, June 23, 2005 0:03 AM CDT

---

BRAVO, Aidan! What a great little guy...so smart and so caring...and (of course) as handsome as ever. :-)
Stacey Suire <stacey@nbta.com>
Baton Rouge, LA USA - Wednesday, June 22, 2005 4:32 PM CDT

---

Way to go Aidan. You look absolutely adorable, and so much like that picture of Conor! I'm sure he was giggling watching you get your head shaved. You are an amazing boy and I think it's so wonderful that you have such a beautiful relationship with your big brother! Love to you all...
Meghan McFadden <Irisheyesmeg@aol.com>
Renton, WA USA - Tuesday, June 21, 2005 8:49 PM CDT

---

Hi Darren...I wanted to wish you a belated Happy Fathers Day!!!! When i visit this site it not only reminds me of Conor, but it reminds me what amazing parents you both are!!
Glenda and Mike <glendaroche@ns.sympatico.ca>
Dartmouth, - Tuesday, June 21, 2005 2:22 PM CDT

---

Aidan, you are such a caring little guy, i will certainly send you a pledge!!! You look very handsome with a shaved head, i bet conor would have loved to be the one holding the clippers :),you and conor look so much alike, you must be so proud that he was your big brother!!!! Love you, Glenda
Glenda and Mike <glendaroche@ns.sympatico.ca>
Dartmouth, - Tuesday, June 21, 2005 2:18 PM CDT

---

Hi Sweet Little Man.Thank you.I'll Love You Forever.Nana
carol mercer <conaid@magma.ca>
ottawa on, ca - Tuesday, June 21, 2005 1:32 PM CDT

---

WOW.. way to go Aidan ... and Brooklyn ...... I am sure Conor is so proud of you both ;-)))
Heather <hbuchana@telus.net>
Calgary, AB - Monday, June 20, 2005 10:14 PM CDT

---

Wow, I can't believe how much Conor and Aidan look alike. I know I don't sign in often, but I am always here. Hope to talk to you again soon.
Tina <tinaj@nl.rogers.com>
St. John's, NL Canada - Monday, June 20, 2005 9:10 PM CDT

---

Thank you for the wonderful weekend!
We were glad to be there for the head shave and the run!
Brooklyn has now decieded to cut her hair as short as she can for kids for wigs and donate the money raised to a family that needs it.
What a guy....Little Willy Baby! Your head looks wonderful, even with ketchup on it
Conor is very proud of you! I can't beleive how much you look like your big bro!
Brooklyn wants you to know she misses you, Conor.
Kristy, you will get that Butterfly Bouncy Ball!
Ryan sure had fun with the bouncy balls! I think he now knows they are more fun to bounce then chew!

Gina, Brooklyn and Baby Ry
Beaumont, - Monday, June 20, 2005 1:19 PM CDT

---

What a wonderful update and what a wonderful thing for Aiden to do for his brother.
Briana Roehling
Pflugerville, TX - Monday, June 20, 2005 9:07 AM CDT

---

Wishing you a Happy Father's Day Darren,
Hope you had a fun filled day with Adain and precious memories of Conor.
Aidan,
I know we never made it to the head shave but Mommy took us to get our headshaved today and we donated some Money to the Cancer Sociaty

BrendaMy Loving Dad's Site <brurka@shaw.ca>
EDMONTON,ALBERTA CANADA, - Sunday, June 19, 2005 11:02 PM CDT

---

Happy Fathers Day Darren...
Love
Bina
Bina <bruparelia@hotmail.com>
Bermuda, - Sunday, June 19, 2005 6:30 PM CDT

---

Aidan - you are one of those lucky boys that looks even cuter bald!! Great job being such a srong, loving boy! Your Mommy's doing a great job.

Rachel
- Sunday, June 19, 2005 4:05 PM CDT

---

Way to go Aidan
Love it
I'm very proud
next year i want to shave my head for cancer
all my hair off
Happy fathers day to all dad's
great jod too everyone that cut or shaved thier head
have a great day
Kayla Maygard <kaylamaygard@msn.com>
Conor's home town Wetaskiwin, alberta Canada - Sunday, June 19, 2005 3:33 PM CDT

---

Way to go, Aidan!!! I'm sure that Conor is so very proud of you!!!


Darren, thinking of you today...


Marcia and the gang, Hug a Bug, http://fivegoofs.tripod.com <marciat@sympatico.ca>
Bradford, ON - Sunday, June 19, 2005 11:18 AM CDT

---

Awesome doo little man! I love it! Im in on the pledges, just let me know when and how! Im so there! For you too Brooklyn! You kids are great!

Cassandra <cmraven@msn.com>
Albuquerque, NM - Sunday, June 19, 2005 1:41 AM CDT

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Hi Everyone!I'm so proud of you all.Aidan you sure are a beautiful, brave boy and we know who's helping you.Love you.xxx,ooo
Don Pacholka , Kristy's dad ,Pop <d_pacholka@hotmail.com>
Cypress [just visiting], CA USA - Saturday, June 18, 2005 10:49 PM CDT

---

Way to go Adain.You look so cute with your head shaved,and you look so much like Conor.I love you little guy.I wish I knew the head shave was today I would of brought Jason and Tristan like last year.They were looking so forward to getting there head shaved.Oh well I will just have to get them done somewhere else then,LOL.Take care and I'm thinking of you always.Love you Conor and miss you lots.
BrendaMy Loving Dad's Site <brurka@shaw.ca>
EDMONTON,ALBERTA CANADA, - Saturday, June 18, 2005 10:16 PM CDT

---

Hi guys...

I think of you often and just wanted to stop in and say hi.
It has now been 9 1/2 months for us since our 5 year old little girl passed away and It is still so hard to believe.

I love all the pictures of Conor and that is so cute how he was with his baby brother... :)

I always wonder how Zoe would have reacted to a "actual" baby... She was so excited to be a big sister and I know that she would have been an excellent at it... She passed away 10 weeks before he was born and the only picture I have of them "together" in a way is one of me 7 months pregnant with Zurik holding Zoe a week before she passed away.

You are in my thoughts and prayers...
Take care,

Tammy

Pround Mom to:

5 year old ^j^ Zoë
7-20-99 to 9-5-04
~Forever Dancing and Flying Free Within Our Hearts~

And My Earth Angel ~Zurik William~ Now 7 months old

Zoë's caringbridge page:
http://www2.caringbridge.org/az/zoesequoia/



"I would rather have had 30 seconds
of wonderful,
than a lifetime of nothing special."
















Tammy <JTZR@Aol.com>
- Saturday, June 18, 2005 5:56 PM CDT

---

It's been a while since I've been by, but you are all thought of often.
Tracy M Hug a Bug <tmangin@sympatico.ca>
Windsor, ON Canada - Thursday, June 16, 2005 3:12 PM CDT

---

Thinking of you and your family.
Crysta <cdnelson21@hotmail.com>
Red Deer, AB Canada - Tuesday, June 14, 2005 10:13 PM CDT

---

Thinking of you today... as always.. I love you guys! Oh Kris' I have the manual to study, now I can call myself somethng!!! lmao
Love always and forever, Nancy xoxoxo <n_mercer@nf.sympaticolca>
St. John's, NL Canada - Tuesday, June 14, 2005 9:03 PM CDT

---

thinking of you kristy and your family
becky
- Tuesday, June 14, 2005 2:39 PM CDT

---

hi conor
you had better be watching over me when me and your brother in the paraide and helping those that are shaveing and cutting there hair for curtis beattie and more people that have concer well got to go i am in school and please help me with my science test after lunch
love you lots
yo too aidan
love katie maygard aka silly lilly
love you lots
katie maygard aka silly lilly <katrinemaygard@msn.com>
wetaskiwin, alberta canada - Monday, June 13, 2005 11:32 AM CDT

---

Thinking of you always.

WAY TO GO CASSANDRA!! CONGRATUALATIONS!!

Joleen (Hug A Bug)
Joleen Trudel <jtrudel@duvalhouse.com>
Edmonton, AB - Thursday, June 9, 2005 12:47 AM CDT

---

WAY TO GO CASSANDRA!

Hi guys,
Boy I think it's been about 2 weeks since we have seen you!! STOP IN!
Gina <gparnell@telus.net>
Beaumont, - Thursday, June 9, 2005 9:27 AM CDT

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Kristy;
For what it is worth I think Conor and Justin were very much kindred spirits. I just know in my heart that Justin is a reflection of a grown up Conor. You and Monica are the same kind of fabulous Moms with similar boys. I know that the boys are together, and I am comforted to know that you and Monica have each other.

Wendy
4E2
Wendy Howard
Edmonton, - Wednesday, June 8, 2005 1:46 PM CDT

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Congratulations Cassandra on completing your first triathalon! The two pictures on your shirt helped you get to the finish line ;-)

Thinking of you tonight Conor ....
Heather <hbuchana@telus.net>
Calgary, AB - Wednesday, June 8, 2005 0:59 AM CDT

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Hi Kristy! I just wanted to drop you a line. I think of you and your family often.
Nancy Beauchemin <nancybea33@yahoo.com>
Calgary, AB Canada - Tuesday, June 7, 2005 10:36 PM CDT

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Way to go, Cassandra!!! Wow, have we ever shared a lot of Conor stories since getting out bracelets. He's going to be well known in Bradford ON !
Kristy, always thinking of you...
Marcia and the gang, HugABug http://fivegoofs.tripod.com <marciat@sympatico.ca>
Bradford, ON - Tuesday, June 7, 2005 10:19 PM CDT

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Checking in, so sorry about Justin. I just read his entry to you and got goosebumps. I hope he and Conor are causing mischief in heaven! It's always nice to read your updates Kristy and I'm so thankful that Conor's site is still active. And congrats to Cassandra for her marathon!
Meg McFadden <Smilneyz@aol.com>
Renton, WA 98059 - Tuesday, June 7, 2005 3:26 AM CDT

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Just popped in to say I'm thinkin' 'bout ya!!

Joleen : )
Joleen Trudel (HAB) <jtrudel@duvalhouse.com>
Edmonton, AB - Monday, June 6, 2005 4:45 PM CDT

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Hey guys, just wanted to pop in and say "hi" and that I'm thinking of y'all.

Love,
Stacey <stacey@nbta-eng.com>
Baton Rouge, LA USA - Monday, June 6, 2005 9:23 AM CDT

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One sunny mornin'
We'll rise I know
And I'll meet you
Further on up the road...

Miss you sunshine...


Nan & Pop Ford
Dartmouth, NS - Saturday, June 4, 2005 5:38 PM CDT

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One sunny mornin'
We'll rise I know
And I'll meet you
Further on up the road...

Miss you sunshine...


Nan & Pop Ford
Dartmouth, NS - Saturday, June 4, 2005 5:38 PM CDT

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hi kristy aidan and darren
me and allison or kayla will be over soon
love you lots
love katie maygard
katie maygard <katrinemaygard@msn.com>
wetaskiwin, alberta canada - Saturday, June 4, 2005 4:09 PM CDT

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Just wanted to let you know that I'm the proud new owner of an orange bracelet!! In fact, we all are. My kids' friends were begging for their own tonight. :o) They are all my little hug a bug helpers. I'll send pics soon.
Marcia and the gang, HugABug http://fivegoofs.tripod.com <marciat@sympatico.ca>
- Wednesday, June 1, 2005 10:24 PM CDT

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I am so sad, I sit here crying that Justin died. I am so mad, and so scared.
Your tribute to him is awesome, thank you.
Suzy
www.caringbridge.org/ca/rebeccalynn
www.tannerlaughs.com
Suzy <tanlaughs1@aol.com>
- Wednesday, June 1, 2005 1:46 AM CDT

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Hey little man. Just wanted to stop in and say thanks for being there for me. Wasn't it fun? So hard but soooooo fun. Even getting my watch kicked off was just something to add to the experience. More than once I looked down at my jersey and saw your smiling face looking up at me and was able to go a little longer... You rock! Did you get the hug?

Kristy,
Thank you for calling. It was awesome. I was so excited after I got off the phone. You should have called before the race!! Although you couldnt get out there, I know all of you wish you could have been there and that I was in your thoughts. That means thw world to me. Thank you for all of your help and support through this. Next time.. you will be fundraising too so we can meet at an event! Walk a marathon? In Hawaii?
Cassandra Cassandra's Site <cmraven@msn.com>
Albuquerque, NM - Wednesday, June 1, 2005 1:05 AM CDT

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Hi Kristy & Aidan,

So glad I got to see you once more. I'll be emailing my picture to you tonight wearing the orange bracelets.

Take Care. Stay Strong.

Joleen
Joleen Trudel (HAB) <jtrudel@duvalhouse.com>
Edmonton, AB - Tuesday, May 31, 2005 4:53 PM CDT

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hi kristy my journal entry did not gat entered
me and kayla have prctice at centenail tonight at 6:30 so we can't come ver tonight well got to go maybe tommorrow night most likly sorry
love you lots aidan
love katie maygard
katie maygard <katrinemaygard@msn.com>
wetaskiwin, alberta canada - Tuesday, May 31, 2005 11:33 AM CDT

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kristy
me and kayla can most liky not be able to come ove after supper because allison has ball in camrose and my dad wants to go out to beer and wings with sunny and steve so if any way posible we will try to come and see you and aidan oh yay and i got a surprise for you and justins mom something to say i am thinking of you kinda thing well got to go aidan and i hope to see you tonight and i will tell you about the big bump on my head love you lots
love katie maygard aka silly lilly according to conor
katie mayard aka silly lilly according to conor <katriemaygard@msn.com>
wetaskiwin, alberta canada - Monday, May 30, 2005 4:34 PM CDT

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Hi Kristy and Aidan
Thanks for all your wonderful help this week and weekend.
Rella I will always remember the drop and roll episode.
You were great help for me
Love Monika
www.caringbridge.org/mi/ireland <murrayireladn@Shaw.ca>
- Monday, May 30, 2005 1:31 PM CDT

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Hi Conor! Cassandra has a big day Monday and so do you.We know she will do well.You and I share a few secrets and your mom is very strong and one day we'll share them all together.Love you...Pop
Don Pacholka ( Kristy's Dad) <d_pacholka@hotmail.com>
Cypress "visiting", ca USA - Monday, May 30, 2005 1:08 AM CDT

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Hey Little Buddy,
Tomorrow is the big day! I am so nervous! I know you will be with me in spirit and that is the only way I am going to be able to convince myself to get in that FREEZING water again. We tested it out today and it was about 68 degrees. Take a look down..cheer me on.. continue to inspire me to do my best. Sending up lots of love and a big ol huggaroo.
Cassandra <cmraven@msn.com>
Albuquerque, NM - Sunday, May 29, 2005 8:22 PM CDT

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You all are in my thoughts and prayers.
Loved the drawing of conner. So beautiful.
Kristi Schoolfield <snickles04@comcast.net>
flint, mi USA - Sunday, May 29, 2005 9:33 AM CDT

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Thinking of you today...
" Rock On!"
Gina
Beaumont, - Sunday, May 29, 2005 9:32 AM CDT

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Just wanted to let you know you're all in my thoughts. I know how difficult these days are. Hug each other tight, and feel Justin's love.
Marcia, Stephen, Nicole, Meghan, Kayla, Chrissy, Emily and Angels Sonja and Tanner, hug a bug http://fivegoofs.tripod.com <marciat@sympatico.ca>
Bradford, ON - Saturday, May 28, 2005 6:39 PM CDT

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Justin sounds like an incredible young man, we are very sorry his family's loss and for your loss in him as a friend and inspiration.

And what a wonderful drawing of the Thomas Man himself!

Terry, Mary, Nicholas and Julianna Banana <tjosephson@shaw.ca>
Winnipeg, Canada - Thursday, May 26, 2005 4:07 PM CDT

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Hey Little Man,the drawing is Beautiful,she captured your smile so well.Miss you baby,I'll Love You Forever.nana
carol mercer <conaid@magma.ca>
ottawa on , ca - Thursday, May 26, 2005 9:41 AM CDT

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Kristy,
The drawing of Conor is breathtaking. Your entries are beautiful and filled with such grace. You truely amaze me. I'm sure Conor is very proud.
Thinking of you today and always
Pam <lakenormanheat@yahoo.com>
Denver, NC USA - Thursday, May 26, 2005 7:45 AM CDT

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Hi Kristy,

I am so sorry to hear about Justin. Thinking of you ...and Aidan .... and Conor... he will have so much fun with Justin.......... Words cannot express the sadness.....


Heather <hbuchana@telus.net>
Calgary, AB - Thursday, May 26, 2005 1:27 AM CDT

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To the Ford Family,
I am still coming here, I don't sign in alot though. I am still thinking of Conor alot and am now sending my deepest sympathies to you for the loss of a very dear and brave friend. I love Justin's spirit, spunk and attitude, but most of all I felt so much love from his Momma Bear and family whenever I went to that site. Just like your site, it is so real. I can see why you guys are such great friends. Your heart must be hurting so bad. Please take care, there are lots of people thinking of you.
Trina De Luca <phildeluca@shaw.ca>
Sherwood Park, AB - Thursday, May 26, 2005 1:08 AM CDT

---

kristy
can't come over tonight because my mom and
dad have a baseball game i was dissipointed to hear
about justins news i wrote a nice jornal entry in his
guest book
well got to go
bi bi
love katie maygard
katie maygard <katrinemaygard@msn.com>
wetaskiwin, ab canada - Wednesday, May 25, 2005 5:29 PM CDT

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I'm at a loss for words.Justin was an amazing young man with alot of courage and strenght.He is now in Heaven with Conor.I know you are hurting Kristy.I'm glad that the Irelands have you for support.Thinking of you during this time.You have many fun filled memories of Justin that I know you will cherish forever.
My Number 1 Dad's Site <brurka@shaw.ca>
EDMONTON,ALBERTA CANADA, - Wednesday, May 25, 2005 5:11 PM CDT

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Hi Guys,
I just signed the book and it didn't go in???
Anyway, sending you happy thoughts and big hugs today. Smile a million smiles, I am thinking about you today.
Thanks very much Kristy for all your help with Brooklyn's Brithday party. It wouldn't of happend without ya. Brooklyn's dream of having a swimming party came true! Conor I know you were there...saved baby Ry a few times :0)
Brooklyn loves her new orange Bracelet! We will get our pictures to you. You may have to take it...hehehe
Gina
Beaumont, - Wednesday, May 25, 2005 11:59 AM CDT

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I love the drawing of Conor! It is absolutely beautiful. Praying for you and your family.
Heidi Dempsey <dempseyh@ecsd.net>
Spruce Grove, AB Canada - Wednesday, May 25, 2005 0:01 AM CDT

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Hi Conor.. you bet I will send a picture to your Mom tomorrow with my bracelet on ..... Go Cassandra Go !!!!

Conor your picture is beautiful...just like you...

Kristy .. another amazing entry......... hugs to Aidan...
Heather <hbuchana@telus.net>
Calgary, AB - Tuesday, May 24, 2005 10:48 PM CDT

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Hi guys
My teachers wife Lucy Ernst had a baby.
It is a boy
His name is Joshua Alan Ernst.
He was born on May 19th,2005
Love you lots conor
Kayla maygard <kaylamaygard@msn.com>
Wetaskiwin , ab canada - Tuesday, May 24, 2005 5:34 PM CDT

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Hi Conor
Wewent to the train muesum. It was fun.The lady lets some people where her hat. I wore it and so did Katie.
We thought about you
Your mommy told us u loved to go on the train.
Aidan went in a mini train and kept on honnking the horn.
He evan scared the corductor.
It was funny.
We all miss you lots
Aidan is starting to talk lots about you
We were talking on the way home from the train muesum
Aidan started to call me a baby
than I called him a woman and other names that were nice.
Love you lots
kayla
Kayla Maygard <kaylamaygard@msn.com>
Wetaskiwin, ab canada - Tuesday, May 24, 2005 5:28 PM CDT

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hi kristy
allison's baseball game starts at 6.30 at the kinsmine dimon my grandparents migh be there i'll call you if allison baseball game is cancelled
love you aidan
love katie maygard
p.s. love the drawing of conor
hope to see ya soon
love katie maygard
katie maygard <katrinemaygard@msn.com>
wetaskiwin , alberta canada - Tuesday, May 24, 2005 5:03 PM CDT

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Hi Kristy,

Me and all my friends got our 'Never Give Up' bracelets from Monika. I'd love to send you a pic of us PROUDLY displaying them so you can send them to Cassandra. Thinking of you always.

**Hugs to you and your family**

Joleen
Joleen Trudel <jtrudel@duvalhouse.com>
Edmonton, AB - Tuesday, May 24, 2005 11:54 AM CDT

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Kristy, I'm sure that Aidan sees Conor, and that was a sign for you. Something no one else could have taught Aidan. I was told that kids and pets see our loved ones, because they don't have the same doubts that we have. He is with you.
The pic looks great on the site! Rita is amazing!
Looking forward to getting my bracelet so that I can proudly share it with everyone I meet.
Love,

Marcia and the gang, HugABug http://fivegoofs.tripod.com <marciat@sympatico.ca>
- Monday, May 23, 2005 10:46 PM CDT

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You're right Kristy, I dont think you could have snuck it by me :) Thank you so much. Everyone thanks me and tells me its amazing..its courageous..its honorable, etc. I wish they wouldnt. I wish I didn't have a reason to do it. Unfortunately, it's one of the only things I can do. I tell them I do it for the kids. They should thank the parents and the kids for fighting everyday and for their strength. Yes, I know there are adults with leukemia, but you know me, I would do anything for a kid. I just use what I have, to do what I can. How could I not? My coach told me once that a bad day of training was better than a good day of chemo. I believe that. I also believe that the physical pain from the running, cycling or swimming, is miniscule to the amount of pain felt when you lose a child. I have not felt that pain and I hope the closest I ever come, is losing Conor. He, and you touched me before he lost his battle. He grabbed me from the start and I could not let go. I felt the painful emptiness deep inside me..from the pit of my stomach or somewhere I can not describe, when he died. I could not imagine what you were feeling. I had nothing to say except that I was there. I am still here. Ill always be here. I will ALWAYS keep Conor in my heart and draw strength from his spirit. Sometimes, when the run is REALLY hard, I say "Come on Conor, Could you help me out a little?!?!? a breeze..SOMETHING!!". You know I would run a marathon for you everyday if it meant that you could still have him. You always said you knew what the outcome would be..and so did Conor. Thank you for being strong enough to recognize that you did everything you could and made his life the best you could and continuing to do that for Aidan. That's what changed me. Your loss did not change me. He changed me. You changed me. It was a lot gained before your loss, not because of it. It was because you allowed Conor to LIVE everyday. I did gain a friend.. but I believe that would have been the case no matter what. The crazy woman that doesnt hit the edit key... I thought that was just you. Its pretty funny and maybe its a bad thing that most of the time I agree?? THANK YOU for helping me out with this and being out of your mind with me and forgetting with me. IM not sure I can mention reminding me about anything. Thank you for allowing me to honor your little boy. It's the least I could do for him and you. When should I start training for the 100 mile bike ride? The rest of you reading this, thank you for your support. This coming Monday, I'll need it!!

Cassandra Cassandra's Site <cmraven@msn.com>
Albuquerque, NM - Monday, May 23, 2005 6:51 PM CDT

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Kristy, the drawing of Conner is beautiful!! I remember the first time I came to your page I thought he was the cutest little boy I've seen, he was wearing a cowboy hat and you could see all hes curls I love that picture and ever since then he stole my heart. I will always remeber you sweet boy.



God bless
www.caringbridge.org/ca/nikicamarena
Sally Torres <sally_torres@lusknet.com>
anaheim, - Monday, May 23, 2005 6:28 PM CDT

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Kristy I did read Justin's entry in here and it broke my heart.Justin is truly an amazing young man with lots of courage and strength.I admire him for all he is doing.Living each day one day at a time.He's a hero in my eyes.
My Number 1 Dad's Site <brurka@shaw.ca>
EDMONTON,ALBERTA CANADA, - Monday, May 23, 2005 4:56 PM CDT

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Wow the drawing of Conor is amazing.I love it.It sure shows his character and his spirit.I'm so glad that Cassandra met the goal.I keep you and your family close to my heart along with Justin and his fight.You are both truly amazing families with so much courage.I'm glad that Justin's family has you in there life as they go on with there journey.You help so many Kristy.I'm glad that we are friends.Take Care and remember that I love you all.Thinking of you always.
My Number 1 Dad's Site <brurka@shaw.ca>
EDMONTON,ALBERTA CANADA, - Monday, May 23, 2005 4:46 PM CDT

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Kristy,

I hope you managed to find a little of that magic you were looking for on Mothers day. You are so right - being a mom is such a joy and is the greatest gift any child can give.
Susan (Katie's Mom); Katie's page
Ottawa, Canada - Saturday, May 21, 2005 6:33 PM CDT

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Thinking of you today.
Ashley Seratt <aseratt@ycinet.net>
Newbern, TN USA - Wednesday, May 18, 2005 1:17 PM CDT

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hi kristy its justin..i thought i would stop by and say hi to u and aidan..miss ya little budy..cant wait to party wit u again..i jsut want to thank u for letting me be apart of ur life and conors and aidans..and im glad u guys r apart of mine...i think bot conor everyday...dont worry he wont be alone for much longer...its gonna be great to see him again..i jsut want to say thank u and ill never forget u or aidan..love u lots

justin
justin ireland <clowns_hate_me@msn.com>
fort. sack, - Tuesday, May 17, 2005 3:49 PM CDT

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Kristy, You did a wonderful job on Sunday, along with the others that helped put the memorial together. The venue was awesome, We will never for get the great memories we have of Conor, We sure had fun making the tiles. I wish baby RY would of stayed for the whole candle lighting ceremony, well next year!
Gina
Beaumont, - Tuesday, May 17, 2005 9:07 AM CDT

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Just letting you know that I'm thinking of you

always.Conor Jason told me to tell you that he misses

you.He will always remember the fun he had with you

playing in the dirt.



My Number 1 Dad's Site <brurka@shaw.ca>
Edmonton,Alberta Canada, - Tuesday, May 17, 2005 0:18 AM CDT

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Happy Mothers Day to you to Kristy! Thank you for reminding us that those dirty fingers and muddy footprints wont always be there, one day they will disappear, maybe not for several years, but one day they wont be there anymore, and to enjoy them while they are here.
Rhonda Mantai <mantai@shaw.ca>
calgary, - Monday, May 16, 2005 2:59 PM CDT

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Conor,
Brooklyn's wind chimes, chimed the other day for the first time since we moved into our new house. I said hello conor... They have a very beautiful sound. Thank you for being such a good friend to Brooklyn. You were Brooklyn's first friend, boyfriend, that she met herself ( not by the mom's being friends first...)
Thank you Conor for interducing us to your family. You Fords are amazing people, we are looking forward to seeing you today.
Gina
Beaumont, - Sunday, May 15, 2005 10:26 AM CDT

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kristy, you are such a good mom. you inspire me to be a better mom. thank you for being in my life
becky
- Saturday, May 14, 2005 0:39 AM CDT

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Connor,
When ever i come on your page you put tears on my face, but then i smile will apear. You made me smile so much, you were one of the coolest little kids i knew. Me , you , and cassie used to play for hours.. hide and seek being your favorite. You always had a smile on you face, which lifted up others when they were down.. Everyone misses you being here connor. I thouht i would just say Hi and i love you lots.
Missing adn thinkin of you
Taryn
Taryn Irwin <foxi_roxy_9909@hotmail.com>
Camrose, ab Canada - Thursday, May 12, 2005 5:56 PM CDT

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Perfectly said. Perfect music. Perfect love.
Lisa Post <LMPOST@cox.net>
- Thursday, May 12, 2005 1:50 PM CDT

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I'm Jaydogs Grandma Jennie and I just wanted to say
"Thank You!" I just read the do's and don'ts and I
think you put it perfectly.
Jaydog's Grandma Jennie <jque2@yahoo.com>
- Thursday, May 12, 2005 1:25 PM CDT

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kristy
happy belated mothers day i might come and viset you tonight my friends birthday it on friday and my mom's base ball game is tommorrow so today is the last day that i can see you aidan now that i think about it it has been a long tome since i seen you well hope to see you tonight love you lots aidan
p.s. today would be a good kite foyong day
katie <katrinemaygard@msn.com>
wetaskiwin, ab canada - Wednesday, May 11, 2005 11:37 AM CDT

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Hi Conor, Sunday I drove by a "Children's Hospital" here and immediately thought of you and the others.Monday I received your bracelet and showed it whenever I could ."NEVER GIVE UP" Love You! xxx'ooo
Don Pacholka . Dad,Pop <d_pacholka@hotmail.com>
Cypress "visiting", CA USA - Tuesday, May 10, 2005 1:42 AM CDT

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Love you billy.
momma
- Tuesday, May 10, 2005 0:01 AM CDT

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Kristy,
Happy Mother's Day!!! Hope you had a good one. Again your entry was beautiful, you have a wonderful way with words.
Thinking of you always
Kathy
Kathy Wadden <kwadden@wm.com>
St. John's, Nl Canada - Monday, May 9, 2005 12:43 AM CDT

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I love when you tell stories about Conor! I love the fact that you let him be a kid. I love the fact that you nursed him and coslept with he and Aidan because I know how happy they are to have you too. You enjoy every minute. Like we know there is never enough minutes! So many people wonder why we do all those things with Lilli, and you know what, you make it all so clear why. Because they are young for only so long and dammit they really make great company dont they? I hope you had a nice Mothers Day. That sounds like a great story Aidan told you. You are a amazing Mother and Conor and Aidan are lucky to have you as you are lucky to have them. Sending positive thoughts your way. Take care.
Liz <jinx.kihlstrom@verizon.net>
Kirkland, Wa USA - Monday, May 9, 2005 10:35 AM CDT

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Happy Mother's Day Kristy... I am sure Conor is looking down on you and smiling. Take care.
Ron <ron@borsholm.ca>
Victoria, BC Canada - Sunday, May 8, 2005 10:51 PM CDT

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Happy Mother's Day Kristy!

May you enjoy this special day with Aidan.... and find some magic from Conor ...

Being a MOM is the greatest gift and Kristy you represent the "true meaning" of Mother ......
Heather <hbuchana@telus.net>
Calgary, AB - Sunday, May 8, 2005 10:44 PM CDT

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Hi Kristy,

Happy Mother's Day. Enjoy your special Day.

**Hugs to you and your family**

Joleen
Joleen Trudel <jtrudel@duvalhouse.com>
Edmonton, Ab - Sunday, May 8, 2005 9:03 PM CDT

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Hey Kristy,
Happy Mother's Day!
Teresa <teresaflett@hotmail.com>
Edmonton, Canada - Sunday, May 8, 2005 7:33 PM CDT

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What a beautiful entry today. Happy mother's day to you.
Briana Roehling
Pflugerville, TX - Sunday, May 8, 2005 5:32 PM CDT

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HAPPY MOTHERS DAY KRISTY, I MEAN IT YOU ARE THE BEST MOM!!! I LOOK UP TO YOU AS A MOTHER, YOU HAVE ALREADY TOUGHT ME SO MUCH ABOUT BEING A MOM, AND I HAVEN'T EVEN STARTED A FAMILY YET. I KNOW ONE THING WHEN THE DAY DOES COME FOR ME...I WON'T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF I WILL DEFINATELY CELEBRATE IT INSTEAD. LOSING CONOR HAS TOUGHT ME TO CELEBRATE EVERY DAY, I WILL PASS THAT ON TO MY FAMILY.
YOU HAVE TOUCHED MANY LIVES, ESPECIALLY YOUR FAMILY, YOU MADE EVERY MINUTE YOU SPENT WITH CONOR SPECIAL, AND YOU CONTINUE TO DO THAT WITH AIDAN. DARREN AND AIDAN ARE SO LUCKY TO HAVE YOU IN THEIR LIVES, YOU ARE A BEAUTIFUL PERSON INSIDE AND OUT, YOU ARE A WONDERFUL FRIEND AND A MOM, I HOPE YOU HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY FILLED WITH LOTS OF SLOPPY KISSES FROM AIDAN (AND DARREN TOO) AND PRECIOUS MEMORIES OF CONOR. I LOVE YOU!!
Glenda <glendaroche@ns.sympatico.ca>
Dartmouth, - Sunday, May 8, 2005 4:39 PM CDT

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Happy Mother's Day, Kristy...

Love The "Allen's"
Carolyn
- Sunday, May 8, 2005 4:29 PM CDT

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Happy mothers Day Kristy, Hope this day is filled with lots of warm thoughts and memories
Bina <bruparelia@hotmail.com>
Bermuda, - Sunday, May 8, 2005 2:22 PM CDT

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Happy Mothers Day!
I am so glad we are friends...your mothering skills are rubbing off on me(that's a good thing!)You are one of a kind!
Enjoy your day, I am sure Conor has a surprise waiting for you today, and Aidan and Darren will spoil ya!
Talk to you soon
Gina
Beaumont, - Sunday, May 8, 2005 8:36 AM CDT

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My Loving Dad's Site <brurka@shaw.ca>
Edmonton,Alberta Canada, - Sunday, May 8, 2005 3:09 AM CDT

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Thinking of you and wishing you a very Happy Mother's Day.
Margaret Ciacciarelli <mmchick@comcast.net www.Mighty-Max.com>
- Saturday, May 7, 2005 9:29 PM CDT

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Just checking in. I hope your Mother's Day is filled with warm memories, and lots of hugs and kisses from sweet Aidan.
Love,
Marcia and the gang, HugABug http://fivegoofs.tripod.com <marciat@sympatico.ca>
- Saturday, May 7, 2005 10:09 AM CDT

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Hi, I haven't signed your guestbook in awhile, but I want to say thank you for your journal entries. I am heading towards the path that you have walked, and the words that you write down are so powerful, and they help me, and make my family understand so much better! Thank you
www.caringbridge.org/canada/matthew
Nicole Epp <nikepp@hotmail.com>
Fiske, Sk Canada - Friday, May 6, 2005 11:45 PM CDT

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Happy Mother's Day to an awesome Mommy-hopefully you can feel the warmth of your two special sons.
Trina De Luca <phildeluca@shaw.ca>
Sherwood Park, AB - Friday, May 6, 2005 11:24 PM CDT

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Hoping you have a Happy Mothers Day, and spend the day remembering the good times with your son.
Chris & Gooch
- Friday, May 6, 2005 10:58 PM CDT

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Kristy,It was long time since I last cried reading a web site.It happened twice today. First at the news that another child I know is becoming an angel and now reading your last entry. You have a way with words that just touches the inner cords in my soul.I can feel your pain because many times I saw myself in your place. There are no words , I am afraid that can warm you up. I would just like to hug you.
Much love, Mari
www.caringbridge.org/me/chiara
- Friday, May 6, 2005 9:40 PM CDT

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hi kristy
thanks for coffee and muffins this morning. thanks for the help on the pictures. aidan are you going to tell me your story yet?
happy mother's day!
monika www.caringbridge.org/mi/ireland <murrayireland@shaw.ca>
- Friday, May 6, 2005 9:10 PM CDT

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Hi Sweet Little Angel,I was gardening and thinking of you,the Sir Thomas rose bush is growing so well,I'm still amazed at the name of that rose bush,I'd say that its a special gift from a little angel named Conor.Miss you so much,always thinking of you.Ill love you forever.Nana
carol mercer <conaid@magma.ca>
ottawa on , ca - Friday, May 6, 2005 2:06 PM CDT

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Keeping you close in our hearts today...miss you Conor!


Nan & Pop
Dartmouth, NS - Wednesday, May 4, 2005 9:15 PM CDT

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I am so sorry for your pain. I can only imagine how proud Conor is to have you for his mother ~ the love you have is amazing...
Beth
Schoolcraft, MI - Wednesday, May 4, 2005 3:50 PM CDT

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Surprised I can see through the tears to sign your guestbook, Kristy. Your latest entry is beautiful and oh so heartbreaking.

Conor, do me a big favor and send a little bit of your famous courage Claudia's way over the next few days. She's a little bit freaked out about doctors right now. Thanks, buddy!

Love
Stacey Suire <stacey@nbta-eng.com>
Baton Rouge, LA USA - Tuesday, May 3, 2005 4:15 PM CDT

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I received my "Never Give Up" wristband today.

A package has been sent to the Childrens' Hospital in Calgary, in memory of Conor. It was filled with train stuff, mostly Thomas.

Kristy, you really have no idea how many lives your family has touched. I will remember Conor always, even though I've never met any of you in person.

Your words in your journal have made me a more patient and appreciative Mother. Thank you for sharing.
Anon E. Mouse
Alberta, - Tuesday, May 3, 2005 1:55 PM CDT

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Hi Kristy & Aiden,
It was great meeting you at the lake. I often visit your site (found it through Justin)& enjoy all your thoughts & words. You did great on your drive this week end & remember I said that next time will be easier to find your way. Aiden gets to drive the boat..Wayne promised. Take care.
Shirley M <samayo@telus.net>
Bville Land of Lake, - Monday, May 2, 2005 11:46 PM CDT

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Hey Kristy!!

Sounds like you guys had an AWESOME time at the lake. Take Care. Stay Strong.

**Hugs to you and your family**
Joleen (HAB)
Joleen Trudel <jtrudel@duvalhouse.com>
Edmonton, AB - Monday, May 2, 2005 11:38 AM CDT

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Kristy, You did it again! What a beautiful entry. Thanks for keeping Conor's site going. I love the picture!! Two little brother cubs...
So Guess WHAT!! Brooklyn is having a Grad ceremony! And you and Aidan and Darren are MORE then welcome to come! So you don't have to e-mail Mr. Gamache and give him the gear's... HEHEHE
I hope you had a wonderful time with the Ierland's this weekend
Gina <gparnell@telus.net>
Beaumont, - Monday, May 2, 2005 9:51 AM CDT

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A beautiful entry. We miss you Conor, But your smile will always warm my heart.
Pam <lakenormanheat@yahoo.com>
Denver, NC USA - Monday, May 2, 2005 8:37 AM CDT

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Hi Conor, i heard "puff the magic dragon" last night, i remember your mommy singing that to you as you were going to sleep when you were a tiny little baby. I Miss You!! Love ,Glenda. Kristy, this is for you, darren and aidan (((Hugs)))
Glenda and Mike <glendaroche@ns.sympatico.ca>
Dartmouth, - Sunday, May 1, 2005 5:17 PM CDT

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Hi Kristy.
I love the two new pictures.
Carolin O came to our school for Short Cut to The Cure.
I encurage eneryone to cut there hair or shave it.
It is a great cause.
Last year katie Maygard made $600.00 AND more.
She did great
Have a great weekend.
kayla maygard <kaylamaygard@msn.com>
Conor home town Wetaskiwin, Ab - Saturday, April 30, 2005 12:10 AM CDT

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What a beautiful entry. I've never heard that version of It's My Life before - the song takes on a whole different meaning when he sings it like that, doesn't it?

Hope you're keeping warm in this little cold blast we're having...
Connie (Hug A Bug) <Bogeymama2000@yahoo.ca>
Calgary, Alberta - Friday, April 29, 2005 11:31 PM CDT

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Your entry is beautiful. You are in my prayers.
Heidi Dempsey <heididempsey@ecsd.net>
Spruce Grove, AB Canada - Friday, April 29, 2005 10:54 PM CDT

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Hello Kristy.

That poem was very touching. Thanks for sharing. I hope you and Aiden have fun at the lake with Justin and all his friends. Despite the weather, I'm sure it will be a BLAST!!!

Thinking of you always.
**Hugs to you and your family**

Joleen Trudel
Joleen Trudel (HAB) <jtrudel@duvalhouse.com>
Edmonton, AB - Friday, April 29, 2005 5:20 PM CDT

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Hi Sweet Angel Conor,I'm so happy you put your head next to mommy's,you always knew when she was sad and somehow mamaged to cheer her up a little,you are so missed.Trying to understand why this had to happen to you is so hard.I keep looking for an answer,I know I'll never find one,nobody can ever explain why you died,you fought so hard,mommy and daddy gave all they had,we all prayed ,begged, made promises,nothing worked,nobody ever gave up on you,we tried so hard.I have beautiful memories,lots of pictures,all the cards you've sent me,the pictures you drew ,my frog ,the very first mothers day gift from you,my orange flowers,remember that day you bought them,myself and Aidan were downtown calgary ,mommy called and said you have a surprise for us so could we come to the hospital right away,we took the bus straught to you.We walked in the room and you passed aidan and me gifts all in pretty gift bags,you were so excited,making people happy was so important to you,hugs and kisses from you were incredible.Keep coming to see Mommy and next time stick your stinky toes in her nose,i remember you doing that to her all the time.Ill Love You Forever.Nana
carol mercer <conaid@magma.ca>
ottawa on , ca - Friday, April 29, 2005 3:53 PM CDT

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Oh Kristy,
Your entry is so touching you sure have a way with words.
I LOVE THE NEW PICTURE!! I love seen which picture's will go up next.Take care Kristy,Aidan,and Darren.I'm always thinking of you.

Conor we miss you and love you lots.Sending big hugs and kisses to you in Heaven.
<brurka@shaw.ca>
Edmonton,Alberta Canada, - Friday, April 29, 2005 3:25 PM CDT

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Thinking of you. I love the new pictures. I am always drawn to Conor's site. Please keep updating.
Ashley Seratt <aseratt@ycinet.net>
Newbern , TN USA - Friday, April 29, 2005 2:30 PM CDT

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hi kristy
love the new pictures of conor and aidan
conor loved his brobract mr. teady had a brobrakt
din't he???? i hope you are able to find mr.teady conor probley hid it in the mist of some where
i miss him lots
hope to see you tonight
love you lots willy (aidan)
love katie maygard
love katie maygard <katrinemaygard@msn.com>
wetaskiwin , alberta canada - Friday, April 29, 2005 11:35 AM CDT

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((((Kristy, Aiden Darren))) Sometimes a hug is helps a little. I hope this helps. Thanks you for the entry it is beautiful.
Liz <jinx.kihlstrom@verizon.net>
kirkland, wa usa - Friday, April 29, 2005 10:04 AM CDT

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Thanks for sharing...

Love the "Allen's"
Carolyn
GP, - Friday, April 29, 2005 10:01 AM CDT

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What an amazing poem Kristy. Thank you so much for sharing it with us all.
Tracy M Hug a Bug <tmangin@sympatico.ca>
Windsor, ON Canada - Friday, April 29, 2005 8:29 AM CDT

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Words cannot describe how I feel after reading your journal entry.

Know that you are in my thoughts, and as I play "Snuggle Puppy" for Tanner Conor will run thru my mind.

Also, you are teaching us.

Suzy
www.tannerlaughs.com
www.caringbridge.org/ca/rebeccalynn
Suzy <Tanlaughs1@aol.com>
- Friday, April 29, 2005 6:54 AM CDT

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Thinking of you tonight Conor......and your family.
Heather <hbuchana@telus.net>
Calgary, - Friday, April 29, 2005 1:10 AM CDT

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bbbbbbbbbbbuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
it's cold outside allison has baseball practice
and i am going to seira's play tonight at sacret
hart she is preforming to get the school to become a preforming arts school
well got to go
love you aidan
love katie maygard
p.s. love the new jornal entry
love you all
katie maygard <katrinemaygard@msn.com>
wetakiwin, alberta canada - Thursday, April 28, 2005 4:36 PM CDT

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Hi Guys, I tried emailing you, but not sure if I still have the right address. Anyway were up and running, come have a look. www.danielmclellan.ca
Brad McLellan <bmclellan@danielmclellan.ca>
Halifax, - Wednesday, April 27, 2005 8:00 PM CDT

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I came to see
the wonderful
background that
Brenda did...
she just did a new
one for Craig....

sending you lots of love

Craig, Lauren, and Helen

CRAIGGY
helen <trula1@comcast.net>
- Wednesday, April 27, 2005 5:41 PM CDT

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Hi Kristy, Thanks for putting the site back up. I think of Conor so often - my daughter really loves the Going to Bed Book, and every time I read it to her, I think of Conor. April is almost over ... the flowers will soon be here...
Connie (Hug A Bug) <Bogeymama2000@yahoo.ca>
Calgary, Alberta - Tuesday, April 26, 2005 9:07 PM CDT

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Hi Kristy. Just wanted to pop in and leave a ((hug)) for you. Share it a bit with Aidan and Darren too.


Lise <caileykyle@yahoo.com>
Toronto, ON Canada - Tuesday, April 26, 2005 7:52 PM CDT

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Great news on the fundraiser! It's so heartwarming to hear that Conor is still impacting on people today. Congratulations to all who helped out!
Tracy M Hug a Bug <tmangin@sympatico.ca>
Windsor, ON Canada - Tuesday, April 26, 2005 12:10 AM CDT

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dont know if you have read this or not, but I saw it on a fellow heart moms site www.kolbeywaynebancroft.com and I thought of you.

Remembering....
Go ahead and mention my child,
The one that died,
You know.
Don't worry about hurting me further;
The depth of my pain doesn't show.
Don't worry about making me cry;
I'm already crying inside.
Help me to heal by releasing
The tears that I try to hide.
I'm hurt when you just keep silent,
Pretending he doesn't exist.
I'd rather you mention my child,
Knowing that he has been missed.
You asked me how I was doing,
I say "pretty good" or "fine"
But healing is something on going;
It will take a lifetime.

Suzy (www.tannerlaughs.com) (www.caringbridge.org/ca/rebeccalynn <tanlaughs1@aol.com>
- Tuesday, April 26, 2005 1:01 AM CDT

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Kristi, please help. I want to do something to help cancer research. i have alot of will power and i want to use it for this... If u have any ideas at all please feel free to tell me....Luv cassie
If there is anyone else out there with ideas for a 12 year old girl can do something for cancer please pplease tell me thanx email me at lulu_hawai@hotmail.com
cassie <lulu_hawai@hotmail.com>
wetaskiwin, alb canada - Monday, April 25, 2005 9:14 PM CDT

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Hey Kristi, I miss you and aiden yet i live next door..... I guess im just always so busy... Hi Aiden hows it goin buddy...Kristi whats ur email???
Luv Cassie
Cassie <lulu_hawai@hotmail.com>
wetaskiwin, alb canada - Monday, April 25, 2005 6:22 PM CDT

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Hi Guys
Thinking of you, Thinking of Conor
Enjoy the sun shine
See you soon

Gina <gparnell@telus.net>
Beaumont, - Monday, April 25, 2005 1:29 PM CDT

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I'm so happy that Conor's site is back up and available to all. I was so worried that I wouldn't ever have the chance to get another Conor "fix." Thank you for your courage, for opening his site back up and for being able to express so clearly the needs of your family.

Meghan McFadden <Smilneyz@aol.com>
Renton, WA 98059 - Saturday, April 23, 2005 6:57 PM CDT

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Hi Kristy

Just dropping in to say hello and to see Conor's beatiful face. PLEASE if you ever come down to Mount Pearl again come in and see us.

Love Race and Carolyn Hanlon
Carolyn & Race Hanlon <Carolyn.Hanlon@c-core.ca>
Mount Pearl, NL Canada - Saturday, April 23, 2005 2:11 PM CDT

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dear kristy
good morning
hope to see you and brittany tommarro
after supper right.
b/c i got baseball at 1:00
you and aidan should come to one of my baseball
games some time see how bad me and clutso
(kayla) are at playing ahahahhahahhaah
well got to go
bye bye
katie maygard and family <katrinemaygard@msn.com>
wetakiwin , alberta canada - Saturday, April 23, 2005 9:55 AM CDT

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I was just thinking of you. I have the pictures of us that you sent hung up in the office when I was looking at them I thought of Conor and decided to have a look for him. I'm so glad to see his smiling face again. Thanks
Kathy
Kathy Wadden <kwadden@wm.com>
St. John's, NL - Friday, April 22, 2005 2:15 PM CDT

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Thinking of you today and Always.
LOVE BRENDA My Loving Dad's Site <brurka@shaw.ca>
Edmonton,Alberta CANADA, - Friday, April 22, 2005 12:28 AM CDT

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Hey Little Man,I remember going to the "Beach" with you one day,what fun we had,off we went you me and your iv pole,I could hardly keep up with you.We ran,you couldn't wait to get there.I remember on the way back you had to do your pee,now that was a challenge, getting you ,the pole and me in the bathroom ,what a sight that was.That was the very first time I took you to the" Beach".I'm so glad I have those memories of you at the Stollery and like mommy said its a great hospital with a amazing staff.I miss you baby.I'll Love You Forever.Nana
carol mercer <conaid@magma.ca>
ottawa on , ca - Friday, April 22, 2005 9:50 AM CDT

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Hi Kristy
I heard them talking on the radio-thon this morning about Conor and what a special little guy he was.The song you have on your homepage was the song they put McKayla's interview to last year it is so beautiful,we were on again this morning supporting the Stollery it is such an amazing place. Jodi and McKayla

Jodi Phelan <jodiphelan@hotmail.com>
Sherwood Park, AB Canada - Thursday, April 21, 2005 3:43 PM CDT

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Hey Conor. Just wanted to let you know IM thinking about you and your family. The other night I played the Thomas and the Magic Railroad Game with Brendon. Geez what up with the buffers? Oh well at least we got Lady outta there! Did you ever play that game? I imagine you probably liked it if you did. Thanks for helping me in spin class the other day. Who ever thought up doing push ups while you are pedaling a bike anyway?? Whats up with that? Always in my thoughts little man..
Cassandra Cassandra's Site <cmraven@msn.com>
Albuquerque, NM - Wednesday, April 20, 2005 5:46 PM CDT

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Hi.U dont know me but i know you through Justin...I have found your page a few months ago and have been reading it ever since....justin tells us lots of stories to do with Conor...Just thought i would leave a message/
Nicole Kelly <Super_princess1986@hotmail.com>
fort saskatchewan , - Wednesday, April 20, 2005 2:16 PM CDT

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Thinking of you !! Chat soon, Love Glenda
Glenda <glendaroche@ns.sympatico.ca>
Dartmouth, - Wednesday, April 20, 2005 1:42 PM CDT

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Claudia was looking at the pictures of where Darren works with the bears up on the tower this week. She said that she hopes there are purple polar bears in Heaven and that Conor gets to play with them every day. :-)

We still think and talk about you guys all the time. Conor is never far from our hearts.

Love you,
Stacey <stacey@nbta-eng.com>
Baton Rouge, LA USA - Wednesday, April 20, 2005 12:29 AM CDT

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Hi Kristy,

I visit almost every day, but have never signed : (

I'm always thinkin' 'bout ya!!

Joleen (HAB)
Joleen Trudel <jtrudel@duvalhouse.com>
Edmonton, AB - Wednesday, April 20, 2005 10:08 AM CDT

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hi kristy
sorry we can't play tonight because me and my mom
have to play baseball you and aidan need should come
and see me or my mom or my sisters play some time
well got to go the bell is going to ring soon
i am at school today
love you all love you too aidan
love katie maygard
p.s. we will most likly be able to play on wednesday
and gess what we have no school on monday yayayyaayaya
hope to see you soon
love katie maygard
katie maygard <katrinemaygard@msn.com>
wetaskwin , alberta canada - Tuesday, April 19, 2005 2:17 PM CDT

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hi kristy
sorry we can't play tonight because me and my mom
have to play baseball you and aidan need should come
and see me or my mom or my sisters play some time
well got to go the bell is going to ring soon
i am at school today
love you all love you too aidan
love katie maygard
p.s. we will most likly be able to play on wednesday
and gess what we have no school on monday yayayyaayaya
hope to see you soon
love katie maygard
katie maygard <katrinemaygard@msn.com>
wetaskwin , alberta canada - Tuesday, April 19, 2005 2:17 PM CDT

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There is a new Hallmark commercial on in the US, not sure if they show it in Canada, but the music is "Somewhere over the rainbow." Every time it comes on I think of Conor and no matter what kind of day I am having, it brings a smile to my face.

Katie
WI USA - Tuesday, April 19, 2005 12:48 AM CDT

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Thinking of you and your family. I haven't been to Conor's site in several months but think of him often.
Cathy Rusyniak <garbmike@optonline.net>
Rockaway, NJ - Tuesday, April 19, 2005 9:36 AM CDT

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Thinking of your family today, especially since the Stollery Radiothon is this week. I bet you are holding and loving that little Aiden like never before. I know our two year olds love us too. They just choose to show it in the middle of WalMart, kicking and screaming and pulling your hair and trying to rip your eyeballs out! Thanx for showing me the beauty in that! I hear your words as it occurs..."welcome it and enjoy it". Thank you for making me a better mamma....lol to Conor and your family...
Trina De Luca <phildeluca@shaw.ca>
Sherwood Park, AB - Tuesday, April 19, 2005 0:07 AM CDT

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Hi Kristy: Just wanted to say Hi. I plan to write about Conor on my blog soon - just need the time to concentrate b/c I know I will get very emotional. I will let you know when I do! Lots of love to you, Aidan & Darren.
Tasha S
bay Area, CA USA - Monday, April 18, 2005 4:06 PM CDT

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I think about you all every day. Much love and hugs from Texas.
Tana and Scott
TX - Monday, April 18, 2005 11:01 AM CDT

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Thinking of you and your family.
Trish Samantha's mama <trishk3@prodigy.net>
- Monday, April 18, 2005 4:43 AM CDT

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Hey Kristy, I love the new picture of Conor he is so beautiful. I think it may be my 3rd favorite to the black and white one in the garden or the one where he is standing up in the chair with that little cowboy shirt on. You are in our thoughts everyday. (((FORDS)))
Liz <jinx.kihlstrom@verizon.net>
Kirkland , Wa USA - Sunday, April 17, 2005 11:39 AM CDT

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Hi Kristy! I woke up thinking about you and decided to look up your Caringbridge site. I knew it was under lock and key, but it didn't stop me for some reason. I was totally surprised to have access. I truly appreciate what you have written. I apologize if I had written anything to you that may have offended you (not sure if I did). If I have hurt you in any way, it was not intended. The sad thing about writing is that one cannot see the body language and emphasis on certain words to know that what is being said is sincere. Kristy, I admire your strength and courage, and that of Conor, to battle the biggest fight of ones life. Your words have made my family closer. You know I work in cancer care. I am faced with patients who are battling this ugly disease daily. Your words have helped me be a better caregiver. All I can say is thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Nancy Beauchemin
Calgary, AB Canada - Sunday, April 17, 2005 11:26 AM CDT

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hi kristy we might come over today
we went shopping yesterday and my mom
has baseball practice this morning at 10:00 so
hope to see you soon
love katie maygard
katie maygard <katrinemaygard@msn.com>
wetaskiwin, alberta canada - Sunday, April 17, 2005 10:05 AM CDT

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WOW (hand smacks forehead) all those heartfelt words, and I spelled Conor's name wrong!! Sorry - force of habit, we have a CoNNor friend, and I guess I just slipped. I actually started writing and intentionally tried to remind myself not to do that, so much for that theory!! At any rate, thank you once again, for sharing your soul. I once gave a friend of mine (Ange - BabyJacob's mom) the words to Holly Cole's 'Cry, if you want to' after her son passed away. This song reminds me of you, it's raw, and real. Just like your writing.
Jen...again
Near Kingston , ON Canada - Saturday, April 16, 2005 0:55 AM CDT

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Kristy…..

I found you site via Julianna Banana’s – and after reading your most recent journal entry I almost didn’t post this, but thought I should. I wanted to thank you for sharing Connor’s journey – I have learned so much about strength from the parents here at CaringBridge…Your family is beautiful, I read your entire journal history one night – and was up until 5am. I had to change my pants before I finally went to bed, because I had soaked my lap with tears – you write with such passion, and vision. I know I’m not the first to suggest that you take up writing professionally, but if I can help urge you to do so, then let me know.

Over the last year I have learned about many children through CaringBridge…unfortunately, too many of them are now angels. Yours is the first site that has brought me any kind of real insight into what this experience must be like. Maybe it’s because you write the way I think? Reading the ‘Do’s and Don’ts’ is helpful, but maybe your journal history should be required reading for those who are trying to support someone who has lost a child! Thank you for your candor, and for letting people know when you are angry – this has helped me learn so much. It’s okay for you to be angry – and I’ve often wondered if parents were, not offended, but maybe slightly ‘put off’ by the long winded prayers, poems, and self-serving stories posted by total strangers. (If this post qualifies as one of these, please forgive me!!!) The advice, while well meaning, must be so damning! I now see how frustrating it would be to have a perky stranger tell you to keep your chin up! I know that many parents do find comfort in this, but you are absolutely right, reading through the parent’s posts should give you a fair idea of their beliefs, motivation, and preferred method of support. Why not take a minute to consider this? I suppose that there can be some comfort in knowing that these gestures are their way of sending you this support, but you have a point by saying that it’s what comforts THEM, and not you.

Your entry from March 7th really touched me – I’m sure lots of other parents have experienced this, but you explained it so well…. for the first time I think I may have had a glimpse of what you are dealing with. That is not to say I "know how you feel” – it’s just that you write so well, that, well, I DO begin to understand how you feel, and WHY. Thank you for that. Thank you for all that you share. Your beautiful boy has touched me, and so have your words. Please consider writing, you have a gift in this.

I thought of you today….and I will think of you tomorrow.

Thank you…


Jen
Near Kingston , ON Canada - Saturday, April 16, 2005 0:38 AM CDT

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Dear Kristy, I received Conor's bracelet in the mail today and as I put it on next to Max's purple one I cried,but what joy I feel when I get to talk about two beautiful boys and what the words COURAGE and NEVER GIVE UP means.Thinking
of you always.Thank you for the Do's and Don't's.It helps so much..Love,Mighty-Max's Granny
Judie Sweeney <judithsween@aol.com>
Chicago, IL USA - Friday, April 15, 2005 10:01 PM CDT

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Wow, what another beautiful picture of Conor. Hi Kristy hope you and Darren and Aidan are doing well. We think about you all the time and hope things are going okay. Say hi to your Mom and Dad for us. We are going to visit Wendy and Jeff and the boys in July. We are actually going up on the Coastal boat to Labrador. Race always told me that he would take me on a cruise someday. Not what I really wanted but I guess it will have to do (ha ha). Take care and love and thoughts to you all.

Love Carolyn and Race
Carolyn & Race Hanlon <Carolyn.Hanlon@nl.rogers.com>
Mount Pearl, NL Canada - Friday, April 15, 2005 6:22 PM CDT

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Hey Little Man,I really missed coming here and am so glad mommy opened it again.I"ve been busy all this week cleaning up your rose garden,I trimmed them back a bit ,but you know all that because I talk to you,I hope you are listening you little monkey.Your lavender I planted last year survived the winter,I was so happy to see it.I ran my fingers over the lavender thinking of you the whole time,my special lavender,I'm going to plant more rose bushes for you and I have 6 huge butterflies that light up at night,I feel you in the garden with me,and I expect to be squirted with the hose at any time.You really loved spraying everyone with the hose.I miss you baby.I'll Love You Forever.Nana
nana <conaid@magma.ca>
ottaw on , ca - Thursday, April 14, 2005 6:32 PM CDT

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Wow that was a very powerful journal you entered.I don't know many people who could express their feelings that well.
Jodi and McKayla

Jodi Phelan <jodiphelan@hotmail.com>
Sherwood Park, AB Canada - Thursday, April 14, 2005 3:10 PM CDT

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Thinking of you today and always - I *love* Conor's picture :-) I'm wearing my NEVER GIVE UP bracelet today (as usual) and I think of Conor when I'm wearing it.
Suzanne
Nicholson, GA USA - Thursday, April 14, 2005 7:06 AM CDT

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You are my support, my courage and strength.
I'm always thinking of you guys
Much Love
Monika
www.caringbridge.org/mi/ireland <murrayireland@shaw.ca>
- Thursday, April 14, 2005 0:15 AM CDT

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As we remember Terry Fox this week, I couldn't help but think of a little guy who reminds me of Terry Fox: courageous, brave and accepted all challenges 'smile by smile'. It was so fascinating to hear his mom speak about how the time has passed but she still feels him, speaks to him and it seems like only yesterday that he was running with a mission. Somehow I think Conor may have done the same. His mother pointed out something so important. It has been 25 years, but you never forget. Your pain must be so raw. Here's hoping you can take your next day 'smile by smile'. Take care,

Trina De Luca <phildeluca@shaw.ca>
Sherwood Park, AB - Wednesday, April 13, 2005 5:06 PM CDT

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hi kristy,
i found your site on another and i read your latest entry and had to sign. there's not much more to say than you are awesome woman and mom...plain and simple and thank you for telling it like it is...
lisa <schnegs@pro-ns.net>
mn - Wednesday, April 13, 2005 4:57 PM CDT

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Glad to see you've decided to continue the site for a while longer Kristy. And the new picture is beautiful!
I hope you felt the thoughts of you while you were out of touch.
Tracy M Hug a Bug <tmangin@sympatico.ca>
Windsor, ON Canada - Wednesday, April 13, 2005 3:15 PM CDT

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hi kristy
i just wanted to say
have a good day
love you all
love katie and kayla and allison and rainbow and bart and marilynn and daimeon maygard :-)))))))
luv you all
p.s. love you lots conor
katie maygard <katrinemaygard@msn.com>
wetaskiwin, alberta canada - Wednesday, April 13, 2005 2:08 PM CDT

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Hi Kristi,
I don't sign in often, but check often. After your entry in March, I kept wanting to, but couldn't find the words. You said it perfectly, just say "I'm thinking of you". Sometimes it seems strange to say that to someone you don't know, but it isn't, you have given us the chance to know you through sharing your journal. I think of you all very often. It really hit home to me that every minute of every day would bring some thought of the child that you lost. Whether that thought be happy or sad. It seems like every minute would be a bit of both. Happiness for the memory you have, sadness for the memories you won't get to make. It just really is unimaginable to those of us that aren't in your shoes. Your family is in my thoughts today and always.
Lisa Kingsbury <dldarakingsbury@msn.com>
sandy, utq - Wednesday, April 13, 2005 1:02 PM CDT

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Hey Kristy have you taught Aidan the Macaroini and guacomolie dance? ( spelling )
I was doing it the other day...Then I remembered where it came from! Your the best MOMMY!
Gina
Beaumont, - Wednesday, April 13, 2005 9:02 AM CDT

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Kristy
I am so glad that you have continued Conor's Journal. I was a little upset when I couldn't access your site, BUT you're back and I am so happy. Conor and your family have been such an inspiration to me. Thinking of you always!
Pam <lakenormanheat@yahoo.com>
Denver, NC USA - Wednesday, April 13, 2005 8:40 AM CDT

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Just checking in and wanted to let you know that you are in my thoughts.
Briana Roehling
Pflugerville, TX - Wednesday, April 13, 2005 8:39 AM CDT

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Hello :) Just popping in to say Hi. Did I tell you Kristy that my kids now LOVE "Somewhere Over The Rainbow" ? The same version you have here on the site. :) So much so that we put it on Sof's birthday cd this year. We've been playing that cd whenever we're in the car, and because it's school holidays down here in Australia, that's been a lot! LOL! I must hear that song at least once a day, and every time I think of Conor :)
Hugs to you all.
Love
Ali <aligreen@optusnet.com.au>
Melbourne, Australia - Wednesday, April 13, 2005 2:54 AM CDT

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Hey Conor ... glad your Mom is still writing in your journal as this is where I feel connected to you.. even though we never met, which you know that already ;-) .... anyhow.....make the star shine brightly .. as every night when I drive home from work, which is late at night, I always look into the sky to see if that bright star is shining... and when I see it... I think of YOU.
Heather <hbuchana@telus.net>
Calgary, AB - Wednesday, April 13, 2005 1:05 AM CDT

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I am SO happy to see the site is not password protected anymore! I was very sad not to be able to read your journals and see Conor's beautiful face! I come here so often, yet don't sign as often as I feel I should. I hope nothing I EVER write here offends.....please know Conor, you and your family have touched my life.
Thank you.
Eileen
www.caringbridge.org/il/ej
EJ's Caring Place
- Tuesday, April 12, 2005 10:09 PM CDT

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Thank you for coming back. You matter.
Alison D <dunkproductions@hotmail.com>
Minneapolis, MN USA - Tuesday, April 12, 2005 9:05 PM CDT

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I am so very sorry if my comment offended in any way. I hope it did not, but I will not comment here anymore. I just wanted to say that I heard Bon Jovi today and sang and sang (well I tried to, it tends to sound more like squealing from me) in honor of Conor on top of a chair, and sang the next three songs like that. I loved reading about him. About the time he walked "left" and kissed aiden and so many other times.

Joyce <Bachigs@nycap.rr.com>
- Tuesday, April 12, 2005 5:37 PM CDT

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hi kristy
i love aidan's new play house it is really him
he loves to play house in it gtg
tinking of you
love katie and kayla maygard
katie and kayla maygard <katrinemaygard@msn.com and kaylamaygard@msn.com>
wetaskiwin, ab canada - Tuesday, April 12, 2005 5:14 PM CDT

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K-So nice to "see" you today! Thank you for sharing. And I do have a memory for you ... everytime I hear Bon Jovi on the radio I always think of Connor. Always.
Tasha S
Bay Area, CA USA - Tuesday, April 12, 2005 5:07 PM CDT

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hi kristy
have a good day
love katie
glad you are feeling better aidan
p.s. yesterday was a great day to fly a kite
i know that conor was flying his kite.
katie maygard <katrinemaygard@msn.com>
wetaskiwin, alberta canada - Tuesday, April 12, 2005 2:17 PM CDT

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Hi Kristy.
I'm glad that your page is not protected anymore.I love coming here to visit.I love the new picture's and looking for new picture's.Conor and always will be with me.And ever time I come to his page I see him smiling down at his loving family.Take Care Kristy and know that you are always in my thoughts and in my prayers.
LOVE BRENDA My Loving Dad's Site <brurka@shaw.ca>
Edmonton,Alberta CANADA, - Tuesday, April 12, 2005 10:41 AM CDT

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You know I remember after Tanners lifesaving open heart surgery I fell into a deep depression. I had a HARD time believing that he was o.k. After so much time being in panic mode I was sent home with this baby who was in alot of pain and told, "ok, treat him as a normal kid." I COULDNT DO IT! I remember sobbing to my father, telling him I just could not get over it...My fathers answer?
"Get over it and move on with your life."

These days I am a liason for heart parents at Loma Linda Childrens, and do the best I can to give back. My story is a million times different then yours, but my point is that some people just do not get it. I do not comprehend the loss of a child. I do however comprehend the absolute terror of thinking my child would not ever live to smile and laugh and play. It was never a decision for me, I went with trying to help other heart parents know that they are not alone. Sadly I have encountered children who have not survived and web sites like YOURS in honor of CONOR teach me how to be better in dealing with parents of children who are no longer alive.
You are giving back, and by honoring Conor you are teaching us. No one ever gets over the loss of a child. But then there are people like you who help to teach us better ways to be supportive.
God Bless,
Suzy
www.tannerlaughs.com
www.caringbridge.org/ca/rebeccalynn
Suzy <tanlaughs1@aol.com>
Ca - Tuesday, April 12, 2005 5:03 AM CDT

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thinking of you tonight kristy, thinking of your family. do you know i am thankful every day for your friendship and your love and support as we go through this 'life'? you mean so much to me, you understand.
becky hughes kaelan's mom
- Tuesday, April 12, 2005 4:57 AM CDT

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Thanx for the update, although I don't think that anyone expects you to explain. I certainly don't. It is not about us. This site is about you, your family and most importantly, about a gorgeous little boy who touched the hearts of many. What exactly has this website done for me? Well, I have directed my career towards pediatric oncology/nursing, I think about "nothing on my bed" rules before I enter any patient's room, I walk by the train table at the Stollery and smile, I remember Conor every single day. I never met him, but when I do I hope to tell him he made me see the sunshine in my life, marvel at my own little boy and made me count every single blessing I have in my life. You do make a difference. I consider it an honor to have access to this site and hope that you know that you are such a hero in my eyes. Again, thanx for keeping it so real. Good night, and sweet dreams gorgeous Conor.
Trina De Luca <tdeluca@ualberta.ca>
- Monday, April 11, 2005 11:59 PM CDT

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Hi. You don't know me, but I found Conor's page from another Caringbridge site. I read you entire journal history so I could try and understand what happened. Since then I often checked back to see how you and your family were doing...but most of all to see Conor's beautiful happy face.
My heart broke when the password prompt came up!
I am so happy to see you changed your mind. But I understand if you decide to do it again. What's important is you and how you feel. If your more comfortable with a password, then that's what you should do. All I could think of though was who in the world attacked you or said something rude??!! Who would do that to you?? And where are they so I can beat them up? (kidding);P
Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that I think of you, Connor, Darren and Aidan daily. Your boy is beautiful and he always will be. Thank you so much for sharing him with the rest of the world.
By the way, you are a wonderful writer... you should do a book.
Alana <ozgirl2240@alltel.net>
Lexington, SC USA - Monday, April 11, 2005 9:54 PM CDT

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Hi. You don't know me, but I found Conor's page from another Caringbridge site. I read you entire journal history so I could try and understand what happened. Since then I often checked back to see how you and your family were doing...but most of all to see Conor's beautiful happy face.
My heart broke when the password prompt came up!
I am so happy to see you changed your mind. But I understand if you decide to do it again. What's important is you and how you feel. If your more comfortable with a password, then that's what you should do. All I could think of though was who in the world attacked you or said something rude??!! Who would do that to you?? And where are they so I can beat them up? (kidding);P
Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that I think of you, Connor, Darren and Aidan daily. Your boy is beautiful and he always will be. Thank you so much for sharing him with the rest of the world.
By the way, you are a wonderful writer... you should do a book.
Alana <ozgirl2240@alltel.net>
Lexington, SC USA - Monday, April 11, 2005 9:54 PM CDT

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I am so glad you are back and not password protected anymore! I have been following your family and Conor's journey for a long time now and I was absolutely frantic when I couldn't see his little face online. I felt like we were losing him all over again. And clearly that is the teeniest fraction of how it must be for you, every day.
We care. We care so deeply for him and for all of you.
Very big hugs.
leeann <niccofive@aol.com>
ellicott city, md usa - Monday, April 11, 2005 2:00 PM CDT

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Hi guys!
Today looks like it might be a good kite flying day!
Hope your feeling better Aidan :0)
Thinking of you guys
Gina
Beaumont, - Monday, April 11, 2005 12:35 AM CDT

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Thinking of you...

~The Tidds
caringbridge.org/mn/jaxon <Heather_Tidd@hotmail.com>
- Wednesday, April 6, 2005 10:24 PM CDT

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hi kristy please wright soon luv katie

luv ya



katie <katrinemaygard@msn.com>
wetaskiwin , ab canada - Wednesday, April 6, 2005 1:59 PM CDT

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Aidan looks like he is becoming an expert kite technician.. Picture PICT0019 deserves a first prize medal.. Thinking of you guys and the water tower... Take care..

p.s. my son won't take off Conor's 'Never Give Up' bracelet. Thanks.
Ron <ron@borsholm.ca>
Victoria, BC Canada - Wednesday, April 6, 2005 10:03 AM CDT

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Miss you little man...
Nan & Pop
Dartmouth, N.S. - Monday, April 4, 2005 8:31 PM CDT

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I was just stopping in to say hi.
Jodi and McKayla

Jodi Phelan <jodiphelan@hotmail.com>
Sherwood Park, AB Canada - Monday, April 4, 2005 4:52 PM CDT

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Just checking in ....
Marcia and the gang, Hug A Bug http://fivegoofs.tripod.com <marciat@sympatico.ca>
- Saturday, April 2, 2005 1:48 PM CST

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happy april fools day conor
i love you and i miss you
i was babysitting aidan last night and he was getting grumpy so i changed his thomas underwear into a pull up then he wanted to go to sleep and missed his momma so i rocked him to sleep and he slept in my arms for 1 hour until your momma came home.he was soooo cute and i love him just as much as i love you. i love the new picture of you at the front of the page it has been 26 days since your momma has written it is the best yet.(kristy please wight soon)luv ya gtg bye
katie maygard aka silly lilly <katrinemaygard@msn.com>
conor's home town wetaskiwin, ab canada - Friday, April 1, 2005 5:54 PM CST

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Today I Thought of You

I sat and watched a sunset today
The way we once used to do
I recalled the tranquility it brought
Today I thought of you

I watched a little child at play
While others played with him too
I thought of all the times you played
Today I thought of you

I watched a mother leave her child
And walk away from the school
I remembered the times when we did that
Today I thought of you

I watched a wedding taking place
As I sat and observed the bride and groom
I know I'll never share this with you
But today I thought of you

I saw a little girl in a store
Buying candy for her brother too
I remembered you and your sis
Today I thought of you

I sat in a church in the back pew
The family torn in two
They were burying their little boy
Today I thought of you

I saw a cloud up in the sky
The background a beautiful blue
I thought of Heaven and where you are
Today I thought of you

No matter where I'm at
As long as my memories come through
I'll always think of you daily
I'll never stop thinking of you

LOVE BRENDA My Loving Dad's Site <brurka@shaw.ca>
Edmonton,Alberta Canada, - Friday, April 1, 2005 11:38 AM CST

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hi conor
me and allison were lisning to my walkman and the battery went dead so i turned it off and then it all of a sudden came back on and the song bon jovi came on thanks i really needed that it was wonderful to hear it again then it came on the raido a few weeks ago and i laugh and cryed and sung my hart out as loud as i could. me and allison and kayla have made a hole bunch of braclets for the kids in the hospital i have made 35 braclets and i don't know about the other 2.i miss you soooo much but i have to go talk to you later
luv ya
katie maygard <katrinemaygard@msn.com>
conor's home town wetaskiwin, ab canada - Wednesday, March 30, 2005 3:28 PM CST

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Hi Kristy,

Thank you so much for your latest journal entry. I really related to what you said about reaching for the bread and seeing Conor's lifeless body. I do know about that feeling. I wanted to share this with you: In 1996 my 3 year old grandson Devin died suddenly of an overwhelming baterial infection. He was gone and I never got to say goodbye to him. I have had such a tough time with missing him even though I do have mostly good days. The day after I read your entry, I woke up and the first thing I said was "Oh Devin, I'm so glad you are here with me" And it was the first time I really felt his presence. I don't know why it took me almost 9 years to find him but I am sure glad that this experience happened to me. I have not shared it with anyone except here.
My grandson Austin Brown is now 18 months post transplant and doing great. He looks so much like his brother Devin and was born on the 5th anniversary of Devin's leaving this world. I can't say anything to make you feel better and I hope I haven't made you sadder than you already are, but I do check in with Conor's caringbridge web site and I thank you for the new picture of him. My favorite one of him is still the one sitting on the hospital bed. His eyes are amazing in that picture! Tke care Kristy.
Nancy Smith
(Austin's grandma)
Nancy Smith <nsmith1963@aol.com>
Coburg, OR - Wednesday, March 30, 2005 1:36 PM CST

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Hi Conor,
Sure do miss you.Here's a joke for you buddy.

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Shelby. Shelby who?
Shelby coming around the mountain when she comes.
LOVE BRENDA My Loving Dad's Site <brurka@shaw.ca>
Edmonton,Alberta Canada, - Wednesday, March 30, 2005 1:09 PM CST

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Just stopping by to let you know my thoughts and prayers are with you! God bless and *warm hugs* ><>†<><

Lighting Children’s Lives
Caged Kids
Raise Awareness

*Jennifer C* from Lighting Children’s Lives, Caged Kids & Friends of Allie/Raise Awareness <jenniferc@ilovetcolor.com>
Eugene, OR USA - Tuesday, March 29, 2005 10:55 PM CST

---

thinking about you, and I just wanted you to know it. Also, before shoving my HOOF in my mouth I want to thank you so much for the snuggle puppy song. I thank God that my son was given a second chance at life, and he LOVES that song. Its so hard to find the words, all I can tell you is that you are sharing Conor and his life and absolutely honoring his memory. I know the agony of being terrified my son would not live, and it DOES change your perspective. Yes, Tanner may throw a fit at Wal Mart, I am glad he has the oxegen levels to breath and SCREAM loudly. Some of us do appreciate these things, but the majority of folks do not comprehend it.
Please know that you have affected me, my family, and are thought of often.
Suzy
www.tannerlaughs.com
www.caringbridge.org/ca/rebeccalynn
Suzy <tanlaughs1@aol.com>
Grand Terrace, Ca - Tuesday, March 29, 2005 4:46 AM CST

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HAPPY EASTER EVERYONE! Conor; I thought of you today and remembered your first Easter and the time we all spent together.It was a such a good day.Love you!....Pop
Don Pacholka . Dad,Pop xxx,ooo <d_pacholka@hotmail.com>
Cypress "visiting", CA USA - Sunday, March 27, 2005 10:55 PM CST

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HI Kristy,
Hope you are having a pleasaant Easter, and that Aidan had fun! I have been thinking about you alot lately. I am sorry it hurts so much, and I am sorry that my prayers for you will never lessen the pain. I hope you can find some peace in knowing how much everyone cares.

I was hoping you could email me your address. I have something I would like to send to Aidan. Sorry to not just email this question to you, but my computer has a worm right now, and I can not send emails. I can receive them, but cannot send. I hope you will send it. Thanks.
Mary (Tumbleweed) <jmkitchen6@verizon.net>
- Sunday, March 27, 2005 3:08 PM CST

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Hi -
I am so sorry for your loss. Conor is a very handsome little man.
I also lost my daugher last year on 9-5-04 at five years old.
I hope that you all have a good Easter.

Tammy,


Mom to 5 year old ^j^ Zoë Sequoia

With us for 5 years, 6 weeks and 5 days
7-20-99 to 9-5-04
~Forever Dancing and Flying Free Within Our Hearts~

And My Earth Angel ~Zurik William~ born 11-18-04


Check out Zoë's caringbridge page and sign her guestbook:
http://www2.caringbridge.org/az/zoesequoia/





Tammy <JTZR@Aol.com>
AZ - Saturday, March 26, 2005 8:56 PM CST

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Hi
HAPPY EASTER everyone.
Hope the Easter Bunny is good to you Aidan.
Conor we all misss you a lot. Have a good EASTER LITTLE MAN.
love ya all.
oh kristy write something soon.
And i love the new picture.
See you soon.

kayla <kaylamaygard@msn.com>
Conor home town Wetaskiwin, alberta Canada - Saturday, March 26, 2005 6:49 PM CST

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You wrote: Caringbridge is a spectacular place. The people, the community…the family it makes us all is wonderful and so very painful at times....but lately so much sadness and loss, and I am at a loss as to how to offer encouragement. But silently I check in on as many as I can and carry so many good wishes in my heart for everyone.
-------------
This, dear one, is how I feel as well. You are ALWAYS in my heart. I silently check in on you in this very same way. Put your arm out Precious, following the example and gusto of one little boy who REACHED. How thankful I am for that little Willy being there! He is a gift! It is OK to let him heal you! It doesn't mean you will ever forget, or ever stop loving, or even ever stop wanting what was taken.

I wonder what Darren would think if he came home one evening, and found you and Willy sitting in a mud puddle!? Hehe! :") It might be FUN! I bet Conor would tumble over with laughter, all the way from heaven!

Bless you as you continue on this journey.
Love and hugs,


I CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST WHO GIVES ME STRENGTH!

A LEGACY OF HOPE! Cancer Support & Encouragement

Lynn <lynn@legacyofhope.org>
Panama City, FL USA - Saturday, March 26, 2005 2:52 PM CST

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Conor I love your Picture.
You are such a cutie pie.I sure miss you.
Thinking and praying for your Mommy,Daddy and little Aidan always.And always for you.



I found a penny today,
Just laying on the ground.
But it's not just a penny,
This little coin I've found.

Found pennies come form heaven,
Thats what my Grandpa told me.
He said Angles toss them down,
Oh,how I loved that story.

He said when an angel misses you,
They toss a penny down,
Sometimes just to cheer you up,
To make a smile of your frown.

So, don't pass by that penny,
When your feeling blue.
It may be a penny from heaven,
That an angel tossed to you.
LOVE BRENDA My Loving Dad's Site <brurka@shaw.ca>
Edmonton,Alberta Canada, - Saturday, March 26, 2005 3:22 AM CST

---

I love the new picture...Conor looks so grown up!
I hope we can do breakfast on Sunday if we are all well. Aidan...the bunny was here at our house ALREADY! He left something here for you, but guess what? It doesn't make any noise :0(
Thinking of you all, Thanks Conor for helping Ryan learn to walk on this " Good" Friday. I also thank you for the Angel Kiss
XOXO
Gina <gparnell@telus.net>
Beaumont- Where there is a shining time station waiting for you, - Saturday, March 26, 2005 0:26 AM CST

---

Hey guys
I love the new picture kristy.
Hoppy Easter
Kayla
Kayla <kaylamaygard@msn.com>
Wetaskiwin, alberta Canada - Friday, March 25, 2005 6:38 PM CST

---

Conor was a part of you. Children absorb your time and your life physically and in your thoughts every second of every day. Conor did that. This absense of something and someone who brought so much joy left a gaping hole.

However, It's not "getting over conor" if you no longer feel the same grief you once felt. Rather, its moving on with him in your head and heart in a different way. It's carrying him with you in another sense. You have begun to find joy in other things, while still keeping conor in your heart, and that's okay.

I'm sure you think of Conor many times in a day, but maybe if when you woke up and went to bed or when aiden is napping you specifically think of conor, the pain that hits you at the end of days such as these would not be so big. You think of the wonderful little boy he was, and is still. Or maybe try keeping a journal of your thoughts and prayers to him to sort out everything. Or write down specific memories and times in a scrapbook to look at every day. When something so good and precious and rare comes around, it shapes you, and you will always carry the lessons and the memories of Conor in you in some form, and it is in Aiden too. Yes, you are a different person. After such an event you'd have to be, but your precious son loves you just as much as conor loves you, though maybe he knows a different side.

It's hard to fit back in the world after something large. Your perspective has changes (like the Wal Mart). Trivial things are less important, and you no longer have the energy or desire to listen to peoples problems or complaints when in reality they are so small. Things people take for granted (like a "normal" day) you don't. You don't need interact with just conversation at first though. Maybe try getting the piano lessons you always wanted to try for a 1/2 hour once a week, or take a pottery class. You're worth it.

Conor reminds me of the little engine that could. The young blue engine that pulled the little train on as hard as he could. Maybe Aidan knows. Maybe Conor told him to be the new blue engine and help get to the other side of the mountain, where you will all be reunited, swimming and skating.

Conor seized the day even if they were different than most kids days. There is so much that I learned from him about life.

You should not feel guilty to grieve (for Aidans sake), nor should you feel guilty to be happy (for Conors sake). Those will always conflict if you think of them like that. I really truely know that Conor is with you. He dwells in you and so many others like me who have found him through the page. Emotion is not logical, so don't be afraid when it can't be reasoned.

Please understand I have not last a child, I don't pretend to understand what it's like. If any of my comments offend for any reason, I apologize from the depths of my heart that I have caused more pain for you. I truly like many others am touched by Conor though. He is not, nor will ever be, forgotten.
Joyce <Bachigs@nycap.rr.com>
Albany, NY USA - Friday, March 25, 2005 6:24 PM CST

---

I had you guys on my mind this morning and wanted to stop in to say "Hi". Wishing you all a Happy Easter.
Love, Rebecca, Craig & Isaac Mills <rebecca-m@insightbb.com>
Louisville, Ky USA - Friday, March 25, 2005 6:54 AM CST

---

Happy Easter! Hope the Easter Bunny is good to Aidan...

Conor, may you have the biggest egg hunt with all your angel friends.......


Heather <hbuchana@telus.net>
Calgary, AB - Friday, March 25, 2005 0:11 AM CST

---

A little boy,
A special friend,
A little fighter,
Right to the end,
Gone from our lives,
But not from our hearts,
We'll keep you there always,
Like we have from the start.

Good night little Angel, & God Bless.
LOVEMy Loving Dad's Site <brurka@shaw.ca>
Edmonton,Alberta Canada, - Wednesday, March 23, 2005 11:37 PM CST

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Happy Easter!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hey man hope you have a good Easter!
Love you lots
Kayla
kayla maygard <kaylamaygard@msn.com>
Wetaskiwin, alberta Canada - Wednesday, March 23, 2005 7:26 PM CST

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Hey Kristy,

The guestbook entry that you left back at Julianna's was perfect. It filled in all holes in my swiss cheese argument, and I copied it and forwarded it on to Caring Bridge.

Terry Josephson, Julianna Banana's dad <tjosephson@shaw.ca>
Winnipeg, Canada - Wednesday, March 23, 2005 1:20 PM CST

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Stopping in to wish you a and pretty soon Aidian the will be here.
LOVEMy Loving Dad's Site <brurka@shaw.ca>
Edmonton,Alberta Canada, - Wednesday, March 23, 2005 12:39 AM CST

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Hi Kristy,
Thank you for your words. They really are effective.
I am so afraid of saying something stupid. Sorry.
That day you described sounds wonderful. It sounds like a perfect day. I cherish moments like that too.
I think of you often and I care about you.
Carol Drasak <maxandnoahsmom@yahoo.ca>
Edmonton, AB Canada - Tuesday, March 22, 2005 3:35 AM CST

---

Hi Kristy,
Thanks for dropping of Jason's Bracelet.He loves it and will not take it off.It was nice to see you and Aidan.It has been too long.Take care and know that I'm thinking of you guys always.
LOVEMy Loving Dad's Site <brurka@shaw.ca>
Edmonton,Alberta Canada, - Monday, March 21, 2005 10:58 PM CST

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Hi Kristy,

I found your site from Celeste's page. I read almost your entire journal history. After reading Connor's story, I can see what a remarkable little boys you have. I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my little princess in July, 2004. Like you, I miss her physical presence more than I can describe. I hope you keep journaling, you are an amazing writer.

Love,

Diana, Mother of Angel Katherine
http://www3.caringbridge.org/tx/katherinecross/
Diana Cross <diana@houston.rr.com>
Houston, TX - Monday, March 21, 2005 9:19 AM CST

---

Just checking in. Florida is getting warmer, finally! Sucks that it's supposed to rain more this week, but at least it's not snow. :o) Kristy, we were at the beach today, and I saw someone that looked like your double. I had to look around to see if I could see Aidan playing in the sand. Nope. :o)
Hope your week is a good one.

Marcia and the gang, Hug a Bug <marciat@sympatico.ca>
Bradford, ON - Sunday, March 20, 2005 5:47 PM CST

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hi kristy
great picture on the front he is sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo cute.
tell aidan that i love him hope to see you soon.
katie maygard aka silly lilly <katrinemaygard@msn.com>
conor's home town wetaskiwin, alberta canada - Sunday, March 20, 2005 4:51 PM CST

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HAPPY EASTER LOVE WWW.POSTPALS.CO.UK


Post Pals <info@postpals.co.uk>
- Sunday, March 20, 2005 12:58 AM CST

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Skimma-Da-Rinky-Dink.
Skimma-da-Rinky-Do
I Love You
I Love You in the Morning
And In the Afternoon
I Love You in the Evening
Undreneath the Moon
Skimma-Da-Rinky-Dink
I LOVE YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOU.
I remember us sitting at your kitchen table singing this song,and you would say "Sing it Again Nana"I Miss you Little Man.I'll Love You Forever.
carol mercer <conaid@magma.ca>
ottawa on, ca - Saturday, March 19, 2005 4:49 PM CST

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Kristy,
I have to copy the entry of DO's and DO NOTs. I couldn't have said it better myself. I do not have the energy to share what you have shared. I wish I could just say, "see Conor's web site and exchange Conor's name with Katja and add Evan for Aidan." So many web sites seem to say what I am thinking, but I just can't find the energy to share it with the world. Thank you for everything.
LOL, Jacqui and Angel Katja <j_sufka@yahoo.com>
Saint Cloud, MN - Friday, March 18, 2005 11:02 PM CST

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the sun has set not long ago
now everybody goes below
to take a bath in one big tub
with soap all over
scrub scrub scrub
they hang their towels on the wall
and find pajayms big and small
with some on top
and some beneath
they brush and brush and brusth their teeth
and when the moon is on the rise
they all go up
TO EXERCISE!
then down once more
but not so fast
they're on their way to bed at last
The moon is high
the sea is deep
they rock and rock and rock
to sleep.....
love you billy <missu@momma.always>
- Friday, March 18, 2005 9:56 PM CST

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Knock Knock
Who's there?
Ieep
Ieep who?

You eat poo?

I herd this on the radio on my way home!! I just got Randy with it...
Gina
Beaumont, - Friday, March 18, 2005 6:36 PM CST

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Love the picture of Conor shoveling snow. :-) I was looking around at pictures of him on the Oct99Mom's site last week...pictures from before I knew you guys...when Conor was just a little thing sunning his butt. Precious boy. I was thinking to myself that there's no way anyone could have known what was lurking...he was absolutely perfect. And now that I think about it, even when he was sick, through all that he went though, he remained absolutely perfect. I think it has a lot to do with his Mom. :-)

Love you guys,
Stacey <stacey@nbta-eng.com>
Baton Rouge, LA USA - Friday, March 18, 2005 3:08 PM CST

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Kristy,
I don't want to intrude, but I just want to say hello as I followed Monika's advice to your link and just read the do-and-don't-part. Thank you very much for this. It is extremely valuable.
God bless!
All the best - Manuela
Manuela
- Friday, March 18, 2005 2:42 AM CST

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Kristy - this is my first time to Conor's page... What an angel baby! I lost my angel baby Aug. 3, 2004. I love your background - and the site looks awesome. I get frustrated with ours sometimes... but stay on Caringbridge because of other moms like you who are getting me through this unimaginable nightmare... hugs and love,
Tami, Angel Celeste's proud mama forever and ever Our Cutie Papaya <tsy2@pitt.edu>
pgh, pa - Thursday, March 17, 2005 2:43 PM CST

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Hi Conor,

Yesterday I received my orange bracelet and the beautiful card with the verse Never Give Up .... I will wear my bracelet everyday and the card is on my fridge with big letters N(ever) G(ive) U(p) holding it .. even though we never met, I will remember you always.....


Heather <hbuchana@telus.net>
Calgary, AB - Thursday, March 17, 2005 12:34 AM CST

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Happy St.Patrick's Day


LOVEMy Loving Dad's Site <brurka@shaw.ca>
Edmonton,Alberta Canada, - Thursday, March 17, 2005 12:07 AM CST

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Conor's Family...always thinking of you and that special angel boy. I'm wearing my "Never Give Up" bracelet all the time :-) and happy to tell people about a little guy named Conor who never gave up. Courage and peace...
Suzanne
Nicholson, GA USA - Thursday, March 17, 2005 6:20 AM CST

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I may not know when the firsts or seconds are for you...
Even though we're hundreds of miles away...
I will fervently pray for you...especially when you're at the lowest you think you could ever get. I will celebrate with you the new firsts that you have in your life. As long as you need me to stand with you, I will. Feel free to email me anytime. God bless you and know you have many people out here praying for you and wanting to take any burden off of you that they can. Take care.
Lindsay
Houston, TX - Wednesday, March 16, 2005 11:44 PM CST

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You don't know me but I ran across Conor's page from the Quilt's of Love Easter Link I received today. I just lost my precious son Nelson, the day after his first birthday - January 14, 2005. I am thankful to you for you wanting to share your grief with others and just EXACTLY HOW IT FEELS! It sucks and like you said so many people say and do things SO STUPID. Especially those never having experienced the emptiness and lonliness of losing a child. I appreciate your Marth 7th journal entry and can relate so much to what you are saying about after the first year you don't have the "last year this time we were doing this." As in my case, last year this time my son was coming off life support at CHOP. I hurt and feel like my heart has been physically ripped out of my body and cut in half right in front of my eyes. Thank you being just what I needed for today! Prayers and Peace be to you from Mississippi.
Charlie, Julie and NELSON'S PAGE <cjcrump320@bellsouth.net>
Brandon, MS USA - Wednesday, March 16, 2005 5:34 PM CST

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Kristy,
As I reach for what I am trying to say, I have to tell you that as you know, my child lived after a terrifying open heart surgery as an infant, and my niece is fighting ALL-T.
Ever since my journey began with Tanner I have absorbed info like a sponge on cardiac kids, the good, and the bad.
I have attended funerals, and rejoiced with miracles. I know that fear of being afraid of losing a child...
With that I have to tell you that I have NEVER seen someone express the raw agony of the reailty of the death of a child. You may not see it now, but you are teaching us. Maybe you do not want to hear that, maybe you dont want the responsibility, maybe you cant comprehend it...But I have never felt such raw parental emotions as I do when I I read your site. You are teaching us so much. You are keeping Conors memory alive, and showing the deepest love imaginable by sharing it.
Thank you for this, it is probably the bravest thing I have ever seen.
~~~Suzy
www.tannerlaughs.com
www.caringbridge.org/ca/rebeccalynn
Suzy Yanez <tanlaughs1@aol.com>
Ca - Wednesday, March 16, 2005 2:58 AM CST

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I received my 'never give up' bracelet in the mail today. Thank you very much for sending it. The poem is something I will try to instill in my children.
Tracey Hewison <traceyhewison@shaw.ca>
Calgary , - Tuesday, March 15, 2005 5:00 PM CST

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Kristy, Aidan,Darren
Thank You very Much for the bracelet, i will were it everyday, I hope she makes her goal. I'm a friend of Brenda,s and go to your site everyday, i have two small children as well, i couldnt imagine how you are feeling, my prayers are with your family everyday and will support you everyway.
Tammy wakeford <twakeford@globex.ca>
Edmonton, AB - Tuesday, March 15, 2005 10:10 AM CST

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Kristy,
you seem to be right where you should be. sucks anyway. i understand about the emptiness. i understand about being hypersensitive to peoples comments. i understand how the little things like 'table for three' makes your stomach drop four floors. your entry is beautiful.
lisa www.caringbridge.org/ar/savannah <littleredlch@yahoo.com>
russellville, ar usa - Tuesday, March 15, 2005 9:52 AM CST

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Kristy,
I can't imagine the pain that follows you everyday. I have been following Conor for years now and your entries still amaze me. An amazing mommy for an amazing boy. Please know that your little angel has showed me so much in life. Thank you for sharing him with us. You are a wonderful person, and I'm sure Conor is so very proud of you. Take care and God Bless
Pam <lakenormanheat@yahoo.com>
Denver, NC USA - Tuesday, March 15, 2005 8:30 AM CST

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I am so sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. From one angel mum to another I send you ((hugs)). I lost my daughter on 1-8-05.
www.myangelteagyn.bravehost.com
www.peroxisomaldisorderawarness.bravehost.com

Nicola <teagynsmum@aol.com>
VA - Tuesday, March 15, 2005 1:11 AM CST

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Just letting you know that always and forever my prayer's are with you.Take Care.
LOVEMy Loving Dad's Site <brurka@shaw.ca>
Edmonton,Alberta Canada, - Monday, March 14, 2005 2:10 PM CST

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Hi Baby ,Just popped in to say hello,you have been on my mind alot today,I miss you so much.I'll Love You Forever.Nana
carol mercer <conaid@magma.ca>
ottawa, on ca - Monday, March 14, 2005 1:27 PM CST

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Just checking in to let you know I am thinking about Conor today. May you find the strength to get through the next hour, days and months. My wish for you is that you can tell yourself how amazing your family is for enduring the worst possible agony in this world. It must hurt beyond words. Sometimes we put so much pressure on ourselves to be doing, be normal and be alive. I think that it is an accomplishment to just 'be' sometimes. I know our children don't expect us to 'do' for them all of the time. They love us for just 'being'. Does that make sense? Here's to a week of strength, hope, memories, tears and smiles....
Trina De Luca <phildeluca@shaw.ca>
Sherwood Park, Alberta - Sunday, March 13, 2005 6:20 PM CST

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Hi GUys
How many times to am I thankful for our friendship. Tons.
WOW!! Do you want to visit Monday for lunch to help keep my mind off of things? Better go our pass is over.
Always in my heart
Monika and Justin <murrayireland@shaw.ca>
Fort Sask, Canada - Saturday, March 12, 2005 11:52 PM CST

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Your entry absolutely took my breath away. You may feel like you are not the same mom that you were or that Aidan is somehow missing out, but your love for both of your boys is so poignant and moving. Aidan is blessed to have you. I don't know how you make it through it each day. I don't know how it ever gets better. But if anyone has the strength to do it, you do. If I could be half the mother that you are I will be an amazing mother. Reading your journal entries makes me miss Conor in a very tangible way, a child I have never met. That is a true tribute to him.
Meghan McFadden <Smilneyz@aol.com>
Renton, WA USA - Saturday, March 12, 2005 10:38 PM CST

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Kristy,
You are so obviously a wonderful mother to both of your boys. Aidan is so lucky to have you and Conor is truly blessed to STILL have you for his mommy. He watches you everyday, I am sure, and feels your love and hurt. No one else can possibly know all of the silent moments that you experience in a day. Your entry will help so many of the greiving parents out there. I know it touched my sister's heart, and it has helped me to underestand, at least as much as I can, the pain she must endure daily. I'm not sure at all how she survives, but she does because she simply is a wonderful mother to two very special boys like you.
Connor Summerville's aunt <sclayton11@yahoo.com>
- Friday, March 11, 2005 9:38 PM CST

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How very poignant and beautiful your most recent entry. My heart aches for your loss. No matter what though, you'll never forget him, so don't fear that. He is in every fiber of your being and will always be there no matter how much time passes.
All my very best.
Lisa <loumicsmom@comcast.net>
Dallas, TX USA - Friday, March 11, 2005 4:28 PM CST

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I love the new picture that are posted. Stay strong.

Heather (Hug a Bug)
Heather (HUG A BUG) <hmaini5566@rogers.com>
Mississauga, ON Canada - Friday, March 11, 2005 8:30 AM CST

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Oh Kristy, I am SO SORRY! That was not my intention AT ALL, to tell you how to think or feel :( I am deeply sorry that my comment offended you, I truly did not mean it in that spirit. What a dumbass I am....please just remove my post, I don't want something that hurt you to sit there and make you angry. So sorry.
Tracey <traceyhewison@shaw.ca>
Calgary , - Thursday, March 10, 2005 10:33 PM CST

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Kristy,

I only came to know Conor's story last fall, and every time I read your journal, I'm struck by how much he reminds me of my own son. The Bon Jovi (It's My Life is his favourite), the La La La song (every time I hear it now I think of Conor), the trains, and even the Going To Bed Book ... almost a nightly ritual in our house. And then I stop myself from thinking about what I would do if he was gone. I can't imagine it. But tonight, after reading your incredible journal entry, I started feeling this awful pain in my belly. You have put your feelings into words, and it helps us understand, just a fraction of what you must be feeling. I hope that the pain I felt tonight meant that some of it was being taken away from you. Your ordinary day sounded like a wonderful, beautiful day for Aiden, and I'm sure that Conor was there too - in your hearts, and all around you. What an incredible Mom you are.
Connie (Hug A Bug) <Bogeymama2000@yahoo.ca>
Calgary, Alberta - Thursday, March 10, 2005 10:32 PM CST

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Kristy, I follow several caringbridge sites. I had a sister pass away of breast cancer 5 years ago March 17th, then a best friend of mine 3 weeks later. Then when I thought I had a handle on my grief my 2 month grandaughter passed away. There still isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of all of them. Some days I cry and some days I laugh. It was a long time before I could laugh without feeling guilty. It's all apart of the healing process. One gigantic roller-coaster ride. I never did like those rides. Everyone handles grief in a different way, there are no right or wrong ways and NO one should be standing there with a watch saying are you done yet. I would recomend the Compassionate Friends support group. I went after my grandaughter passed away. I was not only grieving for me I was grieving for my daughter too. I needed something, and a friend pushed me in that direction. I was really nervous at first, but it really helped. I realized I wasn't going crazy, I was feeling normal feelings.... If your not familar with it you should check out their web site. www.compassionatefriends.org.
I found this poem the 1st year I chaired the relay for life. Then I knew why I found all those pennies during the months leading up to the event. My sister, Glenda was telling me I was doing the right thing.
Pennies From Heaven
I found a penny today just lying on the ground.
But it's not just a penny this little coin I found
found pennies come from heaven
That's what my grandpa told me.
He said, Angels toss them down.
Oh how I loved that story,
He said, When an angel misses you
they toss a penny down.
Sometimes just to cheer you up
Make a smile out of your frown.
So don't pass by a penny
When your feeling blue,
It may be a penny from heaven
That an angel's tossed to you.

Thinking of you. A caringbridge friend.

glee deffenbaugh <dgdeffenbaugh@midstatesd.net>
Kimball, S.D. Brule - Thursday, March 10, 2005 9:15 PM CST

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I just want to let out a gutteral howl for you Kristy, while reading your entry. I know you and I are awkward with each other when we meet in person, but please know that though I can't verbally express it, I am by your side, cheering you on and admiring you and hoping for you.

Lori
Lori Grainger <graingersrus@sasktel.net>
Lloydminster, SK Canada - Thursday, March 10, 2005 7:44 PM CST

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Kristy
I agree with you totally,You feel how you feel.And that will never go away.You say what you feel I respect that.Hang in there my freind.
Always LOVEDave's Site <brurka@shaw.ca>
Edmonton,Alberta Canada, - Thursday, March 10, 2005 5:28 PM CST

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I wasn't going to say anything or respond at all, but I figured what he hell, this website for me, needs to be not only about conor, and about my mouring his loss, but it needs to also serve as a way to edcuate others on what parents like me go through. That being said, I can only speak for me. Grief is so very individual and not everyone reacts the way I do and needs what I need. And honestly it changes from minute to minute and day to day.
And one things I hate, that really does make me mad and upset me is the notion that people try to fix it or point out how I can fix me and how I feel. I don't need that. I don't want that. I don't want to be fixed or healed. I will always have this hole in my life and acknowledging that keeps conor with me.
so to say that I can stop cancer from still taking from me, by chosing not to let it, is impossible. by assuming that its something I can control is wrong. I welcome all guestbook entries, all memories of conor, all words of encouragement and support, but please take the time to understand me and support me how it is I need to be supported and not how you think I should be. To me anything else sounds like get over it. And I cannot possibly convey to you in away how very angry that makes me.


kristy <kristydarren@yahoo.com>
- Thursday, March 10, 2005 4:11 PM CST

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Kristy,
This is tough...do I say what I want to say, or will I make you mad?? The thing that I can't get out of my head is this....cancer can't take away anything from you ANYMORE, Kristy, unless you let it. There, I said it. And I can see that you understand that, as you are having moments of healing now, tiny little moments...like letting Aidan get all dirty and telling him it's A-ok baby! Slowly, slowly, I hope and pray each day you will take tiny steps and let Aidan fly, as you did with Conor, and together, the healing can begin. Not that you will ever truly be 'healed' from the loss of Conor, that just could never be, but that you have so many more joyous moments than not, and that you once again end up being the Mom to Aidan that you would have been to Conor and Aidan..does that make sense? Truly, it is terrifying to comment on your gb like this, because as someone else said, we have not walked this path, so really, how dare we? Just know that it is said with the purest of loving intentions. Sometimes, when you are so close to something, you stop seeing outside of it.....you know? Sending you REALLY big hugs,
Tracey xoxo Hug A Bug <traceyhewison@shaw.ca>
Calgary , - Thursday, March 10, 2005 3:35 PM CST

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Kristy,
The day you wrote this entry we found a lost train in a place we'd looked a zillion times. I cried when I found it because when we'd lost it I'd cried because it was around the anniversary of Conor's death. You had helped me decide what to get to start Joey on his Thomas travels just a few weeks before Conor contracted RSV. I didn't want to loose THAT train and somehow lose a connection to Conor. I'm rambling, but I just want you to know that I think of Conor every day. Thank you for sharing your life with us -- all of your life.
Helen <hsuchy@neo.rr.com>
Streetsboro, OH USA - Wednesday, March 9, 2005 10:10 PM CST

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Hi. I learned of your website through Team in Training. I have the pleasure of being Cassandra Piatt's mentor for the triathlon this summer and this is why I continue to be involved with TNT. You are an inspiration. I am still trying to see through my tears. Your words are truly touching. I can only offer my thoughts and prayers and continued fundraising for the cause of finding a cure.
God Bless. Sincerely, Lorina Gifford
Lorina Gifford <lorinag@comcast.net>
Albuquerque, NM USA - Wednesday, March 9, 2005 11:26 AM CST

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Gosh, Kristy, so many things are swirling through my head right now as I read your heartfelt and insightful posting. I'm thinking about how good it is that you write all these feelings down, if not here, at least in a journal or book...just SOMEWHERE so that they find a home besides your private thoughts to honor your love and memories of Conor. Not to mean they don't have merit in your own mind, but to mean to help your mind, body and soul to have a place to express and record forever Conor's essence. I hope you know what I mean. I'm reading and thinking, "Wow, this is how my mom had to feel after losing two children, yet I never knew the depth of how this felt." Her first baby she lost, my little sister, died at 2 months old. I was 2 years old at the time. My older sister was very sickly too, with a congenital heart defect. She was always in the hospital. Any germ, cold, etc would lead to pneumonia and near death. I was sheltered from crowds, birthday parties, dirt, mud, ANYTHING that could cause an illness so as to protect my big sister. I was trained to fear it all....yet I knew it came from my mom's fears of a real threat, and when I had children of my own I was able to rationalize all that and let my kids be normal kids. When I was pregnant with my first is when my big sister's body could take no more. I went through all the emotions of losing a sister, but as usual, my mom carried on being a grandma and keeping her pain hidden from me. Kristy, you have helped me realize how hard these losses have been for my mom. You articulate it so well. How your pain illustrates the love of a mom....a GREAT mom...is inspiring. And someday, this journal will be worth gold to Aidan. Trust me, how I wish my mom had been able to journal my sisters' special moments, her special memories of them, and her personal feelings that would make them so very real. Especially the baby. I have no memories of her. I have pictures, but you know, pictures only capture one moment, one second of time. And I know there's so much more.
Anyway, I didn't mean to ramble on...just wanted to let you know that even if it's hard to visit Caringbridge, or sit down and type....there is so much more to doing that than you might even realize. Thank you so much for continuing to share yourself and your precious sons with all of us. I can only imagine how difficult it is, but as I said above, it has helped me tremendously to see into my mom's world and understand.
Love, Lisa Post <LMPOST@cox.net>
- Wednesday, March 9, 2005 7:41 AM CST

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Kristy,
I nearly didn't sign in because nothing I can say will erase your pain or even ease it. The only thing I can even offer is that I miss Conor and love Conor. I check his site so often and his dancing eyes and sweet smile bring such pleasure. Conor is remembered and you are thought of and prayed for, as is your whole family.
leeann <niccofive@aol.com>
md - Wednesday, March 9, 2005 7:32 AM CST

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Hi Kristy, I can see why Conor loved them sweet potato scones! They rock! I am for sure going to make them. Thanks so much for finding the receipe for your mommy conor! I think we need to fill the purple pool with nice black soil and and some water...when it is a lot warmer. I think we will only need about 3 bags....he he he
We will have the bigest mud slinging party EVER! It is something that I have always wanted to do...love the mud between my toes :0) Can't wait for summer...conor keep sending us this sunshine,sunshine!
Gina
Beaumont, - Tuesday, March 8, 2005 11:09 PM CST

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Hi Kristy, Darren and Aidan
As always I love you all and think of you often
Monika <kjqk@hotmail.com www.caringbridge.org/mi/ireland>
- Tuesday, March 8, 2005 6:15 PM CST

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I'm shedding some tears for your Conor and for your family tonight. Your words are beautiful. I'm so sorry for your pain. I received my Never Give Up bracelet today. I will always remember Conor and his courage.
Love, Laura <lsk_100@yahoo.com>
Reidsville, NC - Tuesday, March 8, 2005 5:21 PM CST

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Hi Kristy,
My heart aches for you. I can not understand the depths of your pain for I have not experienced it, but I share in it. You say things so well and it gives me a look into how life has changed for you and your family. I think of Conor often when I work students. His spirit and spunk... My thoughts are with you always.
Teresa <teresaflett@hotmail.com>
Edmonton, AB Canada - Tuesday, March 8, 2005 3:05 PM CST

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Hey Kristy! I have some serious HUGS for you. You have every right to feel the way you feel. I think you are doing as well as one can expect under your circumstances. How is it that when one dies, the world doesn't stop???
Kristy, Conor was an amazing little boy, just like his mom is an amazing woman. They do say,"the apple doesn't fall far from the tree!" I have just a thought for you. Let's say the roles were reversed...that you are an angel and Conor is here on Earth. What would you expect of your boys? How would you like them to live without you?

Kristy, I am so sorry that you had to experience the worst kind of loss one can suffer. Just know that there are tons of people out here that care an awful lot about you and your family, including me.

Love,
Nancy Beauchemin <nancybea33@yahoo.com>
Calgary, AB Canada - Monday, March 7, 2005 10:50 PM CST

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Kristy - Wow. You say it all so well. Almost every sentence I could say "yeah - that's what I've been thinking." Thanks for sharing it with all of us!
Rachel
- Monday, March 7, 2005 7:03 PM CST

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A very close friend of mine buried his daughter today. I often come and visit your site, it is so full of love, and my son Tanner LOVES the snuggle puppy song, he asks for it whenever he sees me at my computer! So today I go to Conors site and that song under the rainbow is on. I thought of my friend, I thought of Emerald, I thought of Conor, Melody, Tanner my son,and of course I thought of my niece Rebecca who is fighting ALL-T, and I even thought of the guy who sang that song. Did you know that he re did that song, and by the time it became famous he had already died? Instead of seeing the sadness in that, I try to think that he (I believe) left a family when he died. So he left them a big gift in that song, not only in the beauty of it, but in the royalties. That song was truly a gift.
But it sure makes me cry.
I think of you and yours often, and I can honestly tell you that my son LOVES the song snuggle puppy!
God bless us all,
Suzy
www.caringbridge.org/ca/rebeccalynn
www.tannerlaughs.com
Suzy Yanez <tanlaughs1@aol.com>
Ca - Monday, March 7, 2005 5:06 PM CST

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Hey Kristy,

I can't put Under The Rainbow up on Julianna's site again. I know you've had other songs, but Under the Rainbow by that bug Hawaiian is forever linked with Wetaskawin, Alberta for me. It's kind of like you said in your journal entry, it was out for a couple of years and I never heard it. Now, I hear it all the time, and to me, it takes me right back to your Conor.

I was going to say "wonderful" journal entry above, but I don't know, is that the right word? It was truthful and moving, but I just don't know what words go with grieving and pain. It's just another thing that doesn't make sense anymore, I guess. Life is beeeautiful, but living it can be so frigging hard. I wish I didn't miss your oven fry anniversary, but Kristy, I think you just taught me a life lesson with that one.

Take care,


Terry Josephson, Julianna Banana's dad <tjosephson@shaw.ca>
Winnipeg, Canada - Monday, March 7, 2005 4:48 PM CST

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Kristy,

No perky platitudes from me today. All I can say is, and I don't know if it's the terribly wrong thing to say or what, is that there will always, always be those moments. When it's been years since he died, and you have a life that is "the new normal", and someone asks how many children you have, and you pause, not knowing how to answer. Because if you include the one who's gone, that doesn't feel quite right, but excluding him CERTAINLY doesn't feel right, but if you say, "two living", you have to explain, and then you end up with that whole comforting-them thing. It's such an innocuous question, like talking about the weather, everyone asks it, but there's no good way to answer it when you've lost a child. I still have dreams, especially at this time of year, where I'm looking for Natalie because for all these years she's been lost, or where someone I know brings her to me and says she's behaved great while you were gone, but she sure missed her mama! like she was being babysat. And I still wake up crying. And I think I always will.

I didn't mean to turn this into something about me. But I could feel the awful pain in your post and I guess I wanted to let you know you're not alone, even if we're not DOING anything on those small milestones, many many of us know what you are going through with them and think of you so, so often.
Rachel from Oct99Moms
CA - Monday, March 7, 2005 2:20 PM CST

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Kristy and Family
I'm sorry you are feeling down.It's hard to know the right thing to say.I too remember Conor playing in the dirt with Jason and Brooklyn.They always has fun in that dirt hole.Aidan is a pure joy to be around.Conor will forever be in my heart.I love reading your entries they are always so touching,and reading about the memories you have of Conor.Death is so hard.My dad never stopped thinking about Jason,he always wanted to be with him and just before he left us to be with him he said that he can't wait to see him.He always ached for him.It never will be the same but Conor will forever be with you always.

Always LOVEDave's Site <brurka@shaw.ca>
Edmonton,Alberta Canada, - Monday, March 7, 2005 1:54 PM CST

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I am sorry Kristy, I can't finish your journal entry. I check on a couple of caringbridge families every day to see how they are doing and it breaks my heart that I can't offer anything but words. Most of the time I don't bother writing because I feel that "what do I know, I haven't walked down that road". But I do feel your pain, your sadness and your happiness of having a 2 year old. I look at my own son and wonder what it would be like to be told that he has cancer. I think of your family all of the time. Thanx for continuing to let us into your world. It can't be easy. You may not believe it, but you have it so together. I will return to reading your journal entry when I don't have to be somewhere. Mascara and tears don't mix very well. Thinking of you, your family and that gorgeous boy with those incredible eyes and smile. God bless you as you walk through this unbelievable pain.
Trina De Luca <phildeluca@shaw.ca>
Sherwood Park, Canada - Monday, March 7, 2005 12:37 AM CST

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Kristy,

Conor will always be in your heart, mind and spirit. Thank you for your journal updates, it makes people like me realize just how precious life is, how precious our children are... not to take things for granted. I think of you often.... Conor will forever be my hero !!
Heather <hbuchana@telus.net>
Calgary, AB - Monday, March 7, 2005 12:32 AM CST

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Sending prayers your way.
Briana Roehling
Pflugerville, TX - Monday, March 7, 2005 9:08 AM CST

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Kristy,
Thank you for sharing those great new photos of Conor, I love to see him. Where was the last photo taken, on the photo page? It looks familiar...
I would love to have one of Conor's orange bracelets, I'll need to follow the link. Way to go, Cassandra!
Today was the first playoff game for Quinn's hockey team. His coach, Trevor, presented each boy with his own LIVESTRONG bracelet, which they all wore for the game...Quinn said he'll never take his off...they are all nine and ten. How cool is that? Trevor told them to be so grateful for their health and that they can be out there playing hockey. I thought that was amazing and I am touched by how the boys reacted to their new bracelets.
I hope you and Aidan are having lots of fun and adventures together.
It goes without saying, we never forget Conor.
Hugs,
Tracey xoxox Hug A Bug <traceyhewison@shaw.ca>
Calgary, - Sunday, March 6, 2005 1:25 AM CST

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You fill my sweetest dreams
You fill my sleep
You fill my heart with love
You make my life complete...

Love you Conor!



Nan & Pop <bford49@eastlink.ca>
Dartmouth, NS - Saturday, March 5, 2005 8:04 AM CST

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Hello Kristy & Family:
I noticed Conor's memorial in The Telegram a few weeks back.
I just wanted to let you guys know that I think of you every time I hear of someone else being diagnosed with cancer. I keep checking this site to check and see how you are coping. Even though I never met you, I feel like I know you, since I used to visit this site on a daily basis prior to Conor's passing. May God give you the strength to carry on.
Martina Aylward
Cape Broyle, NL Canada - Friday, March 4, 2005 8:07 PM CST

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hi kristy
please wright soon
love katie maygard
katie maygard <katrinemaygard@msn.com>
wetaskiwin, alberta canada - Thursday, March 3, 2005 4:28 PM CST

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Hey Aidan!
What does a Donkey say?
We sure had fun with you yesturday, Come and play soon!
Give him and ton of hugs and kisses for us today guys!
Gina
Beaumont, - Thursday, March 3, 2005 10:37 AM CST

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Kristi,
Thank you so much for all you have done to help me honor your son, our hero!
Cassandra Brendon's Site <cmraven@msn.com>
Albuquerque, NM - Wednesday, March 2, 2005 10:01 PM CST

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We love you all, Conor, Kristy, Aidan, everybody.
Fred Dini
San Diego, CA - Wednesday, March 2, 2005 2:33 AM CST

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Nana <conaid@magma.ca>
Ottawa, ON Canada - Tuesday, March 1, 2005 10:36 PM CST

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Id love to donate and trade orange bracelets. Please e-mail me with info where to send it to!!!....ours say CURE KYLIE to support her thru her MINI stem cell transplant...Orange is her favorite color too!!!Prayers for Angel Conor
Kylies Page

Heather MOnica <tenkids2dogs@aol.com>
Toms River, NJ - Tuesday, March 1, 2005 1:31 PM CST

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