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May 12-18

This Week

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Hello friends and family! It has been quite a while since I last wrote on my caring bridge. The last five weeks have been long but amazing! 

My last chemo treatment was on September 1st. By far the hardest one I had. It took a while to bounce back from that one. Very tired, loss of appetite for 3-4 days, and mentally very foggy. Was so thankful when my strength came back and the fog lifted. 

I was scheduled to finish my last treatment on September 22nd. I got a phone call the Monday before from my doctor’s office and they wanted to postpone it until October 3rd. They wanted to do an early blood test and CT scan. Partly it was because I was having pain in my right arm and this was worrisome. But also because my last tumor marker came back in the normal range. The Dr said I could possibly not have to finish my last round if it all comes back looking well. We went in on the 3rd. I had my chemo bag packed. I was mentally preparing myself for one more round. We met with the Dr before I was scheduled to sit in my chair for treatment. He slid his mask down and said, “Your CT came back perfect. It is clear! Your CA125 is at a 5 (0-40 is normal and cancer free). You don't have to finish your last round.” Once again I sat in that room with so many unknowns and what-ifs getting ready to hit me, but I was CLEAR!! For seven months I had cancer looming over my every step. I had a dark unknown staring me in the face. I had a foreign sickness invading my body that was not welcome. I had many nights after nights of fears of my future and what that all would entail. But God chose to heal me! He chose to take those dark unknowns away and clear my body of cancer. He is so good! 

These last several days I’ve been trying to process being cancer free. It feels so surreal. It’s so crazy, it’s the words you have longed for for seven months and when you hear them you kinda go through a shock stage. Is it true? Now that it is starting to feel real and the freeing feeling has come, I look back on these last seven months and I am thankful for so much! Thankful for the many meals that were provided for our family. Thankful for friends that wanted to help with laundry, cleaning, and yard work. Thankful for the many cards and flowers and gifts that were delivered almost weekly sometimes daily. Thankful for groceries being bought and delivered to our home. Thankful for the many friends and family that brought coffee over and just sat and prayed with me. Thankful for jars being filled with healthy juicing. Thankful for my community and church family pouring themselves out to me and also my family. Thankful for our community rallying around me and did a cancer walk. Thankful that I was surrounded by so much love and support! I couldn’t imagine walking this journey anywhere else. I told my husband I feel like I have been carried through this by each one of you! Thank you! 

I had a friend tell me the other day, “You wanted to be done by fall and look at the mountains and trees.” Our little valley has begun fall time and all the beauty that comes with it. The leaves are turning beautiful colors, mornings are chilled with a crisp fall air, and the mountains are snow-capped. My favorite time of year! And I see my journey as just that…a season. It was a season of learning and growing my faith so much deeper with our Lord. Finding strength and truth in Him. Letting Him work through me to hopefully be a light for someone. I hope through this journey that I walked with the light of Jesus shining through me. And now that our God has healed me I know He is not done! He is still writing my story! I am so excited to share His goodness and also see what He has next! 

I keep thinking of Isaiah 53:5, “and by His stripes, we are healed.” Yes, God has healed me physically. He is the reason I am cancer free. But also because of Him sending His son to suffer and die for us we are healed from our sin. What a gift we have to be healed from our own transgressions because He loves us so deeply! 

Our pastor asked if I would speak in church seven months ago about my faith and this season of life. I remember at the beginning of so much unknown God gave me just a glimpse of the path I was going to walk. And through all the darkness, confusion and chaos He gave me just enough light to see the finish line. He was shining that light for me to walk through all the debris and get to the other side. I’m in complete awe of His love for me and I am standing in His light! 

~Truth over Fact~ 

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