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6/8/23.  365 days - so much has changed, yet time has stood silently still.  With each tic of the clock, I've relived every second of every day of all the years we were blessed with.  With daily visits of pictures, videos, and cherished voicemails, I can feel the love you selflessly gave me and hear your laugh in the wind.  When walking, driving, or watching a movie, I still open my hand and ask you to hold it, just as you did when you were here.  When grief, what-ifs, and regrets fill my breaking heart, you never fail to send me signs to remind me of your never-ending presence.  To have and to hold from this day forward, for better or worse, richer or poor, sickness and health, to love and to cherish til death do us part; and beyond.  I always wished to spend the rest of my life with you, but I am deeply honored to have spent the rest of yours with you. 

After the flowers die and the condolences fade, the greatest honor you can give is to speak Troy's name and continue to share the memories that remain.  Speaking of and hearing about his life, our loss, doesnt bother me - its the silence on the phone, in a room that follows when I share a memory or speak his name that breaks my heart.  I visit him in my mind and heart, talking to him through life, every single day, multiple times a day - sharing that with those willing to listen is freeing.  Be my voice as I pause in silence for a while - share your pictures, stories, memories on the 8th of each month, pay a visit to him in Morehead if you're in town.  

One year marks the end of nothing for me, this is just my beginning; an introduction to this new me I truly never wanted to meet, a future I didn't want to live without him in it.  It's hard to turn the page when you know someone you love won't be in the next chapter, but God says my story must go on; I must pay his love forward. 

Know I love you and thank those who have truly been there, not only for me, but Lauren and Emma too.  Take care of yourselves, take care of each other, and live each day as if it's your last - tomorrow's never promised.