Went in Monday for routine stent exchange and woke up to find out they can no longer fit the stent in my ureter. This likely means the tumor in the soft tissue of the left side of my abdomen has grown. Fuck. 

I have not had treatment for 3 weeks and I’m still sick, weak, not myself. I met with my oncologist and discussed treatment options that could possibly be less harsh lol.They are all equally horrible in their on special way. I can’t keep lying to myself. It’s all hard and it all fucking sucks!

Im tired of trading one nasty side effect for another. Stepping away from treatment for now. I need peace. I need to think. Not puke. 

That is is all I have energy for today. 
Talk later. Peace