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Lisa

Somedays we just need a few extra

and maybe an extra

or two to make it through the day

Sending truckloads your way.
Mark
PC, UT - Tuesday, May 15, 2007 4:08 PM CDT

With Much Love
Miss Shannon & Miss Samantha "Froggy" <humphity@gmail.com>
Always Missing & Remembering *Savannah* - Sunday, May 13, 2007 12:38 AM CDT

Lisa,it's been awhile..although I have not written my thoughts are never far from your family.Thinking of you and remembering Savannah.Someone who cares in Hemet. Sherry
Sherry <cowpies5@aol.com>
Hemet, ca - Tuesday, May 1, 2007 12:42 AM CDT

Thinking of you all today.
Julie
www.caringbridge.org/ok/savannah
Julie Remington <Youthful64@aol.com>
Broken Arrow, OK USA - Monday, April 30, 2007 11:32 PM CDT

Dear Lisa, Cassie, and Jerry--

I'm thinking about you on this very difficult day. Do whatever you must to get through the day. I'm sure Savannah will be looking down on you throughout.
Allison <allisonemeyer@gmail.com>
Columbia, MO - Monday, April 30, 2007 10:08 PM CDT

Dear Lisa, Cassie and Jerry,

I just wanted to let you all know that you are in my prayers. I will always remember your beautiful Savannah.

Love,

Diana, Mohter of Angel Katherine
Diana Cross <diana@houston.rr.com>
Houston, TX - Monday, April 30, 2007 9:40 PM CDT

Lisa, Cassie, and Jerry
just wanted you to know that I
am thinking of Savannah and
you most especially today...
mrs pam
- Monday, April 30, 2007 3:48 PM CDT

Dear Savannah, Somehow I think that you are one of the wise ones. You know the answers to the questions that we barely know how to ask. You know about eternity and time and everlasting love. I think you look down on us with a wisdom that we long to understand. You are not alone, heaven is filled with little ones full of wisdom. We are not alone either. We have each other and I know that makes you smile. Thank you, Savannah for being you. Love, Celeste
Celeste <starrystarrynight25@yahoo.com>
Moultonborough, NH USA - Monday, April 30, 2007 10:40 AM CDT

Your family is deep in my heart and thoughts as you celebrate the 3rd Anniversary of Savannah going to Heaven...

((HUGS))
Jenn Hartley <ronjenn696@prodigy.net>
- Monday, April 30, 2007 9:44 AM CDT

Lisa,
I am wearing the pin of you and savannah today.I don't know what to tell the kids or other people that ask yet. I guess it will just come. I will be thinking of your family today as I do every day. It is hard working at the elementary watching the kids live there days not even knowing how I watch them. Would that child be one of my daughters friends? We have quit a few redheaded "spitfires" in our school I am always thinking of savannah.

Much Love your way,

Carol
Carol m/o sydney 8/97- 5/04 <chernand_2000@yahoo.com>
tx - Monday, April 30, 2007 6:48 AM CDT

Lisa,

Thinking of you and Savannah this morning.

Love,
M Elton
Richmond, VA - Monday, April 30, 2007 2:01 AM CDT

Lisa, Savannah was one of the first children I learned to love on caringbridge.org after my daughter began her BT battle. Thank you for sharing her life with us. And for sharing your writing, it is wonderful.

P.S. Cassie looks stupendous.
Ellen and Sammi Robertson www.caringbridge.org/mi/sammijean <scanmom@hotmail. com>
Wyandotte, MI - Sunday, April 29, 2007 10:36 PM CDT

I wanted to let you know I'm thinking about you and Savannah and what April 30 means for you. For me April 30 is my daughters birthday, but as I prepare for the party and the all the business to come, I am greiving with you for that beautiful little red-headed angel of yours. You are both in my heart. I will always celebrate life a little harder on April the 30th for my daughter and yours. Take Care and thank you for sharing your story with us, I will never forget that cuted little spitfire of yours.
Victoria Vela <bluevikki@hotmail.com>
San Juan , TX USA - Sunday, April 29, 2007 9:28 PM CDT

Lisa, Cassie and Jerry,
Savannah is not forgotten. Keeping you close in my heart as you remember your angels journey.
Ann
Ann
Scranton, PA 18504 - Sunday, April 29, 2007 9:00 PM CDT

Lisa,
I've been thinking about you and Savannah on the eve of this sad anniversary. You are both in my heart.

Love,

Chris
Chris Kiel
Florissant, MO USA - Sunday, April 29, 2007 8:38 PM CDT

Lisa,
I've wanted to let you know I'm thinking about you and Savannah on the eve of this sad anniversary. You are both in my heart.

Love,

Chris

Chris Kiel
Florissant, MO USA - Sunday, April 29, 2007 8:31 PM CDT

We know what tomorrow is, and we have not forgotten sweet Savannah.
Jennifer Cook <andrewaustinadam@yahoo.com>
Wooster, AR USA - Sunday, April 29, 2007 4:54 PM CDT

I am thinking of you and Savannah. I know its so hard...it really takes a lot out of you, mentally draining. I wish there was something that I could do or say to make you feel better....but I know it helps to know that so many people admire you and so many people love Savannah.

Angel Rachel's Mommy
Jeanne <crowman2766@aol.com>
king of prussia, pa usa - Sunday, April 29, 2007 3:22 PM CDT

Lisa: I'm remembering Savannah today and tomorrow and praying for your heart.........
Terri
Russellville, AR - Sunday, April 29, 2007 10:51 AM CDT

Lisa,

Words of course never can portray what is felt in the heart. It does not seem like three years have past. Whether the loss be a week, a month, a year or decades past the color of the pain may fade but never fully washes away. Until we get together from my family to yours a cyber-toast in tribute to all of our angels filled with love, tears, joy, frustrations and overflowing with happy memories.
Mark <sinbad0101@hotmail.com>
P.C., UT - Sunday, April 29, 2007 8:39 AM CDT

I am signing your guestbook for the first time. I want to say my prayers are with you and your family.
Lisa Dawson <Limic820@aol.com>
Dallas, TX - Saturday, April 28, 2007 10:40 PM CDT

Thank you for sharing your precious Savannah. I know your ever-present sorrow and sense of loss. While we carry within us the blessed hope of holding them again, we also carry our grief and on these days, their days, the pain will always be deeper, keener, lonelier. As the anniversary of Savannah's Homegoing approaches, may you know the comforting presence of our Lord in a special way.

Yolanda, Mom to Anna <weloveanna@earthlink.net>
Alt Spgs, FL USA - Saturday, April 28, 2007 12:55 AM CDT

Three years. I remember so well those days three years ago. I hardly knew you then. I didn't know what a DPG was until I opened Savannah's site and instantly fell head over heals for her. Her sparkling eyes and spitfire grin. Oh, the things I learned from Savannah and from you and all of the other kids and parents. I am still learning every day. April 30, 2004, Savannah earned her angel wings. EARNED is the right word. Angel is certainly the right word. Wings....fly sweet Savannah....fly. Enjoy those wings, you certainly did earn them. Lisa, love to you this weekend as you remember your sweet daughter. Celeste
Celeste <starrystarrynight25@yahoo.com>
Moultonborough, NH USA - Friday, April 27, 2007 10:07 AM CDT

I pray your guilt for feeling that you cannot help my family is short termed. I hope you realize how many blessed things you have provided for our family. From all of your writings, your family's love and prayers and most of all Savannah's ever present spirit we have been able to overcome devastating yesterdays, been able to put the pieces together for a wonderful today and will go on to build a stronger tomorrow.

We may be so many miles apart but our hearts are welded as one. Savannah brought us together and she will slowly gather us one by one for a celebration that will last an eternity.

With every passing April we will start the month and end the month with a horrible anniversary. April is the month that announces spring has arrived and as time passes our memories will blossom and the blooms will forever paint a glorious meadow in our hearts.

Hugzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz,

Saige
- Wednesday, April 18, 2007 8:26 PM CDT

Hey Lisa,
Thinking of you and savannah. Time is drawing near. I'll never forget how you helped me. LOVE TO ALL!!!! Miss talking to you. You are and always be forever in my heart.
I'm sorry for whatever happened to you so suddenly...
Forever in my heart.................xoxoxoxox
Carol

Carol <chernand_2000@yahoo.com>
tx. - Wednesday, April 18, 2007 7:36 PM CDT

Lisa, I am so sorry......God Bless your Heart.
Terri
Russellville, AR - Saturday, April 14, 2007 8:28 AM CDT

Lisa,

so very sorry for your pain.
Someone who cares
canada - Friday, April 13, 2007 4:42 PM CDT

I am sorry for this new deep loss you have experienced and for their family.

Allison <allisonemeyer@gmail.com>
Columbia , MO - Thursday, April 12, 2007 9:15 PM CDT

Hi Lisa, just stopping by to say hello, Cassie looks beautiful, just like her Momma! We still think of your Savannah, and her beautiful red hair!
Tammy DeBlaay FOA <tammydeblaay@hotmail.com>
Fort Worth , TX - Thursday, April 12, 2007 4:08 PM CDT

With Much Love
Miss Shannon & My Baby Bunny <humphity@gmail.com>
Always Missing & Remembering *Savannah* - Sunday, April 8, 2007 9:56 AM CDT

Dear Lisa,

From all of my family
To all of your family

From Our Hearts

With All Our Love

Happy Easter

To all my Angels

For all our Angels

It's been awhile since we last talked.

Well at least since I have.

I know you can hear me,

Your always listening

I can feel it.

You listen to my words ever so clearly;

Care about the things I say;

And I know you miss me

Because I can feel that too.

I can�t see you,

No I�m not blind

The love for you

has given me ability to

Hear you

Sense you

Feel your presents.

Even in death

You're still by my side

Just like you promised.

Seeing isn�t believing,

Believing isn�t seeing.

Just open up your ears

Hold them dear in your heart

And have faith

They aren�t gone.

As long as we live,

They live with us.

Saige <ohsaige@msn.com>
- Sunday, April 8, 2007 6:34 AM CDT

I could use Cassie's skills in the kitchen...
I set off the smoke alarm at church trying to
boil Easter eggs.

prayers for you during Savannah's anniversary month.....

God of love, we thank you for all with which you have
blessed us even to this day: for the gift of joy in days of
health and strength, and for the gifts of your abiding
presence and promise in days of pain. Above all else,
we thank you for Jesus. Amen

may you have a blessed Easter tomorrow.
mrs pam
- Saturday, April 7, 2007 9:24 AM CDT

I am glad that you enjoyed the concert. Cassie is growing up so nicely. Tell her to make the famous "butt cake" next!

You said it so well with "your mind and body just know". That is so true. There's just no avoiding it. Hang in there.
thinking of you a lot.

angel Rachel's mommy
jeanne <crowman2766@aol.com>
king of prussia, pa usa - Wednesday, April 4, 2007 8:46 PM CDT

Thinking about you today.
Jennifer Cook <andrewaustinadam@yahoo.com>
Wooster, AR USA - Friday, March 30, 2007 4:11 PM CDT

Lisa
I can't believe it's been so long since
I've visited Savannah's page. Cassie
certainly looks beautiful and grown-up.
prayers and love
mrs pam
St Louis, - Wednesday, March 28, 2007 11:34 AM CDT

Oh my, your Cassie is so beautiful.. She must be breaking your heart.

My daughter Emily is just under 8-1/2 now... and we are just dreading those days of dances and boys.....She's breaking our hearts already!

Your family is deep in my heart as you are going on 3 years without your Savannah.

((HUGS))
Jenn Hartley <ronjenn696@prodigy.net>
- Tuesday, March 27, 2007 3:42 PM CDT

I'm so jealous you get to see Evanessence again! I would love to go! I just love Amy and her voice is so haunting and beautiful. Every time I hear her I see Savannah and I picture you dancing with Savannah and Cassie. I hope you enjoy yourself. I know Savannah will be there with you.
I'm sure the tears come when you least expect them. That's good, I think. Tears are healing and therapuetic at times.
I hope your extension doesn't drag on too much longer. It's so hard to pick paint and other stuff, too many decisions.
Cassie looks absolutely stunning. So grown up, but looks like a girl. Absolutely perfect. She obviously has a lot of self esteem and should be so proud of herself. I can imagine how proud Jerry was to dance with her. You are blessed, all of you.
Thanks for sharing.
Lisa Kingsbury <dldarakingsbury@msn.com>
Sandy, UT - Monday, March 26, 2007 4:49 PM CDT

Cassie looks so beautiful! Just like her Mommy.
Have fun at the concert and God Bless.

www.caringbridge.org/visit/kathydubois
Please visit Kathy and leave words of encouragement

Jackie
Jackie
WPB, FL - Monday, March 26, 2007 7:11 AM CDT

cassie is so pretty!! I just wanted you to know that I am thinking of you and Savannah. Savannah had good taste in music, she was a cool kid.

angel Rachel's mommy
jeanne <crowman2766@aol.com>
king of prussia, pa usa - Sunday, March 25, 2007 10:37 AM CDT

I was a nerd, too... always did my own thing. I am so proud of Cassie. What a beautiful young woman she is. I know you and Jerry must have just stood in awe of her that night ~ and every day for that matter. She is growing up. My boys are, too. I am sure I will need Lexapro or the equivalent thereof when I send my baby Adam to kindergarten in August. These days just can't be over!! I am not ready for my kids to have to deal with cliques, etc.

Bryan told me that he got to see you last week. So glad our paths have crossed. I can assure you that Savannah has impacted my family in a way that is impossible to describe.

Enjoy spring! We are going to Branson tomorrow with the boys since they are out for Spring Break.
Jennifer Cook <andrewaustinadam@yahoo.com>
Wooster, AR USA - Thursday, March 22, 2007 9:33 PM CDT

oh Cassie you are growing up so fast!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! what a lovely picture and an evening to remember. I hope you have a good time at the concert Lisa.... I know what Jerry means about hearing the words. I thought the movie I went to the other night was way to loud..... my daughter said no it wasn't so I guess it's just me!!
Sharon <sholweger5@yahoo.com>
- Thursday, March 22, 2007 5:23 PM CDT

Hi Lisa,

Have fun at the concert. I'm sure Savannah will be there with you. Cassie looks absolutely gorgeous. She is really growing into a lovely young lady. I think of Savannah often and will continue to keep your family in my prayers.
Mary <miniteasets@mail2world.com>
Worth, IL USA - Thursday, March 22, 2007 7:59 AM CDT

With Much Love
Irish Sammi & her Irish Mommy <humphity@gmail.com\>
Always Missing & Remembering *Savannah* - Saturday, March 17, 2007 12:58 AM CDT

I hope you all have a wonderful time at the ball. I know that Cassie will look absolutely beautiful. Love, Celeste
Celeste <starrystarrynight25@yahoo.com>
Moultonborough,, NH USA - Friday, March 16, 2007 3:29 PM CDT

What a wonderful story you tell. I wish I could remember each detail of my daughters birth like you can. Such happy memories for you (yet scary also).
You amaze me with your writings and with your wisdom. I love to come here, its my peace time.....

www.caringbridge.org/visit/kathydubois
Please visit Kathy and leave words of encouragement
Jackie
wpb, fl - Thursday, March 15, 2007 8:38 AM CDT

The Four Leaf Clover

A four leaf clover...
A treasure...priceless and rare,
Like my child in Heaven above...
Now in God's tender loving care.

Each leaf...a meaning....a part of my grief
One leaf for strength...one for memories so dear...
One leaf for peace...and one for my faith in God above...
Each represents a part of my life..
My child in heaven...forever missed and forever loved.

The first leaf on the clover....
Stands for strength....to make it through the day....
From morning to night....darkness to light...
With Gods help each step of the way.

The second leaf on the clover....
Stands for peace...that only God can bring...
A Peace that restores my mourning heart...
Smooths the edges of the pain...
and help me learn to begin to live again.

The third leaf on the clover...
Stands for Memories...that I will always hold dear...
Their spirit will shine on in the memories left behind...
Although time may pass...they will never disappear.

The fourth leaf on the clover...
Stands for my faith in God above....
Believing with all my heart in what I cannot see...
Knowing we will meet again...
By the golden gates....in Heaven above.

Until then I'll keep my memories...
Tucked deep inside with love...
Along with my 4 leaf clover...
My treasures from Heaven above.

A Clover? A Treasure?
Blessings from above?
Strength, peace, memories, and faith
All sent from Heaven....with Gods everlasting love.
**~

BRENDA~**MY LOVING DAD'S SITE <brurka@shaw.ca>
****Edmonton~Alberta~Canada****, - Monday, March 12, 2007 11:20 PM CDT

hi lisa, at work... computer crashed at home... so have to be quick... think of you daily... my number changed again, yes. finally got a ca number. hope all is well - dx day was a downward spiral day for me so sending hugs for the birthday time... planning for LV in Aug... just need to know when and where! 408-829-6517
tami (angel celeste's mom) http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/celestevidayoung <tamara2077@hotmail.com>
san jose, ca - Monday, March 12, 2007 6:40 PM CDT

Happy Belated 10th Birthday Savannah!

((HUGS)) to your Momma...
Jenn Hartley <ronjenn696@prodigy.net>
- Monday, March 12, 2007 1:57 PM CDT

Savannah, I am so sorry I didn't sign in on your birthday! I was thinking about you. I'm sure you had a big celebration in heaven with all of your friends. The world was blessed 10 years ago when you came to stay only for a while. You have left your mark on the world and you continue to touch people's lives.
Lisa, Thank you so much for sharing Savannah's birth story. She was so anxious to join you! I hope that memory brings only smiles and warmth to you. Your time together was filled with such love and joy. It was just far too short. Thank you for sharing your beautiful girls with us. I'm sure that whoever said time would help ease the pain was not talking about the loss of a child. You are right, the parents and loved ones just figure out ways to hide the pain. I hope Savannah's birthday was a time for happy memories for you.
Lisa Kingsbury <dldarakingsbury@msn.com>
Sandy, UT - Monday, March 12, 2007 12:28 AM CDT

Happy Birthday, Savannah!
Anna S.
IL - Friday, March 9, 2007 3:35 PM CST

Happy Birthday Savannah!!!
I hope your heavenly party is a blast. What a sweet beautiful girl. My kids and I will have a birthday cupcake for you today. Praying for you today Cassie and Lisa, your angel is surely dancing around you today.
Vicky <bluevikki@hotmail.com>
San Juan, TX USA - Friday, March 9, 2007 12:19 AM CST

Happy Birthday Savannah!!
I am sure all of the angels are having the best party with Savannah.
I can't believe that she would be 10. 10 years ago, an amazing beautiful girl was born, she changed so many lives and she is missed by so many.
I hope she visits you in your dreams, and I hope you feel her kiss you and snuggle up to you.

I am thinking of you always....

Angel Rachel's Mommy
Jeanne <crowman2766@aol.com>
king of prussia, pa usa - Friday, March 9, 2007 9:54 AM CST

I know that Birthdays are such sad reminders of what we are missing and what our child is missing. I will keep you in special prayers today....
Sharon <sholweger5@yahoo.com>
- Friday, March 9, 2007 7:55 AM CST

happy birthday to a sweet princess!
susan <susanlebas@austin.rr.com>
austin, tx - Friday, March 9, 2007 7:47 AM CST

HAPPY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BEAUTIFUL SAVANNAH PHOENIX!

Lisa, your story takes my breath away...you will be on my mind and in my heart today.

Cassie, I'm so sorry that I missed wishing you a Happy Birthday, but I'm "old" and we sometimes forget--HA :)! So, I will say instead--HAPPY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BEAUTIFUL CASSIE--BELATEDLY!
Kim D--thinking of Savannah <kdanielson@earthlink.net>
MSP, MN - Friday, March 9, 2007 7:41 AM CST

Good morning Savannah. We are all thinking about you today on your 10th birthday. Love, Celeste
Celeste <starrystarrynight25@yahoo.com>
Moultonborough, NH USA - Friday, March 9, 2007 7:19 AM CST

Beautiful, so beautiful!!!!
Hohni Weringa <hohniw@hotmail.com>
Buffalo Center, IA - Thursday, March 8, 2007 10:22 AM CST

Beautiful, so beautiful!!!!!!
Hohni Weringa <hohniw@hotmail.com>
Buffalo Center, IA 50424 - Thursday, March 8, 2007 10:22 AM CST

Lisa, thank you so much for telling us all about the birth of your angel. Savannah Phoenix Hurley, what a beautiful name. What a blessing it must have been to hold her in your arms and look into her sweet face for the first time and have her look into the eyes of her mama. Thinking of you and your sweet baby. Celeste
Celeste <starrystarrynight25@yahoo.com>
Moultonborough, NH USA - Thursday, March 8, 2007 8:59 AM CST

I'm so sorry I missed Cassie's birthday! It sounds like she had a wonderful party. I hope they didn't torture you too bad! What a fun experience for all the girls. What a great mom you are to do that for them! Congratulations to Cassie on the quiz bowl. How awesome! I'm sure it was so nerve wracking. Cassie, you are an awesome girl. You should be so proud of yourself. You are a great example for your friends. I hope your birthday was awesome and that you have a great year being 12! Your mom, Savannah, and Jerry are so blessed to have you in their lives.
Lisa Kingsbury <dldarakingsbury@msn.com>
Sandy, UT - Tuesday, March 6, 2007 10:28 AM CST

Happy birthday dear Cassie. I hope it was the best party of your life.
Lisa, Thank you for signing my sisters guestbook. You are to kind.

www.caringbridge.org/visit/kathydubois
Please visit and leave a message of encouragement for Kathy

Jackie
WPB, FL - Monday, March 5, 2007 9:19 AM CST

Happy Birthday to a special girl "Cassie" .Hope your party was a rocking good time.
Sherry <cowpies5@aol.com>
- Sunday, March 4, 2007 4:10 PM CST

Happy Birthday Cassie!!

Lisa...just wanted to let you know that I am thinking of you.

Angel Rachel's mommy
Jeanne <crowman2766@aol.com>
king of prussia, pa usa - Sunday, March 4, 2007 9:04 AM CST

Happy Birthday Cassie!!! Sounds like a great party and congrats on the quiz bowl. I kow you worked hard for that too
ps I still have the little thank you note you sent me hanging above my computer
Sharon <sholweger5@yahoo.com>
- Saturday, March 3, 2007 10:32 AM CST

Happy Birthday Cassie. Hope you enjoy your party with your friends. Have tons of fun. Ann
Ann <radiogal62@comcast.net>
Scranton, PA 18504 - Friday, March 2, 2007 8:24 PM CST

Lisa.........i will be praying for the family of your friend.
How hearbreaking.

From the other side of that coin......i have friend whose brother has waited more than 2 years for a match..he desperately needed a kidney transplant.........this weekend they got the call....a perfect match had been made, he has now had the surgery and as of a short time ago his new kidney is functioning.......a true blessing for this young man as his time was getting very short.....

but the pain of the loved ones of the person whose kidney he got.....
Lord i pray for your tender hands to draw them in and hold them close.

hugs and blessings to you, Jerry and Cassie.......and the family of this young man....bless their generous hearts in this time of great sorrow and pain.
brandi <bjrfromwa@aol.com>
tenino, wa usa - Monday, February 26, 2007 5:29 PM CST

Lisa, I am so sad and so sorry about your friend's son. It breaks my heart to think of the pain and grief that they have to bear. I will keep them very close to my heart. Thank you for sharing this story with us so that we know what you and they are going through. Take care, sweet Lisa. Celeste
Celeste <starrystarrynight25@yahoo.com>
Moultonborough, NH USA - Monday, February 26, 2007 12:07 AM CST

I will be praying for your friends family and yours as well. GOOD luck Cassie at the quiz bowl.
Sharon <sholweger5@yahoo.com>
- Monday, February 26, 2007 8:12 AM CST

Always praying for your family. God bless you.
Please spread the word around about my sister Kathy who desperately needs prayers coming her way after a very recent diaganosis.
Her caringbridge website is:
www.caringbridge.org/visit/kathydubois
Jackie
wpb, fl - Friday, February 23, 2007 9:00 AM CST

GOOD LUCK, CASSIE--I know you will do great at Quiz Bowl. Um, I'm a little confused, Lisa???? Official word on what, or are you still talking about Quiz Bowl? Hey, it's Friday and my mind isn't what it should be (which isn't always too with it to start with--HAHA!). I'll be checking back....Have a great weekend, all!
Kim D--thinking of Savannah <kdanielson@earthlink.net>
MSP, MN - Friday, February 23, 2007 7:22 AM CST

Good luck Cassandra.I'am sure you will shine.Will be thinking of you and your team!Someone who cares in Hemet.sherry
Sherry <cowpies5@aol.com>
Hemet, ca - Thursday, February 22, 2007 2:12 PM CST

Dear Lisa--Even when I don't get by to sign the guestbook as often as I'd like, know that I'm always thinking of Savannah, and sending good thoughts for you, Cassie and Jerry.

Kim D--thinking of Savannah <kdanielson@earthlink.net>
MSP, MN - Thursday, February 22, 2007 5:44 AM CST

Lisa,

Just thought I�d sign in to let you know that I have been thinking of you and your family. It�s been a while since I�ve signed, although I read every entry ... guess I generally feel like I don�t have anything important to say ... but your honest words and Savannah are often in my thoughts and heart. I think it�s great that Cassie did so well in the Quiz Bowl � smart and beautiful, she�d do well at UMR, lol. I hope you had a great visit with your cousin, and you and Jerry had a wonderful Valentine�s Day.

Love and Light,

Ann
Colorado Springs, CO USA - Wednesday, February 21, 2007 10:02 PM CST

Lisa,Sending you hugs from Hemet!Happy Valentines Day...thinking of you all and Savannah.Someone who cares in Hemet.sherry
Sherry <cowpies5@aol.com>
Hemet, ca - Wednesday, February 14, 2007 2:22 PM CST

Happy Valentine's Day to all of you. I hope that your hearts are filled with love today and that you feel the love being sent your way by those who care about all of you and who remember Savannah.
Lisa Kingsbury <dldarakingsbury@msn.com>
Sandy, UT - Wednesday, February 14, 2007 2:01 PM CST

Savannah would be so proud of Cassie...probably be bragging to everyone that Cassie is her sister.

Happy Valentine's Day!!

Angel Rachel's Mommy
jeanne <crowman2766@aol.com>
king of prussia, pa usa - Wednesday, February 14, 2007 10:36 AM CST

Lisa, I know how to tape and mud. My father thought that it was a skill that we should all have. He also taught us to refinish furniture. He did the kitchen table and each of us kids did a chair. I have that table and set of chairs in my own kitchen now. However, what's a fish knife? : ) Cassie should be so proud of herself. I certainly am proud of her accomplishments and the fact that she enjoys it so much is just wonderful. She is a wonderful kid (young woman). It sounds like Savannah was Cassie's greatest fan. I am sure that she is very proud of her too. Love, Celeste
Celeste <starrystarrynight25@yahoo.com>
Moultonborough, NH USA - Monday, February 12, 2007 7:55 AM CST

Lisa--It has all been said so beautifully in the previous posts. I hope this finds you all well!

Kim D--thinking of Savannah <kdanielson@earthlink.net>
MSP, MN - Sunday, February 11, 2007 4:34 AM CST

Valentines...... To Heaven

This Valentine is not of the ordinary kind,
Its still filled with love...and blessings inside;
But mine has to be sent on the wings of love...
You see its destination is the Heavens above.

Its not being sent to my parents so dear,
For they are still with me each day of the year;
Its being sent to my child...who left earth so soon,
Who's now in the Heavens with the stars and the moon.

The message is the same as your valentine,
"I love you...my sweet precious child of mine;
My love is still deeper than the ocean is blue,
And its sent with hugs and kisses...from me to you."

"I know you are with me each and every day,
You listen as I talk to you...and hear what I say;
For that is one thing that disease cannot do...
...you'll always be apart of me...and me a part of you."

"I know God did not give you the awful disease,
Thank Him for His comfort He gives me...would you please?
I dont know what I would do without His undying love...
Sent to bereaved parents from the Heavens above."

"I know you are in the best of care,
But it's so hard for us left on earth to bear;
Could you put in a request from us left behind...
For God to send the knowledge..so a cure we can find."

"So that no other family has to go through this pain,
Our lives without you will never be the same;
When I get lonely I will look to the sky at night...
And see you shining down your big bright light."

**~

BRENDA~**MY LOVING DAD'S SITE WITH A NEW YEAR ANOTHER ANGEL <brurka@shaw.ca>
****Edmonton~Alberta~Canada****, - Friday, February 9, 2007 9:37 PM CST

Just stopping by to say hello.
Julie (Savannah's Mom)
www.caringbridge.org/ok/savannah
Julie Remington <Youthful64@aol.com>
Broken Arrow, OK USA - Friday, February 9, 2007 11:55 AM CST

I hope your sinus infection is cleared up and that you have been able to catch up on some sleep. I don't have anything important to say. You said it all. Through your grief and your honesty, though, you are helping people. I have never experienced grief and loss at a level that you have, but you are helping me to know how to be a friend and to support people around me that have. You will grieve your entire life and you need people around you who you can lean on and who will not judge you. There are no timelines. It is beyond my understanding how someone could think that you blame Savannah. Through it all you were right by her side. You laughed with her, you danced with her, you made her life one filled with happiness and love. You had to tell her it was okay to go. There is no more unselfish act than that. The people who truly care about you will not judge you. I care about you, I grieve with you. I will never forget Savannah.
Lisa Kingsbury <dldarakingsbury@msn.com>
Sandy, - Thursday, February 8, 2007 12:01 AM CST

Lisa,
I have been a lurker on your sight for so long, yet I've never actually signed your guest book..not even to tell you that some stranger somewhere was thinking about you and wishing you peace and comfort. You and I are a lot alike--we say it like it is, we don't sugar coat and we scream our feeling from our hearts. Let me tell you a secret...There are dozens, if not thousands, of people out there who wish they had the strength it took to be as honest as you are. They wish they didn't have to pull the party line, put on the happy face, and move on. Your sense of truth comes from a place so deep within that most people (at least those who have the gumption to stand in judgment), couldn't possibly comprehend. I believe that empathy is a gift..some people have it and some people don't. Find the ones who do, so you can be yourself without hesitation. You are and always will be a wonderful mother to two beautiful girls. I don't know why some mommy's have to give their children back; for some things there are no answers. I do know that the mother who has empty arms earned the title much more than the rest of us...Leaning over your sweet baby and telling her that they don't have to stay for you---I cannot think of anything more unselfish or more loving. God forbid I am ever faced with the same situation, I hope I am given the strength, selflessness and unmeasured love that you possess.
I do wish you peace, Lisa. You deserve it. You were given an impossible task and you saw it through with love and grace.
I have no answers. No one does. Just keep on being you and work through every day, every emotion, every tear, every smile, every memory and every new and good moment that awaits you.
May the sun shine for you and yours every day and may each smile remind you of your precious daughter.
With love and respect,
Lauren
Lauren
NY, NY USA - Thursday, February 1, 2007 12:22 AM CST

Lisa, I have never once noticed that you have blamed Savannah. I have never even noticed that you indulge in even an ounce of self pity. I have noticed how you reach out over and over again to others when they are in need of comfort and understanding. I see you as a person who does find the joy in everyday life. You do this in spite of living every day with an overwhelming loss. You do this with great courage and stamina, far beyond what most people could ever do. Every time you cry or scream or fall completely apart, you have earned that right and more. Many people are really afraid of real feelings. I honor your feelings and expressions of them and am grateful that you share yourself with me and so many others. Love today and always, Celeste
Celeste <starrystarrynight25@yahoo.com>
Moultonborough, NH USA - Wednesday, January 31, 2007 9:58 AM CST

I haven't been to visit in a while, but I think of you, Cassie and Savannah quite often. You -all of you- are such an inspiration. Thank you for sharing with us. I know it can't be easy. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Sara <SassieSara@aol.com>
New Gloucester, ME USA - Sunday, January 28, 2007 4:52 PM CST

Hi Lisa, We have never met. I landed on this page after clicking the link of another caringbridge member.
I spent a couple of hours reading your journal, and I am inspired by your strength, honesty, love for your daughters and your spirituality. How blessed your daughters have been and continue to be to have your guidance and love. Reading your journal has taught me the beauty of living for today- of sucking up every precious moment- even when you know that time is limited. It is a lesson that I doubt I could have learnt so powerfully anywhere else.
Wishing you you, Cassie, Jerry, and the rest of Savannah's loving family peace and happiness. Personally, I will NEVER forget what I have read here today. I have cried heartfelt tears, both of sadness and joy, and felt great wonder at your strength, wisdom and boundless love.
With love.
Kerrie <kezcat@hotmail.com>
Sydney, Australia - Friday, January 26, 2007 1:01 AM CST

Dear Lisa--As always, your words resonate. Just please know this, although we have never met and probably never will, I DO care--about you, about Savannah. Without judgments. Never judgment. People who have not been there do not know. Please do not let what you KNOW TO BE TRUE about yourself be cast into doubt by a person(s) who does not know.

Kim D--thinking of Savannah <kdanielson@earthlink.net>
MSP, MN - Thursday, January 25, 2007 2:51 AM CST

Dear Lisa--It's been such a rough couple of weeks in the Caringbridge world that I just had to stop by and re-read your post, and to tell you once again that Savannah is not now, nor will she ever be, forgotten by this person in MN. Hoping for a wonderful weekend for you, Jerry and Cassie.

Kim D--thinking of Savannah <kdanielson@earthlink.net>
MSP, MN - Friday, January 19, 2007 7:22 PM CST

Wow. How your words hit me. It is all about coping and choices, isn't it? You have to choose every day how your day is going to be. I didn't see it like that before. Every day your grief wants to swallow you and you have to make a choice to not let it. Most of us just have to choose what to wear, what to eat. I don't believe that time heals wounds. Like you said, you find a way to cope with the pain. Some people don't, they let it destroy them. You have made a choice to live through the pain and to honor that beautiful little Savannah who had to leave too soon and to watch the beauty of Cassie growing into the woman you have molded her to be. It is so sad to me that you have to hide your grief. I am sorry for that. Grief makes people so uncomfortable. One thing I have learned through your grief is to not be afraid to SPEAK THEIR NAME. It will not make their grief worse if I mention their loved one who died, it will actually help them to know that I still think of that person. My mom lost her brother when she was young, I never talked to her about it, I thought it would make her sad. You taught me to talk to her about it. Tell me about him. It's okay to still be sad and cry 40 years later.
You will never be "over" it. There's no such thing. For people to expect that is so unfair. I think it's not a conscious thing, I know as a woman and as a mother, we need to fix things, we need to make people happy, and to know that we cannot "fix" this sadness and grief that you will always have is hard to deal with.
I hope you had a nice time with your company. Blessings to you, Lisa, beautiful mother of Cassie and Savannah.
Lisa Kingsbury <dldarakingsbury@msn.com>
Sandy, UT - Wednesday, January 17, 2007 1:27 PM CST

Sorry i havent commented in so long.
I just wanted to say that that new pic of Cassie took my breath away - she is growing into an amazing and beautiful young woman.

Thinking of you all.

Laura
~X~
Laura Dunks <take_my_breath_away_@hotmail.com>
Exeter, UK - Wednesday, January 17, 2007 11:42 AM CST

Bereaved Parent Wish List
1. I wish my child hadn't died. I wish I had him back.

2. I wish you wouldn't be afraid to speak my Kyle's name. Kyle lived and was very important to me. I need to hear that he was important to you also.

3. If I cry and get emotional when you talk about Kyle, I wish you knew it isn't because you have hurt me. Kyle's death is the cause of my tears. You have talked about Kyle, and you have allowed me to share my grief. I thank you for both.

4. Being a bereaved parent is not contagious, so I wish you wouldn't shy away from me. I need you now more than ever.

5. I need diversions, so I do want to hear about you; but I also want you to hear about me. I might be sad and I might cry, but I wish you would let me talk about Kyle, my favorite topic of the day.

6. I know you think of and pray for me often. I also know that Kyle's death pains you too. I wish you would let me know those things through a phone call, a card or note, or a real big hug.

7. I wish you wouldn't expect my grief to be over in six months. These first months are traumatic for me, but I wish you could understand that my grief will never be over. I will suffer the death of Kyle until the day I die.

8. I am working very hard on my recovery, but I wish you could understand that I will never fully recover. I will always miss Kyle, and I will always grieve that he is dead.

9. I wish you wouldn't expect me "not to think about it" or to "be happy." Neither will happen for a very long time, so don't frustrate yourself.

10. I don't want to have a "pity party," but I do wish you would let me grieve. I must hurt before I can heal.

11. I wish you understood how my life has shattered. I know it is miserable for you to be around me when I am feeling miserable. Please be as patient with me as I am with you.

12. When I say, "I'm doing okay, " I wish you could understand that I don't "feel" okay and that I struggle daily.

13. I wish you knew that all of the grief reactions I'm having are very normal. Depression, anger, frustration, hopelessness, and overwhelming sadness are all to be expected. So, please excuse me when I'm quiet and withdrawn or irritable and cranky.

14. Your advise to "take one day at a time" is excellent advice. However, a day is too much and too fast for me right now. I wish you could understand that I'm doing good to handle an hour at a time.

15. Please excuse me if I seem rude, certainly it is not my intent. Sometimes the world around me goes too fast and I need to get off. When I walk away, I wish you would let me find a quiet place to spend time alone.

16. I wish you understood that grief changes people. When Kyle died, a big part of me died with him. I am not the same person I was before my Kyle died, and will never be that person again.

17. I wish very much that you could understand-understand my loss and my grief, my silence and my tears, my void and my pain. BUT, I pray that you will never understand.

Lisa I saw this and thought of you. you speak of having to hide your grief and it makes me feel so bad for you you shouldnt have to do that. I dont know you but I think about you often and pray for you. It is really really good.I borrowed it from a parent who just lost their child. With love Donna

Donna <donerleg1@yahoo.com>
Louisville , ky usa - Tuesday, January 16, 2007 7:11 AM CST

Hi lisa,
I just wanted to let you know I'm thinking of you. And there is not a day that go by that I don't think about and pray for the families of the brainstem group. I understand all too well of what your going through. The pain never goes away. Feburary 11 will be 3 years since Eric passed away. I can remember it like it was yeasterday. We too are dealing with family members who think " all Well it's been three years now you should be over it now." or those who clam up when I speak about him or share memories. I feel like an alien sometimes. No one understsands unless they have walked in our shoes, but like you I dry my tears and keep moving on and I pray to God everyday for strength to carry on another day. You are in my prayers always.

Cindy
Cynthia Richardson <Richardson888@Comcast.net>
Woodbridge, Va USA - Sunday, January 14, 2007 2:35 PM CST

HAD TO STOP BY AND LET YOU KNOW THAT I'M THINKING OF YOU.

LOVE BRENDAMY LOVING DAD'S SITE WITH A NEW YEAR ANOTHER ANGEL <brurka@shaw.ca>
EDMONTON,ALBERTA/CANADA, - Thursday, January 11, 2007 10:43 AM CST

Dear Lisa, Deep inside yourself you have a special shining secret and that secret is a little spitfire named Savannah. She grew inside you and came into this world and changed your life forever. You would not be the same Lisa without her. Cassie would not be the same Cassie and Jerry too. Who would Jerry be now if he had not been introduced to Savannah? Every time that you share your secret, you share Savannah. Those of us who have accepted that gift will never be the same. I listen differently to people now. I try to listen beyond the words and all the way to the heart of the one who is speaking. You have shared so much of yourself and your daughters with so many. It breaks my heart to think of you feeling alone but maybe you need that alone time with your daughter so that you can find your way through a lifetime of missing her. All I can do is stand by as your friend. Your beautiful secret is safe with me. Love, Celeste
Celeste <starrystarrynight25@yahoo.com>
Moultonborough, NH USA - Thursday, January 11, 2007 8:58 AM CST

Dear Lisa--Your post is incredibly powerful and, sadly, completely true. I will never totally understand your pain because it was my beloved husband that the cancer beast stole and, although young when he died, he did get to live a lot of life. My belief is that there is nothing, nothing more cruel and painful than the death of a child, so I will never equate my loss with yours. But I CAN empathize, and I can say that I have experienced the same reactions from other people. In April, it will have been six years--two days before our wedding anniversary--and so, in general, I get the feeling I should not still be experiencing grief at all. It's been six years, right? Well, they just don't understand. And so we cover it up. Just like you said; JUST like you said! I cannot even count the number of times that what you write is what I feel, and I just had to let you know the extent that this post resonates with me. I wish I was your friend, Lisa--you would never have to hide it from me, never.

Kim Danielson-thinking of Savannah <kdanielson@earthlink.net>
MSP, MN - Thursday, January 11, 2007 3:12 AM CST

Lisa, I am so sorry you feel you have to hide your sorrow. I understand it, but you're a Mom who has lost her beautiful little girl! I will never understand how you cope, not really. I wish I could just sit and listen and hug you and my Deb.
Forever Mel's Grammy <prileypriley@yahoo.com>
- Wednesday, January 10, 2007 10:35 PM CST

without the sappiness, you are important to my daily life. i think of you always and of your family and of savannah, of course. our angels. i don't know what to say at times and so, nothing comes. really, i care for you more than most of the ones here for me all my life and yet, not understanding. our babies. how can they be gone this way? forever? i still cannot comprehend. yet, i am glad for my so called 'silly' tattoo, the one constant in a life of cancer turmoil. moved, things are different. single and alone, single mommin' it but with a one hour drive to the beach : ))))) so, things are goooood. call sometime and i surely hope i will get to give you a REAL hug one day... i surely love you anyhoot! 412.606.6153 - the number's changed
tami --- angel CELESTE's mama proud forever! <tamara2077@hotmail.com>
santa clara, ca 95050 - Monday, January 8, 2007 2:54 AM CST

Just dropping by to say hi and I hope 2007 is being kind to all of you, so far!
Kim D--thinking of Savannah <kdanielson@earthlink.net>
MSP, MN - Sunday, January 7, 2007 9:59 AM CST

I'm glad to hear your Christmas was nice. I bet you look beautiful with dark hair. I have red hair, too, but feel ready for a change. I wish mine was natural like Savannah's. I'm glad your family was able to come spend the holiday's with you. I can't imagine all the thoughts that must go through your head constantly and wondering what Savannah would like, dislike, etc. You can always count on one thing, though, you know how much she adored you, and how happy you made her life. That, you never need to wonder about.
It's so hard to think about all of the families living every day without their precious children. My prayers are with all of them.
Lisa Kingsbury <dldarakingsbury@msn.com>
sandy, - Thursday, January 4, 2007 3:11 PM CST

Just thinking of you, Jerry, Cassie, and sweet Savannah. You all are still loved and missed, as is Savannah. Thank you for sharing her with us. All my love...
Carrie <calhoonct@archildrens.org>
Little Rock, AR - Thursday, January 4, 2007 10:49 AM CST

Here's a little post Christmas story....This year, every time I came accross a bellringer with a bucket looking for donations for those in need, I stopped and gave a donation. EVERY time. And each time that I gave, I did it in honor of Savannah. Sweet, open hearted Savannah. And each time I gave, I thought of her and smiled for everything that she has taught me including the pure joy of responding to the sound of that little bell. I plan to teach Myles to give in this same way. It is such a small thing but the feeling of love and the Christmas spirit is enormous. Thanks, Savannah, for all of your lessons. Love, Celeste
Celeste <starrystarrynight25@yahoo.com>
Moultonborough, NH USA - Thursday, January 4, 2007 10:46 AM CST

Lisa...thinking of you all and wishing you a new year filled with love.Because you can never have to much of that.Remebering Savannah with love and know someone cares in hemet.Sherry
Sherry <cowpies5@aol.com>
Hemet, ca - Sunday, December 31, 2006 5:31 PM CST

HAPPY NEW YEAR, LISA, JERRY AND THE LOVELY CASSIE!

Kim D--thinking of Savannah <kdanielson@earthlink.net>
MSP, MN - Sunday, December 31, 2006 9:24 AM CST

Lisa,
I'm glad to hear you were surrounded by loved ones on Christmas. I think that helps. I agree with the Christmas comment, it's also so hard to surprise them when they get older. I don't sign often, but I do think about you guys.

Cameron's mom (www.caringbridge.com/ct/cameron)
Carla Brooks <cmfbrooks66@yahoo.com>
West Hartford, CT - Wednesday, December 27, 2006 9:38 PM CST

hello, sorry its been so long! Ia m glad to hear Cassie keeps it all going. She seems like a great child! I was sad when they shut down the caged kids forum! But i will never forget the litle girl who made my day by sending me cards made by her and cassie. I still have them! Hugs!
georgia foxworthy <geegee_66743@yahoo.com>
- Wednesday, December 27, 2006 10:42 AM CST

Greetings ~

I am saddened to read of the passing of Jerry's mother. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Cassie is growing up so fast. She is a beautiful young lady.

May you all have a Happy New Year.

Blessings ~

Nicole and I
www.caringbridge.org/nm/nicole
Sky Fiske <Shefem@aol.com>
Belen, NM USA - Tuesday, December 26, 2006 1:47 PM CST

MERRY CHRISTMAS, ALL!

Kim D--thinking of Savannah <kdanielson@earthlink.net>
MSP, MN - Monday, December 25, 2006 1:18 PM CST

Lisa,What a pretty girl you are Cassandra.Very grownup and looking good.My deepest sympathy to Jerry and also to youall.Thinking of you all and hoping your new year is all you hope for.someone who care in hemetSherry
Sherry <cowpies5@aol.com>
Hemet, ca - Sunday, December 24, 2006 4:11 PM CST

The Stockings Were Hung:

The stockings were hung by the chimney with care
But one special stocking was no longer there
All that was left were the memories bittersweet
Of a life that had ended so incomplete

The family had pictures all gathered around
That sometimes made all of them tear up and frown
For the sorrow and sadness without their sweet child
Made it difficult for the whole family to smile

Although there were times when they felt him(her) so close
As if they were feeling some kind of a ghost
The signs that were sent were so special and clear
That they felt that he(she) truly was so very near

They often would talk to him(her) as if he(she) was there
Sometimes they would smile but also shed tears
For each Christmas that came brought with it such pain
That they felt in their hearts would always remain

Then one special moment on one special day
He(She) came to them and simply took them away
To fly through the heavens and up to the stars
A beautiful place that was not very far

He(She) showed them where they would all join once again
A place full of beauty no sorrow or pain
A place where he(she) is happy with heavenly friends
A place where we too will also ascend

After their amazing visit was through
This family was no longer terribly blue
For they finally realized one day not to far
They would all be together on a heavenly star

LOVE BRENDAMY CHRISTMAS ANGEL <brurka@shaw.ca>
Edmonton,Alberta/Canada, - Sunday, December 24, 2006 2:36 AM CST

Lisa,

What a sweet picture of Cassie -- thank you for sharing. One of the surprising things is how life goes on. I am sorry to hear about Jerry's mom (my mother in law passed away on 12-15-06 and it was very sad for me) and hope that he has some good memories to treasure as the years go by.
I hope that your holiday has some good moments and some good times. They are never quite the same, of course...
See you in 2007.
M ELTON
Richmond, VA - Sunday, December 24, 2006 0:09 AM CST

LOVE BRENDAMY CHRISTMAS ANGEL <brurka@shaw.ca>
Edmonton,Alberta/Canada, - Saturday, December 23, 2006 4:43 PM CST

Stopping by to wish you all a very Merry Christmas and a happy New Year. I am so sorry about the loss of Jerry's mother. I hope you are all doing okay.
Wow. Cassie is just beautiful. She has grown up a lot since the last picture I saw of her. I hope you guys have fun cooking and baking. That's time well spent together, but sometimes two women in the kitchen together can get ugly.
I hope you have a wonderful time with your family and that memories of Savannah bring a smile to your face.
Lisa Kingsbury <dldarakingsbury@msn.com>
Sandy, UT - Friday, December 22, 2006 4:08 PM CST

Wow Cassie! You are so beautiful and so grown up. It's been so long since I've seen you- you probably don't even remember me. I remember you though- and how you could make Savannah laugh, even when she had a horrible day. Jerry, I am so sorry for your loss. I wish you all did not have to go through one more tragedy. Life decides for us though, doesn't it? Lisa, may you and your family have a wonderful, loving, joyful, funny, incredible Christmas and may you feel Savannah's comfort each and every day. All my love...
Carrie <calhoonct@archildrens.org>
Little Rock, AR - Friday, December 22, 2006 2:50 PM CST

Jerry, I am so sorry for your loss of your mom.
Cassie...you are very beautiful, you get prettier everyday.

Lisa, thank you for your xmas card, I loved reading the update on everyone.

Angel Rachel's mommy
jeanne <crowman2766@aol.com>
king of prussia, pa usa - Friday, December 22, 2006 2:02 PM CST

Lisa, Jerry & Cassie...I haven't posted in a while, but doesn't mean that I don't think of you. I have seen Cassie at school and not seeing her very often, she really has matured into a lovely lady...much like her Mother. I wish for you the most peaceful, blessed Christmas season. Jerry, I am truly sorry for the loss of your Mother. X & O's.....Love, Paulette
Paulette <paulette@conwaycorp.net>
plumerville, ar - Friday, December 22, 2006 9:25 AM CST

Cassie, you are absolutely beautiful. Jerry and Lisa, good luck fighting off the boys. I'm sorry for the loss of your mom, Jerry. God Bless you all and have a Merry Christmas.
Debbie (Melody's Mommy) <rdschleigh@adelphia.net>
- Thursday, December 21, 2006 10:04 PM CST

Your girls are just gorgeous...

i think of you all every day
Shelly <shellydavis@kpmg.com.au>
Sydney, Australia - Thursday, December 21, 2006 1:21 AM CST

what a beautiful girl Cassie is. I hope you all have a good Christmas. I am sorry you have had so much sorry in the past few weeks. I know we will always miss our children who have gone before us....
Sharon <sholweger5@yahoo.com>
- Wednesday, December 20, 2006 11:15 AM CST

Cassie that picture of you just took my breath away. You are so beautiful!
Jerry, I'm so sorry to hear of the death of your mother. You'll be in my thoughts.
I hope yall have a wonderful holiday season, filled with many beautiful memories, both new and old.
Love yall,
Jennifer
Kaelei's mom <jen_mcdonald@cox.net>
AR USA - Tuesday, December 19, 2006 2:37 PM CST

Lisa, Jerry, Cassie--The very first thing I just have to say is what a beautiful young woman Cassie has grown into. That picture is priceless; although, I will admit it took me back a little to see how grown-up she is! Everytime my mind's eye has pictured Cassie, it is always in the tub with Savannah and lots of rose petals! Two very beautiful daughters! I'm so sorry to hear of Jerry's mother's passing; that is never an easy thing, either. On the other hand, Lisa, so happy to read that you get to spend time with your family of origin over the holidays. I just have the feeling that the minute you get into the thick of the cooking and baking, it will all come back to you :)! If not, you've always got "The Expert" to keep you on your toes! I think Cassie's interest in cooking is terrific! If I don't get back again this week, I want to wish all of you a peaceful Christmas!
Kim D--thinking of Savannah <kdanielson@earthlink.net>
MSP, MN - Tuesday, December 19, 2006 2:18 AM CST

Hello,

I am still thinking of you and all the other families. Take care and I hope you have a peaceful and joyful holiday. Take care.

Sincerely,

Trish Davis
(Noah's mommy)
Trish Davis <heavyzandt@hotmail.com>
Albuquerque, NM - Tuesday, December 19, 2006 0:53 AM CST

We looked for a Savannah Hurley Harley yesterday... The boys and I were out finishing up our Christmas shopping in Conway, and lo and behold if Santa himself wasn't leading a pack of motorcycles!! The Santa Cycle was even pulling a sleigh full of toys to be delivered to children in the hospital. What a neat sight that was... I have to confess I got a little choked up. How nice of these people to take time from their busy holiday schedules to remember those sweet kids who are sick. We talked about Savannah, and I have to say that she has been on our mind a whole lot this week after spending a day and a half at Children's Hospital in Little Rock for Austin's peanut allergy. (He is fine - we are in week 1 of a 2 1/2 year process of desensitizing him to peanut, so we go there every other week for a few hours.) So many beautiful children... it is heart-wrenching. I have seen it before with my cousin, but it tears your heart out no matter how accustomed you may be to seeing children with cancer. You just wish that somehow you could fix things for all of those sweet little faces.

Anyways, just wanted to say hello and tell you that we thought about yall when we saw that big troop of motorcycles, and we wondered if just maybe the Savannah Hurley Harley was in the midst. One thing that I AM sure of is that she would have greatly approved of their mission.
Jennifer Cook <jennifercook@conwaycorp.net>
Conway, AR USA - Sunday, December 17, 2006 2:20 PM CST

Lisa - I come to check on you often but dont sign the guest book that much. I want you to know that you and your family have and always will be in my thoughts.
Sara <SassieSara@aol.com>
New Gloucester, ME USA - Wednesday, December 13, 2006 6:00 PM CST

Lisa...Cassie...Jerry....stopping by to let you all know that you're in my thoughts--along with, always, Savannah. I know what music it is to my ears to actually hear someone say my husband's name; so, as I type Savannah's name, I actually say it out loud, too. Because it's a beautiful name and also because, even if it seems corny, to me it's not. I am honored to say her name. You're all always in my thoughts and prayers.

Kim D <kdanielson@earthlink.net>
MSP, MN - Wednesday, December 13, 2006 2:09 PM CST

It was hard to watch and I was terrified. I still can't believe it.
Savannah and Rachel were so sweet and beautiful. You are an amazing mom and I think of you often. Thank you for always being there for me.

Angel Rachel's mommy
jeanne <crowman2766@aol.com>
king of prussia, pa usa - Friday, December 8, 2006 4:21 PM CST

Lisa, Always thinking of you. Wishing you a peaceful holiday and I hope that Savannah sends you a sign that she is here with you all the time and that you two will someday be reunited. Take care of you and your beautiful daughter.
Karen
Angel Leah's mommy forever
www.leahsjourney.com
Karen James <pkkl916@hotmail.com>
- Friday, December 8, 2006 6:27 AM CST

Lisa--It's like you've looked inside my head and my heart. I did not lose a child which, to me, is the most cruel loss of all. But mine were the most important people in my life; first, mother-in-law, then my Mother, then my husband, then my grandmother; all within six years. The hardest, day-to-day, is my husband because he was also my best friend, my strength, my protector, my person who always had my back and loved me no matter what. It will be six years a the end of April since he died. I'm still trying to figure it all out, to heal, to understand who I am now. All of the years that I visited your site before I started signing the guestbook, your writing always touched me, and it continues. Today, I really needed to read what you wrote, so thank you.

Kim D--thinking of Savannah <kdanielson@earthlink.net>
MSP, MN - Thursday, December 7, 2006 9:35 AM CST

Dear Lisa and Cassie--You have both been on my mind this weekend, so I just wanted to stop by and let you know. The thing that is good and constant through everything is that you have each other...and that is beyond good. Take care!

Kim D--thinking of Savannah <kdanielson@earthlink.net>
MSP, MN - Sunday, December 3, 2006 11:41 AM CST

I am so, so sorry. My prayers for all.
Kim D <kdanielson@earthlink.net>
MSP, MN - Friday, December 1, 2006 9:27 AM CST

Lisa--I will add the extended family of you, Cassie and Savannah to my prayers, too. You are absolutely right about the "intimacy" of those times; it takes you to places that are wonderful and horrible at the same time. All part of life; but for you and Cassie, enough already. Ya know? I'll also say a little prayer for you to catch a break on the house stuff...
Kim D--thinking of Savannah <kdanielson@earthlink.net>
MSP, MN - Tuesday, November 28, 2006 2:15 PM CST

Dear Lisa..saying a prayer for Cassie and your extended family.Know my thoughts are with you too as you all deal with the loss of someone special to you all.Hugs from someone who cares in hemet.Sherry
Sherry <cowpies5@aol.com>
Hemet, ca - Tuesday, November 28, 2006 1:12 PM CST

I am so proud of Cassie and so proud of you for teaching her what family really is. My heart goes out to Cassie and Savannah's grandfather and his family and for all of you as you continue on this journey of life, love and grief. Love, Celeste
Celeste <starrystarrynight25@yahoo.com>
Moultonborough, NH USA - Tuesday, November 28, 2006 7:44 AM CST

Lisa,

Understanding all of your words in your journal entry. NOT understanding, along with you, why this happens. Thank you for your honesty. Know you are not alone.

Love and hugs,
Rhonda Hunley, Forever Connor's Mommy
<rshunley@comcast.net>
Hendersonville, TN USA - Monday, November 27, 2006 8:21 AM CST

Dear Lisa--It's Thanksgiving and, as I said in my previous post, I am thinking of you and Savannah and Cassie and Jerry today. I just want to wish you a Happy Thanksgiving...because what Celeste (below) said is so beautiful and so eloquent, there is nothing else I could say. Just know that her words speak for me, too.

Kim D <kdanielson@earthlink.net>
MSP, MN - Thursday, November 23, 2006 5:08 AM CST

Lisa, you are one of the people that I am most thankful for. From the first time I came to this site, I was hooked on Savannah (who wouldn't be?) but I was also hooked on you. A true mother, the ultimate protector, the laughing Lisa, the crying Lisa, who reaches out over and over again to connect, to console, to be real with so many who so desperately need to have someone real in their lives. A mother to all of the children. The mother to Cassie and Savannah. You share yourself and your daughters with an open heart. I honor and respect you with all my heart and I am so very grateful. I hope you feel the love all around you this Thanksgiving day including the sparkling light of your little spitfire angel. Love, Celeste
Celeste <starrystarrynight25@yahoo.com>
Moultonborough, NH USA - Wednesday, November 22, 2006 12:58 AM CST

I found your site thru Leah James' site. Your daughters are beautiful. I have been a silent follower for some time but wanted to sign today and let you know that people whom you have never met have been touched by your story and the stories of other children who fought this horrible beast. You have earned the right to cry and grieve in whatever way meets your needs and it is not for someone else to judge. Prayers for peace and comfort.
Stephanie
Canton, MI - Wednesday, November 22, 2006 10:09 AM CST

The Gap

The gap between those who have lost children and those who have not is profoundly difficult to bridge. No one, whose children are well and intact can be expected to understand what parents who have lost children have absorbed and what they bear. Our children come to us through every blade of grass, every crack in the sidewalk, every bowl of breakfast cereal. We seek contact with their atoms, their hairbrush, their toothbrush, their clothing. We reach for what was integrally woven into the fabric of our lives, now torn and shredded.
A black hole has been blown through our souls and, indeed, it often does not allow the light to escape. It is a difficult place. For us to enter there is to be cut deeply, and torn anew, each time we go there, by the jagged edges of our loss. Yet we return, again and again, for that is where our children now reside. This will be so for years to come and it will change us profoundly. At some point in the distant future, the edges of that hole will have tempered and softened but the empty space will remain - a life sentence.
Our friends will change through this. There is no avoiding it. We grieve for our children, in part, through talking about them and our feelings for having lost them. Some go there with us, others cannot and through their denial and a further measure, however unwittingly, to an already heavy burden. Assuming that we may be feeling "better" six months later is simply "to not get it." The excruciating and isolating reality that bereaved parents feel is hermetically sealed from the nature of any other human experience. Thus it is a trap - those whose compassion and insight we most need are those for whom we abhor the experience that would allow them that sensitivity and capacity. And yet, somehow there are those, each in their own fashion, who have found a way to reach us and stay, to our comfort. They have understood, again each in their own way, that our children remain our children through our memory of them. Their memory is sustained through speaking about them and our feelings about their death. Deny this and you deny their life. Deny their life and you no longer have a place in ours.
We recognize that we have moved to an emotional place where it is often very difficult to reach us. Our attempts to be normal are painful and the day to day carries a silent, screaming anguish that accompanies us, sometimes from moment to moment. Were we to give it its own voice we fear we would become truly unreachable, and so we remain "strong" for a host of reasons even as the strength saps our energy and drains our will. Were we to act out our true feelings we would be impossible to be with. We resent having to act normal, yet we dare not do otherwise. People who understand this dynamic are our gold standard. Working our way through this over the years will change us as does every experience - and extreme experience changes one extremely. We know we will have recovered when, as we have read, it is no longer so painful to be normal. We do not know who we will be at that point or who will still be with us.
We have read that the gap is so difficult that, often, bereaved parents must attempt to reach out to friends and relatives or risk losing them. This is our attempt. For those untarnished by such events, who wish to know in some way what they, thankfully, do not know, read this. It may provide a window that is helpful for both sides of the gap.

By
Michael Crenlinsten

LOVE ALWAYS BRENDA MY LOVING DAD'S SITE <brurka@shaw.ca>
EDMONTON ,ALBERTA

, - Wednesday, November 22, 2006 2:13 AM CST

You are the one of the original families I felt connected to enough to check in on from time to time. You and your daughter touched something inside of me. I am always hoping you will find the peace that is virtually impossible to find,I am sure. I must say Savannah was such a beautiful child--I would spend my lifetime mourning her loss as well.You have nothing to apologize for, absolutely nothing. The grief would be insurmountable. Just know there are so many still checking in on in you and remembering the beautiful child taken way too early from this world. Oh, yes, I would be pissed too!
Shelly
San Diego, Ca 92009 - Tuesday, November 21, 2006 11:25 PM CST

Lisa,
I'm always here. It is so damn unfair!! I am having such a hard time too. The only thing that keeps me going is my daughter here with me Kylie. When you are feeling down just think about Cassie and how she deserves a normal life as much as possible. I know our kids were robbed but we have no choice but to go on for those surviving. Please hang in there and feel free to call me or drop me a line anytime. Take good care of you.
Karen
Angel Leah's mommy forever
www.leahsjourney.com
www.leahshappyhearts.org
Karen James <pkkl916@hotmail.com>
- Tuesday, November 21, 2006 9:38 PM CST

Lisa--I was glad to see your update. In my humble opinion, you should cry, scream, express your grief in any way that you want, whenever you want, and for as long as you want. Like you, I choose to express mine when I'm alone; to me, that is the one concession I'll make to other people's feelings. Other than that, all bets are off--because it is OUR grief. There are no timelines, there are no rights, no wrongs--only what you need to do for yourself to stay sane and there for your oldest daughter and husband. With the holiday decorating, also do it for Savannah--now, I have no way of knowing for sure but, to me, she just looks like one little gal who would know how to enjoy a good holiday...so do it for Savannah, Savannah's Sissy, and Savannah's Mommy. As for me, I'll be thinking of you on Thanksgiving.
Kim D <kdanielson@earthlink.net>
MSP, MN - Tuesday, November 21, 2006 7:29 AM CST

I think of you often, and I think about Savannah not being here. I think about how hard it has to be to pretend to move on when part of you has been taken away. I think about how I would endure such a loss, knowing surely I wouldn't make it. I think about how none of it makes any sense to me.
Jennifer Cook <jennifercook@conwaycorp.net>
Conway, AR usa - Monday, November 20, 2006 2:28 PM CST

I will always listen.

Peace...
Bridget <peller6@mchsi.com>
MN - Sunday, November 19, 2006 9:43 PM CST

lisa
I have been wanting to call you. I just don't know when its a good time for me to call, let me know.
No...Its not fair at all...we did all the right things. The effort we make to try to be normal, the pain we feel every second, how exhausting it is, it wears on us....we need that release...we have to cry. sometimes "others" can't handle it when we cry and hurt and sometimes they do or say hurtful things. But you know what?? what some may say about how you grieve really doesn't matter, your grief is about you and savannah.
I feel for cassie and danielle. They hurt for and miss their sister, and for their mommies. All we can do is keep trying our best.

angel rachel's mommy
jeanne <crowman2766@aol.com>
king of prussia, pa usa - Sunday, November 19, 2006 2:23 PM CST

cry all you want. WHO is going to say it's wrong? Crying is the physical release of the emotions you're feeling. Since you're going to feel them anyway, why not cry and get it out? And then, when you have wiped your tears, celebrate. Celebrate that your baby doiesn't hurt any longer, celebrate that Cassie is here...and by all means let Cassie have her decorated Holidays. She will cherish the memories

Just my opinion, of course
Frannie
Grove CIty, OH - Sunday, November 19, 2006 12:45 AM CST

Lisa,

I miss getting to see you at the bank, but I think of you often. I keep up to date here, though. Please know that I keep you in my thoughts and prayers. I hope you all will have a wonderful Thanksgiving.
Bobbi
Dardanelle, AR - Sunday, November 19, 2006 11:29 AM CST

I'll drink to that. Cheated and it sucks! We didn't deserve it and neither did our sweet little babies.

Cameron�s mom forever!
Carla Brooks <cmfbrooks66@yahoo.com>
West Hartford, CT - Sunday, November 19, 2006 11:23 AM CST

You were thought of today in Hemet.Sending you hugs from there.Someone who cares Sherry
Sherry <cowpies5@aol.com>
hemet, ca - Wednesday, November 15, 2006 2:23 PM CST

Thinking of all of you. Especially that beautiful little redhead, Savannah. I just love the picture. And the picture of her and Cassie in the tub, that's one of the most beautiful pictures I have ever seen. I can imagine that the memory of that moment is even more beautiful. I hope all is well and that the home remodeling is coming along well. Seeing these little ones and what they go through is so sad, but I am so touched by them. Their death's will not be in vain, they have not been in vain. A cure will be found someday, of that I am sure. I pray that it is sooner than later. Nobody should have to go through what you guys did. My thoughts are always with you.
Lisa Kingsbury <dldarakingsbury@msn.com>
Sandy, UT^ - Wednesday, November 15, 2006 2:11 PM CST

Lisa, Jerry, Cassie--Just stopping by the say hi, and to look at Savannah's smiling face...
Kim D. <kdanielson@earthlink.net>
MSP, MN - Wednesday, November 15, 2006 10:43 AM CST

Just thinking of you and sweet Savannah. She could light up a room couldn't she? Even when she was so sick she had such a strength that you could feel...
Thank you for sharing her, she will never be forgotten and will always be cherished. All my love...
Carrie <calhoonct@archildrens.org>
Little Rock, AR - Monday, November 13, 2006 9:16 AM CST

Just want you to know that you are still in my thoughts and prayers. God bless,
Monica Coffey <tika98@yahoo.com>
Frisco, TX - Thursday, November 9, 2006 4:57 PM CST

Still here and wishing you a peaceful holiday season. Take care!
Trish Davis
Albuquerque, NM USA - Tuesday, November 7, 2006 11:07 PM CST

Hey Lisa............. wish I had some words... but just as there is no cure... there aren't really any words, are there?

But do know that you continue to be in my thoughts and heart and I stop by the site regularly to make sure you're still here.

Love.
M Elton
Richmond, VA - Tuesday, November 7, 2006 6:55 AM CST

Lisa, Im so out of the loop, i think of you often, and wondered if you and jerry ever did get married. And it seems you did! Finally! congrats! i havent read all the journals but fromt he ones i have read it sounds like your remodeling and married. and hanging in there. Im sorry Ive missed so much. I read that you said all the kids that were diagnosed with savannah have passed now. i know i followed all these same kids and its heartbreaking. and yet its so true how you said another generation faces it and will loose there battle. Its the hard sad truth. I just backed away. it was to hard following and watching these kids all die. I havent gotten attached to any new ones. its to painful. I wont ever forget you, or savannah! and Im so glad you snatched up jerry . it was so obvious you were crazy about each other! Im so happy for you! take care!
Kim <dakk2222@netnitco.net>
IN - Monday, November 6, 2006 10:13 PM CST

Lisa, I am glad that you were able to share Savannah with someone new. He, along with the rest of us who have been touched by your angel will never be the same. I am so grateful for my connection with your little spitfire. I love reading about Cassie too. She has grown up so much in the last few years. Your pride in her makes me smile. Thanks, as always for sharing your journey. Love, Celeste
Celeste <starrystarrynight25@yahoo.com>
Moultonborough, NH USA - Thursday, November 2, 2006 8:00 AM CST

Beautiful. Savannah is proud.
Kim D <kdanielson@earthlink.net>
MSP, MN - Thursday, November 2, 2006 2:34 AM CST

Thinking of you and hoping your doing ok.
Hugs from Alaska
The Alaska Gang <aklori72@yahoo.com>
wasilla, AK usa - Tuesday, October 31, 2006 3:01 AM CST

Thinking about you, as I do every single day. Just wanted to remind yall that we love you.
Jennifer

Kaelei's mom <jen_mcdonald@cox.net>
AR USA - Monday, October 30, 2006 6:55 PM CST

Here in MN, can't stop thinking of your beautiful little red-haired girl, Savannah. This has ALWAYS been my opinion--lots of us are brunette, lots are blonde, and some are gray, but it is only the special ones with red hair! Just my opinion, but Savannah does lend credibility to it......Take care, Lisa, Jerry and Cassie
Kim D <kdanielson@earthlink.net>
MSP, MN - Monday, October 30, 2006 6:14 PM CST

Lisa, All day yesterday, I was thinking about you and Savannah. I mean, REALLY thinking about you. I actually thought that today was the anniversary of Savannah's diagnosis and intended to write to you first thing this morning. I thought that was the reason that Savannah was speaking to me all day. But this morning I checked the journal history just to make sure of the date and found that the anniversary was actually yesterday. I swear she was whispering to me all day long. Savannah is one strong little spirit girl. You were in my head and my heart all day. I know that diagnosis day is a really hard day for you. I hope you made it through okay. Love to you today and every day. Celeste
Celeste <starrystarrynight25@yahoo.com>
Moultonborough, NH USA - Monday, October 30, 2006 7:12 AM CST

Hi Lisa,

Just wanted to let you know that I am thinking of you and your family this Halloween.

Love,

Diana, Mother of Angel Katherine
Diana Cross, http://www.caringbridge.org/tx/katherinecross/ <diana@houston.rr.com>
Houston, TX - Sunday, October 29, 2006 1:17 PM CST

Visitor 56,001. Thank you for sharing your story with us.
Anna
IL - Friday, October 27, 2006 4:15 PM CDT

Hi Lisa,

As like many other people I'm a lurker when it comes to Savannah's page. I drop by often to check it out. I usually don't leave messages, but for some reason I will today. Just want to say I'm thinking about all of you guys.

Hugs
Marsha
m/o Allison 1/18/90 - 9/11/04
Marsha Lardin <jlardin@lightbound.com>
Shelbyville, In USA - Friday, October 27, 2006 9:58 AM CDT

Stopped by to say Hi and thinking of you all.Someone who cares in hemet.Sherry
Sherry <cowpies5@aol.com>
Hemet, ca - Wednesday, October 25, 2006 12:40 AM CDT

HI Lisa, I have not signed in for a long time but I still come to read your site nearly every day. I still have the thankyou note pinned above my computer. One of these days I am gonna drive by and look at your place and see what you are doing to it, I know you think of Savannah and miss her so much, I still miss Mike and it has been a lot of years now (13 in Dec) Sounds like Cassie is really growing up ... call sometime maybe we can meet for coffee or lunch something. I still keep all of you in my prayers too..
Sharon <sholweger5@yahoo.com>
- Wednesday, October 25, 2006 11:19 AM CDT

Hi Lisa--Checking in from MN to let you know that not only am I thinking of you, Cassie and Jerry and hoping you're all happy and healthy, but also still thinking about Savannah...always thinking of beautiful Savannah! Take care!
Kim Danielson <kdanielson@earthlink.net>
Minneapolis, MN USA - Sunday, October 22, 2006 1:28 PM CDT

Lisa, just thinking of you so often lately as I know the end of October is a difficult time for you. I remember Savannah so often..............
Terri <ricknterrigeorge@cox-internet.com>
Russellville, AR - Friday, October 20, 2006 11:55 AM CDT

Just wanted to check in today and let you all know that you are in my thoughts. x's and o's

p.s. you are very often there in my thoughts
paulette <paulette@conwaycorp.net>
plumerville, ar - Thursday, October 19, 2006 8:45 AM CDT

I think of you often and remember Savannah.
Jennifer Cook <jennifercook@conwaycorp.net>
Conway, AR usa - Tuesday, October 17, 2006 7:26 PM CDT

It's hard to look at the mri. It takes us back to diagnosis and how much we didn't understand. Now looking at it, we have that knowledge. It's incredible that Savannah held on for so long. So strong and determined. I will never understand why this happened. I think Savannah and Rachel would have gotten along so well. Hang in there.

Angel Rachel's Mommy
Jeanne <crowman2766@aol.com>
king of prussia, pa usa - Sunday, October 15, 2006 10:33 AM CDT

You couldn't have stopped that monster. What you did was not let the monster rule your lives. You made sure that Savannah and Cassie enjoyed every day. You made wonderful memories to help get you through this. I'm so glad that you were able to look at the pictures without crying. I'm sure that's a very hard thing to do. You didn't let the monster consume you, that is huge. You should be so proud of yourself and of your girls. I'm sure you'll be glad when the house is put back together.
Lisa Kingsbury <dldarakingsbury@msn.com>
Sandy, UT - Saturday, October 14, 2006 8:41 PM CDT

Lisa--Celeste speaks for me, too; I could not have said it any better. All I know is, moving Savannah to keep her out of harm's way touched my heart. Just as it's been touched so many times through all of the years I've lurked on this site. MN hugs to you!
Kim Danielson <kdanielson@earthlink.net>
Minneapolis, MN USA - Friday, October 13, 2006 3:22 PM CDT

I love the way that you are always taking care of Savannah : ) Love, Celeste
Celeste <starrystarrynight25@yahoo.com>
Moultonborough, NH USA - Friday, October 13, 2006 7:45 AM CDT

I keep starting to leave a message and then get carried away and change my mind. I think about Savannah often - her pin is on my dresser. I wish we were meeting in Vegas again soon. I hope you are hanging in there and on your way to healing!
Miss you,

Take Care,
Cameron's mom (www.caringbridge.com/ct/cameron)
Carla Brooks <cmfbrooks66@yahoo.com>
West Hartford, CT - Wednesday, October 11, 2006 3:28 PM CDT

I hope the home remodeling is getting smoother. What a huge task! I bet it will be beautiful when done. I would love to see pictures. My 4 y/o daughter is standing by me. She has Down syndrome, she doesn't talk much. She saw the picture of Savannah and she signed "pretty". She then saw the picture of you in bed with Savannah and signed "sleeping" and gave me a big hug. She just knows. She knew I needed that hug. I wish she could give you a big hug. Anyway, just wanted you to know I'm thinking about you and Savannah and Cassie and Jerry. I hope Cassie is doing well and enjoying school. Take care.
Lisa Kingsbury <dldarakingsbury@msn.com>
Sandy, UT - Wednesday, October 11, 2006 1:50 PM CDT

Just thinking of you today and your red-headed fire ball. Wishing you lots of moments of PURE JOY! Love ya...
Carrie <calhoonct@archildrens.org>
Little Rock, AR - Wednesday, October 11, 2006 10:55 AM CDT

Lisa--I had to have my fix of looking at the picture of your little red-haired girl; Savannah is so beautiful! Just like her Mom and older sis :). More of those MN good thoughts to your family--Kim D.
Kim Danielson <kdanielson@earthlink.net>
Minneapolis, MN USA - Saturday, October 7, 2006 6:06 PM CDT

Lisa - you do not know me...but I read your journal entries over and over searching for any info when my daughter was diagnosed. I found such honesty and strength in your words..I wanted you to know that. I lost my daughter, Jenna..may 1st of this year to a brainstem glioma. I dont know when it gets easier or if it ever does..and the feeling that no one else on earth understands your heartbreak is overwhelming. I wish you happiness and peace on your journey.

Michelle
www.caringbridge.org/visit/jennabarber
Michelle <michelleflick1@yahoo.com>
Deltona, FL USA - Wednesday, October 4, 2006 1:18 PM CDT

Lisa, One of the things that I love about you is that absolute joy that you get from your interactions with little girls. It seems like the giggle, voice and wiggle of a little one pushes away your sadness for just a little while. Pure, sweet, innocent life. Just enough to make you smile. I believe that Savannah smiles too when she sees you so happy. Remembering Savannah.....Celeste
Celeste <starrystarrynight25@yahoo.com>
Moultonborough, NH USA - Wednesday, October 4, 2006 9:04 AM CDT

Hello lisa,Stopped by to say Hi.Sending hugs from Hemet..someone whom cares sherry
Sherry <cowpies5@aol.com>
Hemet, ca - Tuesday, October 3, 2006 12:08 AM CDT

Figured you would have headed to NWA for Blues, Bikes and BBQ. Sounds like it would have been a much needed rest. Love and miss you all.
Elaine <ergarrison@hotmail.com>
- Monday, October 2, 2006 8:45 AM CDT

Just wanted to drop by to let you know you're in my thoughts, as I continue to be honored to say Savannah's name. YAY for Cassie! Now, that is what I call being well-rounded! Good thoughts from MN--Kim D.
Kim Danielson <kdanielson@earthlink.net>
Minneapolis, MN USA - Wednesday, September 27, 2006 1:43 AM CDT

I check on your daughter a lot. I am attracted to her beauty.. :)

SO much so that when i became pregnant in November.. had i been told i was having a little girl, her name would have been Savannah. I lost that baby then got pregnant again in April.. I found out i August that i am having a little boy in January.. so no Savannah.. Yet.. I love her name.. :)

I hope things in your home renovations get worked out.. that must be so frustrating!!!!

God Bless..
Staci C. <bambolina9@aol.com>
Hamilton Sq., nj - Monday, September 25, 2006 11:19 AM CDT

On a solemn day I find myself compelled to post here a note of thanks. To Lisa, Jerry and Cassie thank you for making us like family. Lisa thank you for the insights, your frankness, the sharing of stories and most of all your caring. To Savannah, if only I had met you, but then maybe it is best to only hear of your stories. Never has a little redhead pulled so strongly on my heart strings. To all that post here your words, comments and stories shall forever be remembered. It is a debt to my heart that can never be repaid.

All of this combined has been like standing in a cool and gentle spring rain that has helped soothe an aching, burning heart. I wish I could find the proper words to convey to everyone how I feel but they fail me so a simple but heartfelt thank you goes to all.

I am humbled by so many.
M
- Monday, September 25, 2006 9:05 AM CDT

I think of Savannah so often, too. I still have a picture of her here beside my computer. Thursday night, a helium balloon was accidentally let go outside of Pizza Inn... I told the boys we were sending it to her. They remember. We all do. But, no one misses her like her Momma. I know that life goes on, but that doesn't mean it continues completely. I know if you could, you would count the days until you see her again.
Jennifer Cook <jennifercook@conwaycorp.net>
Conway, ar US - Sunday, September 24, 2006 11:01 PM CDT

wow, never a dull moment. I want you to know that I think of Savannah a lot. She's so beautiful. I also think about the bath pictures with the rose petals. That smile. Then, the other picture of you holding her, the love, that strong bond.
I am having those same problems about noone saying her name. It hurts, and I think we don't need to hurt anymore than what we are. It makes us feel so good to brag, talk, vent about our angels. Its what we have left, why would anyone want to take that away from us? But yet we are expected to go back to being our old happy ways, like we used to be.
Lisa...keep talking about Savannah. I stopped talking about Rachel to certain family members, because of not being allowed to, and its created a lot of anger on my part.
I shouldn't have stopped.
How are you doing now that school has started?

Angel Rachel's mommy
jeanne <crowman2766@aol.com>
king of prussia, pa usa - Sunday, September 24, 2006 12:30 AM CDT

Savannah? Every time I see a redhead of course!
Ron
Victoria, BC Canada - Friday, September 22, 2006 0:26 AM CDT

Hello Lisa,

Isn't it amazing how many people think by saying your childs name will somehow devastate you!! Little do most people realize that saying, Savannah or Noah's name is a healing thing and needs to be said. I think of you all the time and hope that you are doing as good as you can. I miss all the wonderful people from the conference and look forward to seeing you again. I think of all our children and the other warriors that are fighting this horrible cancer. I think our two little red heads are charming all the angels in heaven. Take care always!

Trish (Noah's mommy forever!)
Trisha Davis
Albuquerque, NM - Thursday, September 21, 2006 11:46 PM CDT

I think of her always but I will say her name more often. Don't know if you are familiar with Michael Johnson, but his song "I Will Whisper Your Name" comes to mind. "I will whisper your name when you're wounded and caught.
Oh when love beats so loudly a whisper is lost,
and if I made the rules and if time was the game
I would promise forever to whisper your name.
Well, if you strike a match and set the whole world a flame
and they used up the ocean and still prayed for rain.
When they cry for the guilty, I'll take the blame,
and when no one is listening I'll whisper your name."

I shall whisper her name,
Chemo Angel Holly Hart

Holly Hart <hartholl@sbcglobal.net>
Katy, TX USA - Thursday, September 21, 2006 3:49 PM CDT

SAVANNAH! SAVANNAH! SAVANNAH!!!!! I THINK ABOUT HER EVERY DAY TOO, WAY DOWN HERE ON THE SOUTHERN TIP OF TEXAS.EVERY MORNING WHEN I LOOK AT MY DAUGHTER I THINK OF SAVANNAH. JUST THE PURE SWEETNESS OF OUR GIRLS BRINGS ME TO TEARS. SAVANNAH IS LOVED,REMEMBERED,AND MISSED. BRING HER UP EVERYDAY IF YOU HAVE TO, IF SOMEONE DOES'NT LIKE IT, SO WHAT! IF ANYBODY HAS EARNED THE RIGHT TO BE REMEMBERED & TALKED ABOUT, IT'S SAVANNAH!!!!!!
VickyV <bluevikki@hotmail.com>
San Juan, TX USA - Thursday, September 21, 2006 2:30 PM CDT

Shame on me. I have been a lurker for a very long time--never signed because, well, what could I say to make a difference for you. Nothing. Your beautiful little red-haired girl, your Savannah...what could I possibly ever say about her to make a difference for you. At the same time, your sharing and your writing and your Savannah, have made a huge difference for me. So much so that sometimes I've felt a little guilty. Now, I just want you to know that even though I can't make a difference for you, I can say Savannah's name everyday. Know that she is remembered and thought of and spoke of everyday here in Minnesota. You are incredible, Lisa, and I wish only good things for you and your handsome hubby (Beef....it's what's for dinner...hehe) and the beautiful Cassie.
Kim Danielson <kdanielson@earthlink.net>
Minneapolis, MN USA - Thursday, September 21, 2006 3:17 AM CDT

I know it must seem like people are forgetting her, the guestbook entries get fewer, I'm sure the people around you don't talk about her like they should. But, I can tell you this. I think about her all the time. I hear songs, I think of her, I hear her name, I think of her. I see a redhead, I think of her. But, you are right, thinking about her isn't enough. People need to talk about her to you and say her name. She touched people and people should share that. I wish I had met her. I know her through you, which is wonderful, but I do wish that I had known her myself. I wish that I had memories of her to share with you. Savannah, you are loved and missed beyond measure. Savannah, you have made people love you without ever meeting you. Savannah, your mommy misses you so much. Savannah; beautiful, spirited, strong, loved, missed.........
Lisa Kingsbury <dldarakingsbury@msn.com>
Sandy, UT - Wednesday, September 20, 2006 3:50 PM CDT

Dear lisa,I'am sorry i haven't been to your site lately i got involved in another site cristithomas. She now has earned her wings.Savannah has never left my thoughts even now i always say her name especially when i see her picture.You can't hear me but just know that your SAVANNAH lives in my heart and her name will always be said here in Hemet.Take care and know someone cares in hemet.Sherry
Sherry <cowpies5@aol.com>
Hemet, ca - Wednesday, September 20, 2006 2:04 PM CDT

I believe many more than you think. You don't have to say a name out loud to bring up thoughts of her.
Thinking of you
tricia <triciabxny@yahoo.com>
- Wednesday, September 20, 2006 11:25 AM CDT

Every morning when I don the pin, Savannah, is on my mind. Every time I see the pin in the reflection from the mirror her soul grabs my heart. Sometimes we fail to use the power of the printed word to convey what is felt within our heart and what is on our mind.

Quand un ange touche notre coeur que leurs ames sont senties pour toujours et leurs empreintes de pas ne sont jamais effacees.
Mark
UT - Wednesday, September 20, 2006 9:23 AM CDT

Savannah is a popular name at the school my children attend. There are at least 5-10 Savannahs. Everytime I see one of them or hear their name called - I think about your little angel and how you don't have her anymore. I most often wonder how you, Cassie and Jerry are doing. When I think of what you went through and the pain you are still feeling, I just hurt at the thought of that. Please know I think of all of you often. SAVANNAH SAVANNAH SAVANNAH SAVANNAH SAVANNAH SAVANNAH SAVANNAH
Kym Little <kymlittle@comcast.net>
Mobile, AL 36695 - Wednesday, September 20, 2006 8:48 AM CDT

Monday afternoon I was checking out at Wal-Mart and was asked if I wanted to donate to the Children's Hospital foundation that they support. Of course, I said yes and I put Savannah's name on the card. So Savannah is posted on the wall here in NH. I feel her every day. She changed the way I look at everything in my life (and I never actually met her in person!). I will never forget. Never. Love to you, Lisa, today and every day. Celeste
Celeste <starrystarrynight25@yahoo.com>
Moultonborough, NH USA - Wednesday, September 20, 2006 8:27 AM CDT

SAVANNAH!!!!!!! I don't sign often but I say her name everyday. I am here everyday. Even though I am quiet about it. What you don't know about Savannah is that she brought me my best friend in life. I somehow or another got Savannah's site from another guestbook entry you wrote. I checked it out and has been here ever since. Well, Ange Trick from Canada (www.caringbridge.org/canada/babyjacob) signed your guestbook. I checked it out and fell in love with the most beautiful little chubby check boy ever. Ange and I have become best friends and in fact 2 years later, Ange just got married and I was her maid of honor. I flew in from North Carolina to Canada for the wedding. It was only the 3rd time I have ever met her face to face. We have a bond that is so strong and hard to put into words that would do it justice. All of this because of one special little red headed girl named Savannah. I am forever grateful for Savannah coming into my life and to you for sharing her with the rest of us. It is so easy to shut yourself off from the rest of the world and grieve. You let us in your heart and let us feel your pain and you are real with us about your emotions...no matter what. That is what makes you so great. I have always been drawn to your journals. Your honesty, integrity, your love, pain and devotion are so 100% pure. I know there are no words or emotions good or bad enough to describe what you go through daily. Just know we are here for you in the haul of life. We love you all and especially SAVANNAH.
Carol Burgess <my2farmboys@peoplepc.com>
Conway, Nc USA - Wednesday, September 20, 2006 8:27 AM CDT

Savannah was on my mind in the shower this a.m. My daughter woke up early to take a shower with me. Savannah was there as was www.christithomas.blogspot.com. Another Angel who earned her wings much too soon. Christi was also the same age as Tiah and Savannah. Why does this happen? why do parents have to sit back and be able to do nothing but pray that their child will be taken so they don't have to suffer any longer....I hope someday soon someone can figure out this answer and save these children. Anyway....Hope all is well in the Newlywed household and that Cassie is enjoying school.
Hohni <hohniw@hotmail.com>
Elmore, Mn - Wednesday, September 20, 2006 7:50 AM CDT

I think of Savannah EVERY DAY because I check your web site EVERY DAY!!!!

SAVANNAH SAVANNAH SAVANNAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What a beautiful name you gave her!!!!!

OK - hope to hear from you soon and more pictures!!!!

GOD BLESS!!!!!

Janis Goehner <Janis Goehner@Hotmail.com>
Lakeville, MN USA - Tuesday, September 19, 2006 10:51 PM CDT

Hi Lisa

I wanted to let you know that I am thinking of you and I hope that you are doing ok. You have been pretty quiet.

angel Rachel's Mommy
jeanne <crowman2766@aol.com>
king of prussia, pa usa - Monday, September 18, 2006 4:23 PM CDT

She is just so BEAUTIFUL. I am so sorry that you had to lose her. I wish you peace and love. Don't worry she's taking care of you all just open up and feel her.
Love from Texas.

Vicky Vela <bluevikki@hotmail.com>
San Juan, TX USA - Thursday, September 14, 2006 1:32 PM CDT

just read your update about the dpg data base.
So needed!
I always see so many guestbook messages from
other parents with answers/ideas.
mrs pam
- Thursday, September 7, 2006 9:02 AM CDT

Lisa, thanks for putting this picture back on, i just love it...
Ellen and Sammi Robertson www.caringbridge.org/mi/sammijean yahoo PBT <Scanmom@hotmail.com>
Wyandotte, mi - Thursday, September 7, 2006 8:13 AM CDT

Jerry, Lisa, and Cassie (Cotillion?! Already??!!) --

Sugaree

When they come to take you down
When they bring that wagon round
When they come to call on you
and drag your poor body down

Just one thing I ask of you
Just one thing for me
Please forget you knew my name
My darlin Sugaree

Shake it, shake it Sugaree
Just don't tell them that you know me

You thought you was the cool fool
Never could do no wrong
Had everything sewed up tight
How come you lay awake all night long?

Just one thing I ask of you
Just one thing for me
Please forget you knew my name
My darlin Sugaree

Shake it, shake it Sugaree
Just don't tell them that you know me

You know in spite of all you gained
you still have to stand out in the pouring rain
One last voice is calling you
and I guess it's time you go

Just one thing I ask of you
Just one thing for me
Please forget you knew my name
My darlin Sugaree

Shake it, shake it Sugaree
Just don't tell them that you know me

Shake it up now, Sugaree
I'll meet you at the Jubilee
If that Jubilee don't come
Maybe I'll meet you on the run

One thing I ask of you
Just one thing for me
Please forget you knew my name
my darling Sugaree

Shake it, shake it Sugaree
but don't tell them that you know me
Shake it, shake it Sugaree
Just don't tell 'em that you know me

M Elton
Richmond, VA - Wednesday, September 6, 2006 12:32 AM CDT

I LOVE THIS PICTURE of Savannah!!!!! What a great start to my morning!

Thinking and praying for you every day! I don't even know you but somehow I am drawn to your website every day! Thanks for journaling and I look forward to see how you and your family are doing.

God Bless!!!

Janis Goehner <Janis Goehner@Hotmail.com>
Lakeville, MN USA - Wednesday, September 6, 2006 7:49 AM CDT

I was watching the VMAs tonight w/ my 2 daughters and Amy from Evanessence came on and I thought about Savannah and how much she liked her. Have fun at your concert tonight. Tell Cassie have fun at her dance. Always thinking of and praying for you, Angelique Parker and family

www.caringbridge.org/oh/harleiparker
angelique parker <pfloyd326@yahoo.com>
ohio - Thursday, August 31, 2006 9:14 PM CDT

Keeping you in my thougths and in my prayer's always.

Love Brenda MY LOVING DAD'S SITE <brurka@shaw.ca>
Edmonton,Alberta

, - Wednesday, August 30, 2006 9:31 PM CDT

Thinking of you!
Trish Davis
Albuquerque, NM USA - Tuesday, August 29, 2006 9:30 PM CDT

Lisa:

You speak from your heart and for so many of us other dbg parents... thank you
Wendy (Forever Loving Mommy to Noelle & Nicholas) <wbaber@triad.rr.com>
Winston Salem, NC USA - Friday, August 25, 2006 7:18 AM CDT

Thank you for writing and sharing your thoughts and feelings. I feel honored to have met you and I want to thank you as well for our conversation. I felt so close to all of you and had never met you. It is cool to me that we could all share such personal things in such a short period of time. I hope you are well and please keep in touch with me. I think you have my e-mail? Take care!

Trish
Albuquerque, NM USA - Thursday, August 24, 2006 10:44 AM CDT

thinking of you often... need to take the time and journal but the words escape me sometimes... sounds like you keep busy these days... the pictures are beautiful... sending hugs* and love*
Tami, Angel Celeste's proud mama forever, Angel Celeste's site <tamara2077@hotmail.com>
pgh, pa - Sunday, August 20, 2006 11:09 AM CDT

Lisa...you might already know this,but if not check out Camerons page.There is a link to a video.It is very touching...a special tribute to all the little angels.Very special pictures with music.Someone who cares in Hemet.Sherry
Sherry <cowpies5@aol.com>
Hemet, ca - Saturday, August 19, 2006 5:19 PM CDT

I got the chills reading your entry. Its true, people were always drawn to our angels. I am glad that you were there for that little girl...she will probably always remember you as "that nice lady on the plane."

Angel Rachel's Mommy
Jeanne <crowman2766@aol.com>
king of prussia, pa usa - Saturday, August 19, 2006 10:36 AM CDT

I hope you had a happy birthday. I'm sure it would have been better if you had been at home. I admire your strength for going to the conference, it must be very hard, but it must really help other families to meet someone like you. I am in tears over your story about the angel on the airplane. I think sometimes God does know just what we need. Even though it was so hard for you, it was so good for you. I can't bear to imagine how it must feel to not be able to hold your baby. I am so happy for you that you had the time you did with Savannah, but I know it wasn't enough. It is just heartbreaking to think of the pain you live with. I'm so sorry............. I love the new song by Evanessence, I thought of you as soon as I heard it and wondered if you had heard it yet. Her voice is so beautiful and so haunting. I pray for safe travels for you and for happier times ahead.
Lisa Kingsbury <dldarakingsbury@msn.com>
Sandy, UT - Thursday, August 17, 2006 3:42 PM CDT

Happy birthday to you.. Happy birthday to you.. Happy birthday dear lisa Happy birthday to you.The airplane angel story gave me the goosebumps.Praying for her and you Lisa.Have a good one with your sweetie.Someone who cares in Hemet.sherry
sherry <cowpies5@aol.com>
Hemet, ca - Wednesday, August 16, 2006 2:44 PM CDT

Birthday hugs, wishes and love to Lisa, my sweet and brave, brave friend. Tears ran down my face as I read your description of your encounter with your airplane angel. I really cried when you got to hold her. These children (all three of them) seemed to know instictively that you were a mother. You were a gift to them and they were a gift to you. I hate your pain but I love your spirit and the way that you face your deepest emotions head on. I am honored to be your friend. I wish you peace on your birthday and every day. Love, Celeste
Celeste <starrystarrynight25@yahoo.com>
Moultonborough, NH USA - Wednesday, August 16, 2006 12:11 AM CDT

your words were so eloquent. my heart aches that you are in so much pain
tricia <triciabxny@yahoo.com>
- Wednesday, August 16, 2006 9:33 AM CDT

Lisa...hope everything went well.Spending time with others hopefully was a blessing.Thinking of you and your little red.Someone who cares in hemet.sherry
Sherry <cowpies5@aol.com>
Hemet, ca - Monday, August 14, 2006 1:36 PM CDT

Lisa, Jerry & Cassie: Thinking about you. I loved your writing Jerry. My husband is romantic and we have been married 41 years this December. Keep it up, Jerry. You are a gem!
paulette <paulette@conwaycorp.net>
plumerville, ar - Friday, August 11, 2006 9:25 AM CDT

To my wife and my best friend
I love you and all that you stand for I know that I dont express it enough but you and you alone light up my nights as well as my days You make me whole even though I dont let you know it often enough The best thing that ever happened in my life may have also been the worst thing at the same time but in the end I got to have a very loving and tender woman as my wife and for that I am so extremly blessed I love you and Cassie so much more than I could ever put into words LISA MY LOVING WIFE I LOVE YOU SIGNED THE PAINTER
JERRY JOHNSON <JERRYSDOG2001@YAHOO.COM>
russellville, ar usa - Sunday, August 6, 2006 9:57 PM CDT

lisa
I am so sorry that you had that type of dream. Those steroid days are so haunting. It breaks my heart about the steroid effects.
When I look at Rachel's steroid photos and the before photos...it chokes me. I think to myself.."how did that not affect me like this during that time? Didn't I see it?"
Then I thought about all of the emotions that was going on during that time, the fear, the worry, but grateful she was here for me to hear her, touch her, hug her, and kiss her. She was still here and that is what mattered. Now Rachel is not here...and that race for time is gone. When I look at the photos, my perspective is different and it's painful.
I pray you have nice dreams of Savannah.

Angel Rachel's Mommy
Jeanne <crowman2766@aol.com>
king of prussia, pa usa - Friday, July 21, 2006 4:16 PM CDT

Lisa and family-
I have been following Savannah's site for quite a while. Each year I buy luminaries for the McLeod County Relay for Life in MN and I choose different children each year from the list of my sites that I go to. This year I chose Savannah to get a luminary. My 2 daughters (7 & 4) and I designate a weekend to do them and as we are decorating them, I tell them about that child and if they had siblings, etc. The girls understand that some of the children have died and others may still be fighting the disease.

I just wanted to share with you that your Savannah will be recognized in MN. :0)

Always in my thoughts and prayers.
Becky L. Harbarth <peanutpie3879@netscape.net>
Gaylord, MN USA - Friday, July 21, 2006 12:02 AM CDT

I have a good friend and colleague who is is her final hours right now after living with cancer for several years. The crisis that brought her to this point happened at work, her place of sanity, the place that she held to when nothing else made sense. Her daughter is with her, during a previously scheduled month long visit from out of state. My friend has shown incredible courage through horrific circumstances. She has continued on with physical symtoms that would have sent me to bed with the covers over my head. She never quit. In a way, she reminds me of the Caringbridge kids. They never quit. They live life to the fullest. They LIVE while they are alive. I am so very proud of my friend. I swear that she planned this her transition down to the smallest detail. She finished a major work project. She got new furniture for her staff. She allowed people to say goodbye. She is doing it on her terms which is how she lived. I am convinced now more than ever that there is so much more to this journey than we can see or understand. I am convinced but today I am sick with sadness and grief. It feels like a kick in the stomach. I am angry, so angry at the beast called cancer. I am totally churned up, can't think, can't work, can't talk without babbling or crying. But through it all, I feel love and pride for my friend. For her life, for her choices, for her laugh, for her spirit. Cancer truly is a beast but it can't take away what is really important, the spirit of who we are. Lisa, you were Savannah's safest place. You were the one that she turned to and you were there for her. She had the chance to be the little girl that she was meant to be because of your intense love. We all hope that those that we love know that we love them, that we say and do all of the right things during our human existence to express what we really feel. I believe with all my heart that they know. Lisa, you have taught me so much about love, about holding on and about letting go. Love to you and yours and especially Savannah, today and every day.
Celeste
Celeste <starrystarrynight25@yahoo.com>
Moultonborough, NH USA - Friday, July 21, 2006 10:00 AM CDT

Oh Lisa (and Jerry and Cassie, too!) - I'm so very happy for all of you. May you find happiness, love, and good health around every corner. Prosperity is nice, too - but in the brain tumor world, we all know it's relatively unimportant. My second marriage (of just about 3 years) has been a blessing. My first husband (of nearly 25 years) died in 2001, and I never thought I would marry again, let alone find a man as wonderful as Clem. He is truly my soulmate. I pray the two of you enjoy the same love and comraderie that we do. From many of the things you have written about Jerry, he kind of reminds me of Clem. I have no grandchildren from my two living sons (I have a 22 year old son who died in 2001, 3 weeks before my husband did.) - but 6 of them from Clem's 3 daughters, including my precious Haley. She is getting close to the end now, and I find myself drawn to your journal time and time again. I finally shared it with Susie (Haley's mom) the other night, to try to prepare her for what the final days/weeks may be like. She was so touched by your story and your writing. We now talk about Savannah almost daily. I just know she's waiting to greet Haley and take her under her angel wings when she arrives in Heaven, and I am strangely comforted by that image. As you know, Savannah lives on in all of hearts. Her life has touched so many, but I don't need to tell you that. Please write if you ever get a chance and feel like "talking". Again, my heartiest and bestest wishes! Sophia (grandmom to Haley, age 4, DX DIPG 12/15/04)
Sophia Altieri <scaltieri@hotmail.com>
Titusville, NJ 08560 - Wednesday, July 19, 2006 10:39 PM CDT

thinking of you
mrs pam
- Wednesday, July 19, 2006 11:00 AM CDT

Gosh.

You look very happy. And that's allowed. Totally.

:-)
M Elton
Richmond, VA - Sunday, July 16, 2006 11:57 PM CDT

There's something in a simple hug
That always warms the heart.
It welcomes us back home again
And eases the pain when we part.

A hug's a way to share the joy
And the sad times we go through.
Or just a way for friends to say
They like you 'cause you're you.

Hugs are meant for everyone.
For those we really care,
From your grandma to your neighbor,
Or that cuddly teddy bear.

A hug is an amazing thing.
It's just the perfect way
To show the love we're feeling
But fail to find the words to say.

It's funny how a little hug
Makes everyone feel good.
In every place and language,
It's always understood.

Hugs don't need new equipment,
Special batteries or parts.
Just open up your arms
followed by an open heart.

Earth bound and heavenly hugs to the four of you.
Saige
- Friday, July 14, 2006 2:24 PM CDT

Lisa- Haven't signed for a while, but I check daily. I was at the grocery store the other day...I bought a Relay for Life hanging. Savannah now has her name on the wall in Fairmont, MN....I tried to look at Rachel's page, but I see it's password protected. Hope all is well with them...
Hohni <hohniw@hotmail.com>
Elmore, MN - Thursday, July 13, 2006 1:21 PM CDT

Lisa,
I am fighting back the tears right now. As I read your entry I had a huge lump in my throat. I know how those steroids haunt us. For the past couple days I have been looking at pictures of Rachel. I know what you mean about that lifeless look in their eyes. I used to, before her diagnoses say her eye lost that "twinkle" and that it looks like coal. It would come and go. I thought maybe she was depressed or sad at times. She also got emotional at times.
I now look at her pupils in her pictures of back then. I zoomed onto her eyes to get a closer look....her pupil was completely blown. It was real big in one eye and looked very dull. A friend of mine is in the medical field and she saw it. She said that was definetly something going on in the brainstem. There are quite a few pictures of her looking like that off and on. It haunts me but also gives me answers about the timeline.
As much as I hate the steroids...I do believe that it helped her too, pain wise. I wish we were never in this position to begin with, our decisions will always bother us.

Please remember I am only a phone call away.

angel Rachel's mommy
jeanne <crowman2766@aol.com>
king of prussia, pa usa - Wednesday, July 12, 2006 3:29 PM CDT

Lisa..We all wish at sometime in our lives we could go back and change what we think we should have done.That is life, no one lives without regrets.In your case Lisa I know you did what any mother would do.Your child came first.In hindsight we all see things different.Don't let that fool you.You did everything you could for you baby..as anyone in your situation.Looking back we all see things we would change..but would we really.Someone whos thinking of you and cares.Hugs to you.Sherry
Sherry <cowpies5@aol.com>
Hemet, ca - Wednesday, July 12, 2006 2:34 PM CDT

I am glad that Jerry was able to come and sprinkle some of his magic in your household. It sounds like he had a great effect on you and on Cassie. You are always in my heart. Celeste

Celeste <starrystarrynight25@yahoo.com>
Center Harbor, NH USA - Friday, November 4, 2005 12:05 AM CST

Lisa, I love the new picture.. two cuties!Thinking of you guys and sending you hugs from Hemet.Someone who cares in Hemet Sherry
Sherry <cowpies5@aol.com>
Hemet, ca usa - Thursday, November 3, 2005 12:33 AM CST

Ahhh....you changed the opening picture. I love this one of your two beauties on their first communion day. Love, Celeste
Celeste <starrystarrynight25@yahoo.com>
Center Harbor, NH USA - Wednesday, November 2, 2005 7:48 AM CST

I been thinking about you this weekend too. Did not have time to sign in my momma died Sat night she was 91 I know you will remember her from the time you wre here.
Sharon <sholweger5@yahoo.com>
- Monday, October 31, 2005 3:47 PM CST

LOVE ALWAYS BRENDA My Loving Dad's Site <brurka@shaw.ca>
EDMONTON,ALBERTA CANADA, - Sunday, October 30, 2005 11:33 PM CST

I have been thinking of you all weekend... now I know why...
you are loved
Shelly <shelly.davis@atkearney.com>
Sydney, Australia - Sunday, October 30, 2005 2:54 PM CST

We love you.
beverly white
paris, tx - Saturday, October 29, 2005 10:24 PM CDT

I know today is the day. And all I know to say is that I am so, so sorry. I hate the reality of it all...because I know that there are no guarantees that I will enjoy tomorrow with my babies...there is no reason why what happened to Savannah couldn't also happen to one of my boys. Today is all I have, and I want to savor every moment. You are admired, respected and loved.
Jennifer Cook <jencook@conwaycorp.net>
Conway, AR USA - Saturday, October 29, 2005 9:11 PM CDT

I am thinking of you today. I know that there is nothing that can be said that will make you feel better but please know that many people care about you and are praying for you.
Kathleen
St. Peters, MO - Saturday, October 29, 2005 8:28 PM CDT

Thinking of you today.

I know theres nothing I can say- so I wont pretend to come up with something profound. All I can say is we love you.
Jennifer
Kaelei's mom <mamajenn@sbcglobal.net>
Centerton, AR USA - Saturday, October 29, 2005 9:39 AM CDT

Always thinking of your, and keeping you in my prayers...
Marcia, Stephen, Nicole, Meghan, Kayla, Chrissy, Emily and Angels Sonja and Tanner, http://fivegoofs.tripod.com <marciat@sympatico.ca>
Bradford, ON Canada - Friday, October 28, 2005 10:20 PM CDT

Lisa, my thoughts are with you and Cassie and hoping you will find your peace and strength to go on.Hugs sent your way from afar nothing else i can do just know I trully care...Thinking of Savannah God Bless you little angel..someone who cares in hemet.Sherry
Sherry <cowpies5@aol.com>
Hemet, ca usa - Friday, October 28, 2005 1:47 PM CDT

The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched... they must be felt with the heart. - Helen Keller
a friend
- Friday, October 28, 2005 1:44 PM CDT

Stopping by to say that you're being thought of and I am keeping you in my prayers.
Linda Hoover <secureangel@aol.com>
Beach Park, IL usa - Friday, October 28, 2005 10:12 AM CDT

Lisa,

I so understand where you are. Ihat this time of year. My little boy died November 25th, 1984. Nueroblastoma stage 4. We were told that there was nothing more that could be done on October 30th. We took him home, made him comfortable and waited. He was 2 yrs old.

You have the right to be explosive. Dont ever appologize for that. Im sure that Cassie and Jerry feel the same way. Talk with Cassie and tell her that it is your heart that is angry and that you arent angry with her. She will understand. She is probably angry also.

Praying for you.

Carolyn H <carolynb7691@yahoo.com>
Spanish Fort, AL USA - Thursday, October 27, 2005 11:16 PM CDT

I will be thinking of you on Saturday. As much as people say to not let that day have power,it always will. It is the day your life changed forever. How do you put that date away? It is just a date, but it has significance. That's why there are birthdates, anniversaries, etc. My daughter was diagnosed prenataly with Down syndrome on July 17, 2001. That day has as much significance to me as the date of her birth. Maybe some day it won't, I don't know. But, that day my life changed. It seems like you have been so strong through this, you have grieved, but maybe you have held some of it in. Maybe this is the time to let it out. You are always there for Cassie, she will understand if you need some time alone. You deserve it. You need it. You don't have to explain it to anyone. You grieve the way you need to grieve. If people can't understand or support you, that is their problem. I hope I am not sounding negative. I just can't imagine your pain, sadness, anger, grief, all of it. It's with you every day. Yet, you have found a way to go on, to keep mothering Cassie, to keep working, to provide for your family, to be a good friend, a good daughter, etc. That is inspirational. I hope you keep sharing your journal with us, you may not know it, but you are helping others. Your honesty is refreshing. Take care. Thoughts with you and Cassie and Savannah always.
Lisa <dldarakingsbury@msn.com>
sandy, ut - Thursday, October 27, 2005 3:56 PM CDT

Grieving is a journey of unknown length and breadth.Take it as it comes and know so many are praying for you
tricia <triciabxny@yahoo.com>
- Wednesday, October 26, 2005 11:06 PM CDT

WOW, you know how to make one think! that is good! I cant agree more with your life questions and drama?? i often ask myself the same things?? do i draw drama in my life?? so i understand that. I think you handle the whole situation great! I think you put pressure on yourself constantly. WIll you or will you not explode??? you worry about it. just let it happen! the diagnosis date cant hurt you anymore. Its Gone its in the past! focus on new dates . I just think as awful as it is the diagnosis date cant hurt you anymore.. it took all it could. dont give it any more power. Spend your time with cassie dates. and savannah memories but the positive ones. I know after all she went through its hard to get those images out of your thoughts. But I wouldnt let the cancer define savannah. she was so much more than a child who died from cancer. she was a beautiful child and now angel. she was so full of love and life. Tell me to go to hell if you want! I just am looking in from the outside and think that i would refuse to let cancer steal anything else from me. the dates still happy times you can have with cassie. I understand mourning the loss of savannah and the date she passed away. just dont allow all these dates to control you. You are in control not the cancer. It cant do anymore to savannah she is with jesus! and she is well! we care about you all and I just want you to focus on other dates! sorry for the lecture I will shut up now! just want whats best for you!
Kim
In - Wednesday, October 26, 2005 10:49 PM CDT

I just wanted to stop by to let you know that I am thinking about you. I haven't been by in a while. I would also like to thank you for signing my Dad's guestbook. Your journal, and what you wrote have shown me that I can be as emotional as I need to be when I am journaling. I am learning that whatever gets typed is what I am keeping. True, untouched, raw feelings and emotions. Thank you for writing like you do. Keeping you and your in my thoughts and prayers.
caringbridge.org/visit/billyjohnson
April Larkin <alarkin@vzavenue.net>
Seaside, CA - Wednesday, October 26, 2005 6:33 PM CDT

Just thinking about you and caring about your heartaches and high points. Know that lots and lots of people respect you so much.
Jennifer Cook <jencook@conwaycorp.net>
Conway, AR usa - Tuesday, October 25, 2005 9:26 PM CDT

Lisa, you go girl! Now go and have some fun!
Tammy DeBlaay ("Friends of Allie") <tammydeblaay@hotmail.com>
Fort Worth, Tx - Monday, October 24, 2005 12:21 AM CDT

This is my second try at posting this! I hope it doesnt show up twice. I had stumbled onto your site some time ago and had been checking back to see if you have updated and how you were doing. I can't imagine how difficult it must be with her diagnosis anniversary right around the corner. When my daughter was 6 days old they diagnosed her with a rare genetic disorder and then proceeded to tell me she may never walk or talk. I distinctly remember feeling like I had been thrown into a "different" world. Everyone else was going on with their lives and my heart was broken for everything that we had lost and all the dreams I had made for my daughter were gone....all in a heartbeat. I can imagine loosing Savannah is much the same BUT on a very deeper more intense level. Your heart aches to hold her and watch her grow up, you will never "get over" it. I imagine that time just makes it worse as you deal with birthdays, holidays, diagnosis dates and of course the anniversary of her passing. I can only imagine the pain you feel every day of your life and how much you must miss her. I don't think anyone could truly know what it is like unless they too lost a child that had to suffer as Savannah did in her last days. You and your family are an inspiration to me. On days when I am really down I remind myself that I have a daughter that needs me and I am SO FORTUNATE to have her here on earth. I pray that your weekend at Sparks will be fun and bring some type of peace and comfort to your heart.
Love and Prayers
Trish
mom to Makily 18 months Emanuel Syndrome
http://www2.caringbridge.org/fl/makilyangel/
Trish <patyrish237@aol.com>
Ocala, FL USA - Friday, October 21, 2005 10:27 PM CDT

Well, you REALLY needed to let that out and I'm so glad you did. I think we were all getting pretty concerned about you. It's a wonder that you haven't burst wide open. You are carrying a heavy, heavy load and I imagine it's a good thing to unburden yourself when you can. I know that isn't an easy thing for you to do, but it is a good thing for you to do. I know the rest of the month will be especially painful for you. Hang Tough.
Terri <ricknterrigeorge@cox-internet.com>
- Friday, October 21, 2005 3:32 PM CDT

Hello,
I am one of those "nosey strangers" that you referred to in your journal this time.. I just wanted you to know that i think both of your daughters are very beautiful.. Seems like (to a stranger) that you ARE a perfect Mommy.. I saw the pictures of Savannah and Cassie in the bathtub and it looks like they are living in a dream world full of warm baths with rose petals. EVERY TIME i saw the picture of Cassie and the dolphin, i cried. I love reading what you write because you are honest about your pain and anger. I think that is very healthy. I think your ex is like many parents in this world who completely miss the point of being a child.. To him it may have JUST been a halloween costume but to Savannah that was the world.. you knew it.. that is what makes you so perfect.. you live your world through the eyes of your children and it shows. Their beauty is not just external but it is seeping out of their eyes (and souls) too. I will continue to check on you just to see your beautiful girl's faces but to read your insights too.. Good luck with your future, and i am so sorry about the pain you are living with. I will pray for your angel in heaven and your family on earth.
Staci C. (Katia's Ladybug Club Member) <Bambolina9@aol.com>
Hamilton Sq, NJ - Friday, October 21, 2005 2:06 PM CDT

Lisa- I've been lurking and not doing a very good job of signing. Trying to find that perfect picture to send you of my daughter. The one who's birthday is in honor of Savannah. I know they would of been great friends had that time came in Savannah's too short of life. Don't beat yourself up. Never having met you, I know you are a great woman, mother, friend and daughter. Keep your head up and smile. When Tiah sleeps in my bed with me, I remember Savannah. I watch Tiah sleep so soundly and can't imagine her not being beside me with her hands tangled in my hair and her feet trying to keep warm between my legs. She doesn't sleep with me that often anymore but when she does Savannah is on my mind as I drift off. My husband and I are going away for the weekend, I'm wanting to take the kids (not normal on my part), I want them to enjoy something they have never had the chance to see. I want them to have fun, and laugh, run wild!!! You have that right to be angry. You have the right to do what is best for you and for Cassie. Don't change that. You are an awesome woman!!!
Hohni <hohniw@hotmail.com>
Elmore, Mn - Friday, October 21, 2005 1:25 PM CDT

I have not signed in for a long time - but nothing has changed! You continue to be a strong and honest woman. Your love for your children and life in general is so overwhelming. I really do admire all that you stand for. Don't ever stop Lisa - be who you are and love it!
Mrs. Linda Hoover <secureangel@aol.com>
Beach Park, IL USA - Friday, October 21, 2005 1:04 PM CDT

Dear Lisa, I have been thinking about you so much during the time that you were not writing. I had a feeling that part of it was due to the anniversary of Savannah's diagnosis. I remember reading what you wrote about that day and it will stay with me forever. I can't even begin to understand the terror that you must have felt at the moment that you realized that everything had changed. I am so sorry. I check Savannah's site every day and miss you when you are not writing for one reason or another but I always know that this is your site and your way to express yourself and that if for whatever reason, you never write again, then it is because that is what is best for you. I hope that no-one comes to this site who doesn't truly love you. That if they come for any other reason, that they just quietly slip away and never come back because this is the place for those of us who really love you and Cassie and Savannah and Jerry too to show you just how much we care. This is your site. Yours. And I thank you every day for all that you have shared because it has helped to make me a better, more genuine person and I will always be grateful. Love, Celeste
Celeste <starrystarrynight25@yahoo.com>
Center Harbor, NH USA - Friday, October 21, 2005 12:53 AM CDT

Oh my, Lisa, our emotions do mirror each other. I was just outside with my husband and I was venting about some stuff. Stuff that I couldn't believe that I was saying myself. I was going to call you and then i decided to check your site and I was amazed at some of the stuff you wrote is very close to what I am feeling and was sharing with steve moments before. I can't write about it but I will tell you over the phone the next time we talk.
I too, like a weekend getaway, a mental escape, spur of the moment stuff. There is nothing wrong with it either, as long as its good for you. if it makes you happy, then its good, its right.

talk to you soon
Angel Rachel's Mommy
jeanne <crowman2766@aol.com>
king of prussia, pa usa - Thursday, October 20, 2005 8:10 PM CDT

I haven't signed in for a long time, I never know what to say. I know I should just say thinking of you or something, but it just doesn't seem adequate. These are your deepest thoughts that you let us all share. You write beautifully, you open up the "windows" into your soul. It's very painful to read I certainly can't imagine living it. Try not to let others drag you down. People can be so mean and so heartless. They could learn a thing from Savannah and Cassie and you. I'm glad Cassie's echo. was good, that is always a stressful time. I so wish there was some way to ease your pain. The thought of a mother without her child........so wrong, so sad, so tragic. You are awesome and I hope that ignorant people don't keep you from coming here. You are helping people. You have and are making a difference in people's lives. Savannah made a difference, Cassie is making a difference. You have so much to share. I hope that you get through this very rough time without too many scars. You are awesome. You are an amazing woman that gave birth to two amazing women. Take care.
Lisa K. <dldarakingsbury@msn.com>
Sandy, UT - Thursday, October 20, 2005 4:57 PM CDT

Dear Lisa,

I know these times are hard. If there is anything I can do to help, please e-mail me. I'm just another Mother to an Angel lurking at your website. Hugs to you.

Marsha
m/o Allison 1/18/90 - 9/11/04
Marsha Lardin <jlardin@lightbound.com>
Shelbyville, In - Thursday, October 20, 2005 3:26 PM CDT

Dear Lisa,
I hope you are okay. I'm thinking about you and Cassie.
Kym Little
Kym Little <kymlittle@comcast.net>
Mobile, AL - Thursday, October 20, 2005 2:52 PM CDT

Lisa..missing your updates.I hope you are just busy thinking of you and hoping to hear something soon someone who cares in Hemet.Sherry
Sherry <cowpies5@aol.com>
Hemet, ca - Thursday, October 20, 2005 1:02 PM CDT

Lisa, Bless your heart. Hang Tuff.
Terri George <ricknterrigeorge@cox-internet.com>
Russellville, AR - Thursday, October 20, 2005 9:31 AM CDT

Hi Lisa, I'm missing your updates, looks like theres alot of us missing your beautiful writting! Hope your back soon, and you and Cassie are doing ok! Hugs.
Tammy DeBlaay ("Friends of Allie") <tammydeblaay@hotmail.com>
Fort Worth, Tx - Thursday, October 20, 2005 8:58 AM CDT

Lisa, just wanted to let you know that you are really on my mind this morning. xoxoxoxoxxoPaulette
paulette <paulette@conwaycorp.net>
plumerville, ar - Thursday, October 20, 2005 8:39 AM CDT

We miss your updates! Please don't let idio-morons stifle your beautiful self-expression. Hope you and Cassie are both doing better this week. We think of you and pray for your continued peace and comfort daily!

Kathy & Rob Brady (Peyton's Granny & Rocky) www.caringbridge.org/tx/peytonwhite
Kathy and Rob Brady <kathybrady1@yahoo.com>
Granbury, TX usa - Wednesday, October 19, 2005 3:27 PM CDT

thinking of you.....
Carol Burgess <my2farmboys@peoplepc.com>
Conway, Nc USA - Wednesday, October 19, 2005 3:06 PM CDT

I was just thinking about you so came by to check. I have you in my prayers every day... .hows Cassie doing at school.
Sharon <sholweger5@yahoo.com>
- Wednesday, October 19, 2005 11:45 AM CDT

Lisa, My Sammi wrote a poem that she says was inspired by Savannah. Even tho we've never met, she was the first child that we followed that passed and she'll always be special to us. Here's the poem:

God saw that you were hurting
and couldn't bear it anymore.
He wanted only to banish
the pain behind your every door.

He saw that you were brave enough
and had love for all to feel.
He knew that death could never
banish the lessons you've appealed.

So he took away the pain
that you felt more and more.
He gave you a big bear hug
and said, "Heaven is all yours!"

Your family, who is just as strong
though they may feel grieved at first,
will realize the lssons you taught them
here on Earth.

Ellen and Sammi Robertson www.caringbridge.org/mi/sammijean <Scanmom@hotmail.com>
Wyandotte, mi - Wednesday, October 19, 2005 8:33 AM CDT

Thinking about you...hoping your days are a bit brighter. Just know that there are lots of people who admire and respect you and care about how you feel.
Jennifer Cook <jencook@conwaycorp.net>
Conway, ar usa - Monday, October 17, 2005 10:37 PM CDT

Lisa, I have been a lurker for so long and envy you so much for the awesome spirit and outgoing person you are. I wish I could just let myself hang and be myself like you can be. You are an awesome mother and an awesome woman don't let anyone put any doubts in your mind.
Sandra K. <cymomtx@yahoo.com>
Cypress, TX - Sunday, October 16, 2005 7:59 PM CDT

Hi Lisa
I just wanted you to know that i am thinking of you. I hope you are doing alright.

Angel Rachel's Mommy
jeanne <crowman2766@aol.com>
king of prussia, pa usa - Saturday, October 15, 2005 11:27 AM CDT

Lisa,

I think you should write your story and publish it. You have such an elequent yet gut wrenching way of telling your story. It makes one almost feel like they are experiencing it with you (although I know that is very impossible to even touch the emotions you must feel unless we've been through it). I think you could really do alot to bring out awareness and anger in others to do something to help fight this monster in our children. Even though I don't have a child with cancer I do feel in some way that all of these children belong to us and it should be all of our life missions to protect them. Think about it. You could really help with your families story. Praying for peace and for pleasant visits in your dreams from your precious baby.
Lisa Kersten <lisamk@srttel.com>
Minot, ND USA - Thursday, October 13, 2005 4:42 PM CDT

I wish you peace.
Laura
Seattle, WA - Thursday, October 13, 2005 0:10 AM CDT

Hi Lisa,

Just stopping by to let you and Cassie know I am thinking of you both.

Love,

Diana, Mother of Angel Katherine
Diana Cross, http://www.caringbridge.org/tx/katherinecross/ <diana@houston.rr.com>
Houston, TX - Wednesday, October 12, 2005 5:48 PM CDT

Just checking on you...knowing that you are having some tough days.
Jennifer Cook <jencook@conwaycorp.net>
Conway, ar USA - Wednesday, October 12, 2005 9:25 AM CDT

LOVE ALWAYS BRENDA My Loving Dad's Site <brurka@shaw.ca>
EDMONTON,ALBERTA CANADA, - Wednesday, October 12, 2005 1:23 AM CDT

thinking about you....
tricia <triciabxny@yahoo.com>
- Tuesday, October 11, 2005 6:34 PM CDT

Dear Lisa, Whatever you feel, however you feel it, wherever you are, my heart is with you. I don't believe for one second that you are shortchanging Cassie. All mothers have ups and downs. All mothers have times that their whole focus has to go more toward one child than another. But the mother of an angel? Of course. You are and always will be Savannah's mother too. Right now you are feeling that connection and it pulls you to her. You need it and maybe Savannah needs it too, even from heaven. Cassie will grow into a woman knowing that you loved them both. What better life lesson could she have. Shortchanged? Never. You are a wonderful mother. May Savannah wrap her wings around you and hold you so tight that you will feel her all the way to your core. Love, Celeste
Celeste <starrystarrynight25@yahoo.com>
Center Harbor, NH USA - Tuesday, October 11, 2005 9:50 AM CDT

Lisa,

This link was sent to be by a dear friend and as I watched it I thought of you and Cassie. I was going to email it to but decided to share this wonderful page with everyone. I hope y'all are doing better.

http://www.wisehearts.com/yaam.html

Lots of love from all of us here.
Kathryn
- Monday, October 10, 2005 5:54 PM CDT

I come .. I just don't always sign in. I know people may get tired of hearing about our kids, and Its hard to know what to say about the one we lost. I answer different by how much I want to explain but it don't mean Mike is any less a son. My daughter tells people she has 3 brothers one in IL and two in Ga she doesn't always explain that she lost one far to soon. Some days it just hits you I know, a song, a thought, a glimps of some one on a street brings back a memory. Then I have some one on tv that reminds me so of my Mike, David Spade is him all over again.. looks, actions, that mouth and what comes out of it.....so I get reminded a lot.... mostly happy memories by now, just missing him. IF you ever ever need some one to talk to about Savannah and/or Cassie I am here, and you know where.... Take care .. I hope this week has been a little better.......I have you all in my prayers
Sharon <sholweger5@yahoo.com>
- Monday, October 10, 2005 5:46 PM CDT

Hi. Lisa...have been away for a little while. I guess I have a sick humor also, because I loved the story of your "knight" getting the attention of the careless driver??? I also want you to know that I will never grow tired of reading your thoughts...you have such a way with words and are such an inspiration to so many others. I am always here to listen and my heart aches for you...I have two daughters and 2 grand daughters. I cannot feel what you do, but I do grieve with you, if only in a small measure of your grief....Thinking of you...Love, Paulette p.s. thank you for your sharing.....
paulette <paulette@conwaycorp.net>
plumerville, ar - Monday, October 10, 2005 3:41 PM CDT

Just stopping by to say hi.
Julie (Savannah's Mom)
www.caringbridge.org/ok/savannah
Julie Remington <Youthful64@aol.com>
Broken Arrow, OK USA - Monday, October 10, 2005 1:04 PM CDT

Hey Lisa, i hope you are feeling better today. Have a happy thanksgiving. I think it is tomorrow right?
Will be thinking of you :) It is okay to cry.
Laura
~X~
Laura <take_my_breath_away_@hotmail.com>
St. Albans, Herts UK - Saturday, October 8, 2005 2:08 PM CDT

I will be thinking of you all on Sat. while walking Matthew's Miles.
Angel Melody's Daddy
Rob Schleigh (www.ourmelody.net) <rob@ourmelody.net>
- Friday, October 7, 2005 9:31 PM CDT

Lisa
actually, I don't know what to write
since saying "I'm sorry" for your grief
is way too inadequate.
mrspam <preschoolpenpals@yahoo.com>
- Thursday, October 6, 2005 1:55 PM CDT

A butterfly story, remembered with awe because of the new poem on Savannah's website: Last week I heard a slight russling sound in my bedroom. I looked up as a good sized butterfly floated accross the room and landed on a shelf (a picture of Savannah sits on that same shelf). It stayed there very quitely. I took a glass jar and a piece of cardboard and slipped the butterfly into the jar. It fluttered wildly with fear. I went outside and set it free and watched it fly all the way to the top of the trees at the edge of my woods. "give them room to fly and they will soar through the air". Absolutely awesome. My bedroom is completely closed. The window was closed. The door was shut. Where did this gift of a butterfly come from? Who knows. It was wonderful and so is the poem. Thanks, as always for sharing. Love, Celeste
Celeste <starrystarrynight25@yahoo.com>
Center Harbor, NH USA - Thursday, October 6, 2005 8:23 AM CDT

Thank you for sharing that poem. You are never far from my thoughts. We drove to Little Rock on Tuesday. I thought of you as I always do when we pass through on our way. Yesterday a friend of mine took the girls on a little motorcycle ride through his neighborhood. They just went up and down the street, but the smiles on their faces were absolutely priceless. I kept thinking of Cassie as I was watching them. Thank you again for sharing your lives with us. I love you.
Jennifer
Kaelei's mom <mamajenn@sbcglobal.net>
Centerton, AR USA - Thursday, October 6, 2005 8:13 AM CDT

You know, when I encounter difficult people that I just don't want to like, I find myself thinking about Savannah. What if this person that I clash with suddenly discovered that their child had a terminal illness. Couldn't I put aside my differences with this person? Of course I could. I would want to help them and hold them, whatever to ease their sorrows. What you have endured is something that no mom should ever have to go through, yet thousands more even this month will join you in this awful place. It could be me, or it could be someone that I just don't care about. What is really important here is that we as people figure out a way to love those who are different than us. I don't know if that makes sense or not...

There is a song that I have discovered that has encouraged me a whole lot these past few months. It is called Held by Natalie Grant. She is a Christian singer, and she tells of the time when these lyrics were written. Her two best friends experienced devastating losses within 24 hours of each other. One lost her husband to some tragedy, and the other lost her child to cancer. I think the part that I like the most about this song is the part about the bitterness and how we want the hatred to numb our sorrows. Just that someone who is a Christian singer would admit to these types of feelings. Anyways, Here are the lyrics:

Two months is too little
they let him go
they had no sudden healing
to think that providence
would take a child from his mother
while she prays, is appalling

who told us we'd be rescued
what has changed and
why should we be saved from nightmares
we're asking why this happens to us
who have died to live, it's unfair

this is what it means to be held
how it feels, when the sacred is torn from your life
and you survive
this is what it is to be loved and to know
that the promise was that when everything fell
we'd be held

this hand is bitterness
we want to taste it and
let the hatred numb our sorrows
the wise hand opens slowly
to lilies of the valley and tomorrow

this is what it is to be held
how it feels, when the sacred is torn from your life
and you survive
this is what it is to be loved and to know
that the promise was that when everything fell
we'd be held

If hope is born of suffering
if this is only the beginning
can we not wait, for one hour
watching for our Savior

This is what it means to be held
how it feels, when the sacred is torn from your life
and you survive
this is what it is to be loved and to know
that the promise was that when everything fell
we'd be held.

This song makes me know it is human for me to feel the way I have felt about the menial disappointments I have known...which certainly pale in comparison to the loss you have with Savannah, but it also encourages me too...because there have been those times when I have known that God has held me. Others have held me. People I hardly knew have held me. People all over the world have held you. Whether it is 17 months and 4 days or 17 years and 4 days, your grief is real and understandable. I am just so sorry. I have thought about the helplessness. I couldn't deal with a Hurricane Katrina situation very well I am afraid...not able to give my children food or water as was the case in certain situations in New Orleans...but to not be able to take away pain. I just don't know how I would make it. The only way I suppose would be in knowing that God held me. Because someone much bigger than myself would have to take over. I know I couldn't hold myself. But then I see you. And I know there are days when you must surely think you are merely existing, but maybe there are other days when you know you will survive. That is my prayer for you...that you will know you are held and you will survive this...and that just the concept of surviving will at least seem remotely possible even on your hardest days. You remain in my thoughts and prayers.
Jennifer Cook <jencook@conwaycorp.net>
Conway, AR USA - Tuesday, October 4, 2005 9:14 PM CDT

Lisa,

It makes me happy that you enjoyed the poem but I am so saddened by your tears. Tonight I have a dance recital and when I dance I dance on the wings of my very own angel but tonight I shall dedicate what I do to you, Cassie and Savannah and on your angel's wings I shall soar. I pray your tears dry soon and happiness begins to reign supreme.

Hugzzzz -n- Luvzzzz
Saige
Saige
Park City, Ut USA - Tuesday, October 4, 2005 7:26 PM CDT

Lisa,I loved the poem.. as I love butterflies and all that nature has to offer us if we just take the time to enjoy.Our hearts are just as fragile as all beautiful things.Thank-you to Saige Stewart.Lisa I'am thinking of you and sending hugs from Hemet.Someone who cares in Hemet.Sherry
Sherry <cowpies5@aol.com>
Hemet, ca usa - Tuesday, October 4, 2005 12:58 AM CDT

Lisa, I am so sorry. My heart just aches for you. You do such a great job of living your life to the fullest and sharing yourself with so many but I never ever forget that at the very core of you is Savannah, looking deep into your eyes. That look between mother and child is a pure and powerful thing. Your eyes are the ones that she wanted to look into, the ones she needed to help her on her journey. You were her safest place. You honor her every day with the life that you live. Keep being exactly who you are. Love, Celeste
Celeste <starrystarrynight25@yahoo.com>
Center Harbor, NH USA - Tuesday, October 4, 2005 12:16 AM CDT

Lisa
I really hate what this tumor did to our girls. I too miss how things used to be. Its not fair, we can only stuff it down so much before we break down yet again. I too have noticed certain people get tired of hearing about it, and I don't talk about it that much to them. They didn't come out and say it...but they have changed the subject rather quickly. I've come to realize that I can only grieve about this with danielle and steve.
Those images are so brutal, so intensly painful. We can't run from those images...I've tried and it keeps coming back until I cry and cry. I guess its our minds trying to deal with it..a little shock goes away and this comes to surface.

Cry Lisa...remember, I am only a phone call away.

Angel Rachel's Mommy
Jeanne <crowman2766@aol.com>
king of prussia, pa usa - Tuesday, October 4, 2005 9:50 AM CDT

my thoughts and prayers are with you!! I can only imagine what you are going through -
jeni
rockford, il - Tuesday, October 4, 2005 8:12 AM CDT

((HUGS))
Jenn Hartley <ronjenn696@prodigy.net>
Bensalem, PA USA - Tuesday, October 4, 2005 7:50 AM CDT

Hi Lisa, you must be busy at work, hope to get an update on your busy life soon! hugs from Texas
Tammy DeBlaay (friends of Allie) <tammydeblaay@hotmail.com>
Fort Worth , TX - Saturday, October 1, 2005 11:21 AM CDT

Hi Lisa

I am so sorry that I have not signed your guestbook in so long, i think i was becoming depressed, but i am ok now.

I wanted you to know that I am thinking of you and I hope things are going ok for you.

Angel Rachel's Mommy
Jeanne <crowman2766@aol.com>
king of prussia, pa usa - Saturday, October 1, 2005 7:49 AM CDT

I hate that for Cassie. It is not fair for her to be the scapegoat. Thankfully, you are well aware of the activities there. Wouldn't it be nice if adults would act their age?

With you, I am thankful for less of a punch from Rita, although I know that there are thousands effected by this. Never thought I would be so glad for hurricane season to be done, but I can't wait.
Jennifer Cook <jencook@conwaycorp.net>
Conway, AR USA - Monday, September 26, 2005 11:13 AM CDT

Lisa,

I am so glad all is well with Cassie. That must have been very hard returning to the hospital where Savannah received treatment and her wings. Know that you had many people thinking of both you and Cassie and I am sure you had a little red-headed angel watching over you too.

Lynn King <lynnking04@yahoo.com>
San Jose, CA - Wednesday, September 21, 2005 6:20 PM CDT

yay glad its good results with cassie on her tests.. emotionaly i know your about like a zombie putting feelings back.its hard i feel like some times well like i dont feel. but it makes you not have to remember and that is very emotionly exsausting in itself.
and dont worry about telling the lady its your other daughter . thats just shows savannah is living on in spirt and memory.
i hope you have good day
lots of hugs and love tonya
tonya cinnamon <tonyacinnamon@knology.net>
knoxville, tn united states - Monday, September 19, 2005 7:48 AM CDT

Just checking in on you guys!! Hope all is going well! So happy you received good results on Cassie's tests!!! Happy for you that the drive and time in the hospital is behind you for now!!! Take care!
Shelley <FessFam5@aol.com>
Carlsbad , ca usa - Sunday, September 18, 2005 7:56 PM CDT

Lisa,

A truly wonderous Sunday, a loved one comes home, we have a birthday girl and now your wonderful post that all went well with Cassie's tests. From all of us we send to all of you all our love and the warmest of blessings.
Kathryn
Ut - Sunday, September 18, 2005 5:46 PM CDT

"A Child of God will never face a circumstance that exceeds his grace. When we have no resource of our own, His resources have not begun to be depleted. When we are weak-He is strong."
They say that God never gives us more than we can handle. I guess that is why I was never given a child born with a disability, ailment, etc. I doubt that I could handle it. However, I also don't believe that God "gives" anyone this damn disease! I do believe that he knows what we can handle and who can handle it best. No one can handle it alone- I believe that he puts people in our lives to help us along the way. I'm sorry that you have had well more than your fair share of ups and downs, but I truly believe that you are a stronger person for what you have endured. You are an amazing person who has continued to live and raise Cassie with no regrets. Don't ever put yourself down for saying Savannah WAS your daughter. She was (in earthly terms) but now she is even more- she's your ANGEL. She is proud of you too. Just when you feel that she isn't there, there will always be a reminder or a person who is put there to help you along, whether it be Lisa C, Jerry, Cassie or a cyberfriend. Keep Living, Lisa- for Cassie, for Savannah, for Jerry, but especially for YOU! God obviously has a lot in store for you! Grace and strength are hand-in-hand. Take care and keep your chin up! Glad to hear that Cassie's dr. appt. went well. cyber hugs to you both!
Kristin Simmons "Friends of Allie" <Kristinsimmons@mac.com>
Plano, TX USA - Sunday, September 18, 2005 1:39 PM CDT

I am ALWAYS amazed and comforted by your entries. Thank you for your honest sharing of your emotions.
Our daughters died due to different cancers, but I feel we are united because of our loss.
I feel privileged reading your site. Thank you.
Kathie Mayo www.caringbridge.org/mn/rachaelmayo
- Saturday, September 17, 2005 8:18 PM CDT

was checking for an update on cassie....hope all is well
tricia <triciabxny@yahoo.com>
- Saturday, September 17, 2005 11:15 AM CDT

How was Cassie's appointment? I have thought about you all these past couple of days. I hope your time at ACH was bearable. I can't imagine the dread of having to go there.
Jennifer Cook <jencook@conwaycorp.net>
Conway, AR USA - Saturday, September 17, 2005 8:27 AM CDT

Lisa, my heart aches for you today and I am crying again for you, for Savannah, for Cassie, for Jerry. For everything that you have had to face and have to face again today. You are so brave, so strong. I just wish you didn't have to be. I hope that you can feel the love and support from all of us because we really do love you. Celeste
Celeste <starrystarrynight25@yahoo.com>
Center Harbor, NH USA - Friday, September 16, 2005 2:24 PM CDT

Even during your weakest times you show such strength and courage. Your are a true inspiration to many of us. In my heart I know Cassie's check up will be perfect and all my prayers I send your way.
Kathryn
Ut - Friday, September 16, 2005 12:16 AM CDT

Lisa,

You're in my thoughts and prayers today.. I hope everything goes smoothly with Cassie's tests & with you being at the hospital.
Jenn Hartley <ronjenn696@prodigy.net>
Bensalem, PA USA - Friday, September 16, 2005 10:43 AM CDT

My thoughts and prayers are with you today!!! We all have fear and it does not make us weak, try and think only happy thoughts!!
Jeni
Rockford, IL - Friday, September 16, 2005 8:10 AM CDT

Lisa, My thoughts and prayers will be with you today and with Cassie. I hope you will feel all the good thoughts while you are at Childrens. Please let us know the results as soon as you can,Thank you.
tricia <triciabxny@yahoo.com>
- Friday, September 16, 2005 7:56 AM CDT

Lisa,

I'll keep praying extra hard today for you and Cassie. No one fights like you do lady! Just know there are many of us out here caring about you and lifting you up!
Rene Woods <rwoods@hpdps.org>
Dallas, TX - Friday, September 16, 2005 7:43 AM CDT

Dear Lisa:

Best of luck with Cassie today.

Annemarie,
www.caringbridge.com/ny/rossmanhattan
Anne Saputo <annesaputo@aol.com>
New York, NY - Friday, September 16, 2005 7:22 AM CDT

Just checking on you...I know your days feel empty even when they are good. There is always something missing. I think about you so often. I think about Savannah. I thank God that my children are healthy. I will not understand why some are given awful diseases. I will not understand why some adults neglect and abuse the greatest gift that God gives. You are an amazing mom.
Jennifer Cook <jencook@conwaycorp.net>
Conway, AR USA - Thursday, September 15, 2005 10:01 PM CDT

hey lisa - wanted to stop by and see how things were. i think of you often and wanted you to know that. you and savannah are never far from my mind. i have to believe that jared is running with all of the other children..somewhere.
riannon angel jays momma <riannonkids@yahoo.com www.caringbridge.org/ca/jaydog>
san leandro, ca - Thursday, September 15, 2005 9:58 PM CDT

OOPS- wrong "Never gonna let you go"- It's by Andrew W.K.
Also a good song- but NOT Rick Astley's song. :)
kristin <kristinsimmons@mac.com>
Plano, TX USA - Wednesday, September 14, 2005 9:20 PM CDT

The lyrics are to a Top 40 Hit from 1987. Rick Astley of the UK sang it. It's a great song!

Hang in there! Glad to hear that you are moving on and not letting one or two rude people tarnish your spirit. Too many others truly care.
kristin <kristinsimmons@mac.com>
plano, tx usA - Wednesday, September 14, 2005 9:16 PM CDT

Don't give another thought to the rude comments and entries others have posted!!!! Don't waste your time and your breath anymore - they don't matter!
Your doing a wonderful job raising your beautiful daughter and that is all that matters.
Remember, for every thoughtless and rude entry there are hundreds of meaningful and wishing-the-very-best for you and your family out there.
Chin up and enjoy life to the fullest. Enjoy every minute we have here together - and then when we are plucked from this world, we will all be together FINALLY FOREVER!!!
God Bless and thanks for continueing to journal :)

Janis Goehner <JanisGoehner@Hotmail.com>
Lakeville, MN USA - Tuesday, September 13, 2005 10:07 PM CDT

Lisa, Just want you to know I think of you often. I am praying God sends you even more grace and wisdom than you already have. I know you are having a tough time right now and I figure you can use the extra dose. Take care of yourself girl.
Bobbi Breshears
Dardanelle, AR - Tuesday, September 13, 2005 5:03 PM CDT

Thinking of you. I hope that ignorant comments won't discourage you from writing here. I've never met you and probably never will, but I've been following your story for going on 2 years now and it's obvious to me that you are a very devoted mother...to both Cassie and Savannah. Also, if Cassie ever wants to leave Arkansas, please send her to my house in Mississippi. I would love to have a live-in chef! :0) Take care.
Brandie <bducrest@jam.rr.com>
Ridgeland, MS - Sunday, September 11, 2005 9:03 PM CDT

Stopping in to check on you, Cassie and Jerry and it seems that I missed someone making a perfect example of another part of the human body.......
Keep sharing and being yourself, your honesty and strength to continue on is what keeps me coming back to see how you all are doing.
Kris Rech
WYATT'S ADVENTURES

<kmrech@hotmail.com>
New Prague, Mn USA - Sunday, September 11, 2005 10:14 AM CDT

I always stop by to see how you and your family are doing. Keep updating and posting pictures!
Our prayers are with you!

Janis Goehner <JanisGoehner@Hotmail.com>
Lakeville, MN USA - Saturday, September 10, 2005 8:01 PM CDT

Thank you Lynn King. You said it perfectly!! Lisa, I have been visiting your site for over a year. You are so honest and real. You are not a good mother - you are a GREAT mother.
Kym Little <kymlittle@comcast.net>
Mobile, AL - Thursday, September 8, 2005 8:31 PM CDT

Lisa,

I contemplated for sometime whether to send this just to you or to share. I decide to share for all to read to see what the real you does for others.

For years as one enters my humble abode there has been a portrait of myself with my seven angels. It is not there as a shrine or a memorial but rather a reminder to all that enter how precious and fragile this thing we call life truly is. I have always felt it has been missing something. Your gift that arrived the other day was that missing piece. As I told you yesterday from an angel with angels we received our angel.

Many accolades have been sent to you via these postings and there is little I can add that has not already been said. So all I can say is thank you for being so real, so open, so honest. Thank you for the insight that has helped me understand. Big brown eyes now have a new meaning. Like an artist you have added colors to my portrait of life and now you have added that missing piece to our home.
Mark
PC, UT - Thursday, September 8, 2005 7:49 AM CDT

Lisa,
I visit your site often and have posted a couple times. I have read your entire journal and find you to be an amazingly open person. I have never walked in your shoes and hope I never have to. You have faced a great tragedy and done so with grace and through all that you have shown so many of us thing that make us better people. I know many people who post and visit are other mothers who unfortunately share the same path in life with you (a child with cancer) and the rest of us are along for the ride to pray and offer support and learn from you wonderful brave souls who endure what life has dealt you. I know that you know this but there will always be petty small people in this world who for whatever reason feel it is their place to pass judgement on others. I know you are a strong women but even strong women have weak moments and in those moments, don't let one word posted by the fools of the world who have posted here (I missed what was posted) make you doubt yourself. Don't change yourself for other people. You know in your heart that you did nothing wrong and that you are a good mother to Cassie and that is all that matters. End of story....

By the way, I liked the picture of Jerry.

Lynn King <lynnking04@yahoo.com>
San Jose, CA - Wednesday, September 7, 2005 9:08 PM CDT

I know your angel is smiling down on you tonight!
tricia <triciabxny@yahoo.com>
- Tuesday, September 6, 2005 10:31 PM CDT

You're an awesome individual! Having never met you or anyone else in your household - I can just tell from all your entries that you are a down to earth individual. You keep doing what you're doing Lisa and the heck with everyone else! God put you on this earth to please yourself! Do it!

Forever keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.
Mrs. Linda Hoover <secureangel@aol.com>
Beach Park, IL USA - Tuesday, September 6, 2005 9:38 AM CDT

hey lisa here ya go
to help with the ip :)
http://arul.telenet-systems.com/track.html
i hope today jerry and cassi and you have fun! and enjoy the fireworks!
hugs tonya
tonya cinnamon <tonyacinnamon@knology.net>
knoxville, tn usa - Monday, September 5, 2005 9:47 AM CDT

Hi Lisa
Just dropping by... you are wonderful and although so many have not met you in person, they have in spirit via this site and we love you, Cassie and Jerry. Dont change yourself, your values and what you think is right to please narrow minded, selfish, judgemental people. The fact this person is hiding themselves from you, just proves they are wrong in what they say and so very very weak. They cannot stand up and be counted. Absolute cowards.
Yes, you can track a person by the IP address. Go for it!
Shelly
Sydney, Australia - Sunday, September 4, 2005 11:08 PM CDT

Just checking on you. I hear that the Kiwanas are doing a lot for the relief effort in the gulf area. So many groups are working hard. We have a group of survivors coming to our Baptist church camp this evening. Bryan has been out there all day working to get ready. I was able to help last night with bedding and such. It is nice to be able to do something to help. I think we are going to have nearly 400. It is good to be able to help those who have such great needs.
Jennifer Cook <jencook@conwaycorp.net>
Conway, AR usa - Sunday, September 4, 2005 4:47 PM CDT

Was thinking of you and this song came across my MP3 list.

Never wanna break your heart
Never wanna make you cry
Never wanna give up and die

Even if you can't stand up
Even if you lose your life
I'm a friend by your side
You're never gonna be alone

You can never let down
Never let down
You can never let down
Never let down

Never wanna make mistakes
Never wanna do no wrong
Never have a place to belong

And I'm never gonna leave you out
If you ever lose your way
Not alone or betrayed
I'm always gonna be around

You can never let down
Never let down

You're doing alright
You're doing ok
Just follow your heart
And don't run away

You can never let down

You're doing alright
You're doing ok
Just follow your heart
And don't run away

You can never let down

You're doing alright
You're doing ok
Just follow your heart
And don't run away

A friend
- Sunday, September 4, 2005 1:07 AM CDT

Wow! I've missed the drama. I can't understand someone criticizing you on this site. Those of us who come here know (or should know) that you're the driver of this site and we're just passengers coming along for the ride. We don't have to come. Don't like the site? Solution: don't come to the site. Simple.

I think anyone with any sense would agree.

Hope you're doing ok!

Maryellen
Jacksonville, fl usa - Saturday, September 3, 2005 6:47 PM CDT

Lisa,
Please check "Angel" Emma Grace's page. (ar/emmagrace) It shows that September is Childhood Cancer Awareness month in Arkansas.
Julie
www.caringbridge.org/ok/savannah
Julie Remington <Youthful64@aol.com>
Broken Arrow, OK USA - Friday, September 2, 2005 3:04 PM CDT

Caring is sharing.. that is what we do here.We all share a bit of ourselves.Caringbridge is about helping people and being there and hoping we add a little love to those who need it most.Please.. enough of this person you are giving in to their desire for attention,too disrupt, and cause chaos.This site should only be about Lisa . we all know everyone who comes here respects her as a mother and a human being.So please if you have nothing positive to say here you are not wanted.This is a place for Lisa to feel safe, secure,and most of all loved ..so she knows a place of comfort to release everything she feels.This is what Caringbridge is about.Read between the lines.I hope you get it.Someone who cares in hemet.SherryP.S.Most important Lisa,sending hugs your way and hoping you find some peace.
Sherry <cowpies5@aol.com>
Hemet, ca usa - Friday, September 2, 2005 2:16 PM CDT

Hey Lisa,
I visit frequently, but haven't left a message in ages. Ya know what they say "God works in mysterious ways". Perhaps this critical person was sent so that YOU could be shown how many are really out there rooting for you. :)
I tend to remember that when I point a finger, three are pointing at me. That's a lesson everyone should learn. Take good care . . . .
Machele <MacheleAkers@aol.com>
Tornado, WV 25202 - Friday, September 2, 2005 9:58 AM CDT

Lisa,

I've visited Savannah's site and have signed a few times... You have taught me to let things roll off my back. You are an awesome MOM!!!

Don't let anyone say anything different?

Is your child happy - YES!
Is she well-adjusted - YES!

Our lives are about our kids and what we can do to make thier life better..and vice versa.

Keep your head up and don't let anyone tell you any different!! But I'm guessing you already know that. :o)

Take Care!
Jenn Hartley <ronjenn696@prodigy.net>
Bensalem, PA USA - Friday, September 2, 2005 7:16 AM CDT

Dear Lisa,

It has been a while since I have visited Savannah's site. It appears a lot has gone on in a couple of weeks. First, I want to begin by saying I love the picture of Jerry. The rally looks like fun to me...except for the fact I am terrified to ride on a motorcycle.

Anyway, I am glad that you can laugh at "SAD". She is indeed sad. She appears to be a sad excuse for a human being. How dare she judge you. She knows nothing about what you and your family have endured the past few years. She can not imagine how a child's illness and passing will forever change you. Apparently, this person is not capable of empathy. For those of us who have lost our babies, we endure pain and heart ache more than most people can imagine. I think many of us come to the conclusion that what we thought of as important previously probably isn't that important anymore. I think we find what is really important such as our faith, family, love, friendship and compassion. All of the rest of it is really just BS.

Sad needs to lighten up. The pictures showed people having a good time together. Aren't we supposed to have fun? So what if you see breasts. I suspect he / she sees them each day. I suspect sad is one of those people who freaks out when he / she sees a woman breast feeding in public as well. It is the human body. Get over it.

As for this site being about you, of course it is! It is about your journey through Savannah's illness and passing. It is a place you can express your feelings. If Sad doesn't like it, Sad should stop visiting.

Anyway, as always, you, Cassie and Jerry are always in my thoughts and prayers.

Love,

Diana, Mother of Angel Katherine
Diana Cross, http://www.caringbridge.org/tx/katherinecross/ <diana@houston.rr.com>
Houston, TX - Thursday, September 1, 2005 7:50 PM CDT

Lisa,

Some people never learn to "roll with it." If they did, the world would be a more loving place. You should be proud that you came out of such a painful, life changing experience, with a softer, more accepting heart. Bitterness would do nothing but ruin you. I bet Savannah is smiling!
Christi <hamilton.fam@cox.net>
- Thursday, September 1, 2005 6:33 PM CDT

Woah. I havent check on here for nearly a week i think and i missed th whole fiasco. It is sad. So very sad. I checked out your photos, the one of Jerry and the ones of you guys from the year before. (I am 18!) And of course the one with your beautiful tatoo. Its been a while since i have seen a pic of your tatoo.
I am not one to judge, especially as i am yet to have children of my own. But i can tell that you are one of the best when it comes to parents. The way you write, it is so honest and open. You cannot be a good parent if you are not in tune with your emotions and if you put up a facade.
Cassie is also clear a very mature and beautiful child, both inside and out. You have taught her well, and you will continue to do so. Not without struggles and a long hard emotional battle of your own. But you will get there. Cassie will grow into a lovely young women and she will tahank you for being honest with her. For being yourself. For being open-minded.
And Savannah was ever so lucky to have you there for her during those dark days. Just as you were lucky to have her, to give you strength. I dont know how that woman can say that you dont learn from your children. I have learnt so much from the children i have volunteered with or babysat, and they are not even my own.
One girl Hannah, reminds me of Savannah. Bright read hair, full of smiles. She lives in my local town and she fought for her life in many operations when she was younger. These operations were supposed to leave her as a vegetable. I hate to use that word, but that is how it was put. She is six now, and her torso is weak, so she cant stand unaided. But she is full off life, and has her own special walker. She is learning to speak a few words. And communicates through smiling and gestures. She is very bright and seriously you cannot help being happy when you are around her. She is 6 now. This is her website www.hannahbanana.org.uk
Anyway, slightly off the point there. I believe children are put on this world to teach us as much as we are them. I cannot put it into words how much of a fantastic mother you are. You have demonstrated this time and time again. I wish there was something i could do to help you are your family, because you deserve it so much.

I cant believe how quickly time has flown, i have been visiting your site for nearly 2 years!

Just thought i would share with you the fact that i am starting medical school later this month. So when i am a doctor i will be able to really help and give back and volunteer too. This is really important to me.

Take care all of you.

Laura
~X~
laura <take_my_breath_away_@hotmail.com>
St. Albans, Herts UK - Thursday, September 1, 2005 4:24 PM CDT

Lisa, you are living your life according to your beliefs and are sharing your journey with childhood cancer with us all(a child dying doesn't end the journey). No one has to agree with your methods or reasons;that's not what this website is about. How dare someone judge you openly and what's even worse is the continued quibbling among posters. They are just feeding fuel to the fire and are also losing the point of this site. I continue to keep you and Cassie in my thoughts and pray each day for you
andrea <drewsmommie2@yahoo.com>
- Thursday, September 1, 2005 2:52 PM CDT

Okay, okay. You all have converted me! Lisa is a wonderful mother and you won't hear from me again!
Same as before
- Thursday, September 1, 2005 2:28 PM CDT

Lisa,

I'm sorry that people continue to think its okay to criticize you and the way that you live your life. I admire you and Cassie and Jerry. You are obviously a loving family. Cassie will grow up to be a strong, sensitive, caring woman thanks to your excellent example. I think of Savannah often and will continue to keep your family in my prayers.

Teri - you are obviously not Katia's mother because she would never presume to compare herself to another mother and how she raises her children. Tracy is a loving mother who should be admired AND so is Lisa. I really don't think Tracy would appreciate you using her name in this manner.
Mary <miniteasets@mail2world.com>
Worth, IL USA - Thursday, September 1, 2005 1:57 PM CDT

We all our a different breed ????? I dub first pick so when I grow up I want to be a Saint Bernard. Of course my wife will tell you I am a cross between anything ornery and snarley. Friends and neighbors I am sure would say something left at the pound they refused to harbor.

Let's see, go to Katia site, to see an example of a truly devoted, caring mother ... Well I'd love to visit the site but can't find it (we breeds need explicit instructions or a biscuit). I have no doubt Katia's site is done by a truly loving parent. Sites like these are built on love, devotion, caring and grief. But I need not venture there to find an example of a devoted and caring mom for that example is right here.

Oh and you're not her that's good because I'm not him. I'm so confused. Calling Columbo to help solve the mystery...

Lisa ... keep smiling, keep laughing and best of all ... keep being the genuine loving person that you are. Cassie, dawn the chef hat and run throughout the house doing the "BAM" thing or whatever they are teaching you on that food network. Got to keep mom on her toes ;-). Lisa how dare you let her watch channels that are educational, what kind of mom are you ;-) ???

Warm Wishes to all....

Footnote: For those of you that are non-breeds ... this was written satirically.
Woof Woof <just_a_mutt@dogpound.com>
- Thursday, September 1, 2005 1:23 PM CDT

You all are a different breed, that's for sure! If you want to see an example of a truly devoted, caring mother check out Katia's caringbridge site. SHE is someone I truly admire. And, no, I am not her!!!!
Teri
- Thursday, September 1, 2005 11:10 AM CDT

Yesterday I was in my favorite store: Home Goods. Cool stuff at great prices. I was asked at checkout if I would donate $1.00 for the Jimmy fund. I get this from Savannah and the story of how she always wanted to put money in the Salvation Army kettle. Now, I do too, every time. They handed me a card and a black marker. I filled in the name: SAVANNAH in big block letters. They display all of the cards in the store. Thank you, Savannah for your great example. Love, Celeste
Celeste <starrystarrynight25@yahoo.com>
Center Harbor, NH USA - Thursday, September 1, 2005 7:46 AM CDT

What shocks and disturbs me is the number of these Caringbridge sites. I saw the pictures-did not see the comments. The event is not something I have ever been to or probably ever will. With all that you have gone through, are going through, and will go through the rest of your life, I think it is awesome that you find moments of joy, happiness and peace in your life. Jerry in braids gives you goosebumps? Even better. Reading about another child taking his or her last breath-that is what is appalling. No parent should have to go through that. Tattoos and breasts are not a big deal. Thank God we are all different. It would be way too boring if we were all alike. You are an awesome mom. I think your children are blessed to have you for their mommy.
SusanLeBas <susanlebas@austin.rr.com>
Austin, TX USA - Thursday, September 1, 2005 6:57 AM CDT

lisa to tell the truth in all those pics
i seen there are awesome artists at work ;-)
girl you keep laughfing
and you keep going!
i try to come here everyday
to read your entries
you are what makes
cassie and jerry keep going
you are savanna in many ways!
hugs tonya
tonya cinnamon <tonyacinnamon@knology.net>
knoxville, tn united states - Thursday, September 1, 2005 6:37 AM CDT

Hi Lisa
Geez i haven't posted in a longggggggggg time, i check every week and have been keeping up with all of you seems forever, Like you i too have a Savannah and maybe that is what drew me to you, and keeps me coming back, i prayed with you was so happy for you when Jerry came into all of your lifes, I even had to show everyone yoyr tatoo's which by the way are beautiful. But enough of that i am here BECAUSE
WHO IN THE H is the scaried cat who saids their not coming back but here they are again! Get A life!!!! Don't like what Lisa saids then leave as she doesn'r give a hoot if you like her or not!! She has been through Hell and Back!!
And she is finally haveing some good days and you have the gull to put her down!!
Lisa i loved the pictures and beleive this I used to be a motorcycle mama my-self, And God i miss through days and if i wasn't dis-abled now i would still be one! We are good people just like everyone else, if you would pass me on the street you would never guess the secrets i have or maybe still do:) But enough about me
GOD BLESS YOU LISA! and don't let this little person get to you.And give Cassie a hug from me as she sure is a big girl who loves her mama:)
Hugs Marty
Marty <AngelsTears73069@aol.com>
Louisville, Ky USA - Wednesday, August 31, 2005 10:34 PM CDT

Praying for comfort for you and your family. We think you are doing an awesome job keeping it together after losing your beautiful wonderful precious daughter Savannah. I just LOVE that picture of her on the front page! What an absolutely BEAUTIFUL smile/laugh!!! When I look at your pictures they just make me break down. I can't imagine what you went through, and continue going through.
Sending LOTS and LOTS and LOTS of prayers your way!!!!
God Bless Savannah and her awesome family!!! :)

Janis Goehner <JanisGoehner@Hotmail.com>
Lakeville, MN USA - Wednesday, August 31, 2005 10:18 PM CDT

Hey Doll!

As my friend (you) has shown me many times through all kinds of good and bad... look at it, learn what needs to be learned from it then move forward. The only one you have to please is God and you know where you stand there. We all love you for who you are. Cassie and Jerry, too.
Elaine, Mike and Jessica <ergarrison@hotmail.com>
Clarksville, AR USA - Wednesday, August 31, 2005 8:07 PM CDT

These people are called "Trolls"- they live "under the bridge" so they don't have to show their faces (remain nameless) as they throw fuel on the fire to cause a stir! Lisa, I wouldn't give them a response, as it obviously is someone who hasn't got the "balls" to put their name on your guestbook! Unfortunately, when the www is also a place that "trolls" can hang out and try to tear others down when you share your innermost thoughts and feelings. Just know that a TRUE Christian wouldn't be judging someone else-nor making such an issue when they were warned that they should be 21 to enter the site-so as not to offend the prudish! Yes, we should all feel sorry for SAD, as they really are just that-SAD!!!!
Kristin <Kristinsimmons@mac.com>
Plano, TX USA - Wednesday, August 31, 2005 7:11 PM CDT

Greetings Lisa,

I guess I lucked out as I only read your entries then went merrily looking for Jerry's picture. I even search the 2004 pictures hoping to find the two of you. I was worried I wouldn't be able to find the pictures of you with all the others there. But I found you without effort. The tattoos, hair, smile. The picture of the two of you was wonderful.

I took time to search the site, look at the beautiful artwork, and not once during that time did I think anything other than "thank you, Lisa, for sharing another part of yourself." Another glimpse into you and your loved ones.

Yes, I am glad that I did not read the post by a person who doesn't realize that if you cannot open your mind you should not open your mouth. It is people like that who cause me to sensor my own daughter's site. To post only what is 'acceptable' so that I do not risk her reading something bad about the people she loves.

We have to forgive ignorance but we don't have to like it.

Blessings to you, Cassie, Jerry, and the Angel who watches over you.

with love,

Shari and Nicole
Shari McElroy <ShariMcElroy@aol.com>
Belen, NM USA - Wednesday, August 31, 2005 3:13 PM CDT

The other day I posted while still fuming, a mistake on my part. In a way SAD I was being judgmental of you and I was in error. After seeing your continuing posts I am beginning to feel compassion for you. Compassion because I am unsure to what is causing you to be so full of rage and anger. To say you are leaving only to return to cast more stones. Maybe you are starved and looking for attention. Maybe you have lost and you are striking out in anger. We all handle grief in different ways. I wish something like this had been around years ago so I could have vented. It would have saved many a sleepless nights, so much wasted time and senseless loss of life. I can not comprehend what would drive someone to try to hurt another human being who has been aching for so long already. In my heart I hope you are not one that finds enjoyment by kicking those already in sorrow. If that be the case then again I feel sorrow for you. That would make one�s life a living (warning adult word) hell.

What drives someone to go to a site that has multiple warnings about entering but yet they still open the door and then find themselves being appalled by the contents? Your early posting should never have been a shame on Lisa but rather a shame on you (I know judgmental).

If it is sinful for Lisa to go on with her life, to try to rebuild from the ashes of death, to have fun, to be a mother most children would beg for, to be in love with someone who truly loves her and her child for who they are not for what they can give him, to live life the way it should be lived, then Lisa, sin from sunrise to sunset.

Yes SAD for you I do feel a bit of sorrow and anguish. Your life must be so empty so void of true spirit. As for Lisa I am very honored to have been allowed to get to know her. My introduction to her has been a true blessing. Her story, her true compassion, her honesty has helped me see things in a new light. I am so proud of her in the manner in which she has handled this blip on these pages. I only wish I had half her strength.

So SAD I honestly hope that one day your anger subsides. As the posting below suggests try surfing to sites like "Make A Child Smile" (warning going there can be harmful to your heart). See if you can go there without feeling the pain of others that are going through so much hell. Try to become constructive instead of destructive. Look all around and try extending a hand to those suffering instead of serving a backhand. Alone we cannot change the world but we can change the world of one. Lisa has definitely changed mine. Life is too short to spend time find faults with others. To critic their actions because we disagree with them is, if I have studied and read properly, not the Christian way. I hope one day you are able to read things here and elsewhere and begin to understand what is really going on and not just see what you want to see. Sometimes only the blind have true sight.

To Lisa nothing but life�s OREO cookies. To SAD I hope that one day happiness finds its way into your heart and replaces the anger that seems to have taken residency there. I end by posting something below from someone very young but in ways mature beyond her years and someone I love dearly.

True Colors

How does when define colors
To someone void of sight?
The vivid hues of a rainbow
Lost to those with no light.

Is it red that defines anger
in their heart that is planted.
For being robbed of a sense
most others take for granted.

Does yellow explain caution,
for each step that they take.
For one careless move
can be a fatal mistake.

Green can represent envy
of those with the light.
A mere opening of the eyes
frees us from the night.

Only black is the color
they know oh so well.
Felt by so many
as a pure living hell.

Light can be deceiving
the colors a ploy.
A clever disguise
a rue, a decoy.

Maybe they are the blessed,
those robbed of the light.
Living in constant darkness
gives them the true sight.

They see the true colors
what�s behind a rainbow�s light .
Understanding the true contents
not judging by first sight

Proud of Lisa <mstewart8852@msn.com>
In the mountains, UT - Wednesday, August 31, 2005 8:44 AM CDT

why come here and make trouble for a mama that is trying as hard as she can to go on. Too many of us have lost a child, and we know the pain Lisa is in, and will be forever. Lisa, its none of my business I know, but I feel you are doing a great job!!! Don't let the naysayers get to ya... to many of the rest of us do care and do pray for you daily. As for SAD my mama always said "if ya can't say something nice, say nothing at all"
Sharon <sholweger5@yahoo.com>
- Wednesday, August 31, 2005 6:44 AM CDT

I like others who have just signed for the first time have been reading your journal and following your story for a long time. I have not posted but have prayed for your strength and peace and learned so very much about those very things from you. I feel compelled to post and point out that this "person" (and I use that term loosely) is only here to cause trouble and I would even go as far as to say doesn't even believe what they are saying. One because they keep stating they are never going to follow the site again but amazingly enough keep showing back up. Two because if they have so much against these picture why did they go to the site after warnings then go back again after they knew what was there. So either they are ONLY trying to get attention or are so dissapointed in themselves they are directing their anger towards you. So just make sure you remember that for every negative comment that there are MANY that are out here that you don't even know about whose lives you have touched with your honesty and strength.
Glad.......to have learned a thing or two from Lisa <glad@aol.com>
- Tuesday, August 30, 2005 9:41 PM CDT

What's even sadder are those who presume to judge without having the wit to do so. I know comprehension might not be your strong point; but if you go back and reread the entry even you might be able to discern the angel she is referring to in this case is not Savannah, but Jerry. You know ... "that man" ... that man who helped her bear the unbearable ... who grieves with her for the loss of a child and gives her strength during the darkest of times. And, I'm guessing, who wrote the love poem to her that you feel obliged to criticize. She is thanking HIM for being her angel when she needed one. But tell me Sad, what is it that you have done that is so good -- that allows you to judge? Do you truly think your entries here are constructive and helpful? Have you helped somebody who was grieving -- whose world was ending? Do you volunteer hundreds of hours for a charitable organization? (You don't have to even be the president like Lisa.) Have you sent children you never met angel packages? Have you ever been somebody's angel? Perhaps instead of making yourself the authority on decency -- you should concentrate on being a more decent, loving person. Your attacks here are helping nobody, including yourself. If you want to make a difference, you can ... you can stop coming to sites like this that offend you and spend that time trying to "Make A Child Smile." The Gulf Coast is desperately in need of volunteers. Or if you can't travel, I am sure there are many worth while organizations and activities you could participate in your local community. Attacking Lisa here is not one of them. Tell me Sad ... WWJD?

Also sad
Colorado Springs, CO - Tuesday, August 30, 2005 9:17 PM CDT

How profound!! How presumptuous to think your daughter's sole purpose was to train you! It's all about YOU isn't it? How sad . . . . .
Sad <obe@aol.com>
- Tuesday, August 30, 2005 7:41 PM CDT

Ok I have never posted but have followed for some time now and missed the "excitement". Many people that see "Bikers" on rides and at events have never taken the time to see past the leather, long hair and other stereotypes to see the real people that are behind all that. The amount of money that "those people" raise for childrens charities and charities in general is staggering. Granted the events can get a little wild (been to Laughilin a few times :-)), so can Frat parties but few people get bent out of shape about those and yes the pictures can get a little racy, that would be why there was a definate warning in your post. That person(s) needs to get over it, you said it was racy and they looked any way, so what does that say about them! They looked, the Holy Roller Guilt took over and they had to blame you. I think your a great parent, Cassie will grow up to be a strong, caring woman because she has a wonderful example to follow. Hang in there
Jennifer <sisterbart@adelphia.net>
Placentia, CA USA - Tuesday, August 30, 2005 11:41 AM CDT

I have been following your site for a little while now, and I am not sure if I have posted or not. Last night I came by and saw the horrible messages left. Shame on that person for saying things like that. I am glad that it makes you laugh and hope that you don't let it get you down. I loved the braids...look like they did take quite some time. Take care and keep the pictures coming.
caringbridge.org/visit/billyjohnson
April Larkin <alarkin@vzavenue.net>
Seaside, CA - Monday, August 29, 2005 3:31 PM CDT

Well, I guess I missed all of the excitement. I do have to say that I think Jerry is the coolest. He has a look about him that spells calmness to me. No wonder your girls love him so much. I liked the picture of him.

Jennifer Cook <jencook@conwaycorp.net>
Conway, AR usa - Monday, August 29, 2005 2:53 PM CDT

I really did miss all of the excitement. But Ann and Mark definately hit the nail on the head. I can't check the picture out here at work but I am going to find a way outside of work to check it out. I really want to see Jerry's picture. You don't need to figure out how to be a better parent. OMG!!!!! We can all learn from you on a daily basis. Just ignore those self ritious people and keep on doing what you do best. Loving your girls. I know it still stings but thats what we are here for. Keep being Lisa and Cassie will have the best influence there is. :)
Carol Burgess <carol_burgess@kerrgroup.com>
Conway, Nc USA - Monday, August 29, 2005 12:41 AM CDT

I have been following your story for a long time...I have cried and laughed right along with you. I always hope that there are new pictures to go along with your posts. I think I am wacked because I do not even know you and yet I come to hope and pray for you and your family. The thing that makes me wacked is that I have enough in my own life and then I pile yours with mine...lol. I have also lost a child. So I know exactly what you are going through...the one thing that I admire so much about you is that you still embrace life and you are going to live it. I crawled into a hole and almost didnt come out of it. It has taken a lot of time for me to realize that God gave us life...we can chose how to live it...this is life and we have to stand on that rock of faith. I have seen you stand on that rock. I embrace life more than ever now. Ok now Lisa I am mad at you because of your last post, you said quote: "i want specifics. because maybe i can change something to become a better parent"
do not even let that be a thought in your mind...I am not even going to address that person that made you think that way. Cassie is going to grow up being a loving, caring, nonjudgemental person. Her heart is going to be open to live life to the fullest. I also have another daughter and she is my very best friend and we share all...absolutely everything....people tell me they have never seen anything like it...they say we are very lucky...my daughter that died gave me and her sister a gift...it made me open my eyes to life with my daughter here on this earth. Do I still cry...yes...do I think what could of been...yes...do I still miss her...yes...am I sad...yes...am I happy...yes...am I lucky to have had her in my life...yes...having her for two years is better than never having her at all. I guess I see myself at times when I read your journal. My daughter has a tatoo "baby sister" on her hip...that is what she was called by her sister before she died. She only got that a few years ago. I was open and honest just like you are with Cassie...my daughter now is a college graduate...working as a financial analyst...living on her own making great money....the most important thing...she loves God...she has faith even when she saw me at my lowest...she knows what faith hope love is all about. I thank my daughter that is in heaven. She is the reason for the good things in my life now. People want to be narrow minded...ok...let them...let me tell you from someone that has lived it...me...you keep doing what you know is right in your heart for you and your daughter and THE MAN...jerry! live love laugh and keep your precious angel in your heart for she is the reason to live. I hope I have not intruded but I just had to let you know you are doing the best.
ps: could you please direct me to the man in the braids...i looked and i am not sure if i was looking at the right picture...:o)
kj <klovsj101@aol.com>
- Monday, August 29, 2005 10:48 AM CDT

Wow. I guess I missed all of the excitement. Actually, I created some of my own because I clicked on the site last week before reading all of your journal entry and saw that it said for over 21 only. We are not allowed such things, even on our own time so I will have to find another way : )
I can't imagine what all the hooplah is about but then again we have motorcycle weekend here in NH every June and I am pretty used to it. Several years ago my teenage niece and teenage daughter taught my two year old niece how to pull up her shirt and say show me your ***** as they drove through Weirs Beach; the big biker gathering place and all three of them have turned out just fine. Its all in fun, people should just RELAX. I just love all of your stories and everything about you, Jerry, Cassie and sweet Savannah. You are all so real. Love, Celeste
Celeste <starrystarrynight25@yahoo.com>
Center Harbor, NH USA - Monday, August 29, 2005 10:36 AM CDT

I did go to the site to see the picture of Jerry, Since I have family that goes to Sturgis every year I did know what to expect, and while bare breasts are not something I am into I did want to see the picture of Jerry. I liked how his hair was when you were at my house that day better but thats just my humble opinion. People should let you live you life and not be so fast to critize (dont know how to spell that)until they have walked in your shoes. I think you are a great mom.... I hope school is starting out good for Cassie this year, is she at the same school again? I have you all in my prayers daily..I KNOW how hard it is to go on when you lose a child.
Sharon <sholweger5@yahoo.com,>
- Monday, August 29, 2005 10:02 AM CDT

Loved the picture of Jerry! Apparently I missed the backlash...thankfully! I hope you guys have a great week!
Christi <hamilton.fam@cox.net>
Dove Canyon, CA - Monday, August 29, 2005 9:58 AM CDT

Lisa,

You didn't do anything wrong. I haven't viewed the site yet since you put up a WARNING that anyone under 18 should not view the site... SO I WAS SMART ENOUGH not to open the site, knowing that there may be some questionable content, not becuase I was afraid of seeing boobies, but because I was reading from work. I check your site every day. I've posted a few times in your guest book. I just wanna say from everything I have read you are a wonderful mother. Please ignore the ignorant, holier then thou people/person.
Jessie
Bremerton, WA - Monday, August 29, 2005 9:30 AM CDT

to tell the truth i went on there and i too laughed my head off. what has this world come too. breasts aint nuthing compared to tv and movies now.. its about being natural with out being nasty good grief to the ones out there. i loved how jerry hair was braided. loved the site too thank you for posting the link.you all have a great day
hugs tonya cinnamon

tonya cinnamon <tonyacinnamon@knology.net>
knoxville, tn united states - Monday, August 29, 2005 8:41 AM CDT

I'm so glad Ann and Mark were here to say what I couldn't seem to put words to! But I think it's Sad's "that man" comment that burns me the most. Go back to the photos posted here of him with Lisa and Savannah on Savanah's deathbed and then think about what kind of man he really is. We should all be so lucky to have people like "that man" to love us that much.

All we can do is live our own lives.
Brenda Reeder <reederbj@yahoo.com>
- Sunday, August 28, 2005 8:10 PM CDT

Lisa,I'am sorry dosen't seem enough but please do not let this person dissuade you from writing and being totally honest.Ann and Mark pretty much said it all so I just want to say this.. You are a good mother just look at Cassie and you will feel it.You are a special, beautiful human being and I know Savannah feels that too.Someone who cares in Hemet.Sherry
Sherry <cowpies5@aol.com>
Hemet, ca usa - Sunday, August 28, 2005 2:04 PM CDT

Isn't it refreshing to find here someone without sin that they can cast stones. To return after sometime away and to catch up on the wonderful postings only to find this diatribe to end it all. I am one that normally controls my emotions but these few postings pushed the wrong buttons. If this posting is inappropriate I apologize in advance. Lisa, I know you are strong enough to brush this aside but from experience I know it still stings. As the posting below so aptly put it " Lisa -- ignore the dogs and the swine ".

So Disgusted, Won't be returning, SAD, Sorry for you too and Sorry for you (I have a feeling one in the same hiding behind different monikers) how about coming out behind the veil of e-mail, lets talk. I would love to hear of any losses you may have experienced. Maybe you can explain who granted you the right to be judge and jury. Let's talk Christainity, you being so righteous that you have the odesity to speak of taking away a child from someone who has already lost so much. It is indeed the likes of you that confirm what I believe. So "Holier than all" "Let's Talk" educate me. Here it is 801-918-4636 call me on my dime I look forward to the entertainment or e-mail me if you wish so you can hide behind the mist and cast stones from that holy perch you seem to have self appointed yourself upon. Lisa needs no defending but I would love a chance learn of the blessed God that guides you.

Lisa on a better note so great to be back to the States and catch up on things. Give Jerry our happy belated birthday wishes and hugs and of course love and hugs from all of us to you and Cassie. Catch up with you via e-mail after I weed out all the junk.

Again I apologize if this posting is deemed inappropriate. The wrong nerves were struck by all this and Kate can back it up. She is still hunting for the gasket I blew. Okay count to 10 slowly ..... take deep breathes.... Oh heck, holy one(s), call me and explain why I should not be upset with the likes of you.
Mark <mstewart8852@msn.com>
- Sunday, August 28, 2005 7:54 AM CDT

I am so glad that some of you are without blame and in a position to judge Lisa. Not that I think she has anything to be ashamed of! In the first place, she is not in any of the pictures. Secondly, she asks only those over 21 to go to that site. It is a shame that those offended by nudity didn't bother to read the screen:

"If you are under 18 or (21 in some States) years of age, or if it is illegal to view adult material in your community, please leave now. We can't be held responsible for your actions. We are not acting in any way to send you this information; you are choosing to receive it! Continuing further means that you understand and accept responsibility for your own actions, thus releasing the creators of this Web-Site and our service provider from all liability."

She did not display any questionable content on the caringbridge site -- you CHOOSE to enter an adult site, knowing full well that it contained adult material, and you CHOOSE to be offended. Here's a hint: if nudity bothers you, then you should not hit enter when you come across screens like the one above

But the real question is why does our society seem to think nudity is so shocking and vulgar? Is the human body so incredibly repugnant that it must be hidden from view at all times? Should we go out and buy burkas so that we can shield ourselves from any type of sexuality? I fail to see how being open and comfortable with nudity makes Lisa a terrible mother. I would think teaching Cassie not to be ashamed of her body, and not to give into the pressures to be another anorexic super model would be one of the best lessons a mother could teach her daughter. I would much rather my child learn to embrace life and love others, then become a self-righteous zealot.

Lisa -- ignore the dogs and the swine

Matthew 7: 1-6

�Judge not, that you be not judged. For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you. And why do you look at the speck in your brother�s eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, �Let me remove the speck from your eye�; and look, a plank is in your own eye? Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother�s eye.

�Do not give what is holy to the dogs; nor cast your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you in pieces.
Ann
Colorado Springs, CO - Sunday, August 28, 2005 2:16 AM CDT

I am very sorry for the loss of another child. Not much comfort, but your girl was there to greet her... perhaps a little smile, a happy tear? (I really love the happy tears when I can experience one!)
Kathie Mayo -- Rachael's mom
- Friday, August 26, 2005 8:19 PM CDT

Lisa, My heart just aches over the loss of your friend's little girl. I don't know them, I don't have to to imagine the indescribable loss that they have suffered. My heart especially goes out to her brother. It just isn't fair. I will keep them in my heart and in my prayers along with you and all of the remakable people I have had the priveledge to know and love on the CaringBridge journey. With heartfelt sympathy, Celeste
Celeste <starrystarrynight25@yahoo.com>
Center Harbor, NH USA - Friday, August 26, 2005 9:04 AM CDT

Jerry Happy birthday! Its sounds like it was special with the Hurley ladies. Lisa I keep checking in on you. I think of sweet savanah and cassie alot, I cant believe how much cassie grew up. I just love the dolphin picture. the bath tub rose petals is just an awesome picture. The sparkle in there eyes. Made me smile and cry at the same time.Just know we love your family so much! your awesome! and savannah Phoenix hurley will never be forgotten! Now when are you and herry getting married??? Or did I miss that??
Kim <dakk2222@netnitco.net>
IN - Wednesday, August 24, 2005 10:37 PM CDT

what a neat birthay surprise!! I did not know there was such a train ride, i will have to check into that.. My Dad worked for the Union Pacific railroad in Nebraska and I could ride trains for free, made a lot of trips to visit my cousin that way. I hope you and Jerry both had happy birthday's Cassie is really growing up to do all this fancy cooking.. I hope she has a good school year. and remember I pray for you every day.
Sharon <sholweger5@yahoo.com>
- Wednesday, August 24, 2005 7:15 AM CDT

Cassie is such a nice girl! She is growing up so nicely!
You must be so proud of her.

Angel Rachel's Mommy
jeanne <crowman2766@aol.com>
king of prussia, pa usa - Tuesday, August 23, 2005 8:36 PM CDT

I have never been on that train ride but I do know that area well. I went to school in West Fork and my parents still live out near Devil's Den State Park.
I'm so glad everything went well for you all.
Julie
www.caringbridge.org/ok/savannah
Julie Remington <Youthful64@aol.com>
Broken Arrow, OK USA - Tuesday, August 23, 2005 11:10 AM CDT

Just thinking of you today...
Carrie <calhoonct@archildrens.org>
Little Rock, AR - Tuesday, August 23, 2005 9:39 AM CDT

Great story. The secret, the train, the shorts, the food, even the dishes getting done within the half hour time frame. I can picture it all. Happy Birthday to Jerry. It sounds like a wonderful time. You are all so lucky to have each other. Love, Celeste
Celeste <starrystarrynight25@yahoo.com>
Center Harbor, NH USA - Tuesday, August 23, 2005 7:15 AM CDT

Lisa,
I catch up with your life from time to time--I have always been "taken" with your story and your writing. Just by chance,when I first discovered your journal (through another child, Jaydog) 1 1/2 years ago, I continued to follow your story and not really anyone else's...you just really touched something in me and I was compelled to check in once in awhile. I haven't checked in in awhile b/c of a move this summer, but I just caught up with your summer...anyway (I know I am dragging this out...!, I just wanted to tell you that I have been very drawn to your story and your life. I also have an all girl family. My 3 girls are 9, 8 and 6 1/2. So.....my point tonight is that I just saw the ROSE petal picture and I couldn't take my eyes off your girls. AND, of course, I have my own....taking that into account (and of course, I think they are the yummiest kids around!) I MUST say, they are flipping adorable in that picture. YOUR loss became so much more profound to me tonight! The joy in their eyes... simply beautiful girls. Interestingly, your girls and y two oldest have close birthdats so I think that is what initially drew me to your story. I really like hearing about Cassie's life too--just to compare things with my 9 1/2 yr. old. I must say you are a GREAT mother! You do so much with your little girl and are giving her an incredible childhood. And I know you did so with Savannah's time here on earth too. SO, even though I don't always write, I do follow and think of you and your life. I just had to say hello and let you know that I think you are and have been an incredible mom to those girls and it makes me stop and think about how I need to just have some FUN with mine too! (Not just running around to soccer and dance and more activities all week long!) I hope you find more happiness than sadness in your life as the years go by and, of course, never losing the hold on the little one that was stolen from you so early in her life! WHew...guess I should write more often.
Shelley <shelster3@aol.com>
Carlsbad, CA USA - Monday, August 22, 2005 10:58 PM CDT

BRENDA My Loving Dad's Site <brurka@shaw.ca>
EDMONTON,ALBERTA CANADA, - Monday, August 22, 2005 11:59 AM CDT

jerry i hope you had a wonderful birthday!!!!!what did you all get to eat:-)cassie i bet you did look cute riding that bike ;-)
lisa i hope you all had a wonderful time yesterday .dont blame you driving that bus i like my airconditoing ehehehe
..hugs to you all. today i am 30 bahhhhh but its ok. just the change i hate,:)
hugs tonya
http://www3.caringbridge.org/tn/tylerbug/

tonya cinnamon <tonyacinnamon@knology.net>
knoxville, tn united states - Monday, August 22, 2005 11:25 AM CDT

Lisa,
It was so great hearing from you. Savannah is really enjoying her few hours of school. Now if I just could get the school to relax and let Savannah be.
We live just south of Tulsa.
I hope you all are doing well.
Take Care,
Julie
www.caringbridge.org/ok/savannah

Julie Remington <Youthful64@aol.com>
Broken Arrow, OK USA - Friday, August 19, 2005 6:58 PM CDT

Lisa,

From us a belated HAPPY BIRTHDAY as well. Tried to send smoke signals form the desert but sand is a bugger to try and burn. We hope your day was fantastic and bright. Our birthday dinner in honor for you consisted of stuffed grape leave, orze madses and for dessert umm ali (sans the candles). Should have had Cassie here to add that "BAM". Trust me the food needs some additives LOL :-). Wishing you and Cassie a marvelous weekend.
PC Clan (Searching for Mecca)
- Friday, August 19, 2005 8:32 AM CDT

Lisa, Happy belated birthday! Hope you had a memorable day. Hope Cassie's first day of school was a good one. I think of you so often and in prayer. Every morning when I get to work I log on to "hear" your words. You have such a gift for writing. Thank you for sharing it with so many. Sending hugs and kissesxoxoxoxoxxo...Paulette
paulette <paulette@conwaycorp.net>
plumerville, ar - Thursday, August 18, 2005 8:58 AM CDT

Happy Birthday, Lisa!

I'm one of your "silent" followers. I don't know if I've ever signed in before, but I have been checking your site for a really, really long time. Savannah was such a beautiful girl and by the pictures you put up, I really can tell what a spitfire she was. Hold the memories dear to your heart. (I know you do.) Cassie sounds so grown up already. I hope she has a good time in school this year. :0) I realize she, too, has endured so much.

Hopefully, you make the best of your birthday. I know you are terribly missing Savannah. I'm so sorry. . . ((hug)).

Always in my thoughts and prayers.
Becky L. Harbarth <peanutpie3879@netscape.net>
Gaylord, MN USA - Wednesday, August 17, 2005 4:07 PM CDT

Keep on Trucking Lisa...Have a Happy Birthday heres to 40 more.Someone who cares in hemet sherry

Sherry <cowpies5@aol.com>
Hemet, ca usa - Tuesday, August 16, 2005 10:10 PM CDT

Hi Lisa!
Sorry it's been so very long since i wrote to tell you that i still keep track of you and Cassie and Jerry..what pure joy and truth you bring to my life and i thank you for it! I also want to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY and PLEASE just spend your special day the way you want to...whatever gift you give yourself on this day will return to be a gift to you and everyone else you love.
I grew up with my Grandpa O'Brien taking out AND bringing in everyone's trash cans on the entire street where he lived each week on his way WALKING to and from work (and that was when he was in his 70's and his 80's..how special that i learned as a child what neighbors are supposed to do for each other without a thought or begging. How lucky i am now to have moved to a house where my one neighbor helps with taking trash & recycling bins out & in each week but also watches out for your home if you tell him you are going to be away at all...it's like my Grandpa lives on in spirit!!! I also am SO very lucky that one other neighbor helps Kelly & Meghan with shoveling by coming with his snowblower instead of them struggling to clean the driveway before i come home from work .. I agree with the others... if you have enough time to write down nasty thoughts over containers on the curb and whatever else bothers you about your neighbors, then you had MORE than enough time to help them and be kind to some one in your life. Lisa, just remember...not everyone gets it right away.....keep trying and educating, maybe it will help down the road of everyone's lives.

THANKS for your updates! They bring joy and inspiration!
erin www2.caringbridge.org/ct/kelly
berlin, ct - Tuesday, August 16, 2005 9:54 PM CDT

The boys are excited about starting school. I know Cassie must be also. I farmed out school supplies this morning. Yes, I went to Wal-Mart all alone for a change. It was much easier to get the lists done without 3 helpers. I actually found everything I needed in one stop. That is a miracle.

Hope Cassie is doing alright with her asthma. Austin is on 6 different medications! He should be fine in a few days. His wonderful mother completely missed a double ear infection and had no idea he was wheezing. I thought I was being proactive by taking him to the doc to "discuss" his meds for this approaching allergy season. A day late and a dollar short. Thank GOD for insurance. My hundred dollar pharmacy run would have been 5 times that amount otherwise.

We love Fayetteville. Bryan and I met in a bar there while going to college. (He doesn't remember much about the night except something about a pitcher.) If I were you, I think I would have to go see Jerry every chance I had because I love that area in NW Arkansas so much. But, I loved living in Russellville/Dardanelle, too. Arkansas is just a beautiful state. We just bought a new tent, so maybe we can enjoy some places after the weather cools.

Thought about Miss Savannah while we were in Branson. Saw a billboard advertising the Joseph show and knew you had said it was her favorite. Had we had time and money, we would have gone to see it, but we blew our wad at Bass Pro Shop.

Hope you had a great birthday today. I imagine Cassie fixed a special meal for you or at least has plans for nothing short of a feast.
Jennifer Cook <jencook@conwaycorp.net>
Conway, ar usa - Tuesday, August 16, 2005 9:45 PM CDT

Happy Birthday Lisa! Now, get on your pretty little black dress, and go out and kick your heels up girl! Oh yeah, and tell those neighbors next time they see our cans rolling around to be a real "neighbor" and bring them up to your house for you, they have nothing better to do, right?
Tammy DeBlaay ("Friends of Allie") <tammydeblaay@hotmail.com>
Fort Worth, Tx - Tuesday, August 16, 2005 11:09 AM CDT

Happy Birthday Lisa!

I hope you can find some happiness today. Just try not to worry about the neighbors, Cassie's Father, work, or anything else that brings you down. Rachel's mom was right, "They really don't know what REAL problems are"! Just wanted you to know that I am thinking about you and wishing you the very best on your day!

A Friend in Christ's Unending Love,
Michelle Bartoletti Olman <michelle@village.howard.wi.us>
Green Bay, WI USA - Tuesday, August 16, 2005 10:16 AM CDT

Happy Birthday Lisa!!

You sure had a busy week girl!! Hopefully tonight you can relax...have a couple drinks and maybe take that bubble bath with some lit candles. As for the neighbor stuff...I don't know why some people act like that. At my old house I had some petty neighbors...I guess they just don't know what real problems are.

Happy Birthday to YOU!!

Angel Rachel's Mommy
jeanne <crowman2766@aol.com>
king of prussia, pa usa - Tuesday, August 16, 2005 7:59 AM CDT

Dear Lisa, Greetings on your birthday. I am a real sap about birthdays. Yes, we say Happy Birthday to each other, send cards, give gifts and hopefully, eat LOTS of cake but for me it has a deeper meaning. It is a day to stop and think about the person who we love and to honor, celebrate and give thanks for who that person is and their connection to us. The anniversary of birth, the first day on earth. The first day in a mother's arms. I am thankful every day, for you Lisa, and all the gifts that you give to so many, me included. I am thankful every day but especially today. Happy Birthday Lisa. Love, Celeste
Celeste <starrystarrynight25@yahoo.com>
Center Harbor, NH USA - Tuesday, August 16, 2005 7:38 AM CDT

Lisa, the first thing I want to say is I am sorry.......sorry for what you have to endure, sorry for what you have had to go through and sorry for what you are missing. The list could go on and on. I'm sorry I think covers it all. I am not sure what else to say. I do think Savannah would love for you to celebrate your 41st birthday. I think you should have a party, dance on tables, throw on that chief's hat and bake, cook, drink a little wine and take that rose petal bath. I would do it all, tears and all. I think she will love it. Cassie would too. Heck, I want an invitation :) I agree with you. Keep that chin up. You are a great Mom and you always have your children first. We all love you and want the very best for you and Cassie. I am sorry this is all over the place but my thoughts are everywhere today, thinking about Savannah.
Carol Burgess <carol_burgess@kerrgroup.com>
Conway, Nc USA - Thursday, August 11, 2005 1:37 PM CDT

Just stopping by to let you know you are in my heart and prayers and we have not forgotten Savannah. May God draw near and fill your heart with strength and grace, but most of all, hope.

There is constant joy abiding
In Christ my Lord and King;
Of His love that passeth knowledge
My heart and tongue shall sing.

He is all in all to me,
And my song of songs shall be,
Hallelujah, O my Savior,
I am trusting only Thee.

When my path is veiled in shadows,
And clouds above me roll,
I can smile amid the tempest,
His glory fills my soul.

I can see his bow of promise
Through tears and trials deep;
I can hear His voice like music,
That lulls my care to sleep.

I shall yet behold the praise Him,
And dwell in perfect peace
In the golden land of beauty,
Where cloud and wave shall cease.

Sending a ton of prayers your way.
Love and hugs
Judy

Catch An Angel
Judy <tnderheart@yahoo.com>
- Thursday, August 11, 2005 8:04 AM CDT

Lisa, I think of you and Cassie so often and of Savannah too I still have the little thankyou note right in front of me every day as I sit here. I wish there was something that could ease the pain all us grieving momma's have every day of our lives. I still pray for you all every day.
Sharon <sholweger5@yahoo.com>
- Wednesday, August 10, 2005 9:57 AM CDT

Lisa - you are totally beautiful. Your heart is so precious and so open. I truly wish there were more out in the world like you. You have so much to give and that is so awesome! Celebrate that 41st....Have the biggest party of your life....Dance, sing, enjoy it all. You know that your angel will be there with you -- as well as all your angels.
Linda Hoover <secureangel@aol.com>
Beach Park, IL USA - Wednesday, August 10, 2005 9:01 AM CDT

Lisa, of all of the people I know, you are the one that lives life the most including the joy, the laughter and the sadness and grief. It is your realness that I admire most. Not only how real you are but how real you encourage all the rest of us to be. Whatever you do for your birthday or any day, whether it be laughing or crying, you are so loved for exactly who you are. As always....Celeste
Celeste <starrystarrynight25@yahoo.com>
Center Harbor, NH USA - Wednesday, August 10, 2005 7:45 AM CDT

Lisa
You are beautiful. Never stop living, never stop loving, never stop crying... NEVER STOP.
Have a party for your 41st... do everything Savannah would have at the party. Dance on the tables, eat, drink and be merry... she will be there...
She will be the music in your heart, the dancer in your feet, the laughter in your lungs, the tears in your eyes, and the twinkle in your smiles on your face and the secret smiles in your heart.

Oh what such a beautiful angel she is...
Shelly <shelly.davis@atkearney.com>
Sydney, Australia - Wednesday, August 10, 2005 0:09 AM CDT

Those last moments is so awful. How can something like that happen in this generation with all the technology we have now??????? Yesterday those images were choking me. When that happens we have to cry and let it out. It sucks so bad.
But like you said, keep our chin up for our other kids. I think you are doing one heck of a good job with Cassie.

Angel Rachel's Mommy
jeanne <crowman2766@aol.com>
king of prussia, pa usa - Tuesday, August 9, 2005 1:32 PM CDT

Just checking in on ya.
Tammy DeBlaay ("Friends of Allie") <tammydeblaay@hotmail.com>
Fort Worth, Tx - Tuesday, August 9, 2005 1:26 PM CDT

This is my first time on your website. My 5 year olds funeral was today as she became an angel due to the same thing as your daughter. My husband and I were shocked and brought to tears as your daughters profile in the hospital bed looks just and I mean just like our daughter looked days ago. She was on steroids and she has that tiny little nose and same hair. Amazing. I stared at her for a long time. I hope we can share stories and help each other. I know it is going to be a tough road ahead. I now have one daugher left and am going to cherish the heck out of her.
Leah's Mommy forever
Karen
pkkl916@hotmail.com
Karen James <pkkl916@hotmail.com>
Livonia, MI USA - Monday, August 8, 2005 9:16 PM CDT

nothing is ever easy but I am glad you had a nice time. The pictures of Cassie are so nice. The dolphin picture is really amazing!!

I just wanted you to know that I am thinking of you.

Angel Rachel's Mommy
jeanne <crowman2766@aol.com>
king of prussia, pa usa - Sunday, August 7, 2005 9:41 AM CDT

Hey...I have to stand up for California. You must have flown through LA for San Fran...don't throw the rest of us in with them! We support our troops. In fact, we also support their families while they are deployed. We have a group that provides the spouses with a "get away" day at least once a month. We take care of babysitting; lunch; manicures; pedicures; entertainment; etc. Our girls have also been to several "Support Our Troops" rallies--flag waving all the way :)

There's quite a group of us, out here on the left coast, that still have a great deal of pride in and respect for our military!

Loving the vacation stories! Cassie deserves to be famous...what a face!
Christi <hamilton.fam@cox.net>
Dove Canyon, CA - Monday, August 1, 2005 11:10 AM CDT

Lisa, Cassie, Jerry, thank you SO much for such a great day yesterday! You guys are awesome. Cant wait till next time!
love and hugs,
Jennifer
Kaelei's mom - www.caringbridge.org/ar/kaelei <mamajenn@sbcglobal.net>
Centerton, AR USA - Sunday, July 31, 2005 7:19 PM CDT

Hey Lisa, us folks here in DFW don't only give up our seats, we have a huge crowd waiting for the boys when they land, its a nice welcome home thank you for them, you see DFW is one of the major hubs that most of our service men pass thur getting home, so we roll out the red carpet, and make a bunch of noise! Just supporting our troops, look at all they do for us, come on California, get with the progam! Just reading your post brings me to tears!
Tammy DeBlaay ("Friends of Allie") <tammydeblaay@hotmail.com>
Fort Worth, Tx USA - Friday, July 29, 2005 1:25 PM CDT

What a great (at least half) story about the people giving up their 1st class seats for our service men/women. I bet if your Cassie (that is my sister's name) would have had one of those seats, she would have given up hers in a heartbeat. I usually don't sign your guestbook (I'm pretty sure I have in the past), but I wanted to let you know that I really look forward to your entries.
Jessie <jpetersen@tcco.com>
Bremerton, WA - Thursday, July 28, 2005 3:28 PM CDT

I like pearls, too. All of mine were fake until Bryan surprised me a few years ago for Christmas. Since I have a tendancy to break jewelry, we had it insured. That is a relief to me. I actually broke my wedding ring in half 3 times. I probably shouldn't have worn it when I worked for Cargill on hog farms! I also broke a necklace with a small pearl pendant, and it fell beneath a hog giving birth. I did manage to fish that one out :) See, I am just a mess.

Cassie is an amazing girl, but she has an amazing mom, so we should expect nothing less. We mined for sapphires on our road trip, and Adam found the biggest one. we will have something made with it. Since we left 3 days after our miscarriage (16 weeks along)(you may not have known), I think the sapphire will always remind me of this time away...of hurt and healing and family. I know that you will see Cassie with her pearls and look back one day of the trip to Hawaii and the good memories that you shared.

Today is not quite so miserable. I have never been so thankful for an impending thunderstorm. We need cooler temperatures!
Jennifer Cook <jencook@conwaycorp.net>
Conway, AR usa - Wednesday, July 27, 2005 12:33 AM CDT

I am so glad you and Cassie got to take that trip together you made so many beautiful memmories. I know it was hard to go without Savannah,and that you wanted so bad for her to be there..... I still think of that a lot of times when I do something I think Mike would have enjoyed....
Sharon <sholweger5@yahoo.com>
- Tuesday, July 26, 2005 1:11 PM CDT

Visions of Cassie decked in pearls, chef's hat and white apron. Armed with exotic spices, a bottle of "imported" (or smuggled) UTAH wine ;-) and throughout the kitchen her voice echoes "BAM". Cassie and Lisa we thank you for all the wonderful stories and Lisa a personal thank you for private words that continually warm the heart.
M & K and the PC Crew
PC, UT USA - Tuesday, July 26, 2005 12:55 AM CDT

Pearls. There is something really magic about pearls. There is something really magic about Cassie discovering them. Your Cassie stories are really heartwarming. She is really a wonderful little girl. It is nice to hear about your weekend contentment. Love, as always....Celeste
Celeste <starrystarrynight25@yahoo.com>
Center Harbor, NH USA - Tuesday, July 26, 2005 10:41 AM CDT

Lisa, I knew you'd come thru, that Cassie is one wheeling and dealing girl, can I borrow her? Stay sweet you two!
Tammy DeBlaay ("Friends of Allie") <tammydeblaay@hotmail.com>
Fort Worth , Tx USA - Tuesday, July 26, 2005 10:34 AM CDT

OHHHH!!! that's wonderful Cassie.You are the most grown up 10 year old.I think you are more grown up than me.I always chose the disposable stuff that only lasted a little while.I have learned to live life differently now of coarse. Keep trying to make those tips.You Go Girl!!!!!

Lisa, you have the most wonderful child.I am sooo in awe of the girl that Cassie is turning out to be.BE PROUD!!!

Your vacation sounds like a dream come true.With one thing missing.The laughter and smiles of your wonderful Savannah..
By the way your "luck" was going it sounds as if she was with ya though.In mind and spirit.

Love ya lots,Carol

Football practice is starting for us with william today.He's never played on a team before.I hope I like it as much as baseball.It is soooo hot here I think I might melt during the pratice.I can't even imagine what the kids will feal like.ugh!!!
carol(www.caringbridge.org tx/sydney)
tx - Monday, July 25, 2005 5:51 PM CDT

Oh, I love the dolphin photo! It is priceless. And, the whole cooking scene. I think Andrew would love Cassie. Between the Food Network, the Weather Channel and infomercials about vacuum cleaners, he keeps us all well informed.

We just returned from a road trip to North Carolina. We saw a Hurley Motorcycle shop somewhere on a backroad and thought about you all. Lots of motorcycles out on the Blue Ridge Parkway. We enjoyed our time away with the boys. It was very therapeutic. We left last Sunday and returned last night. I didn't think I would even want to come home, but home is a wonderful thing.

I love pineapple. Now I guess I will need to go buy some fruit and try to duplicate your meal. My boys lose their minds if we actually use the china. I should do more things like that.
Jennifer Cook <jencook@conwaycorp.net>
Conway, AR USA - Sunday, July 24, 2005 10:25 PM CDT

Hey Cassie, Can I hire you out to cater a party for me and my girls! lol. What fun...You guys inspire me..Make me strive to be that much closer to my girls...
Lisa..Cant wait to get together with yall.. and I bet the girls will have a ball! hope it will be soon...

Yall have a great weekend ahead..
much love,
Jennifer

Kaelei's mom (www.caringbridge.org/ar/kaelei) <mamajenn@sbcglobal.net>
Centerton, AR USA - Thursday, July 21, 2005 6:33 PM CDT

What a great dinner I wish I could have been there. And that trip.... sweet, it sounds awsome.
Just wanted to stop by and say hello and that I was thinking about you guys today all three of you. Ok four tell Jerry I said hello.

Angel Melody's Daddy

Rob (www.ourmelody.net) <rob@ourmelody.net>
- Wednesday, July 20, 2005 1:49 PM CDT

Lisa, I respect you so much for the mom that you are to both Savannah and Cassie. Your journal writing over the last few days is absolutely magical but probably doesn't even come close to the magic of the time that you have spent with Cassie in Hawaii and even in the supermarket and in your own kitchen. Your bond is so strong and it goes all the way out to the universe and stays tight with Savannah. I just know that she was right there with you on that plane ride. Cassie is an absolute joy. I can't believe how much she has changed in the last year and a half that I have been standing by. She is so much the young lady now. The picture of her with the dolphin says it all, her gentleness, her honor of that beautiful creature. I have a special place in my heart for the siblings. Cassie's life was turned upside down and changed forever with the illness and loss of her sister. She had to deal with issues that bring adults to their knees and somehow, some way be a little girl too. You have given her that, a safe place to grow from 8 to 9 to 10 years old and on and on and on to be everything that Cassie Hurley can be. She is a joy and so are you. It is great to hear your happy stories. Love, Celeste
Celeste <starrystarrynight25@yahoo.com>
Center Harbor, NH USA - Wednesday, July 20, 2005 10:33 AM CDT

I love the vacation stories. I wish I were there. But I know I couldn't feel the experience like you and Cassie did. It sounds more magical when you describe them. I am like you though, I plan everything. If if doesn't go off as planned I am at a complete loss on how things got 'messed' up. Your trip has made me realize that you experience more when you go with the flow and not get upset when plans go by the wayside. You, Cassie and Savannah are constantly teaching us new lessons everyday. I will be forever grateful for accidentally finding this site so long ago. I know I don't sign often but sometimes there are no words to be expressed, only felt. I just hope that you feel the love we all share out here in Caringbridge for you, Cassie, Savannah and Jerry.
Carol Burgess <carol_burgess@kerrgroup.com>
Conway, NC USA - Wednesday, July 20, 2005 7:46 AM CDT

I have visited many times, but this is the first time signing.
I am so glad that your vacation has been wonderful..and Cassie and the dolphins, magical.
-Lauren
http://groups.msn.com/ChristophersRainbowProject
Lauren Lucas
Plymouth, MI - Wednesday, July 20, 2005 7:02 AM CDT

The dolphin picture is pure magic.

Lynn King <lynnking04@yahoo.com>
San Jose, CA - Tuesday, July 19, 2005 5:57 PM CDT

BRENDA My Loving Dad's Site <brurka@shaw.ca>
EDMONTON,ALBERTA CANADA, - Tuesday, July 19, 2005 12:15 AM CDT

I broke into a big smile when I saw the picture of Cassie and the dolphin. What a magical time. Love, Celeste
Celeste <starrystarrynight25@yahoo.com>
Center Harbor, NH USA - Monday, July 18, 2005 8:25 AM CDT

Me too, loving the storys, I'm sure you have a few more, I'm still listening.....................ah Hawaii.
Tammy DeBlaay (friends of Allie) <tammydeblaay@hotmail.com>
Fort Worth, Tx USA - Saturday, July 16, 2005 5:43 PM CDT

I am loving the story of your vacation... a divein what a novel and neat idea?????Shoot, whats a little rain when your in a pool anyway? I think of you and Cassie often and I hope one day we can have a visit again.
Sharon <sholweger5@yahoo.com>
Dardanelle , - Friday, July 15, 2005 5:25 PM CDT

Glad Hawaii was so spectacular
mrs pam <preschoolpenpals@yahoo.com>
- Friday, July 15, 2005 3:44 PM CDT

What a wonderful adventure you have had and some great memories for you and Cassie. I am so glad that you all had such a great time.

I have thought about you so much these past few days.
Jennifer Cook <jencook@conwaycorp.net>
Conway, AR usa - Friday, July 15, 2005 9:51 AM CDT

The pic of Cassie is wonderful...taken at just the right moment. She sure does look like you, Lisa. Sounds like you had a wonderful,memorable time. Thank you for sharing...love and prayers, Paulette
paulette <paulette@conwaycorp.net>
plumerville, ar - Friday, July 15, 2005 8:26 AM CDT

You know all I can say is you deserve all of this. Your trip sounds absolutely wonderful and we should all take lessons from you on life and to go with the flow. Don't freak or panic when things don't go the way you've planned. There is always a reason or at least that is what I tell myself to get me through sometimes. Always breath in and enjoy every moment, you of all people understand that to the deepest part of your heart. You are awesome to share such a wonderful place with Cassie and I know Savannah was also there above looking over and always always within you and your heart.
I Love You,
Kris
Kris Griffin
russellville, ar - Friday, July 15, 2005 7:43 AM CDT

Lay Of The Sunflower (Forest Of Fennario)
Lyrics: Robert Hunter
Music: Warren Haynes

First played by Phil Lesh and Friends on 31 December 2000. Originally listed as "Forest of Fennario" but in fact a setting by Warren Haynes of Robert Hunter's "Lay Of The Sunflower"

I must leave you for a season
Go out logging that hardwood timber
Hardwood timber that grows so low
In the forest of Fennario

Tell me what you need to live, love
Do you ask that you might own
Take my blue-eyed hound to guard you
I will make my way alone

I will not return in winter
If I be not back by fall
Seek me when this small sunflower
Grows above the garden wall

Fare you well and I would not weep
Bid you tend your prayers to keep
Hill by dale now must I go
To the forest of Fennario

Nine-month blew with sleeted rain
And still he came not back again
Summoned she the hound to go
To seek him in Fennario

He came back the fated day
To find his lady gone away
Made haste to follow in her track
Where she could go but not turn back

At her side the blue-eyed hound did bay
While fast her breath did fade away
She cried out: Turn, my love, and go
I would not have you see me so

I shall not turn, I shall not yield
Oh, selfsame serpent sting my heel
That bleeds my ladys blood away
Beside the blue-eyed hound to lay

Angels sing their souls to sleep
Four winds grace their breath to keep
Up above yon garden wall
Stands the sunflower, straight and tall

Hill by dale now must I go
To the forest of Fennario

M Elton <meltonva@yahoo.com>
Richmond, va - Sunday, July 3, 2005 4:02 PM CDT

Hi Lisa - been wanting to call you so badly and things are just hectic (hell-like at times) and then I can't get to my e-mail to get your number, all that.... you know how it goes. Trying to get things under control is harder than it sounds... although- it even sounds hard ! Living without Celeste is the hardest thing but finding myself again doesn't help... the emotional/physical abuse hasn't helped either... sigh... it's been bad but good... sad but happy... which is normal but I need ground to stand on these days. This is why I haven't been in touch. I've not been in touch with anyone - it exhausts me when I do call or visit someone - since much of the time it's family that is negative or critical. (they're control freaks) I took for granted that we would end up meeting one day. I sure hope that can happen. I don't know what's going on with work and everything but if you ever have the (perhaps strange) desire to come to PGH, there's always room... I know it's virtually impossible... thank goodness for the WWW LOL....... I was thinking the same thing you posted about --- was Celeste real???? Did I imagine my angel???? Of course not --- but thoughts of her take my breath away... I know you can relate - I feel this way when I look at Savannah's picture too. I know they're together, though...
Tami (Sister in the abyss) <tsy2@comcast.net>
pgh, pa - Friday, July 1, 2005 12:41 AM CDT

Lisa,

I love the tattoo it is awesome. I also got a tattoo when my 16 year old daughter Tiffanie passed away in 2001. She loved Scooby Doo and Scooby has been on my back along with her name underneath ever since... Griefing does totally suck. The pain of losing your child never goes away and I agree it does get more intense as time goes on. I describe it as this... The pain does ease but the heartache never goes away....

With you in Grief
Deneen
www.caringbridge.org/page/tiffanie
Deneen Gethouas <dgethouas@state.pa.us>
Enola, PA USA - Wednesday, June 15, 2005 2:31 PM CDT

This is for you Cassie.... C is for..Courageous as well as Compassionate. A is for.. Angel as well as Amazing. S is for..Strong as well as Sensible. S is for Savy as well as Sweet. I is for Intelligent. E is for Extraordinary....Congratulations on all your accomplishments! Hugs to you Lisa.Someone who cares in Hemet.Sherry
Sherry <cowpies5@aol.com>
Hemet, Calif usa - Monday, May 23, 2005 3:00 PM CDT

Lisa,

From distance far my hands reach out to catch you anytime you need. I a different sort of way Savannah and you have caught me. Vent, scream, pound the earth, you will only offend those that do not understand.

If I had touched someone today
Then please let it be something of essence
The goodness instead of my fear of emotions decay
If I had made someone smile
Then I hope it�s of genuine precedence
Of ones own heart, a flying spirit for a while
If I had made someone contemplate life
Then it was something that they had been wanting
Perhaps the struggles entangled, cut like a knife
If I had done a good deed today
Then I hope it was done unselfishly, with no expectations
So as not to be in the limelight, to keep at bay
If I get the chance to open someone�s mind
Then I pray they can see both inside and out
The trials of what is ahead, leaving strife behind
If I get the chance to show a rainbow
Then let the moment last forever and about
For after the rain, is our cleansings to sow
If I can show how the butterfly wakes to the suns rays
Knowing someone was also warmed by my soul
Then their times to live and treasure, to be amazed
If I can give my friendship to another
Should it inspire and last to an unlimited goal
Be it a timeless trek, our lives be praised
If I can give my love to one forever
It will be one I know will make my life better
In the intimate ways that emerges in sensual pleasure
These are many of my feelings to what I have done
For many I have encountered, in my life path
Surely to immerse myself to please of what is to be won
No prize in life, its passion, it�s what we share,
The compassion of our emotions, the time of learning to laugh
Sometimes life is too serious, taking that time to care
If the times I hug someone in happiness or pain
It be the calming effect of my strength
Giving renewed hope in faith to gain
In times I eat or walk with a friend in the park
We share so much of our lives in length
To nurture our hearts and souls, keeping from the dark
The Friends, some forever, some for a season, some for a reason
The heart grows fonder when shared of compassion
With those friends, they are true in every way
So the life of giving, learning on my path
Some have endured my goodness and others my wrath
But truly so much more out there to know
So I haven�t given up, I open my mind to grow

M
- Tuesday, April 19, 2005 9:45 AM CDT

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