I decided to write today about Texas.  The state of Texas is going through an extremely difficult time and I feel extremely saddened by it. The cold, the suffering, the loneliness and the fear that they must be going through brings me to tears.  Thousands of people are struggling to keep warm and to have food and water.  And here I am sitting all cozy by the window in my house heated to 72 and drinking hot chocolate.

One thing Ive learned over the years and especially during 2020 was that people help in different ways. I had many friends and family who weren’t afraid to talk to me about my health and the death of my first husband. Also over the years I have met many others who had many difficult times with health, death, divorce, loss of job, etc.  I believe that sometimes when we have people come into our lives it’s because somehow and in someway we are meant to be a support for each other.

In dealing with my liver disease I have formed some great friendships. I have become closer to some in my family. I have more sympathy for those that have been through trials just like me.  I have seen amazing people come together to help me during this time and the love is so overwhelming that it’s hard to hold in the tears.

So today and everyday it is my prayer that we help whoever we can and in whatever way we can.  One thing I loved about Jarrod Dearden was his willingness to always help. No matter what.  I was touched each time he stopped to hand money to someone holding a struggling sign. No questions, no judging. Just love towards everyone.  I have tried to help teach that by example to my kids but it really has come very natural to them.  I remember one day tanner told me to stop and he rolled down his window and handed this old man the only money left to his name. And then spencer joined In.

Many of us have our needs met for the most part.  But what about those that don’t?   Do we do what we can to help?

I know it’s not possible to help everyone that is struggling.  but if everyone picked one person to help we’d see amazing things happen. And just because we also struggle, does that mean we are exempt from helping still.

Many people have helped me a lot by Being open, asking questions, giving hugs, serving, loving, listening, and accepting me as a basket case. Yes I’m a basket case. I hide it well 🤪

We all have different situations and ways we deal with stress, loss, fear, sadness, death, etc and I know that!  I think having family and friends accept that I was dealing with it differently then they might and that we all are different and know that being this way isn’t a bad thing helped me tremendously.  Sometimes, if your like me, We try and express to others that even though we are different, we are STILL the same.  We hurt, we bleed, we cry….  We want to be talked to, looked in the eyes, invited out, smiled at, waved to.  Yes, we are different!!  And we are learning how to live again and live in our new reality every day.  We try our best to take care of our families.  We wake up every morning with a new day handed to us and try and make the best of it and then we lie in bed at night with worries, and get ready for another new day.  We put on brave faces for our children, family, and friends, all the while hurting deep down inside.  And when someone asks us how we are, we say, “Fine” knowing all along we are doing crappy.

This simple question, “How are you?”  Should be a time to tell how we feel. So why dont we? Why don’t we say, I’m scared to die? I’m scared I can’t pay my bills? I’m worried my kids have lost their testimony? I’m worried about my depression? Is it because we feel ashamed? Is it because we judge ourselves, or is it because we are scared to let people see our “REAL” self.

I know I’m very guilty of this. It is something I’m working on.....Daily.

What if you were to say: “My basement has a leak and I can’t find it, my lawn needs to be mowed, I don’t know how to fix my fence, how do I manage my bills, I don’t know what I’m going to do for health insurance, my kids are struggling, I don’t sleep anymore, I hurt, I’m tired, how am I going to clean up my leaves in the fall, I cry all the time, and I’m always exhausted,

Do we really think people would say back to us, “well, figure it out”. No. They would say, I’m so sorry”, “ what can I do to help”

S0 even though a  “fine” is what you want to say or other  get when you ask someone how they are doing,....remember that You really have to read between the lines to figure things out!  It doesn’t matter how long  anyone has been dealing with trials. Or what age they are,, everyone still needs that little hug, that wave, a smile, some service, and mostly a friend.  When you find someone going through a death of a spouse you become part of a family. Same goes for those going through a divorce or being single or raising teens. and when we find another one of “us”, we are like magnets because we understand each other at a much deeper level. We find it easy to reach out and comfort those who have had a  loss, or divorced, and we also know it takes courage for those who haven’t.

So let’s all join as a family and not  judge; lets be brave and just stretch out our  hand to someone who is struggling.