Hi Folks: 

I returned to Boston this week for my 6 month follow-up tests: The short version is my bone marrow biopsy was free of amyloid and my kidneys are still working. 

The long version is …  Well, after "no more chemo" and "no dialysis" - who really cares? Amiright?  

What I do care about and vividly re-lived a few hundred times already is the notoriously conservative and hard-to-please Dr. Sloan saying: "I think you're going live long enough to die of something besides amyloid." 

"So, I've got that going for me." (Quoting the immortal Bill Murray in Caddyshack) 

The idea that amyloid might not kill me hasn't really sunk in yet and probably won't for a several more days. When I left Boston Wednesday, several test results still weren't back, including the bone marrow biopsy, (which isn't nearly as kinky the second time - ouch) and Dr. Sloan told me to anticipate the biopsy results would most likely show a need to start 2 years of preventative chemo when I got home.

Double ugh...

As much as I tried not to think about the possibility of spending the next 2 years on chemo, I did go to Fenway on a very cold Tuesday night, had one beer and got to see the Rockies win in extra innings. After that, and as Tuesday turned into Wed, Thurs, Fri...  I found myself clenching my jaw until my head hurt waiting to receive the letter they send after all the results are in. 

In a welcome turnaround from what I was expecting, a wonderful nurse practitioner who has been by my side from the very first day I arrived in Boston called today (Sunday) because she didn't want me to have to wait for the good news on the biopsy until the letter arrived in the mail. 

I'm at a loss for words for how to thank all the people from Boston, Alabama, Colorado and everywhere else who literally and figuratively came to my rescue, sent all those prayers, cards, gifts and other support from so many places and parts of my life. 

With more anticipation that any other year (it seems more like 9 years), I'm heading back to the Island for the first time this weekend. The first ferry ride of every year is always special. There's something about pulling away from the mainland that always makes one breathe a little deeper and exhale a little farther. The same goes for watching the first Island sunset each year.

I've written before about how week after week went by last fall and fall then stretched into winter and things kept getting worse and worse, how there were several times I wondered if I'd ever recover enough to ever go back to some of my favorite places or be healthy enough to enjoy them: Another day hunting with friends and dogs; hiking up Flagstaff; skiing for my birthday; on the boat; at Schoolhouse; salmon fishing; gumbo party; Alby shakes; and, and, and, and,.... 

I've already been fortunate enough to ski a few runs this spring and another big step happened a couple of weeks ago when I ran the dogs in a field trial and even though we didn't bring back a ribbon, it was a wonderful day back in boots and camo with my highly-trained couch surfers.  

But bigger than either of those has been the entire idea of making it back to the Island. It was only a few weeks after I left last summer that I ended up in the hospital trying to figure out what the heck was wrong. That, added to going back to Boston this past week, which was a lot more stressful and full of flashbacks than I ever anticipated, looms larger in significance than it did even week ago. Seeing my transplant team again and the having the opportunity to give them a proper thank you was the best part of the trip, but faded quickly at the thought of 2 more years of chemo.

Now that I've been mentally and figuratively 'released from Shawshank' for the foreseeable future, going back to the Island this week, opening the front door, going down to the dock, seeing everyone, firing up the grill, sleeping in my own bed …. will greatly exceed anything else on that list that I've been able to insofar as wiping out the terrible thoughts from last fall/winter.  

So it's okay to laugh at me if I cry...There's already more than one episode of that already this week.
 
So, with great relief and thanks, I hope to see as many of you as possible there this weekend or "here, there and everywhere else" this summer to say thanks and celebrate. 

T