Mom received chemo yesterday. Her final treatment is scheduled for December 26th. The end is in sight and we are all looking forward to a little normality again. However, life, I don’t think will ever be the same again.... cancer has changed us all forever. Mom is not who she was just 6 months ago. Dad is a different man. 6 months ago I couldn’t imagine one day to the next and now, looking back I see how God carried us all each and every step never leaving us alone.
Though, lord willing, it’s almost over, mom still has a couple hurdles. Surgery will take place after the first of the year and after that 6 long weeks of daily radiation. My moms life is very obviously not her own. It’s a strange kind of comfort when you surrender to that truth, not that I can fully speak to that... but she can. Mom has changed so much in all of this and I couldn’t be more proud to call her my mother. So many have been touched by the gospel bc of moms cancer... mom has displayed a fight that runs deeper than a pink ribbon. Hope. Not just to fight the cancer and survive but a hope wont die in cancer. The hope of a life that reaches beyond the grave and has no end.
Today I learned that my son has been writing raps and poetry pouring out his pains of watching his grandmother suffer. He’s done this alone and in secret. After sending him to bed one night due to a meltdown I went in to speak with his teacher and discovered some of his writings. I’ve been silently coping myself, just staying busy at work at home and taking care of mom and dad- and perhaps not truly dealing with my own emotions. I fell apart today when I read Titus’ writings... he’s totally my kid when it comes to writing. As a mom I was truly burdened that I didn’t know he was hurting. But when I got up and brushed myself off a bit, I just cried (a lot) in thankfulness as God used my mother’s cancer to provide an opportunity for my son to look at something dear to him - his beloved nanny- he’s never known life without her. Watching his grandma whither a bit has not been easy, but like Job, he’s able- no, WILLING (at 11 years old) to say, “blessed be your name”. I’m floored at what God has done in my boy’s heart and it was born out of a horrible thing like cancer. Please don’t stop praising God for the unseen things he is doing and don’t stop praying for my parents in all of this. The road is still long to, lordwilling, recovery. She has not been to church in about 2 months and misses the church greatly... she has been overwhelmed by the kindness of you all showering her and dad with meals, gift cards, encouraging notes and flowers over these last several months. I am also thankful. My family has had a few trials in the midst of this and I have been ministered to as well when you have cared for my parents.
I decorated my moms tree :) do you like it?
Christmas is a happy time of year! Celebrating the birth of Christ who died that we might live and not fear death... that’s worth celebrating.
