This has been a week! On Monday 12/15, I got the phone call telling me I was active on the transplant list. I’d been trying since June of 2019. Tuesday evening as I was coming off dialysis I got THE call to come to the transplant center they had a kidney for me. I got home threw some stuff in a bag. My daughter picked me up to travel the 3 hours. She drove through blinding snow to get me there. We were an hour from the hospital and I got the call the kidney was no good, so we turned around and headed home. Not 30 minutes later I got the call that there was another possible kidney and be at the hospital at 6 AM. Soooo... we turned around and headed towards the center, found a motel about 20 minutes from the hospital to get a little sleep.

We arrived at the hospital at 6 AM on Wednesday morning. Due to Covid-19, no visitors so I was dropped off at the door and my daughter sent away. I was taken to a room and prepped for surgery. That includes lab, x-ray, EKG, and visits from the transplant team telling me exactly what to expect. 

I appreciated their honesty as to what I should expect and what they expect of me.  The donor was to be in surgery around 1 PM and I should go in about 4 or 5. As the afternoon wore on, I was told that donor’s surgery was delayed and that my surgery would be closer to 6. I was fortunate to have a nurse the checked on me and communicated with me every hour, whether he had any thing to tell me or not. About 6:30 PM the surgeon called me to tell me the kidney was not for me. The kidney would require a longer hospital stay and close monitoring and he could get a better kidney for me. So at 7:PM, 13 hours later I left without a new kidney.

Disappointed? Maybe, but not really. I needed that ‘dry run’. Today I unpacked and repacked better, knowing what I would use at the hospital. I packed a different bag with things I would need later when I was released, but staying close enough to be monitored since we live 3 hours from the center. 

I am thankful for a surgeon that was frank and honest with me. The transplant team was kind and caring and truly felt badly that they sent me away without a new kidney. With the resurgence of Covid-19, I am glad transplants are still happening.  I am mostly thankful for families in the depths of grief can make a decision to give me a second chance of a life without dialysis. So how can I be disappointed when the blessings outweigh any negative feelings. 

I keep my eye on the prize. 💚 — feeling positive.