Journal entry by Dawn Gardner —
Have you ever been on a roller coaster?
I loved roller coasters as a child and I hate them now.
There is supposed to be a sweet anticipation as you slowly rise to the top. Instead, now I am terrified and think why the heck am I doing this? Then, I realize there is no turning back and I just need to brace myself and pretend to enjoy the ride. Since you are with your child, you go into parent mode and focus on protecting them from falling out of the seat. You still not enjoying the ride but now you have a purpose.
This is kind of how I feel right now.
Most of you who know me know me as happy and joyful and love life. I don't always feel strong or want to be positive. Yes, I said it. Yes, I admit it.
The past few days it has been very difficult to be joyful. It is OK to have moments of pain, sorrow and moments of doubt. If fact, I think it is almost necessary to have these difficult times in your lives so you appreciate the good that life has to offer. This is like the giddy feeling you get as you rise to the top of the coaster and that butterfly feeling you get as you quickly descend to the bottom and rise to the top. At the moment, I feel like the coaster is stuck at the bottom of the hill waiting for the repair team to show up. All I can do is wait and pray that the repair team knows what they are doing.
On Thursday, Todd had a schedule of a 1:00 blood work and then a 2:00 meeting with the doctor. When I arrived at JHH, I saw Todd he looked like crap. The doctor saw him and even before we walked in her office she said your hemoglobin levels are still really low and you need another blood transfusion.
I asked the doctor about the blood work and if they had markers for Kidney cancer. Dr. Handy-Marshall explained that kidney cancer does not have marker tests like some other cancers. She was mostly checking for his over all health. It turns out that Todd has low thyroid and that would explain why Todd has been extremely hot and cold. The low thyroid probably came as a result of the immunology treatment. If you remember 30% of people get some type of immunology disease from the treatment. Thank you statistics. I would have rather been in the other 70%.
Since it was late in the day, the doctor sent Todd over to the main hospital to get the transfusion. They have to first type and screen you before you get the transfusion. This can take about three hours. Even though they have all is information and he has already had a transfusion there two weeks ago, it is a standard operating procedure.
Thank God for BOB!!! I left at 5:00(to take care of Hayden since she has the flu and strep) and he had not gotten the transfusion yet. The nurse said the urgent care closed at 7:30. She said she explained to that to the doctor. She said she would only be able to give Todd one bag of blood as long as the blood gets there by 6:15. The clinic could give him one bag in one arm as he received treatment in the other arm. It seemed logical. Never estimate the power of the doctor because Todd finished both bags by 1:00 AM!!! Yes, 1:00 AM. I guess the doctor really wanted Todd to have the transfusion prior to the next day's treatment.
The adventure continued only a few hours later when Todd had to be back by 8:00 AM for treatment. As soon as the doctor saw him, she told him the transfusion did not work to bring his red blood cell levels up and he would not get another blood transfusion. He would still receive the cancer treatment. Todd got home at 6:00 PM after receiving his second cancer treatment. Thank God for Bob because that was another long day.
Todd will get blood work in the next week and a half. I am hoping we are climbing back up the hill of the coaster. Only time will tell.
Please Pray:
Prayers of Thanks
https://www.gofundme.com/manage/help-todd-with-his-fight-against-kidney-cancer
I loved roller coasters as a child and I hate them now.
There is supposed to be a sweet anticipation as you slowly rise to the top. Instead, now I am terrified and think why the heck am I doing this? Then, I realize there is no turning back and I just need to brace myself and pretend to enjoy the ride. Since you are with your child, you go into parent mode and focus on protecting them from falling out of the seat. You still not enjoying the ride but now you have a purpose.
This is kind of how I feel right now.
Most of you who know me know me as happy and joyful and love life. I don't always feel strong or want to be positive. Yes, I said it. Yes, I admit it.
The past few days it has been very difficult to be joyful. It is OK to have moments of pain, sorrow and moments of doubt. If fact, I think it is almost necessary to have these difficult times in your lives so you appreciate the good that life has to offer. This is like the giddy feeling you get as you rise to the top of the coaster and that butterfly feeling you get as you quickly descend to the bottom and rise to the top. At the moment, I feel like the coaster is stuck at the bottom of the hill waiting for the repair team to show up. All I can do is wait and pray that the repair team knows what they are doing.
On Thursday, Todd had a schedule of a 1:00 blood work and then a 2:00 meeting with the doctor. When I arrived at JHH, I saw Todd he looked like crap. The doctor saw him and even before we walked in her office she said your hemoglobin levels are still really low and you need another blood transfusion.
I asked the doctor about the blood work and if they had markers for Kidney cancer. Dr. Handy-Marshall explained that kidney cancer does not have marker tests like some other cancers. She was mostly checking for his over all health. It turns out that Todd has low thyroid and that would explain why Todd has been extremely hot and cold. The low thyroid probably came as a result of the immunology treatment. If you remember 30% of people get some type of immunology disease from the treatment. Thank you statistics. I would have rather been in the other 70%.
Since it was late in the day, the doctor sent Todd over to the main hospital to get the transfusion. They have to first type and screen you before you get the transfusion. This can take about three hours. Even though they have all is information and he has already had a transfusion there two weeks ago, it is a standard operating procedure.
Thank God for BOB!!! I left at 5:00(to take care of Hayden since she has the flu and strep) and he had not gotten the transfusion yet. The nurse said the urgent care closed at 7:30. She said she explained to that to the doctor. She said she would only be able to give Todd one bag of blood as long as the blood gets there by 6:15. The clinic could give him one bag in one arm as he received treatment in the other arm. It seemed logical. Never estimate the power of the doctor because Todd finished both bags by 1:00 AM!!! Yes, 1:00 AM. I guess the doctor really wanted Todd to have the transfusion prior to the next day's treatment.
The adventure continued only a few hours later when Todd had to be back by 8:00 AM for treatment. As soon as the doctor saw him, she told him the transfusion did not work to bring his red blood cell levels up and he would not get another blood transfusion. He would still receive the cancer treatment. Todd got home at 6:00 PM after receiving his second cancer treatment. Thank God for Bob because that was another long day.
Todd will get blood work in the next week and a half. I am hoping we are climbing back up the hill of the coaster. Only time will tell.
Please Pray:
- that his hemoglobin levels increase
- the cancer treatments attack and kill the cancer
- the thyroid medicine helps to regulate his temperature and swelling
- keep Todd positive and focused on the goal of killing the cancer
- no one else gets the flu or strep in our house!!!
Prayers of Thanks
- for the team of medical professionals that take care of Todd
- for Dr. Handy-Marshall for being persistent and getting her way
- for friends like his neighbor Bob who has selflessly volunteered to take this long journey with us and take Todd to his doctor appointments
https://www.gofundme.com/manage/help-todd-with-his-fight-against-kidney-cancer
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