There is new kind of quiet in my home.  The kind that does not really have a beginning or an end. After all the people left today the house is solemn, me and the dogs trying to figure out how to keep going.  The Christmas decorations don't seem as festive and time seems to stand still.

 Tom left this morning to start his new adventure.  It was a very peaceful passing.  Dawn and Ashleigh were both here and we all slept in the bed with him with our heads nestled up against his tired and frail body. His beloved dog Bailee stood vigil over him and never left his side for four days and nights. He stroked her fur to comfort himself and to comfort her.   In the wee hours of the morning, she left his side and climbed up on his chest and began to pant to warn us it was time to let go. I am thankful for the loyalty of his precious pet. His breath was peaceful all night, it seemed that the four of us took our breaths in sync throughout the night, a reminder that we will always be connected even in death. We spoke to him gently through the night, urging him to be free and assuring him we will be okay and letting him know how much he is loved. He let us sleep through the night and waited until the bright of the morning to pass on. I believe he was worried that we needed a good nights sleep so he waited. He thought about our needs that way, always. His passing was beautiful and peaceful.  The girls and I played his favorite song "Free Bird"  as he took his last breaths and we sang together and celebrated the time we have had with him and the legacy he leaves through our tears.

His memory lives on and we will eventually be able to breathe again, even though it seems impossible right now.  My children and grandchildren are hurting.  We are all looking for our new normal.  I hope it comes easy.  He was an active part of each of our day. It will be different.

  For me, alone is a scary thing. The future seems so uncertain. But I have my family and will find the balance somehow. I am forever thankful that I loved so hard that losing him hurts so bad.

Our family is closer than ever.  I am forever grateful that we chose to move across the street from Dawn and her family.  Ashleigh is only a short drive away. He was so happy she found her paradise in her new home. We will lean on one another and cherish the memories.  We spent our morning watching family videos of all the times we have spent together laughing and loving life.   Vacations, holidays, fishing lessons, boat rides and good times won't ever be the same. We will all be okay.  It will just be a new normal.

Fly free my man, you are a Free Bird.  Till we meet again.