Approximately 24 hours ago, I had the pleasure to help send the love of my life to a place without pain or suffering.  Wendy battled several things in her life on a daily basis including childhood surgeries, depression, anxiety, lyme disease and kidney cancer to name a few.  She had to use a lot of energy every day internally to get through the day and often “ran out of gas”.  Even with all of this she had the wherewithal to find peace in her simple pleasures of gardening and decorating.

Several people have already reached out to me saying how she directly or indirectly effective their lives in a positive way.  Feel free to add/share any personal stories if you like.

Shortly after the cancer diagnosis, one of the first things she said after hearing this unfortunate news was to say how sorry she was and to forgive her for leaving me.  Her other concern was to help her 3 brothers.  She had some genetic testing performed and found that her cancer was an isolated incident and should not impact her brothers in the same way. 

Wendy also followed the same path as my Dad did nearly 5 years ago and donated her body to the University of Minnesota Medical Program for the Advancement of Medicine https://www.med.umn.edu/research/anatomy-bequest-program  I plan to go the same way when my time comes.  There will not be a wake or funeral per her request.  We did light off several Chinese Wish Lanterns shortly after her passing and that was very fun and therapeutic to symbolize sending her on to her next journey.

I am not skilled at many things, but Wendy was more than able to make up for all my shortcomings.  She made our house more than a home.  Anyone that has ever been to our place knows her effortless artful touch and decorative style of the house inside and out. I will be needing a lot of help in the future to maintain what we have built together.  Fortunately for me, I have a lot of great family and friends that have already offered to assist with the holes that are now in my life going forward.  I am going to take a few days to myself and recharge as I haven’t gotten much sleep the last week when she started to decline. 

Special thanks to the Allina hospice team, her brother Todd, cousin (Bad Cop) Becky, and sister-in-law Fumiko to name a few of the people that helped us along the unexpected cancer diagnosis in March.  Without their expertise, patience and support this would have been unbearable.

We did a lot of traveling, but our favorite place, that we visited 6 times was Bali.  Wendy wanted to invite anyone that can go to Nyepi “Balinese New Year” next year and she will be there in spirit, March 7th, 2019.

Wendy was the sweetest, most loving, caring, person I’ve ever had the pleasure to meet.  I was fortunate enough to spend over 24 years together with her.  Remember that time is relative and no matter how long it would have been, it would have been too soon.  There is never a good time for bad news.  Look at some of her other posts on Caring Bridge to see some of her kind words of wisdom.  

The day before her passing there were several dozen dragonfly’s circling in front of her window, as if to welcome her on her next journey.  Wendy recently got a dragonfly tattoo as she always had a strange fascination with the dragonfly – they seem like tiny aliens. The dragonfly is also a powerful spirit/totem animal. They gravitate to both ponds and puddles and are considered spirits of air and water, deeply tied to our emotions and our minds.  "I can still only see a dragonfly, its wings as thin and light as silk and its body the color of rainbow. But on the wings of this dragonfly I take off and fly, for my soul carries no weight. It is our bodies, these borrowed vehicles of flesh and bone - that weigh us down. Our spirits are eternally free and invincible."

- Daniela I. Norris

I’ll see you soon in your Beach in the Sky my sweet Dragonfly!

I LOVE YOU WENDY!