HI!  Thanks for checking in with us!  We haven't written in a while so here is a note from each of us.  If you only have time for  a quick update, here it is: Things are in general getting better, it's just very slow.  I (Tracy) have a long way to go, but have also come so far! Thank you for praying; please continue to remember me in prayer!  

From Jonathan: 364 days ago Tracy and I went to bed early with a fair amount of anxiety about her brain tumor surgery early the next morning. We joked how weird it was to put "Brain Surgery" on our family phone calendar. It had only been 8 days since we unexpectedly discovered the tumor from a CT scan and our world turned upside down. 

But the surgeon assured us that it was almost certainly non-malignant and that hopefully it would come out easily. The expectation was that Tracy would be home by the weekend.

Well, that's not how it turned out. The kids, the not-yet spouses, and Tracy's mom and I sat in the waiting room at the hospital. The surgeon came in a bit sooner than expected and said something vague about the tumor being more sticky and difficult to get out than expected and that there may be some "weakness."

That "weakness" turned out to be almost complete paralysis on her right side and a long, fearful, uncertain road of recovery with no way to know how much of her mobility will return. June 15, 2022 began a shocking, sad, scary, and unexpected year, whose anniversary we are now remembering.

In this year we have experienced:

• 4 months of a complete change to our lives with me taking care of Tracy 24/7 and many sweet times of a slow pace of life together, even in the midst of so much loss, grief, and uncertainty
• 3 of our 6 kids got married! Tracy was able to walk down the aisle for each of them, and by the third one (Owen and Kira on June 3), she was even able to do a (slow) rendition of the cupid shuffle!
• some major remodeling in the house to accommodate Tracy's mobility issues - expensive, slow, and stressful, but much of it provided for by the generosity of many friends
• 4 graduations - one graduate school, two college, and one high school
• 1 of the 6 kids moving away to Connecticut to pursue his art training (Nathan); we miss him around here a ton!
• Many tears of both joy and laughter with our brood of adult kids and spouses, especially spending many Sundays together
• So much love and support from friends near and far and our wonderful church family
• Getting to travel to Tampa with dear friends to see Taylor Swift!
• Tracy learning to walk again, to drive, to return to work part-time running the art gallery at Mellwood Art Center

We've been negligent to post anything since December, which is a fair representation of the craziness that the last 6 months in particular have witnessed. I (Jonathan) spent much of November and December trying to get the upstairs remodeled so we could move out of the living room. Then in January I hit the ground at 150mph with a return to teaching, nearly full-time ministry, lots of speaking trips all over the country, and many interviews and podcasts to promote my latest book.

Tracy continues to work diligently at her physical therapy and exercises at home. We have purchased every kind of electronic and exercise equipment we can afford. She constantly watches videos and reads articles about stroke recovery and how to regain control of her right hip, calf, ankle, foot, and toes. I am amazed at how hard she works at her recovery. We have no idea how much she will regain normal mobility, but we would estimate she is about 70% back to normal. Only time will tell how much more she will get back.

I have had a particular difficult few months as the stress and burdens of all of this have been catching up with me. I haven't been sleeping well, chipped some teeth from grinding them, and have felt overwhelmed. I have restarted exercising and doing some other things to slow down and find some peace. 

Tracy and I are excited to be heading to Israel for a two-week tour where I'll be the teacher and pastor for a group from Bible Study Fellowship. There will be some challenging days of walking and stamina for Tracy, but she's up for the challenge and will take part in everything she can. I'll be booked up with teaching here and in Vancouver for most of July, but then we are looking forward to slowing down a bit in August and the rest of the Fall when I'll be on sabbatical.

Here are some specific things you can pray for:

• Complete and total healing for Tracy's right side
• No tumor regrowth
• That our Israel trip would be smooth, peaceful, and meaningful
• For Jonathan's stress and schedule demands

Thank you for the countless acts of love and service and prayer that you have shown us!

From Tracy: It's been a long year!  I vacillate between thankfulness and frustration.  I'm walking and driving. My hand and arm are in good shape for the most part. It could have been much worse.  And I wish it would have been better.  But here I am at this faith place of "I believe, help my unbelief."

I can do most daily life things for myself now.  Jonathan still has to help me navigate tricky walking situations and steep stairs.  He has to carry a lot of things for me because it is difficult for me to walk and do anything else at the same time. We have come a long way since last July, when I came home from rehab unable to move most of my right side.  I'm thankful for that.  I'm working part-time, and got myself a safety ladder so I can still do all of the laddery things I like to do.  We are slowly getting back to a more normal life.  I'm not ready to say "new normal" yet though, as I'm still hoping for more recovery. 

We had a follow up with my PMR (rehab specialist) last week.  She was encouraging and said to keep doing what I'm doing and she'll see me in 4 months.  She is inclined to try Botox injections on some muscles that are hindering my progress, so we'll talk about that at the next appointment.  I feel hesitant about that, but don't know why. I could use some wisdom from God about this.

We bit a metaphorical bullet and purchased a FES (functional electrical stimulation) unit.  It is called Bioness, and is a cuff that I wear below my knee.  It sends electrical impulses to contract muscles so that my foot lifts and clears the floor when I walk.  It has a sensor, so it only sends the signal when I lift my leg to walk.  Pretty cool technology.  The best part is that I can wear any shoes!  Huge praise!  I have been wearing the same single pair of shoes for 10 months because they were the only ones my AFO would fit in.   I'm now wearing sandals and am very excited about that.

For Owen's wedding on June 3, I wore the Bioness for more than 12 hours.  I hadn't done that before, and made a mistake.  There are pads in there that have to be wet in order for it to work properly.  I should have rewet them at some point, but didn't think of it.  When I went to take it off at the end of the night, there was a burn on my leg.  So I couldn't wear it or my AFO for the next few days in order to let that spot heal.  We usually take a walk on Sundays, and I thought I'd try without the aids and someone could go get the car if I couldn't make it. Well, I made it!  It was an ugly, hobbly walk, but I made it!  Since then, I've gone a few days with assistance and a few without.  It feels like progress.

We are still renting the Motus Foot robotic foot.  It helps strengthen my ankle and promote brain reconnection. It is basically gaming with my foot.  Games like solitaire and asteroids.  It is enjoyable to do.  I had a great hour-long consult with the Motus Foot doctor, Dr. Nick.  I have so many questions and it is hard to find answers.  I asked him what my chances are of reconnecting my brain to my ankle since it's been a year now.  He said if I have any control of my ankle, I have connection.  I have a little control of my ankle, so that felt like very good news!

I'm not doing in person PT anymore.  Our insurance provided a digital PT program through Sword Health.  It is like Wii meets physical therapy.  I wear sensors on my body and follow the exercises on a digital tablet.  If I'm not doing the exercises correctly, it will tell me.  (Don't lean your body to the right, don't bend your knee).  There are a lot of happy, winning, game noises that make it a positive experience.  There is a PT I can text through the app to tweak the exercises as needed.  It's working well!  

I'm watching a lot of YouTube rehab channels.  I'm doing a lot of exercises.  I have a whole physical therapy gym's worth of equipment in the living room.  I've been doing the electric slide  (from a YouTube video: Line dancing for seniors!) to work on side and backward stepping.  I still have so many issues: toes are still curling (but getting better in general), my knee does not extend when walking, no heel strike, no dorsiflexion (foot doesn't lift up).   My ankle doesn't move side to side at all.  I have trouble getting my heels on the ground, which is probably due to unbalanced calf muscles. My balance is not great. My hip is almost as bad as my ankle, with many needed movements simply not there. All of these issues feel overwhelming and frustrating, and I can't possibly do all of the exercises for each of these problems.  I need wisdom to know what direction to go in. 

If you are still reading, thank you!   I'm still hoping to walk normally, and, in an emergency situation, it would be handy if I could run a little.  I'm willing to put the work in, and maybe that will be the way God works in this situation.  But I wouldn't complain if He decided to work some healing miracle either. I would so appreciate your prayers when you think of me!