The nights are the hardest for me..I cannot leave her unsupervised...She will likely not rouse enough to attempt to get out of bed unassisted, or understand how to even attempt it...but I don't want to tempt fate. I watch over her...from the recliner at her bedside, or from the kitchen table in the adjoining room while I do my work....My husband has compared me to a prarie dog because I will jump up and check her breathing if I cannot see it clearly from my vantage point and only return to whatever I was doing when I see her chest move and am convinced she is comfortable...My husband is working day shift..and has to go into  work at 6:00 AM, I have an amazing job and work from home (her home now) and can keep watch while the hospice staff rotates different disciplines in and out throughout the day....but when work is done, I still watch...until tonight, I didn't take naps...I had been awake since Sunday morning..(it is now Tuesday 5:06 AM). No one is comfortable (family-wise) to give her meds or reposition her....other than me. So while trying to sleep, in the back of my head I am worrying about if she is comfortable or if she is getting anxious...because my interpretation of her anxiety and my family members are different....I want to address it at the immediate onset and prevent any distress...they don't catch the subtle changes (like her tremors starting to show in her hand, or her facial grimace intermittently...or the change in her breathing)...they identify there is an issue when she starts squirming...(or when she did start squirming)....I stay up at night and watch over her..I have occupied myself with sorting through drawers with photos, trinkets, etc and trying to make sense of her life history since she was never really open to sharing some of the early life details..but this is when the sadness and despair kick in...I have pleaded with my deceased aunts and my dad to please come help her find her way..I have told her how much I love her and how sorry I was for being a pain in the ass....but it doesn't help....being alone dealing with this is heartbreaking...but I can't expect anyone to stay here and hold my hand...it is my job as her daughter..so I will deal